Writing Manual, Compilation v. 05.18.15
MIRA COSTA HIGH SCHOOL
English Department Writing Manual
Preface
The following manual outlines best practices for teachers and students in composing literary
analysis. The concepts provided here are not meant to replace direct writing instruction,
however, and certain teachers may modify their approach based on personal preference or
particulars in the demands of the prompt.
Prewriting
Reading and Dissecting the Prompt
Before beginning any analytical essay, students must fully understand the task required by the
prompt. The steps to do so are listed and then further explained below.
Step 1: Read the Prompt
Read the whole prompt, more than once.
Step 2: Break it Down
Break the prompt down to its simplest format; annotate the prompt for expectations
(circle, underline, highlight key terms and phrases)
Step 3: Draft a Thesis
Respond to the prompt in one or two sentences. Check to make sure your response covers
all aspects of the prompt.
Step 4: Make an Outline
Create an organized list or map of tasks you will need to accomplish over the course of
your essay. Outline length will depend upon the type of assignment.
Step 5: Revisit the Prompt
Make sure all aspects of the brainstorming process address the entire prompt.
Sample Prompt in response to Eugenia Collier’s short story “Marigolds”
Step 1: Read the Prompt
In an insightful, well-organized interpretive essay, analyze how one of the central characters
from the text changes from the beginning of the story to the end, and interpret how this change
contributes to the story’s theme. Identify specific moments in the text and cite textual evidence to
support your claims.
Step 2: Break it Down
In an insightful, well-organized interpretive essay, analyze how one of the central characters
from the text changes from the beginning of the story to the end (1), and interpret how this
change contributes to the story’s theme (2). Identify specific moments in the text and cite textual
evidence to support your claims (3).
(1) “Analyze” requires the student to interpret an element of the story (for this prompt, character
change) as opposed to summarizing the story.
(2) “Interpret” and “theme” require the student to make a connection to the story’s central idea.
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(3) “Identify” and “cite” require the student to incorporate “textual evidence” into the essay to
support the interpretive claims in sections (1) and (2).
Step 3: Draft a Thesis
Thesis statements:
• Assist the reader in understanding how you will interpret the significance of the subject
matter under discussion; in other words, it makes an important argument, which your
essay will then validate through detailed support;
• May act as a ‘road map’ for your essay, giving the reader some understanding of what to
expect from your responses;
• Directly answer all aspects of the prompt;
• Make claims interpreting the meaning of the piece; they are not facts or details about the
story.
Examples:
Fact: Lizabeth changes from destroying Miss Lottie’s Marigolds to crying about
her actions.
Claim: Lizabeth changes from being thoughtless and impulsive to being insightful
and compassionate.
Thesis statements should essentially answer the following two questions:
1. What are you going to prove/demonstrate/illuminate?
2. How are you going to do so? (i.e. what evidence will you provide?)
Note: In addressing the second question, many teachers may request what is called a
‘forecast.’ A ‘forecast’ essentially gives the specific information or evidence that will be
used to demonstrate the thesis. Most often, the forecast will ‘preview’ what is to come in
each body paragraph, and should correlate to each topic sentence.
So, our prompt asks us to identify how the central character in the short story “Marigolds”
changes and how this change links to the story’s theme. Here is a sample thesis generated from
this prompt:
Lizabeth changes from a thoughtless, impulsive child to an insightful, compassionate woman and
this change reveals the story’s theme of loss of innocence.
Note: This is a first draft of a thesis that still needs to be improved upon.
Step 4: Make an Outline
A. Introduction
- Thesis: Lizabeth changes from a thoughtless, impulsive child to and insightful
compassionate woman and this change reveals the story’s theme of loss of innocence.
B. Body 1
- Lizabeth is a thoughtless, impulsive child
C. Body 2
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- Lizabeth begins to change from a thoughtless, impulsive child to an insightful,
compassionate woman
D. Body 3
- Lizabeth is an insightful, compassionate woman
E. Conclusion
Note: The number of body paragraphs you create will depend on the demands of the
prompt.
Step 5: Revisit the Prompt
Reread the prompt and compare it to your thesis and outline. In the above example, we have
addressed a text appropriate to the prompt, identified how that character changes (Lizabeth
changes from a thoughtless, impulsive child to an insightful, compassionate woman) and how
that change relates to the story’s theme (loss of innocence). This satisfies all aspects of the
prompt, as discovered when we broke it down and annotated.
Step 6: Revise Your Thesis
To make sure the thesis draft is complete and detailed, revisit steps 1 and 2 in “Reading and
Dissecting the Prompt” (page 1). Be sure that the written thesis addresses all of the elements
required by the prompt.
Our thesis: Lizabeth changes from a thoughtless, impulsive child to an insightful, compassionate
woman and this change reveals the story’s theme of loss of innocence.
This thesis contains the core elements required by the prompt, but it does not contain a fully
developed theme. The thematic topic “Loss of innocence” is not a complete statement, i.e. it does
not address the author’s perspective of that topic as it appears in the story.
