CHRISTIAN, QUEER AND INTERRACIAL: THE STORY OF PAULI MURRAY
AND IRENE BARLOW
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A thesis submitted to the faculty of
San Francisco State University
In partial fulfillment of
the requirements for
the Degree
K43
Master of Arts
In
Ethnic Studies
by
Hiroki Kimiko Keaveney
San Francisco, California
September 2016
Copyright by
Hiroki Kimiko Keaveney
2016
CERTIFICATION OF APPROVAL
I certify that I have read Christian, Queer and Interracial: The Story of Pauli
Murray and Irene Barlow by Hiroki Kimiko Keaveney, and that in my opinion
this work meets the criteria for approving a thesis submitted in partial fulfillment
of the requirement for the degree Master of Ethnic Studies at San Francisco State
University.
CHRISTIAN, QUEER AND INTERRACIAL: THE STORY OF PAULI MURRAY
AND IRENE BARLOW
Hiroki Kimiko Keaveney
San Francisco, California
2016
The purpose of my research is to tell a story about a queer interracial couple that
used Christianity to create a relationship, in a climate of homophobia and anti­
miscegenation. Pauli Murray and Irene Barlow’s partnership began in the 1950s
and ended in the 1970s. I argue that Christianity was the foundation of this taboo
love. I situate the couple within a larger history of Protestant American queers
using religion as a means of intimacy and identity formation pre-1980s. In chapter
1, I trace how Murray and Barlow’s Christian love strengthened them in their
relationship. In chapter 2, I examine how Murray used the Episcopalian faith to
connect with Barlow after she died. I conclude with reflections about
contemporary
understandings
of marriage,
Christianity
and
the
community.
I certify that the abstract is a correct representation of the content of this thesis
Chair, T<hegfs Committee
LGBT
PREFACE AND/OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
My thesis is for Mr. Harris, thank you for telling eleven year old me, it’s okay to
be mixed. I am grateful for my sister and my mom, for their unconditional love
and support. For Erika and Daniela for always feeding me and gendering me
correctly. Elokin for your herbalist practice, Kim for your humor and Allan for
your inspiring self-work. Fresh! and Quetzal thank you for trans meditation. I
couldn’t have graduated without community. At school, I am grateful for Debbie
and Athena, for all our conversations. Nicole for loving your mixed race self.
Daphne for your loving spirit. Darius for teaching me to think in new ways.
Andrew for your inspiration. And Amy for making life better for this generation
of queer Nikkei. Thank you for your honesty, consistency and expectation of
excellence. Lastly, Pauli and Renee thank you for your guidance. I hope I’ve
honored the life you built together.
v
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction.................................................................................................................................1
Literature Review.......................................................................................................... 2
Theoretical Framework.................................................................................................6
On Pronouns...................................................................................................................8
Methods.......................................................................................................................... 9
Historical Context....................................................................................................... 10
Chapter Outline............................................................................................................12
Chapter 1: Christian Love in the Cold W ar...........................................................................14
Christian Love in an Era of Repression.................................................................... 15
Christian Love in an Era of Change...........................................................................17
Christian Love Says Goodbye...................................................................................22
Chapter 2: Remembering Renee............................................................................................ 27
The Funeral Services...................................................................................................27
Renee’s Memory Booklet.......................................................................................... 31
From Professor to Priest............................................................................................. 32
Remembering Through M emoir................................................................................37
Conclusion............................................................................................................................... 40
Summary......................................................................................................................40
Implications................................................................................................................. 44
1
Introduction
Once in a lifetime, one’s being may be touched by a rare spirit, so exquisitely creative, so
loving, giving and forgiving, so steadfast and capable, so patient and enduring under
multiple afflictions, that one’s own life is totally changed by the encounter.1
-Pauli Murray, “A Christian Friendship,” 1974.
Pauli Murray penned this speech in honor of their partner Irene Barlow,
affectionately known as Renee. Historians record Murray’s work as a civil rights
organizer—from bus boycotts in the 1940s; to coining the term Jane Crow; to writing
States ’ Laws on Race and Color, a book Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall
called the Bible of Civil Rights and essential for his case of Brown v. Board o f
Education—they were on the frontlines of the Civil Rights Movement. Murray also broke
barriers as the first African American assigned female at birth to graduate from Howard
University with a law degree, Yale Law School with a J.D.S. and ordained as an
Episcopal priest. Murray lived a public activist life, but private personal life with Barlow.
Barlow lived a life out of the spotlight and while she does not have a list of
accomplishments, she left behind a legacy of compassion and warmth, which as Murray
stated, “one’s own life is totally changed by the encounter.” Though not as politically
engaged as Murray, Barlow practiced her social justice convictions through her Episcopal
1 Pauli Murray Papers, 1827-1985; “Memorial Booklet,” 1973-1974. MC 412, f 171. Schlesinger Library,
Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University, Cambridge, Mass. (here in after cited as PMP).
2
faith.2 She also supported Murray in their activism and writing, essentially their rock or
•
•
•
'X
in Murray’s words, “spiritual mate.” Her “lovingkindness” inspired Murray to devote the
remaining decade of their life to ministering to the sick and dying as an Episcopal priest.4
Ultimately, Christianity founded and fortified the couple’s intimate bond during the Cold
War.
Murray, a transgender, Black, Native and Irish American, and Barlow, a
cisgender, white British immigrant, formed a relationship rooted in their shared Christian
faith.5 They met while working at the law firm of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton &
Garrison in New York City in 1956. The couple built a life together during a time of
hyper-surveillance towards queers, interracial couples and leftists. I situate the couple
within this history and the history of an evolving homophobic Christian culture. While
Murray and Barlow may seem unique in their queer interracial relationship as Christians
in the Cold War, their story actually fits into a larger history of Protestant Americans
navigating a changing church climate towards LGBT people in the mid-twentieth
century.
Literature Review
2 Episcopalians are the American branch of the Anglican Church. The Anglican Church is global, with
origins in England
3 “For Those Who Loved IB,” 3/6/73-3/13/73. MC 412, f 167.
4 “A Christian Friendship,” 1974, MC 412, f 171, PMP.
5 Cisgender describes people who identify with the gender assigned to them at birth. Transgender describes
people who identify as one or more genders, which differ from their assigned gender at birth.
3
Many historians record Murray’s commitment to social justice but often separate
their work based on movements, whether for civil rights, women’s rights or Episcopal
priesthood. Scholarship on their religious life describes how their faith influenced them
as a mixed race person, but often leaves out their queemess and transness. Some scholars
analyze Murray’s sexuality and gender identity and how these influenced the life they led
both privately and as a public figure. Many of the people who document Murray’s
sexuality and gender identity, refer to their romantic relationship with Peggie Holmes, but
few mention Barlow, their life partner. I address these gaps in the literature by examining
the role of Episcopal faith in Murray’s queer relationship with Barlow. I argue Murray’s
“Christian Friendship” with Barlow influenced their spirituality, sexuality and racial
justice work.
Historian Glenda Gilmore and literary scholar William Maxwell discuss Murray’s
commitment to social justice through organizing and writing, which impacted their
personal life in the Cold W ar.6 Gilmore details Murray’s communist organizing in the
1930s and how this activism led to their Red Scare surveillance in the 1950s and 60s.7
Her documenting Murray’s experiences with surveillance, connects with Maxwell’s
analysis of Murray’s experiences with Cointelpro, a branch of the Red Scare. Cointelpro
targeted African Americans, leftists, and any others whom the government deemed as a
threat to national security. Maxwell unpacks how African American writers experienced
6 Glenda Elizabeth Gilmore. Defying Dixie: The Radical Roots o f Civil Rights, 1919-1950 (New York:
W.W. Norton & Company, 2008); William J. Maxwell F.B. Eyes: How J. Edgar Hoover’s Ghostreaders
Framed African American Literature (Princeton, New Jersey: Princeton University Press, 2015).
7 Gilmore. Defying Dixie.
4
government surveillance and listed writers with FBI files during the Cold W ar.8
Murray’s file explicitly states, “Keep eyes peeled for hints of lesbianism.”9 While
Maxwell has a more race, class and sexuality analysis of Murray’s life, compared to
Gilmore, he does not discuss the role of spirituality in their writing. While Gilmore and
Maxwell do not address Murray’s faith impacting their sexuality, they show how Cold
War paranoia impacted scapegoated groups in the United States and how this fear
manifested in hyper-surveillance. They contribute to illuminating the severity of what
would happen to Murray and Barlow if they disclosed the romantic nature to their
relationship.
