The Lord is My Shepherd
By
Alf Droy
Index
Chapter 1 - My Formative Years
1
Chapter 2 - Out of the Frying Pan - into the Refiner’s Fire
21
Chapter 4 - Pub Evangelism.
77
Chapter 3 - Shepherded into Evangelism.
Chapter 5 - A Time of Testing and Reflection.
Chapter 6 - Israel My Israel
Glossary
39
99
111
155
Preface
I’ve known Alf Droy for 13 years and I can safely say that I have never before or since known
anyone quite like him!
There’s no doubt that anyone who meets Alf will never forget him. He’s a man full of passion
for life. He’s supportive, kind and willing to do anything for those he knows to be in need. He’s
a great laugh, able to enjoy a ’wind up’ with people form all sorts of backgrounds. He’d be
great value in any company.
When you read his life story you’ll see why! He’s experienced an awful lot of very difficult
experiences and yet has come through to this stage of life with a joy and purpose outstanding
to all who know him. Why? Because he came to trust in Jesus Christ in the most amazing
circumstances and with the most radical of personal consequences. It’s a great story!
Finally, let no-one assume that Alf Droy is anyone’s ‘pushover’. He combines a warm, witty
and gentle personality with opinions which he holds on to like a dog with a bone! Some of his
theological opinions are very controversial and have received little favour, and are certain to
polarise the readers’ opinions. Whatever your theological conclusions, having read the book
you will know that in meeting Alf Droy you will have met one of the most interesting men in
Cambridge today!
Graham Daniels
Director of Christians in Sport
Introduction
This autobiography is dedicated to my children, Kim, Leigh and Kerry from my first marriage
of 20 years duration to Pam, and to Daniel from my second marriage to Pauline which is still
enduring after 30 years. Pauline is not only a loving supportive wife to me, but she has warmly
demonstrated her love and concern for others throughout our marriage. Most children inherit
money and family possessions on the death of a relative, but I believe this book may provide
the key to eternal life to my progeny. Perhaps in future the children of my grandchildren Amelia,
Louise and Richard will enjoy reading of their grandfather from the 20 th century and of my
lifestyle customs and history. My nephew Andrew Hoare will regard this book as a valuable
inheritance as his grand-parents and parents have already died, leaving only memories and
photographs which fade with time. Hopefully this book, primarily written for my relatives might
encourage others into following Christ.
I hesitated about publishing this book, not because the message contained was weak or
irrelevant, but because I thought, there was too much of me, and too little of Christ’s offer of
eternal life contained in it. However, the Lord has released me to give free expression of what I
accept He has accomplished through my life changing experience, whilst giving me a greater
liberty than I have ever been aware of at any earlier time; freeing me to testify to His grace
given to me, and His outstretched welcoming arms to all others who would receive Him,
perhaps having been influenced by something I have written.
I make no apology for my gratitude in the Christ who died for me, and it would be
dishonouring to His name, if I did not testify to the fullness of His Grace. I pray that this book
may cause some people to realise that the remaining period of their life is likely to be shorter
than the life they had previously lived. Contemplating one’s mortality might cause the outwardly
rebellious of following obedience to God, or to the inwardly resentful sullen majority who appear
to accept Biblical instruction is not a situation that they would repent from observing. No person
is born a believer, so I am writing of 100% of humanity, who have rejected God, in their
stubborn obduracy to deny that their own mortality was a decision of a higher authority. May
the reader be encouraged by my experiences of how the Lord has carried me into lofty places,
through provoking me to exercise my own tiny spiritual muscle. I do not consider myself in any
way superior, or for that matter any less loved by God than any other being, but I know that it is
God’s will that everybody should be saved through their discipleship of Him. In the early days
of my conversion I had felt embarrassed at my inadequacy, causing me to remain silent or
inactive when I have clearly heard what action I should take. I am commanded to examine
Biblical scholar’s interpretation of Bible passages, and also of those in full-time ministry, who
through the very nature of their position direct attention over how we should interpret Bible
passages, when they differ from my own understanding. This was how the prophets of the Old
Testament revealed what God was saying when the politicians of their day were advocating
obedience to conduct not in line with God’s will.
Foreword
n
Chapter 1 - My Formative Years
1
My mother and father had been childhood sweethearts, attending the same school into their
teenage years. It was perhaps inevitable that their love climaxed through sexual intercourse,
my birth was the result I was conceived out of wedlock. My parents married on All Fool’s Day,
April 1st 1934, and I was born on 22nd September in that year, at 25 Gerrard Road, Islington,
which is within the sound of Bow Bells, therefore I am a ‘Cockney’, as anyone who has heard
me speak will discern, and so I was not what was euphemistically referred to as a ‘love-child’,
which back in the 1930’s bore a stigma, which was nicer expression than ‘bastard’. No
members from my father’s side of the family attended my parent’s wedding, Dad’s family
disapproving of the union; considering themselves of higher social standing. Granddad Trixie
was a turf accountant with seven children through his marriage to Grandma Cissie Droy, they
disinherited me, the first male child born to one of their descendants. I have since
acknowledged a spiritual Father who will never reject me, and has promised me eternal life and
an adoption into His family. Trixie’s brother Harry Droy was the boxing promoter at the
Caledonian Road Baths, and their parents had supported many of their children into becoming
street traders (barrow boys). Amongst the local community they were considered as a
successful family line. My Mum’s parents, Granddad and Nanny Rosam, (Harry and Maude)
were poor (I believe without proof that Harry Rosam had been the son of a Polish Jewish
immigrant, they did not complain of the adversities in their life. Mum often repeated the tale that
one particularly cold winter, during the years that Granddad Rosam was unemployed; he used
to hope for snow to fall, so that he could earn a few pence by clearing the snow from the
pavements for the London County Council (LCC). Many years later Mum told me that both she
and her parents had often had need to leave possessions with pawnbrokers in order to borrow
money temporarily. Until that conversation I had never realised that my parents had struggled
financially to keep free from debt. Granddad travelled many miles on foot on hearing that
workers were being ‘taken on’ for a job. He finally found regular employment as a maintenance
man, with the Pearl Assurance Group, based in High Holborn, a job that lasted until his
retirement. Mum’s elder brother Harry had died in infancy of meningitis. My grand-parents also
had two surviving sons to provide for; my Uncles Albert and Charlie. Albert had developed
poliomyelitis at 13 months, this left him with a wasted and shortened right leg resulting in his
walking with a bad limp. He attended what he called a ‘school for cripples’ for most of his
school life. The 1930’s was a time when back-street abortionists operated in unsanitary
conditions with non-sterilised instruments, and no after care being provided, often leading to
post-operative complications. Many an unfortunate impregnated female, seeking an abortion,
for a variety of reasons, risked not only their health, but their life in restoring their wish to
appear ‘unsullied’. Not for me a return to the good old days, but I am appalled at the present
abortion laws in Britain, which were introduced to stop the earlier tragedies but have led to a
greater carnage. Thankfully no stigma is attached at the turn of the 20th century to being born
out of wedlock, but I am appalled at the number of women I read of who have borne children to
a succession of different fathers, and expect to be housed at the expense of tax-payers. I was
too tongue-tied and embarrassed at the though of telling my parents how grateful I was to be
born to them, but I hope I communicated my love for them in meaningful ways. Not long after
my parents married, Mum resigned from her back breaking job with the Initial Towel Company
in Essex Road, where she was employed to wash and iron laundry that customers brought to
the shop. Mum laboured for some years at this job for 12 hours each day, and six full working
days each week with no paid holidays. British society today would never accept such
conditions, although there are still areas of exploitation outside regulatory law. Following my
birth, Mum worked for the separated wife of the landlord of the local pub the Star public house
(PH), who managed a haberdashery shop in Holloway Road.
The Lord is My Shepherd
In 1936, before the general availability of penicillin in hospitals, at the age of two, I suffered
an acute appendicitis. The poisoned sac in my abdomen ruptured during its extraction,
resulting in the poison spreading throughout my body. Following the operation, I spent a further
six months in hospital, lying in my bed flat on my back, with the bed-head raised towards the
ceiling. Glass rods were inserted into my abdomen draining contaminated blood from my body
into a receptacle. Having seen other patients in hospital propped up in a similar fashion it was a
wonder to me that I never slid out of the tucked-in sheets, onto the floor! I was discharged from
hospital with 24 boils covering my tiny body (a decade passed before, in my late teens, I was
finally freed from the plague of boils).
2
Within two years I was again admitted to hospital for emergency surgery, this time over a
Christmas, having fallen from a table onto the floor, twisting my intestines in the process. Albert
recalled to me that at a family Christmas get-together everyone was singing the song He’s the
Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot, when Mum burst into tears at my absence! It has always
been one of my favourite songs; I often sing it to Daniel when requested. After recovering from
surgery I was transferred to a convalescent home to recuperate, again for some weeks. The
earliest of my childhood memories is indelibly etched into my psyche. The event occurred
during my convalescence, brought about by my refusal one day to eat every morsel of the
lunch put in front of me. Together with some other children, I was transferred from the dining
table to a cell (at least that is how I remember the room), from which we were allowed to leave
on eating the cold and congealed food on our plates. Some children cried were physically sick
at this treatment; others were smacked as a form of bullying (the nurses would say any
punishment was to instil discipline). I do not think that the Board of Governors of that hospital
would have approved of the aftercare, which was quite Dickensian. As the resistance of my
companions weakened and our numbers dwindled, I felt even more vulnerable to the
intimidation, but was also stubbornly determined. I was the last child remaining in this
cheerless room. As the daylight faded and the room got colder than the food on my plate, I felt
quite alone and unloved. I cried long and loud, but it was not until bedtime I was allowed out,
with my congealed food still uneaten. At six years of age I was fortunate to have survived two
life threatening operations and had 40 stitches in my stomach to remind me of my experiences.
These operations occurred long before keyhole and cosmetic surgery were practised and the
appearance of my stomach bears witness to that fact.
Albert told me that as a youth he had wheeled my pram to the haberdashery shop, at the
time for my breast feeding, until his parents moved in 1937 to Greenford in Middlesex. Nanny
and Granddad Rosam were persuaded by Nan’s sister Charlotte and husband Bill, who
occasionally visited them, that life was better in Greenford, which at that time was still a leafy
suburb, in the country, a one hour journey by train from Islington. In 1937 they rented house at
26 Burwell Avenue, in the adjoining street to their relatives. My sister Pat was born on January
25th 1937, and the flat in Gerrard Road was now too small for the larger family. Trixie was
persuaded to buy a house as an investment, which he rented to my parents. We moved to 17
Bourne View in Greenford, less than a mile distant from my grand-parent’s house. I do not
believe reconciliation between the families was made, but Trixie Droy would often drive or visit
by tube train to Greenford with my grandma and their unmarried sons on a Sunday, for family
‘get-togethers’, ostensibly to see Pat and I their grandchildren. These occasions were little
more than a ‘boozy’ lunch in a pub. Trixie must have been concerned for his children’s future,
for he agreed to lend my Dad the money to buy a ‘newspaper pitch’, (as opposed to a
newspaper kiosk which is a tiny weather proofed house), outside of Waterloo railway station, in
order for Dad to develop his own business. Dad and his brothers worked for Trixie at the
My Formative Years
3
various dog tracks, and at the horse races, so they had a good lifestyle with decent wages. On
these visits to Greenford both sets of grand-parents, together with my parents and their
brothers, would visit the Ballot Box pub at the foot of Horsenden Hill. One of their amusements
was to offer me a bag of crisps or lemonade as an inducement to sing a song as a party piece.
I never refused to being lifted onto the table and give my own rendition of the requested song. I
would do anything for a treat; I became an extrovert at an early age! The visits stopped once
Dad was conscripted into the Army. Dad was allowed compassionate leave on the birth of my
youngest sister Jean, who was born on 24th February 1940, and I clearly remember being
dressed in my Sunday best and being taken round to my grand-parent’s home, on the day that
Mum came home from hospital with her new baby daughter. I will similarly never forget the
memory of Dad going off to war in 1940, dressed in his army uniform, with his kit-bag on his
shoulder, smiling bravely, whilst he kissed and hugged us all in a final goodbye, prior to his
departure, for what turned out to be six long and poignant years. This was some two years after
moving in Greenford. In that same year in the September of 1940, on my first day at school, I
remember throwing a tantrum as Mum left me to the tender mercies of a teacher; my tears
soon stopped once Mum was out of hearing! It was much later that I realised how very well
blessed our family had been in settling into what we thought of as the ‘countryside’.
For the first three years of Dad serving abroad with the Eighth Army, Dad’s newspaper
business was run by Nanny Rosam and later by Mum, until Dad was demobbed. They
travelled, by tube train into Central London, over an hour’s journey from Greenford. They did
this Monday to Friday of every week in all weathers, even during the ‘blitz’. Mum coped with
running the paper-pitch, whilst providing for the welfare of her three children (all aged under six
at Dad’s conscription). My health gave continuing cause for concern, both of my eardrums were
perforated which caused dreadful pain, quite often I awoke with a bloody discharge soaking my
pillow case. I often couldn’t sleep for stabbing pains, and was comforted throughout the night in
my mother’s arms. I was eighteen before my perforated eardrums healed over, when only scar
tissue remained. Both inside and outside of my body, there is visible scarring, as evidence of
pain and suffering as a child. Whilst away, Dad wrote letters home regularly, which for security
reasons were heavily censored, full of nostalgia and love for us. Mum would gather us children
around her, and read the well-thumbed letters over and over again. We would then break into a
sing-song of all the popular love songs of the day. Our concert often lasted for an hour or so.
My favourite song even today is a song from that era, ‘You’ll Never Know’ (just how much I love
you), sung by Vera Lynn.
During the air-raids that occurred whilst we were at school, classes were abandoned as the
teachers transferred the pupils in their charge to the school’s underground shelter for safety.
We rehearsed air raid drill weekly to avoid any panic measures. Our education was badly
disrupted but at that time as far as I was aware, the routine of earlier generations had probably
been little different. Many a morning I arrived at school early and climbed onto the roofs, in
order to look for shell shrapnel. Some pieces of iron shrapnel I found were the size of a man’s
hand, other pieces were quite small but each piece was jagged and needed careful handling to
avoid cutting a finger. I remember spitting on my fingers as a precaution in case the shrapnel
was hot to the touch, for I had earlier burned my finger on a piece that could not have
fragmented very much before I handled it. How commonplace and natural it seemed at the
time, but how macabre now! I stored my shrapnel at home until Mum objected to the
proliferating pile. I did not protest at the disposing of this rusting collection of jagged metal
because I realised that it was potentially dangerous.
The Lord is My Shepherd
Every evening the members of the Air Raid Patrol (ARP) walked the streets, to ensure that
no chinks of light shone through the drawn curtains of any window. The enemy dropped their
bomb loads indiscriminately, and didn’t need to hit specific targets to disrupt life, but everyone
was grateful to those ARP wardens for their diligence. Early on in the war, at every air raid,
Mum accepted the advice of the wardens, who urged us to leave our beds, and walk the half
mile distance to the deep shelters allocated to our neighbourhood. We sleepily arose from our
beds and made our way to the shelter, until the ‘all clear’ signal was sounded, when we were
allowed to return home. On some occasions having sounded the ‘all-clear’ and being allowed
to leave the shelter, a second wave of enemy bombers attacked, and we were urged to make
that tiresome journey all over again! I remember carrying bedding and walking through
darkened streets, illuminated only by a dim blue light from a street lamp. Wearing a coat hastily
thrown over my pyjamas, our family shuffled in convoy with our neighbours, to and from our
respective homes and the deep shelters. Our broken nights sleep and the ‘sleep walking’ was
very tedious and very wearing on the nerves, making everybody irritable and tired. Mum could
not cope with three fractious children and successive nights of disturbed sleep, so she decided
that on future occasions, she would ignore the warning of an imminent air-raid and would trust
our safety to chance!
4
Initially the bombing raids were carried out at night, but daylight raids soon became a
common occurrence, as the enemy grew both more powerful and more desperate for an early
victory. I occasionally saw enemy planes being pursued through the sky by our fighter aircraft.
On one occasion whilst playing in the school field during a lunch break, an enemy aeroplane
flew by, just a few metres (m) over our heads, no doubt the pilot was ‘hedge-hoping’ hoping to
escape detection. On another occasion a bomb exploded in the next street to where we lived,
but apart from having to carry a personal gas mask everywhere we went in case of a gas
attack, that was the closest we came to experiencing the threat of the enemy. Walking to
school one morning along Horsenden Lane a school mate caught me full in the mouth with his
gas mask, which he had been swinging around over his head as a cowboy might throw a lasso.
Blood was flowing from my nose and mouth all over my clothes. On arrival at school the
teacher cleaned me up and consoled me as best she could. I am sure that this incident was the
cause of my protruding teeth, for in pre-National Health Service days, funding for specialist
dentistry was a family responsibility and ortho-dentistry was not well advanced anyway.
Shortly afterwards we had an Anderson shelter constructed in our back garden. A hole
about 1.2m deep and 3m square was dug, into which was poured a reinforced concrete lining.
Above the ground a semicircle of corrugated iron was bolted together and then covered by a
0.3m layer of earth. These shelters were named after the Lord Privy Seal, Sir John Anderson,
who was the government minister in charge of civil defence, who had commissioned the
development of a reasonably priced but well designed shelter that could be built, in every
house that had a garden and made available to every family on demand. The short walk to our
new shelter was pure joy in comparison with the neighbourhood deep shelter system.
Vacation from our homes, when we were awoken by the air-raid siren, in order to travel to
the communal underground shelter was no longer necessary. We had no difficulty falling back
to sleep, having been shaken awake to walk to the garden shelter, being no different from
answering a call of nature in the night. One night Mum spotted a huge spider in our shelter and
from the time of that incident, she again trusted our preservation to chance. We never used the
Anderson shelter again, other than as a playhouse. Early in 1942 Mum bought the new
Morrison in situ house steel shelter, so named after Herbert Morrison the British Home
My Formative Years
5
Secretary. Our new shelter was 2.5m long, by 2m wide and 1m in height. The shelter
dominated the floor space in our front room taking up most of the lounge. It was built like a
giant Meccano construction kit, four steel legs, supported the steel roof, which doubled as a
table top, to which was bolted 50mm steel mesh sheeting, enclosing three sides. Entry was
gained by crawling on all fours, in through the front or fourth side, as if entering a small tent.
After the worst of the blitz, on occasions when I was not feeling well enough to attend
school, I accompanied Mum to the paper pitch, for Nanny had taken a morning job, and there
was no-one else to look after me. I remember the tiers of bunks constructed along the
platforms in the tube stations, where civilians who lived or worked nearby might sleep during
the air raids. Sometimes during the height of the blitz, the workers would not be allowed to
leave the underground shelters, being detained there for their own safety throughout the night. I
never ceased to be fascinated by the partly deflated barrage balloons, over central London
which seemed to fill the sky. At night, during the earliest air raids of the war, I recall looking
through the drawn curtains of my unlit bedroom, watching the searchlights, trying to catch the
enemy bombers in their beams, in order to give the ‘Ack-Ack’ gunners a visual target to aim at.
I will never forget the night sky on these occasions which was lit up like a big cinema screen by
searchlights or tracer bullets.
It had been drummed into me to never let my two sisters out of my sight, and to walk to
Nanny’s home from school pick up Jeannie and make my way home by a predetermined route
of which Nanny was aware, so we always played together. Whenever an air raid alarm blasted
out after school hours, or during school holidays, Nanny Rosam would come looking for us
wearing slippers and apron, she always knew our approximate whereabouts. I well remember,
during an air raid, when we were playing in the street, becoming aware that the loud engine
noise associated with Germany’s V1s and the V2s (doodle bugs) had run out of fuel
immediately overhead. I knew that these pilotless planes were little more than huge bombs that
exploded on impact. We huddled together around Nan’s skirt, but there was no need to panic
as the rocket drifted about a mile from where the cut-out occurred. She used to round us up
and then take us to our house until Mum returned from the paper-pitch. Mum’s time of returning
home was not dependable, as trains were often delayed, so Nan would tuck us up in bed.
Nothing appeared to frighten Nanny; she was a tower of strength to Mum and a great comfort
to us.
My first pet was a stray cat that I found pitifully mewing in an alleyway, it was obviously
distressed and Mum reluctantly agreed that we could keep it. Tabby was greatly loved by us
all, but I really wanted a dog. Mum delighted me when for my birthday; she gave me, a Jack
Russell puppy that I named Jip. Jip and I were inseparable, except at night as Mum would not
let Jip sleep on my bed. One Sunday morning as was our routine, we children were dressed in
our best clothes and walked Jip to our grand-parents house where we invariably went for lunch
(Mum followed on later after tidying the house etc). Horse riders often cantered along the roads
near our home and I, as I had done many times earlier, simulated the rolling gait of the horse
by running alongside of the horse with one foot in the gutter and one on the kerb. I tripped and
fell headlong, breaking both of my protruding two front teeth. Once again close to where I had
received my previous bloodbath in Horsenden Lane the blood from my mouth soaked my
clothing just a short distance from our school gates. Not long afterwards one front tooth had to
be removed for I had exposed a nerve that became painfully infected (poisoned), causing my
face to swell. The teeth either side of the resulting gap grew unevenly during the following
years, reminding me how well our children’s teeth are nurtured in today’s society.
The Lord is My Shepherd
I suppose I have been in denial throughout most of my life, offended that Mum had bundled
off us children as evacuees to Hunslet, (a town in Yorkshire) well after the blitz of London had
ended. Mum was a slimly built attractive 34 year old auburn haired 1.6m (5 '3") tall female, who
was ‘chatted up’ by a string of servicemen on the train taking us to Yorkshire. I had not
previously been aware of the interaction between the sexes, that sparked flirtation and I was
surprised that Mum seemed to respond, but I just hoped it was out of politeness. It was only at
this time I became fully aware of the possibility of my parent’s marriage being under threat. I
knew deep in my being that we were being ‘dumped’, in order for Mum to have time for herself.
She was in a similar situation to many of her contemporaries, and who am I to point the
accusing finger? I have taken many shameful decisions in my life of which I needed God’s
forgiveness. I lodged with one of Nanny Rosam’s brothers, Uncle Alf and his wife Aunt Doris.
Pat and Jean lodged with Doris’ sister Bertha and her husband, who lived on the opposite side
of the same street. My memories of Hunslet are very hazy, but I do remember running along
large diameter water pipes, that had been laid at the pavements edge in the gutters, as an
emergency measure. I also recall for devilment climbing into the structure of an arced iron
bridge-support, that crossed the River Aire, and running along this 1m wide surface! What
made this so dangerous were the iron bolt heads were (necessarily) ‘proud’ of the sheet metal
structure resulting in an uneven ‘dimpled’ effect and possibly I could have tripped and fallen
either into the river or onto the pavement 10m below! I carried out this escapade on several
occasions, sometimes when it was wet and windy, which was even scarier. I could write of
even crazier escapades, but I still cannot believe how unconcerned I was at that time
concerning my personal safety, as I was well aware how dangerous such behaviour was.
6
I always sensed an alienation from our relatives and the people of Yorkshire, although we
were loved by them and accepted by the school children with whom we played. We were in
some indefinable way separated from them by a common culture and language. I was never
able to decipher the Yorkshire brogue very well. We could have been living in a foreign land,
but fortunately our evacuation was only of six months duration owing to the war ending. On the
8th May 1945 Britain celebrated Victory in Europe Day (VE Day). I well remember the street
party in Hunslet that we attended prior to returning to London. The houses we lived in had no
gardens front or rear. A narrow pavement dropped at the kerb into cobbled narrow streets, too
narrow for vehicles to pass each other by without mounting the kerbstone. The housing units
ran from one end of the street to the other and a veranda style walkway ran the whole length of
the rear of the houses at first floor level. Our VE party was held in the street behind the houses
in which I was living. The standard of education in Yorkshire was way behind that of my first
school; which, considering that I had spent such a lot of time in air-raid shelters, did not say
much for the education in Hunslet where schooling was never interrupted by air-raid drill or airraids. Albert came to take us back home to Greenford. I was told that mum was ill suffering
from malaria. Nanny adored us, and I was overjoyed to be reunited with Mum and Nanny, but I
was distressed that my dog was missing, never to return. I was never given a satisfactory
explanation of what fate befell Jip. Nanny looked after the paper pitch temporarily whilst Mum
on recovering took over again.