Revise the thesis into a clear statement that addresses all of the prompt. For example:
Amidst her destructive, violet outbursts, Lizabeth changes from a thoughtless, impulsive child to
an insightful, compassionate woman demonstrating that a loss of innocence may result in a
greater understanding of human suffering and a deeper level of empathy.
This thesis is now insightful and complete.
Thesis Statement Constructions to Avoid
Non-Analytical
• Fails to provide specifics of the argument, particularly in connection with the elements of
the prompt:
Lizabeth changes a lot over the course of the story.
Insecure
• Lacks a formal, assertive tone in favor of weak construction:
In my opinion, I believe that Lizabeth may be growing up because she keeps mentioning
that she is fourteen going on fifteen.
Abstract Generalization
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Makes a generalized claim, but not in connection with the prompt:
People become more compassionate as they grow up.
Empty and Vague
• Provides few specifics as to the details of the prompt or evidence being used:
Lizabeth changes from an immature girl to a fully mature woman.
Simple Listing
• Provides few specifics in an attempt to forecast:
Throughout the story, Lizabeth throws stones at Miss Lottie’s garden, hears her dad cry,
and then ruins Miss Lottie’s flowers.
Non-Arguable
• Makes a statement about the text that is incapable of sustaining an argument:
Lizabeth is a young, black girl living in Maryland who grew up to plant marigolds.
•
Introduction
Writing an Introduction Paragraph
The introduction paragraph in an essay of literary analysis functions as follows:
• It focuses the reader’s attention on the topic and arouses curiosity for the reader about
what you, as the writer, have to say.
• It specifies your subject and implies your attitude and tone.
• It provides background necessary to understand the thesis statement.
• It comes to a point with the thesis statement which presents the writer’s specific
argument.
Structure of the Introduction Paragraph
INTRODUCTION
1. Opening Strategy: begin with a general statement
related to the topic (1-3 sentences)
2. TAG: title, author, genre
3. Context/Background: Who? What? Where? When?
(e.g., character, plot, setting)
(2-3 sentences)
4. Thesis:
a. What are you going to
prove?
b. How are you
going to
prove
it?
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Crafting an Opening Strategy
Opening Strategies are the introductory parts of each essay that aim to grab the reader’s
attention. There are many types of opening strategies. The following list provides examples of
possible opening strategies. As is always the case, make sure to check with your teacher as to
which are acceptable in each class.
Examples of Opening Strategies:
1. Begin with a broad, general statement of your topic and narrow it down to your thesis
statement.
At the root of childhood innocence is an ignorance that often obscures the harshness
of reality.
2. Start with an idea or situation that is the opposite of the perspective you will develop.
Many have said that ignorance is bliss.
3. Introduce a relevant incident or brief story; you may connect to a historical event, an
anecdote or analogy, or the author’s personal experiences.
The Great Depression was a devastating event for thousands of Americans, and
children were often forced to grow up very quickly.
4. Use a quotation.
Albert Camus once said “Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence
and an appeal to the essence of being.”
5. Begin with an interesting fact or statistic.
“More than 16 million children in the United States – 22% of all children – live in
families with incomes below the federal poverty level” (nccp.org).
What to Avoid When Composing Hooks or Opening Statements:
• Cliché statements: “Webster’s dictionary defines friendship as …”
• First person point of view: “In this essay, I will show…”
• Rhetorical questions: “Have you ever wondered what would happen…” (Also avoid
addressing the reader)
• Broad generalizations: “Symbolism is a powerful tool used in literature…”
• Mere plot summary, or irrelevant historical or biographical information about the text or
author
• Most attempts at humor, cleverness, or sarcasm
• Apologies: “Even for an expert in literature who is an avid reader, analyzing character
change would be a daunting task. The story is so difficult to read and so filled with
symbolism that comprehending it is nearly overwhelming…”
• Reference to the process of reading: “After turning the pages, the reader begins to feel a
part of the world of…”
Sample Introduction
Let us begin by revisiting the prompt:
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In an insightful, well-organized interpretive essay, analyze how one of the central characters
from the text changes from the beginning of the story to the end, and interpret how this change
contributes to the story’s theme. Identify specific moments in the text and cite textual evidence to
support your claims.
An introductory paragraph to an essay constructed to the above prompt may be crafted as
follows:
At the root of childhood innocence is an ignorance that often hides the harshness of
reality. (1) In the short story “Marigolds” by Eugenia W. Collier, a young protagonist, Lizabeth,
has to confront the hopelessness that exists in her poverty-stricken, Depression-Era shantytown.
(2) As a fourteen-year-old she is unaware of the severity of her situation until the beauty of Miss
Lottie’s marigolds provokes an extreme reaction, which makes her aware of the suffering of
other people. (3) Amidst her destructive, violent outbursts, Lizabeth changes from an ignorant,
selfish child to an insightful, compassionate woman, demonstrating that a loss of innocence may
result in a greater understanding of human suffering and a deeper level of empathy. (4)
(1) Opening Strategy:
(2) TAG: includes title of the story, author, and genre, with transition from hook.