Historian Doreen Drury and literary scholar Darlene O’Dell more specifically
describe Murray’s experiences with love and loss while discussing Murray’s race, class
and sexuality. Drury analyzes Murray’s pain of hiding their sexuality from the public.
She also shows how Murray covertly honored their lovers through their writing and
describes Murray’s relationship with Peggie Holmes.10 In addition to detailing Murray’s
romantic relationship, Drury mentions Murray’s gender dysphoria but does not go into
detail or acknowledge Murray as a trans person. She discusses Murray as a priest, but
also does not discuss how the priesthood impacted their queerness or their partnership
with Barlow. Similar to Drury, historian O’Dell unpacks Murray’s personal life. She
8 Maxwell F.B. Eyes.
9 Ibid., 122
10 Doreen M. Drury “Love, Ambition, and ‘Invisible Footnotes’ In the Life and Writing of Pauli Murray.”
In Black Genders and Sexualities, ed. Shaka McGlotten and Dana-Ain Davis, 69-81. (New York: Palgrave
Macmillan, 2009), 79.
5
focuses on Barlow and the role her death played in Murray’s queer identity formation.
O’Dell explains how the couple’s shared life insurance policies and funeral family plot,
showed the public, the life commitment between Barlow and Murray. She describes how
Murray’s decision of the priesthood served as a tribute to honor Barlow’s legacy.11
O’Dell documents Murray’s queer relationship with Barlow and shows how death was
the moment Murray could disclose to the public their commitment to their partner. While
she discusses the priesthood she does not focus on the influence of Christianity in
Murray’s queerness.
Religious scholar Anthony Pinn focuses on Murray’s faith and the role it had in
their life. He collected Murray’s sermons and describes the influence of their mixed race
heritage in their ideas on reconciliation and social activism.12 Pinn explains, like O’Dell,
that Murray became a priest after Barlow died. Where Pinn differs with O’Dell is he does
not acknowledge the queerness of their relationship with Barlow in their decision to join
the priesthood. So while he acknowledges the importance of Murray’s faith, he does not
discuss their queerness. Ultimately, each scholar acknowledges many facets of Murray’s
life; I build off of their research, and add the dimension of Murray’s faith as central to
their queerness. I also discuss how Murray’s interracial relationship informed their
pastoral beliefs about racial reconciliation. I center their Christian identity and the
influence it had on their life as a mixed race, trans person of faith.
11 Darlene O’Dell. Sites o f Southern Memory: The Autobiographies o f Katharine Du Pre Lumpkin, Lillian
Smith, and Pauli Murray (Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia: 2001).
12 Anthony Pinn ed., Pauli Murray: Selected Sermons and Writings. (New York: Orbis Books, 2006).
6
Theoretical Framework
I use religious scholar Heather White’s research to situate Murray and Barlow as
Christians in the Cold War.13 She does not directly discuss Murray but her research is
helpful for explaining why this queer interracial couple could use Christianity as the
unifying force between them. White unpacks the role of psychiatry and pastoral
counseling in the 1920s by Protestant ministers and how the blending of these two fields
created an anti-gay culture, which remained largely dormant until the formation of gay
identity. White shows how both progressive and conservative Christians today use the
narrative of an unchanging anti-gay past in the formation of gay identity. Yet progressive
Christians in the 1960s and 70s advocated for fair treatment of gays and lesbians and
worked with the community to fight for legislation protecting LGBT people. Anti-gay
rhetoric in churches did not fully reach the mainstream Christian parishes until the 1970s.
This is why the Kinsey study on white male sexuality, conducted from 1936 to 1946,
recorded very few of the men having sex with men, understanding it as gay or as a sin.
Kinsey detailed, “There has not been so frequent or so free discussion of the sinfulness of
the homosexual in religious literature...Consequently, it is not unusual to find even
devoutly religious persons who become involved in the homosexual without any clear
understanding of the church’s attitude on the subject.”14
13 Heather R. White. Reforming Sodom: Protestants and the Rise of Gay Rights (Chapel Hill: The
University of North Carolina Press, 2015).
14 Ibid., 3.
7
At the time of Kinsey’s study, many church leaders did not preach about
homosexuality. It took cultural shifts to create a mainstream homophobic Christian
narrative. White’s research challenges “the broad common sense about the Bible’s
specifically same-sex meaning” and shows how it “was an invention of the twentieth
century. Today’s antihomosexual animus, that is, is not the singular residue of an ancient
damnation. Rather, it is the product of a more complex modern synthesis.”15 Thus,
Murray and Barlow met during a time of a changing church culture towards gays and
lesbians. Situating them within this history, it makes sense that they could interpret their
faith to create a queer relationship during the decades before the formation of gay identity
and the rise of the Right in the 1970s and 80s.
Additionally I use cultural theorist Jennifer Terry’s Theorizing Deviant
Historiography to assess how Murray and Barlow used a Christian institution as queer
people.16 Terry uses effective history, “as an interventionist strategy useful and necessary
to those positioned in the margins of dominant accounts.”17 She argues that archiving
queer histories free from systems of oppression would be challenging if not nearly
impossible to accomplish. Terry describes her archiving practices as intentionally not
erasing labels such as, “‘self- hatred’ or ‘self-degradation,’ replacing them with utopian
and heroic qualities like ‘liberated’ and ‘self-determining.’ To demand...unmitigated and
uncomplicated self-understandings historically or in the present is to ignore our agony of
15 Ibid., 3.
16 Jennifer Terry, “Theorizing Deviant Historiography,” A Journal o f Feminist Cultural Studies, 3 no. 2.
(1991): 55-74.
17 Terry, “Theorizing Deviant Historiography,” 56.
8
living in the margins of a deeply homophobic culture.”18 This approach to seeing Murray
and Barlow as complex people living their lives in the Cold War guides my
understanding of them within this specific time period as Christians. Queer and trans
people of color living in the early and mid-twentieth century faced tremendous structural
barriers. Understanding how these structures treated Murray and Barlow is more
revealing of the culture itself, than whether or not the couple internalized oppression. I
use Terry’s approach of deconstructing systems in order to situate Murray and Barlow
within a Christian institution.
On Pronouns
I read Murray as trans and use they/them pronouns to draw attention to their
gender nonconformity. The majority of scholars acknowledge their gender dysphoria,
testosterone therapy, and use of male pronouns and names like Oliver in the 1940s and
Fr. Murray as an Episcopalian priest.19 But few legitimize their trans identity, and some
scholars describe Murray as a self-hating cisgender lesbian.20 The first piece I read which
both acknowledged them as trans and used multiple pronouns to encompass their
genders, is historian Simon Fisher.21 Fisher uses s/he as pronouns to describe Murray’s
gender nonconformity, because Fisher states, “I feel the contemporary they is
18 Ibid., 71.
19 Drury, “Invisible Footnotes,” 80.
20 Nancy Ordover, American Eugenics: Race, Queer Anatomy, and the Science o f Nationalism
(Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press, 2003).
21 Simon D. Fisher, “Pauli Murray’s Peter Panic: Perspectives from the Margins of Gender and Race in Jim
Crow America,” TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly, 3, no. 1-2. (May 2016): 95-103.
9
ahistorical.”22 While I understand the argument of the ahistorical nature of they/them, I
chose these pronouns to use a term outside of the gender binary.23 Throughout their life,
Murray used multiple pronouns, dressed with masculine and feminine clothing and
shortened their birth name from Pauline to gender-neutral name of Pauli. I think
they/them represents more of a gender fluid interpretation of Murray as a trans person.
Methods
I examined correspondence, diary entries and other materials in the Pauli Murray
Files stored at Harvard’s Schlesinger Library. I used Murray’s hospital records from the
1930s and 1940s as a means of better understanding their queemess and transness. They
wrote extensively in these files about their gender dysphoria and desires for women.
Throughout the records they discuss the role of religion in their life and not once do they
mention their faith being in conflict with their gender or sexuality. Additionally, I
gathered every file on Barlow with a focus on her relationship with Murray. The files
contain letters between the couple in which they sign most in code names, due to the
Cold War hyper-surveillance. Barlow’s files also have information related to her illness
and death— telegrams from loved ones, funeral arrangements and condolence letters to
Murray.
22 Fisher, “Peter Panic,” 99.
23 Oxford Dictionary, http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/using-they-and-them-in-the-singular
(accessed September 12, 2016). Despite objections, there is a trend to use ‘singular they’. In fact, it is
historically long established. It goes back at least to the 16th century, and writers such as Shakespeare,
Sidney, Byron, and Ruskin used it.
