Chapter 05

Chapter 05
Planning, Composing,
and Revising
ƒ Good Writers ƒ Ten Ways to Make
ƒ Composing
Writing Easier to Read
Activities
ƒ Revise, Edit, and
ƒ Half-Truths
Proofread
5-1
Ways Good Writers Write
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
Revise first drafts
Write regularly
Break big jobs into small chunks
Focus on purpose, audience
Choose from several different strategies
Use rules flexibly
Finish a draft before editing text
5-2
Basic Composing Activities: Planning
ƒ Analyze problem, define
purposes, analyze audiences
ƒ Brainstorm information to
include
ƒ Gather information
ƒ Select the points you want to
make
ƒ Choose organization pattern
5-3
Basic Composing Activities: Writing
ƒ Put ideas into words on
paper or screen
•
•
•
•
Make a list
Develop headings
Jot notes
Do stream-ofconsciousness writing
• Create drafts
5-4
Basic Composing Activities: Revising
ƒ Evaluate in terms of audience, goals,
and situation
• Will audience understand it?
• Is it complete?
• Is it convincing? Friendly?
ƒ Get feedback from someone else
ƒ Add, delete, substitute, or rearrange
single words or large sections
5-5
Basic Composing Activities: Editing
ƒ Focus on surface of message
• Standard English
ƒ Grammar and spelling
ƒ Capitalization and punctuation
• Business principles
ƒ Build goodwill
ƒ Use conventional format
ƒ Proofread; correct typographical errors
5-6
More About Composing Activities
ƒ Don’t have to do in specific order
ƒ Don’t have to finish one to start another
ƒ Don’t have to use all activities for every
message
5-7
Half-Truths about Style
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Write as you talk
Never use I
1/2
Never use You
Never begin sentence with And or But
Never end sentence with preposition
Big words impress people
Never use sentences with more than 20
words, or paragraphs with more than 8
lines
5-8
Write as You Talk: Yes . . . But
ƒ Yes
• Do it for first draft
• Read draft aloud to test
ƒ But
• Expect awkward, repetitive, badly organized
prose
• Plan to revise and edit
5-9
Never Use I: Yes . . . But
ƒ Yes
• I can make writing seem self-centered
• I can make ideas seem tentative
ƒ But
• Use I to tell what you did, said, saw—it’s
smoother
5-10
Never Use You: Yes . . . But
ƒ Yes
• Writing to familiar audiences
• Describing audience benefits
• Writing sales text
ƒ But
• Avoid in formal reports or other situations
where formality is required
• Negative news: Don’t connect the reader.
5-11
Never Begin Sentence with And or
But
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
And may make idea seem like afterthought
And gives effect of natural speech
But serves as a signpost, signals a shift
But can make writing smoother
5-12
Never End a Sentence with a
Preposition: Yes . . . But
ƒ Yes
• A preposition may not be worth
emphasizing this way
• Readers expect something to follow a
preposition
• Avoid in job application letters, reports,
formal presentations
ƒ But
• OK now and then
5-13
Big Words Impress People: Yes . . . But
ƒ Yes
• You may want to show formality or
technical expertise
ƒ But
• Big words distance you from audiences
• Big words may be misunderstood
• Misused words make you look foolish
5-14
Never Use Sentences With More Than
20 Words, or Paragraphs With More
Than 8 Lines
Yes
• Sometimes long sentences and paragraphs
can be difficult to read
ƒ But
• Long sentences with parallel clauses may
be clear
• Longer paragraphs with bulleted lists may
be clear
• Use the expectations of your audience,
context, and purpose
ƒ
5-15
Ten Ways to Make Your Writing
Easy to Read
As you choose words—
1. Use accurate, appropriate, and familiar
words
2. Avoid technical jargon; eliminate
business jargon
5-16
Ten Ways to Make Your Writing
Easy to Read, continued…
As you write and revise sentences—
3. Use active voice most of the time
4. Use verbs—not nouns—to carry weight of
sentence
5. Eliminate wordiness
6. Vary sentence length and structure
7. Use parallel structure
8. Put readers in your sentences
5-17
Ten Ways to Make Your Writing
Easy to Read, continued…
As you write and revise
paragraphs—
9. Begin most with topic sentence
10.Use transitions to link ideas
5-18
1. Use Accurate, Appropriate Words
ƒ Denotation—literal meanings; dictionary
definitions
• Bypassing—two people using same word
to mean different things; causes mix-ups
ƒ Connotation—emotional association;
attitude
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
/
+
nosy / curious
fearful / cautious
obstinate / firm
tax / user fee
5-19
2. Use Familiar Words
ƒ Words most people know
ƒ Words that best convey
your meaning
ƒ Shorter, more common
words
ƒ Specific, concrete words
5-20
2. Use Short, Simple Alternatives
Stuffy
reside
commence
enumerate
finalize
utilize
Simple
live
begin
list
finish, complete
use
5-21
2. Avoid Jargon—Mostly
ƒ Jargon—special terms of
technical field
• Use in job application
letters
• Use when essential and
known to audience
• Replace with plain
English, when possible
5-22
2. Omit Business Jargon & Clichés
ƒ Businessese—needless, old-fashioned
wording, overused tired expressions
Example
Alternative
Enclosed please find
As per your request
I acknowledge receipt of
The undersigned
Here is
As you asked
(begin reply)
Me
5-23
3. Use Active Voice
ƒ Active—subject of sentence does action
the verb describes: Used most in
business writing.