Unfortunately following our return from evacuation the nostalgic times of Mum reading
Dad’s most recent letters followed by a singsong were never repeated, probably because the
war was over, but I believe it to have been Mums new lifestyle, with which I was unhappy.
Having firstly ensured that we were safely tucked in bed for 7.30pm, Mum went out to various
pubs which held dances. One warm summers evening we three children were engrossed in
playing with other friends so much that we were 15 minutes late returning home. Mum was
My Formative Years
7
furious with me for making her late in meeting with her friends, and dire threats were made if I
should bring my sisters home late again! We three slept together in a double-bed, but as soon
as Mum went out I would introduce some noisy games, which resulting in Mr and Mrs Edwards,
our neighbours banging on the wall to quieten us down. After some weeks of our noisy games,
Mum was persuaded to act out a charade that she was going out as usual, but instead returned
to the Edward’s home, in order to listen to the noise we created. We really got a tanning that
evening! Unfortunately my cry did not result in Mum staying at home. I knew that Nan
disapproved of us three children being left on our own every evening, for she never came
around in the evenings any longer, even though she knew we were on our own. I realise now
that this protest was my appeal to alert others of circumstances over which I had no control, but
would wish to alter. I was fond of the Enid Blyton stories that were read aloud by my school
teacher in class and ‘The Five’ were my special friends. I wrote a short story with my two
sisters and I and our dog Jip as the main characters, which I was often asked to narrate to the
school children in the other classes.
On my return from evacuation, I began attending church as many of my school friends
attended. I attended the morning services, Sunday school and the evening service each
Sunday. At the age of 11-years, following a series of confirmation classes I was confirmed by
the diocesan Bishop into the Church of England at All Hallows Church in Horsenden Lane. The
church also ran a youth club on a Friday evening, and the cubs and scouts also had their
bases there. Following Dad’s demobilisation my attendance at church was not as regular. In my
days at junior school I thought that everyone born in Britain was a Christian, regardless of
denomination. At morning assemblies in my school, Roman Catholics (RC’s) and Jews were
excused from joining in with Church of England members ‘C of Es’ as children who had been
christened were known as (that is, the remainder of the assembly). I did not understand the
purposes of assembly, although I enjoyed the singing. I did ask one or two of my classmates
who were excused attending our prayer time why they were excused, but they didn’t really
know, silently shrugging their shoulders. I did not regard these times of assembly as ‘worship’
of anybody, let alone Jesus the Son of God the Father.
The LCC had decided to build reinforced shelters in every street around our neighbourhood.
I believe they were built because it was felt that people might get caught out of doors when an
air raid siren was given and be far from the safety of their home shelter. These huge
constructions, which I never heard of anyone ever sheltering in, took up half the width of the
roads and were about 30m long and 2.5m high. The LCC did not demolish them very quickly
after the war, the shelters became a traffic hazard and I became a statistic. One day, forgetting
my kerb drill whilst playing, I ran from behind the street shelter (built immediately outside our
house) and was bowled over by a passing car. I rolled over and over coming to a stop with
limbs akimbo, as I crashed into an unyielding brick wall marking the boundary between a front
garden and the pavement. It was fortunate that I did not finish up under the wheels of the car
and that I did not break any bones, I had escaped injury very lightly. I did have plenty of cuts
and bruises both internal and external but they soon healed although I was off school
convalescing for many weeks. I am sure it was my concern for our future united family life that
caused my failure of the 11-plus exam. On the 15th August 1945 Britain celebrated Victory over
Japan (VJ Day). I expect there were street parties again, but my sisters and I were taken to
Southend on Sea by Mum for our first ever family holiday over the week when the celebrations
were held. I attended the cinema three times during that holiday and on each occasion I
watched the 20 minute film of the fireworks display in London that had taken place as part of
the celebrations marking VJ Day. I wished Dad could have shared this holiday with us but Dad
The Lord is My Shepherd
did not return to England for his eventual demobilisation until early in 1946 and it was very
soon afterwards that my parents separated.
8
The Christmas before Dad returned home, one of Mum’s ‘friends’, a soldier named Bill, had
taken Mum and we children to a matinee performance of a pantomime, at the Shepherds Bush
Empire. I have thought that he must have been the man ‘responsible’ for our evacuation, and I
was indifferent towards him. Albert told me that it was another trader at Waterloo who
mischievously told Dad of Mum’s lover, which led to the blazing row, within weeks of Dad
returning home, which ultimately ending in their divorce. I can only assume that Mum’s abortion
had meant that she had decided that her affair was of the past and was to be covered over in
her attempt to restore their marriage. Perhaps she trusted that Dad would not find out her
infidelities, but Dad was hurting too much to forgive. The night prior to my parent’s separation, I
crept out of my bed and listened from the top of the stairs to their voices raised in loud
argument. I was bewildered as to why they could not love each other as I loved each of them. I
crept back to my bedroom and cried myself to sleep, realising that it was not in my power to
prevent what was happening. I often wonder if I had made a tearful entry, whether it might have
influenced their decision to separate. It later became obvious to me that their five years of
separation after only five years of marriage involving a great deal of struggle, not to mention
the devastating effects of the war with all its ramifications, had resulted in recrimination and
unforgiveness. The following morning Mum and my two sisters moved in with my grandparents, whilst I chose to stay with Dad. It was ironic that within weeks of my father’s return
home he suffered the loss of that which he held most dear; the permanent loss of his wife and
children, Dad loved Mum until the day he died, as he told me whenever I visited him as an
adult. I too have never stopped loving or praying for my first wife Pam and our children, so I can
sympathise with Dad, for I shall continue to pray to God for their welfare until I die.
I was almost 12 years of age when I received my first ethereal or spiritual experience. I had
been lying awake, terrified by the thought that one day I would be pronounced dead, only to
wake up in a coffin, to realise that I had been buried alive. I do not remember if I cried out to
Jesus, but I certainly received assurance from Him that my fears were groundless and that I
would be quite safe in His hands. I received my first supernatural vision the following day whilst
playing in a wood with my friends, during a game of hide and seek, they scattered whilst I was
counting up to 100. I was alone; the quietness was supernaturally induced. I became acutely
aware of twigs snapping underfoot, in order to attract my attention and confirm that the
apparition had not come from behind a tree, but had suddenly materialised a few yards in front
of me. The apparition was a male figure clothed in black clerical robes wearing a cape and a
wide brimmed black hat. He was unsmiling, yet not unfriendly or threatening, neither of us
spoke. I turned on my heels and fled! I occasionally experienced pleasant dreams, during
which I could walk 20-30m above the ground. I would call out to friends on the ground that
would stop their games and wave to me, but for some reason they were not able to join me in
the air.
Mum took us children for a week’s holiday to Southend in the summer of 1946. Dad twice
came for the day by train to be with us and I expect tried to salvage his marriage, but the
breach was irreconcilable. I experienced very bad sun-burn on the final day of this holiday and
subsequently suffered a great deal of pain, as blisters formed all over my back and then burst,
as I was tormented into scratching my itching skin. I had ginger hair and my skin was pale, like
my mother’s side of the family, I was freckled all over, which was the reason that I was so
easily burned by the sun. My father’s parents and all their children were of dark complexion
My Formative Years
9
with jet -black hair, as was my sister Pat. Dad never had a grey hair even into old age, although
he had been very ill with emphysema through smoking too many daily cigarettes for many
years. I remember that he had broken a rib through being racked with coughing fits.
Following my parent’s separation, after school my routine was to have tea at Nan’s house
with my sisters and Mum at the end of her working day. She was now a factory worker for
Glaxo Pharmaceuticals at their head office and factory a half a mile from Nan’s house. Dad
would join me at Nan’s on returning from selling newspapers and having eaten his dinner would
take me home. The evenings when he was helping with the family at the dog-racing I would
return home on my own and wait for Dad to return home, around 11 p.m. As the evenings grew
lighter and longer Dad would take Mum, Nan and Granddad and us children out to the Black
Horse pub at Greenford. We three children would play in the pub’s garden which ran alongside
the Grand Union Canal, where we had great fun with other children who like us were enjoying
an evening out with their parents. The pub was frequented by re-united families with their loved
ones relaxing following the hard times they had experienced. I loved to hear the pub’s resident
pianist knocking out familiar tunes, and the singing by the appreciative customers of the songs
that I had grown up with. Family and community singing was the most common form of
entertainment before the advent of TV. Nan used to invite Dad and I over for lunch on a
Sunday they would visit the Black Horse leaving us children at home in the charge of Albert.
Lunch was often delayed because they returned later than expected, when usually Granddad
was often the worse for wear. After lunch we children were packed off to the cinema whilst the
adults took an afternoon nap. In some way I hoped that my living at home with Dad might
lessen his loss and also that Mum might return home when she realised how much she missed
normal family life. During the early months of separation, Dad and I continued to live at our
home in Bourne View. But once Mum had regained her independence and found a new boy
friend Dad accepted that reconciliation was not a possibility. Mum wanted her boyfriend John to
be able to have Sunday lunch with her and get to know her parents. On future visits Dad and I
would collect my two sisters, from Nanny’s house and take them to Bourne View for lunch.
After lunch Dad would take us to the cinema, and then home for Dad’s favourite tea, of cockles,
winkles and shrimps in sandwiches. Later we would walk the girls back to Nan’s house. On the
Sundays that Mum went to visit John’s parents in Watford, then Dad and I spent the day at
Nanny’s home.
Most of the boys, who lived in my street with whom I played, were three or four years older
than I and were in the senior classes of our secondary modern school. I felt very privileged at
being included in the games of football, cricket and hockey in our street, and going on
expeditions with these older lads, when I persuaded my two sisters to play with the other girls
in the street, confident that they would not wander away. I was thrilled to be accepted as a
junior member of their fraternity. I always accepted whatever they collectively decided to do
and joined in all their adventures and expeditions. As a group we walked to Wembley Stadium
to watch the speedway racing each Thursday evening (the journey took about half an hour).
The team captain Bill Kitchener (a former motor bike world champion) was my hero. Some of
our group regularly went to the cinema, where we invariably ‘bunked in’. Our ploy was to wait
for someone to leave the cinema through an unguarded emergency exit, when we would just
walk in as our unknowing benefactor left!
The long school summer holidays of 1946 to 1949 were particularly memorable. With
friends from my scout troop during school holidays I regularly travelled by steam train to
Denham quarries to catch frogs and newts, which I took home and sold to my school friends.
The Lord is My Shepherd
On most days of any holidays, I played with my friends on Horsenden Hill, our playground,
which extended over many acres of woodland, just a 10 minute walk from our home. We flew
kites, played ball games, climbed trees, all ages congregating at the swing gardens, where
some mothers brought their babies and collected their elder children and those of their friends.
We generally led a healthy outdoor life, and did not know of sex pests and paedophiles. I didn’t
even know what a paedophile was until I myself became a grandfather! I know now that
children have been so enslaved since the times of the Greek Empire, but during the war years
there were more fearful prospects. Catching butterflies in the summer and tobogganing in the
snow during winter offered a seasonal variation of fun. However, I was not convinced that
school days were the happiest days of my life. Collecting conkers was fun, my friends, being
older and stronger than I, were able to climb the trees and shake the conkers down.
10
My ready acquiescence to follow the lead of my peers led me to accompanying one of them
and others who were school friends of his, who were not under parental control, to go
scrumping. Scrumping fruit from gardens and allotments provided me with a wicked thrill,
because I was well aware that I was an accomplice to theft. Sometimes I would feel quite ill if
the fruit was not ripe or I over-ate the produce stolen. It served me right, but I have
subsequently wished that I had not been so easily led. Later I joined them on more daring
stealing expeditions; from high street department stores. We pocketed smaller items and put
larger objects into shopping bags, which we would later share out between us. I was too
frightened to take stolen goods into our house and hid my trophies in a weatherproof sack in
our garden! One day out of bravado I took to school a serrated edged bread-knife that I had
stolen from Woolworth’s store. Whilst showing the knife to a friend during a lesson, it fell to the
floor with a clatter. On questioning by the teacher as to what I was doing with such a dangerous
weapon, I confessed my crime to her and then to the headmaster, what had happened and
together with the rest of the boys, whom I had named were questioned by the police. The
police then accompanied us to our homes, where our parents were interviewed over our
activities. Fortunately our crimes were found out very early into my adventures and we were not
prosecuted. The police gave each of us a caution, which proved to be a salutary lesson that
frightened me, but only convinced me from having any third party involvement in any further
stealing. I suppose the excitement of this sin entered into my psyche, for my ‘taking ways’
continued until I became a ‘born again’ believer. I was a strong-willed child, perhaps because I
did not receive much parental correction, but I am inclined to think that my confidence had
grown because much was entrusted for me to deal with. Every Saturday morning I queued with
other shoppers for hours to obtain bread and vegetables that were in short supply. I checked
the prices charged, was never short changed and carried the shopping home unaided. I was
given sixpence (old money) a week for doing this task as pocket-money. I supervised my
sister’s welfare, often for many hours, without their coming to any harm. I do not remember any
of my family ever saying I was uncontrollable or even especially naughty. Dad had not long
been discharged from the army, he had never struck me as a punishment and he did not do so
on this occasion, although he was obviously distressed by my conduct. I now realise my
parents were both worried sick by my involvement with these older boys, they were anxious
that I broke my friendship with them and find friends of my own age.
As the summer drew to an end, Dad explained that because he was concerned at the
influence that could be exerted over me by some of my older friends, who in the following term I
would join in the senior section of our school, he wanted us to move back to his parents home,
prior to the next school term, and attend a totally different school, well away from their
influence. Also with the long days he would be working, Dad was concerned for my wellbeing. I
My Formative Years
11
agreed to us moving to 72, St Peters Street in Islington where Granny Droy was prepared to
become my guardian. I was contrite and gladly accepted Dad’s authority. It is never easy for a
child to be uprooted from all that is familiar, placed in a new environment and to adjust without
distress, but I suffered in silence. I did play with all the other children of my age in the
neighbourhood, but I never made any lasting friendships; today I cannot even remember any of
my play-mates names. I did have a childhood girlfriend named Judy Harbour who lived a few
doors away from our home in Bourne View. I remember feeling very gauche at her birthday
party, the first party I had ever attended. I only attended one other birthday party, which was
that was my cousin Rita’s. At the second party I was 14 years of age and the only boy present.
We played ‘Postman’s Knock’ and through connivance my number was repeatedly called to
kiss each of the girl ‘postmen’. I was not interested in the opposite sex and was quite
embarrassed. I only ever had one steady girlfriend until I met the girl I married.
We moved to Islington, I would travel on the Friday evening directly from school to
Greenford in order to spend the weekend with Mum and my two sisters. I continued to attend
the youth club meetings, but I could only attend scout meetings when I was on school holidays.
I shared the bedroom of Mum’s unmarried brother, my Uncle Albert. Uncle Charlie had been
conscripted into the Royal Army and also married Eileen in 1946 and no longer shared the
bedroom with his brother. Dad once again collected us children from Nanny’s house on Sunday
morning and our Sundays were little different from what they had been before we moved into
central London, except that after our visit to the cinema, Dad and I instead of returning to our
now empty family home in Bourne View would travel back to Islington together, having walked
the girls back to Nanny Rosam’s home before Dad and I travelled by bus back to Islington,
always on the top deck, because I enjoyed watching people about their business in the
thoroughfares below. The journey took a little longer than by train, which I didn’t mind because I
desired Dad’s companionship more than that of any other person. Having been denied
fatherhood for so many years, I hungered for the relationship. I knew that Dad suffered the
same longing for our family to be reunited.
Granddad Trixie Droy was a charismatic figure, always immaculately and expensively
dressed in a smart suit. A portly 60 year old man with black hair and a ready grin, he had an
eye for the ladies and spent little or no time in his own home and he didn’t lift a finger to help
Granny. He was the ‘patriarch’ of the Droy’s, just as I became the patriarch on his death. Cissie
Droy spent her days, in her slippers, working hard to keep ahead of all the household chores
that needed attending to. This is a characteristic that I have inherited from her; even now
friends are mystified over my wearing slippers when outside of our home. Occasionally she
would dress up in her ‘glad-rags’ and accompanied by her daughter, my Aunt Lizzie, would visit
the Star PH, on the intersection of Noel St and St Peter’s St, where Granddad ended his
evening in this small pub 200m from our home and about the same distance from the home in
which Mum grew up in, at 13 Provence Street. At the higher end of St Peter’s Street, about
1,000m long was Islington Green, where the Collins Music Hall was located. Phyllis Dixie and
Gypsy Rose Lee were two of the regular performing acts, who, amongst others, disrobed on
the stage. In those days naked women were only allowed to pose motionless, like an artist’s
model. Granddad was ever present, always sitting in the front row, with his racing binoculars
around his neck! St Peters Street ended at the Star PH and became Wharf Road, some 1,000
m long, which ran into City Road, just a two minute walk away from Petticoat Lane Market
where Dad often took me on Sunday mornings, when I was not at Greenford. I was amazed at
the number of people he knew throughout the district. He always answered my question of,
The Lord is My Shepherd
‘How do you know that person Dad?’ with ‘Oh that’s a cousin of mine’, or, ‘I went to
school with him.’
12
The houses on the opposite side of the street in which Mum grew up in, were hit by cluster
bombs and reduced to ruins during one bombing raid the houses which backed on to them in
Noel Road were also destroyed. The LCC had not cleared this bomb site and this unsightly yet
unrestricted area became my playground. My derring-do from my exploits in Yorkshire were
repeated. Sufficient to record here that in my playing, I daily walked or ran across the third story
brickwork that had been exposed following the removal of the roof trusses after the fires
caused by the bombing had been extinguished.
Four of Granddad Droy’s six sons worked for him in his business as a turf accountant,
travelling to the various horse and dog tracks around the country. My Uncle Reggie was the
youngest son, and lived away from home in digs. Reggie was single and only a few years older
than me (although he was the first of the brothers to die. I spent more time in his company than
with any of my other uncles. Quite frankly, none of them put themselves out to show that they
loved me. As Christmas was approaching I thought I would demonstrate what I thought of their
indifference by buying each of them something and tell them it was an early present as I didn’t
want to risk buying presents at the last moment! Some of them were shamed into giving me
some money but this generosity was never repeated. Uncle Frankie was the eldest child of the
family. He and my Auntie Ethel lived three houses away from Granny Droy’s house and
although they had children of my age, we didn’t play much together and I was only invited
around to their house for my cousin Rita’s birthday party. When I did visit I was always
welcomed. Auntie Ethel told me that she had never been invited to Granny Droy’s home.
Frankie had a ‘steady’ job which did not allow him the freedom to help very often in the family
business. Uncle Tommy was separated from his wife and lived with my grand-parents. Uncle
Johnny like Uncle George was married, but did not have any children at this time. Both Johnny
and George lived in London, but in adjoining postal districts to Islington. Most of my great
uncles were barrow boys operating in Petticoat Lane and Chapel Street market Islington. It
would be true to say that Dad’s family knew the seamier side of life.
My grand-parent’s home was a four-storied terraced house and Granny Droy’s family
occupied the basement and ground floor area, whilst Aunt Lizzie lived with her husband Lennie
Bellamy and their two children (both younger than I) in the top two stories. Initially I had to
sleep head to feet between Dad and my Uncle Tommy, which was not to my liking and meant a
disturbed nights sleep for us all. It was not long before it was decided that Dad’s sister Lizzie
should look after my upbringing as she had a spare bedroom in which I would be more
comfortable. There was only one cold water tap on the third floor, over a corner basin on the
half landing. In every house in our terrace the heating of cooked food for the top two stories
was by gas oven, the upstairs landing was fitted out as a miniature kitchen. The water used for
cleaning crockery and metal cooking pans was poured into a ‘slop’ bucket after use, in which it
congealed into a greasy mess. When the bucket was full it was carried down several flights of
stairs and the contents flushed down the toilet, which was installed in the basement. The house
had no bathroom, and all heating was by coal fire which was common at that time. The coal
was delivered through a cast-iron circular ‘coal hole’ on the pavement Coal deliveries were
poured through this hole into the coal-cellar below. The coal had to be shovelled from the coal
cellar, into a coal scuttle and carried through the lounge into the kitchen, where there was
always a warm fire, and also to the fire grates on the other floors.
My Formative Years
13
It was back breaking labour for Granny keeping the basement rooms heated meant
continuously stoking the fire in the kitchen and the living room, which involved constant refilling
of the coal scuttle. Granny was always complaining to me that none of the men in the house
ever filled the coal scuttle unless shamed into doing so. During the cold and wintry weather no
room in the house was warm. All the family huddled around the fire place. When I had to
answer the doorbell or make a call of nature, it took ages for my blood to warm up again!
Today’s background central heating may not be as inviting as a coal fire, but it sure produces a
cleaner, warmer and less labour intensive environment to the times I experienced as a child,
although I still enjoy sitting in front of a natural fire. The wash-house (laundry room in modern
parlance) was entered through the kitchen, where Granny ‘blued’ and boiled the washing,
before mangling and pegging the laundered clothing out to dry on the line in the small brickedin back yard, very hard work for a frail old lady, remembering what I have written about stoking
the fires and cleaning the resulting ash from all surfaces in the house. Lizzie of course had to
carry her coal through the house up to her living room on the top floor; and then carry the
ashes down into the dustbin in the back yard; back breaking effort for a healthy person, but a
death threat for the elderly. Today such living conditions would be unacceptable, but were
standard in the 1950’s and 60’s. Looking back our home life in Greenford, where we had a
bathroom with hot water on tap, and a front and back garden, by comparison was luxurious.
I really hated the circumstances I found myself living in. Once a week I bathed in a zinc
bath in front of the kitchen fire, into which Granny periodically poured further kettles-full of hot
water. Initially I was embarrassed undressing in front of Granny, but she was very considerate
and always busied herself until I was submerged. Once I came under the supervision of my
Aunt Lizzie, my cousin Evelyn (Auntie Lizzie’s eldest child), who was two years younger than I,
was allowed to share bath nights with me, I protested at this intrusion on my privacy. Perhaps
Evelyn’s curiosity concerning my body was natural, but I felt uncomfortable with this turn of
events. My objections went unheeded, until I told Dad of my embarrassment. He understood
my feelings and from then on, once a week I was sent along to the Theberton Road public
bathhouse, where everybody in the neighbourhood went for their weekly bath.
I was an avid reader of comics. The owner of the local corner shop operated an exchange
system for which he made a small charge. I became adept in stealing comics by inserting
another comic into the pages of the comic I was about to purchase. My deception was soon
discovered, but I protested my innocence and the episode was overlooked, but I never tried it
again. My earlier escapade had apparently not taught me anything, but I never stole from
shops again. Uncle Lennie, like my Granddad, was an independent turf accountant and was
totally disinterested in my well-being, never speaking to me unless he wanted something done
and then I was ordered to do whatever chore he had in his mind. Like my Grandfather, Lennie
was a heavy drinking, foul mouthed womaniser. For the 18 months that I lived in St Peters
Street I hardly ever saw Dad alone and he never spent time talking and sharing with me, and
only occasionally did he take me out for walks, or take me to his paper pitch at Waterloo, which
he attended six days of every week. Granny used to serve his lunch at midday to enable him to
start work at 1.00 p.m, and he worked until 6.00 p.m. On Wednesday, Friday and Saturday
evenings Dad attended the family pitch at the dog tracks, and of course there were horse
racing meetings interspersing these times.
Once a week I would be given entrance money to attend the Collins Music Hall with Evelyn
(really I was the childminder for my younger cousin). This form of entertainment no longer
attracted much of a following because usually the theatre was 90% empty, for most families
The Lord is My Shepherd
could not afford evening entertainment. There was supposed to be a shortage of food and
clothing after the war, though you would not have believed this to be true, from the food we
enjoyed at my grandparents’ home. The Droys and Bellamys did not want for anything, most of
the food that I came to know of as being in short supply, appeared on our dining table. Most
goods were available on the ‘Black Market’ and my family could afford to buy whatever their
perceived needs were. Clothing was rationed at that time, but that did not bother me. However,
I was bothered by the rationing of sweets! Each child was entitled to only a 113grams (g) in
weight per week. On one occasion I bought the whole month’s allocation one Saturday
morning, and ate the lot by lunch time! I was aware that many of my friends’ parents had little
or no money to spend even on food, let alone luxuries, which always made me feel
uncomfortable. At no time did I feel better off or superior to any of my school friends. I am not
sure that the wealth of the Droys was a blessing, for neither of my parent’s families were
Christians. Granddad Rosam died at 78 years of age, outliving Granddad Droy by a decade.