10
I scanned entries from the Pauli Murray Files of the months immediately
following Barlow’s death, in which Murray processed their grief and what the
relationship meant to them. I recorded newspaper clippings and correspondence related to
their ordination and experiences as a priest. I read Murray’s sermons and listened to an
oral history interview about their theological beliefs.24 In the interview, they described at
length how their race and gender affected their Christian ministry, specifically how their
life experiences guided their beliefs about reconciliation across racial lines. Lastly, I
analyzed Murray’s memoir to better understand how their faith influenced their
relationship with Barlow.25 Along with the primary sources from the Pauli Murray Files,
I utilized secondary texts on Christianity, interracial intimacy, Cointelpro, the Lavender
Scare and the Red Scare. I used these to explain the structural barriers the couple faced
and unpacked how their story fits into a larger historical experience between Protestant
Americans and queers.
Historical Context
Murray and Barlow met in the 1950s New York City, during the repressive era of
the Cold War. This time period marked one of government hyper-surveillance of
interracial couples, queers and leftists. These various groups represented the enemy to the
nation state, because white, nuclear, cisgender, heterosexual families symbolized the
24 Anthony Pinn ed., Pauli Murray: Selected Sermons and Writings. (New York: Orbis Books, 2006);
Genna Rae McNeil Oral History Interview with Pauli Murray in Documenting the American South,
http://docsouth.unc.edu/sohp/G-0044/menu.html (accessed March 15, 2016).
25 Pauli Murray, Song in a Weary Throat: An American Pilgrimage (New York: Harper and Row
Publishers, 1987), 314.
11
foundation of the nation, while queer couples and interracial couples represented
deviance due to their inability to create the white nuclear family unit.26 According to
literary scholar Tyler Schmidt, conservatives during this era of Cold War containment,
argued child rearing and family stability as “foundational to broader national security”
and “those who deviated from gender, sexual and racial norms were potential security
threats.”27 Desegregation following WWII contributed to the fear of the end of the white
race. Post-WWII beginnings of desegregation meant more egalitarian interactions in
public spaces, which increased national anxiety about the family structure and future of
white America.28
Additionally the U.S. government sanctioned the Lavender Scare in the 1950s,
which systematically fired gay and lesbian identified and perceived individuals. The fear
of queers overlapped with the fear of communists. Both queers and communists were
“perceived as alien subcultures that recruited the psychologically maladjusted to join in
immoral behavior that threatened the nation’s survival. Many claimed the two groups
were working together.”29 Murray’s work with the Communist Party in the 1930s made
them a target of even more government surveillance as a progressive queer Black lawyer
and writer. Thus Murray and Barlow pursing a relationship had high stakes and
consequences. They carefully navigated this time period through their shared Christian
26 Stefanie K. Dunning, Queer in Black and White: Interraciality, Same Sex Desire, and Contemporary
African American Culture (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 2009).
2 Tyler T. Schmidt, Desegregating Desire: Race and Sexuality in Cold War American Literature (Jackson:
University Press of Mississippi, 2013), 10.
28 Schmidt, Desegregating Desire, 10.
29 David K. Johnson, Lavender Scare: The Cold War Persecution o f Gays and Lesbians in the Federal
Government (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 2004), 38.
12
faith. While it may seem unusual for the twenty-first century looking back for a queer
couple to bond as Christians in the Cold War, I argue it was logical for Murray and
Barlow to forge a relationship rooted in their Episcopalian faith during this time period.
Chapter Outline
Two chapters followed by a conclusion trace how the Anglican faith grounded the
couple’s relationship and how their story fits into a complicated history of LGBT people
and Christianity. Chapter 1, “Christian Love During the Cold War,” details how the
couple met and lived their lives together as Episcopalians. Chapter 2, “Remembering
Renee,” describes how Murray used Christianity to honor Barlow after she died, and in
the process, strengthened their own faith. In the conclusion I end with reflections about
Murray and Barlow’s queer interracial relationship and what this means for the 50th
anniversary of Loving v. Virginia and contemporary perspectives about LGBT people and
mainstream Protestantism.
In the introduction I explained previous scholarship on Murray and argued that
studying their relationship with Barlow adds another important perspective—how their
faith impacted their queemess. I listed previous literature about Murray’s romantic
relationships, activism and the Cold War context of hostility towards interracial couples,
queers, Black activists and communists. I then described the methods and theoretical
frameworks I use to unpack the couple’s relationship. I set the Cold War historical
context of Murray and Barlow. I examined how Murray’s experiences with the
13
Communist Party as a queer Black organizer, impacted their ability to be out as a queer
interracial couple. I explained that the couple used Christianity to forge a bond that could
sustain a climate of fear, paranoia and hyper-surveillance. Lastly, I traced the evolution of
homophobia in Christianity over the twentieth century. Murray and Barlow using their
Anglican faith to create a partnership in the 1950s and 60s was not only possible, but also
very probable for queer Christians navigating a changing church and cultural climate.
14
Chapter 1: Christian Love During the Cold War
[A] loyalty investigation [is]a harassing [s/c] experience. One feels frightened, insecure,
exposed. One thinks of all the...deep secrets of one’s life unrelated to political activities.
One is apprehensive that all of the details of one’s private life will be spread on the
record...One worries over one’s private indiscretions...but which may now endanger
one’s economic security.30
Three years before meeting Barlow, Murray wrote this diary entry after Cornell
University rejected their teaching application due to “questionable references.”31 Their
references were former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, Supreme Court Justice Thurgood
Marshall and future co-organizer of the March on Washington Philip A. Randolph; all
three known for their progressive stances on racial and economic justice. Murray worried
not only over potential communist associations with the three references, but they also
worried about their own experiences with the Communist Party in the 1930s.32 While
their entry focuses mainly on the personal and not political stances they took, their
political associations made their personal life a matter of scrutiny. Their “deep secrets,”
referred to their relationships with women in the 1930s and 1940s. Murray knew both
their personal and political life negatively affected their chances of employment and
reputation. The Red Scare, along with the Lavender Scare created a climate of fear and
paranoia for progressives and queers. This climate of paranoia towards queers and
30 Pauli Murray Papers (MC 412), Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University (hereinafter
cited as PMP). “Diary Notes,” January 31, 1953, f 27.
31 Glenda Gilmore, Defying Dixie: Radical Roots o f Civil Rights, 1919-1950 (New York: W.W. Norton &
Company, 2008), 430.
32 Gilmore, Defying Dixie, 442.
15
progressives haunted Murray as they wrote this entry. It would take a great deal of
discretion to embark on a queer interracial relationship, particularly as a public political
figure with communist roots. Three years after they wrote the entry, Murray met Barlow.
They had an immediate spiritual connection and I argue that this connection coupled with
their shared Episcopal faith would help the two love across their differences during a time
of anti-miscegenation, homophobia and fear of progressives. I trace the couple’s spiritual
bond, from their first meeting, to their last conversation, showing how Christianity united
them while they navigated a rapidly changing church culture towards queers and a
society that stigmatized both queer and interracial intimacies.
Christian Love in an Era of Repression
In 1956, lawyer Murray met office manager Barlow while working at the law firm
of Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison in New York City. Murray’s first
impression of Barlow: “she was tall and slender.. .with an air of quiet self-assurance. Her
TO
strong, attractive face and blue-green eyes radiated generosity and kindness.” Along
with their initial physical impression, in Murray’s words, there was “an underlying
spiritual dimension which had been present from the outset.”34 During the first month of
meeting, Barlow invited them to lunch. Murray stated, “Our conversation was tentative
and formal until she unconsciously used the phrase ‘the blessed company of all faithful
people,’ which I immediately recognized as coming from the Book of Common Prayer.
33 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 314.
34 Ibid., 316
16
Our discovery that we were both worshiping Episcopalians was the beginning of a
spiritual bond.”35 After this conversation Murray recalled, “We used our lunch hours to
attend the Wednesday services at Saint Bartholomew’s church on Park Avenue a few
blocks from our office.”36 These weekly church outings served as the spiritual foundation
of the couple’s queer interracial relationship.
The couple was able to use their Christian faith as a source of connection because
parishes did not overtly condemn LGBT people during this time period. The decade
Murray and Barlow met marked a period of transition in biblical texts and sermons.
Religious scholar White explains how mainstream Protestants used various editions of
the Bible and their interpretations varied across parishes. She references a popular
sermon from a 1956 guide on writing Christian sermons. White explains how a pastor
“expanded on the ‘general meaning’ of the Apostle Paul’s reference to the ‘effeminate,’
which the pastor took as warning against ‘the soft, the liable, those who take the easy
road.’ The take-away point was that Christians must undertake the difficult path of
faith.”37 The pastor interpreted the word effeminate outside the context of homosexuality.
