DIALOGUE
Dialogue is conversation on a common subject between two or more persons of differing views. The primary purpose is for each
person to learn from the other in order to grow in our understanding and respect for one another.
In interreligious dialogue we confront and examine the positive and negative images of our own traditions and the traditions of
others, as well as the role of stereotyping in the formation of our opinions and attitudes. Through this process we come to a deeper
understanding of the issues that both divide and unite us, thereby paving the way for cooperation and
collaboration.
adapted from "Dialogue Decalogue," Leonard Swidler
The following groundrules and skills are essential to effective communication within a dialogue.
COMMUNICATION GROUNDRULES FOR INTERRELIGIOUS DIALOGUE
Each participant must agree to honor the rules of confidentiality. You may share only your
experience or feelings outside the group.
Each participant must come to the dialogue with honesty, openness and sincerity.
Proselytizing is never acceptable in the dialogue process.
It is important to remember that when quoting scripture in order to make a point, one is speaking
from his/her personal interpretation, which may be different from that of others in the group.
SPEAKING SKILLS
Use words that others can hear and understand.
Am I conscious of the level of my voice?
Wherever possible, use specific personal examples that relate to the topic being discussed.
Am I willing to share myself and my personal experiences with this group?
Be aware of any need to interrupt a speaker before he/she is finished.
Can I hold my thoughts and opinions until the person is through speaking?
LISTENING SKILLS
Actively and reflectively listen to feelings as well as words.
Do I pay close attention to the person who is speaking?
Practice non-defensive listening.
Do I get angry or upset when I am challenged or hear something with which I disagree?
Be aware of how I use silence in the dialogue.
Do I use it to withdraw, gain attention, protect myself or reflect on what is being said?
Pay attention to your body language.
Does my body say "I'm bored, angry, impatient or in pain?
Be sensitive to cultural differences in assumptions and expectations of communication.
Do I assume everyone is "just like me" with the same communication styles?
GROUNDRULES FOR DIALOGUE
Dialogue is a conversation on a common subject between two or more persons of differing views.
The primary purpose of dialogue is for each person to learn from the other so that he or she can
change and grow. Dialogue is never an opportunity for proselytizing.
In Interreligious Dialogue we confront and examine the positive and negative images of our own
faith and the faith of others, as well as the role stereotyping has played in the formation of our
opinions and attitudes. Through this process we come to a deeper understanding of ourselves and
others.
1. Each participant must come to the dialogue with complete honesty and sincerity.
2. Each participant must assume that the dialogue partner is sincere and honest.
3. Each participant must define oneself as a member of his/her tradition.
4. Each participant must be willing to establish mutual trust, therefore the rules of
confidentiality need to be honored in the group.
5. Each participant must come to the dialogue with no hard and fast assumptions as to where the
points of disagreement are.
6. Each participant in a dialogue must be at least minimally self-critical of themselves and their
own religious traditions.
7. Each participant eventually must attempt to experience the spirit and heart of their partner's
religion. This experience will help one to understand and respect the dignity of the other.
adapted from "Dialogue Decalogue , Leonard Swidler
LISTENING
"Active listening carries a strong element of personal risk. To sense deeply the feelings of
another person, to understand the meaning experiences have for him/her to see the world as
he/she sees it -- we risk being changed ourselves. It is threatening to give up, even
momentarily, what we believe and start thinking in someone else's terms. It takes a great deal
of inner security and courage to be able to risk one's self in understanding another."
Excerpt from 'Active Listening • Carl Rogers and Richard E. Farson
 One who really listens, is searching for understanding of not victory over the other.
 Empathy - feeling with - is the virtue of the good listener. One is able and willing to set
aside one's own views and feelings in order to hear what the other is feeling.
 The active listener does not focus on one's response. Suggesting solutions or offering advice is
not the goal of dialogue.
 The good listener not only hears the words but is constantly aware of the nonverbal
messages: facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
 The active listener withholds judgment of the speaker.