Nanny Rosam died in her mid 60s, having spent three years in St Alban’s Mental Hospital, in
Shenley. Granny Droy was 70 years of age at her death.
14
On one occasion I was walking with Dad and his brother Tommy through the park, Tommy
was hunch-backed due to developing rickets as a child, and was shorter than Dad’s 1.6m (5
'3") height. Tommy worked at Highbury Billiard Hall, where he played snooker against the
punters for money; a fairly precarious life style. A hulk of a man stood silently stationary on the
pavement in front of us, blocking our passage. He was a well known local villain, named
Dummy Snow. Dummy always seemed so menacing to me, probably because of his size, but
undoubtedly his broken nose and cauliflower ears, together with a scarred face, which attested
to his many fist and razor fights, completed the picture of a man not to be trifled with. Once
Dummy recognised my companions, he acknowledged them deferentially, by standing
respectfully to one side, nodding his head and raising his hand in salute. As we passed him by,
the brothers both unsmilingly answered ‘Hello Dummy’ without breaking stride.
Eventually the summer holidays were over, and my first term in the senior school that I had
been dreading duly started. Prior to the term commencing my Granny bought me my first pair
of long trousers to wear to school. I felt very self conscious, but nobody passed any comment
and I quickly overcame my embarrassment. The boys at the Tudor Rose Secondary Modern
School, in the main were rough and coarse and not very bright. I was the brightest child in the
class, but because we were taught at the speed of the slowest among us, I did not learn
anything new in the academic year. I was always called out to the front of the class to read
aloud stories from our books of study to my classmates. My teacher maintained that I could
read aloud better than he could. In the eyes of the teachers I had achieved my potential. I
attained the highest marks of my age group at the end of year examinations, but I don’t believe
I learned very much during that academic year. I wondered if perhaps my studies at the
Horsenden Road School had been blessed by high calibre teachers, or whether, because I was
unsettled when away from our family home, I buried myself in extra curricular studies. My
family never encouraged me to succeed academically, natural acumen was held in higher
regard than book learning. I did initiate and supervise the school library single handedly whilst
at secondary school, which introduced me to classical books and to the Encyclopaedia
Britannica and increased my appetite to learn more. I was very studious, but with no ambition
or inclination to push myself forward. My father’s absence for the duration of the war, my
evacuation followed by the family break-up and then moving to Islington, had been very
traumatic and deeply scarred my future life. I was recommended for and awarded a place, at
the Northern Polytechnic (the Poly) following an interview, the result of which was that I was
My Formative Years
15
accepted into the highest intake class without taking the written test, which all other potential
candidates had to take. It was at this time that I became interested in the smutty side of sex as
an adolescent. I read salacious books and paid attention to the graffiti which was scrawled
everywhere and stimulated my fertile imagination. The ‘Poly’ was a trade training school that I
attended for the remaining three years of my school days. During my first year at the
polytechnic, I received tuition in the building trades, painting and decorating, carpentry and
joinery, plumbing and heating, and also bricklaying. After one academic year my teachers on
checking my year’s results, decided which stream of the building industry I was best suited to. I
was streamed into the trade of plumbing and heating. A normal school curriculum was pursued,
but pupils also spent time on building sites and received tuition in preparing technical drawings.
I managed to maintain a place in the senior stream each year but I did not have the
encouragement of parents that my classmates shared in common. Once my second year’s
class work had been assessed, and during my final school year, I was one of 13 boys from a
school numbering 200 students, selected to study architecture with the object of further
education at university.
During my first six months at the Poly I visited Mum at weekends, I enjoyed these times
mainly because I had a break away from Aunt Lizzie’s vituperative tongue. She said such
horrible things about my mother and tried to poison my mind against her. She also coached me
to use swear words with which to insult Mum’s new boyfriend, later to become my stepfather.
Following my return Lizzie would interrogate me over what took place over the weekend. I
developed a distressed mindset over the mental cruelty. I was exposed to threatened violence
by Lizzie, when I tearfully sobbed I would tell Dad of the mental cruelty to which I was
subjected. During the separation of my parents I had never experienced a nightmare or bad
dreams, although whilst living with my Aunt Lizzie I did sleep-walk on several occasions. Many
of my readers will, by this stage, consider that I had suffered an unfortunate start to my life. I
believe it was all predestined by God to develop and equip me for future service. I pray that I
am able to finish my task (race) successfully. Usually on the Sundays Dad joined my sisters
and I, but when Dad was unable to, I returned to Islington alone. It was always dark when I
arrived at the Angel tube station, because it was quite late in the evening. I steeled myself to
walk through the unlit and deserted park, which I always hurried through. One never heard of
muggings, rapes or murders in those days and although I was fearful, I never told anyone of my
fears, for I would not have been allowed to travel alone if Dad had known of my anxiety.
Lizzie often took her children over to the Star PH where they were given treats of lemonade
and crisps. I was taken along if the weather was warm when we could play outside the pub, at
which times I was made responsible for the safety and well-being of my younger cousins.
During the inclement evenings when it was so cold or wet my cousins were permitted to sit in
the pub with their parents, I was left at home and an excuse was found to send me to bed. ,
During the long winter evenings I was quite frightened on the occasions I was alone,
particularly when gusts of wind rattled the doors and windows. In the silence, that followed a
noisy gust, the empty house creaked eerily; my imagination led me to believe that I could hear
the soft tread of a burglar’s foot on the stairs. I had to summon up all my courage during such
evenings to visit the toilet in the basement, which I delayed as long as possible. I was fearful of
negotiating two dark landings and passing several doors, from which a nefarious burglar might
jump out and overpower me. Dad returned home one Saturday evening at 7.00 p.m and was
surprised to find me alone in the house (as was often the case), Lizzie having given me my tea,
took her two children to Dad’s brother Reggie’s wedding party and sent me to bed. Dad was
concerned that I may have been unwell. Lizzie was unaware that Dad would come home from
The Lord is My Shepherd
the dog-track early to freshen up prior to attending the party. It was my good fortune that Dad
decided, as an afterthought, to check my bedroom to ensure that I had already left with Lizzie
and her children. On my assuring him that I was not ill, I then had to explain why I had not gone
to the wedding party with Lizzie and her two children. I broke down in a flood of tears,
confessed that I was miserably unhappy, my loneliness and all my frustrations came tumbling
out. I had not spent much time with Dad, who like his own father, was at home very little. Dad
insisted I accompanied him to the party. I was reluctant because I knew that Lizzie would make
me suffer for what she would see as disobedience. Lizzie’s face was a picture when she saw
me walk in with Dad. I do believe that if Dad had not looked in my bedroom, Lizzie would have
told him I had a temperature or some such tale and my unhappiness would have continued. I
never did learn what Dad said to Lizzie, but they must have had an argument, for Dad decided
that we should return to our home in Greenford. I was elated for this decision meant that I
would have more time to share with Dad. Our daily travelling in and out of central London
committed Dad to an extra 2½-hours costly travel each day, but he never complained.
16
I was fortunate in that I was granted a free educational season ticket, in order to continue
my studies. The train I travelled on every morning to school, for the two remaining years of my
attendance at the Northern Polytechnic, stopped at 17 railway stations between Sudbury Hill
and Holloway Road. The journey lasted an hour, with a quarter of an hours walking to and from
our home and the tube station. I must have been one of the earliest commuters! I enjoyed the
one-hour tube train ride, as Dad always travelled most of the journey in my company; I revelled
in Dad’s company. Dad was able to buy a reduced priced weekly workman’s ticket, because he
was travelling before 7.30 a.m. He changed trains at Kings Cross Station to the Northern Line,
whilst I continued on the Piccadilly Line train to Holloway Road Station. Although I lived farther
from school than any of the other children, I was always the first person to arrive in the
playground, because of the need for Dad to take advantage of the workman’s return ticket. My
early arrival meant I always played in one of the two opposing sides at cricket or football,
depending on the season. Play was halted only when the whistle was blown for assembly at 9
a.m. Dad spent most morning, around his mother’s house, making arrangements for
transporting all the paraphernalia needed to run a mobile betting shop to the race track, where
the stall would be positioned. After an early lunch Dad would catch a bus to arrive at Waterloo
Station, in time to receive the first editions of the ‘Star’, ‘News’ and ‘Standard’. There was
always great demand for all three editions of these newspapers. He often ‘sold out’ before the
later editions were delivered.
The return journey home from school also passed quickly, as I invariably completed most of
my homework on the tube train. Quite often during the winter months, it took longer to return
home owing to the ‘pea-soupers’ (fogs), that London suffered. Smog often proved deadly to the
old and frail, but to me returning to an empty house the fog just added to my loneliness. My
routine was to light a fire and get myself some tea, before completing my studies. Dad returned
home at about 7.30 p.m when he would cook a meal for us both. We owned a television (TV)
set as early as 1946, but there were not many televised programmes in those days, whilst the
radio was an alternative companion. I spent a great deal of time studying, to escape the trap of
boredom and loneliness. I always waited up for Dad, on the three evenings of the week,
(including Saturday) when he did not return home until midnight. We would have a short
conversation concerning the events of the day whilst we shared a pot of tea, during which time
we bagged up all the small change Dad had received in his daily taking at the newspaper pitch.
Dad and I shared a bed; quite often he would recall his wartime experiences Dad had fought
throughout the North African Desert Campaign, as a sergeant in a tank regiment, without
My Formative Years
17
sustaining injury. Many of his regiment lost their lives or a limb throughout the various
campaigns. But mostly he would agonise over the cruel hand of fate over his life. Dad believed
his fatherhood had been taken from him. He knew that he had been betrayed by his wife, but
as if to absolve Mum of her infidelities, he told me that he had not been an angel whilst he had
been overseas. Often he would cry himself to sleep at the way events had turned out in his life
and in my small way I tried to be a comforter to him, but I was too young to shoulder such
burdens. I realise now that my father must have been suffering agonies of remorse, and some
degree of depression.
It gives me pain to admit that I regularly stole small sums of money from Dad’s waistcoat
pockets, about ten shillings (50p) each week. For years I suffered with a troubled conscience
due to this aberration. It wasn’t until I had children of my own that I confessed my theft to my
father and asked for forgiveness. Dad made light of my weakness by saying that all kids stole
as part of the growing-up phenomena, and there was nothing for him to forgive. My heart and
conscience were so greatly relieved by this absolution. I now think that this episode is a good
illustration of God forgiving His truly repentant children. My routine was to buy my breakfast in
a café close to my school before entering the school playground; I was always the first child to
arrive, not that it was noticed by anyone. I regularly ‘bunked off’ school in the afternoons in
order to visit the cinema, which also went unnoticed. I was the register monitor and the register
was not given to the teacher to check those attending on the occasions that I skipped lessons. I
developed a habit of regularly attending the cinema and buying magazines detailing the life
styles of movie stars. I was familiar with all the latest releases of films in which my favourite
stars had appeared and in which film they were currently appearing and who their co-stars
were. It was this interest that resulted in my starting an album of autographed photographs of
film stars. It was at this time that I developed my one and only crush and it was for an older
woman, Esther Williams, the Olympic swimming star. I was infatuated by her! But apart from
that crush I had no interest in the opposite sex. At one stage I had a collection of over 300
autographed photographs, which I eventually passed on to my sisters.
I visited my Uncle Albert, my oldest living relative at 76 years of age, in the emergency ward
of Guy’s Hospital in April 1999, where he had been admitted having suffered his third stroke. I
wanted to spend some quality time with him, for he had played a large part in my formative
years. During our conversation concerning the publication of this book, Albert whilst
reminiscing told me that he had travelled to Hunslet to bring us children back from evacuation
and the journey back to London was a nightmare, for we children were practically
uncontrollable. I know that we were all excited at the prospect of being re-united back home. I
asked Albert why Mum had not travelled with him and without thinking of what he was saying
and to whom; he told me it was due to Mum being very ill recovering from an abortion! I was
numbed by his chance comment, but the declaration only confirmed what I had believed in my
heart since those days. Albert confirmed that which my heart had told me, Mum had
succumbed to the attentions of a lover, with whom she sought to escape from the misfortunes
of her teenage years. She was carrying her lover’s child, which I believe she would have
birthed if the war had not ended. However her lover turned out to be a married soldier stationed
at Greenford, whether she was aware of this fact, prior to their relationship, I will not know this
side of heaven. Mum’s recovery, from the effects of the abortion to full health, took some
weeks. Nanny Rosam staffed the pitch until Mum was stronger. However as soon as she was
able to work, Mum returned to going out every night dancing!
The Lord is My Shepherd
As the springtime evenings lengthened and the weather became warmer, my enthusiasm
for attending scouts, youth club and church re-awakened. As a boy scout, I had thought of
myself as a Christian, for I lived in what I had been led to believe was a Christian country. I had
never received satisfactory answers to my questions on obscure Bible passages at Sunday
school or confirmation classes. My best friend Peter Perryman, in whose company I spent
much time, persuaded me to join the Sunday morning football team for the under 18 years of
age league matches that his father managed. On Sunday morning I played football whilst Dad
cleaned the house and prepared lunch. During Sunday afternoon I might go to the cinema with
friends, and in the evening Dad and I would listen to the radio or watch TV together. I could
have played football on Sundays and continued to attend evening services, but I felt it better to
make a total break from my former routine, and stopped attending church all together.
18
The standard of play was very high, two of our team were youth internationals and some
other players who were on the books of professional clubs, and I enjoyed a team game that I
had not had much involvement in before, other than as a spectator and as a leading player in
the playground at school, where the opposing teams kicked a tennis ball as our football. My
school team at the Poly was very much a ‘closed shop’ of a group of boys who had grown up
together whose families lived in the same community that had experienced the war years
together. I did play in the school trials, and although I scored the only goal, I was never invited
to represent our school team. I had a natural aptitude for sport and was always selected to play
in the team of Mr Perryman. Peter’s parents were very good at whist and taught Peter and me
the skill of playing cards during the long summer evenings of 1948 and 1949. After we had
improved our game well enough to explain the reason why we had played a certain card, in
response to the game plan opened up, they were confident enough to take us to evening whist
drives, where we often received praise for our knowledge of the game plan.
Mum remarried on 22nd July 1949, I declined the invitation to attend. She moved to
Plymouth with her new husband and my two sisters, Dad and I then shared our weekends
together without distraction. Invariably on the Saturday we would visit the home of Dad’s
parents for lunch, before watching a football match at White Hart Lane, or Highbury. Mum
wrote to me regularly and although I had not visited her during the Easter half term, she was
most insistent that I visited her during the long summer vacation.
As a teenager I collected stamps, but because I had few friends of my age to swap my
duplicates with, I was never passionate about this hobby, which I often dropped for months on
end and returned to later. During the 1948 Olympic Games held at Wembley Stadium, I
collected cigarette packets and matchbox covers that were of different design. I cycled to the
stadium each evening in order to look for foreign cigarette packets discarded by spectators.
Albert took me to the opening of the Olympics; he had been given free tickets for almost every
day of competition, owing to his job as a telephonist at the Alperton exchange in the days when
the switchboard had been operated manually. The automatic exchange was introduced just
before the Games started, but the manual system was retained to allow an additional facility
between the organisers of the Games and their many links to keep events running smoothly.
Albert was the personal connector between clients. (Many of my readers will remember using
that archaic manual telephone system). As my interest in sport increased, I cut out action
pictures of sporting events from newspapers and pasted them into a scrap-book. I had become
very much a loner, particularly after our first summer back in our own house in 1947, when Dad
caught me with my older friends’ scrumping fruit from our own back garden, on his early return
from a race meeting that evening at Wimbledon which had been unexpectedly cancelled. Dad
My Formative Years
19
didn’t punish me but teased me for years over my gullibility in telling the older boys that he
wouldn’t be home from work for hours.
I had no wish for the high life; I enjoyed school routine and my sporting interests. I was a
quiet lad, not wanting to attract attention in any way. When crew-cut hair styles were
fashionable, I kept the traditional style of short back and sides. Teddy boy hair style and
Edwardian suits, brothel-creepers and winkle-picker shoes were all the rage during the early
1950s. I was not interested in being fashionable or wearing designer labelled clothing. At no
time did it cross my mind to have my skin tattooed, or my nose or ear pierced in order to wear a
stud or any other jewellery. I had no desire to own a motor bike or a car, being contented with
travelling by bus or bicycle.
Dad had been living an unfulfilled life for four years at this time. Together we faced the fact
that at almost 16 years of age I could never have the family life I yearned after. Dad said he
believed I would be happier if I lived permanently with my mother and sisters and took his place
as head of his house. In my heart I knew that Dad would prefer to move back into Islington, to
save on the expense and time taken in commuting. Dad was also being badgered by his family
because Uncle Reggie was agitating to take over the tenancy of our home as he was shortly to
marry. I would not willingly move back into Islington, although Dad arranged that if I chose to,
we could have continued to live in the house with Reggie and Pat, following the completion of
my final term at school, whilst continuing to commute daily into London for my degree course. I
was shortly to sit the entrance examination of the College of Preceptors. I now believe that I
was afraid of failing my exams, as well as hating the quandary in which I found myself. On
reflection I acted stupidly. I reasoned that if I moved to Plymouth, Dad would have a more
agreeable way of life. I could not bear to think that I was a burden to him, and I really hated the
thought of extending my commuting to yet another school of learning by a further three years. I
felt quite embarrassed at my last Monday morning school assembly when I was called to the
podium. The headmaster said I would be sorely missed at the school, particularly by the cricket
team, as I had caught or bowled six of the opposing team out on the previous Saturday and
had amassed the highest individual amount of runs and had been declared as the ‘man of the
match’.
I guess that I was a very ordinary boy, who had missed much of the joy of a normal
upbringing. I had not had an idyllic childhood, but it could have been much worse. Perhaps in a
funny kind of way, I went through a similar process to many children who had lost their father or
whose families had been bombed-out (made homeless) during the war, as they came to terms
with growing up. I was conscious of the fathers of other families who had served overseas
during the war, contentedly resuming their pre-war life. All that had happened in my situation
was that I had exchanged my mother for my father. In effect I was raised in a one parent family
tragically missing out on God’s best designs for families. This chapter is about a lonely boy,
who yearned for a normal family upbringing; during a war that had beggared our nation, costing
the country dearly in terms of broken families’ through both death and divorce. It was only later
in my life that I became aware that no citizen is exempt from the expediency of its elected
government. Each country is given over to the government it deserves.
Chapter 2 - Out of the Frying Pan - into the Refiner’s Fire
21
The hope that my parents would be reconciled had turned to ashes. I did not have any
possessions only some changes of clothing, which I packed in a suitcase on moving to
Plymouth in June 1950. I soon developed a friendship with Ernie Weekes, a youth of my age
who lived in the same terraced block of terraced houses. Ernie suffered badly with asthma and
was often confined to bed. I used to play card games with him, when he was confined to bed,
but on his recovery we would go to the park, where he introduced me to his friends from the
Boys Brigade, with whom we played cricket and football all the daylight hours of that Summer.
Ernie’s well developed 18 year old sister Margaret also played cards with us in the evenings
and became my first girl friend. I had received no sexual education at school, and my idea of
sexual gratification was to fumble around her body whilst we were kissing; not that I allowed
her to touch my private parts!1 For a few weeks I attended a few Sunday morning services at
an Anglican Church in Salisbury Road, the street in which my family then lived. Mostly those
attending were pensioners and being a teenager, we had little of common interest. Unlike my
previous church, which had been well heated and well attended, this church was cold and
damp a mausoleum of a place and I was the only teenager attending. Until we moved house I
attended the Boys Brigade, which was based at the Methodist church adjoining our flat, it was a
more modern church than the Anglican Church and was a place where the youth chose to
congregate. Mum allowed me to enjoy the summer holiday, but just prior to my two sisters
returning to school, she enquired whether I intended to permanently live with her in Plymouth. I
told her that I had decided to live with them; I purposely had not told her I had left school, in
case I had decided I could not cope with her being married to another man than my Dad. I
really did not want to be a plumber, but I had no success in the several office and factory jobs
that I had applied for, and I agreed to apply for a job with John Ford Ltd, a plumbing and
heating firm as an indentured apprentice plumber. The evenings were drawing in, my friends
and I joined Virginia House Youth Club, and we joined the under-18 football team. As a
member of the National Association of Boys Clubs I was selected for county trials and was
selected to play for Devon. I received an invitation from Plymouth Argyle to attend for trials and
they signed me. I continued to playing for Virginia House when not been selected to play for
Plymouth Argyle. The following year in 1951 I arranged a friendly match between Virginia
House and my former London-based team (the name of which I have forgotten), at
Gunnersbury Park (near Hammersmith) over the Easter holiday weekend. I regularly wrote to
Dad, and I told him of my forthcoming match Dad, accompanied by a lady named Joan, 2 came
to watch the Easter Sunday friendly football match. This was the first time I had seen him since
moving to Plymouth. After the match (which Virginia House won) they took me to London Zoo,
where Dad actually asked for my approval of his intended proposal of marriage. I was so
pleased to give my assent. At least I had guessed correctly that Dad would enjoy a more
fulfilled life if he did not have to worry about my upbringing. Our coach party slept at the
Clapham deep shelters that Saturday night, although I slept at Nanny’s house who had moved
from Greenford to Harlesden. Later that year I did return to visit the Festival of Britain, when I
Today I imagine that intimacy would be called ‘heavy petting’, but I never progressed beyond that stage
in any other relationship, until I was 20 years of age, when I entered into a meaningful relationship with
the girl that I decided that I could spend my life with if she did become pregnant.
2 Dad had sold the paper pitch and was working for Lennie in his Betting Office in Kings Cross Road and
had set up home with Joan in the flat over the stationery and sweet shop that Lizzie was now running in
St Peters Street.
1
The Lord is My Shepherd
spent some time with Dad and with his fiancée, Joan.3 Their Registry Office wedding was held
on April 26th 1952, when Joan became Dad’s adoring wife. I didn’t attend the ceremony, I wish
that I had, but the journey to London took four hours by steam train and was expensive on my
low wage.
22
At the age of 16 years, I had been sharing the only bedroom in the basement flat with my
two sisters, aged 13 years and 10 years, whilst Mum’s double bed was in our lounge. Within a
year of my moving to Plymouth, my family unsurprisingly were allocated a council house within
a new council estate under construction at Whitleigh, near Crownhill, five miles from the city
centre where my firm’s headquarters (HQ) was based in Park Street (which was later
demolished in the redevelopment of the city centre). Mum and John equally had to allocate
more time travelling at greater cost to our work places, and my sisters still travelled to their old
school because their new school had not been built. Our new three bedroomed, centrally
heated semi detached Cornish Unit at 12 Dorchester Avenue, had a front and rear garden, as
had our house in Bourne View and was luxuriously spacious in comparison with our former flat.
We did not have a telephone and nor did my friends from the Boys Brigade, inevitably I never
kept in touch with my former friends from Greenford, and they like me relied on friends who
lived or worked near to their locality. We had only moved five miles, but it could have been fifty
miles! I ceased attending church until I married for the second time.
Initially I made the half an hour journey to work from Whitleigh by bus, but the bus fare was
four pence half-penny (4½d old money-about 2p new money) each way, which was a princely
sum to me, as I earned less than £2.00 per week. Buses were infrequent and were therefore
practically full from terminus to terminus. Quite often I would have to walk home because I was
often working at a place mid-way between the two termini. My sister Pat often recounted the
tale of her watching me from the front seat of a full bus, carrying her home from her school. I
was waiting at a request stop vainly attempting to wave the bus to a halt when it became
obvious from the sound of the engine that the bus was accelerating and not slowing down.
Despite the prospect of a three to four mile walk to endure, I was wearing a wide grin as the
bus sped passed. I remember telling Pat that I had thought to myself at the time, ‘Oh well, at
least it isn’t raining!’ This tale when repeated always caused much family laughter, for my
cheerful disposition and ear to ear grin was attested to by everyone who knew me. I bought
myself a bicycle soon afterwards, which saved me both time and money.
