Starring
Detective Puxty &
Detective Wood
Written by Pankhurst 1-14
Chapter 1
Suddenly the door flew open, hitting the wall behind it, the noise reverberating round the eerily silent room until
slowly it died out and there was silence once again. Illuminated in the doorway by the harsh moonlight was
Detective Puxty, a veteran detective with many years on the Coopers Community Police Force. Thanks to her
many a thief, burglar and killer had been caught and brought to justice. Usually Detective Puxty had her longtime
partner detective Wood, by her side; however, on this cold November night, she was alone.
Inhaling and scrutinising the room, she took in the crime scene with gusto and intrigue, her keenly trained
detective’s eye taking in every detail. In the far corner of the room, a pool of blood stained the glistening marble
floor and a bloody cleaver lay beside it. Underneath the window lay shattered glass, which twinkled like
diamonds when the light caught it. Reflexes buzzing as she caught the glistening, Detective Puxty drew her
sidearm and aimed ahead of herself, despite being almost certain that she was the only living soul in the
building. She shone her Maglite into each corner of the room, chasing the shadows and her suspicions away.
In the distance she heard sirens; it could be her police colleagues dealing with the usual nuisance calls or
something altogether more sinister.
As she surveyed the crime scene, she thought to herself, ‘What has happened here? What tragedy or misfortune
has befallen this house?’
Chapter 2
The mansion was located in downtown Coopers, a few blocks from the Police Department headquarters. It was
a tall sandstone building with an almost Gothic façade. The interior was like a posh hotel – gold handrail up the
stairs, huge Regency-style mirrors on the wall and that expanse of marble floor. Not the usual kind of dive Puxty
would go into when investigating a murder. The place was eerie without people, though. Anyway, focus, thought
Puxty. Nobody here. Let’s get to the bottom of this…
Her train of thought was interrupted by the bleep of her mobile. It was Wood. She picked up without saying a
word – Wood would expect this. Puxty nodded curtly and murmured ‘Yep’ into the phone – Wood was providing
background details on some similar murders committed over the past few years, and the usual suspects – down
and outs, loafers – the kind of scum Puxty loved to lock away. With a final grunt, Puxty hung up the phone. To
work. She edged towards the spreading puddle of dark scarlet liquid. She wasn’t squeamish, but this was a lot of
blood. A lot. The weapon looked brutal – more like the kind of thing you’d find in a third world army than a
professional kitchen.
But the biggest problem just wouldn’t go away, as Puxty stood there, angry and perplexed. Where was the damn
body?!
Chapter 3
There were no obvious indications – trails of blood or similar – to indicate where the body had been taken
following the bloody murder.
Knowing the area well, Puxty’s first thought was that the murderer, who must be strong enough to carry the body
without having to drag it – or perhaps this was the foul murder of a child? – must have taken the body to the
nearby woods. This would be the perfect hiding place and potential resting place for a body.
As she approached the woods, Detective Puxty could hear the sound of a shovel repeatedly hitting the hardened
earth. Her first thought was that this mystery would be easier to solve than had at first seemed – someone was
burying a body in the woods!
Shining her Maglite fearlessly into the darkness, Puxty’s glance fell on the wet and shiny eyes of Mr Watson,
know to Puxty as a resident of Lomax, the institution for the weak of mind located near to the woods. Mr Watson
was weeping copiously – tears splashing the ground.
‘Why?’ wailed Watson. ‘Why did my hamster think he could swim?’
Puxty quickly realised that the crime was not solved and that she had not stumbled across the murderer burying
the body, but rather a distraught pet owner disposing of their dead hamster.
