Child and Adolescent Community Health
Community Health Manual
GUIDELINE
Conflict resolution
Scope (Staff):
School Health
Scope (Area):
CACH, WACHS
This document should be read in conjunction with this DISCLAIMER
Background
Conflict is generally conceptualised as at least one incident of mutual opposition and so
its resolution requires actions that terminate the oppositional exchange. The strategies
employed to overcome conflict commonly include overt anger, compromise, avoidance,
social support, obliging and distraction6. Conflict and disagreements are an inevitable
part of life and the potential for conflict exists because people have different needs,
views and values.4 The challenge for schools is to find ways of managing conflict
constructively so those involved can learn and grow from the experience.2
Conflict resolution skills are influenced by individual traits such as temperament; family
traits such as parenting styles; peer factors such as pressures to adhere to group norms;
and cultural factors such as gender and ethnic socialisation5. Verbal assertiveness and a
non-confrontational response are popular types of conflict resolution responses for
young people. Further to this, gender socialisation differences in communication styles
appear to make girls and boys vulnerable to different conflict resolution problems: an
aggressive style seems to be more typical for boys, whereas girls tend to be more
verbally assertive.5
Conflict is not always resolved in the moment, for example school-related conflicts are
sometimes settled outside of school.5 Students overwhelmingly choose to address
conflict on their own, which is developmentally consistent with the emerging autonomy of
early adolescents.5 Self-efficacy and self-control are significant predictors of conflict
resolution styles.5
Community health nurses working in schools can intervene with children in ways that
build their self-efficacy and self-control around social conflicts.5 For young people to be
satisfied with the way a dispute or problem has been resolved, they need to feel that: the
process was fair, the agreement or decision reached was reasonable, the relationship
between parties has been helped by the process, and they can manage their relationship
in the future.2
General principles
 Explain that the consultation is confidential and private, with very few exceptions.
Discuss conditional confidentiality, and explain that as a health professional,
there are times when the law requires you to share certain details. See
Confidentiality and Adolescents guideline
 Encourage and support adolescents to inform their parents or guardian about
significant health issues. The support provided should reflect the maturity of the
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individual, significance of the issue, and the particular circumstances of each
case.
 Review the school conflict resolution and behaviour management policies and
procedures; ensure you are familiar with them. Encourage open discussion with
school staff on issues of potential conflict. When conflict arises consult with an
appropriate representative within school services who may be able to assist, for
example the school administrator.
 Conflicts don’t have to be avoided. Conflict can be positive, providing young
people with an opportunity to take a close look at themselves and their attitudes
and beliefs. If resolved positively, conflicts can help strengthen relationships and
build greater understanding of self and others.4 It is important to note that in some
situations intervention is not required; it may be more appropriate to redirect the
young person to talk calmly with the other person/s about grievances first.
 An immediate response to conflict needs to be managing the emotion before
resolution. It may be helpful to validate the young person’s feelings of anger,
frustration and distress, and allow some time to calm before problem solving.
 Young people require the knowledge, skills practice and confidence in their
ability to resolve conflict.5 The school nurse can be pivotal in modelling
appropriate conflict resolution skills, helping young people to practice skills and
facilitating restorative justice.
 Accept that sometimes we cannot get to the ultimate truth. Often fault is unclear
and people can agree to accept the ambiguous situation. It is best to accept this
and focus on who was affected and the damage done to the relationship9.
 It may be necessary to be an advocate for the young person in a conflict situation.
For example, when conflict is between the young person and a teacher or in
situations in which the young person may otherwise be isolated, and/or requires
additional emotional support.
 Perceived fairness is an important criterion in conflict resolution.5
 Issues of context and psychological factors must be taken into account in efforts
to understand and promote appropriate conflict resolution skills.6
 It is important to talk about potential conflicts and try to prevent them. Early
intervention in conflict is most advantageous to avoid escalation of issues and
associated emotional distress.
Role of community health staff
Intervention can fall into four categories:
1. Individual work: includes health counselling with the individual
2. Group work: is useful when there are a few young people with similar issues.
a. Group work encourages social skills, active participation and shared
problem solving as well as learning. Four participants is the optimum
size to manage student learning.
3. Whole class strategies: providing universal learning experiences about conflict
resolution
4. Local partnerships: includes working in conjunction with school services staff
such as school psychologist or Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.3
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Immediate strategies: calm and de-escalate
Have empathy
 Look at the issue from the young person’s point of view. What are the feelings
behind the behaviour?
 Anger is a second emotion. It is a normal emotion to a stressful event. It is
important to look for underlying feelings e.g. sadness, frustration, stress.