I served a full five year apprenticeship, not realising until three years of apprenticeship had
passed, that because of my time at a trade training school I was entitled to serve an
apprenticeship of only four years, also I should have been receiving a higher wage since my
first year as an apprentice. I was intimidated by my boss with the threat of losing my job if I
chose to ask my union to pursue my claim for the £100 that was due to me. One of the earliest
I did visit Dad and Joan quite regularly, although not as often as I would have liked. Later they had two
daughters, Vivienne and Denise and they were a very happy family for 22 years until Dad’s death through
emphysema. Dad’s health deteriorated until he reached a time when he could no longer climb the two
flights of stairs to the flat. They eventually were allocated a ground floor flat with a small garden in a new
high-rise block in Packington Square, where his family enjoyed the remainder of their time together.
Following Dad’s heart attack, together with Joan I visited Dad in hospital, and although he recognised me
he was unable to speak or even smile. After Dad died Joan had to move to a new flat in Popham Road.
Both my parents died of smoke related illnesses and Joan died through an asthma related condition, in
1989
3
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
23
contracts I had been employed on was at the Western National Bus Depot at Plympton a
contract taking several weeks to complete. The contract included replacing worn, rusting iron
guttering and down pipes with pre-formed asbestos substitutes which was believed to be less
corrosive and would require little or no maintenance. In those days the injurious effects of
asbestos were unknown. Working quite often in confined spaces, it was one of my tasks to
caulk the joints between material surfaces with an asbestos fibre, which was very friable on the
addition of a little water, but hardened like cement when it solidified, completing the bonding. At
the end of each working day I was covered with splashes of this mixture from head to foot.
Some months later I worked on a contract, which lasted for many months, laying asbestos
water mains through several miles of farmers’ land in the Roborough area of Dartmoor. I often
reflect that the Lord must have protected me from asbestosis for no one was agitating for the
wearing of protective clothing in the days prior to the health and safety standards. Whilst
attending Plymouth Technical College, I often cut my hands on lead sheeting or tubing, which I
regularly worked with in seeking to improve my practical skills for the forthcoming exams.
Sometimes I despaired of the infected blood coursing through my body (of which I wrote in
Chapter 1) as ever being restored to normal. Once or twice I suffered lead poisoning, the veins
of my arms becoming so enlarged and colourful they looked like a modern-day motorway map!
I recall on one isolated occasion that I had spent some days applying rust-proof paint to the
inside of large water storage tanks of a hospital. I had used an electric light connected to an
extension lead, plugged into the main electricity supply, as the main source of light. On refilling
the tanks, I stupidly lowered the light bulb on to the surface of the water and watched the bulb
‘swim about’ as I pulled the rubber coated lead first one way and then another. Fortunately I
suddenly became aware of the danger of my actions, and I carefully and slowly worked myself
to a position of safety. I felt quite shaky at my narrow escape from death. I had been crouching
on dry wooden planks which were traversing the galvanised iron tanks. If the planks had been
wet, or I had put my hand into the water, or touched the tank, I would have been electrocuted.
During the summer months whilst living in Plymouth, I played cricket for the Plymouth
Nondescripts and I played football for the ‘B’ team of Plymouth Argyle Football Club (FC), (the
fourth and most junior of teams for the two seasons 1951-53 in the Devon minor counties
league) having been recommended to the manager Jimmy Rae, by the manager of the Sunday
League team in London that I had previously played for. I was overawed at sharing a dressing
room with international players such as Jack Chisholm, (England) Billy Strauss (South Africa),
and Bill Short (Wales) who played for the premier team. I neither managed to break into
professional league football, nor move into a senior squad. I loved all forms of competitive
sport.
At the age of 17, I became curious in supernatural phenomena, in crossing the divide
between the living and the dead. My interest in psychic phenomena was aroused by reading an
article in the Sunday newspaper, ‘The News of the World’, about Harry Edwards, a spiritualist
faith healer. I bought psychic magazines and looked for spiritual enlightenment, through the
Spiritualist Church and experimented with faith healing, spirit writing and emptying my mind of
thought, in order that I could be more receptive to spiritual vibrations. I clearly remember on
June 2nd 1952, being invited to the home of Alf Screech, the plumber under whom I was
working as an apprentice at the time, to watch on TV the special public holiday celebrations on
the occasion of Queen Elizabeth’s Coronation. Having watched the ceremony, we played cards
until enjoying a late tea. Once we had cleared the table of our dirty crockery, Alf’s parents were
spirit mediums invited me to take part in their weekly séance. A spirit guide manifested itself as
a Chinese mandarin, with arms loosely folded, bowing his head repeatedly, smiled at me whilst
The Lord is My Shepherd
addressing me. I was told that the material trappings of life, particularly money and success,
would be my prime interest, but that at about my 50 th year, I would walk through the heavenly
gates of gold and silver, as my spiritual life took a change of direction. This prophecy was
fulfilled, for I was almost 50 years of age when I became a born again believer. It does seem
strange to me that the spirit guide did not lie, nor curse me, but could only bless me, with the
message of promise that his medium delivered (similar in fact to Balaam not being able to
curse the Israelites, Numbers Ch 22 to Ch 24). However, on reflection, perhaps I was being
told that my life was not sanctified and that I would remain a subject of Satan until I repented
and was born again, thereby changing the spirit guide’s words into a subtle curse. I was told
that I had my own spirit guide an American Indian named Silver Birch. Alf later told me that if I
developed the habit of staring transfixed at a mirror and emptied my mind of all thoughts, after
a minute or so my face would change into an image of this guide. I was willing to try anything,
but I did not experience any kind of manifestation, mainly because I sensed that such
behaviour would be unwise. Alf also introduced me to picnic days on the beach, which was
great fun and new to my experience, even though I had lived during the two previous summers
only a few miles from the sea. I had declined previous invitations to attend the weekly séances
at the home of the Screeches, but following my intriguing introduction I did occasionally attend,
more out of friendship than interest.
24
At 18 years of age I became interested in ballroom dancing, but attending dances and
having dancing lessons proved to be expensive. I needed a larger income to finance my new
hobby. I worked overtime on Saturdays in order to earn extra money and gave up playing in
football matches. Perhaps I should have persevered; in due time I may have become a full-time
professional with Plymouth Argyle, but the effort didn’t seem worth the slog, with so many other
gifted players on the club’s books. A full-time professional footballer’s wages were at that time
only £8 per week, no higher than my wages as a plumber and the prospects of a long career in
football were uncertain. Even at that time all players were advised to insure themselves against
sports injury, for fear of receiving a crippling injury that would result in being laid off work. I had
started attending a dance studio with friends and soon developed new friendships. I overcame
my shyness with girls, but not my self consciousness over my ‘gappy’ wide grin. The school of
dance organised a coach trip to Torquay where the Devon and Cornwall Open Dance
Championships were to be held at the Spa Ballroom, which I was keen to attend. I was
surprised to see Mr Johns, my plumbing instructor from the College of Arts and Technology,
with his wife as his partner, competing in the preliminary rounds. Having watched from the
gallery as one of an appreciative audience, ecstatically clapping the wonderfully executed
syncopated dance routines exhibited, I determined that I would venture further than Mr Jones
into the heats, in later years and so events proved. I had become pigeon toed due to the
sustained practising of dribbling with a football at my feet whilst running and jinking, passing
the ball repeatedly from foot to foot to improve my control, through perseverance it did not take
long to adjust my gait.
I knew of the Bobbie Cooper School of Dance, to where most Plymouth couples who were
interested in competitive dancing gravitated. Finding an unattached attractive dance partner,
prepared to enter into a platonic relationship in order to practice dance routines for four or five
evenings a week, proved to be very difficult; but I did meet a girl who did not have (nor wanted)
a regular dance partner. Pam was a sophisticated young lady, three years older than myself
and was employed by a firm of solicitors as a private secretary. I always made a bee-line for
her when the next dance was announced and tried regularly and unsuccessfully to persuade
her to be my full-time dancing partner. I pursued Pam so persistently that rather than be
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
25
embarrassed by my unwanted attention she stopped coming to the dance studio. I thought her
refusal to accept my overtures was due to my loud cockney dialect or my uneven toothy grin,
which was the reason I decided to have the remaining chipped front tooth removed. This tooth
had grown unevenly in the space meant for two teeth. I was pleased with my new denture, I felt
more confident in my appearance. Whilst at a dance in the Spa Ballroom in Torquay, I met
Barbara, a very pretty girl and talented dancer who lived in Newton Abbot. Barbara was also
searching for a permanent competitive dance partner with whom to enter into dance
tournaments. We decided to team up and we worked hard over six months at developing our
combined skills, achieving some small success. Because of the hour of travelling it took for
either of us to make the journey to the others home town, our practising was limited to
weekends only. Achieving a higher placing in a tournament than Mr and Mrs Johns was the
highlight of this brief relationship
Pam began attending the dance studio again after an absence of some months. Perhaps
Pam was intrigued by the success Barbara and I were enjoying, and wondered if it would be
worth a change of life-style to ‘give it a go’. Once again I tried to persuade her to become my
dancing partner, she was finally persuaded by other dancers, friends of many years standing,
(who had witnessed my own improvement over a short time) to try out her own undoubted but
untried competitive dance skills with myself as her partner. Unfortunately for Barbara I broke off
our partnership to further my ambition. Pam allowed herself to be persuaded, although it meant
her cutting back on her other interests. Like me, Pam had proven her individual skills in passing
the gold medal award for individual ballroom dancing. Pam and I often travelled to the
Hammersmith Palace in London at weekends for dancing lessons from Wally Friar, a former
world dance champion. Wally believed Pam and I had the qualities to become his professional
successors. We always arranged our dance lesson in London to coincide with a dance
competition, for all the top dancers and would-be aspirants like ourselves competed. I was too
overawed to speak to those we competed against, but mostly they were friendly and helpful.
Pam would have a fitting for a new ball gown, made by a top fashion designer during our
weekend trip, when she would stay with family friends, whilst I stayed with Dad and Joan. I
avidly read dance magazines repeatedly and recognised most other competitors from pictures
printed of them in magazines either dancing or collecting their prizes for their success in
competitions. Neither of us were romantics, we never went to restaurants for candlelit dinners;
picnic lunches on the beach on Sundays was our idea of fun. I am afraid I never developed the
habit of giving chocolates or flowers as presents, probably because of my frugal upbringing. I
often used to walk the five miles home from a dance that ended at midnight for I could not
afford the taxi fare home, and the busses did not run after 11 0 p.m. Pam and I enjoyed going
to the beach on Sunday, where she introduced me to her circle of non dancing friends. Over a
period of time our platonic relationship deepened and developed romantically with our constant
companionship. Les and Margaret Cardew, whom Pam had known since her school days in
Torpoint held weekly ouija board sessions, at which they summoned up friends who had died.
They had friends who held weekly séances, which I attended over a few months, but because
Pam was a practising Roman Catholic she chose not to accompany me. I learned that
everyone had an aura and my aura was coloured blue or turquoise which identified me as
having portrayed healing power. Certainly my mother believed in my gifting, she always
claimed she felt better after I had prayed for her. Whenever my mother was sick, she asked me
to lay hands on her and pray for her healing, or release from pain. After I married and moved
abroad, she would ask me to lay hands on her ‘in absentia’ and even that worked! Once we
married I never again attended a spiritualist church, or played the ouija board. but I was aware
The Lord is My Shepherd
of the ungodly power available to practitioners. I found both the Church and spiritualism to be of
no further interest to me.
26
Having completed my four years as an indentured apprentice plumber, my entry into the
Royal Air Force (RAF) was further delayed whilst Pam and I took part in the Devon and
Cornwall Open Amateur Ballroom Dance Championships. We were delighted to dance our way
into the Grand Finals (one of six couples, most of who lived in London and were planning
professional careers)at our first and only attempt. We had been dancing partners for only two
years and had become the top exponents in Plymouth of modern dance, but on my posting to
Malta, our situation changed. No couple would dance against us, because we were exhibition
dancers, rather they wanted us to entertain them, and for me to teach them all the latest dance
routines! We were regarded as exhibition dancers, a situation we had grown accustomed to,
but not an area in which we had ever been approached by dance hall managers or studios to
give exhibitions. We would please the others attending dances by dancing exhibition routines,
but our efforts were very low key and not for reward. I would not have asked Pam to marry me
so soon into our relationship if it had not been for the inducement of an extra six shillings a day
pay award that married servicemen received. I always felt that we had married too early into
our relationship. On the occasion of our engagement to be married, Mum advised me to buy
the most expensive betrothal ring that I could afford. She explained that many a time following
her marriage to my Dad she had pawned her engagement ring to finance her through the week.
Pam’s parents, Frank and Muriel Tunstall were the licensees of the Ferry Hotel PH, which
they had managed for almost 20 years having been in the pub trade for most of their married
lives. The dockland area of Devonport in which the pub was located was very seedy, but many
charismatic characters frequented the pub. Frank and Muriel were nominal Roman Catholics
and paid for Pam’s private education at a Catholic Convent school. Since Pam’s schooldays
she had regularly attended services of worship in Mount Pleasant Catholic Church, where we
married. I had to attend a couple of interviews with Pam and her priest, where I was advised of
the restrictions that I had to promise to conform to; that I would not interfere with the upbringing
in the Catholic tradition of any children from our marriage. I had to agree to a shortened version
of the full Catholic wedding service, because I was not of the Catholic faith. We married on
February 4th 1956 during the leave period granted, following the completion of my basic military
training (square bashing!) at RAF Bridgenorth. We had planned to marry on January 29 th but
were told I could not leave the unit prior to all other personnel of my intake departing. I even
arranged an interview with the chaplain to plead on compassionate grounds, but all in vain.
However it appeared that on being given an overseas posting, different rules applied and I was
sent on embarkation leave prior to the unit’s dispersion. It had proven unnecessary and
expensive to reprint our wedding invitations, but we had no choice.
On arrival in Malta on February 9th I was posted for trade training as a pay clerk to RAF
Luqa. For the two months before Pam joined me I had lived in a barrack-room dormitory on the
camp. My recreation times were taken up between playing cards and sport. I started playing
football again and quickly regained my former enthusiasm. During the evenings I would
accompany friends to a nearby dance studio for relaxation. The studio had no dance instructor
and because of my obvious ability, I was approached to become the official instructor. Before
long I was giving individual lessons and most of my free time was given over to teaching, for
which I received payment, but automatically I had forfeited my amateur status. On Pam’s
arrival, we moved into a one-bedroom flat on the top floor of a block of four flats also occupied
by servicemen’s families, in an area named Marsa. When the cricket season started, I was
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
27
selected to play for the Administration Wing team as I had been for the football team, and I
played on each Thursday (which was ‘sports afternoon’) until I was posted to RAF Takali some
15 months later.
Perhaps because I was not a ‘shift’ worker, I was detailed to become a permanent member
of the Guard of Honour, formed to parade before visiting dignitaries, and occasionally to fire a
rifle salute at funeral services. I well remember practising the ceremonial drill practices prior to
the Queen’s birthday parade at the parade ground in Floriana with the other armed services in
1956. The military services of Britain paraded in Floriana and marched through the city streets
of the capital Valletta for the march-past salute at the ceremony of the city keys being
bestowed on Her Majesty’s (HM) Services through Queen Elizabeth’s emissary. I was the right
hand ‘marker’ on the front rank of six men and was the only man who did not respond to the
‘eyes right’ order, so that our column did not deviate from our course. My companions in the
‘other ranks’ at these times were all Church of England (C of E’s), however on the occasion of
Station parades, all RC’s and Jews, were ordered to ‘fall out’, whilst the padre offered a prayer
to the God whom the rest of us on parade presumably worshipped. The padre’s prayer meant
nothing to me at all. Shift worker or not, for several weeks after my arrival I was detailed to take
part in night patrols around the camp and airfield. General Nasser of Egypt had the temerity to
‘liberate’ the Suez Canal from control of what was left of the British Empire and there was much
talk of war. Within a few weeks of regular night patrols, a dog patrol team with their handlers
were sent out from the UK and my part in night duties were thankfully behind me.
Initially my aspirations on becoming a serviceman had been to save up as much money as
possible, in order to finance a mortgage on my demobilisation, at which time I had intended to
take up my trade again. Whilst serving overseas, I was entitled to overseas family allowances
which greatly increased my non-taxable income. I decided to sign on for 12 years service in the
RAF because the pay I received as a long term serviceman was greater than I could earn as a
plumber and I was enjoying my change of occupation, not to mention the warmer climate of
Malta. I had also received the added inducement of a £100 gratuity for signing on. Over the
Easter of 1957 I put my name onto a camp-wide invitation for a free one-way flight to the United
Kingdom (UK) in an RAF Shackleton aircraft (which was in need of a specialist refit). I returned
to Malta on a commercial air flight after my two weeks leave. With the money I had saved from
teaching dancing I had intended to buy a motor car whilst in the UK. Unfortunately, on arrival at
the London office of the Ford Motor Company, I was required to sign a document agreeing to
my arranging for the car’s immediate shipment to Malta, whereas I had intended to leave it
garaged in England, until returning from my posting. Although I could have lied and escaped
detection I decided not to proceed with the deception. On the return flight to Malta, the airliner
flew over the American Sixth Fleet, which was steaming out to the Suez to oppose Britain’s
plans to invade, the armada was threateningly impressive! The cost of my one-way seat on the
aircraft was £32 at that time and I confess to fearing a ballistic attack against our aircraft, which
would have meant I had paid to attend my own funeral!
Pam made her intentions clear to me very soon after her arrival in Malta that she did not
want to prepare my breakfast. We did not argue over this matter, although I had always nursed
a belief that love could better flourish if all meals were shared together. Pam discussed the
subject with an army wife at a party who had many years earlier refused to arise early in order
to prepare her husband’s breakfast and recommended Pam to do the same. I was the third
member of the tripartite conversation, sipping on our drinks at the time but my views were not
sought! We received a letter from Pam’s younger sister Sheila, who had married some time
The Lord is My Shepherd
before our marriage, advising us that she was pregnant. Pam’s reaction was jealousy; she also
wanted to have a baby, although we had not discussed earlier starting a family. Pam had
previously obtained a secretarial position within the RAF Malta HQ administrative system,
obliging her to get out of bed at the same time as myself, in order to prepare for her own day’s
work. We did have breakfast together from that time, but only until she stopped working later
into her pregnancy. During the earliest weeks of Pam’s pregnancy, when suffering morning
sickness, she would irritably say that if I wanted more sex than was acceptable to her, then I
should look elsewhere for satisfaction. Later, whenever we had a minor altercation, she would
not compromise over our differences but would withdraw sexual favours until I submitted to her
conclusions! She would nurse her hurt feelings and I would respond by pretending that I was
not bothered by her indifference and I fell into the sin of denial which only exacerbated our
problems. I remember that we once cohabited for six weeks without sex and no other
expressions of love. Pam had refused me sex one night, and childishly I determined that we
would not make love again until she asked me, for what I had previously believed to be joint
conjugal rights.
28
Shortly after ‘signing on’, I volunteered to be posted to a smaller station in Malta, RAF
Takali where two of my friends were working in the pay accounts section. There was not the
opportunity to play sport at RAF Takali as there had been at RAF Luqa. Takali was a much
smaller station and the times of duty on the station were different than those of RAF Luqa and
internal unit sports leagues were non-existent. In order to have the weekend’s free, personnel
were ordered to start work at 7.30 a.m throughout the week and work through the Thursday
sports half day. On alternate Wednesday nights I was detailed to sleep on the premises to
guard the night safe which housed the pay of the men who served on the outlying signal
stations, whose pay I was responsible for calculating and which was distributed on the following
day. (I never understood why our officers could not have collected the sum of wages to be
distributed from the bank, and deliver it earlier in the day of the pay-parade concerned, - no big
deal, that was how we arranged matters at RAF Luqa). My extra duties were totally unjustified,
for I was the only married airman in the accounts department, whilst four other airmen of my
rank, all of whom were single and living on the campsite could have taken turns with me. At
every other unit I knew of, the night duties were shared on a roster basis. I was also the
account section’s sole member on the funeral party which practised and performed very
regularly for surprisingly quite a few personnel died, even though we were not experiencing war
conditions. One of the non commissioned officers (NCOs) in charge (i/c) of the pay accounts
section, through vindictiveness, threatened me with disciplinary action, if I continued to give
dancing lessons, forcing my compliance with his orders. I don’t know why he disliked me, but
he enjoyed demonstrating his power over my lowly stature, as if to warn the others of my rank
not to upset him. My previous section officers at RAF Luqa had not adopted such a tyrannical
attitude. The lame excuse given to me was that I was a serviceman for 24 hours of every day
and was not allowed to have any other employment. I was just beginning to experience how the
‘old boy’ network could be used to spoil the advancement of my career in the RAF. I regretted
my posting to Takali, where I was truly victimised. The only happy memory I have of Takali is
that my daughter Kim was born at the Queen Alexander’s Hospital at Medina which towered
high above RAF Takali whilst I served there. We also moved from Marsa to a service flat in
Hamrun, where we made many new friends, with whom we spent many evenings’ playing
cards. I was dogged in all my subsequent postings by superior ranked people who sought to
crush my spirit and who seemingly found satisfaction in inhibiting my aspirations of promotion,
by awarding me very negative annual assessments.
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
29
Alcohol features very highly as the fuel needed to stimulate a party or to relieve boredom or
loneliness for servicemen when off duty and feeling homesick. Some of our neighbours in the
flats were aircrew and regularly flew to Cyprus where bottles of spirits were available very
cheaply, and they were pleased to buy stock on our behalf. Pam and I had many aircrew
friends who invited us to their parties and of course we in turn hosted our own parties.
Occasion I would attend a farewell party of a colleague. I drank to excess on most such
occasions, not nightly or even weekly, but more often than was good for my well being. Pam
accepted my behaviour because it was intermittent and was common among servicemen
overseas. Weekends and during leave periods we spent our days on the beach in the hot sun,
bathing in the Mediterranean Sea. We returned to England in August 1958, Kim was two
months old and Pam was two months pregnant with our daughter Leigh.
Malta was affectionately known as ‘the Island of smells, bells and pregnant women’! It was
certainly an eye-opening experience to experience from my non-religious upbringing. Roman
Catholicism was the national religion and the people were very law abiding and hard working.
Churches were packed out at every service, which were held several times every day. Those
unfortunate to arrive late knelt on the steps leading to the church entrance. During street
processions on ceremonial occasions it was a common occurrence to witness devotees
flagellating themselves in penitence for their sinful lives. The most usual way to express one’s
mortification was for the mortified to flagellate themselves by shuffling forward as part of the
procession (as a chained slave might do) on their knees behind an icon that was paraded at
the head of the procession, headed by a brass band playing mournful dirges, presumably to
attract the attention of those not taking part with the procession. All public transport and most
private cars featured religious cameos and pictures or icons of the Madonna, illuminated by the
vehicle’s battery. This was done to ensure that accidents would be averted through the blessed
mother Holy Mary who protected devotees from harm. As a side benefit it was believed that
would-be thieves would not steal from a car displaying a shrine. Contraception was frowned on
by the priesthood and one couldn’t buy any form of birth control from any chemists shop. On
one occasion Pam inadvertently left our flat in a sleeveless dress, a policeman sent her home
to dress more modestly! When swimming in the sea or sunbathing on the beach, Maltese
females, including their young children were fully covered from wrist to ankle, in a black cotton
garment. They took this precaution for the sake of modesty and in order not to reveal their bare
skin, which might provoke the lust of a male.
My 2½ years of service in Malta ended in August 1958 was followed by less than a year of
service at RAF Innsworth in Gloucestershire, which was followed by a 2½ year posting to
Singapore between June 1959 and December 1961. With the constant arrivals and departures
of personnel, there were always plenty of invitations to parties. At least I could choose my
friends, if not my immediate superiors. Pam and I enjoyed a very good social life, totally
different from my former civilian lifestyle, although service life as a married man in England was
little different from that of my civilian counterparts. In Singapore all personnel were expected to
employ an ‘amah’, a servant woman who also carried out the duties of a nanny. Her wages
were paid for courtesy of the British government. Meenachi, our Indian amah, had two children
and loved our two little ones as if they were her own. She lived in Seletar village some five
miles from the village of Sambawang, where we lived, which itself was 13 miles away from the
RAF station where I worked each day. This arrangement enabled Pam to spend more quality
time with the children than she would have been able to provide in England. We lived in our two
bedroomed bungalow at Sambawang for a few months until I was fortunate to learn of a large
house in Hong Kong Park, which the owners were prepared to temporarily rent to the RAF as a
The Lord is My Shepherd
hiring. This palatial home was about five miles nearer to my work place, which was very
convenient. The only drawback was that we had to find a new amah; for Meenachi was not
prepared to travel the extra distance to our new home. We kept in touch with her though,
through my friend Stan Brockelsby, with whom I had been stationed at Innsworth during our
short posting between overseas tours, and who moved into our former home. We befriended a
Plymouth naval couple Dez and Joyce Smithfield, who lived on the same estate; I recognised
Joyce as a girl I had seen at dances in Plymouth some years earlier. We played cards and
board games together most Saturday evenings, and as they had a car we later attend a bingo
sessions, a weekly event for married service personnel, or perhaps just drive to Bugis Street to
buy a Chinese take-away meal!