(3) This section provides background information regarding the story, including the
introduction of the main characters, the basic plot, and the conflict in relation to the
question of the prompt – note the movement from general to specific in terms of relevant
details.
(4) This last sentence gives the thesis, as crafted previously, with transition and flow from
previous statements. (It may also include the forecast of the paragraphs that will follow in
the essay response, if required by the teacher.)
Body Paragraphs
Paragraph Organization
Now that the introduction paragraph is completed and gives the reader a clear sense of the
essay’s purpose, provide the details of the argument in support of the prompt. These details,
when organized in a logical structure, compose “the body” of the essay, or argument. Each body
paragraph should address one or more aspects of the thesis statement. The body paragraphs
should be the largest part of your essay.
Each body paragraph should include the following:
1. Topic Sentence/Interpretive Claim
2. Context, or Transition
3. First piece of Textual Evidence (usually in the form of direct quotation)
4. Analysis
5. Context, or Transition
6. Second piece of Textual Evidence (usually in the form of direct quotation)
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7. Analysis
8. Concluding Sentence
Topic Sentences
Also known as an interpretive claim, the topic sentence is the opening statement of each body
paragraph, which serves to expand upon one of the major aspects of the thesis. This sentence is a
specific and detailed assertion that addresses one aspect of the thesis.
Developing a Proper Topic Sentence
Topic Sentences should:
• Support an aspect of the thesis
• Make a claim, NOT state a fact
Examples:
Fact: After Lizabeth destroys the marigolds, she claims that this is when she lost her
innocence.
- Why this is factual: she did destroy the marigolds and she did directly tell the reader
that she lost her innocence. There is no argument; there is nothing that can be disputed.
Claim: In the aftermath of the second attack on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth’s
revelations about the harshness of human suffering and the necessity of compassion mark
her transition into a thoughtful, compassionate woman.
- Why this is a claim: instead of merely pointing out an idea that the author directly
stated, the topic sentence interprets the event’s influence on her perspective and connects
that change to larger thematic ideas.
•
•
NOT just be specific details about the plot, characters, or situations of the text, but should include specific references to the text in support of the claim NOT be generalized statements that can apply to anything or anywhere Examples:
General: As a result of her behavior at the end of the story, she has changed and grown
tremendously.
- Why this is general: it does not specify the type of behavior, how she has changed, or
how she has grown.
Specific: In the aftermath of the second attack on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth’s
revelations about the harshness of human suffering and the necessity of compassion mark
her transition into a thoughtful, compassionate woman.
- Why this is specific: instead of simply referring to her “behavior” in general, the topic
sentence clearly presents the incident that serves as an catalyst to her change. In
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addition, it specifically mentions how she changes and connects those changes to the
broader themes.
Crafting Topic Sentences from the Prompt and Thesis
In order to do this, let us revisit the prompt:
In an insightful, well-organized interpretive essay, analyze how one of the central characters
from the text changes from the beginning of the story to the end, and interpret how this change
contributes to the story’s theme. Identify specific moments in the text and cite textual evidence to
support your claims.
As well as the thesis created from the prompt:
Amidst her destructive, violent outbursts, Lizabeth changes from an ignorant, selfish child to an
insightful, compassionate woman, demonstrating that a loss of innocence may result in a greater
understanding of human suffering and a deeper level of empathy.
The topic sentence of each major body paragraph should be constructed by referring to – and
elaborating on – specific details in the thesis. In order to assure that the topic sentences
continually relate back to the thesis statement of your introduction, make sure to utilize similar
language throughout. Topic sentences that could be derived from the above thesis statement are
as follows:
Body Paragraph 1: Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden
demonstrates her ignorance of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance
to reveal the childish selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story.
Body Paragraph 2: After this first assault on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth experiences the
beginning of a change into a more thoughtful, compassionate person.
Body Paragraph 3: In the aftermath of the second attack on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth’s
revelations about the harshness of human suffering and the necessity of compassion mark her
transition into a thoughtful, compassionate woman.*
The logical structure of the thesis should translate directly to the order of the body paragraphs.
*Note: If students have created a forecast statement, that statement will determine the content
and the order of the essay’s body paragraphs.
*Also note that some claims made in certain paragraphs could be complex – thus, they may need
further development. This secondary sentence might be considered a ‘sub-claim.’
Building an Argument
Introducing Textual Evidence: Context
Once a claim has been established, students must then work to support it with evidence from the
text. However, in order to provide the reader with a solid foundation for understanding the
textual evidence chosen as support – as well as the analysis of that textual evidence – students
will need to provide some context.