 If anger is not expressed, it can lead to stress. Explain to the young person: “It is
OK to get angry and it is healthy to express anger as long as it does not hurt
anybody or damage anything.”
 Some healthy ways to deal with anger are: write, paint, and stomp your feet,
scream into a pillow, go for a run or talk to someone. You may like to give the
young person a bean bag to throw against wall/floor.
Refer to Anger Management guidelines for more information
W rite it down
 Writing a letter can be a good way to safely express grievances and feelings of
anger, sadness and frustration.
 The aim of writing down feelings is to de-escalate the situation. It is important to
destroy the document afterwards and not distribute it.
Affective Questions and Statements9
1. Find out what happened: talk about the incident without blaming
2. Using relational questions to bring out who was affected and how
3. Discussing what needs to happen to make things right takes the
discussion from the past and problem solves it in the future.
Questions: What happened?
o
How did it happen?
o
How did you act in this situation?
o
Who do you think was affected? o
How were they affected?
o
How were you affected?
o
What needs to happen to make things right?
o
If the same situation happens again how could you behave differently?
Allow Learning Opportunities
 Encourage the young person involved in the conflict to look for the solution or
reach a compromise, rather than solve the problem for them. This allows them
the opportunity to learn.
 Ask their opinion e.g. “I’m not quite sure – have you had any thoughts about
what you should do in that situation?”
 Use reflective questioning to promote awareness, make comparisons, consider
options and come up with a plan. See Appendix Two.
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Be Aware of Support Networks
 Have information available and provide when necessary e.g. friends, family,
neighbours, church groups, children’s helpline, relationships Australia, parenting
supports. See ‘Associated Tools, Resources and Procedures’ for more
information.
Later strategies: Learning new skills
Establish current conflict resolution styles
 Determine the current conflict resolution styles the young person uses: “Tell me
about what kind of reactions you have when someone annoys you or makes
you angry…”
 Try writing down the “issue”, or event, the “thoughts and feelings” associated
with the issue and the “actions”, or what the young person usually does. Once
some patterns of conflict resolution are established, help the young person
understand which styles they use and when (see Appendix One). It is important
for the young person to understand there are different styles of conflict
resolution. Identify with the young person which styles are most helpful for
different situations.
 Help the young person understand if there are any triggers for conflict – for
example particular people, associated feelings or times of the day.
Steps for Conflict Resolution
Share with the young person these simple steps for conflict resolution:
1. Think about the problem.
2. Say what you feel.
3. Listen to the other person.
4. Brainstorm solutions: Take time for each young person to brainstorm about
possible solutions to the problem. Come up with a list of options without
immediately judging them or feeling committed to them.
5. Decide what each person will do.
6. Stick to what you have decided.
7. Talk again if the solution is not working.
Staying Calm

Encourage the young person to show character by “rejecting the bait” for a fight or
by accepting a compromise to end a dispute, rather than responding aggressively.4
Say to student “it takes amazing strength to walk away”.

Teach the young person how to be calm in stressful situations, which may help
to diffuse the energy of the conflict. For example, taking deep breaths. Practice at
other times too, not just when a conflict arises. Also refer to Stress Management
guidelines.
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Smart Ignoring
 This involves thinking about who is ‘smart’ to ignore within the school
environment. For example, it is important not to ignore the teacher, but it may
be useful to ignore another young person who has offended you during class.
Ask for what you want
 Encourage the young person to say what they want, not what they don’t want.
For example, in a conflict: Say “I would like you to give me some space for 10
mins so that I can…” Rather than “Don’t talk to me!”
Use of ‘I’ statements
 Say to the young person “When you experience strong emotions about things
that are happening, or you want to let others know about your needs or feelings
using ‘I’ statements is a good way to go. The purpose of an ‘I’ statement is to
make a clear statement in a way that the other person is most likely to hear
without being defensive”
The following is one way of getting a clear ‘I’ statement. Using this guide may feel
awkward to begin with and with time ‘I’ statements will come in other forms (probably
shorter), but for now, just go with this way of working it out.
o
When… neutral description of behaviour/events
o
I feel…
o
Because…
o
And what I’d like is…
accurate statement of your feelings
consequences for you, what happens to you
this is not demanded
Instead of: “You’re always forgetting the things you promised to bring and I’m sick of it
because you’ve stopped me getting on with my work again. You’ve got to be more
thoughtful!”
Try:
o
When… the things I need are not available
o
I feel…
o
Because…
o
And what I’d like is… to get everything from you so I can finish
frustrated
I can’t finish my work
Discuss how the wording we might each choose can be very different and still be saying
the same thing. Discuss that when people are in ‘conflict’, they need to be clear
about what’s happened (peoples actions, consequences, feelings etc.) and work
out what they want to be different – this model helps to do this. Encourage people
to keep messages short.