30
Shortly after moving into our fine new house, Pam became pregnant. She had not wanted a
third child and made my life a misery badgering me to help her find an abortionist. Fortunately
although we tried to find a local doctor who might perform the operation we were unsuccessful
in our searches. I know that Pam loved our son Kerry who was born in the Queen Alexandria
Hospital at Tanglin on December 21st 1960, but the truth was Pam was a career girl and was
anxious to return to full-time employment. After a few months our lovely home in Hong Kong
Park was taken from us as the landlord decided to live in the house himself. We moved to
another bungalow closer to the RAF station where I served, but the accommodation and the
Nee-Soon neighbourhood was very seedy. On the plus side we did secure the services of a
new live-in amah a single Malayan girl named Chua who had her own room of our bungalow,
which was convenient for baby sitting. I learned to play badminton to a reasonable standard
whilst stationed in Singapore. My Malaysian colleagues were extremely good teachers.
Academically I studied and passed the General Certificate of School Education (GCSE)
examination in Mathematics, English Language, Principles of Accounts and the General Paper
to ‘O’ (Ordinary) level in business studies. I also passed by correspondence course the Royal
Society of Accountants (RSA) Intermediate Examination in Book-keeping. My attempt to
remuster to air-crew during my time in Singapore with all my trophies of education came to
nothing, on failing the preliminary entrance examinations.
I was selected from the list of applicants to receive a week’s holiday from the humidity of
Singapore by enjoying the cool air of Fraser’s Hill jungle camp in the highlands of Malaya. The
fortunate few were taught how to survive in an unfriendly jungle but in an enjoyable setting.
This memorable break occurred just after my family moved from our RAF hiring in Nee-Soon
into married quarters at RAF Tengah, where we lived for our last six months in Singapore. I
thought our family life would be inviolable in this environment. Life was certainly far more
relaxed, with a bus service from the married quarters to the Station swimming pool and cinema
and the Navy, Army and Air Force Institute (NAAFI) Club. Surprisingly the camp was struck
with a water-born infection when, during a water supply breakdown, all homes were provided
with water from the emergency water bowser. The water tank was contaminated and almost
everyone on the unit fell sick. The hospital was filled to overflowing with servicemen and their
dependants. People were collapsing like ninepins and confined to their beds; not the safe
environment that I had thought it to be!
Following my six week disembarkation leave on returning to England in December 1961, I
was posted to RAF Hospital Wroughton in Swindon where I served until 1964. Muriel Palin, the
wife of Eric one of my colleagues from work, offered to look after our children whilst Pam took a
full-time secretarial post at the hospital where I worked. Pam was so excited to return to the
work place. In return Pam gave half of her salary to Muriel. Unfortunately Muriel found that
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
31
looking after her three youngsters and our three was too tiring and she gave Pam a months
notice to find someone else to look after our children. Pam was desperate to work and
searched around for someone-anyone, the result was a tragedy. We employed a young girl
from the village. We very soon realised that she was rifling through our possessions and
stealing money. But Pam was prepared to put up with that, despite my protestations. I had tried
several times, unsuccessfully, to obtain another overseas posting for I was as equally
desperate as Pam that she should become a full-time mother at home and I was unhappy in
my work-place. As a 12 year serviceman, I was allowed by the Queen’s Regulation to remuster
to my previous civilian trade, in order to sharpen up on my earlier skills, to equip me for my
return to civilian life. For a year prior to my remustering to my civilian trade, I had been allowed
day release from the RAF to attend Swindon Technical College, during which period I also
passed my driving test at the third attempt (I failed firstly in Malta and secondly in Singapore).
My posting to RAF Waterbeach was delayed until after I had sat for the City and Guilds
Certificate in Advanced Plumbing Technology, which I was delighted to pass.
Prior to my final posting I played at centre forward for our station football team in the finals
of the RAF Hospitals Cup. I scored a hat-trick but my team still lost 4-3. It is strange that every
time my life changes direction I have been gifted with a memorable final experience on moving
on to a change in my former life. At my final (Monday) morning school assembly, my
headmaster said how much I would be missed, especially by the school cricket team, for I had
scored the highest amount of runs of our team on the previous Saturday, and caught, bowled
or run out eight of the opposition, I was declared man of the match. Similarly prior to
conscription Pam and I danced our way into the grand finals of the Amateur Devon and
Cornwall Open Ballroom Dance Championships (the last six couples). The last football match I
played for RAF Wroughton Hospital was the final of national RAF cup match, in which I scored
my first and only hat-trick, in a match we lost 4-3, again I had been declared man of the match.
I was posted the following week to RAF Waterbeach, having re-mustered from pay accountant
to my civilian trade of plumber. We moved from our married quarters, back to the home of my
‘in-laws’ who had always been very good to us and had provided accommodation ‘free of
charge’ for uncertain periods of time. The first occasion was for three months when my tour of
duty in Malta had ended, when I was posted to RAF Innsworth in Gloucestershire, when we
moved into a RAF hiring. Our stay at the Ferry Hotel was repeated on our return from
Singapore for a similar period until we were allocated married quarters at RAF Wroughton
Hospital. When we were stationed in England we spent our Christmas and summer holidays
each year with my in-laws, partly because my family were also living in Devon, but mainly
because both sets of grand-parents loved to see the kids as often as possible.
Following my period of leave, I drove my recently acquired Morris 1000 Traveller to my new
unit. I had spent much of my free time looking for family accommodation and was fortunate to
find a house in Chesterton, which the RAF were anxious to include as an RAF hiring, but I had
to defer any progress because my unit was put on a war footing. Turkey was thought to be
contemplating invading Cyprus. I had been stationed at RAF Waterbeach only a month when I
was issued tropical kit and an identity card that had an enclosure written in both Greek and
Turkish. I was bundled off to RAF Innsworth, where I waited with the other airmen for a
Command decision whether we would be posted to Cyprus as a support unit or dispersed.
Naturally I would have been separated from my family and my tour of duty would have been on
a war-footing, with all the ramifications that such a posting implies, but I would have welcomed
the opportunity of service somewhere bathed in Middle Eastern sun. On my return to RAF
Waterbeach, I found there was a letter awaiting my attention from the secretary to the
The Lord is My Shepherd
Registered Plumbers Association (RPA) congratulating me on my recent award and offering
me the opportunity to apply for two job interviews. The RPA were prepared to recommend me
for both positions, one as an estimator, and the other as a technical sales demonstrator. Both
positions paid far more money than the £8.16s old money (£8.70p new money) that a plumber
could earn working a 44 hour week earned prior to my conscription. I was astonished but was
unable to do anything about any future prospects at this stage. Pam joined me in Cambridge
during August and the children were all set to attend the local school for the winter term. Pam
obtained a job working for a travel agent and we employed a lady to look after our children and
cook our meals, whilst we were both at work.
32
I was disillusioned by my irrelevancy at Waterbeach. I worked in the stores, painting walls,
sweeping floors and digging ditches, a monotonous waste of effective manpower. My lower
back was giving me trouble, caused by moving heavy filing cabinets from one office into
another, when stationed at Takali, which periodically caused great discomfiture, for which I was
admitted to Wroughton Hospital for investigation and observation. My condition was not
improved by leaving my sedentary post after eight years and then being mainly on my feet all
the working day doing manual work. I applied for a medical discharge at Waterbeach and was
advised that my medical discharge would take about three months to complete. I should have
been served with a termination of tenure notice for my RAF accommodation, once my
demobilisation was confirmed. I was well aware of the correct procedure to ensure cessation of
tenure and used that knowledge for my own advantage. I wrote to The Nuralite Company
Limited (Co Ltd), one of the two companies whose job specification I had received, and applied
for an interview, which I successfully negotiated. I was offered the position of a regional
technical sales representative and was provided with a Mini-Minor car plus £1100 per year
salary and a limited expense budget. The Nuralite group manufactured a sheet roofing material
which was a mixture of asbestos and pitch which, after processing, was cut into manageable
2.5m by 1m sheets for storage, one sheet on top of another. My job was to demonstrate to
users on site and to apprentice plumbers in Technical Colleges throughout East Anglia, the
versatility and durability of Nuralite. I also called on architects, to persuade them of the cost
advantages of this sheet roofing material over other more proven materials. As a born optimist
with a big smile, I was a natural communicator, always friendly and helpful, without being
‘pushy’ which put my clients at ease. I had been employed for a month or so when my
employers promoted an in-house sales competition in which I won second prize, which was
flattering, if slightly surprising.
On returning home from work each evening I would pop in to the local pub for a pint of beer
or two. It was here that I befriended Pete Dixon, a local bookmaker, who had divorced his wife,
some years earlier. He showed me over his former matrimonial home, which was fully
furnished, even to linen, crockery, cutlery and furniture. The contents also included a washing
machine, an electric floor polisher, a vacuum cleaner, a lawn mower and all the other garden
equipment that one needs to start up a home. If all the items which we were given for free were
bought as new on moving to a new home, by a first-time householder, the total cost would
amount to a princely sum of money. Most families have to scrimp and scrape to furnish or
equip their home or garden; and here was I being offered them without any extra payment.
Pete sold me his three bedroomed semi-detached house with garage, complete with contents
for £4,600 (which he had vacated when his wife left him), which gave us the opportunity to start
off in civilian life, from a secure financial position. We vacated our subsidised RAF hiring and
moved into the village of Histon where we lived for 11 years until October 1976. I sold our first
home for £7,000 some two years later; I was surprised to learn that this house in 2007 was up
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
33
for sale at £125,000! I soon realised that to do my job effectively, It was necessary for me to
spent much of my own money than the monthly expense allowance allocated, which meant that
I was effectively subsidising my employer, I started to scan the local papers for other sales
opportunities, for I now had a ‘track record’. Within a year of leaving the RAF, I had applied for
and been appointed to the position of area sales manager for Naylor Brothers (Clayware) Ltd, a
large privately owned company, that manufactured vitrified clay products for use in drainage
and sewage purification.
Our family quickly settled down into village life and our two girls enjoyed their new school.
Kerry was soon at school which allowed Pam to return to full-time employment as a medical
secretary at the local hospital. Some years following Pam’s continuous loyal service at
Chesterton old people’s hospital she was offered the post of Medical Records Officer. As our
children grew up and we were better able to afford baby sitters, Pam and I found ourselves
enjoying freedom to visit friends either in their homes or join with them for a meal in restaurants
or enjoy dinner dances. On becoming a member of the Round Table at the age of 30 and then
on my joining the Freemasons, another ‘male only’ club, just a year later, I was mixing with
people who often did not have children and who were successful in their profession. The
Round Table is an international organisation run on behalf of its members as a social club for
businessmen under 40 years of age. I had been a heavy drinker for many years, which was
connected with my service life and my unsatisfactory marital situation. Unfortunately our
opposing strong wills caused too many difficulties for me to accept and I had secretly vowed
years earlier that I would leave Pam, when the children were adults. I stayed in the relationship
purely because of my love for our children, and because I could not bear the thought of not
seeing them each day on our marriage ending in separation.
At the age of 31 years, I enjoyed an income that placed me in the top 10% of wage earners
in Britain. On leaving my former company I had virtually doubled my annual salary and
exchanged my Mini for a Corsair, with my expense account only being governed by my
effectiveness. Some years after joining Naylor’s an American team of sales consultants were
employed for a week of training. The motive was to teach our sales force their successful
methods of planning their daily routine, in order to improve our weekly time plan. Some of my
colleagues were upset by the implication that their performance could be better, but I thought
my employers were acting wisely in presenting us with good marketing techniques. My
colleague’s resentment was muttered over in the evenings, on our return to our hotel. Finally
the resentment was publicly expressed, during an honest appraisal of the conference. In
exasperation the leading marketing consultant said that he was not trying to teach experienced
salesmen how to suck eggs, but to consider whether our administration could be more efficient.
He said further ‘There is only one man in this room who could put on a white suit and
wearing a carnation could go into the West End of London and sell anything, and that’s
Alf.’’ I was greatly flattered and uncharacteristically dumbstruck! I no longer suffered from low
self confidence. My success had cultivated a desire in me to be liked and even admired for my
achievements. I now realise that pride in one’s self-image is equally as poisonous to human
character as a low self esteem.
Two years later, we moved into the second of the three houses we occupied in Histon
village, each home larger than the previous one. Our second house was a four bedroomed
semi-detached house with integral garage. Our home cost us £9,500 in 1966 and having built a
single storied study and storeroom into our garden we sold the greatly extended house for
£14,500 in 1970. Our final dwelling place was a three bedroomed detached house with integral
The Lord is My Shepherd
garage, and a free standing double width caravan garage, in which we housed our two cars. I
used the integral garage partly as an office and partly as a weight training room. Having lived in
this lovely home for two years, we had a double storied extension constructed in our garden
providing a large lounge on the ground floor and a fourth bedroom and en-suite bathroom
above. Each time we moved we increased the size of our house and the size of our mortgage.
We were climbing the ladder of worldly success, which had become very important to us.
34
On moving my family to Chesterton from Wroughton, I had signed on to play football for
Chesterton Athletic FC, and I regularly played until the end of the 1967 season. I then joined for
one season, the Bell School of Languages FC playing in the South Midlands League before
signing to play for my local team, Histon FC until 1971. I was piling on the weight at this stage,
caused by too much wining and dining with customers and lack of sufficient exercise. I could no
longer command a regular place amongst my protégés. I regularly played in the occasional
social game for the Cambridge Round Table soccer team.
It was at a Round Table cricket match against Stamford Round Table that one of my fellow
‘tablers’ offered to teach me how to play squash rackets, for our defeated opponents had
challenged our cricket team to a game of squash in return for the thrashing we had just inflicted
upon them. My sporting career became revitalised. I must have been a prime candidate for a
heart attack prior to taking up the game of squash at 37 years of age. I loved this game and
enthusiastically went about improving my ability and fitness. I had been a smoker since I was
16 years of age, firstly of cigarettes and then a pipe for a short time. But, in 1971 I interspersed
my smoking of cigarettes with cigars. I had no breath in my lungs to run around the squash
court, but I was determined to improve my lung capacity and skill at squash and I broke the
smoking habit. I played squash most days of the week, and as my fitness improved I began
playing twice most days, which led to my shedding a lot of weight. As usual with activities I took
up, I became a fanatic. In order to improve my fitness I would run everywhere in preference to
walking, I never used a lift (an elevator) and ran up any flights of stairs two at a time. My weight
reduced from 13½ stone (85.7 kg) to 11½ stone (73 kg) over a three year period, as my surplus
fat changed into muscle. As an enthusiastic squash player, I quickly became interested in
improving my ability to county level. I wasn’t quite good enough to hold a regular place, but I
was a competent administrator and was soon appointed as county secretary. I was invited to
become both the area representative and the area squash coach for the region (East Anglia)
for the Squash Rackets Association (SRA), which co-opted me onto the committee of the
governing international body of the SRA. I passed an examination in coaching and refereeing
and soon began conducting courses myself, both in England and abroad. I travelled
extensively to play in team matches or organise county or international squash tournaments in
which I also refereed. I helped with the seeding of players and obtained sponsorship for
tournaments at appropriate venues. I turned professional and was elected onto the committee
of the equivalent professional body of the SRA. I consumed less alcohol than I had previously
and needed lengthier periods of sleep to restore my body. I developed a habit of asking my
host at parties, after two or three hours of partying, if I could have the use of a bedroom in
order to have a short sleep, whereas formerly I would continue in revelry until the early hours. I
was in good physical shape and was successful at my job. I was well respected in my
profession and in my sport, but my life was a charade. Unfortunately, my restored fitness did
not extend to include my moral conduct, which had deteriorated as my worldly prosperity
increased.
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
35
Throughout our married life in Histon I was entertaining clients and their wives and
generally finding myself enjoying a life-style that I had only dreamed about. Almost inevitably I
found myself flirting with some of the wives with whom I danced at social events and often I had
to refuse their blandishments. But in the way of the world, having been married for 12 years, I
succumbed to the temptation of taking a lover. It appeased my conscience to know that my
lover’s husband was also enjoying extra marital relationships outside his own married life.
Although sex played a part in this extra marital relationship, it was the comfort of being able to
talk about a whole range of concerns that I never found occasions to discuss with Pam, that so
appealed to me, and to a lesser extent the spicy thrill of an illicit liaison. My mistress and I were
not in love and did not demand any undying commitment of each other. The cause of the
ending of our relationship was her husband’s relocation outside of East Anglia. I knew myself to
be on the slippery slopes leading to greater sinfulness, when about a year after my lovers’
departure I entered into a string of relationships. I did not look to repeat what had seemed to
me to be the eminently suitably arrangement that I had previously enjoyed, but invariably my
partners were married with families of their own, who felt life had passed them by and owing to
a stable but uneventful marriage thought of it as being humdrum and themselves as no longer
attractive. They longed for more attention and affection than they currently received from their
respective husbands, and wanted some excitement in their lives. I did not want my children to
think that I was leaving home because I had found a more suitable partner than Pam. I certainly
was not seeking to find a better mother for them. I was certain that once out of this marriage, I
would never again risk the pain of an unhappy (although never a violent) marriage. I loved my
children and I had never wanted to hurt them, but the final decision to leave home came when
Pam overcome with stress at my philandering, broke down at a party one night, stayed the
night with friends and later went home to her mother for a few days, in order to let us both
review the situation. Our marriage problems were now in the public arena, and I saw no point in
trying to repair something that had been broken years earlier.
Following our 20th wedding anniversary celebration, my conscience would not allow me to
go through the charade of acting as a happily married man any longer; in a marriage which
might extend into a further 20 or even 40 years of hypocrisy. At 42 years of age, I could see no
way out of my dilemma other than separation and ultimately divorce, which was all too
acceptable in the society I was living in. Pam had previously found out about my infidelity and
begged me to put my unfaithfulness behind me and make a fresh start at our marriage. I had
not realised that I was going through the mid-life crisis that creeps up on many couples (mainly
the male member and I use this term advisedly) who haven’t beaten the wives or children, or
been subject to other unhealthy addictions. Since becoming a believer in Christ I realise that
we (and myself in particular) should have sought readily available secular marriage guidance
counselling. It was a shame that we were not members of a church, for we could have obtained
spiritual guidance and support.
I had habitually masturbated as an adolescent, which I continued to do until I separated
from Pam. It gives me great sadness to admit to this aberration. As a youth I had been told by
my troop leader that Lord Baden Powell, the founder of the scout movement encouraged
masturbation as a healthy expression of moving into puberty, and reportedly said that around
13 years of age, one should not repress the sexual urge. Fortunately I had a fear of
impregnating any female which prevented me from forming any sexual relationships until I
knew I was involved in a relationship that would blossom into marriage. My reader will
understand that girls may bestow sexual favours on a male she is sexually aroused by, as an
inducement to a more permanent relationship. This decision by her may have been reached
The Lord is My Shepherd
during a previous relationship with an earlier lover. I am not suggesting that such a girl is
promiscuous, but I imagine all mankind would prefer a virgin for a life-time partnership. It also
follows that a girl on becoming pregnant may insist on having an abortion even at the invitation
to marry. I was fortunate to have parents who elected to marry at my conception, despite the
protestations of my father’s family. However, my parent’s relationship had not lasted, and there
was no guarantee that any relationship I entered into would be any better. It is important for me
to record this character weakness is caused through fantasizing over sexual encounters and
can lead into sexual experiments and is totally unbiblical. It is increasingly harder for the mind
of our youth to remain sexually pure owing to the advent of explicitly sexual scenes on most TV
channels and the advent of the pornographic shops in our high-streets, with their paraphernalia
and magazines on open display. On many occasions the Lord has used my unredeemed
experiences when counselling Christians suffering from depression and even suicide over
similar mental aberrations. I am able to identify with their shame and convince tormented souls
that they can be forgiven. Many of my childhood friends confided in me that they were
experiencing sex with their girlfriends very early into their relationships; invariably this was due
to lack of sexual education in those earliest years following the Second World War. I had been
sexually active from my mid-teens without being sexually fulfilled, due to my fear of
impregnating a partner.
36
About a year before leaving home, I had been approached by Dave King, a local sporting
celebrity, who was keen to learn more about squash coaching, as he wanted to qualify as an
officially approved SRA coach. I suggested if we worked together he would learn the skills
more quickly. St Ivo Leisure Centre had recently been completed in the town of St Ives and
Dave had been invited by the management of the St Ivo Centre, to coach possible regular
patrons. We started a course of coaching squash twice a week, at which 100 people a week
sought group lessons and were keen to support us further by buying their sports clothing and
equipment from us. We used the fees that we charged to buy squash equipment and clothing,
which we sold to our patrons. Dave was also a gifted administrator and was very willing to help
me organise the Cambridgeshire County Closed Championships and other tournaments. I just
loved my involvement in squash and I was keen to start up my own business as an owner or
manager of a squash club and I spent some time investigating possibilities, Pam made it clear
that she did not want to venture into business, for she recalled that her parents had never taken
holidays together, and that Christmas day (being the only day on which they didn’t open for
business in the evening) was the only day of the year that all her family sat down for lunch
together, and that was only after the pub closed following the morning session. I believe it was
the issue of wanting to run my own business that finally precipitated my leaving the matrimonial
home after 20 years of marriage.
Perhaps the break-up of my marriage was a consequence of my destabilised upbringing (I
had not turned out to be very different from Granddad Droy, except that he had never deserted
his matrimonial home). Perhaps having married so young I was immature. I acknowledge that I
had not been head over heels in love, but I thought our partnership would result in a successful
marriage. How naïve; how complacently self-opinionated, how stupid I was! In October 1976 I
caused much distress to my family, when, after 20 years of marriage, I walked away from my
filial responsibilities, although I continued to meet the mortgage repayments on our home for
over a year until I had exhausted my resources. Hating myself for putting my self interest first, I
chose to walk away from my marriage rather than continue in a loveless marriage. For some
time I was no longer enjoying my job with Naylor’s, because I had spent a great deal of time
with contractors arguing over the quality of our drain pipes with contractors and squabbling
Out of the Frying Pan – Into the Refiner’s Fire
37
over whose responsibility it was for the clay pipes now being manufactured in longer lengths
regularly snapped in the centre, very soon after the trenches had been backfilled, particularly
when lain in roads where heavy traffic flowed. The consequential damage was costing
considerable sums of money for the contractors to put right, and the contractors looked to
Naylor Bros for compensation, which strained my relationships with contractors whose
friendships I had cultivated and developed over many years. My self-esteem could not have
been lower, but unexplainably I was relieved that my deception and my lack of commitment to
family continuity was not a secret.
On my decision to leave home, Dave brought the van that we had recently purchased
around to my home and packed up my personal effects. A Round Tabler colleague, who
attended our coaching clinics, provided me a room for a few days hoping I would return to my
family. When it became apparent after a week or two that I was not going to return home, I was
asked to make more permanent arrangements elsewhere. It was Derek and Pauline Medlock,
another couple who attended our squash clinics, and whom I had played in the same
badminton club with some years earlier that provided me with a room in their home. Soon
afterwards Dave and his wife, Meg, together with Derek and Pauline decided to increase their
mortgages to enable us to take out a mortgage for the purchase of a building in the main street
of St Ives and we created a sports shop on the ground floor and fishing tackle shop and kitchen
on the first floor, renovating the floor above into a comfortable bachelor flat for my occupation,
housing an office, a staff lounge and a bathroom. King Alfred Sports Limited was created and I
had a bedroom which I could call my own in which to sleep.
My employment with Naylor Bros held little interest for me any longer and I started to coach
squash during the day when I should have been working for Naylor Bros. The time arrived
when my employers realised that our objectives were no longer compatible and we amicably
agreed to the termination of my employment. I was now self employed rather than unemployed!