Context may include (but is not limited to) the following, dependent upon the type of prompt:
• The basic plot as occurring earlier and immediately within the location of the quotation
• Background information about the narrator, speaker, or character(s)
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•
The narrative or historical situation
A full summary of the text is not needed here – work under the assumption that the reader is
familiar with the text. The context here should be a brief, relevant summary to allow the reader
to know where the piece of evidence appears in the structure of the work.
Sample context built upon the first body paragraph topic sentence given above might look like
the following:
Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden demonstrates her ignorance
of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance to reveal the childish
selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story. In order to relieve their
boredom amidst the midsummer heat, Lizabeth and her friends, without really understanding
why, feel that they…
Textual Evidence: Quotation Integration
When providing textual evidence in support of the topic sentences and the thesis there are a few
things to keep in mind:
1. Evidence should be well-chosen and relevant,
2. Evidence should be more than simple plot-detail,
3. Evidence should illuminate deeper meaning beyond the text,
and
4. Evidence should be integrated into your own authoritative voice.
Students should aim for the most seamless integration possible – the reader should be able to
read the sentence aloud without noticing any transition between the context and the textual
evidence. To do this, students should choose only the most necessary part of the text and
paraphrase surrounding details. The best examples of quotation-integration include some kind of
lead-in statement. Sample levels of integration are as follows:
High-level integration: In order to relieve their boredom amidst the midsummer heat,
Lizabeth and her friends, without really understanding why, feel that they “had to annoy
[Miss Lottie] by whizzing a pebble into her flowers or by yelling a dirty word, then
dancing away from her rage, reveling in [their] youth and mocking her age” (3).
Mid-level integration: Lizabeth and her friends said, “we had to annoy her by whizzing a
pebble into her flowers or by yelling a dirty word, then dancing away from her rage,
reveling in our youth and mocking her age.”
Non-integration: “We had to annoy her by whizzing a pebble into her flowers or by
yelling a dirty word, then dancing away from her rage, reveling in our youth and mocking
her age."
Sample integration built upon the first body paragraph topic sentence and context above might
look like the following:
Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden demonstrates her ignorance
of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance to reveal the childish
selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story. In order to relieve their
boredom amidst the midsummer heat, Lizabeth and her friends, without really understanding
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why, feel that they “had to annoy [Miss Lottie] by whizzing a pebble into her flowers or by
yelling a dirty word, then dancing away from her rage, reveling in [their] youth and mocking her
age” (3).
Illuminating Your Argument: Analysis
Once evidence has been presented, students will need to explain what it represents on a deeper
level. Students will want to give “what this quotation shows” without using the phrase “this
quotation shows.” The analysis should explain what the evidence demonstrates in relation to the
topic sentence and the thesis. Students should aim to connect the quotation to the context. Keep
in mind, this is the hardest part of the essay – it is here where students demonstrate learning,
show understanding, and make connections beyond the simple wording of the text. This should
be the longest part of the paragraph, and should be argumentative, clear, and explicit; students
should not simply assume that the reader will figure out what the quotation is showing in relation
to the thesis by the simple act of presenting it.
Sample analysis built upon the first body paragraph topic sentence, context, and textual evidence
above might look like the following:
Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden demonstrates her ignorance
of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance to reveal the childish
selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story. In order to relieve their
boredom amidst the midsummer heat, Lizabeth and her friends, without really understanding
why, feel that they “had to annoy [Miss Lottie] by whizzing a pebble into her flowers or by
yelling a dirty word, then dancing away from her rage, reveling in [their] youth and mocking her
age” (3). On one hand, the pebble-throwing and name-calling reveal the cruelty of the children’s
behavior, while the childish “dancing away” from Miss Lottie indicates an ignorance to how
their actions affect her. Feeling young and invincible, Lizabeth lacks respect for Miss Lottie’s
age and an understanding of the important role that the marigolds play in her life.
Note: You need to include two pieces of evidence per paragraph, so before you conclude,
provide another block of context, evidence, and analysis. (See sample paragraph below.)
Concluding Statements: Completing the Body Paragraph
Although sentences need to be working to support the thesis throughout, students may need to
explicitly connect to the main argument of the paragraph in relation to the overall direction of the
thesis statement. This section may not be necessary if the analysis includes clear connections to
the thesis (and – depending upon the prompt – the theme of the work). If the thesis statement
points out a theme, this may be a good place to connect it to your argument – if you have not
done so already.
