Wedding Planning Guide
Central Lutheran Church
333 South 12th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
♦
612-870-4416
www.centralmpls.org
Table of Contents
Introduction …………………………………………………………………………………………….. 3
The Basics ……………………………………………………………………………………………….. 4
Preliminary Arrangements …………………………………………………………………………….. 4
Communication …………………………………………………………………………………………. 4
Fees ……………………………………………………………………………………………………….. 4
Driving Directions ……………………………………………………………………………………… 5
Parking …………………………………………………………………………………………………... 7
Access for the Disabled ………………………………………………………………………………… 7
Drug & Alcohol Policy …………………………………………………………………………………. 7
Security …………………………………………………………………………………………………... 8
Receptions ……………………………………………………………………………………………….. 8
Marriage License ………………………………………………………………………………………... 8
Your Pastor ……………………………………………………………………………………………… 9
Visiting Clergy …………………………………………………………………………………………. 10
Pre-Marital Counseling ……………………………………………………………………………….. 10
Your Wedding Coordinator ………………………………………………………………................. 11
The Rehearsal ………………………………………………………………………………................. 11
The Sanctuary ………………………………………………………………………………................. 12
Candles …………………………………………………………………………………………………. 12
Flowers …………………………………………………………………………………………………. 13
Photography/Videography …………………………………………………………………………… 13
Miscellaneous Concerns ………………………………………………………………………………. 13
Dressing Rooms ……………………………………………………………………………………….. 14
The Marriage Liturgy ………………………………………………………………………………… 15
Order of Service ……………………………………………………………………………………….. 15
Scripture ………………………………………………………………………………………………... 20
Vows ……………………………………………………………………………………………………. 21
Ring Texts ………………………………………………………………………………………………. 25
Music Guidance ……………………………………………………………………………………….. 26
Hymns ………………………………………………………………………………………………….. 28
Your Wedding Service Folder ………………………………………………………………………... 29
Frequently Asked Questions ………………………………………………………………………... 31
Thinking About Your Wedding Service ………………………………………………………….. 35
Pastoral & Wedding Staff …………………………………………………………………………… 36
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INTRODUCTION
Congratulations on your engagement! You are at the beginning of an important
journey, and we are honored that you want Central to share in your joy on the day of
your marriage.
As you plan this service, we hope these materials will help guide you so that your
wedding will be a joyous act of worship. By attending to details in a timely and
thoughtful matter now, you and your guests will be able to focus on celebrating your
union in the presence of God on the day you are married.
As you move through this planning process, do so carefully and prayerfully. Remember
that marriage is a rite of the church, “intended for the joy and mutual strength of those
who enter it and for the well-being of the whole human family” (Evangelical Lutheran
Worship, ELW). The most important thing about your wedding day is not the flowers,
the clothes, the pictures, or the party. The most important thing is worshiping the
Creator and Giver of all things… the one who makes everything possible! Our sincere
hope is that you will put far more energy into preparing for your marriage than for the
single day of your wedding.
This booklet will provide an overview of what is involved in having a wedding at
Central. If you have further questions, feel free to contact the Administrative Assistant
in the Office of the Senior Pastor (see page 36 for contact information). We want your
wedding to be a joyful occasion, and we are here to support you as you prepare. Thank
you for inviting us to share this important day in your life.
Please note that the policies and fees presented in this document are subject to change.
Please feel free to contact the Church Office for confirmation or clarification of these policies.
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THE BASICS
PRELIMINARY ARRANGEMENTS
All who wish to plan a marriage at Central Lutheran Church (members and nonmembers) are asked to fill out a “Marriage Request” form. This document allows the
pastors and staff to learn a little bit about you and to begin the scheduling process. For
a copy of this form contact the Administrative Assistant in the Office of the Senior
Pastor at 612-767-9203.
Please understand that dates are often booked far in advance, and it is Central’s policy
to schedule only one wedding per week, and seldom more than two each month.
Additionally, Central does not schedule weddings on the church campus during the
church year seasons of Advent and Lent. (This includes the Saturday prior to the first
Sunday of Advent.) Members may contact the church 6 to 12 months in advance of a
requested service date. Non-members may contact the church 9-12 months in advance
of a requested service date. It is helpful to have a few different dates in mind. You may
list more than one date on the Marriage Request form and indicate your preferred
choice. No date, for member or non-member, can be confirmed earlier than 12
months before the requested date. (For example, if you request August 20, 2012 on
August 1, 2011, Central will not be able to confirm the date until August 20, 2011.)
COMMUNICATION
It is Central’s practice that the wedding couple communicate directly with the Central
staff (including their assigned Central pastor, musician, wedding coordinator, and the
administrative assistant in the office of the senior pastor), rather than asking a
parent/guardian or outside wedding coordinator to facilitate communication. This helps
to eliminate confusion during the planning process, and allows the Central staff
members to better build a relationship with the wedding couple.
FEES
The wedding fee is $1,100 for members and $1,600 for non-members. As a down
payment, a $300 non-refundable deposit for members (or $400 for non-members) is
required to secure the date. The member wedding fee will apply when one or both
parties getting married are Central members at the time the date/deposit have been
confirmed. If fees present a financial hardship, you may discuss this with your
assigned Central pastor.
The wedding fee covers an honorarium to the assigned Central pastor, musician, and
wedding coordinator. It also covers the cost of additional work by our building and
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security staff, and the cost of parking for you and your guests. The musician provides a
music planning consultation, as well as a brief rehearsal on the day of your wedding if
you have a soloist. Any additional requirements of the musician (or the involvement of
additional musicians) may incur additional fees. (For more information, refer to the
Music Guidance section of this guide.) The pastor conducting your wedding normally
requires that you take the PREPARE Inventory (offered approximately every other
month at Central), and participate in at least three pre-marital counseling sessions.