David and I accepted an agency selling golf equipment principally supplied by Prime Golf
based in Cambridge and later, an agency selling sports clothing and equipment manufactured
by Goudie Squash International. One of the products they traded in was dart accessories,
which I ‘hawked around’ sports shops. Dave was in full-time employment, drawing a salary, and
my needs were small, leaving us no need to draw any form of restitution from our recently
formed company. We sold the wares of both agencies in our shop. A further agency with
Tretorn Sportswear in nearby Bury St Edmunds secured our personal sponsorship and added
to our kudos, we were on the way up. I focused my all round interest in the sport of squash
rackets leaving the staffing of the shop to David and Derek and their wives, Meg and Pauline.
My function was in the national sphere lecturing and demonstrating refereeing and coaching
techniques and being part of the international SRA body that were globally responsible for
organising the calendar of amateur and professional tournaments, in which I had become a
prominent figure.
The proprietor of the nearby Lord Nelson pub remarked to me that he was surprised at our
low prices of dart accessories, a similar selection of which he had purchased from a salesman
the previous evening. He offered the suggestion that I should supply the local pub trade to
widen our market. I saw the potential of this advice and began to investigate the possibilities. I
discovered that the prices of dart accessories sold to retailers by manufacturers was far in
excess of prices that were offered to wholesalers Whilst attending a sports trade fare I
negotiated with one or two manufacturers who were exhibiting their products to supply me their
products as a wholesaler.
The Lord is My Shepherd
King Alfred Darts was born, it was agreed with the directors of King Alfred Sports that this
enterprise was my personal business, for which I opened a new bank account, paying my bills
independently. I designed some attractive display cards and ‘bagged up’ the plastic packets of
stems and flights which were to be displayed and began selling them to the local pubs, many of
which had several darts teams. As a consolation to my partners, I supplied the pubs a home
delivery service for cups and trophies and any engraving. Many pubs ran football teams, I was
able to supply team-strips etc, our business grew phenomenally. We believed that with David
and I concentrating our efforts on the squash courts, and Derek drawing a minimal salary to
manage our fishing tackle shop, we would increase our turnover. We were determined to
become successful as quickly as possible, in order to enjoy the fruits of our labour. On our
behalf Pauline had been buying linen and designing sports dresses and skirts, which sold very
well, even before we opened the shop. Pauline, who had worked in a bank, was astute in
financial matters, but she walked out on her often violent marriage, which meant Dave and I
had to decide which of the two we could best manage without. Derek continued to work for
King Alfred Sports for a short while, but eventually, we bought out Derek’s share of the
business. We decided to employ someone with a specialised knowledge of fishing to manage
the fishing tackle department, having in mind the thought of opening a second fishing tackle
shop in Godmanchester, a community which did not have a retail outlet. Our accountant
revealed to us on auditing our annual accounts that our fishing tackle managers were stealing
from us. We sacked them and closed down the Godmanchester shop. During this period of our
expansion, we also decided to open a sports shop in Cambridge, which meant taking on a new
partner and hiring more staff. I was also appointed as squash professional to the St Neot’s
Leisure Centre, from where I now did most of my coaching.
38
Working at the business became that much more demanding of our time, but we thrived at
this new challenge in our lives. Some months after Pauline’s separation, she became my
protégé. Her dedication to daily court training, combined with road running, was rewarded on
the squash court as she soon earned her place in the county team. Because of our shared
interest in both business and the sport of squash, we became constant companions. Our
friendship blossomed and resulted in our marriage at the Tavistock Registry Office on the 8 th
August 1978. Following our marriage David and I decided we should end our partnership. It
was agreed that Pauline and I would keep the Cambridge shop and Dave and Meg would take
the St Ives and Godmanchester shops. My darts business was thriving, to help with the
increased volume of business, Pauline agreed to make the follow-up calls to the pubs and
clubs when the depleted dart bars (as they were generally referred to) needed exchanging.
Pauline’s task was to exchange the old dart bar with a new dart bar, giving a credit for the
unsold items on the old card, from the price of the new card. As the business expanded further,
I invited my daughter Leigh to join us; she had been employed in the St Ives shop prior to
David and I deciding to go our separate ways. Leigh was excited at the prospect of my
providing her with a car for her to assist Pauline in the mounting number of dart cards that
needed regular renewal. It is incredible to believe, but I was selling almost £100,000 worth of
dart accessories every year. To avoid paying tax, I hid my increasing wealth by channelling my
wealth into space invader machines which I supplied to private member clubs and free-houses,
cafés and shops, emptying the 10p coins from the machines each week, and ‘wheelbarrowing’
the coins on most days to the bank; for the takings were very heavy! Leigh worked with Pauline
and I until she decided to emigrate a year or so later. Dart sales had started to drop and have
continued to do so and Pauline and I could quite easily cope with the depleting sales. I used to
pay outworkers to bag up the flights and stems and to clean the returned tobacco stained dart
bars, but now (in 2010) I do all this myself to lighten my overheads.
Chapter 3 - Shepherded into Evangelism.
39
Following my marriage to Pauline two or three times each year we visited my Mum and my
two sisters with their respective families, who lived in the Plymouth area. My youngest sister
Jean and her husband Malcolm attended church every week with their two daughters Erica and
Sarah. They attended Bible camps each year as their main holiday. I remember Jean saying to
Pauline and me on one occasion, in a very self satisfied kind of way; ‘Oh we know that we
(meaning her immediate family), are all going to heaven, but I don’t know about you’
(meaning Pauline and I). Pauline often reflects that Jeanie’s smugness upset our complacency
so much that she practically forced us into becoming Christians! I remember the occasion of
the marriage of my other sister Pat’s daughter (my niece), Lynn, at the Tavistock Church on the
1st May 1981, that having knelt down side by side with Pauline and settled back into our pews I
whispered to her, ‘Do you realise that this is the first time we have been in church
together?’
On November 11th 1981 (Remembrance Sunday) we attended our local parish church, St
James’ Church and stayed afterwards for companionship and coffee. Pauline was pleasantly
surprised to find that the vicar, the Reverend (Rev) Ian Woodruffe had been a fellow employee
in the same factory in Histon that Pauline had worked in for some years (Chiver’s Jams). We
became friendly socially with Ian and his wife Penny, sharing meals together. The leadership
and the choir dressed in cassocks, as had the choir of the church I had been confirmed into. I
was unaware that there were other ways in which to conduct services of worship, having only
ever attended traditional Anglican churches. Apart from attending both morning and evening
worship we also supported many of the social activities and celebrations that the church
organised. We thought of ourselves as Christians but my heart had not been ‘strangely
warmed’, to quote from John Wesley, who realised some years after he had been an ordained
preacher, that God had finally softened his heart of stone.
Soon after becoming communicants, I enrolled for the first of several courses of Bible study
at the Focus Christian Institute (FCI), a biblical teaching forum which was centred at St James’,
where the Reverend (Rev) Eric Hutchinson, a respected psycho-therapist and teacher, was
honorary priest. The first series of lectures was on covenantal and church history and
missiology. On my arrival for my first lecture, I was startled to note that Eric was dressed in the
attire of the apparition I had seen in my dream in the woods as a 12 year old! I recognised him
as the apparition, received whilst still a schoolboy, almost 40 years earlier (which I wrote about
on page 8). The most inexplicable part of this supernatural event received by me was that I had
seen Eric as a much older man, at a time when he would have been quite a young man! The
apparel of hat and cape I believe were evidence to inform me that the authority and leanings of
my teacher, were Anglo Catholic in persuasion and secondly to alert me to Eric being a truly
upright man of God.
We had joined St James’ for social community involvement and not commitment to the
Church universal. We were very satisfied to have found this new outlet into becoming part of
the local community and even took part in painting the internal walls of the church and
attending hospital services. I was not challenged through the sermons at St James into
undertaking works of service for God, although I did enjoy the fellowship we experienced over
coffee after the service, which was more memorable than the sermons. I was not maturing; my
heart and my mind were not stirred into being better equipped for discipleship into the
community. We had become indoctrinated into standing as a mark of respect as the organ
burst into sound, stifling all conversations as the choir and leaders dressed in their refinery
The Lord is My Shepherd
entered or departed the service in procession singing. Every week during the service the choir
entertained us with their rendition of whatever hymn they had rehearsed the previous week. I
accept they were more melodious than the often discordant voices of the congregation, but I
believed that God was better pleased to accept the congregation’s unrehearsed worship. I was
aware that Pauline and I were round pegs in square holes, and I was troubled by the variation
of churchmanship and local community service available to Christians seeking to be involved in
evangelism. St James Church services were too much like the familiar cathedral services
recorded on TV, all tradition and pomposity; we decided we needed to broaden our experience
of various expressions of church worship and community living.
40
My thoughts became truly focussed on church practices, on hearing that Billy Graham in
June 1984 was to hold a series of encounter meetings known as Mission England, to attract
new converts into Christianity. The summer campaign was to be staged around the country in
six football stadiums over the 12 week period at a cost of UK £1.5m Carrow Road, Portman
Road, Roker Park, Anfield, Villa Park, Ashton Gate. Some 60% of the funds were donated
within the first three weeks of circulating the intended proposal to all churches of every
denomination. One million people attended the six venues, and 100,000 people responded to
Billy's message.
All churches in East Anglia were informed by circular letter of the forthcoming events, and
asked to pray for its success at the Norwich and Ipswich football stadiums and financial
support. 850 churches were involved, raising the £175,000 cost and providing 4,500 volunteers
including 1,456 counselors and a 1,745-strong choir plus administrators, youth leaders and
stewards. I expect these figures were pretty much the same at all six venues. Converts were
guided to counsellors that attended one of the supporting churches supplying counselors. The
St James vicar didn’t ever refer to this mission and the congregation never prayed for its
success. Oh our church was far from being alone in their disinterest; at least the two stadiums
were not Cambridgeshire, which might have been a reason for the disinterest shown. In both
Norfolk and Suffolk other churches by their lack of involvement also expressed disinterest in
supporting the mission. It is very easy to hide one’s anonymity.
Both Pauline and I were keen to be involved in the crusade. St Andrew’s Street Baptist
Church placed a notice in the local newspaper that they would host a promotion of the mission
in their church, for those members of churches who wanted to be part of the mission, but
whose home churches were not supporting the mission. We attended all the Cambridge
meetings, Pauline became part of the mass choir, and I was trained as a counsellor.
Counsellors were well briefed over many months of pre-event training. We commenced our
training meetings with prayer and worship, during which people prayed extemporaneously from
within the assembly and in exultation raised their arms and their voices in their joy of singing
praise choruses to God. These times of worship were very different from that with which we
were familiar, and were uplifting to both of us. Counsellors were encouraged to learn selected
Bible verses by heart to share with potential converts. Prior to the meetings at Norwich City FC
and Ipswich Town FC, all counsellors attended a half day dress rehearsal at each venue. The
organising committee were insistent that all counsellors arose from their seats as soon as ‘the
appeal’ was given and moved onto the football pitch, as providing ‘Dutch courage’ to the nonChristians responding to the appeal. Great attention was given to detail, and meticulous
planning on how to handle unusual situations that might occur were just as thorough as many
of the military operations I had taken part in as a serviceman.
Pub Evangelism
41
I heard of many churches proposing to hire coaches to the venues for their congregations,
the coach trip being advertised as an evening out, and an opportunity to take along unsaved
friends and family. Other Christians took their families and friends, (who they may have thought
of as unsaved) by car. I was eager to obey God’s will and to experience His blessings. Many of
those attending had no church affiliation, and had read of the forthcoming events through the
secular press and had decided to attend partly in order to be entertained by ‘a Billy Graham
production’, whilst others responded to an invitation by a neighbour or work colleague. The
interest of many was in the speaker, rather than the message of the Cross. I had read so much
of Billy Graham and of his successful world-wide ministry, that, in my naïveté, I fondly
supposed that many non-Christians would flock to hear him, and would be overcome with
remorse over their own sin and turn to Jesus through this mission. I did transport two ladies on
the first evening of the mission for the 1½ journey to Norwich, neither of whom were particularly
interested in personal salvation, or would have fitted church attendance into their busy
schedules. On each occasion I heard Billy preach, he spoke powerfully yet simply and well. We
had tried unsuccessfully to fill our car, by inviting some of our friends, who needed to hear the
gospel. One by one, as the day of the meetings drew closer; our friends who had earlier said
they would attend found excuses for their inability to attend on the day, which greatly frustrated
me. I heard later that at the Norwich venue from June 9th-12th, 63,000 people attended overall
and 3,700 made commitments. I read later of the statistics given for the Bristol meeting, 2,352
went forward to receive Christ on the first day of the mission. On the next day 2,172 went
forward, the following day 2,642 accepted Christ. The figures were fed into a computer and
analysed by the strategists. The percentage commitments of total attendance were 8.3%
(percent). Any percentage over 5% is considered exciting by the organisers. Mission England’s
statistics reveal that 11% of those who went forward at the appeal were still attending church
one year later.
I decided to hire a 52-seater coach for my final evening of involvement, which I advertised
in the local newspaper as having seats freely available to any Christian requiring wishing to
attend the Billy Graham crusade meeting, providing they brought a non-church attendee with
them. The coach would leave from outside St James Church, which is immediately opposite
Queen Edith’s Chapel, an independent Brethren Church. My next door neighbour was a
deacon of Queen Edith’s Chapel, to whom I extended my offer personally for his inclusion. He
had previously warmly thanked a member of St James’ PCC, for the invitation extended
through The Cambridge News, and was taken aback by a stiffly retorted reply that places
could only be offered if St James’ members did not require all the seats. Although pressed by
this PCC member to agree with his judgement, I disagreed and said that seats would be
available on a first come first served basis, and the same rules applied to our church, that is
booking a seat meant taking a non-church guest. On the first night of the Ipswich Town FC
meeting, I asked a non-Christian friend to be my chauffer as my car was being serviced. His
whole family travelled with us, but unfortunately did not encounter the Lord, at least not at that
time. I have heard that non-believers sometimes experience eight separate encounters with the
godhead through His disciples, before they actually receive spiritual transmission to their heart
of encounters which may have occurred over many years. The brain and the heart in the body
are a short distance from each other, but the journey may take a lifetime!
My insistence on a first come first accepted basis was justified as the coach was full, with
people (mostly members of the two churches and their friends. I later learned of some who
travelled in the coach made a commitment to Christ, one of who was the wife of Ben Hicks,
who later became a friend of mine. On returning home she told Ben that she was now
The Lord is My Shepherd
committed to serving Christ. Ben was bemused but decided to attend the next evening in
Ipswich to judge what his wife had heard for himself; he also made a commitment! I was told
years later by a friend Ruth who attended Queen Edith’s Chapel, and with whom I prayed
weekly for Israel’s restoration, that she had attended a funeral the previous day of an elderly
lady who had become a convert following her travelling on ‘my’ coach to the Ipswich mission,
after which she became a disciple from Ruth’s church. I was overjoyed in hearing that my
‘silent evangelism’ paid dividends. Over the years since my experiences of that mission, I have
offered prayers and sent donations or monthly tax-deductible contributions to evangelists
conducting crusades or regular missionary work for God in nations where I shall never be
invited to preach, although I have been blessed through giving my personal testimony at many
churches, house groups, and FGBFMI dinners in many nations over many years.
42
Pauline and I travelled to Norwich by car each day we were involved. What had apparently
been a slick operation was nowhere near good enough on ‘follow-up’. Another problem of
discipleship was that generous hearted churches which financially supported the mission often
didn’t hold weekly Bible study or have house-groups to welcome and nurture the converts who
were directed to their churches. In exasperation, at the disinterest of my own church, in the
problems of some the16-18 year old youths from my own church went forward at the appeal,
filling in counselling cards, which through someone’s inefficiency were never referred to any
Cambridge church. Pauline and I held a weekly time of Bible study and fellowship in our home,
for the youth, but we were very much lacking in maturity, and some of them were dissatisfied
with the spiritual life exhibited through our church members, for many of our youth had
attended Bible Camps, at which their hearts had been quickened. I was satisfied, that I had
used initiative and resourcefulness as a small cog in a giant wheel to accomplish something for
God.
Over our training period we had meetings in churches supportive of the mission, where we
met old friends who we had not known to be Christians. There was an open invitation to attend
a variety of churches in Cambridge and beyond. It was here we first heard of Ely Christian
Fellowship and that they often invited visiting preachers to conduct some mid-week meetings.
Having attended such meetings we became regular attendees, often transporting others in our
car to hear a variety of fine preachers who spoke clearly on the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit
and offered prayers for healing and counselling for the confused. It was here that I heard of the
Foxton Christian Fellowship, whose pastors Mike and Pauline Young were emphasising the
need for Jews to make aliyah to Israel in these last rebellious of days, totally rejecting
replacement theology
One of my squash opponents was Nick Blythe, a committed Christian (from a Brethren
background), who did volunteer work for the Gideon Bible Society, and with his wife Elaine
were a sought after choral duo at Christian concerts and conferences. I shared with Nick my
discomfiture at the style of service at St James and the freedom we had experienced
elsewhere. Nick and Elaine took it upon themselves to invite us to hear guest speakers at
meetings in some Baptist and Brethren churches outside the Cambridge city environs, in our
search for a permanent new home church in which we would be fulfilled, yet challenged. Nick
was offered the opportunity to plant a new church with another couple; they encouraged us to
worship with them in Saffron Walden. We were torn between the fellowship at St James without
any spiritual leadership displayed and a more spiritually uplifting form of worship with an
assembly gathering almost 20 miles away from our home. I was aware that our once a week
attendance at a service of worship would have no impact on our neighbours or the community
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in which we lived. Since my tussle for guidance, I have been able to advise others who have
said that they receive no spiritual fulfilment from their attendance at one church or another. I
advise them that it is what one contributes to the church body that produces new life. It is not
possible to continue receiving spiritual blessings without distributing those blessings received
to others.
The marriage of our vicar Ian to Penny’s came to an end and they separated. They had two
boys aged about ten; the children continued to live with Ian. I found the break-up of a clergy
family difficult to witness at first hand. It seemed to me that Christians should behave differently
from those ‘in the world’; although over the years I had read in the newspapers of irresponsible
worldly behaviour of some clergymen. The longer I was a member of St James, the more I
became aware of the frailties of other congregants, as many sought our advice. The
congregation dwindled noticeably during the remaining four years of our attendance at St
James’. We continued to attend St James out of friendship towards the fellowship rather than
any allegiance to the denomination or this particular church. The congregation was more
middle aged and middle class, than the average congregation that I have since attended, with
many committed Christians among them. Having experienced a freer style of worship,
fellowship and teaching, through attending services of other denominations, we decided we
wanted to be where renewal was taking place and people gave testimony to being healed, or
having other prayers answered. The body of believers’ needs meat not milk in order to develop
spiritual muscles, and to share their faith, our congregation was not given any teaching on the
gifts of the spirit, presumably because it was considered that such teaching was for the times of
Christ’s apostles only.
Pauline and I were fortunate that during this period of searching we heard of a monthly
celebration evenings held at Homerton College, that the Covenant Ministries International
(CMI) part of the Restoration House Church movement, were conducting in preparation of
planting a church in Cambridge. The congregation was an eclectic gathering of believers in
Christ from all church backgrounds many of which sought less formality and a greater use of
spiritual giftings, without explicitly dominating the service. Bryn Jones (now deceased) was the
charismatic leader of this group of independent churches. It was at one of the mid-week
meetings that we were given a leaflet on a forthcoming bible camp celebration, at which we
knew we would learn more about the organisation supporting these recently introduced monthly
celebrations in Cambridge.
We became even more unsettled with the appointment of an unmarried female curate.
Whenever she led the prayers or read from the Bible, she inevitably altered the liturgy to
include ‘and sisters’ or ‘and women’. It seemed she thought it unbiblical that females were
included as part of the brethren and not given a separate identity, which was extremely
distracting. I registered my protest over the changed wording introduced into Bible passages to
a member of the Parish Church Council (PCC). My objection was addressed at the monthly
council meeting, which resulted in Ian forbidding the curate to speak any words that were not
part of the liturgy. I understood she replied that henceforth she would not preach or deliver
prayers in St James, until this order was rescinded.
Pauline and I travelled to the Dales Bible Week held in Bradford, in both 1983 and 1984 as
part of the contingent from what later developed into the Cambridge Community Church (or
more easily remembered and affectionately spoken of colloquially as ‘the 3C’s). At the bible
camp (where we camped out in tents and not dormitories), we enjoyed the exuberant worship
The Lord is My Shepherd
of these charismatic believers, with whom we readily identified. It was a revelation for us to
watch people worshipping joyfully, hands raised in adoration, whilst some left their seats to
dance in the aisles with uninhibited freedom and exuberance. The dancers hopped or bounced
from one foot to the other, with hands raised, reminiscent of dancers of a Scottish Reel. Some
of the more graceful amongst worshippers pirouetted like ballet dancers in the aisles or on the
platform as the band rather than an organist led the congregation; whilst acetates and an overhead projector replaced reading from a hymn book, which didn’t allow for watching fellow
congregants expressing themselves in their grateful adoration, a great deal different from my
earlier experiences. It took quite a time for Pauline and I to overcome our inhibitions and
express our worship spontaneously. No longer would I accept that the sound of a well
orchestrated choir offered to God, was any more acceptable to Him than my own unmelodious
but sincere demonstration of praise.
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During prayer times at the Dales some people spoke in foreign languages or spiritual
tongues, whilst others interpreted. The message from God to the congregation was not always
through the speaker on the platform, but often from a member of the congregation! Many
worshippers interceded in their native languages. The preachers were not overtly evangelistic,
nor were they speaking out against the traditional denominations. The teaching was biblical
and constituted the preached word. The platform speakers called on the Holy Spirit to manifest
in His power and mercy by the working of miracles. At altar calls for salvation or healing, we
were amazed to witness how many went forward in response to words of knowledge in
anticipation of a miraculous demonstration of Holy Spirit power. We witnessed some healings
and the casting out of demons, not a feature in our previous experiences of church assemblies!
More strangely (at the 1982 celebration), I was awakened from my sleep each night, by a choir
of angels. This phenomenon was confirmed by others on the camp, and from residents nearby,
who complained to the police of unreasonably loud late night celebrations. The investigating
police, found the camp in darkness and silent, but many other campers also heard the singing,
that I had been privileged to hear. This incident was reported in the national newspapers! On
our return from the first Bible camp, I attended the 3C’s midweek Bible study classes, and was
one of a number who attended what became a newly planted church, which first met at the
Eden School of Dance; those attending had to take their own chairs along to sit on! For some
reason best known to Pauline she chose not to accompany me.
Prior to becoming Christians I had hoped the restructuring of our business would prove
successful, but I could not foreseen the long recession that started soon after our conversion,
nor the fact that the rent of the shop would increase 100% every three years. Having traded
from our Downing Street shop for nine years, we now faced the prospect of an increase in rent
to £14,000 per annum, which was about the amount of money our shops were losing each year
(about £250 per week). I had previously decided to purchase the freehold of a second shop in
Cambridge, to offset the spiralling rent charges, but the enterprise proved to be a commercial
failure. Our new shop venture produced very little money, because it was not in the centre of
the city, where our main trade was with university students as our principal customers. It was
only our regular clientele who lived on the north or east side of the city, who found our new
location more convenient to use. I had believed that as the new shop was immediately opposite
the entrance to Cambridge City FC, we would attract a wider clientele, but I was wrong! Sports
shop owners seek quality advice from sportsmen who are customers who do not easily change
their allegiance to suppliers. As is usual in most cities, there were too many retailers for all the
sports shops in the city to remain profitable. It had been my plan to move the stock to our
freehold shop and sell the lease of our rented shop to another sport’s retailer, in order to sell an
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ambiguous ‘good will’ element, but we had no takers. My darts and space machine business
were highly profitable, which resulted in my decision to buy the freehold of yet another building
in which to build a health club and a restaurant. At the time of this new venture there had been
no similar enterprise in Cambridge. It was only following our contractor’s investigations that it
was found that our building had no foundations beneath any of the load bearing walls! This
discovery cost us a further £16,000 to correct and the re-construction of the building was
delayed several weeks, whilst substantial foundations were laid in place.