Sample Body Paragraph
The completed paragraph, based on the given prompt and thesis, may look as follows (Note: the
page citations have been removed to avoid confusion with the numbered elements of the
paragraph):
Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden demonstrates her
ignorance of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance to reveal the
childish selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story. (1) In order to
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relieve their boredom amidst the midsummer heat, Lizabeth and her friends, without really
understanding why, feel that they (2) “had to annoy [Miss Lottie] by whizzing a pebble into her
flowers or by yelling a dirty word, then dancing away from her rage, reveling in [their] youth and
mocking her age.” (3) On one hand, the pebble-throwing and name-calling reveal the cruelty of
the children’s behavior, while the childish “dancing away” from Miss Lottie indicates an
ignorance to how their actions affect her. Feeling young and invincible, Lizabeth lacks respect
for Miss Lottie’s age and an understanding of the important role that the marigolds play in her
life. (4) As the encounter escalates, Miss Lottie’s “impotent rage” provokes an uncontrollable
impulse in Lizabeth to shift her attack from the marigolds to Miss Lottie herself, further
revealing her ignorance and selfishness (5): “Then I lost my head entirely, mad with the power of
inciting such rage, and ran out of the bushes in the storm of pebbles, straight toward Miss Lottie,
chanting madly, ‘Old witch, fell in a ditch, picked up a penny and thought she was rich!’” (6)
Lizabeth once again attacks Miss Lottie from a state of thoughtlessness, demonstrated by the fact
that she had “lost [her] head” and gone “mad” with power. This rare, overwhelming feeling of
power for young Lizabeth blinds her to the fact that she is abusing a defenseless old woman. (7)
Unaware of the reasons behind her actions and the effects they have on Miss Lottie, Lizabeth
remains in a state of immature selfishness, failing to see that the power she feels comes at the
expense of someone else’s suffering. (8)
1. Topic Sentence: includes reference to thesis, and expands upon the idea with specific
examples
2. Context: gives specific details regarding the situation of the text surrounding the textual
evidence selected
3. First Piece of Textual Evidence: note the integration using a lead-in.
4. Analysis: explicitly introduces information regarding the evidence’s purpose in serving
the thesis.
5. Context: gives specific details regarding the situation of the text surrounding the textual
evidence selected
6. Second Piece of Textual Evidence: note the integration using a lead-in.
7. Analysis: explicitly introduces information regarding the evidence’s purpose in serving
the thesis.
8. Concluding Statement: connects the main idea of the paragraph to the thesis.
Note: Essays require more than one body paragraph. The number of body paragraphs will be
determined by the demands of the prompt and the complexity of your thesis.
Conclusions
The conclusion paragraph, while considerably more open-ended than the other parts of the essay,
serves an essential purpose. The conclusion paragraph in an essay of literary analysis functions
as follows:
• It brings closure to the essay and clarifies the main claims of the argument by restating
the thesis and echoing the introduction and body paragraphs without listing the points
covered in the essay, and;
• It creates a broader implication of the ideas discussed and answers the questions: so
what? Or why do we care?
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Consider the following steps:
1. Bring the main point of the essay into sharp focus.
To do this, you may begin with a summary of the main points of the essay or a re-worded
statement of your thesis.
Thesis statement: Amidst her destructive, violent outbursts, Lizabeth changes from an
ignorant, selfish child to an insightful, compassionate woman, demonstrating that a loss
of innocence may result in a greater understanding of human suffering and a deeper level
of empathy.
Re-statement for conclusion: After her childish destruction of the marigolds, Lizabeth
becomes aware of the anguish of others.
2. Gratify your reader with at least one NEW idea.
First, re-read your essay. The thesis you have chosen should have strong support from the
evidence you’ve provided. Then, ask yourself any of the following questions in order to
decide what this new idea should be:
• What is the significance of my thesis?
• What are the implications of my thesis?
• What broader application does my thesis have to life in general? To other
situations? To the underlying theme? To the meaning of the title?
• What further insight do I now have into my thesis?
• What meaning has the author imparted that can be realized as a result of
examining work through the lens that focused on my thesis?
3. Give your ending emotional impact. Conclude with a striking statement.
This statement could be a true conclusion drawn from the rest of the conclusion
paragraph, a broader implication of the subject, an opinion based on the previous
discussion, a prediction or forecast, or a final statement of the meaning of the story or its
title.
What to Avoid in Constructing the Conclusion
Avoid:
• Simply restating the thesis and main points of your essay in an over-generalized manner
• Globalizing or making sweeping generalizations that extend far beyond the limits of your
argument
• Leaving your reader with unanswered questions
• Asking pointless, or rhetorical, questions
• Inserting random or illogical ideas that are not addressed, or even inferred, by the body of
your paper
• Making apologies
• Making melodramatic statements
• Using hyperbole
• Beginning with phrases like “In conclusion,” or “To conclude.”
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Organization
Organization of the conclusion paragraph should be similar to the introduction in that it ranges
from general to specific; you do not need to repeat the arguments you make in the exact order
outlined by your body paragraphs, but make sure the general idea is revisited in a logical fashion.
Like the introduction, the conclusion acts as a ‘bookend’ to the heart of your argument. Unlike
the introduction, however, the conclusion moves from specific to the much broader implications
of meaning.
Structure of the Conclusion Paragraph
Sample Conclusion
Let us begin by revisiting the prompt:
In an insightful, well-organized interpretive essay, analyze how one of the central characters
from the text changes from the beginning of the story to the end, and interpret how this change
contributes to the story’s theme. Identify specific moments in the text and cite textual evidence to
support your claims.