To include visiting musicians or clergy in your service, Central’s staff must consult with
you and approve their participation. Because Central’s staff members must be available
to assist guest worship leaders and offer you guidance through the planning process,
working with outside participants will not change the wedding fees stated above. You
will need to discuss appropriate additional compensation for visiting participants
(which will not be taken from the church fee) independently with them. (For
information about visiting musicians and clergy, see the Music Guidance and Visiting
Clergy sections of this guide.)
The fee covers the use of the sanctuary and the lower narthex/dressing room area.
Should you require additional rooms, please inquire with the Administrative Assistant,
keeping in mind that additional fees may be incurred.
Central will provide aisle candles for an additional $20, as well as outside tapers for a
unity candle ritual. You are responsible for supplying your own unity candle.
Again, a non-refundable deposit of $300 for members or $400 for non-members and a
signed “Wedding Planning Covenant” secure the date you have agreed upon with the
Administrative Assistant. Checks may be made payable to Central Lutheran Church.
The balance of your fee is due sixty days prior to the service.
DRIVING DIRECTIONS
Central is located in downtown Minneapolis, at the juncture of I-94 and I-35W. During
light traffic times, such as Sunday mornings, most people in the Twin Cities area can
reach Central in less than 20 minutes.
From the West (I-94)
Take the 4th Street exit from I-94, and proceed to 3rd Avenue South. (Do NOT turn right
onto 3rd Avenue North.) Turn right on 3rd Avenue South, and go eight blocks until 3rd
Avenue veers left at the Convention Center. Follow 3rd Avenue, and Central will be on
your left.
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From the East (I-94)
Take the 11th Street exit from I-94, and follow 11th Street South until you reach 3rd
Avenue South. Turn left onto 3rd Avenue South, and go one block until 3rd Avenue veers
left at the Convention Center. Follow 3rd Avenue, and Central will be on your left.
From the West (I-394)
Take the Downtown Exit (12th Street), and follow 12th Street South to 3rd Avenue South.
Turn right onto 3rd Avenue South, which is just beyond the Convention Center. Central
will be on your left.
From the South (I-35W)
Follow Downtown Exit signs to the 11th Street exit, and follow 11th Street to 3rd Avenue
South. Turn left on 3rd Avenue South, and go one block until 3rd Avenue veers left at the
Convention Center. Follow 3rd Avenue, and Central will be on your left.
From the North (I-35W)
After crossing the I-35 bridge, follow exit signs for I-94 West. Take I-94 West, stay right,
and take the 11th Street exit from I-94. (Do not take the 11th Avenue exit.) Follow 11th
Street until you reach 3rd Avenue South. Turn left onto 3rd Avenue South, and go one
block until 3rd Avenue veers left at the Convention Center. Follow 3rd Avenue and
Central will be on your left.
MAP (Central is located on the northeast side of the Convention Center – and is marked here with a star.)
(http://www.minneapolis.org/travelinfo/pdf/mplsmapdt.pdf)
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PARKING
Please take care to park in the areas owned by Central Lutheran Church.
Central owns the entire surface lot on the south side of the church building, and also
owns half of the parking ramp, accessible through the surface lot. The city of
Minneapolis owns the half of the ramp which is accessible through the 3rd Avenue
entrance. If you park in the 3rd Avenue side of the ramp you will be required to pay
for parking. The city of Minneapolis will not accept parking validation from Central
Lutheran Church.
Parking in Central’s parking areas is included as part of your wedding fee, allowing
you and your guests to have free parking for your rehearsal and wedding. When
preparing your invitations, please consider adding a line which reads:
Parking in Central’s lot is free. Tickets will be validated inside the church.
ACCESS FOR THE DISABLED
Our sanctuary and ground floor restrooms are accessible to persons in wheelchairs, and
assisted listening devices are available during all worship services. However, the
dressing rooms usually used for the wedding party have limited access. If you know of
any wedding party members or guests with special needs, please notify us as soon as
possible. We will work to make sure that everyone is able to participate fully in the
service.
DRUG & ALCOHOL POLICY
The use of alcohol or any illegal drugs anywhere on the church property is prohibited.
The Central staff reserves the right to postpone or cancel the service if drug or alcohol
use by any guest or member of the wedding party is discovered.
Smoking is also prohibited in the church building and on the campus.
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SECURITY
Central employs its own security personnel. There will be a security guard on duty at
any time the building is open to the public. If security staff is required to put in
additional time beyond what has been allotted, you will incur an additional fee of $30
for each extra hour of security service.
Because Central is a downtown campus, we advise that you leave your valuables at
home. If you bring anything of value, keep it with you at all times. The wedding party
will be able to leave belongings in the dressing room area, which will be locked during
the service. The best way to assure that your belongings are not misplaced or stolen,
however, is not to bring them. Central Lutheran Church will not be held responsible
for lost or stolen items.
RECEPTIONS
Central’s downtown location offers many nearby venues suitable for your reception.
MARRIAGE LICENSE
You must apply for a marriage license in person at a county registrar’s office (for a
complete listing see: http://www.health.state.mn.us/divs/chs/osr/registrars.html). At
least one of the contracting parties must be present to apply. If either of the parties is
not present, their signature must be notarized on the application. You may pick up the
license after a five-day statutory waiting period. Licenses are valid for six months from
the issue date. No refunds are issued on unused licenses at any time. Both parties are
required to provide their Social Security numbers.
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If either or both applicant(s) has/have been previously married, information regarding
termination of the most recent marriage is required at the time of application. If the
most recent previous marriage was terminated by death, the exact date, as well as the
state and county in which the death occurred, must be provided. If termination was by
divorce or court annulment, the exact date, county, state, and type of court are required.
If termination by divorce or legal annulment occurred within 30 days of the date of
application, a certified copy of the decree must be presented for viewing.
You are required to show one form of valid ID when applying for a marriage license.