My tax affairs were being questioned, for in our halcyon days we had built a large two
storied extension on to our home, which included a second kitchen and a fourth bedroom, in
order to secure a larger mortgage, which I successfully arranged. It was following this period
that I had my encounter with Jesus! I awoke one morning during Lent 1983, contemplating
what answer I should give to the Revenue Authorities. I knew I had the ability to explain away
the questions, but my conscience had been troubling me for some time. I recalled that my
father had been called into the tax inspector’s office in the mid 1950’s to explain his financial
affairs and he had talked his way out of trouble; I was confident that I could do the same but
today was different; I just did not want to tell another lie, despite the consequences. I hated the
deceitful character I had become. I speculated whether one’s life was all mapped out, with
points being awarded or deducted by some ‘ethereal being’ or ‘imperial court’ for performance.
My accountant would always explain our previous year’s financial results by turning to the profit
and loss page of the annual accounts. I mused that this supernatural being would not judge the
commendable bottom line figures presented, but rather the methods used to achieve the
results; before passing a final judgement of worth. We were financially well established, as we
owned two sports shops and a health club in the centre of Cambridge. We supplied sporting
equipment as wholesalers and installed our own gaming machines to an extremely diverse
market. I was currently negotiating with the Cambridge City Council to open the first
amusement arcade in the city. Six years into my second marriage we were settled in an
imposing house, which we had furnished with expensive items. We had enough money to
indulge in regular holidays abroad because I had not declared my true taxable income. I was
thought of in the local community as a successful business man and was well on the way to
realising my ambition of becoming a millionaire at 50 years of age. As an employee I had
deceived my family and cheated my former employer. Latterly as an employer, I was cheating
both customers and the tax authorities. Even at 49 years of age I was physically fit, having
three times won the veterans title of the Cambridgeshire Squash Championship. I was a minor
celebrity locally in the sport of squash rackets, having played in representative teams for both
Cambridgeshire and England and had been elected as the founder chairman of the
Cambridgeshire Squash Rackets Association (SRA). I coached widely, in England and abroad,
both individuals and teams. Pauline and I also ran about 50 miles in training every week,
entering several half marathons over a number of years. Superficially I may have appeared on
the outside to have everything going for me, a good reputation, a fit and healthy body, an
attractive younger wife who loved me, plenty of money, but inside I was a mess. I reviewed my
own life; married at the age of 21; irreconcilably separated and divorced at 43, leaving three
teenage children aged 19, 17 and 15 years respectively for my former wife to provide a home
for single handedly. Perhaps all the years of heavy drinking, whilst serving nine years in the
RAF, combined with ten years as a member of the Round Table and nine years as a
Freemason had dulled my sense of accountability. All that I held as desirable and respectable
had turned to ashes. I realised that I was morally and spiritually bankrupt!
The Lord is My Shepherd
My conscience had been persistently arrested and returned to disquieting memories of the
selfish motives behind my manipulation of circumstances to my personal advantage in earlier
days. Each one of my friends and relatives, from whom I had taken advantage of, was paraded
in front of my mind’s eye. It was as if I was looking through a scrapbook cataloguing my selfish
deeds. This total recall had to be a supernatural invasion of my mind. One hears of people
rescued from drowning, whose whole lifetime flashed before their mind’s eye in an instant, my
experience was similar to that. I was not a habitual or hardened criminal, I had what I believed
to have been a healthy sex drive and a career plan which although not altruistic was not
specifically harmful or vindictive to humanity. My recent involvement with Christianity was
prompting my conscience to spiritually acknowledge my sin and need of repentance, but also
to publicly admit to my deception and make a clean breast of my embezzlement despite the
risk of imprisonment. I had previously taken solace in the thought that although I was not a
‘paragon of virtue’, I was not inherently evil. Like all pantheists I thought that there was a little
bit of God in me, a little bit of pride and arrogance and a good deal of the milk of human
kindness. Any deficiency in my character was no worse than that of any other human being.
Surely God was responsible for my every thought, good or bad, and for my behaviour patterns.
I absolved my guilty conscience by passing blame for every deficiency in my character as
being God’s responsibility. I had inherited original sin from Adam and the genes of the
characteristics of my parents; therefore I was blameless and like Pilate could wash my hands
of any kind of inherited or accumulated sin. I knew of the historical Jesus ‘objectively’ but not
as an eternal divine Being, and had seen no reason to emulate Jesus who was no hero of
mine. I had read of people unexpectedly dying having a complete recall of all the people that
they had sinned against. I had previously been undeniably caught in a radar trap and received
an unemotional summons, demanding payment or accepting a term of imprisonment, with no
possibility of claiming extenuating circumstances. I realised that my rebellious unrighteousness
before God would have to be freely admitted to on judgement day; all the exposure of my sins
were captured on camera, in the diary of my life, there could be no denial, in fact I would be the
prime witness against myself now freely admitting my sinful past. What a revelation!! Suddenly
I experienced a totally new sensation, a dull ringing in my ears deadening all extraneous noises
accompanied by a ‘heaviness of presence’ imposed upon every inch of my body. This
symptomatic weightiness impressed upon me that I was being spoken to from within my
psyche, an authoritative voice impressed itself onto my ears:“Alf Droy I know every thought you have ever had and I am aware of all your
deeds. You believe that with your quick wits and your silver tongue you can ease
your entry into eternal life by charm. You have never dedicated your life to
following Me as Lord of your life. Each time you have faced a crisis you have
resolved to change your conduct, turning to another chapter or a new page in the
Book of Life. If you surrender your life over to Me and repent of your sinfulness
and accept My forgiveness offered by grace and not performance and declare your
dishonesty publicly and make restitution, I will grant you a place in heaven beside
Me, your Lord, Jesus Christ. “
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I am nobody’s fool and can recognise a good deal when I am offered one. I was amazed at
having been spoken to by Jesus Christ, but I was confident that if I was obedient my salvation
was secure. I realised that my life was an open book to a Holy God and that He knew the
reason behind every action I had ever taken, or not taken. I now knew Jesus ‘subjectively’; He
is alive today and had died in atonement for my sins to pay the price for my salvation. I
repented of my sin-filled life resolving whenever possible to follow and emulate Christ’s
ministry, by telling others of my understanding of Biblical truth and the urgency of the need to
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repent and believe. Walking away from a failed marriage had not solved any of my problems; I
had only washed my hands of the responsibility for failure. But this was how I had chosen to
change my life. I was morally and spiritually responsible for my own behaviour to an omniscient
God. I leaped from my bed determined to respond to Jesus’ possible final offer. Pauline calmly
accepted my decision to confess the embezzlement of taxable income to the tax authorities.
I hurriedly dressed and breakfasted and ignoring the protocol of making an appointment, I
arrived without having made an appointment at the Cambridge offices of the Inland Revenue
and asked to speak with the Chief Inspector of Taxes, who was investigating my tax returns for
year ending April 1982. I had obtained a large mortgage on our house, having increased its
value by building an extension and paying for the cost out of undisclosed profits that I had
embezzled from my various companies. Mr Heap asked what he could do for me; my reply was
that I had come to reveal what I could do for him!! I handed over the previously undisclosed
bank statements from a hitherto secret bank account into which I had placed deposits from the
various businesses that I wholly owned and had embezzled from. Mr Heap was nonplussed,
saying that the fraud was outside of his jurisdiction, and that it would have to be investigated by
H.M Fraud Squad. I asked of him ‘What happens now?’ I had fully expected him to call for a
policeman, who would put me in hand-cuffs and lead me to a prison cell. Strangely I felt that I
had already been acquitted. Later that day whilst explaining my actions and wondering over the
consequences, Pauline felt drawn to read 1 Timothy Ch 1:19 to me ‘keep your faith and a
clear conscience. Some men have not listened to their conscience and have made a ruin
of their faith’.
That very night I received the first of an incredible experience of eight-visual cameos
(similar to Zechariah’s experience). I had heard of spiritual manifestations similar to those I
have described being called ‘neuro theology’ suggesting that the supernatural experiences are
often catalogued as experiences suffered as an illness affecting the brain. The psychic
experience can apparently affect anyone of any or no faith; all I can say is that ever since my
meeting with Christ I have enjoyed a peace that surpasses understanding. Later that day I
wrote a letter to the Worshipful Master of the Masonic Lodge of which I was a member,
informing him that I had become a ‘born again’ believer and no longer wanted to be associated
with Freemasonry. At that time I was unaware that if I had progressed through to the 33 rd
degree as a Freemason, I would then have been calling on the name of Satan (Lucifer) for my
guidance, and cursing the name of Jesus! The very night of my confession, I began to receive
an incredible series of visions and dreams with revelation of their meanings. Each night I was
taken through the earlier revelations in successive order. The night following my committing my
life to following Jesus, whilst sleeping, in my dream it was as if I was watching a video:-I saw a
gigantic representation of Jesus’ naked body submerged to the waist, arms outstretched
and placed on opposite banks of the River of Life reminding me of His crucifixion. This
river represented God’s main artery flowing through every galaxy and back to God’s
heart. The temperature and the flow of this 'divine' river were controlled by Christ’s
contact with it. I watched a cameo of a continuous column of Jews in family groups and
some who were alone or in pairs walking across this river (from death to life) along
Christ’s outstretched arms. An unseen angel advised me that God was the living temple from
which the River of Life flowed, and I was reminded of the passage in Ezekiel Ch 47:12. Once
the ‘spirit Being’ was satisfied that I understood all that the Messiah was revealing to me the
luminescence faded and I resumed my usual sleep pattern.
The Lord is My Shepherd
The following morning whilst walking through from the lounge into the kitchen I received a
vision in the form of a trance: A dead leaf fluttered to the ground in front of my eyes, startling
me, causing me to blink and step backwards. The leaf in this cameo was blown by a wind
skittering across the floor into a stream slowly sinking to the riverbed where I was told it would
finally decompose, and that this autumn leaf represented a follower of Christ who had died and
become part of the River of Life which flowed from the sanctuary of the Temple of God. I
became aware that my whole being, spirit, mind and body had been touched and changed by
God’s supernatural blessings. I knew that I had been born again (reborn). I wondered if I would
have to answer to a heavenly court for the talents given to me that I had wastefully
squandered. I thought of the servant in the parable of Matthew Ch 25, who was recognised by
his master as being both wicked and fearful, surely I was even more so? Now that I have been
‘born-again’ I realise that the age of Planet Earth, or the age of the universe is only a distraction
from the main event, which is the incarnate birth, violent death and supernatural resurrection of
God into heavenly eternity, to provide the only way to save sin-soaked mankind from its SIN. I
am no longer distracted by periphery arguments, for the Holy Spirit of God is living within me
and has freed me trying to reason through logic the substance of an eternal salvation, that can
only be grasped by faith, and not through personal earthly achievements. All who turn to Christ
in faith have to lay aside the baggage of their secular education and upbringing.
48
During the following night I was reminded of the two earlier revelations before my attention
was drawn to a mature cedar tree growing on the bank of the river. I was told that the
resplendent tree represented the empire of King Nebuchadnezzar the archetype of all
emperors throughout history, whom Daniel called ‘the king of kings’ who sometime in the future
would prostrate himself before the Lord of Kings. I heard an authoritative voice ring out:
“Saw down the tree and lop off all the branches. Bind the stump with bands of
iron and bronze.” Stripped of its splendour, the lopped cedar tree bridged the
River of Life. I watched as a succession of Gentiles singularly and in families who
had accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour, crossed over the river, by way of the
lopped tree, from death to life. An unseen angel told me the successive dreams
were to clarify that ‘first the Jew and then the Gentile’ had made this journey. My
attention was then drawn to the stump of the tree with its roots firmly fixed in the
ground. I became aware of a cross-shaped pattern at the centre of the stump that
was imposed over the inner tree-rings indicating that this tree was sacred. I was
told that later the stump produced a shoot that became the ‘root of Jesse’ the
Holy Seed, written of in Isaiah Ch 6:13-and Ch 11:1: “There shall come forth a
shoot from the stump of Jesse.” A metal band that had been tightened around
the circumference of the tree-stump seemingly to prevent fraying but it spiritually
signified that the Roman Empire was a boa constrictor and not a protective
sleeve to prevent damage to this holy tree, squeezing the life blood out of the
chosen people, in an attempt to suffocate opposition to the control of
Catholicism throughout the Gentile nations, denying any other form of
Christianity could result in redemption. Written in numerals at the circumference
of the tree-trunk were the figures 2,0,0,0 (later it was revealed to me that this year
specifically would complete the first of three seven-year periods which I would come to
recognise as the Great Tribulation, each one would start, at the ending of the earlier
seven-year period, later still it was revealed to me that this tree trunk was the highway
to salvation). “What do you see Alf?” asked the unseen angel who had visited me
the previous night. Once this angel was satisfied that I had understood the
revelation, the vision continued: The metal bands were struck with the back of a
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long-handled mallet. The bands coalesced becoming an iron cooking-pot, whilst
the tree-rings shimmered into eddying ripples of sluggishly circling liquid, a
viscous mixture of blood and noxious fluids. Gaseous, sulphuric bubbles
coloured predominantly yellow, silver and black, rose to the surface. I was told
that the liquid in the pot represented the nations of the world throughout which
the Jews had been dispersed. The pot was once again struck, to inform me that
the vista was about to change. The sun came from behind a cloud shining
brightly on the nauseating concoction, suffusing the dully-coloured contents into
bright metallic colours of silver, gold and ruby-red hues. The sluggishly
circulating liquid at the outer edge of the cooking-pot now increased in speed,
whilst the revolutions of the liquid at the centre became too fast for my eye to
register, producing an effect similar to that of a whirlpool or vortex. The
thickening mixture solidified, altering in nature, transforming itself into a
priceless chalice, a communion cup not formed by human hands. In reverential
silence I watched the cupped hands of Jesus Christ lifting the chalice and placing
it onto a glass-topped table. I was told that the length of the base and stem of this
chalice was two-thirds of the total length, representing the 4,000-years of Biblical
history from the fall of Adam in the Garden of Eden to the vicarious death of
Christ, encompassing every event of world history. The bowl of the chalice
represented one-third of the span of c2,000 years from the Cross of Christ until
His Second Coming. The gong sounded once more and the luminescence faded
away. Whilst still experiencing this dream I received this prophecy: “Fear not that
you (the believers) have not completed the commission I gave you as an
undertaking. The harvest is even now being gathered in. Very soon we will be
drinking the new wine in heaven together.”
This series of revelatory dreams and trances grew to a crescendo on the fourth night of
revelations:
I was transported to the platform of a railway station, where the last train of the
day was building up steam prior to departing. I was then placed so close to the
platform clock that it filled my whole vision. The hands of the clock were pointing
to one minute to midnight confirming that the timing is not only immediate but had
been decided at the beginning of time. A disembodied hand of God tore the clock
from its fixings (in the same manner that I might pluck a petal from a flowering
rose) and threw it under my feet (hence the picture on the front cover of this book). My
understanding (at that time) was that the events and signs of the end times of
history were to be revealed to me at the appropriate time.
These supernatural experiences are unique and inviolate, and I was humbled on realising
that God, a guardian of irrevocable truthfulness and justice, had bequeath to me (previously a
former low-life rebellious sinner that emerged from a chrysalis into a proselyte), supernatural
gifts to be shared with the final generation (dispensation), of which I was part? 4 The described
In my revelatory dreams I have been blessed with an ability to see beyond the horizon, around corners
and I am able walk through closed doors or other material confines such as rock faces. Whilst asleep I
am also able to be translated by thought transference. I repeat that these supernatural events take place
in my dreams! Such occurrence as these are not part of what pagan humankind accepts as ‘natural’ or
‘real’ life but they are a solid (if spiritual) reality, the manifestation of which unredeemed mankind has not
been able to explain. Some scientists believe in a sixth sense that animals share with (unsophisticated)
humans, a precognitive flash of insight into danger. These paranormal or esoteric manifestations happen
4
The Lord is My Shepherd
cameos could best be likened to observing the formation of history from opposite ends of a
telescope. The detail of the object focused upon does not vary but the distance from where I
observe the object or cameo does alter the received image. 5 As I continued to meditate on this
series of visions I heard a voice commanding me to get out of bed and record the following
prophecy:“I am the Lord your God, there are no other gods than Me. I am returning soon
to claim My inheritance, My redeemed bride. I will strengthen and embolden you
in order that you will be better equipped to share the revelations given to you as
your understanding increases. Over a period of time I am going to reveal to you
My timing of events on this fallen world, prior to My returning to rule and to
reign with My Church, My body and My Bride. But prior to this time you will
resolutely share with all who will listen, the details of the restoration, renewal
and redemption of My creation. Truth can only be seen through the eyes of faith
and My disciples will know that I have sent you. As the moon reflects the light
of the sun so you will reflect My glory. I am the light of the world and as your
own soul throbs and glows incandescently, receiving life, faith and illumination,
you will receive more fruit from the tree of knowledge and you will also eat from
the tree of life. You will receive more of My spirit and My peace as you die to
self to live for Me. You are to pray through each day that your thoughts and
your heart’s desires might mirror My own desires, in order that your heart and
mind might reflect My love for mankind. The more you pray and offer thanks
and praises to Me and the more you meditate on My word, the more abundantly
will you receive My Holy Spirit and the greater will be your understanding. I will
cause you to reign in life now, despite the evidence of degradation that is ever
presented to you by the media and which greatly concerns your heart, through
the sufferings of others. The combined lights of all believers will glow as living
stones reflecting the image of My glory, in order that on My return My disciples
will see Me through undimmed eyes. It is at this time that the cornerstone who
is the Son of Man will be revealed to all those who have been entrusted to Him.
The unholy will be blinded in their helplessness bound by their own
philosophies and judged by their own iniquities. For centuries the heart filled
with faith knew that the foundation stone of the Church was in place. The
cornerstone of My Church has been covered by deceit and hypocrisy but the
deception is washed away through the blood of the suffering Church that has
continually flowed through the centuries and is incalculably precious in its
sacrificial worth in My sight. The response of the self-appointed and the nonanointed, in seeking to control areas of Christian activity has been unspiritual
50
often enough for me to believe that they are part of a multi-dimensional world of which mankind knows
little. Explanations need revelation from the Holy Spirit of God of such ‘supernatural manifestations’. John
Ch 20:26 states that in order to spend time with His disciples Jesus in His resurrected body either walked
through material walls, or dematerialised and having gone through earthly barriers materialised again.
Verse 30 vaguely refers to other supernatural happenings during this resurrection period but offers no
explanation, possibly because the supernatural events surrounding Jesus’ ministry would sound too
fanciful to be believed! In Mark Ch 12:34 Jesus told this teacher of the law that he was not far from the
Kingdom of God. He may have been speaking of a perception of a space/time dimension and not of some
future time, which was not too far from the day in which He spoke.
C
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and such leaders have not been walking in the ministry that I gifted and called
them into. Many people, who have known Me will be persuaded by the
temptations of the evil one and will fall from grace. In the times of persecution
that lie ahead, many people will find My commands too difficult to follow and
desert Me. Many who believe that I will honour them for their service will come
to realise that they have been deceived and have never fully understood the
purposes of My life of servitude on Earth. Satan believes that because depravity
and lawlessness increases in intensity, seemingly strengthening his claim as
counterfeit ruler of this world, that the Son of Man will not return. But I am not a
created being who compromises or who changes his mind. I have known the
end from the beginning for I am the Alpha and the Omega. Hold firm to your
faith, take counsel and comfort from Me and realise My will for you is ordained
to produce a more fruitful life; a peaceful life of humility and faithful obedience
to My commands. I will honour many others of My disciples who have thought
of themselves humbly as unworthy. Despite the heartache I have firmly
resolved to withdraw restraint of the evil that will rule the world prior to My
return, that will result in My judgement which will just as surely follow. Indeed I
will return to reign during the lifetime of the generation in which you are living.
Be ever watchful, for a political leader will arise from amongst the nations, who
will enter into a pact with a religious leader, and the world will wonder at the
union. The liaison of wealth and power is not of Me but of Satan who has
capitalised on the greed of man in order to besmirch legitimate trading through
unredeemed capitalism. Says the Lord your God.”
I realised that God was allocating me an undeserved, but responsible position, similar to that
which had been given to the prophets of old. I had experienced a spiritual manifestation not
unlike the experience recorded in Zechariah Ch 1:7-Ch 6:8). Notwithstanding that Zechariah
had apparently received his visions all during one night. I had been divinely appointed to
undertake a task for which I would be equipped, commissioned by Jesus Christ Himself! I was
so excited but knew that the task was grace given and had nothing to do with any of my
achievements that I may have thought had any merit.
On the following Sunday, whilst I was on my morning jog, I received seven signs:
1 The reading of Job Ch 13:28, during my Bible study time :-Man rots away like a garment
eaten by moths, though God slays me yet will I hope in His salvation . (paraphrased)
2 The wedding of the Lamb of God, with blossom cascading around my feet, as I ran under
trees festooned with falling blossom.
3 I picked up a 5p piece, which was lying on the pavement, showing me that I was on the right
path.
4 and yet a second 5p piece a few yards further along. I received a ‘word of knowledge’, that
the first coin had been tail uppermost and the second, head uppermost. I knew that what had
previously been concealed from my spiritual sight would soon be revealed to me. I was to
understand that the total value of the coins was not as important as their symbolism. The value
of the coins had depreciated (due to inflation) but their future value depended on how these
‘talents’ were used. The Church was represented by the coins. I was told to reflect on the life of
the Church through the ages, and not to be intimidated or influenced by any stream of
churchmanship. I was now the head, whereas formerly I had been the tail; I was a watchman
and had been appointed by God.
5 A level crossing barrier barred my progress and I heard a voice suggesting to me that I
would be safe from harm if I dodged through it. As I was considering this possibility, a train
The Lord is My Shepherd
flashed through. I hadn’t heard its approach. If I had foolishly walked through the barrier, I
would have been killed.
6 I jogged passed a field, where I heard unseen pigs squealing from a pigsty. I heard a voice
that said that I would be protected from Satan, as I steadfastly persevered into maturity.
7 As I passed the next field, a white horse trotted towards me. I understood it to be the horse
of Revelation Ch 19 and I was aware of ever present evil close by (in the previously passed
field had been a pig-sty with squealing pigs and an accompanying smell) and the need for
constant vigilance and spiritual discernment.
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I recorded and delivered copies of the spiritual revelations received to several Cambridge
Church leaders with whom I enjoyed close spiritual relationships. Four were Anglican ministers,
one a Free Church leader and the other person was my house group leader. I visited each one
of them, but none of them offered me an interpretation, each one of them realising I was
wrestling with Jesus. Some weeks after the spiritual revelations received my conscience was
still bothering me. I had been invalided from the RAF after nine years of service, owing to a
lower back weakness. X-rays taken during my admission as a patient into RAF Hospital
Wroughton, had revealed a prolapsed introverted disc (PID), for which on discharge, I received
a 20% war disability pension. I had lost 30 pounds (lbs) in weight, since taking up squash as a
sport and was no longer troubled with back problems. It was the continuous receipt of this
pension that was bothering my conscience. I wrote to the War Pensions Office and told them
that I now felt perfectly healthy and no longer qualified to receive this pension. My candid
action placed an even greater strain on my ability to meet all our bills. As a finale to this week
of revelation, I experienced a dream or vision, in which:-I was on my knees praying in a huge
darkened auditorium and yet I could see clearly. I was aware of beautiful prayers, like
chords of hummed Gregorian chants, echoing in my ears. I could sense other
worshippers close by, yet there was no one near to me. I felt I was one of a huge
congregation worshipping God. I knew myself to be in the throne room of God, whilst He
listened to the prayers and praises which went on unceasingly. I understood my own
body as being a temple belonging to the Lord. I was a living stone in a greater temple
infinitely larger than my brain could conceive of (which was the throne room of God), it was
an awesome experience.