White notes, “It was a fine sermon, or so the pastor thought, until he read the RSV
[Revised Standard Version Bible]. He discovered ‘to his amazement and chagrin’ that
‘effeminate’ was translated ‘homosexuals.’... An earlier edition of The Interpreter’s
Bible, published in 1929, said nothing at all about homosexuality in its commentary on
35 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 316. The Book of Common Prayer is a worship book of the Episcopal
Church, composed of prayers and Bible quotations.
36 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 316.
37 White, Reforming Sodom, 2.
17
the same verse in I Corinthians.”38 Parishes varied with interpretations of the Bible based
on the edition and the influence of the Cold War culture on the pastor. While it may seem
unique that Murray and Barlow would use Christianity as a source of connection in 1956,
this sermon shows how mainstream Protestants churches were not overtly homophobic in
the 1950s.
However, while churches were not homophobic, the larger culture was due to
Cold War Containment policies centered on the nuclear family. The couple would use
Christianity to navigate this climate of homophobia in the larger culture and the anti­
miscegenation attitudes in their parish. Murray explained, “My relationship to Renee was
a deeply spiritual one. Had it not been, we could not have survived the ‘forces of
darkness’ which tore at our friendship—racial conflict which invaded even our church,
St. Mark’s on Bowerie, a callous society which does not understand the rarity of a
Damon-Pythias friendship.”39 The story of Damon-Pythias is about two best friends who
were willing to die for one another. It was the ideal model of friendship in ancient
Greece. The couple’s Damon-Pythias relationship rooted in faith helped them navigate
parish racial politics and societal homophobia. Their faith would also help them maintain
their long distance relationship.
Christian Love in an Era of Change
38 Ibid.
39 “Eulogy,” 1973. MC 412, f 167, PMP.
18
Murray left NYC in 1960 for a teaching position in Accra at Ghana School of
Law. The couple’s long distance relationship led to a series of letters, which documented
their faith, politics and devotion to one another. The couple corresponded during their
year apart, from 1960-1961. Murray often critiqued communism—most likely to protect
themself from the Red Scare and Lavender Scare of the previous decade. Additionally,
the international and federal tracking of these letters, most likely forced the couple to use
their real names and not allude to the romantic nature of their relationship.40 While in
Accra, Murray often posed questions about the state of the United States according to
spiritual and economic shifts. They stated:
I am convinced that until our country makes its new frontier a spiritual frontier,
we cannot demonstrate the superiority of our way of life over that of communism.
There lies our great potential— in all things else the communists have
demonstrated that they can equal or better us. It is here that you and I have our
greatest responsibility. More than many people, we lay some claim to emphasis
upon spiritual things. Our function is to translate this emphasis in our personal
lives into our public lives. I think you have done so to a marked degree on your
present job. I should try to do more so in mine. And, of course, it is here that the
great struggle goes on in each of us between the human and divine aspects of our
natures.41
Murray believed the United States’ spiritual potential made it superior to countries with
communist values. Additionally their call to action in their letter, named the importance
of blending personal and public lives, specifically spiritual beliefs into their political
work as a lawyer. Murray alluded to Barlow’s active role at St. Mark’s and how her
40 Many of the letters outside of the Ghana correspondence had coded names as a means of precaution
during a climate of homophobia.
41 “Correspondence from Ghana,” 1961. MC 412, f 138, PMP.
19
example inspired them. She also connected her religious life to her work life. Barlow
“combinefd] her loyalty to the requirements of her career with the requirements of her
religious commitment,” and often greeted coworkers with Christian greetings like “God
bless.”42 Whether in her personal or public life Barlow centered the Episcopalian faith.
Murray wanted to center their faith more in their public life.
Murray also describes a vision of a united Anglican church rooted injustice.
Echoing Murray’s call to for a spiritual justice, Barlow mailed Murray a prayer by
Stephen Vincent Benet.43 Benet’s prayer: “Grant us a common faith that man shall know
bread and peace—that men shall know justice and righteousness, freedom and security;
an equal opportunity and an equal chance to do his best. Not only in our lands—but
throughout the world. And in that faith let us march toward the clean world our hands can
m ake...”44 The couple’s global vision of their faith influenced their work lives—Barlow
at her office and active role at St. Mark’s and Murray’s Civil Rights activism. This
universal Christian fellowship was central to Barlow and Murray’s vision of the Anglican
Church.
While Murray came back to the States in 1961, they soon left New York to
advance their education at Yale University in Connecticut. Barlow stayed in NYC to take
care of her mother. The couple’s letters helped them stay connected. Barlow also bought
Murray a St. Christopher medal from the Vatican and it soon became one of Murray’s
42 “Peter M. Ward Memorial Speech,” 1973. MC 412 f 161, PMP.
43 “Prayer,” 1968-1972. MC 412, f 139, PMP.
44 Ibid.
20
most prized possessions.45 St. Christopher is the patron saint of travelers and many
Christians pray to him for protection on their journeys. Although the two lived apart for
nearly a decade, they visited each other often and their Christian faith grounded them
across distance. In Murray’s words, “The bond deepened over the sixteen years I knew
and worked with Renee within the Episcopal Church. It helped to reinforce our faith as
we struggled in the 1960s to express the full personhood of women in our religious
communion and felt the pain, and often the rage, of rejection at the deepest levels of our
being.”46 Not only were they dealing with racism in their parish, but they were also
dealing with sexism as well. Though despite the tension between the institution of the
Episcopalian church and them as individuals, they each remained devout in their faith,
Barlow in particular. Her devotion and active role at St. Mark’s led the Right Reverend
John E. Hine, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, to appoint her to the Church’s
Executive Council on May 1, 1967 47 The Executive Council consists of elected members
from Episcopal parishes throughout the United States and reports and records church
affairs.48 Barlow’s appointment to this prestigious position shows just how active she was
in the church.
But unfortunately, the same year Barlow accepted this new role, doctors
diagnosed her with cancer. Because cancer ran in her family (two sisters had died from
45 “For Those Who Loved Irene Barlow,” 1960-1967. MC 412, f 138, PMP.
46 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 316-317.
47 Presiding Bishop is the appointed bishop in the United States of the Anglican Church. “Executive
Council,” 1967. MC 412, f 161, PMP. Article used as reference for eulogy.
48 The General Convention, http://www.generalconvention.org/ec (accessed September 10,2016).
21
it), she knew the likelihood of her surviving was low. Barlow and Murray used every
effort to ensure the news of the illness did not become public until it was absolutely
necessary, because of the stigma of cancer. Additionally the couple worried about
Barlow’s mother discovering she was ill.49 Barlow’s mother depended on her and the
stress of this responsibility forced the couple to keep quiet and lie about her treatments at
the hospital. Ultimately, the treatments were successful and she had a 5-year remission
after her mastectomy in 1967. Murray described Barlow’s behavior during her remission
years as, “Underneath her lighthearted banter was an urgency to live fully each day
granted to her and a deepening of her natural gift for helping others. She would say, ‘The
time is now,’ and I would find myself caught up in her spirit of celebrating the small
blessings of life in the midst of uncertainty.”50
During these years of remission, there were culture shifts in the U.S. towards
interracial couples and queer people. The year 1967 marked a legally monumental
moment in interracial relationships. The passing of Loving vs. Virginia, legalized
interracial marriages between heterosexual couples in the United States. Additionally,
riots for gay liberation spread across the country, the most famous, Stonewall Rebellion
happened in 1969 in NYC. Religious scholar White interprets historic moments like
Stonewall and others as symbolizes of religious experiences for LGBT people. She states,
“In the Christian terms, that is, the protesting dykes and drag queens were figures of
ritual identification in a narrative about the triumphant overcoming of the despised and
49 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 422.
50 Ibid., 375.
22
the rejected.. .they were Christ-figures whose suffering and triumph could be called by
those who retraced their steps to be reborn into a new identity.”51 White attributes gay
rights activists of the 1960s and 70s religious upbringings as influential for the creation of
an out and proud gay identity. While Murray and Barlow did not disclose their queer
relationship, the societal shifts around them made the possibility of them disclosing more
likely than in the previous decade. Their faith, like many of the founders of gay rights,
strengthened them in their resolve and belief in social change, particularly around race
and gender equity.
Christian Love Says Goodbye
The possibility of Murray and Barlow living openly as a queer interracial couple
become more and more likely during the late 60s and early 70s, which made Barlow’s
relapse even more heartbreaking. Barlow’s health declined in the summer of 1972.