Acceptable documents include:
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Current drivers license (Minnesota or other state)
Clipped Minnesota license with yellow receipt (in the event of a license renewal)
Current passport
Current Minnesota ID card
Current ID issued by INS
Military ID
Naturalization papers with current photo
The name you provide on your application must exactly match the name on your
identifying document.
The regular fee for a marriage license is currently $100. It is best to be prepared to pay
with cash. This fee is reduced to $40 for couples who complete 12 hours of premarital
education---full participation by taking the PREPARE Inventory, completing three premarital counseling sessions with the pastor, and your own personal work, will meet this
requirement. A licensed or ordained minister, that minister’s designee, or a person
authorized to practice marriage and family therapy, must provide the education. To be
eligible for the reduced fee, a premarital education statement must be submitted when
the couple applies for the license. This statement can be given to you by your Central
pastor upon request. If you have questions, please contact the Administrative
Assistant.
You must give your marriage license to the Administrative Assistant 30 days prior to
your wedding day.
YOUR PASTOR
When your wedding date is reserved, a Central pastor will be assigned to you. Pastors
are assigned on an as-available basis. If you want to request a particular Central pastor
to preside at your wedding, it will be helpful to contact him/her when you begin
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looking at dates. As the church calendar and pastors’ schedule allow, we will be happy
to honor requests for the participation of a specific Central pastor.
VISITING CLERGY
Central allows the participation of visiting clergy in marriage services. If you have a
pastor from a home church, or an ordained member of your family who you want to
involve in the marriage service, please let the Administrative Assistant know as soon as
possible.
If you would like to have a visiting pastor participate in your marriage service, a
Central pastor will still be assigned to you. The participation of a visiting pastor is
allowed at the discretion of the Central pastor assigned to the service. In most cases, the
visiting pastor and Central’s pastor will participate in leading the worship service
together – typically, the visiting pastor is invited to preach, lead the marriage blessing,
and lead the prayers. He or she will be required to communicate and collaborate with
your Central pastor, who will be involved to ensure that the worship practices of
Central are honored, and that the wedding you envision will take place.
A visiting pastor may conduct the pre-marital counseling, at the discretion of your
Central pastor. If you intend to undergo pre-marital counseling with another pastor or
independent agency, the counselor must inform your Central pastor prior to the first
session.
It is your responsibility to contact your Central pastor to arrange the first pre-marital
counseling appointment. That pastor will be responsible for inviting any visiting clergy
to participate in the service, and communicating the expectations for marriage services
at Central. The participation of guest clergy is, again, at the discretion of your Central
pastor.
The pastor’s honorarium included in your wedding fee will be paid to your Central
pastor. Central does not pay visiting clergy. It is your responsibility to arrange an
appropriate honorarium with a visiting pastor independently.
PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING
A minimum of three pre-marital counseling sessions with your Central pastor is our
standard expectation. Your first step in preparing for counseling is to take the
PREPARE inventory, which is required for all couples married at Central. PREPARE is
a relationship discovery instrument which offers insights into various similarities and
differences between you and your partner and your relationship expectations.
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PREPARE is administered at Central at least every other month. Once you have filled
out the inventory, it will be processed and returned to your Central pastor. You should
take it as soon as possible (and no later than 4 months before your wedding service) to
allow for flexibility in scheduling your counseling sessions. Please call the
Administrative Assistant (612-767-9203) for information or to sign up for the next
PREPARE gathering.
The cost of PREPARE is $50 and is not included in your total wedding fee. This amount
must be paid to Central at the time PREPARE is administered.
Even if you have not yet taken PREPARE, it is best to contact your Central pastor as
soon as possible to find out how she/he would prefer to schedule counseling sessions.
Each pastor has his/her own preferences. It is your responsibility to contact your
Central pastor once she/he has been assigned to you.
YOUR WEDDING COORDINATOR
About 3 months before your wedding service, you will be assigned to one of Central’s
wedding coordinators. She/He will help to guide you through the planning process
outlined in this booklet, and will be your primary resource for any questions you might
have. He/She will meet with you individually, be available to answer your questions,
facilitate your rehearsal, and help keep things running smoothly on your wedding day.
Central coordinators work directly with the couples getting married on campus.
THE REHEARSAL
Rehearsals normally take place the day before the wedding from 5:30-6:30pm, and will
be facilitated by your Central wedding coordinator. It is essential that all members of
your wedding party be present and on time – including parents, ushers, and greeters.
If you are not prepared to begin the rehearsal at 5:30pm, you will be charged for an
additional hour of building security service ($30).
Normally, the pastor and musician do not attend the rehearsal. It is the opportunity for
members of your wedding party to get acquainted with the worship space and become
comfortable with their responsibilities for the coming day.
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THE SANCTUARY
Central’s sanctuary seats approximately 2,100 people. There are 25 pews on either side
of the center aisle, which is 75 feet long. (On the east side, there is one row set aside for
access seating.) Often during the year the sanctuary is decorated with seasonal banners
and other items used to enhance worship. These items will not be moved or removed
(or altered in any way) for wedding services.
The Evangelical Lutheran Worship church year follows the life of Christ, beginning with
Advent, and moves through the Pentecost season to the conclusion of the church year
on Christ the King Sunday. To emphasize the proper spirit of each season of the church
year, paraments are placed on the altar and pulpit, and are worn as stoles by the
pastors. They are changed at the specified times of the year and will not be changed for
wedding services. Please note the following colors of the various seasons of the church
year:
Advent – blue (No weddings are scheduled at Central during this reflective season.)
Christmas – white
Epiphany – white
Time after Epiphany - green
Transfiguration – white
Lent – purple (No weddings are scheduled at Central during this contemplative season.)
Easter – white
Pentecost – red
Holy Trinity – white
Time after Pentecost – green
Reformation – red
All Saints – white
Christ the King - white
CANDLES
There are six candles behind the altar on the reredos (the large screen located in front of
the organ). These candles are lit for all worship services. There is also a set of twelve
aisle candleholders which you may choose to use (for an additional $20).
