Sample Essay 65 1
Although you have some good information, there are some problems:
1) This is a standard 5-paragraph essay.
2) Much too short! Without footnotes, the essay is under 1000 words. This is much less
than the stated requirements for this essay.
3) Although you have some good facts, you're not really stating a position or convincing
us of anything. For the most part, the essay is explaining an issue. Although you do have
some elements that (begin to) follow the requirements for the essay, your composition for
the most part does not.
SCORE: 65
Composition II
Position Paper
Can Prescription Drugs Be Harmful?
Drug abuse has been a problem that has followed humans throughout history. In
Comment [I1]: Yes, they can be. It's ok to use a
question for your title, but this needs to be
changed.
Comment [I2]: Sweeping statement.
the past 100 years the commonly abused drugs have been marijuana, amphetamines, and
opiates. Recently, prescription medications, also called designer drugs, have become
popular among drug users. Today, as scientists find more cures for different diseases,
Comment [I3]: This paragraph is a bit wordy
and has some filler.
more drugs with the potential to be abused are being produced. College students are not
You can combine and adjust the information
(which might mean omitting a few things) in
these two sentences to create one sentence and
begin your introductory paragraph.
exempt from drug abuse. The more common medications that college students abuse
include “stimulants, opioids, and benzodiazepines.”1 Attention Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder, or ADHD, is a common disorder found in America today. Many students have
been diagnosed with ADHD, and with that comes the widespread prescribing of ADHD
medication. Students without ADHD have begun using these prescription medications for
their benefits, but the drugs can also have harmful effects.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a chemical imbalance that affects the
neurotransmitters in the brain, causing them to be ineffective or unused. The most
common problem is that ADHD affects a student’s ability to “listen, follow directions, or
1
Crosta, Peter. "College Students Using Prescription Drugs Without A Prescription Are Prone To
Drug Abuse." Medical News Today 08 Mar 2008: n. pag. Web. 3 May 2010.
<http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/99921.php>.
Comment [I4]: It's ok to have footnotes, but
they are unnecessary here.
Use parenthetical documentation for this essay.
Sample Essay 65 2
complete assignments” 2 which, in turn, affects their ability to succeed in class. It has
even been know to cause students to have “confusion about goals and the future.”3 In
America today ADHD affects “four out of every one hundred children,”4 and continues to
affect them throughout their lifetime. Luckily there is something to treat these symptoms.
Amphetamines have been used to treat many things in the past, and now are used for the
treatment of ADHD. These medications go by many names including “Ritalin
(methylphenidate), Dexedrine, Adderall (amphetamines) or Strattera.”5 All of these are
used to treat the problem between neurotransmitters in the brain, and can only be
prescribed by a licensed physician. The amphetamine drugs help the students cope with
their inability to concentrate, benefitting them in many aspects of their lives. However,
college students without ADHD have also begun using these medications.
College students in modern society are always in search of a quick fix. This has
lead many into the use of prescription drugs. A study showed that in 2001, “almost 3
million youths ages 12 to 17 and almost 7 million young adults between 18 and 25
reported using prescription medications nonmedically.”6 However, this is not a new
problem. People instinctively search for the easy way out, which prescription drugs can
provide. The amphetamines are abused for one reason, to help a student when they are
not willing to help themselves. Instead of studying a couple nights before a test, students
2
Peacock, Judith. "Chapter One: What Is ADHD and ADHD?." ADHD & ADHD (2002): 4. Book
Collection: Nonfiction. EBSCO. Web. 12 Apr. 2010.
3
College Issues for Students with ADHD." National Resource Center on AD/HD (2009): n. pag.
Web. 12 Apr 2010. <http://www.ADHDresources.org/article_adhd_college_chADHD.php>.
4
Sahley, Billie J. "The A.D.D. Report." MMRC Health Educator Reports (2007): 1-3. Alt
HealthWatch. EBSCO. Web. 12 Apr. 2010.
5
Quinn, Patricia. "Top Ten Things I Wish Students With ADHD (ADHD) Knew About Their
Medication When They Arrive On Campus." ADHDvance: Answers to Your Questions about ADHD
(ADHD). ADHDvance.com, 2004. Web. 12 Apr 2010.
<http://www.ADHDvance.com/help/young_adults/ten_things.html>.
6
Meadows, Michelle. "Prescription Drug Abuse." FDA Consumer 37.2 (2003): 36. Alt
HealthWatch. EBSCO. Web. 12 Apr. 2010.
Comment [I5]: This paragraph is the closest
you come to the purpose for the essay
assignment.
Sample Essay 65 3
wait untill the night before and use the drugs to study throughout the night. Across
college campuses students “have become convinced that [ADHD Medication] will help
them achieve academic success."7 Some students have even started to believe that "if you
don't take them, you'll be at a disadvantage to everyone else."8 Students believe that
prescription medications are synonymous to harmless drugs. Actually, “prescription
drugs are only safe for the individuals who actually have prescriptions for them.” 9 The
benefits of using the drugs to study and do homework outweigh the harmful affects they
can have.