Role Play and Role Model
 Practise the above strategies with the young person within a safe environment.
 This will enhance the young person’s confidence to deal with a conflict nonaggressively.
 This can be done through role playing situations to gain direct experience, or by
role modelling strategies for the young person.5
 The aim is to give the young person some tools to protect and prepare them
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for real life situations.1
Give Constructive Feedback
 Feedback constructive messages regarding positive behaviours or intentions.3
 Give approval and encouragement for trying new strategies, even if it does not
work first time.
 Show delight in the young person’s learning journey.
The Language of Choice9
 This type of language can be used by teachers and other school services staff to
engage the young person with dignity, de-escalates the behaviour, heighten the
young person’s responsibility and reintegrate them back into the lesson or
desired task. e.g. “You can choose to work over there by yourself or work
cooperatively with the group”
Conflict resolution when two or more parties are present
Separate the parties
 Suggest the young people deal with their strong feelings in a safe and
independent way before attempting to resolve the conflict.

Direct the young person to a safe person who they can vent to and work through
emotions with. This may be a member of school services.
 Assure both parties that their concerns will be listened to and there will be an
attempt to resolve the issues.
Consider your own safety
 Stay calm and request the young person’s cooperation. Remove the person to a
safe place where they can ‘cool off’ in an attempt to prevent violent or
unacceptable acts of behaviour from occurring.
 If at any time you feel threatened, remove yourself from the situation.
Consider if mediation is appropriate
 In some conflicts mediation between the parties is necessary. See Appendix
Three and ‘Associated Tools and Resources for further information about
mediation and restorative justice.
 The community health nurse’s role in mediation differs depending on school
procedure and level of expertise. If you are uncertain, discuss with your line
manager or school administrators.
Documentation
School Health Record CHS 410:
Related professional development
Family Partnerships training: is based upon an explicit framework that integrates the
use of core helping skills and qualities with the processes of a goal orientated
approach. Participants are encouraged to develop knowledge, skills and confidence in
the processes of engaging and relating to clients and supporting them effectively.
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These processes are assumed to involve the developments of a genuine and
respectful partnership. This training covers:
o The needs of parents and children
o The parent-professional relationships
o The processes of helping
o The qualities and nature of communication skills needed in the
helper to facilitate these processes
For more information discuss with your line manager or refer to website:
www.fpta.org.au
CACH Workforce Development encourages community health nurses working in
schools to complete the Gatekeepers Suicide Prevention training. It is recommended
that Community health nurses in schools work with school administration and student
service teams to develop a proactive suicide risk response plan.
Related internal policies, procedures and guidelines
Promoting mental health and resilience in schools
HEADSS adolescent psychosocial risk assessment
Identifying students with mental health problems
Brief interventions for social and emotional wellbeing
Social skills and relationships
References
1. Davis TK (2005) Beyond the Physical Examination: the Nurse Practitioner’s Role in
Adolescent Risk Reduction and Resiliency building in a school-based health centre
Nursing Clinics of North America 40 p649-660
2. Cahir S, Freeman L, Gass F, Hill M, Stern F (2001) Conflict Resolution in
Schools Victorian Association for Dispute Resolution Inc: Melbourne
3. Buckland L, Rose J, Greaves C (2005) Making a difference to families: tackling
challenging behaviour Community Practitioner 78(2) p50-55
4. National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (2002) Facts for Teens:
Conflict Resolution Accessed on 1st December 2009 from www.safeyouth.org
5. Vera EM, Shin RQ, Montgomery GP, Mildner C, Speight SL (2004) Conflict Resolution
Styles, Self Efficacy, Self Control, and the Future Orientation of Urban Adolescents
Professional School Counseling 8(1) p73-80
6. James VH, Owens LD (2004) Peer Victimisation and Conflict Resolution Among
Adolescent Girls in a Single-sex South Australian School International Education Journal
5(1) p37-49
7. Morrison B (2002) Bullying and Victimisation in Schools: A Restorative Justice
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Approach Australian Institute of Criminology: Trends and Issues in Crime and
Criminal Justice 219 Accessed 6th January 2010 from www.aic.gov.au
8. Cameron L, Thorsborne M (1999) Restorative Justice and School Discipline: Mutually
Exclusive? Accessed 7th January 2010 from
www.thorsborne.com.au/conference_papers/RJandSchool_Discipline.pdf
9. Harrison L (nd) Restorative Justice in the school Setting – a Whole School
Approach Marist Youth Care: Sydney. Accessed 5th January 2010 from
http://www.maristyc.com.au/download/journal.pdf
10. Morrison B (2002) Restorative Justice and School Violence: Building Theory and
Practice International Institute for Restorative Practices Accessed 7th January 2010
from http://www.iirp.org/pdf/morrison_bullying.pdf
11. Drewery W, Winslade J (2003) Developing Restorative Practices in Schools: Flavour of
the month or saviour of the system? AARE/NZARE Conference paper. Accessed 7th
January 2010 from http://www.aare.edu.au/03pap/dre03675.pdf
Useful resources
Working with Youth – A resource for community based health workers
http://www.feelingfacescards.com/ School nurses and teachers can use the 42 Feeling
Faces Cards like emotional flash cards to help individuals identify emotions and share
important thoughts about feelings
Community Mental Health Services: there is a comprehensive range of public mental
health services. Mental health care is provided for children, adolescents, adults and older
people. Health Info: 1300 135 030
www.medicareaustralia.gov.au Medicare Better Access Program: GP Mental Health Care
Plan. The young person’s GP will assess their mental health, work out what help is
needed, set goals and choose the treatment that would be best, depending on each
individual situation. Treatment may include seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist, referral to
other services, or medication. Significant Medicare rebates apply for these items.