Let us also review the basic points of the argument of our samples:
Thesis:
Amidst her destructive, violent outbursts, Lizabeth changes from an ignorant, selfish child to an
insightful, compassionate woman, demonstrating that a loss of innocence may result in a greater
understanding of human suffering and a deeper level of empathy.
Topic Sentence 1:
Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden demonstrates her ignorance
of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance to reveal the childish
selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story.
Topic Sentence 2:
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After this first assault on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth experiences the beginning of a
change into a more thoughtful, compassionate person.
Topic Sentence 3:
In the aftermath of the second attack on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth’s revelations about the
harshness of human suffering and the necessity of compassion mark her transition into a
thoughtful, compassionate woman.
A conclusion paragraph to an essay constructed to the above prompt may be crafted as follows:
After her childish destruction of the marigolds, Lizabeth becomes aware of the anguish of
others. She recognizes that her violent behavior arises from her own selfishness and ignorance
and that understanding and empathy allow her to see the adults around her in an entirely new
way. She sees her father not as a stable, secure center of the family, but as another human
susceptible to the harshness of reality. She views Miss Lottie not as a witch, but as a woman
who suffers from a pain similar to her own. In accepting the difficulty of her own situation,
Lizabeth understands Miss Lottie’s efforts to create beauty out of desolation. In her childhood
ignorance, Lizabeth sees only the “perfect ugliness” of the marigolds, but as an empathetic
woman, she grasps the significance of their beauty and the beauty of compassion itself.
Terms and Style Guide
Common Terminology for Essay Writing and Expectations
Terms about Introductions
Opening Strategy
• Alternate Terms: Opener, Opening Sentence, Hook
• Basic Definition: The first sentence of an introductory paragraph in an essay that clearly
connects to the content of the essay. This initial sentence draws in the reader and orients
the reader to the general topic of the essay.
Contextual or Background Sentence(s)
• Alternate Terms: “TAG” (“Title, Author, Genre”) Sentence, Pivot Sentence, Textual Tiein, Background Information, Thesis Lead-in
• Basic Definition: The sentence(s) in the middle of the introductory paragraph are where
the writer introduces the title, author, and genre of the work. The function of these
sentences is not only to introduce the work, but also to connect with the opening ideas
established in the opening of the paragraph. These sentences should provide contextual
information that is relevant to the thesis statement (thesis lead-in).
Thesis Statement
• Alternate Terms: Main argument (of essay), interpretive claim (of essay)
• Basic Definition: A statement that covers the main claims that the writer will assert in the
essay as connected to the prompt. The length of this statement could range from one
sentence to a few sentences depending on the complexity of the prompt (and the
expectations of the teacher).
• Expectations: Must provide an interpretive claim (must be debatable), must center on
ideas rather than facts, must clearly address the prompt. The thesis statement should
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generally come at the end of the introduction. The thesis might include a forecast (or
serve as a road-map for) the main points of the essay.
Terms about Body Paragraphs
Topic Sentence
• Alternate Terms: Interpretive claim (of paragraph), main argument (of paragraph), main
support
• Basic Definition: The first sentence of a body paragraph that addresses a claim derived
from the thesis
• Expectations: The writer must provide an interpretive claim; in essence, the writer must
present a point that he/she will prove in the paragraph. Must center on ideas rather than
facts (no plot points), must directly be tied to the text (should not resemble a hook).
Quotation Context
• Alternate Terms: Transition, Quotation Embedding, Quotation Set-up
• Basic Definition: The contextual information or commentary that serves as a smooth
transition between the claim and the supporting evidence
• Expectations: If the supporting evidence is a quotation, then the writer must include
sufficient contextual information needed to understand the evidence (this may include:
who is speaking, to whom that person is speaking, when this quotation is occurring
within the text, etc.).
Quotation Lead-in
• Alternate Terms: Stem, Anchor, Quotation integration
• Basic Definition: Provides a smooth transition from the context to the presentation of the
quotation.
• Expectations: Students should work to fluidly move from their prose to the quoted
material.
Textual Evidence
• Alternate Terms: Concrete details, supporting details, quotations, paraphrase, plot
references, textual support, supporting evidence, proof
• Basic Definition: The specific examples or quotations from a given text that students use
as evidence to support their claim(s).
• Expectations: Strong textual evidence offers ample room for deep interpretation.
Quotations should be selected for their relevance to the thesis. Writers should provide
only the relevant parts of quotations necessary to prove their analysis and claims. Writers
must integrate quotations in a fluid and grammatically correct manner.
Analysis
• Alternate Terms: Commentary, Interpretation, Evaluation (if appropriate), Insight
• Basic Definition: The interpretation of the significance of the textual evidence and its
relevance to the thesis.
