American Born Chinese the Musical
Three Stories for the Price of One
Audition Excerpts
Excerpt 1: Jin Wang, Wei-Chen, and Suzy
WEI-CHEN and SUZY are holding hands on the bench. JIN is nervously wondering if AMELIA might be
“interested” in GREG.
JIN: Do you think she likes him?
WEI-CHEN: Sorry, Jin, Please say again? Suzy and I were looking at each other with eyes of love.
[SUZY laughs. JIN becomes frustrated.]
JIN: I was asking... before the two of you almost made me puke! Do you think Amelia likes Greg?
WEI-CHEN: Greg?
JIN: Yeah! Greg, that guy who sits next to here in science.
SUZY: Come on, Jin. Don’t be so paranoid. They were just talking!
WEI-CHEN: But talking is more than he has ever done. … Because he is a little cowardly turtle.
JIN: [sighs] Shut up. I’ve talked to her before.
SUZY: Haha! You know, I could be wrong... But I don’t think dropping your books in front of her and
then giggling to yourself counts as conversation.
JIN: No, wait, Suzy! What he say is true! Remember last week in science?
SUZY:
Oh yeah! That’s right! How could I forget?
WEI-CHEN: Yes! Instead of walking behind her table as usual, Jin bravely walk right in front of Amelia
to get his lab materials.
SUZY: Yeah, only to knock over half the test tubes along the counter!
WEI-CHEN: And when Amelia help him to pick up the broken glass, Jin point to test tubes still on the
counter and says, [SUZY joins him:] “Haha. At least I didn’t rake the breast.”
[JIN rolls eyes and looks away. WEI-CHEN and SUZY continue to laugh.]
Excerpt 2: Tze-Yo-Tzuh and The Monkey King
TZE-YO-TZUH is attempting to assuage the MONKEY KING who has terrorized the other deities in his
anger for having been humiliated and forced to leave the party in Heaven.
TZE-YO-TZUH: I am Tze-Yo-Tzuh. All I have created—all of existence—forever remains within the
reach of my hand. You, I have created. Therefore, you can never escape my reach.
MONKEY KING: Cloud! [He summons a cloud and climbs onto it.] Watch me. [He “flies” a small
distance away on his cloud.] Ha! Too easy!
[TZE-YO-TZUH reaches after MONKEY KING. The lights dim, and the Monkey King flies as quickly as
he can over to the Five Pillars of Gold.]
MONKEY KING: The Five Pillars of Gold? What is this? [He carves his name in the pillars and pees
on them. He then stands back to admire work, before racing back to where TZE-YO-TZUH is
standing.]
MONKEY KING: I just flew through the boundaries of reality itself, and where was your “ever-present
reach”? [mocking air quotes] Nowhere! Ha! Of all the gods I’ve encountered, you are by far the
most pitiable. Now get out of my sight before I make you recite my name until your tongue bleeds.
TZE-YO-TZUH: [extends hand in MONKEY KING’S direction] Come closer, little monkey, and take a
look at my hand. The Five Pillars of Gold you found at the end of all that is—those were the five
fingers of my hand. [He grins and shakes his head.] Silly monkey, you were never out of my reach.
You only fooled yourself. [He begins to walk away] Come, little one, walk with me.
My eyes have seen all your days. I know your most hidden thoughts. I know everything you know, and
more. I’ve been everywhere you’ve been, and beyond. Where did you think you could hide from
me? Where can you flee from my presence? [He looks at his hand.]
I am in the heights of heaven… and the depths of the underworld. It was I who formed your inmost
being, I who knit you together in the womb of that rock. I made you with awe and wonder, for
wonderful are all of my works…
[MONKEY KING scratches head, confused]
TZE-YO-TZUH: I do not make mistakes, little monkey. A monkey I intended you to be. A monkey you
are. Please accept this and stop your foolishness.
MONKEY KING: [tightens fists, angry] I don’t care WHO you say you are, old man. I can still take
you!
TZE-YO-TZUH: [sighs] I guess I’ll have to do this the hard way then…
Excerpt 3: Danny, Chin-Kee, and Melanie
DANNY and AMELIA are studying for a chemistry test together. DANNY is staring at AMELIA and
drooling, but AMELIA is looking at the textbook.
MELANIE: Van der Waals forces of attraction are stronger when more of what are present?
MELANIE: [looks at DANNY, confused] Um...Danny, you’re drooling. Are you okay?
DANNY: [He wipes the drool from his face and blinks a couple times.] What? Oh! well, I um… that…
uh that happens when I’m really concentrated on your… er, uh—I mean [coughs] chemistry!
MELANIE: [frustrated] Will you please stop fooling around? If we don’t get this attraction stuff down
by tomorrow…
DANNY: [He blushes.] You know, Melanie, since we’re on the topic of attraction, I’ve been meaning to
talk to you about something…
MELANIE: [She looks away, and laughs nervously.] I’ve actually been hoping...
DANNY’S MOM: [from offstage, shouting] Danny!
DANNY: Ugh! [He rolls his eyes.] Sorry, hold that thought. [He turns his head] Yeah, Ma?!
DANNY’S MOM: I have some exciting news! Guess who’s coming to visit?
DANNY: [confused] Who?!
DANNY’S MOM: Your cousin, Chin-Kee!
[DANNY drops huge textbook on floor. DANNY’S MOM laughs loudly.]
DANNY’S MOM: Haha! I knew you’d be excited! Your father went to go pick him up at the airport! He
should be here any minute now! [DANNY makes a face.]
MELANIE: [Her expression becomes very confused.] Danny, who’s cousin Chin-Kee?
[CHIN-KEE loudly enters room shortly followed by DANNY’S DAD struggling to keep his balance with
CHIN-KEE’s luggage.]
CHIN-KEE: Harro Amellica!
DANNY’S DAD: I’ll just go ahead and put your luggage into your room, Chin-Kee.
[CHIN-KEE rushes over to DANNY and MELANIE.]
CHIN-KEE: Cousin, Da-neeee!
[DANNY stares nervously at CHIN-KEE]
CHIN-KEE: [bows with hands held together] Rong time no see! Chin-Kee happy as ginger root pranted
in nutritious manure of well-bred ox!