If you plan to include a unity candle ritual, you are responsible for providing the large
center candle. Central will provide a unity candle holder and two, long burning,
dripless tapers. Central provides the tapers to ensure they burn throughout the
duration of the service.
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FLOWERS
Chancel flowers may be placed on either side of the altar or at the base of the pulpit.
Your flower arrangements should be in self-contained vases, or your florist should
provide a stand. Flowers may not be placed on the altar or on unstable stands.
Artificial flowers are not permitted.
You are welcome to have specific flowers or flower arrangements displayed in honor or
memory of loved ones. Please notify your wedding coordinator if you plan to do this,
and make sure to note it in your wedding service folder.
If you would like any of your flowers to remain in the sanctuary for Sunday services
and be noted in the Sunday service folder, please let your wedding coordinator know at
least one month prior to the wedding.
PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY
Photographs in the sanctuary are normally scheduled two hours prior to the start of the
service, and must be completed 45 minutes prior to the start of the service. If you desire
to have some photographs taken after the wedding, you must consult with your Central
wedding coordinator. Videographers must meet with Central’s Sound Operator to set
up and test equipment no later than 45 minutes before the service.
Photos may be taken during the service from the back of the sanctuary or balcony – no
flash photography is permitted. A videographer may record the service from the back
of the sanctuary or balcony. Your wedding coordinator must be aware of your plans for
photography and/or video, and should meet briefly with your photographer and/or
videographer on the day of your wedding. Photographers and videographers must sign
a document confirming they will follow Central’s guidelines.
We discourage members of the assembly from taking photos during the service. If they
feel it is important to do so, they may not use a flash.
MISCELLANEOUS CONCERNS
Central does not permit the throwing of plastic confetti, flower petals (fresh or frozen),
rice, or birdseed either inside or outside the church building. Once the wedding party
is outside, it is permissible to throw bio-degradable paper confetti or to blow bubbles.
Also, Central does not permit live animals (like doves or butterflies) anywhere in the
building, or to be released on the premises. Finally, Central does not permit the use of
an aisle runner, as it poses a significant safety hazard. The floor of the sanctuary is
slightly uneven and the runner often slips on the stone.
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DRESSING ROOMS
Dressing rooms are available for your use on the day of your wedding service. They are
located in the lower narthex, which is below the sanctuary. This and all other rooms
used by the wedding party are to be left in good condition. Any trash should be
cleaned up and disposed of properly before the wedding party leaves the building.
You may bring snacks and/or non-alcoholic beverages for the wedding party on the
wedding day. These items may not be brought the day of the rehearsal and left
overnight. (Please note that Central does not supply plates, napkins, cups, or glasses.)
Food and drink must stay in the lower narthex.
Central will not store any items overnight except for copies of your wedding service
folder and candles.
It is important to assign a person (who is not in the wedding party) to remove all your
belongings from the closets in the dressing rooms and from the lower narthex gathering
area immediately following the service.
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THE MARRIAGE LITURGY
ORDER OF SERVICE
Below is a template of the order of service for Marriage, taken from the Evangelical
Lutheran Worship (ELW), p. 286 – 291. Adjustments and choices will be made via
conversation with the presiding pastor.
Prelude
GATHERING
Procession/Entrance
The assembly stands as the ministers and wedding group enter. Music – hymn, song, psalm,
instrumental music – may accompany the entrance.
Greeting
The presiding minister and the assembly greet each other using these or similar words.
P The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of
the Holy Spirit be with you all.
C And also with you.
The assembly is seated.
Declaration of Intention
The minister addresses the couple in these or similar words, asking each person in turn:
P name , will you have
name
to be your wife/husband, to live together
in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor
and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, be
faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?
Response: I will.
The minister may address the assembly in these or similar words.
P Will all of you, by God’s grace, uphold and care for
in their life together? If so, answer: We will.
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name
and name
Prayer of the Day
The presiding minister leads the following or another prayer of the day.
P Let us pray.
Gracious God, you sent your Son Jesus Christ into the world to reveal your love to
all people. Enrich name
and
name with every good gift, that their life
together may show forth your love; and grant that at the last we may all celebrate
with Christ the marriage feast that has no end; in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
WORD
Readings (See the Scripture section of this guide for options.)
The assembly is seated. Two or three scripture readings are proclaimed. If the service includes
holy communion, the last is a reading from the gospels.
Sermon
Hymn of the Day (See the Hymns section of this guide for options.)
A hymn of the day may be sung.
MARRIAGE
Vows (See the Vows section of this guide for other options)
The couple may join hands. Each promises faithfulness to the other in these or similar words.
I take you, _______name
,
to be my wife/husband from this day forward,
to join with you and share all that is to come,
and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.
OR
In the presence of God and this community,
I,
name , take you, name , to be my wife/husband;
To have and to hold from this day forward,
In joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.
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Giving of Rings (See the Ring Texts section of this guide for other options)
The couple may exchange rings with these or similar words.
Name
, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.
OR
Name , I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow.
With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you,
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Acclamation
The presiding minister addresses the assembly.
P ________name
and
name__
, by their promises before
God and in the presence of this assembly, have joined themselves to one
another as husband and wife.
Those whom God has joined together let no one separate.
Other symbols of marriage may be given or used at this time (i.e. unity candle lighting or floral
presentation to parents). Special music may be offered here.
Marriage Blessing
The couple may kneel. The presiding minister extends a hand over the couple while praying for
God’s blessing in the following or similar words.
P Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love in sending Jesus
Christ to come among us, to be born of a human mother, and to endure the
cross for our sake, that we may have abundance of life.
By the power of your Holy Spirit, pour out the abundance of your blessing on
name
and ___ name ___. Defend them from every enemy. Lead them
into all peace. Let your love be a seal upon their hearts, a mantle above their
shoulders, and a crown upon their foreheads.
Bless them so that their lives together may bear witness to your love. Bless
them in their works and in their companionship; in their sleeping and in their
waking; in their joys and in their sorrows; in their life and in their death.
Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that table where your saints feast
forever in your heavenly home, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and
reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.
C Amen.
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Prayers of Intercession (Optional)
A service without communion continues as follows:
Lord’s Prayer
OR
(1975)
C Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those
who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power,
and the glory are yours,
now and forever. Amen
(1789)
C Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those
who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
Forever and ever. Amen.
OR
If the service includes communion, the pastor will offer the Great Thanksgiving, followed by the
assembly praying the Lord’s Prayer together. Communion distribution occurs. After all have
communed the dismissal blessing is pronounced.
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SENDING
Benediction
The presiding minister proclaims God’s blessing in these or similar words.
OR
P The blessed and holy Trinity make
you strong in faith and love, defend
you on every side, and guide you in
truth and peace, now and forever.
P God Almighty send you light and
truth to keep you all the days of your
life. The hand of God protect you;
the holy angels accompany you; and
the blessing of almighty God, the
Father, the + Son, and the Holy
Spirit, be with you now and forever.
C Amen.
C Amen.
The couple may seal their vows with a kiss.
Introduction of the Couple using their Married Names
A hymn may be sung or instrumental music played as the wedding group and the ministers
depart.
Recessional
Postlude
_________________________________________________________________
Reprinted from Evangelical Lutheran Worship, copyright 2006. Used by permission.
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SCRIPTURE
Below are suggested scripture readings:
Old Testament
Genesis 1.26-31
Genesis 2.18-24
Proverbs 3.3-6
Ecclesiastes 4.9-12
Song of Solomon 2.10-13
Song of Solomon 8.6-7
Isaiah 63.7-9
Jeremiah 31.31-34
Psalms
Psalm 33
Psalm 67
Psalm 100
Psalm 117
Psalm 121
Psalm 127
Psalm 128
Psalm 136
Psalm 150
New Testament Letters
Romans 12.1-2, 9-18
I Corinthians 12.31 - 13.13
Ephesians 3.14-19
Ephesians 5.21-33
Philippians 4.4-9
Colossians 3.12-17
1 John 3.18-23
1 John 4.7-12
Humankind is created by God
Created for relationship
Loyalty and faithfulness written on the heart
The value of two together
The voice of the beloved; Song of two lovers
Many waters cannot quench love
God’s steadfast love lifts up the people
The new covenant of the people of God
The Lord is our help and our shield (33.20)
Let your lovingkindness be upon us, as we have put our
trust in you (33:22)
May God be merciful to us and bless us
We are God’s people and the sheep of God’s pasture (100.2)
Enter the gates of the LORD with thanksgiving (100.3)
The steadfast love of the Lord
The Lord keeps watch over you
Unless the Lord builds the house
Children are a heritage from the LORD (127.4)
Happy are they who follow in the ways of the LORD (128.1)
God’s mercy endures forever (136.1b)
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD (150.6)
A living sacrifice and genuine love
The greatest gift is love
The breadth, length, height and depth of Christ’s love
Walk in love, as Christ loved us
Rejoice in the Lord always
Clothed in compassion, kindness,
meekness and patience
Let us love in truth and action
Let us love one another for love is of God
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New Testament Gospels
Matthew 5.14-16
Matthew 7.21, 24-29
Matthew 19.4-6
Matthew 22.35-40
Mark 10.6-9
John 2.1-10
John 15.9-12
You are the light, let your light shine
A wise person builds upon the rock
What God has united must not be divided
Love, the greatest commandment
They are no longer two but one
The wedding at Cana
Love one another as I have loved you
VOWS
Below are optional vows:
(1)
I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you
and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts
us.
(2)
I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, I promise before God and these
witnesses to be your faithful wife/husband, to share with you in plenty and in
want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to forgive and strengthen
you, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long
as we both shall live.
(3)
____, I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward, to join with you
and to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to
inspire and to respond, and in all circumstances of our life together to be loyal to
you with my whole life and with all my being until death parts us.
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(4)
I, _____, give you my hand this day. I open my mouth to declare before God, our
ancestors, and this congregation, that I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband. I
love you. In bitter days and in days of sweetness, in darkness and in light, in life
and until death, I will walk in step with you. Your concerns will be my concerns.
Your joys will be my joys. We will share our struggles, and we will share our
triumphs. I will be with you all the days of my life. This is my vow. I have
spoken.
(5)
I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in
good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you
all the days of my life.
(6)
I, _____, take you, _____, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from
this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in
health, until death do us part.
(7)
I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband; and I promise, before God and
these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful wife/husband; in plenty and in
want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in heath; as long as we both shall live.
(8)
Before God and these witnesses, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my
wife/husband, and I promise to love you, and to be faithful to you, as long as we
both shall live
(9)
In the presence of God and this community, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my
wife/husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, in joy and in sorrow,
in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as
we both shall live. This is my solemn vow.
(10)
In the Name of God, I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have
and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
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(11)
Or most traditionally, the source of most all English language vows:
I, _____, take thee, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold
from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and
in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy
ordinance; and thereto I (plight) (give) thee my troth.
(12)
I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband. I promise to love you, comfort
you, honor and keep you, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, to
be faithful to you as long as we both shall live.
(13)
I, _____, with love and joy and an honest and open spirit, make with you, _____,
this covenant of marriage before God and this community of friends and family.
I promise to love and trust you, as we share hopes and failures, and to support
and encourage you so that we might grow individually and as a couple. I
promise also to nurture you with faith and tenderness in the name of Christ. I
shall always try to speak the truth to you and to listen with utmost concern for
your desires and needs. I promise to be faithful to you and this pledge
throughout our lives.
(14)
I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband; to be faithful to you in tender
love and honor, offering you encouragement and companionship; and I will live
with you, and cherish you, as love and respect lead me, in the bond of marriage.