• Expectations: Strong analysis should persuasively validate the main claims of the topic
sentence (and, by extension, the thesis), and avoid generalities. Strong analysis
showcases close reading and observational skills that dissect the quotations. This may
include using direct references to the language of the quotations; analyzing ambiguities,
complexities, contradictions, and nuance; identifying and analyzing the usage of literary
devices; and illuminating historical, political, philosophical, and social commentary.
Concluding Sentence
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•
Basic Definition: The final sentence of a body paragraph that connects the main idea of
the paragraph back to the essay’s thesis.
Terms about Conclusions
Concluding Paragraph
• Alternate Terms: Conclusion
• Basic Definition: The final paragraph in which students restate their thesis, summarize
body paragraph points, and offer a final insight for the reader.
• Expectations: The conclusion paragraph serves similar purposes as the introduction, only
the order of information is typically reversed. Where the introduction should start broadly
and end with a specific thesis, the conclusion should start with a restated thesis and
broaden to larger ideas. Thesis must be expressed with new, original phrasing so that it is
not redundant. Once writers have reiterated your thesis, they should briefly summarize
the principal points of the body paragraphs in order to provide an overview of their main
arguments. The last piece of insight can include larger societal or historical implications,
provided it supports previous ideas from the essay and works organically within the
scope of your topic.
Style - Basic Guidelines and Tips for MLA Formatting
Formatting Your Document:
Margins:
• 1 inch, all the way around (except for the header)
• In Word, either double click on margins, or go to “Format” > “Document”
Spacing:
• Everything is double-spaced
• Do not add additional spaces before/after paragraphs, titles, or anything else
• In Word, go to “Format” > “Paragraph” to adjust anything as needed
General:
• Type everything in 12 point, Times New Roman font
• Center your title after you have provided your heading, no bold or emphasis
Heading:
Appears only on the first page, on the left hand side of the document, and should feature the
following information in the following order:
• Your name
• Your teacher’s name (i.e. Mr. Smith)
• Your course title (i.e. English 9 College Prep)
• The due date with day, month (spelled out), year (i.e. 24 September 2013)
Header:
• Appears on every page (including your Works Cited page) against the right margin, .5
inches from the top
• Should feature your last name and the page number
• In Word, go to “View” > “Header and Footer” and make sure you insert page #
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Internal Citations:
• After any quote or researched information, you must provide an internal citation
• For literary works, this means using the author’s last name and page number in
parentheses with a space between the two, but no p. or pg. or commas (Smith 5).
• If you only have one work being referenced, you may just use page numbers.
Works Cited:
• Your final page must be a Works Cited page that includes the full bibliographic
information for any resource that you cited in your text
• Retain basic margins and other formatting elements
• Double-spaced, but no extra spacing between entries
• Entries need to be alphabetized
• If entries exceed one line, subsequent lines should use hanging indents
• Should be titled “Works Cited” (centered)
Information for what to include in your bibliographic entries can be found:
• http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/
• In The MLA Handbook (always available for use in the library)
Sample Essay Response
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Student 1
Sample Student
Teacher’s Name
Course Title
Date
Desperate Beauty
At the root of childhood innocence is an ignorance that often hides the harshness of
reality. In the short story “Marigolds” by Eugenia W. Collier, a young protagonist, Lizabeth, has
to confront the hopelessness that exists in her poverty-stricken, Depression-Era shantytown. As a
fourteen-year-old she is unaware of the severity of her situation until the beauty of Miss Lottie’s
marigolds provokes an extreme reaction, which makes her aware of the suffering of other people.
Amidst her destructive, violent outbursts, Lizabeth changes from an ignorant, selfish child to an
insightful, compassionate woman, demonstrating that a loss of innocence may result in a greater
understanding of human suffering and a deeper level of empathy.
Lizabeth’s thoughtlessness in her first attack on Miss Lottie’s garden demonstrates her
ignorance of the cruelty of Miss Lottie’s suffering; Collier uses this ignorance to reveal the
childish selfishness that characterizes Lizabeth at the beginning of the story. In order to relieve
their boredom amidst the midsummer heat, Lizabeth and her friends, without really
understanding why, feel that they “had to annoy [Miss Lottie] by whizzing a pebble into her
flowers or by yelling a dirty word, then dancing away from her rage, reveling in [their] youth and
mocking her age” (3). On one hand, the pebble-throwing and name-calling reveal the cruelty of
the children’s behavior, while the childish “dancing away” from Miss Lottie indicates an
ignorance to how their actions affect her. Feeling young and invincible, Lizabeth lacks respect
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Student 2
for Miss Lottie’s age and an understanding of the important role that the marigolds play in her
life. As the encounter escalates, Miss Lottie’s “impotent rage” provokes an uncontrollable
impulse in Lizabeth to shift her attack from the marigolds to Miss Lottie herself, further
revealing her ignorance and selfishness: “Then I lost my head entirely, mad with the power of
inciting such rage, and ran out of the bushes in the storm of pebbles, straight toward Miss Lottie,
chanting madly, ‘Old witch, fell in a ditch, picked up a penny and thought she was rich!’” (3).