Prescription drugs can cause many problems for people who misuse them. The
most common medication classes that are abused “include opioids (for pain), central
nervous system depressants (for anxiety and sleep disorders), and stimulants (for ADHD
and narcolepsy).”10 Abusing amphetamines “[disrupts] normal communication between
brain cells, producing euphoria, and increasing the risk of addiction.”11 This can cause
students who use these medications to develop a need or addiction to the amphetamines
they are using. There are many other serious health issues that come with the use these
drugs. Amphetamines “increase blood pressure, heart rate, body temperature, and
decrease sleep and appetite.”12 Increased blood pressure and heart rate can lead to cardiac
7
Jacobs, Andrew. "The ADHDerall Advantage." The New York Times (2005): n. pag. Web. 12 Apr
2010. <http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/31/education/edlife/jacobs31.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1>.
8
Jacobs, Andrew. "The ADHDerall Advantage." The New York Times (2005)
9
Green, Nicole. "Prescription Drug Abuse." Teen Health for Nemours. The Nemours Foundation,
Nov 2009. Web. 12 Apr 2010.
<http://kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/drugs/prescription_drug_abuse.html#>.
10
"Prescription Medications." National Institute on Drug Abuse 23 Apr 2010: n. pag. Web. 3 May
2010. <http://www.drugabuse.gov/DrugPages/prescription.html>.
11
"NIDA InfoFacts: Stimulant ADHD Medications - Methylphenidate and Amphetamines."
National Institute on Drug Abuse 2 Oct 2010: n. pag. Web. 3 May 2010.
<http://www.drugabuse.gov/DrugPages/prescription.html>.
12
"NIDA InfoFacts: Stimulant ADHD Medications - Methylphenidate and Amphetamines."
National Institute on Drug Abuse 2 Oct 2010: n. pag. Web. 3 May 2010.
Sample Essay 65 4
arrest and possibly death. Even with high health risks students feel the need to find a way
to attain an upper hand in the ever-more competitive scholastic environment.
Prescription medications are advantageous when properly diagnosed by a doctor.
However, when the medicines become widely available, students may use them for their
benefit without contemplating the risks. Students find the easy way out without
knowledge that they are jeopardizing their health. The simplest solution to the complex
problem of amphetamine and other prescription drug abuse is to spread the facts and raise
awareness about the dangers of all drugs, prescription or not.
Sample Essay 65 5
Works Cited
"College Issues for Students with ADHD." National Resource
Center on AD/HD (2009): n. pag. Web. 12 Apr 2010.
<http:// www.ADHDresources.org/article_adhd_college_chADHD.php>.
Crosta, Peter. "College Students Using Prescrip tion Drugs Without
A Prescription Are Prone To Drug Abuse." Medical News Today 08 Mar
2008: n. pag. Web. 3 May 2010.
<http:// www.medicalne wstoday.com/articles/99921.php>.
Green, Nicole. "Prescription Drug Abuse." Teen Health for
Nemours. The Nemours Found ation, Nov 2009. Web. 12 Apr 2010.
<http://kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/drugs/prescription_drug_abuse.ht
ml#>.
Jacobs, Andrew. "The ADHDerall Advantage." The New York Times
(2005): n. pag. Web. 12 Apr 2010.
<http:// www.nyti mes.com/2005/07/31/education/ edlife/jacobs31.html?_r=
2&pagewanted=1>.
Meadows, Michelle. "Prescription Drug Abuse." FDA Consumer 37.2 (2003): 36.
Alt HealthWatch. EBSCO. Web. 12 Apr. 2010.
Peacock, Judith. "Chapter One: What Is ADHD and ADHD?." ADHD & ADHD
(2002): 4. Book Collection: Nonfiction. EBSCO. Web. 12 Apr. 2010.
Quinn, Patricia. "Top Ten Things I Wish Students With ADHD
(ADHD) Kne w About Their Medication When They Arrive On Campus."
ADHDvance: Answers to Your Questions about ADHD (ADHD) .
ADHDvance.com, 2004. Web. 12 Apr 201 0.
<http:// www.ADHDvance.com/help/young_adults/ten_things.html>.
Sahley, Billie J. "The A.D.D. Report." MMRC Health Educator Reports (2007):
1-3. Alt HealthWatch. EBSCO. Web. 12 Apr. 2010.
Comment [I6]: When inserting a W.C. page,
you need to go to "Insert > Page Break" so that
your W.C. section does not shift downward.
This section should be on its own pages.
Comment [I7]: Do not expand the spacing.
Keep it at regular TNR size 12.