(15)
I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will
be faithful to you and honest with you; I will [obey,] respect, trust, help and care
for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been
forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and
God; through the best and worst of what is to come until death parts us.
(16)
I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, I promise before God and these
witnesses to be your faithful wife/husband, to share with you in plenty and in
want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, to forgive and strengthen
you, and to join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long
as we both shall live.
(17)
_____, I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward, to join with you
and to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to
inspire and to respond, and in all circumstances of our life together to be loyal to
you with my whole life and with all my being until death parts us.
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(18)
_____, I promise to share with you the sweet things of life as well as the bitter, to
love you and enjoy you, to respect and encourage you, to listen to you and
promise to strive for a life of courage, faithfulness, and dignity, and to seek
understanding among all people, for as long as we both shall live. In all this, I
ask God to help and guide us.
(19)
_____, I want to live with you just as you are. I will be honest with you and
forgive you… I love you for what you are to me and for what you are to others…
I choose you above all others, and promise to be faithful to you as long as life
endures.
(20)
I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband from this day forward; to be
with you forever in times of joy and suffering, wealth and poverty; I pledge you
my honor, patience and faithfulness, and by the grace of God offer you my
unending love.
(21)
I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband. I promise before God and before this
community to be faithful to you and to share all that is to come. In times of
happiness I will share your joy and laughter. In times of sorrow, I will share your
tears and pain. I will forgive as I have been forgiven. I will love as I have been
loved. I will join with you so that together we may serve God and others as long
as we both shall live.
(22)
I, _____, take you, _____, to be my spouse, to have and to hold from this day
forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law; this is my
solemn vow.
(23)
I, _____, having full confidence that our abiding faith in each other will last our
lifetimes, take you, _____, to be my wedded wife/husband; I promise to be your
loving and faithful wife/husband; in prosperity and in need, in joy and in
sorrow, in sickness and in health, and to respect your privileges as an individual
as long as we both shall live.
(24)
I, _____, give myself to you, _____. By the grace of God, I promise to support and
care for you. In the love of Christ, I promise to love and cherish you. With the
Spirit’s help, I promise to be faithful to you, as long as we both shall live.
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(25)
I take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will
be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for
you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will share my life with
you, through the best and worst of all that is to come, until death parts us.
General counsel about composing original vows or modifying vows:
• The primary promise in Christian marriage is faithfulness to one another.
• Keep your vows simple as possible. You’ll be living with them the rest of your life!
• Don’t promise anything that is impossible. Avoid words like forever, never, only,
always.
RING TEXTS
Below are suggested ring texts:
(1)
I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.
(2)
_____, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.
(3)
I give/take this ring as a sign of our covenant.
(4)
This ring I give you, as a sign of our constant faith and abiding love.
(5)
____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all
that I have, I honor you.
(6)
_____, I give you this ring, as a sign of the covenant we have made today.
(7)
As this ring has no end, my love for you has no end.
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(8)
I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honor you, all that
I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
(9)
_____, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow. With all that I am, and all that
I have, I honor you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy
Spirit.
MUSIC GUIDANCE
Here is some helpful information to make planning music for your wedding a
straightforward and uncomplicated task:
(1)
It is our practice that Central Lutheran Church musicians play for all weddings
held at Central. In rare circumstances musicians other than those employed by
Central may play for weddings. Such requests must be cleared with our cantor
(director of music) or associate cantor (associate musician).
(2)
In most cases Central’s associate cantor plays for weddings. Should she be
unavailable for your wedding date, another of Central’s musicians will be
assigned to play.
(3)
The wedding couple should contact the assigned musician at least two months
before the wedding date to schedule a consultation regarding all the wedding
music. Consultations, included in the musician portion of the church fee,
usually take between 30 and 45 minutes. It is necessary for the couple to be in
contact with the Central musician assigned to their service if any type of music is
to be included.
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(4)
In cases when organ or piano music will not be used (not requiring a Central
musician), the Central musician assigned to the service will be onsite to
coordinate guest ensembles.
(5)
If you are making use of a vocal soloist, instrumentalist, or instrumental
ensemble, it is up to these people to contact the assigned Central musician
directly to arrange rehearsal times. Please note that the musician’s portion of the
church fee covers a brief rehearsal the day of the wedding. Additional rehearsals
may incur additional fees.
(6)
The couple is responsible for delivering printed music for vocal or instrumental
soloists to the Central musician assigned to their service in a timely fashion
(generally not less than two weeks before the wedding date).
(7)
Regarding selection of music, especially vocal solos or choral pieces with text:
Since the wedding service is a service of worship, selections must be appropriate
for use at any church service (i.e. sacred in nature). Save secular selections for use
at the reception. It is the responsibility of Central’s cantor to make final decisions
regarding vocal music with text. Solos to be included in any wedding service
must be submitted to the Central musician assigned to the service no later than
six weeks prior to the date of the wedding—preferably at the time of the
consultation.
(8)
Recordings are sometimes helpful to share during the consultation. On occasion
the musician is presented with requests for playing movements of symphonies,
operas, etc. The nature of the piece plays an important role, as does the
availability of a good organ or piano transcription. Again, it is important to check
with the Central musician assigned to your service as soon as possible if you
think your selection may involve something like this.
(9)
Most often, works written specifically for the organ (or piano) are preferred—
they simply sound the best—not forced. Tried and trusted transcriptions are also
good choices—the consultation is a time when possibilities can be explored.
(10)
No recorded music is permitted in the sanctuary during, before, or after the
wedding service. This includes soloist accompaniments on CD.
(11)
The singing of hymns can be a welcomed addition to the wedding service—
providing those in attendance are likely to sing. Nothing can be as joyous as a
singing congregation or, on the flip side, as tedious as a group of people
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enduring the musician playing four stanzas of a hymn while no one is singing.
Hymns that focus on marriage and community in Christ are especially poignant.
(See the Hymns section below.)