Murray carefully documented Barlow’s relapse in their second memoir. They showed the
role of Christianity in Barlow’s final months and how her critical condition helped them
understand the importance of faith in their partnership. Murray first noticed Barlow
would sleep for most of her visits at their home in Boston.52 They stated, “I knew
something was terribly amiss, but Renee’s casual references gave me no clues. When I
stopped over in New York during the Thanksgiving weekend, I was shocked at the way
51 White, Reforming Sodom, 169.
52 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 420. In 1967 Murray accepted a teaching position at Brandeis
University near Boston.
23
she looked.”53 Murray knew that Barlow’s fatigue and physical appearance were
indicators of a larger health issue and they made plans to come to New York to care for
Barlow after their semester finished at Brandeis.
Shortly after they came to New York, Barlow checked into the Harkness Pavilion
at Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center. Murray recalled, “I was aghast when I arrived
and saw her condition. Her right side was partially paralyzed and her right arm and hand
were useless.. .Renee was suffering from a brain tumor.”54 The doctors suggested cobalt
treatments to which Barlow responded, “I’ve had a good life, and I don’t know whether
I’ve got what it takes to fight this thing.”55 Murray responded to Barlow that she should
fight because, “I told her I didn’t think God intended human beings to be resigned to their
fate until they had made every effort, but that when they had done their best, they could
leave the outcome to God.”56 Treatments began on January 22,1973, Barlow’s birthday,
and went relatively well until February 5, 1973.
It was around this time that cards, telegrams and flowers began flooding Barlow’s
hospital room. Murray explained, “I was overwhelmed by the great outpouring of love
and gratitude in letters, telegrams, and telephone calls, all the more poignant because
Renee was unaware of the enormous response to her lifetime of ministering to the needs
of countless others.”57 Barlow’s ministry of charity returned to her ten fold. There were
53 Ibid.
54 Ibid., 421.
55 Ibid., 422.
56 Ibid.
57 Ibid., 423.
24
several telegrams from friend Lois, “Dearest Rene, dear Luv...I would like to call you
every day but feel your time is better spent in resting.”58 And there were more religious
cards like one from friends Jean and Jim, “HE IS WITH YOU TODAY.. .JUST AS HE
HAS BEEN ALL ALONG. Our prayers are with you for full recovery!”— with a picture
of Jesus on the front of the card.59 The letters varied in style but the message of
appreciation for Barlow was clear—her kindness touched the lives of the people around
her, especially Murray.
Murray knew Barlow’s condition worsened by the day, and struggled to accept
her impending death. They explained, “Part of me carried on a dialogue with God
alternately praying, ‘Thy will be done,’ and arguing angrily, ‘It isn’t fair, Lord’...I found
myself speaking of the decision she was making with God; that if she went on she would
be with all those loved ones who had gone before her; that if she decided to stay with us
we would be with her all the way.”60 Their conversation with God reflected a larger
conflict in their life—the fear of death. Murray declared, “I had always been terrified of
death and had avoided funerals as much as possible. Now I had to watch death
approaching my closest friend, and I could no longer avoid pondering the ultimate
mystery of life.”61 Barlow’s deteriorating health, forced Murray to think about not only
losing their best friend, but also about their own mortality. It was during this struggle that
they found comfort in an unlikely person.
58 “Get Well,” 1973. MC 412, f 149, PMP.
59 Ibid.
60 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 423-424.
61 Ibid., 424.
25
An old classmate from their undergraduate studies at Hunter College in New
York, Lula Burton Bramwell, underwent cancer treatments in a facility near ColumbiaPresbyterian Medical Center. Murray reached out to Bramwell, and her physician sister,
Gerry, offered perspective and support. Murray stated, “Gerry explained each person who
is ill has a lifeline and lining to that lifeline could go on indefinitely. She thought I might
be Renee’s lifeline, and that I had to decide whether I could let her linger in the condition
she was now in. Only I could decide that question.”62 Murray took to heart this advice
and upon their visit with Barlow that evening they let her go. They described how “Renee
grew restless. Her head tossed, her breath came in gasps, and her moans made me cry out
silently, ‘Take her, God, I can’t bear to see her suffer this way.’” Murray’s acceptance
of Barlow’s fate was an act of faith for them, because they believed they surrendered to
God’s will. Murray reflected in a diary entry regarding Barlow’s passing, “I must accept
the fact that it was God’s plan (and ultimately R’s choice) for her to rest.”64
Christianity strengthened the couple throughout their 17-year partnership and
comforted them during their final goodbye. They stated, “No priest was available, so I
stood by her bed reading the Twenty-third Psalm, and when I finished I kissed her
goodbye and said, ‘Rest.’”65 The earthly spiritual bond started with Barlow quoting from
the Book of Common Prayer: “The blessed company of all faithful people,”66 and ended
62 Ibid.
63 Ibid.
64 “Diary,” lune 24, 1973. MC 412, f 31, PMP.
65 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 424.
66 Ibid., 316.
26
with Murray reading from the Bible: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.” The two began and ended their relationship with religion. The couple’s
faith offered them the opportunity to express their commitment to one another through
their spiritual beliefs. While Cold War surveillance of queers and leftists prevented the
couple from openly expressing the romantic nature of their relationship, they navigated
society through their Episcopal faith to express their shared commitment to one another.
67 Ps. 23:4 KJV
27
Chapter 2: Remembering Renee
On February 21, 1973, Barlow passed away at 10am in the ColumbiaPresbyterian Medical Center. Murray had spent the month by her bedside, consoling and
praying with her. Before Barlow died, Murray described how “time hung like an eternity
in the hours before her death; everything in my private world was waiting. Only after the
hospital called, and I knew that her heart had stopped beating, time began to move
again.”68 Upon hearing the news of Barlow’s passing, Murray began the process of
publicly grieving, honoring and remembering their partner. Their first reaction to the
news: “I felt a flood of relief and joy that she was at last released from pain. Although it
was bitterly cold outside, I opened all the windows of her apartment to let fresh air blow
through, and put on her favorite record— Schumann’s Piano Concerto in A Minor—in
celebration of the passing of a beautiful spirit.”69 This would be the first of many ways
Murray honored Barlow’s spirit. Ultimately, Murray’s believing they surrendered to
God’s plan, helped them celebrate the life of Barlow. Her death not only strengthened
their faith, but also gave them the platform to publicly express their love for her. Murray
honored Barlow through funeral and memory booklet tributes, a career change, and
posthumously published memoir.
The Funeral Services
68 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 424-425.
69 Ibid., 425.
28
Murray arranged two Episcopal funeral services for Barlow that honored the
couple’s Christian bond and led to a spiritual career change. Barlow’s commitment to
Christ directly influenced the religiosity of the ceremonies and Murray’s ministry during
this time of mourning. They praised their partner’s faith through the services and took a
lead role in the funeral as “floor manager” and “head of the family.”70 Murray described
the Christian elements of the private ceremony. They stated, “Just above it [coffin] hung
the unadorned Christian Cross, the symbol of our faith, which Renee had followed and
borne to the very end.”71 Barlow’s unwavering faith moved Murray to express their own
faith more openly at the funerals. The first service was private for family members only,
while the second was public and held at Calvary Episcopal Church.
At the second funeral, Murray participated in deacon like roles, such as readings
from the Bible, and preaching from the pulpit. They explained to the congregation the
spiritual dimensions of their partnership with Barlow. Murray stated, “Please forgive me
if I was harsh over the telephone to many of you.. .what you could not know was the
impact of her passing on me. You had lost a friend...I had lost a spiritual mate.”72 Barlow
was the person Murray processed their spiritual quandaries with—from politics, to law, to
family—Barlow enriched Murray’s Episcopalian faith. Now that she was physically
gone, their connection would be solely spiritual. For example, Barlow’s presence
strengthened and guided Murray in the funeral preparations. They stated, “In those first
70 Ibid.
71 “For Those Who Loved IB,” 3/6/73-3/13/73. MC 412, f 167, PMP.
72 Ibid.
29
few days after her death, I would say aloud, ‘Renee, is this the way you would do
this?’”73 Murray’s sense of spiritual connection to the dead derived from their
experiences of losing their parents as a child. They explained, “Since I lost both parents
when I was comparatively young, I have always felt a spiritual tug toward those who are
departed.”74 Thus, Murray’s sense of spiritual ties to deceased loved ones shaped their
grieving process towards Barlow.