Lizabeth once again attacks Miss Lottie from a state of thoughtlessness, demonstrated by the fact
that she had “lost [her] head” and gone “mad” with power. This rare, overwhelming feeling of
power for young Lizabeth blinds her to the fact that she is abusing a defenseless old woman.
Unaware of the reasons behind her actions and the effects they have on Miss Lottie, Lizabeth
remains in a state of immature selfishness, failing to see that the power she feels comes at the
expense of someone else’s suffering.
After this first assault on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth experiences the beginning of
a change into a more thoughtful, compassionate person. The roots of Lizabeth’s empathy begin
to appear as she reacts with shame and confusion to the mockery of Miss Lottie and to the
suffering of her father, both of which expose her to painful adult realities. After her initial attack
on Miss Lottie, Lizabeth remembers, “Suddenly I was ashamed, and I did not like being
ashamed. The child in me sulked and said it was all in fun, but the woman in me flinched at the
thought of the malicious attack that I had led” (3). The shame that Lizabeth feels is the first sign
of an emerging sense of empathy for the pain Miss Lottie has experienced, a new feeling that
allows her to identify her actions as a “malicious attack.” Lizabeth is still in the midst of change,
however, as the ignorant “child” in her, attempting to deny the responsibilities of her actions,
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Student 3
tries to continue to believe that her behavior “was all in fun.” The next critical moment in
Lizabeth’s coming to terms with the reality of human suffering goes beyond a mere childish
prank. Later that day, she witnesses her father weeping “helplessly and hopelessly in the dark
night” over his continuing failure to find steady employment (4). Seeing her father “sobbing like
the tiniest child” causes Lizabeth to experience a “feeling of great bewilderment and fear,” which
leads to “one great impulse toward destruction” (4). Lizabeth begins to understand the depth of
her father’s suffering, but she is unable to fully accept this painful truth. Life becomes
momentarily “out of tune” for Lizabeth when she grasps, seemingly for the first time, that her
own suffering in this situation is caused by someone else’s suffering, her father’s. This marks her
entrance into adulthood as she begins to understand that adults are flawed and fragile, forcing her
to confront the problems of the adult world. The “bewilderment and fear” provoked by her
father’s suffering drives Lizabeth to take her own suffering out on someone else, resulting in the
ruin of Miss Lottie’s beautiful garden.
In the aftermath of the second attack on Miss Lottie’s marigolds, Lizabeth’s revelations
about the harshness of human suffering and the necessity of compassion mark her transition into
a thoughtful, compassionate woman. After witnessing Miss Lottie’s reaction to Lizabeth’s
destruction of her most prized possession, Lizabeth realizes the depths of Miss Lottie’s pain:
“For as I gazed at the immobile face, with the sad, weary eyes, […] the witch was no longer a
witch but only a broken old woman who had dared to create beauty in the midst of ugliness and
sterility” (5). Once the marigolds are destroyed, Lizabeth’s childish notion of Miss Lottie being a
witch is destroyed as well. She sees the sad reality of Miss Lottie’s pain and appreciates her
attempt to “create beauty” in a barren world of hopeless poverty. Though Lizabeth is unable to
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Student 4
explain the significance of this realization as a child, reflecting on it as an adult, Lizabeth can
articulate the wisdom she obtained in the moment of her change: “Innocence involves an
unseeing acceptance of things at face value, ignorance of the area below the surface. In that
humiliating moment, I looked beyond myself and into the depths of another person” (5).
Lizabeth recognizes her loss of innocence once she comprehends the true meaning of innocence
itself, namely that innocence consists of perceiving things from an ignorant perspective, whereas
maturity requires seeing things as they truly are. Once she looks “beyond herself” and sees
outside the scope of her own emotions and struggles, Lizabeth can perceive the severity of Miss
Lottie’s emotions and struggles. The shame that Lizabeth feels for contributing to Miss Lottie’s
burden marks Lizabeth’s ability to move beyond her selfish, childish ignorance. Seeing beyond
her own situation and feeling compassion for another person, Lizabeth now possesses the
emotional maturity to understand and empathize with another person’s suffering.
After her childish destruction of the marigolds, Lizabeth becomes aware of the anguish of
others. She recognizes that her violent behavior arises from her own despair and that
understanding and empathy allow her to see the adults around her in an entirely new way. She
sees her father not as a stable, secure center of the family, but as another human susceptible to
the harshness of reality. She views Miss Lottie not as a witch, but as a woman who suffers from
a pain similar to her own. In accepting the difficulty of her own situation, Lizabeth understands
Miss Lottie’s efforts to create beauty out of desolation. In her childhood ignorance, Lizabeth sees
only the “perfect ugliness” of the marigolds, but as an empathetic woman, she grasps the
significance of their beauty and the beauty of compassion itself.
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