(12)
Please note that soloist and instrumentalist (other than the assigned Central
musician) fees are not included in the Central fee schedule. Soloist and
instrumentalist fees can range anywhere from around $150 to $700. It is the
responsibility of the couple to contact soloists and instrumentalists. Central’s
musicians are happy to provide recommendations. (It is strongly recommended
that couples consult with the Central musician assigned to their service prior to
signing a contract with any outside musical group, if such a group is desired.)
HYMNS
The marriage rite is a liturgy of the Church, celebrated by the local congregation
who offer their witness and support to the couple and who, with them, seek God's
blessings on this marriage. As such, only that which is appropriate for the
worship of God is included in the wedding service. Music is chosen on the basis of
Christian themes of faithfulness, self-giving love, and the seasonal context.
– Worship Wordbook
Below are some suggested hymns:
Abide with Us, Our Savior ..................539
All People that on Earth Do Dwell
(paraphrased Psalm 100) .......................883
Beautiful Savior .....................................838
Come, My Way, My Truth, My Life ...816
For the Beauty of the Earth ..................879
For the Fruit of All Creation
(paraphrased Psalm 136) .......................679
Give to Our God Immortal Praise!
(paraphrased Psalm 136) .......................848
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Hear Us Now, Our God and Father ...585
In Thee Is Gladness ...............................867
Jesus, Come! For We Invite You
(paraphrased John 2).............................312
Joy to the World
(paraphrased Psalm 100) .......................267
Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee ............836
Let All Things Now Living
(paraphrased Psalm 150.6) ....................881
Let Us Ever Walk with Jesus ...............802
Lord, Take My Hand and Lead Me
(paraphrased Psalm 136.12) ...................767
Love Divine, All Loves Excelling........631
Now Thank We All Our God ......839, 840
O God, Our Help in Ages Past
(Psalm 33) ............................................632
Oh, That I Had a Thousand Voices
(paraphrased Psalm 150.6) ....................833
Open Now Thy Gates of Beauty
(paraphrased Psalm 100) .......................533
Our Father, By Whose Name ..............640
Praise, God, from Whom All Blessings
(paraphrased Psalm 150.1) ............884, 885
Praise the Lord! O Heavens .................823
Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
(paraphrased Psalm 100/150) .........858, 859
Sing Praise to God,
the Highest Good ............................871
Songs of Thankfulness and Praise
(paraphrased John 2).............................310
Soul, Adorn Yourself with
Gladness ...................................488, 489
Ubi Caritas et Amor (paraphrased
I Corinthians 13; John 15) ......................642
What Feast of Love ...............................487
Hymn numbers are from Evangelical Lutheran Worship.
YOUR WEDDING SERVICE FOLDER
If you plan to provide an order-of-service for your guests, you will need to arrange for
your own typing and printing. Using the resources in this booklet and the advice of the
Central pastor and musicians, you should be able to provide a helpful source of
information to those attending the service.
The way you design your service folder, from the format to the colors, from the fonts to
text itself, makes a great deal of difference in the worship experience of your guests. A
few beginning pointers:
♦ When you choose a format, consider whether the folder is easy to open and
easy to hold open. Certain ribbons, seals, and stapling can make the folder
challenging to use.
♦ When you look at fonts, font sizes and paper color, think about the oldest
guests who may attend and consider whether the text is easy enough to read
– especially for them.
♦ When you choose how much text to include in the order of service, consider
how familiar your guests are with the liturgy being used. It is strongly
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recommended that congregational responses be included (including the
Lord’s Prayer) and if desired, these responses can be provided by the
Administrative Assistant.
♦ When you look at your layout and what additional content to include, think
about what is appropriate for a worship service folder. Extensive biographies
or personal stories from bridal party members are best saved for the
reception. Brief notes from the bride and groom are appropriate, such as
thanking the guests for being a part of this special celebration or
acknowledging those loved ones whose memories are in your hearts at this
special time.
♦ Including photographs is discouraged.
♦ You may include your new mailing address or directions to your reception.
However, it is preferable that you communicate this to your guests in a
different manner, such as in a service folder insert or on the back of the
folder, rather than in the folder itself.
Please ask your Central pastor or the Administrative Assistant to discuss these
choices with you and show you examples of previous folders so you might be
successful in communicating with the worshiping assembly.
You must provide a draft of your service folder to your Central assigned pastor at
least two weeks before the service and before the full printing, who must approve
your service folder before it is printed.
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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q. When can we have access to the church for the rehearsal and the wedding?
A. Please refer to your confirmation letter for when you have access to the church
for your rehearsal and your wedding. Rehearsals are held from 5:30-6:30pm on the
evening before the wedding, unless it is a holiday or some other exception has
already been discussed. On the day of the service, the party generally has access to
the building 3 hours before the service begins, and for 1 hour after the planned
service start time.
Q. Do weddings and rehearsals usually begin at the scheduled time?
A. Yes. We work very hard to respect your time and your guests’ time, and we
expect that you will too. If significant delays require extra time from our custodial
or security staff, you may be charged an additional fee. (You will not be charged for
any delays that are the responsibility of Central’s staff.)
Q. How long is the wedding service itself?
A. The wedding service will last approximately 30 minutes.
Q. How much time do we have after the service is over?
A. We expect the church will be vacant within one hour after your service begins. If
your wedding begins at 3 p.m. and is over at about 3:30 p.m., the church is usually
empty of your guests by 4:00 p.m. Keep this in mind as you decide how to receive
your guests. Your wedding coordinator will help you with these decisions.
Q. What items can be left at the church on the rehearsal night?
A. The unity candle and programs may be left overnight at the church after the
rehearsal. Central Lutheran Church is not responsible any clothing, jewelry,
electronic equipment, or other valuables left overnight, as well as lost or stolen items
left at the church. Please note that food may not be left overnight.
Q. What about my marriage license and certificates?
A. You may obtain your license and certificate from the county courthouse. You
must bring or mail the license and marriage certificates to the Administrative
Assistant at least 30 days prior to your wedding day. (For more information see the
Marriage License section.)
