In Praise of Suffering
Petrea King
I am yet to meet the person that rushes towards suffering with open arms! And yet, those of us
who have been fortunate to suffer often testify to the profound and positive changes that have
occurred – and that probably wouldn’t have – without the suffering.
For more than thirty years, I have been witness to the intimate stories of other people's lives.
Collectively their lives encompass every possible human drama and the emotions they evoke.
People come seeking ways to enhance physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing;
to find peace and establish what is truly meaningful for them. They come because the events in
their lives have caused them to stop in their tracks and ponder the questions:
o
o
o
o
o
Who am I?
What am I doing on the planet?
Am I living the life I came here to live?
If not, why not?
And what am I going to do about it?
These are powerful questions and, for many people, are precipitated by the unexpected events
in their lives. The great opportunity that suffering affords us is – transformation!
Suffering pushes us to explore other ways of seeing the situation we may be in.
In the past dozen years neuroscience has fundamentally changed our understanding of how the
brain works and the contribution it makes to our health and our quality of life. Before this time, it
was widely believed that the brain was hard-wired by our past experiences. Now we know that,
through the brains’ remarkable capacity to be moulded by our experiences, we can train the
brain and in so doing develop a happier outlook on life regardless of the traumas we have
experienced.
Life is full of unexpected events, tragedies and traumas. Our attitude and beliefs dictate how we
deal with such events. The capacities of the human spirit are vast and when harnessed, can
turn obstacles into opportunities. Put simply, the opportunity is transformation. The unexpected
suffering in our lives provides the perfect opportunity to replace self-limiting beliefs that no
longer serve us with a more inspired view of our potential. There’s nothing like suffering as a
stimulus for transformation! So often we are settled in our habitual ways of seeing and doing
things, even when these habits may not bring us happiness. It’s as if we are content with
mediocrity or being only ‘half alive’.
© Petrea King
T: 1300 941 488 or 4883 6599 F: 4883 6632 W: www.questforlife.com.au
Suffering causes us to grow, to stretch ourselves, perhaps to find capacities we didn’t know we
had. It can cause us to reach out for help when our habitual way may have been to resort to a
familiar pattern of, “I do it myself!” It can stimulate us to stop blaming or resenting and take
responsibility for how we choose to embrace our challenge. Suffering may cause us to try new
approaches, new ideas and new ways of doing things.
There are many events in our lives and wider environment that challenge our peace of mind and
our sense of inner stability and happiness. These may be issues in our personal life such as a
disappointment, a relationship breakdown, the diagnosis of serious illness in our selves or a
loved-one or the death of someone dear to us. Such events precipitate us into personal and
sometimes, very private anguish. Our heart may feel like it’s breaking, our mind won’t stop its
incessant chatter, peaceful sleep is elusive, life can feel without meaning and our world shrinks
down into pain and isolation.
People often say, “It is second nature for me to feel this way/think like this/react like this”. We
regularly talk about what is ‘second nature’ to us without ever considering, what is our ‘first
nature’ – our essential nature before we took on the beliefs, the judgments, the attitudes, the
habitual ways of seeing the world and ourselves within it?
Transformation is the process by which we relinquish what has become second nature to
us, so that we reveal, experience and live from our first nature.
My encounter with life-threatening illness gave birth to a peace that I had never expected to
experience though my heart and mind yearned for it. Through long meditation, I finally knew that
peace was not dependent on whether I stayed in a body or not. Peace is always possible when
our sense of self is anchored in our awareness - rather than attaching it to the outer trappings of
a lifetime or even to our physical body. I realised that I am not my body, I have a body; I am not
my brain, I have a brain; I am not my feelings, I have feelings.
Life is full of uncertainties. It presents us with the unexpected, unasked for and sometimes, the
unthinkable. We struggle to understand and accept these events and to find meaning in them.
They can cause us to find the heroic within ourselves and in so doing we find selfunderstanding, acceptance, resolution, wisdom, compassion and more.
We know that if we always do what we’ve always done, we will get the same result. Suffering
helps us to recognise that we can’t always control what happens to us in life. It also teaches us
that we have choice; that transforming habitual ways of seeing and doing things allows us to
respond in creative, wise, compassionate and insightful ways that liberate us to live from our
essential, our first nature.
© Petrea King
T: 1300 941 488 or 4883 6599 F: 4883 6632 W: www.questforlife.com.au
PETREA KING
Petrea King is the founder and CEO of the Quest for Life Foundation
and Centre. She is the author of eight best-selling books including
‘Quest for Life’ and ‘Your Life Matters’ and has recorded a dozen
meditation CDs. Petrea provides a practical and spiritual perspective
in the challenging arenas of life including facing mortality, grief, loss
and trauma. Petrea is a qualified naturopath, herbalist and yoga and
meditation teacher and has been passionate about transformation
ever since she realised that she has choice!
© Petrea King
T: 1300 941 488 or 4883 6599 F: 4883 6632 W: www.questforlife.com.au