Ultimately, it was in death that Murray could express the importance of the
relationship publicly. Murray posted an obituary in The New York Times’’ asking for
written memories of Barlow’s life for booklet. At Barlow’s funeral Murray explained:
It occurred to me (as a writer) that the working out of one’s grief in words of love
can serve two purposes: the easing of the loss, and reconstructing fondest
memories of Irene/Renee Barlow.. .the Memory Book will go to the Women’s
Archives, Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe College...In time, I hope that Renee’s
private papers and correspondence will also go there. So bear in mind, as you
write, that you are contributing to the history of women in the USA, when you
record your personal memorials. There is no time limit.. .write as the spirit moves
you.75
Murray desired to record Barlow’s life and published this intention in a widely read
newspaper. Historian Darlene O’Dell’s details how, “The forum where [Murray] did
manage to give official validity to their relationships occurred in the rituals reenacted and
the documents produced in the process of death and burial, returning us to the
73 Ibid.
74 Ibid.
75 “IB drafts for letters and statements,” February-March 1973. MC 412, f 181, PMP.
30
construction of death as a site of identity expression.”76 The documents of being power of
attorney and their shared family plot affirmed the importance of Murray and Barlow’s
relationship. Murray explained to the congregation, “Renee’s urn, the kind she might
have chosen, will ultimately rest in a jointly owned ‘family plot’... Jackie Robinson is
also buried in Cypress Hills—it is one of the truly integrated cemetery plots in the New
York City metropolitan area.”77 Murray’s use of language of family, while not directly
naming the romantic nature of the relationship, still indicated the significance of this
queer interracial pair as chosen family. Thus Barlow’s death represented a site of identity
formation for them as a couple and for Murray as a Christian, through their practice of
Episcopalian funeral rituals.
Additionally, the funeral served as the opportunity for Murray to practice deacon
roles, inspiring the Reverend Tom Pike of Calvary Episcopal Church to ask them a lifechanging question. Murray recalled, “When it was all over, Tom Pike commended me on
a beautiful service. I was astonished when he added, ‘You may not have realized it, but
you have been acting as an enabler, a function of a deacon in our church. Have you ever
though of ordination?”78 For the past month Murray acted as a minister to Barlow at her
deathbed and to Barlow’s loved ones at the funeral services.79 They reflected on their
drive back to Brandeis University on the experiences of Barlow’s passing. They
explained, “Late that afternoon as I drove back to Boston thinking of Tom Pike’s words,
76 O’Dell. Sites o f Southern Memory, 148.
77 Ibid.
78 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 425.
79 Ibid.
31
an exquisite sunset of gold, blue, pink and aqua filled the western sky. It was as if
Renee’s spirit was smiling in approval as she bade me farewell.”80
Renee’s Memory Booklet
The year following Barlow’s passing, consisted of Murray grieving through
gathering material for a booklet to honor Barlow’s life and also preparing for a career
change from professor to priest. Based on their sermon and obituary in the New York
Times, they received memories from Barlow’s loved ones and found the common themes
of kindness, compassion and helpful spirit. Many of the letters spoke of Barlow’s
Episcopal faith and her sense of humor. Murray did not use every piece submitted, but
decided to print three funeral speeches from 1973. They also wrote a piece entitled “A
Christian Friendship,” to encompass the impact Barlow had on their life and the lives of
the people she loved.
In the beginning of the memory booklet, they enclosed a quote on unconditional
love and acceptance by George Elliot: “Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible
comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure
words but pouring all right out just as they are.”81 After the quote are Christian prayers
and songs from the 1973 service, followed by the speeches. Lloyd K. Garrison, former
boss at the law firm the couple met at, reflected on Barlow’s life: “She was, I think, the
most selfless person I have ever known... Whatever the hour of the day or night, she
80 Ibid.
81 “Memorial Booklet,” 1973-1974. MC 412, f 171, PMP.
32
helped countless people with their problems and their personal difficulties. This was the
true work of her life.” Barlow’s Christian charity as the center of her life’s work
inspired those around her, including Murray.
In Murray’s piece, they explained how they were one of many “blessed by Irene
Barlow’s lovingkindness.”83 They continued, “Renee Barlow, who faced her death as she
had lived her life— serene, loving, and utterly trusting in God.. .It is the example of this
Christian life and witness which has impelled me to try and carry forward her ministry to
others as a fitting memorial to one whose candle in the darkness threw a warm beam of
light to all of us who loved her.”84 Murray’s speech explained how Barlow’s death led to
their desire to live her ministry of lovingkindness and Christian charity through the role
of the priesthood. During this year of composing the memory booklet, Murray finished
their year of teaching at Brandeis and applied for a Master of Divinity at the General
Theological Seminary in New York City.
From Professor to Priest
Murray argued it was part of God’s plan for them to change careers. They
declared, “I must not forget that my decision to dedicate the rest of my life to ministry to
the human spirit is not so much the outcome of grief but the triumph of the gift of love
between two people—that what was worthwhile in their relationship was strong enough
82 “Eulogy by Llyod K. Garrison,” 1973. MC 412, f 171, PMP.
83 “A Christian Friendship,” 1974, MC 412, f 171, PMP.
84 Ibid.
33
to surmount separation... to express itself in deepening love and service in God’s plan.”85
Murray believed their journey of the priesthood would unite them and Barlow while
serving a higher power. They explained, “I try to believe that R- and I are not separated
and that we are embraced in the all-inclusive spirit of God.”86 God’s will and spirit
connected the couple even after Barlow’s passing. In addition to following God’s plan,
the space of the church itself, connected Murray to Barlow. They stated, “Perhaps in
many ways I feel closest to R-when I am in and about the Church and devotional
services. There is no ‘empty chair,’ for the sense of the spirit invokes a sense of presence,
whether the ‘presence’ is within me or outside and around me, I do not know.”87 Murray
felt Barlow’s presence most intensely in the church and becoming a priest would situate
them in church spaces.
Murray believed their decision to become an Episcopalian priest kept Barlow’s
memory alive. They explained, “From its beginnings, our friendship had centered around
the church, and it was in the church that I had found the comforting belief that the living
and the dead are bound together in the “communion of saints.”88 O’Dell states, “In the
case of Murray how [they] chose to live [their] life after the death of Barlow, speaks to
the level of commitment they each felt in their relationships... At the death of Renee
Barlow, Murray lived a tribute to her by changing careers in her honor and creating
85 “Diary Entry,” June 24, 1973. MC 412, f 31, PMP.
86 “Diary Entry,” July 28, 1973. MC 412, f 31, PMP.
87 “Diary Entry,” July 11, 1973. MC 412, f 31, PMP.
88 Ibid., 426.
34
another site of memory within the boundaries of [their] own body.”89 The act of Murray
changing careers was a public statement on their body of not only their religious devotion
as a Christian, but also their commitment to their partner.
In addition to their decision to become a priest, the way in which they practiced
their ministry reflected their love for Barlow. Journalist Eleanor Blau published a piece in
the New York Times entitled “63 and an Activist, [They Hope] to Become an Episcopal
Priest.” Blau explained Murray decided to become a priest because of the death of loved
ones. Murray underlined the sections regarding Barlow in the article:
[Deaths] included [their] best friend, Irene Barlow, who gave Dr. Murray power
of attorney when she was afflicted with a brain tumor. While handling Miss
Barlow’s affairs, Dr. Murray began to discover a great many ways in which
[their] friend had quietly helped people. “I thought I knew her but I didn’t really
begin to now her till I had to pick up the pieces,” Dr. Murray said.. .The two
friends had long been active in the Episcopal church and Dr. Murray had been
involved in the drive for women’s equality in the church since 1969.90
Murray continued Barlow’s legacy of Christian charity through their approaches to the
priesthood. Blau wrote, “Dr. Murray regards [their] move as a logical extension of [their]
activist temperament. ‘I want to be a positive force for reconciliation both in terms of
race and in terms of sex,’ [they] said.”91 They desired to focus on reconciliation as a core
part of their ministry, because they argued a mindset of reconciliation would inform
liberation practices. Murray stated, “There is a need for people who are as concerned
about reconciliation as they are liberation from racism or from sexism and one's concern
89 O’Dell, Sites o f Southern Memory, 148-149.
90 “Newspaper Clip,” February 11, 1974. M C412, f 182, PMP.