Q. Is there a waiting period for the marriage license?
A. There is a 5-day waiting period in Minnesota. Also note that your marriage
license is valid for six months after the date of issue. Please consider applying early.
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Q. Does Minnesota require a blood test?
A. No.
Q. Do we need witnesses to our wedding?
A. Yes. The certificate of marriage must contain the signature of the officiant and
two witnesses who must be at least 16 years of age, usually the best man and maid
of honor. The couple is also required to sign the marriage license.
Q. How do I apply for a name change after the wedding?
A. When you apply for your name change on your driver’s license, certificate of
title, or identification card, you will be required to present a certified copy of your
marriage record. Do not file the application to change your name until after the
marriage has taken place. To change your name you will also need your original
Social Security card.
Q. Can our children be included in the service?
A. Yes, we welcome them.
Q. Are there rules about wedding party size?
A. Your wedding coordinator can offer suggestions regarding the size of your
wedding party and how they will be staged in the front of the sanctuary. Generally,
having more than 8 total bridesmaids/groomsmen (in other words, no more than
four of each) is unwise. The placement of so many people is cluttered, and limits
visibility of the couple for members of the assembly.
If you have more than eight people whom you want to participate in your wedding,
consider allowing them to be ushers or greeters. You should have one usher to
every 30 guests if you plan to have guests escorted to their seats. Having greeters
stationed throughout the church will make your guests feel welcomed and help
them find the sanctuary and rest rooms more efficiently.
Q. Is the Lutheran marriage service different from the common conception of
marriage services?
A. The Lutheran marriage service differs from some stereotypes you may want to
consider:
1) It is not part of the Lutheran liturgy (as you may note in the Order of Service
section of this guide) for the pastor to ask, “Who presents this woman to be
married?” (or any variation on that theme). We believe that it is no longer
appropriate to imply that the bride is someone’s property and does not present
herself to be married, of her own free will. So, the question is not asked.
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2) There is also no time in the service when the pastor asks whether anyone
objects to the marriage and tells them to “speak now or forever hold their peace.”
This is another antiquated service element.
3) Another difference between weddings at Central and those in the movies is
that we do not use Wagner’s Bridal March (a.k.a. “Here Comes the Bride”). It is
sometimes considered inappropriate for a marriage service because of its secular
origins (Wagner’s opera “Lohengrin”), but it has also become so cliché that it is
not taken seriously. Most importantly, it was written for orchestra, not organ,
and organ arrangements are not very satisfying to musicians or audiences. There
are many more suitable selections, intended for the organ (or any other
instrumentation you use), and the assigned Central musician will be happy to
make suggestions.
Q. Should we have Holy Communion at our wedding?
A. This is a decision you will want to discuss with your assigned Central pastor.
Communion is a wonderful way to celebrate unity, but it can be challenging at a
marriage service where those in attendance may not share one religious
background. In these circumstances, it may highlight more tension than unity.
If you have communion, the whole assembly is invited to commune. It is not
appropriate to have communion only for the bride and groom. If you do have
communion, you will be asked to provide two to four volunteers to help the pastor
administer communion, often including the bride and groom. Communion is
administered by intinction.
Q. Should we have a unity candle?
A. You may choose to have a unity candle lighting in your service, but you must
provide the center unity candle itself. If you wish to know more about the history
and symbolism of the unity candle, feel free to ask your wedding coordinator or
pastor as you decide whether you wish to include this ritual (or any other ritual)
expressing this new union in your marriage service.
Q. What is the best way to list the members of the wedding party in the service
folder? May I include a brief biography of each member?
A. At the end of the order of service it is appropriate to list all the worship
participants (including ushers, pastors, musicians, wedding party, and others). You
may want to include a one-line description of each person (i.e. “friend of the groom”
or “sister of the bride”). The sharing of biographical information and personal
stories is a good thing to save for the reception. It is not a part of the service that
needs to be printed for your guests in the service folder.
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Q. Can we involve our pets in the wedding?
A. Neither pets nor other live animals of any kind are permitted at Central Lutheran
Church, except for trained service animals.
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THINKING ABOUT YOUR WEDDING SERVICE
(adapted from “Marriage: A Worship Handbook” by Karen G. Bockelman)
Before your last session with your pastor, when you will discuss the details of the worship
service, think about what your marriage means to you. How will the things most important to
you be reflected in the service? Use the questions below to make some notes to prepare you to
plan with your pastor.
How do you understand the wedding as a service of worship?
How do you understand the assembly to be involved in supporting your wedding and
marriage?
What do you want the music to express (though instruments, voice, congregational
singing)? What hymns or other music selections might you choose? (For suggestions and
guidance, see the Music Guidance and Hymns sections of this guide.)
What Bible readings most clearly express for you God’s love, God’s intentions for
marriage and God’s blessings upon those gathered? (For suggestions and guidance, see the
Scripture section of this guide.)
What promises are at the heart of the marriage vow? What words say that best for you?
(For suggestions and guidance, see the Vows and Ring Texts sections of this guide.)
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PASTORAL & WEDDING STAFF
ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT
OFFICE OF THE SENIOR PASTOR
Erica Doss
[email protected]
612-767-9203
PASTORAL STAFF
Richard Nelson, senior pastor
D. Foy Christopherson, associate pastor
Kristen Jacobson, associate pastor
WEDDING COORDINATORS
Karen Snyder
Eunice Dietrich
MUSIC STAFF
Mark Sedio, cantor
Jane Lien, associate cantor
This document can also
be accessed and downloaded from
Central’s website: www.centralmpls.org/worship/lifepassages.php
CENTRAL LUTHERAN CHURCH
in the heart of the city, welcomes all people
to celebrate, discover and share the love of Christ
333 South Twelfth Street • Minneapolis, MN 55404
Office – 612-870-4416 • www.centralmpls.org
8/28/2011
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