www.kidsmatter.edu.au/ Aims to improve the mental health and wellbeing of
children, reduce mental health problems amongst children, and achieve greater support for
children experiencing mental health difficulties, and their families. Resources are designed
for implementation in Australian primary schools.
www.mindmatters.edu.au/ A resource and professional development program supporting
Australian secondary schools in promoting and protecting the mental health, and social
and emotional wellbeing of all the members of school communities.
http://www.newharbinger.com/anxiety-workbook-teens The Anxiety Workbook for Teens:
Activities to Help You Deal with Anxiety and Worry. This workbook can show young people
how to deal with the day-to-day challenges of anxiety. It helps develop a positive selfimage and recognize anxious thoughts. The workbook also includes resources for seeking
additional help and support. www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm Centre
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for Clinical Interventions
– provides useful information for professionals and carers including worksheets, and
suggested exercises or activities.
http://au.reachout.com/ A website for young people to improve understanding of mental
health issues and wellbeing. Also provides information on services, and opportunities to
connect with other young people.
www.mhfa.com.au Mental Health First Aid is the help provided to a person developing a
mental health problem or in a mental health crisis. The first aid is given until appropriate
professional treatment is received or until the crisis resolves. Website provides practical
strategies and information.
www.beyondblue.org.au beyondblue is a national, independent, not-for-profit organisation
working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related substance
misuse disorders in Australia. Website has fact sheets, information on referral and
supports.
http://www.sane.org/ SANE Australia is a national charity working for a better life for
people affected by mental illness through campaigns, education and research. SANE
Australia produces a range of publications including factsheets, magazines and DVD’s for
people living with a mental illness, carers, professionals and students.
www.handsonscotland.co.uk The handsonscotland toolkit is a one-stop shop for practical
information and techniques on how to respond helpfully to children and young people's
troubling behaviour, build up their self-esteem and promote their positive mental wellbeing.
www.bevaisbett.com Bev Aisbett has published a range of cartoon books including “Living
with It”. This can assist with understanding the nature of anxiety and may help with
regaining control and starting recovery.
www.Moodgym.anu.edu.au Moodgym is designed especially for young people, it is an
innovative interactive program aimed at preventing and decreasing depressive symptoms.
Moodgym teaches the principles of cognitive behaviour therapy. Offers services such as
anxiety and depression assessments, relaxation and advice to deal with stress and
relationship break-ups.
http://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Get_Help Lifeline’s section called ‘Get Help” is a
national mental health information and referral service, and is an easy and accessible way
for people to find resources and tools to help with a wide range of mental health issues.
www.headroom.net.au This site is dedicated to positive mental health of children,
adolescents and the adults in their lives.
http://www.health.wa.gov.au/mentalhealth/publications/head2head.cfm Head2Head
magazine is published three times a year and provides an avenue for WA mental health
information to all sectors of the community. The magazine is available free of charge.
Developing Restorative Practices in Schools: Flavour of the month or saviour of the
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system? http://publications.aare.edu.au/03pap/dre03675.pdf
Help/Information Lines
Mental Health Emergency Response Line (24hr) 1300 555 788
Association of Relatives and Friends of the Mentally ill (ARAFMI):WA (08) 9427 7100
beyondblue info line (National) - 1300 22 4636
Lifeline (National) - 13 11 14
SANE Australia Helpline (National) - 1800 187 263
Mensline Australia (National) - 1300 789 978
Australian Psychological Society Referral Line (National) 1800 333 497
Mental Health Information Service (NSW) - 1300 794 991
Kids Helpline (National) - 1800 551 800.