ƒ Passive—subject is acted upon
• Usually includes form of “to be” verb
• Change to active if you can
• Direct object becomes subject
5-24
3. Passive vs. Active Voice
ƒ P:The program will be implemented
by the agencies.
A:The agencies will implement the
program.
ƒ P:These benefits are received by
you.
A:You receive these benefits.
ƒ P:A video was ordered.
A:The customer ordered a video.
5-25
3. Passive vs. Active Voice, continued…
ƒ Active voice is better because—
• Shorter
• Clearer
• More interesting
Passive voice is better to—
ƒ
• Emphasize object receiving action
• Give coherence by repeating
word in previous sentence
• Avoid placing blame
5-26
4. Use verbs: Avoid hidden verbs
Replace this phrase with a verb
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
make an adjustment
make a decision
perform an examination
take into consideration
= adjust
= decide
= examine
= consider
5-27
5. Eliminate Wordiness
ƒ Wordy—idea can be said
in fewer words
ƒ Concise; a mark of good
writing
• Omit words that say nothing
• Combine sentences to save
words
• Put the meaning in subject
and verb
5-28
5. Omit Words that Say Nothing
Cut words if idea is clear without them
ƒ
•
•
. . . period of three months
. . . at the present time
ƒ Replace wordy phrases
Not: Let me know as to whether or not we can start
drilling in view of the fact that the problem has
not been fixed at the present time.
But: Let me know whether we can start drilling
since the problem has not yet been fixed.
5-29
Lard Factor
Thomas Jefferson once observed that “the most
valuable of all talents is that of never using two
words when one will do.”
ƒ
ƒ
Fully 1/3 of a first draft is lard; hence, it can
be cut out.
Fun fact:
•
The Lord’s Prayer contains 66 words, the
Gettysburg Address contains 267 words, but a
recent government regulation on the sale of
cabbage contains 26,911 words.
5-30
5. Combine Sentences to Save Words:
Example
w
• Infante projected sales of $43 million in the
or
dy first quarter. Our actual sales have fallen short
of that figure by $1.9 million.
tig • Although Infante projected first-quarter sales
ht
of $43 million, actual sales are $1.9 million
less than that.
5-31
5. Put Meaning of Sentence in Subject
& Verb: Example
w • The reason we are recommending the
or computerization of this process is because it
dy
will reduce the time required to obtain data and
will give us more accurate data.
tig • Computerizing the process will give us more
ht
accurate data more quickly.
5-32
6. Vary Sentence Length and
Structure
Edit sentences for tightness
Use short sentences when subject matter is
complicated
ƒ Use longer sentences to
• Show how ideas link to each other
• Avoid choppy sentences
• Reduce repetition
ƒ Group words into chunks
ƒ Keep verb close to subject
ƒ
ƒ
5-33
7. Use Parallel Structure: Example
ƒ
During the interview, job candidates will
fa
•
•
•
ul
ty
ƒ
Take a skills test.
The supervisor will interview the prospective employee.
A meeting with recently hired workers will be held.
During the interview, job candidates will
•
pa
ra
lle •
l
•
Take a skills test.
Interview with the supervisor.
Meet with recently hired workers.
5-34
8. Put Readers in Your Sentences:
Example
ƒ An election to name a beneficiary other
than the participant’s spouse must be
made with spousal consent, for any
participant who is married.
ƒ If you are married, you need your
spouse’s consent to name a beneficiary
other than your spouse.
“You” gives the second example more impact
5-35
9. Begin Most Paragraphs with Topic
Sentence
ƒ Unity—discusses one idea; a mark of
good writing
ƒ Topic sentence—states main idea
• Tells what paragraph is about
• Forecasts paragraph’s structure
• Helps readers remember points
5-36
10. Use Transitions to Link Ideas
ƒ Transition—signals the connections
between ideas to the reader
• Tells if next sentence continues or starts new
idea
• Tells if next sentence is more or less
important than previous
• Examples: in addition, similarly,
for example, however, on
the other hand
5-37
Techniques of Emphasis
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
Short, simple sentences
Major idea first (or last)
Active voice
More space
Language that implies importance
Repetition
Mechanical means
Ensure your writing does this appropriately:
Don’t mislead your reader.
5-38
Emphasis—Example A
Dear Dad:
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of
friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my
$tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need,
$o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me
a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
5-39
Emphasis—Example B
Dear Son:
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and
oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even
an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that
the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task,
and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
5-40
Revise, Edit, and Proofread
ƒ Revise – change content, organization,
and tone to satisfy purposes and
audiences
ƒ Edit – change mechanical flaws,
grammar errors
ƒ Proofread – correct typing errors
5-41
When You Revise
ƒ Revise draft three times or
more
1. Content and clarity
2. Organization and layout
3. Tone and style
ƒ Read the document from
start to finish
ƒ Do light revision when time
is short
5-42
When You Edit
ƒ Revise first; then edit
ƒ Edit hard copy, not screen
ƒ Check errors you often make:
•
•
•
•
Sentence structure
Agreement: subj./verb, noun/pro.
Punctuation, numbers
Word usage, spelling
5-43
When You Proofread
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
ƒ
Check with spell checker and by eye
Swap copy with proofing buddy
Read once quickly for meaning
Read again slowly
Trip
• Correct any error; reread that line
• When you know text well—
ƒ Read backward (short)
ƒ Read pages out of order (long)
le-Check
Numbers
Headings
First
Last
Reader’s na
me
5-44
Writing Thought
ƒ “A good writer works hard so that the
reader will not have to.”
Richard Lauchman, Plain Style, 1993
5-45