91 Ibid.
35
about reconciliation will affect the quality and the way in which one approaches the
problem of liberation. This is where I am today.”92
This belief in reconciliation through the priesthood connected to the partnership
with Barlow, because they argued their relationship with Barlow transformed their ideas
on difference. They stated, “As I came to know Renee, our association lifted me beyond
my narrow parochial concerns to a broader understanding of the human condition. Beset
with problems of race and color all my life, I had no idea until I heard her story that a
white Anglo-Saxon Protestant child might grow up in the United States feeling an
‘outsider.’” Murray described how their relationship with Barlow shifted their
perceptions on growth and purpose. They explained, “Although Renee and I were very
different in background and personality, in our approach to situations, and in many of our
interests, the chemistry of our friendship produced sparks of sheer joy. Our common
search for truth and knowledge often ended in hilarity or in spirited discourse, often in the
discomfiture of mutual growth.”94 They took the lessons they learned with Barlow and
applied them to their Episcopal practice.
In 1977, the Episcopal Church ordained Murray as a priest. In a sermon entitled
“Healing and Reconciliation” they described how they lived a life filled with
contradictions and ultimately found their peace in Christianity.95 Murray deconstructed
92 McNeil Oral History Interview, http://docsouth.unc.edu/sohp/G-0044/menu.html (accessed March 15,
2016).
93 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 315.
94 Ibid., 316.
95 Pinn, Pauli Murray, 87.
36
binaries while acknowledging the cultural and time specific significance of identities.
Their sermon echoed a familiar sentiment of unconditional love and acceptance, which
they found with Barlow. In their first eulogy draft, Murray recorded, “In short, Renee
would not want you to ‘deify’ her, but to record her in all of her humorous, absurd,
loving, joyous moods. Moreover, she would accept you whether you were green, pink,
Oriental, European, African, ‘straight or gay’, or ‘mixie’ like me— a combination of the
three great races of man-and-woman-kind.”96 Barlow’s total acceptance of Murray’s
complexities strengthened their resolve for a world of reconciliation. Additionally
Barlow’s acceptance of Murray as a mixed person also translated into their gender
fluidity. Many of Murray’s sermons described a gender-neutral deity and also depicted a
world where the gender binary did not hold weight. In “Healing and Reconciliation,” they
stated how their faith helped them see there is, “no Male or Female,” for them as a
Christian, “There is only Christ, the Spirit of Love and reconciliation, the healer of deep
psychic wounds.”97 Murray used their role as a priest to not only honor their partner, but
to also express their gender and racial ambiguity.
Murray using their faith to express their gender and sexuality happened during a
homophobic shift in mainstream Protestant churches. The 1970s marked a historic period
of change for LGBT people. During this decade both people on the Right and on the Left
used an unchanging homophobic church narrative to justify their either support or hate
towards the gay community. Historian White explains how the gay community needed an
96 “To Those Who Loved IB,” March 7, 1973. MC 412, f 167, PMP.
97 Pinn, Pauli Murray, 87.
37
opposing force to create pride. Gay identity needed an antithesis and Christian campaigns
emerging, like Save Our Children in the late 1970s, were the foil to form an identity
outside of a hateful rhetoric. The Save Our Children campaign in 1977, led by gospel
singer Anita Bryant, targeted gays and lesbians as threats to the safety of children in a
Florida community. Making pride narratives in opposition to accusations of pedophilia by
Christian religious leaders, created an anti-thesis towards churches in the 1970s. Thus
Murray expressing their love for their queer partner and gender nonconformity happened
during a time of hostility towards queers in Protestant parishes.
Remembering Through Memoir
But Murray led a life of challenging mainstream normative narratives, and the
final way they publically honored their Barlow was through memoir in the 1980s.
Releasing a memoir honoring their queer partner echoed a familiar decision they made in
a repressive decade, the 1950s, when they released their first memoir, Proud Shoes.
Historian Drury explains how Murray covertly honored their lovers through their writing.
She states: Not surprisingly, the fredom to find love is central to the meaning of freedom
in Proud Shoes.. .As [they] wrote to Peg in a letter in the early 1970s, it was she who
prompted a passage in the book on freedom as the opportunity to embark on what Murray
called an “unending quest for loved ones.”98 Peg, is Peggie Holmes, their first recorded
98 Drury “Love, Ambition, and ‘Invisible Footnotes,’ 69-81, 79.
38
love and heartbreak in i937. Murray subversively honored Holmes in 1956 and in 1987,
posthumously honored Barlow.
In Song in a Weary Throat, Murray documented how they met Barlow and how
Christianity connected them during a time period of anti-miscegenation. Murray
documented the origins of their relationship: meeting at Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton &
Garrison law firm, practicing their faith together, supporting Barlow with cancer, and
saying goodbye to her ultimately leading to their work as a Christian minister. Though
Murray used coded language like “best friend,” “close friend,” or “dearest friend,” the
importance and life changing nature of the relationship was clear. Their last two chapters
are named after their relationship with Barlow, entitled, “Death of a Friend,” and “Full
Circle.” In “Death of a Friend,” Murray documented Barlow’s battle with cancer and
subsequent death. And in “Full Circle,” Murray explained how and why Barlow’s death
led them to the career change from professor to priest. They stated, “Renee’s death
changed my life. It was more than a loss of a close friend. In Renee’s dying hours I had
come face to face with my own mortality. I felt an urgency to complete my mission on
earth in the days left to m e.. .1 had been called upon to be with a devout Christian whom I
loved in the crisis of death and to minister in ways I associated only with the ordained
clergy.”99
What is significant about Murray’s memoir is it is a permanent and public
testament honoring their queer interracial relationship. While not directly naming the
99 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 426.
39
romantic element of their relationship, they still showed how strong their love was and
how their relationship was part of a God’s plan. Murray used their faith within their
memoir to explain the impact Barlow’s death had on their life. Ultimately, through
funeral and memorial tributes, a career change and a memoir, Murray centered
Christianity as a way to publically honor the life of Barlow and the importance of their
17-year partnership. They did these tributes during the beginning stages of a changing
Episcopal church towards LGBT people, which made the act of doing these queer
Christian actions more subversive than in previous decades.
40
Conclusion
In a “Christian Friendship,” Murray declared, “As one of the many friends blessed
by Irene Barlow’s loving kindness, I was given both the high privilege—and the pain—
of a Christian partnership of nearly seventeen years in which two independent spirits
meshed when necessary and disengaged when it no longer crucial to act as a unit.”100
While Cold War surveillance undoubtedly hindered Murray’s ability to directly express
their queerness, Murray used the Episcopal faith to declare their commitment to Barlow,
even if under the guise of a platonic Christian friendship. The couple embraced their faith
as the means to forged a relationship in a hostile climate for queers and interracial
couples. After Barlow died, Murray creatively used Christianity to create tributes for her,
whether through services, writings, or even a lived representation within their own body
as a priest. Their story complicates dominant homophobic narratives of Christian
churches in the twenty-first century. Additionally, this queer interracial couple loved each
other during a legal cultural shift for interracial couples. Murray and Barlow’s story has
striking similarities to Mildred and Richard Loving, the couple whose case legalized
interracial marriages in 1967.1 draw parallels between these couples and ask questions
about contemporary understandings of Christianity and LGBT people, and interracial and
gay marriage.
Summary
100 “Memorial Booklet,” 1973-1974. MC 412, f 171, PMP.
41
Chapter 1, “Christian Love During the Cold War,” explained how Murray and
Barlow bonded over their shared Episcopalian faith and the strength it gave them in a
Cold War climate of homophobia and anti-miscegenation. I discussed how Murray and
Barlow used church as a means of intimacy and relationship formation. I then examined
how new interpretations and biblical editions impacted the attitudes in parishes about
LGBT people. I explained that while homophobia permeated the larger society, parishes
rarely discussed homosexuality in the 1950s. However, the interracial couple faced anti­
race mixing attitudes in their church, St. Mark’s in the Bowerie. These anti­
miscegenation attitudes slowly shifted in the 1960s, but still impacted Barlow and
Murray.
I then traced the long distance relationship, starting with Murray’s position at
Ghana Law School and ending with Brandeis University. The couple kept connected
through their faith and letters filled with Christian affirmations. While Murray traveled,
Barlow remained in NYC and built a life in the church, so much so, she was appointed a
prestigious Executive Council position in the Episcopal Church. Barlow’s life as a devout
Episcopalian served as an example for Murray. I described how Barlow’s cancer
diagnosis would be the final test for the couple’s faith. While it had the potential to break
their faith, it actually strengthened it and their bond as a couple. This diagnosis caused
them to live more fully in the present for Barlow’s five years of remission, because the
couple understood the transitory nature of their time together. During Barlow’s
42
remission, historic moments for interracial couples and LGBT people happened in the
late 1960s and I situated Murray and Barlow within this history.