Chapter 4
As she approaches the man burying his hamster, he turns very aggressively and is acting suspicious. She keeps
her hand on her firearm and approaches Mr Watson cautiously. As she steps closer and closer she realizes he
is clearly distraught. “Go away! Go away!” he shouts, however, Detective Puxty shows her bravery and carries
on approaching. Mr Watson looks at her with a face full of fury and just as he goes to run for her he breaks down
in distress. Detective Puxty quickly uses this opportunity to run at Mr Watson. “Are you okay?” she asks but he
just lays there in sheer shock, “Sir, are you okay she repeats”, he then rolls over and Detective Puxty’s face is in
disbelief and pure shock. All the colour quickly drains out of her face and for a women of such bravery, even she
looked as though she was about to pass out. In front of her lay Mr Watson with a meat cleaver sticking out of his
chest. Had he befallen the killer, was it a case of wrong place, wrong time or something much more devious…
Chapter 5
Puxty kept searching in the woods. If Mr Watson had indeed seen the murderer he or she couldn't be far. There
was still the case of a missing body-This is the best place to hide a body after all. If not, where else could they
have hidden it? Behind the Mansion House? In the English building? Is it even in the school premises? All these
thoughts rushed around Puxty's head. Either way she wouldn't rest until she had found the body and bought the
murderer to justice. 'Tick' as a twig went snap, Miss Puxty snapped out of her thoughts and turned around drew
her side arm and aimed at the direction the sound came from. It was hard to pick things in the light out but Puxty
recognised that walk....She was at last reunited with Wood and together they set about solving the case.
Mr Watson’s body was removed and the crime scene cordoned off for forensic examination. Upon finishing their
examination they found themselves with some evidence at least. A partial finger print on the cleaver that killed
Mr Watson and some curious markings carved into one of the trees.
Chapter 6
The fingerprint was inconclusive however it was scarred with a mark of red. A burn Puxty thought. This could
narrow the suspect pool, a person who works with flames-a scientist or technician perhaps.
She decided to follow this line of investigate further. She raced to the science department to start her enquiries,
only to find three locked doors with no other entrance. From a twitch of her side arm, the window shattered,
leaving shards of glass dead on the floor, like diamonds in the rough. She climbs through with no thought of
what she will meet but only the intention to avenge the dead innocents.
A strike of a match then lights the gas of a Bunsen burner. Followed by the sizzle and crackle of a roaring flame.
Her breath shortens and fingers begin to numb. Feeling the Earth tremble beneath her feet. Footsteps echoed
through the narrow corridors of the building. A scream then to follow…
She runs with no thought of what peril lies ahead. Hoping to save the victim. She reaches a dead end. Meeting
a bloody cleaver lodged in the wall, engulfed in crimson blood. She puts her ear on the wall, hearing nothing
but a deafening silence and hollow steps of an escape…
Chapter 7
Detectives Puxty and Wood were growing exasperated at the trail of red herrings so far presented to them, and
the lack of any real suspects.
Feeling tired and hungry, they hoped for some refreshment, but finding the Coopers snack-shack closed, they
hurried up the road to the warmth and welcome of the “Tiger’s Head” establishment.
“I’ve been doing some thinking” said Wood, as she tucked in to her jacket potato.
“I believe we need to take another look in that old mansion. There have been some reports recently of strange
goings on. Did you know that beneath the floors of that mansion there are passageways linking to Chislehurst
caves?”
Back down Hawkwood Lane they strode with determination, and entered the mansion where they were due to
interview Mr Sikora, an expert on the history of Coopers. They soon discovered the entrance to the
underground passage and Mr Sikora brought a jangling set of keys to open it up.
“I am not happy about this,” he warned severely.
“There is superstition that the curse of Coopers falls upon us whenever this door is opened.”
These words failed to unnerve the stalwart duo of Puxty and Wood, and the creaking door was quickly unlocked.
As she shone her torch on to what lay below, Puxty gasped, “Just take a look at this!”
Chapter 8
Lying at the bottom of the stairs was yet another body with yet another bloody red cleaver in his back.
The dynamic duo quickly descended the wooden stairs. Slam! Clink! The door slammed shut.
‘’So, Sikora is in on it is he?’’ exclaims Wood.
‘’This is all becoming stranger and stranger by the minute. First Mr Watson, then we are being trapped and
locked in by Sikora. Whatever next?’’ considered Puxty.
Approaching the lifeless body, Puxty and Wood cautiously heaved the body over. Mr Armstrong’s lifeless face
peered up at them. A wry smile across his palid face.