Appendix One: Conflict resolution styles
Style
Information
Overt Anger
The associated power assertion often aggravates
conflicts and tends to destroy relationships. E.g. Get angry, yell,
walk away, hurt other person’s feelings, sarcasm, make the
other person feel bad, get angrier with more discussion, angry
for long time.
Compromise
Resolving conflicts using compromise facilitates the
sharing of power needed to preserve relationship
interconnectedness. E.g. Try to reason, listen and understand,
try to work out a compromise.
Avoidance
May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be
seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious
relationships can be important. E.g. “Bottle up” feelings, walk
away and discuss later, be cool/ distant, avoid discussion.
Social Support
May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be
seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious
relationships can be important. E.g. Talk to sibling, parent or
teacher; try to bring in a friend or someone else to help.
Obliging
May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be
seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious
relationships can be important. E.g. Put other persons needs
first, apologise, give in to what other person wants
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Distraction
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May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be
seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious
relationships can be important. E.g. Try to be funny and make
light of issue, say it’s not important, distract through
entertainment or relaxation
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Appendix Two: Reflective Questioning
AWARENESS
ANALYSIS
ALTERNATIVES
ACTION
To promote awareness
To make comparisons
To consider options
To make a plan
What do you know about…?
How does that compare with
what you did before?
How could you find out about…?
How are you going to put that
into place?
How are you currently doing?
How does that fit in with what
your goals are?
What else could you have done
to…?
What do you plan to do? What
supports will you need?
What have you tried?
How did you know you needed to What would it take for you to be
able to…?
change your plan?
What will you do differently next
time?
What might make it work better
next time?
Where will you get the help you
need?
How did that work for you?
How do you feel…?
What supports were most
helpful?
What do you think will happen if
you…?
What other opportunities would be What option will get the best
useful?
result?
**Please note: these questions are a guide only and should be presented in a way which is understood by the young person.
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Appendix Three: Restorative Justice and Mediation
Restorative justice is based on the premise that positive relationships are fundamental to
individual and social wellbeing as well as the health of the school community.8 The goal,
therefore, is to heal relationships damaged by the behaviour. Restorative justice seeks to make
it clear to the offender that their behaviour is not condoned, holding them accountable for their
actions, while at the same time being supportive and respectful of the individual.7,10 Restorative
justice is based on a set of underlying principles:
1. Focus on the relationship and how people are affected
2. Restore damaged relationships
Healing processes are needed to restore the relationships. Both parties need to be involved
so that the relationship can be resolved.
9
3. Talk about the behaviour without blaming or being personal
It is made absolutely clear that the behaviour is inappropriate and has affected others but
this conversation is respectful and engaging.
9
4. See mistakes and misbehaviour as an opportunity for learning
5. Accept that sometimes we cannot get to the ultimate truth
Often fault is unclear and people can agree to accept the ambiguous situation. It is best to
accept this and focus on who was affected.9
6. Be future focussed and talk about how to make things right
The parties themselves determine what should happen to make amends.11 Move from
talking about the “problem” that has happened in the past and acknowledge that change
needs takes place in the future. Plan how to manage any setbacks, while focusing on
improvement.9
9
Restorative Mediation
Before the meeting each person is talked to individually to establish the issue, purpose of
meeting, and reflect on a realistic and desirable outcome.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Stage
Allow each person to talk about
the incident
Paraphrase feelings and content;
accept some degree of ambiguity due
to different perceptions
Establish effect on each person
Paraphrase each person’s
feelings and content
Move towards making things
“right”
Future Problem Solve and write
down ideas
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Key Words
“Let’s talk about what happened. It’s
important for me to understand”
“We don’t need to agree on every
detail because we need to focus on
how people have been affected”
“How were you or others affected?”
“Try to say what you heard each other
say”
“What needs to happen to make
things right?”
“If the same situation happened
again, how could it be dealt with?”
Conflict Resolution
This document can be made available in
alternative formats on request for a person
with a disability.
File Path:
Document Owner:
Senior Portfolio Policy Officer
Reviewer / Team:
School-aged Health Reference Group
Date First Issued:
Jul-10
Version:
Last Reviewed:
Sep-13
Review Date:
Approved by:
School-aged Health Reference Group
Date:
Endorsed by:
Executive Director CACH, Pop Health Director WACHS
Date:
Standards Applicable:
NSQHS Standards:
1/08/2016
1.7, 1.18
Printed or personally saved electronic copies of this document are considered uncontrolled
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