I then explained how when Barlow’s cancer returned, she wanted to surrender to
God’s will, but Murray pleaded with her to continue to fight it. After only a few weeks of
treatment though, Barlow’s health severely declined to the point that Murray knew she
would not recover. This final test of faith ended with Murray performing the last rites for
Barlow, allowing her to pass away in peace. Their spiritual surrender strengthened their
faith. Murray let go of their will, and accepted Barlow’s death. Chapter 1 traced the
religious bond between the couple and supported the larger argument, that Christianity
founded this queer interracial relationship.
Chapter 2, “Remembering Renee,” detailed how Murray honored Barlow’s
memory through the Episcopal faith, which not only enriched their practice but also
acknowledged the significance of the couple’s relationship. I examined how Murray used
the site of the funeral to explain to congregations the bond of the Christian faith between
the two. They performed church rituals such as preaching from the pulpit in which they
proclaimed their commitment to Barlow. Murray’s practice inspired Pastor Tom Pike to
ask them if they considered the priesthood as a potential path. In addition to the funeral,
the memory book tributes were also sites of Episcopalian expression. The booklet
showed how Barlow’s faith, and life example of kindness and ministry, impacted those
around her. Additionally Murray explained in the booklet how Pike’s question and
Barlow’s example inspired them to change careers from professor to priest.
43
Murray’s decision to become a priest, to honor Barlow’s Christian legacy,
memorialized their partner within their own body. Because they felt closest to Barlow in
church, they chose a career, which would put them in the space they felt most connected
with her. They quit their job as a tenured law professor at Brandeis University and to
keep Barlow’s memory alive through the church. Murray wanted to honor Barlow’s spirit
of giving through their ministry, particularly of comforting the sick and dying. Murray
practiced their priesthood duties in direct relation to the memory of Barlow. They
incorporated her kindness, helpful spirit, and the lessons of reconciliation they learned
from their interracial relationship. Murray’s experiences as a gender nonconforming,
mixed race person, were sources of tension throughout their life. They found solace in
their relationship with Barlow and in Christianity, which shaped their perspectives on
reconciliation across differences. They illustrated this perspective in their sermon entitled
“Healing and Reconciliation” and in their memoir.
Along with the funeral, memory booklet and priesthood tributes, Murray was a
writer and used the medium of memoir to show how their relationship helped them grow
as a person and as a Christian. The significance of Murray publishing a memoir with
chapters of the book dedicated to Barlow is important when put into the context of the
Cold War. Murray’s organizing in the Communist Party in the 1930s and as a civil rights
lawyer from the 1940s-70s, led to an FBI file, which on record targeted them for their
queemess. Their Blackness and former communist affiliations made them more
vulnerable as a queer person. Hence, the government watched them for all three facets of
44
their life, with an emphasis on their queemess because of the firing practices of the
Lavender Scare. While Christian churches in the 1950s and 60s did not uniformly
condemn LGBT people, churches in the 1970s and 80s changed teachings on LGBT
people due to the gay rights movement and the Rise of the Right. Both liberals and
conservatives used a narrative of an unchanging homophobic Christian past to push their
politics, with queer Christians lost in the crossfire. Thus Murray expressing their gender
and sexuality through the vehicle of the Anglican Church in the 1970s and 80s is
subversive for these specific decades. Chapter 2 unpacked how Murray utilized their
Episcopal faith to pay tribute to Barlow, which consequently strengthened their faith and
reaffirmed how Christianity united them as a couple.
Implications
Condemnation, disownment and abandonment often plague contemporary stories
of the relationship between LGBT people and Christian institutions. White’s research
challenges an unchanging church narrative that both anti-LGBT Christians and queer
people invoke. Murray and Barlow complicate the idea of a stagnant homophobic
religion because they illustrate how LGBT Christians historically navigated religious
institutions to create queer intimacies. The couple’s queer interracial relationship rooted
in Christianity is one of many stories of queer people of faith making sense of their lives.
The couple bonded over Christianity to form a relationship during a time period of hyper­
surveillance of queers and interracial couples. After Barlow died, Murray utilized religion
to publically show the importance of their partnership. Christianity united the couple
45
across their differences and even transcended Barlow’s death. This story has implications
for present day understandings of the relationship between LGBT people and
Christianity. Deconstructing how interpretations of gender and sexuality change over
time within Christian institutions destabilizes myths of unchanging homophobic religions
and asks for a more complex read of the history of queers and faith.
Their story parallels Mildred and Richard Loving, a straight interracial couple,
whose case overturned anti-miscegenation laws throughout the country. In 1958, the
Loving’s married in Washington, D.C. Police arrested them shortly after in their home in
Virginia—Mildred was Black and Native American and Richard was white. The
Loving’s moved to D.C. for four years, during this time, Mildred wrote to the Attorney
General Robert Kennedy about her marriage, imprisonment and forced state exile.101
Kennedy redirected her letter to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). Their case
would go to the federal level, and in 1967 Loving v. Virginia legalized interracial
marriages in the United States.102 The Loving’s case embodied the level of hatred and
fear towards interracial couples during the 1950s and 60s. Barlow and Murray, a queer
interracial couple, together during the same time period, navigated the added layer of
homophobia. Murray like Mildred was Black and Native American, Renee like Richard
was white. Both couples committed to one another in the late 1950s, and both had life
changing experiences in 1967. Renee died of cancer in 1973, and Richard died in a car
101 Peter Wallenstein, Tell the Court I Love My Wife: Race, Marriage and Law—An American History.
(New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 2002), 217.
102 Wallenstein, Tell the Court I Love My Wife, 248.
46
accident in 1975. Both Murray and Mildred never remarried and spent the remaining
decades of their life honoring their partner.103
Many contemporary gay rights activists compare the fight for gay marriage to the
fight for interracial marriage. However, literary scholar Siobhan Somerville challenges
these comparisons and argues that Loving v. Virginia passed in order to bolster
homophobic legislation, Boutilier v. Immigration Services (1967).104 The Boutilier case
barred gay people from immigrating to the U.S. in the name of Cold War national
security. The 1950s obsession with the white nuclear family, and the conflation of
communists and queers, permeated into the 1960s. Somerville explains, “It makes it
particularly ironic that Loving is currently read as the precursor to gay and lesbian
rights...for Loving also simultaneously consolidated heterosexuality as a prerequisite for
state recognition and the rights of citizenship.”105 Ultimately, organizations choose cases
that fit closest to an era’s definition of normalcy and justice. This is why Murray and
Barlow would not come forward with a case, even though Murray served on the ACLU’s
national board from 1965-1973.106 While the ACLU now recognizes Murray’s
contributions to legal reforms in the U.S., in the 1960s, as a trans masculine person of
103 Maria Root, Love’s Revolution: Interracial Marriage (Philadelphia: Temple Press University, 2001).
104 David L. Eng, The Feeling o f Kinship: Queer Liberalism and the Racialization o f Intimacy. (Durham:
Duke University Press, 2010), 37-38
105 Eng, The Feeling o f Kinship, 38.
106 Murray, Song in a Weary Throat, 363.
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color married to a white woman—their love story was far from the normative case that
the ACLU would have taken to argue for interracial intimacy.107
Despite the ironies and the injustices Murray and Barlow experienced, they still
managed to create a life together filled with love grounded in their faith. When Murray
met Barlow in 1956, they knew immediately there was a spiritual connection. Their
relationship began with a quote from the Book of Common Prayer and ended with a
reading from the Bible. And after Barlow died of cancer, Murray spent the rest of their
life paying tribute to their partner. The couple’s shared family plot is in Brooklyn in an
integrated cemetery. Murray grew up in Durham, North Carolina. Behind their childhood
home is a white’s only cemetery.108 Today Murray rests side by side with Barlow. This
queer interracial couple creatively used Christianity to love one another. Murray and
Barlow’s relationship is important for nuanced understandings of how queer, interracial
and Christian intimacies have the potential to form powerful connections across
difference.
107 Root, L ove’s Revolution, 138; ACLU, “Tribute: The Legacy of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and WRP Staff,”
https://www.aclu.org/other/tribute-legacy-ruth-bader-ginsburg-and-wrp-staff (accessed September 21,
2016).
108 While visiting the Pauli Murray Project in the summer of 2015,1 learned from the director, Barbara Lau,
that the cemetery behind the house is still white’s only. Growing up, Murray had to provide entitled
families flowers and other things, for a cemetery they could not be buried in. Sharing a family plot with
Barlow, as both a queer and interracial couple, is all the more significant when put into the context of their
childhood.