‘’Wood, I am at a complete loss. We have no evidence and we are no further on in this investigation’’ cried
Puxty.
Just then a small grey mouse scuttled past. Looking down Wood noticed a piece of white paper protruding from
the collar of Armstrong’s shirt. Without a moment of hesitation, Wood yanked at the piece of paper and began to
read it.
‘’Well what does it say? Puxty asked eagerly.
Silently, Wood passed the paper into Puxty’s eager hands. Nothing but computer codes lay strewn across the
paper. Obviously, a code ponders Puxty. But what does it all mean? And more importantly how on earth are we
going to get out of this tunnel…
Chapter 9
Wood licks her finger and slowly raises it. Puxty’s seen this move before. Wood was an expert tracker, and
finding air currents was like breathing for her. ‘This way!’ she called out, and began a quick trot with Puxty on her
heels. She struggled to keep up and doubled her speed, but she was still pulling away.
A faint flickering of light was creeping up the walls. So distracted was Puxty that she crashed right into a frozen
Wood. ‘What did you do that for?’ Puxty quizzed, pulling herself up off the ground. In all their time working
together, she’d never known Wood to freeze before. Then she saw it, there was what could make the modest
hardened, veteran member of the force freeze in her tracks.
There, hibernating at the end of the cave lay a cavern full of high tech computers. The screens were black but
small led lights lit up around the caves like a Christmas tree. The walls were filled with roughed up pieces of
paper of the victims and their families. ‘Look over there!’ exclaimed Wood. ‘We need the computer code!’ Puxty
withdrew the piece of paper and passed it onto Wood. ‘Why don’t we try entering this code into one of the
computers?’ suggested Puxty. Wood touched the screen of one of the monitors and… ‘BEEEEEEP!’ Puxty and
Wood stood in shock. ‘What is going on?!?’ yelled Wood. ‘I’m a head teacher, get me out of here!’ cried Puxty.
Chapter 10
The alarm kept beeping louder and louder, Puxty and Wood looked at each other in horror. They heard rustling
outside the cave and Wood exclaimed “WHAT! You are a Headteacher???!” “Shhhh” Puxty whispered...
“There’s someone outside, this is not the time and place to discuss this”.
Wood was about to argue back when suddenly all the computers stopped beeping. There was complete silence
and the rustling outside had also stopped.
All of a sudden there was a load crumbling noise and the walls of the cave started to cave in. ‘Puxty Heeelp!!!”
Screamed Wood and a large rock fell between them and separated them. “Are you ok Wood? Puxty was
gasping for breath from all the dust she had inhaled.
“No I am not” snapped Wood... “You still need to answer my question… you are a Headteacher? Please don’t
tell me…for Coopers School?!”
“I told you.” Puxty responded “This is not the time and pla…” Puxty stopped talking midway.
She had just seen a trapdoor appear where the walls had crumbled.
“Hello… you there?” Wood questioned.
Puxty moved towards the trapdoor and pulled it, it opened easily. Puxty looked inside and gasped. There was an
arrow pointing downwards where there was a staircase, and the arrow read ‘Pathway to Coopers School’.
Chapter 11
Well there was nothing they could do....they'd have to split up.
"Wood" Puxty exclaimed
"Yes" replied Wood
"Here's what we need to do. I'll follow the staircase and you work on cracking the computer code. Hopefully
there will be a clue as to who the missing body is, as well as who is behind this"
"Ok, I don't have reception down here so if something bad happens, tell my family I love them. And Puxty, before
you go I need to know the truth-Are you a Headteacher or a detective?"
Wood heard an audible sigh from the other side of the rocks
"I am both, I am an undercover detective, who was placed as a Headteacher at this school. It has been kept
quiet, but for years there have been strange goings on; disappearances, teachers rarely stay more than a year
at a time. I was placed here to get to the bottom of it.
Wood took this all in, it now made sense-the times when Puxty would go missing for days at a time and say she
was working a case. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted
"Good luck Wood"
"You too Puxty"
And with that they went their separate ways.
CHAPTER 12
Puxty went down the eerie staircase; it was dark, damp and cold. Cobwebs surrounded the corners of each step.
