The Catholic Voices 10 Principles of Communication
• Look for the positive intention behind the criticism
• Shed light not heat
• People won’t remember what you said as much as how you made them feel
• Show, don’t tell
• Think in triangles
• Be positive
• Be compassionate
• Check your facts, but avoid robotics
• It’s not about you
• Witnessing, not winning
---------------------
• Look for the positive intention behind the criticism
Rather than looking to the argument, look to the value those arguments appeal to,
often a Christian value. Consider early in the discussion how you can appeal to the
value your critic is upholding;
• Shed light not heat
in ourselves and in our manner, we want to represent the Church we belong to:
really listen to other person’s views, show respect, aim to shed chinks of light on
the topic, stay calm;
• People won’t remember what you said as much as how you made them feel
It’s not about fancy words, deft rhetorical manoeuvres or about ‘winning’
the debate: it’s about trying to clarify, to shed light on confusion and misunderstandings about the Church and what it teaches: it’s about the effect your
words will have on other people.
Evaluate afterwards how you think people might feel after listening to me: uplifted
- or battered? Anxious to hear more - or relieved I stopped?
• Show, don’t tell
People prefer stories and personal experiences: show that we live in the world, that
the Church is with the people on the ground, that we are ‘delighted disciples’ with a
story to share, not mindless representatives of a faceless institution;
• Think in triangles
Hone your thoughts down to three key points and don’t stray from them in your
discussion. One point should be looking for the positive intention, the shared value;
• Be positive
The Church is ‘good news’ not a serious of rules and prohibitions - show how the
Church is about living life to the full, about getting the very best for people and
individuals: doesn’t mean just being ‘nice’ - but about bridging the discussion back
to the positive contribution of the Church, rather than defensive: - like anti-slavery
campaigners rather than moralists;
• Be compassionate
This is supposed to be a defining characteristic of Christians - is it? Learn to be
compassionate - even in heated debates: many of our critics have had personal
negative experiences which have left them hurt: God is a common scapegoat: being
aggressive will not help at all. We are not brainwashed callous representatives but
full of humanity;
• Check your facts, but avoid robotics
Good to have facts and figures but avoid statistical ‘ping-pong’ - if you need to use
statistics, make them understandable - and bridge back to the good news story;
• It’s not about you
Leave your ego at home: it’s natural to be nervous but it’s not about MY
performance: do my best to do God’s work, learn from mistakes, and carry on.
“People are not interested in what YOU think; they are interested in what you
THINK.”
• Witnessing, not winning
We want to invite people to see the Church differently “they’re not all crazy then!”
The enemy of witness is the desire to ‘win’ and ‘defeat’ - and ‘us and them’ attitude.
This gets in the way of what we are supposed to be about.