As she was going down, she began to wonder why the staircase went downwards but didn’t want to further
question it. The further she went the more the silence was interrupted. The noises began to grow.
The unknown sounds became exceedingly louder and echoed throughout the broken walls. Puxty began to
shiver and see small shadows appearing.
Chapter 13
Puxty slowly crept through the tunnel, ensuring she didn’t let anyone know of her presence. The air grew colder
and the stench became worse. She eventually reached a hole in the wall in which she could peer in.
She approached the parting with caution, slowly glancing in. It was dark, but she could make out small figures
and some mumbling. It was hard to hear what they were saying. One of the figures wandered near a light. Puxty
tried to examine their face, they just needed to move a little closer. They inched closer and became more
identifiable. Just as they moved fully into the light a hand suddenly grabbed Puxty’s shoulder. Puxty jumped
away a fly-kicked the person in the face, knocking them out cold. The raucous alerted the other people in the
room. Puxty started running further into the tunnel through fear of being chased. She quickly came to a ladder.
Without thinking she jumped up and broke through the hatch above her.
As her eyes adjusted to the room she had entered, she realized where she was. She was in someone’s office.
The door had been locked shut and impenetrable from anywhere but this hatch. On the floor lay a bloody
cleaver, and severed head and the body of what appeared to be Mr Snook. Was this his office?
Puxty didn't hear any sounds so she felt sure that she hadn't been followed. On closer inspection she found a
ceiling vent. She climbed on the office table and lifted herself into the vent. She followed the vent until she
reached the outside of the building.
When she eventually climbed down she gulped in clean air, looking around she realised she was by the close.
Thinking back she realised that she'd recognised the faces in that tunnel.
It was then she realised she had to find Wood.
Chapter 14
Back in the cave Wood was working her magic on the computers. She had used the code from Mr Armstrong's
pocket to access the culprits account. While the files were loading she looked around, what she felt could be her
final resting place. On the walls were the photos of Mr Armstrong, Mr Snook, Mr Watson and recently found
missing body. The body was that of Mr Harvey. So what conclusions could be made from this?
Firstly, all the victims were male.
Secondly, they were all teachers
Her train of thought was interrupted by the clip, clip of heels on hard rock. She recognised that anywhere it's was
Puxty's 5 inch heels hitting the cold stone.
It sounded like she had bought the cavalry with her. One rock at a time the rubble was cleared until Wood and
Puxty were reunited.
"I know the identity of the missing body" mused Wood
"And I know the culprits" exclaimed Puxty
Together they went off to make arrests and find out the motive for these heinous crimes.
Epilogue
Two weeks later Wood and Puxty were back at the Tigers head establishment, nursing their drinks. Puxty was
sipping a cosmopolitan from an iced cocktail glass and Wood was swirling a large glass of Malbec - the crimson
colour similar to the blood left on meat cleavers over the past few weeks.
The last two weeks had whizzed by in a blur of interviews and arrests. Mr Harvey's lifeless body had been
recovered from the bottom of the lake. It had taken a few days for the stomach gases to float the body to the
surface, as the culprit had tied copies of the great Gatsby to his arms and legs, to hold him down.
The culprits it turned out were the canteen staff, or at least a group of 6 of them. The motive was simple-pent up
rage. Fed up with the staff for not attending break duties and leaving them with feral children; pushing in the
queue, throwing food on tables and generally behaving like animals at feeding time in the zoo.
They had reached their limit. No amount of moaning to Mr Carling had done the trick. In their anger they had
written a hit list-those staff members who most frequently didn't turn up or were late and ineffectual. This
explained the members of staff that disappeared without a trace year on year.
The hidden control room had been just that, a CCTV area for the canteen staff to monitor break duty no-shows.
A computer whizz had hacked into the Coopers system and maintained a watchful eye.
With another case solved Puxty was relieved of her undercover work. No more would she have to attend
Headteacher conferences or keep up to date with ever changing Ofsted framework.
With the two week Christmas holidays around the corner they were both taking some well-earned annual leave.
Puxty was due to go on her first cruise, whilst Wood was spending Christmas with her family.