I received very many more revelations through the interpretation of dreams. On some
occasions I felt a compulsion to record my understanding of the interpretation down, at other
times the dream was repeated, which I took to mean that I should have recorded them and duly
did so. However there have been many other occasions over the years that the significance
was for my personal understanding. Occasionally people have asked me to interpret their
dreams, which proved helpful to them. I realised that like Joseph and Daniel I had been
blessed with the spiritual gift of receiving interpretive dreams for myself and an ability to
interpret the dreams of others who sought my opinion; less so more latterly, probably because
quite often there has been a decade or two between the initial revelation of a revelation and its
fulfilment (as is evidenced later in this autobiography). I accept in humility that in Numbers Ch
12 5-8 all prophets will receive their revelation in riddles, which could result in an informative
interpretation that would be ‘fleshed out’ at a later time, as the event drew closer before
transpiring. As I have waited for the fulfilment of my discernment, I have had cause to doubt
that I had interpreted fully the revelation received. In my human frailty I assume that God
wishes His people to know in advance that He is directing the circumstances of future life
throughout the Earth, often turning the schemes of the adversary against him. God has
declared that He sends or withholds water supply to inform the nation’s political and spiritual
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decision makers of His blessings or punishment following their actions or inactions. The
interpretation of dreams and prophecy is similarly an earthly agency God uses as an alternative
to heavenly inspired signs and wonders
During this period I received a revelatory vision, concerning revival throughout the UK in
general and Cambridge in particular. Initially I saw multiplying beacons of fire that developed
into a huge conflagration. The vision faded away and was replaced in my spiritual sight by a
leafless tree with a splintered twig that had not been completely broken off, from the main
branch. I was told that with care the twig could be restored. I could hear a powerful voice
saying:‘In answer to prayer there will be a renewal and an awakening of Christianity in
this land, which you will experience during your life time.’
The twig represented the Cambridge community of evangelical ‘born again’ believers in today’s
society and the tree branch represented an indifferent acceptance of a nation-wide
understanding of Christianity through accumulative family decadency. The twig had to be
lovingly bound up, in order that sap and therefore life could freely flow through it again into a
diseased branch that itself needed restoration. I recognised myself as part of a team of tree
surgeons, whom I visualised as a group of specialists, working in an operating theatre, setting
a greenstick fracture in plaster. I knew with certainty that I had to share my revelations and
expectations with like-minded folk, across the denominational barriers within the city of
Cambridge. I had not thought of revival at the time of my conversion, but from having decided
the issue of baptism for myself, I received a yearning for revival to occur, at least in Cambridge,
if not Britain. I wrote the prophecy into my Bible, but decided that the sharing of the vision was
for a later time.
My conscience would not allow me to offer the health club facilities on a Sunday, for the
club would have needed staffing, which was unacceptable to my Christian beliefs, for I held to
the belief that Sunday was a day for being with one’s family. In effect this meant that our
competitors were offering a 15% discount over our prices, as their facilities were open for an
extra day of every week. Sunday was not offered as an option for our members, but
membership of our health club continued to grow steadily. Through natural eyes our club
prospered because we were local people and therefore better known to the clientele than the
faceless national owners who appointed managers to increase their wealth. Pauline and I spent
a great deal of time at the club, so there was a successful owner/client relationship. Also, we
had a good relationship with the local radio station personalities and those of the local
newspapers. I was asked by Radio Cambridgeshire to take part in a series of programmes
detailing the benefits of a healthy diet and exercise producing a healthy body. Nick
Barraclough, the producer of the radio programme, and later of BBC programmes became an
enthusiastic member of our club; but there had been a spiritual intervention from the Lord who
reigns. After a year or so of trading, ‘Shape Up’ unaccountably closed their doors and went into
receivership! Many former members of ‘Shape Up’ joined our club. This confirmed my belief (if I
needed confirmation) that God honours faithfulness and integrity, by prospering the work of the
hands of believers’. I gave honorary membership to my clergy friends believing that they would
spend some time speaking of their faith in the resurrected Christ to fellow club members. I
displayed notices of forthcoming Christian events and meetings on a notice board in the club
lounge, together with many Christian pictorial tracts, to declare to our clients that we ran a
business based on ‘Christian principles’. Quite a lot of informal evangelism took place in the
club, which gave me a great deal of satisfaction. I am not aware of any of our clients becoming
converted to Christ through our witnessing, but we certainly proclaimed the gospel!
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I meditated over many hours over Pauline’s confirmation classes at St James’. I
acknowledged that at my confirmation I had affirmed certain vows as the Bishop confirmed me
into the Anglican Church, but I confess I repeated the vows by rote and not conviction, which I
am sure is the experience of many whose parents accepted the doctrinal denominational belief
in this experience confirming acceptance into the Kingdom of God for their children. All that
confirmation classes had proved to me was that I had learned certain information, but my
learning was in my head, it had not percolated into my heart. I had not been ‘born again’ at my
confirmation; the Holy Spirit had not been controlling my thought patterns or behaviour over the
years. Oh yes I did suffer the occasional pangs of a guilty conscience, but having met with
Jesus I knew that at my confirmation I had not accepted Him as my Lord. Confirmation had not
turned me into a Christian, as can be deduced from the earlier chapters of this book.
Confirmation is not an alternative to being ‘born again’ through water baptism, Jesus did not
lump the two practices together, as a complete package. He would not have agreed that
confirmation is an acceptable alternative to total immersion, rather as the Pascal Lamb He
separated the yeast of sin from the dough as a preview to what must follow after His vicarious
death as a substitute for the whole of mankind’s sin. I knew that Sydney had baptised believers
in the River Cam, much to the chagrin of other Anglican vicars who had asked the Diocesan
Bishop to ban any future baptisms! I decided that both Pauline and I needed to be publicly
baptised as adults.
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It appeared to me that confirmation contravenes the Bible’s directives, which explicitly
states in Mark Ch 16:16:-“Whoever believes and is baptised (into the power of the Holy Spirit
through which one is born again) will be saved,” the remainder of the sentence seems to imply
that christening and confirmation does not lead to belief in discipleship but rather to
condemnation. Catholic doctrine re-enacts Christ’s crucifixion at Communion, the priest taking
Christ’s place. If John Ch 6:66 is to be believed, it is also possible that the heart may be truly
regenerated (softened from stone) without baptism and to receive salvation, as we can be
assured of, by the words of Jesus to the thief on the cross. Being born into a Christian
household or into what is euphemistically referred to as a ‘Christian country’ is not membership
into the Kingdom of God. A common analogy often repeated is:-“Just because you were born
in a garage, doesn’t mean that you are a car! St Paul confirms this understanding in
Ephesians Ch 3:5 where he states that as far as his flesh life (his pedigree as an Apostle,
recognised by the Church of his day) was of no consequence. Theologians have argued for
centuries over predestination and reprobation (aka double predestination), supralapsarianism
and Pelagianism, all doctrines that have their supporters; but I base the assurance of my
election on predestination and God’s foreknowledge of my water baptism! Any Catholic or
Anglican who has been christened and confirmed on accepting these ceremonies as complete
fulfilment, and might consider their own flesh life as of no consequence in fulfilling one’s
commission. My confirmation only made me a member of the Anglican Commune, it did not
produce the fruit of grateful repentance, which is a life dedicated to serving God. I am aware
that many faithful followers of a denomination do suffer morbid introspection and pangs of
doubt, but why not be guided by the Holy Spirit rather than a doctrinal dogma, why not do as
Jesus did in being baptised into service? Jesus commission to the apostles in Acts Ch 1:4-5, 8
is quite straightforward, He urged them to:-“Wait for the power that comes with the baptism
of the Holy Spirit, and then you are to be My witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria,
and unto the ends of the earth.” Even though I have gone through the waters of baptism into
new life, I humbly recognise that I regularly need to plead for forgiveness, because the spirit of
rebellion in my flesh life contests with the Holy Spirit who desires to control my sinful nature
(Romans Ch 8:5-8).
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Jesus only tells believers when eating the bread to remember His sacrifice for mankind’s
sin, that the bread represents His body that was broken for all in union with Him, and whilst
sipping from the wine, that it represented His blood that was poured out on the Cross. In the
washing of the disciple’s feet, there is confirmation that the sins we commit daily are forgiven
(washed away). Titus Ch 3:5 explains that God’s mercy, the children of the free woman (see
Galatians Ch 4:21-31) are washed in the rebirth and renewed by the Holy Spirit. Even adult
water baptism is not a guarantee to obtaining salvation, as it is still possible to fall away
through revoking one’s former allegiance; thereby needing repeated evidence of repentance,
which means subjecting Christ to crucifixion for a second time (Hebrews Ch 6:1-8). Romans Ch
6:3-4 states that baptism into the union of believers in the name of Jesus as the first-fruit of the
resurrection means being buried with the body of believers with Jesus into His death. Believers
are confident that having been ‘born again’ through baptism into Christ through the saviour’s
death, their perishable seed is supernaturally converted to imperishable seed (1 Corinthians
15:50, 1 Peter Ch 1:23). At Christ’s return those in union with Christ are reconciled as
recognition that they are in the image of the redeemed thief who died on the cross, together
with those who rose from the grave (Matthew Ch 27 51-52), in every year since the Cross. I
believe I will return to Earth in my restored eternal body from heaven with Christ at the trumpet
sound of Thessalonians Ch 4 14-17. The believers living at the Second Coming will be
Raptured and complete the harvesting of the fruit of the promised resurrection. All believers
must be ‘born again’ into the Holy Spirit. Not only has Jesus paid the price for everybody’s
universal corporate sins (even our future sins), but we can also be set free from the shackles
that bind us through any ‘sinful abnormalities’ practised by our ancestors (such as belonging to
the Freemasons), or from any genital inheritance. The sins of the father are visited on
unredeemed people even unto the fourth generation (as Deuteronomy Ch 5:9 illustrates).
Matthew Ch 7:21 27, Luke Ch 7:46-49, Romans Ch 8:5 9, explain my reasoning that only adult
baptism on intimate renewal was acceptable in Christ’s sight, as evidence of being ‘born again’
by the Spirit of God. Quite obviously the Jew and honoured member of the Sanhedrin,
Nicodemus, believed that God fearing Gentiles became ‘born again’ on converting to Judaism,
but all observant followers of Rabbinic Judaism, were surely automatically saved; this is the
same philosophy of the Roman Catholic Church, who maintain membership of the Kingdom of
God requires becoming a member, even if a lapsed Catholic! In one paragraph I have spoken
of my conviction of adult (disciples) baptism, the fulfilment of the resurrection of all believers
through the Rapture, thus fulfilling the covenantal promise and how believers through
communion reaffirm their commitment of discipleship through remembrance of Christ’s
redeeming, vicarious sacrifice, which overcomes the wages of sins of omission or commission,
and the fear of death by oblivion. There is no extinction from existence, only eternal life or
eternal death.
Maureen Ambrose, a divorcee, had previously sought the greater spiritual understanding
through the Spiritualist Church (as I had done in my youth). Occasionally she attended Ely
Christian Fellowship Maureen often accompanied us or would attend St Matt’s with us but she
finally decided to join the Eden Baptist Church, where she was baptised. 6 Pauline accepted that
Pauline and I visited Maureen in Addenbrooke’s Hospital to pray for her recovery from cancer. She did
receive five years remission and died in Christ in May 1992, completely sure in her eternal salvation. The
other person we prayed for at this time was Pearl Prior’s husband Harold, who also received several
years’ remission from a cancerous tumour. Harold had attended a high Anglican Church for some time
before receiving his healing in 1986. Pearl maintains that it was his healing that made Harold become
alive in his spirit. He started to attend Ely Cathedral every Sunday, whilst Pearl attended the nearby Ely
6
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confirmation into the Anglican commune was not baptism into new life and we jointly decided to
be baptised by full immersion as a public witness to our friends and family. We went through
the ceremony together on February 24th 1985, at the Elim Pentecostal Church in Plymouth,
where my younger sister Jean was a member, in the presence of my mother, step-father John
and my sister Pat. Jean jointly shared the burden with me of the need of salvation of both our
Mum and our sister, in perhaps their last opportunity of salvation. I had asked for permission to
testify at the baptismal pool, and announced that:-“I am conscious that prior to my
conversion I had been gifted with some spiritual attributes but these were from the devil,
for I can trace them back to the time of my involvement with the spirits of the dead or
demons at ouija board sessions. I was aware that I had been given an evil eye; and was
able to wish harm on individuals, families and businesses and even calamity on nations.
I invariably hear what has been suffered fairly soon after a misfortune has occurred by
whomsoever I had turned my hatred against. I had been able to read an individual’s mind
and impose my will over them to suit my purposes. I have, repented of my former
dalliance with the dead. I renounce all those earlier ‘giftings’ and ask Jesus to sanctify
any future gifting He might entrust to me.” I confess that I did not receive any blinding
revelation at my water baptism, but I did receive an inner glow having renounced the devil and
repented of my own previously sinful ways, and received confirmation that I was to be
spiritually blessed further. Magnificently Jesus not only accepted my sacrifice, but gave me a
far healthier and more demonstrable gifting. In being baptised as an adult I had acted in
obedience to God and not to the Anglican Church’s doctrine that christening at birth secured a
place in heaven alongside a mother and father, who are ‘born again’ only in the warped
philosophy of the Anglican Church.
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I retired to bed the evening of my baptism and received an experience of a confirming dream
that my decision to be baptised was ordained by God:I was sitting upon a boulder amongst a large number of other men from a
fishing village from a bygone age; some were clothed in animal skins, whilst others
wore cloth. I knew us to be of Noah’s natural and extended family listening to our
patriarch speaking of the error of following a false god in order to receive short
term benefits at the expense of a later but greater reward. Noah emphasised that
salvation lay in believing that only the God of all creation held power over each
person’s soul. He preached to the families concerning their sinful condition, which
may have included their sexual proclivities and any experimenting with genetic
engineering and cloning, in which their 'pre-Flood illuminated' minds might have
indulged. (I am repeating the prophecy of so many ‘Old Testament prophets). Volcanic
eruptions, and earthquakes accompanied by the other twin terrors of after-tremors
and widespread flooding are caused because God chooses to confront the nations
with the Gospel. The lives of the beleaguered villagers threatened by the
consequences of the coming calamity were of deep concern to Noah. The eruption
of volcanoes, together with the effects of the hot sun on the frozen surfaces of
mountainous glaciers, had caused these huge creeping bulks to slide slowly into
Christian Fellowship. Although Harold was never baptised, he experienced the blessed assurance in his
salvation. In 1991, I took Pearl on two occasions to the Arthur Rank House hospice when Harold was
close to death, where I prayed for him. He was certain of his salvation and was peaceful over his
impending death. Harold lapsed into a coma, but in his last lucid moments said to Pearl (who had spent
many hours and days at Harold’s bedside) that Jesus was standing at the foot of his bed. I am sure that
like the beggar Lazarus, he was carried off by angels to be with Christ.
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the valley plains, engulfing whole communities that had settled in the plains
between the mountain ranges. I accepted that Noah’s words were true and I retired
to bed confident that a watchman would awaken me if the prevailing weather
conditions became critical. As the new day dawned a group of men woke me, by
shouting my name loudly outside my home. They urged me to join them in
escaping in one of several large passenger ships that had anchored at the harbour
mouth overnight. As we made our way down the steep slope to the quayside I
clearly saw the mariners and the fishermen from the village assisting their
neighbouring families into the rowing boats and ferrying their passengers to the
larger boats. Hastily but orderly the rescuers rowed their empty boats back to the
quayside steps where other would-be passengers, many with infant families,
waited to board. The field on my right was illuminated by the multi-coloured
phosphorous globules of flaming molten lava that rained down from the sky,
turning to steam on impact with the sodden ground with a loud hiss. The field on
my left was strangely dark and quiet; lightning flashes and thunderclaps added to
the dramatic vista. The cliff road ahead and the valley road leading to the harbour
had become impassable, having been engulfed by avalanches. Without warning
the massive wall of ice tumbled onto the quayside. The escaping villagers in the
small rowing boats screamed in terror, as they were knocked overboard by the
boulders of ice that rained down holing the boats. Frightened people were wildly
thrashing about in the sea trying to avoid the avalanche over their heads. The
rescue ships had raised their anchors for they were sailing into deeper water away
from the harbour in which they may have become land-locked. I placed my hands
over my ears to drown out the terrified screams, closing my eyes to block out the
picture of the disaster that I was witnessing. I swiftly turned and ran inland
clambering over a secured 5-barred wooden-gate into a field and sought shelter
from the strong wind in a shallow hollow. Snowflakes rapidly blanketed the grass
around my feet as the wind banked the drifting snow around me filling the hollow
in which I stood. I silently prayed committing myself to God. My numbed body felt
no pain as I physically died. I knew that I was unequivocally and eternally saved
through this allusion to my own unusual baptism into Christ.
Early in 1985, during one of the FCI lectures at St James, because of the subject under
discussion I felt compelled to share with the class, my conversion and the revelations
surrounding it, leading to the vision of the communion cup in the hands of Jesus with His
revelatory words, that I had received during that memorable week of revelation following my
conversion:-‘Fear not that you (believers) have not completed the commission I gave you
as an undertaking. The harvest is even now being gathered in. Very soon we will be
drinking the new wine in heaven together.’ Many of my fellow students approached me over
the next few weekly lessons to enquire whether I had received further revelations. It dawned on
me that the spiritual gifts given to me were special; they had been uniquely given to me. I
believe that all born-again believers are given their own unique giftings to use, but they may not
be as startling as were mine. My visions proved to be an unusually generous and precious
gifting, not experienced by my fellow pupils.
No one at St James was aware of my taking part in the London Mission to the Hemingford’s
in Cambridgeshire, organised by Foxton Christian Fellowship, an assembly with whom I had
periodically worshipped. The pastors Mike and Pauline Young loved the Jews, and believed in
their whole congregation practising evangelism. I have since travelled in their company to
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Israel to take part in spiritual warfare, and to enjoy the Feast of Tabernacles. This community
gave me my first experience of door knocking and of giving public testimony. My partner on the
mission (for we were following the pattern of ministering two by two) was Valerie Marshall, a
secretary of Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF), from whom I learned to be positive and grasp
the nettle over controversial biblical issues. She taught me a lesson that has since saved me
many hours of uncertain action when counselling. Valerie had retained the names and
addresses of all the people that she had visited in previous years and who she revisited with
me as her partner on this occasion. She had pleaded in prayer for each household throughout
the year leading to this follow-up mission for specific prayer points. I did think her prayers were
effective, but I believe it should have been the ongoing responsibility of the local body of
believers to follow up the visit which we, as a mission team were undertaking. It was at
Papworth village hall on the Saturday evening that I gave my testimony from a platform for the
first time. Incredibly over ten years later, two men (on separate occasions) whom I had never
met, introduced themselves to me by saying ‘You’re Alf Droy, I heard you give your
testimony at Papworth some time ago!’ It can never be the eloquence or scholarship of a
preacher that a congregation remembers, nor is evangelism the divine province of a
charismatic figure, who may address huge crowds. The Holy Spirit can convict the hearer
through the simple and humble testimony offered through any chosen vessel. I read
somewhere that if each individual Christian could convince just one person each year of their
need of Christ, it would take only 38 years to reach the whole world!
58
It had been fully three months after my meeting Mr Heap the chief Revenue Inspector of
Cambridge before Mr Warner the fraud squad investigator appointed to investigate my case,
came to our home with a colleague by appointment and then accompanied me around our little
‘empire’. Together with my accountant, I had several interviews with Mr Warner over the next
18 months following which time we reached agreement over the extent and repayment of the
penalty I was to pay. During the investigative interviews with Mr Warner I tried to explain that I
no longer wanted to hide anything of my previous cunning and devious nature, because the
Lord had told me to conceal nothing. Mr Warner was sceptical of my sincerity. I had shown him
a dummy invoice book that I had raised in support of my deception. I explained to Mr Warner
that I had written to the Passport Office advising them I had lost my previous passport, whilst in
truth I had hidden my passport away in order that no-one would know how many countries I
had visited, and just how often I had travelled abroad. I told Mr Warner that I had previously
worked in the accounts branch of the RAF and had passed the intermediate exam in RSA
Book-keeping and well knew how to cover up my deception when embezzling. He was
impressed with my thoroughness if not my motives. My accountant, Colin Bates, told me that
Mr Warner had said to him that if I was sincere I would volunteer a disclosure of my deception
to HM Customs and Excise Office, the Value Added Tax (VAT) department. For some reason
unknown to me, Mr Warner was not allowed to advise other government departments of his
own investigations. I promptly contacted the VAT office at Harlow and disclosed my deceit to
defraud. I confessed my subterfuge and my change of heart. The result was that after
investigation we had to pay to the VAT man a further £6,500 in respect of unpaid VAT! I do not
know if Mr Warner was impressed at my action or not, but I had cleansed my conscience.
Pauline and I have never regretted what may appear at first sight to many people to have been
an impulsive decision to declare my deception to the income tax authorities, but we both knew
our marriage and our faith was being tested by God.
Some years into our marriage Pauline had befriended Peggy an elderly lady who was
virtually blind, she had seen Peggy waving her walking stick as she sought to cross a busy
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intersection, but no car gave her the opportunity to cross the road. Pauline parked her car and
ran to help her. She was making her way to a betting office to place a bet. Pauline waited for
Peggy to complete her transaction and drove her to her home. We later learned that Peggy had
been a prostitute in her younger days. She was a cheerful woman who never complained
although her circumstances were difficult. She enjoyed a cigarette, a drink and a bet on the
horses, always looked on the bright side of life, and was not frightened by the prospect of
dying. Pauline invited Peggy to our home for a fellowship meal prior to our attending a healing
service at St James Church where she was obviously out of place. We did invite her to attend
again but she politely declined. She exhibited something that I can only describe as of being
the faith of a little child that gave her serenity beyond understanding. Knowing her caused me
to question my theology, for I knew that I had not the ability to judge who would be invited into
the New Jerusalem by the Lord of Eternity. She lived with a drunken, foul-mouthed Irishman,
who thought the world of Peggy and was devastated at her death. We occasionally visited
Peggy and her lover both at their home and when she was dying in hospital. She quietly
slipped out of this world without protest or complaint, having an assurance in a future life.
Whilst Pauline was visiting our friend Peggy in Addenbrookes Hospital she befriended
another elderly lady with the same indomitable spirit. Rose was confined to a wheelchair, and
was a regular patient at hospital for she had body ailments that constantly needed attention
and repair. We visited her at her home in Sawston quite regularly. She had been the licensee
of a pub following the death of her dearly beloved husband, who had previously held the
licence to sell liqueur. She told us that her husband had died and found himself transported into
heavenly places. He had been surprised but delighted and then dismayed when he was told he
had to return to life on earth to equip his wife with the business acumen he possessed; and to
put all his affairs in order. He reluctantly agreed having received an assurance that his place in
heaven was confirmed. He died a few weeks later and Rose could hardly contain herself that
she would soon join him. Where she got this inner peace and assurance from, if it had not been
planted by the Holy Spirit, I could not begin to guess. Her assurance was not from a church
leader, nor was it from any other human source, for neither Rose nor her husband were
churchgoers. She outlived her husband by several years and we were friends with her for about
two years before she joined him in glory. We missed our visits to her (when we would always
be offered a drink from a well stocked bar), but knew that in some inexplicable way, she was
completely content to leave her future beyond the grave to some higher authority.
Prior to, and during the 18 months income tax investigation, we had been trying to sell our
large house, which the two of us rattled around in. All the furniture and accessories had paid for
in cash from my back pocket. Even the extension of a new kitchen with bedroom above had
been similarly paid for; I had thought nothing of pocketing £1,000 a week to spend on life’s
pleasures. Although we showed many potential buyers over our house during the investigation,
not one person made an offer, even though we had dropped the asking price over that period
from £80,000 to £70,000. The extension of a further kitchen proved to be a financial life saver,
as we found we were able to rent four of our rooms to long-term boarders, with the
convenience for them of sharing their own separate kitchen. We fell further into arrears with our
mortgage repayments, (due to our adjusting our expenditure to paying taxes and not pocketing
any of our daily takings) before we completed the sale of our house. We were forced to accept
a new stricture of living within our (taxable) means. Eventually one of our friends from St
James’s Church made an offer to buy our house subject to contract for £95,000, which we
gratefully accepted. Pauline’s father Ron had agreed that on selling our home we could rent the
apartment of the premise in Newmarket Road where he owned his barber shop. The friend
The Lord is My Shepherd
purchasing my home insisted that I evict my boarders prior to completion of the sale, in order
that he could have security of tenure. On the day we moved out of our house and into our new
home in November 1985, I received a letter from the solicitor of my long-time friend
withdrawing from the sale. I will never forget my father-in-law saying ‘Fancy that and he calls
himself a Christian’. It was not a very good witness by my friend, but it only confirms that nonChristians expect believers to behave somewhat differently from themselves.
60
Mr Warner had announced to us in September 1985 that together with the penalty fine for
tax evasion and the accumulative interest dating back to when Pauline and I first married, a
total sum of £100,000 was due; the debt being written into the accounts of the parent holding
company as Corporation Tax. Mr Warner decreed that we should have to pay £50,000 at the
end of January 1986, being the difference between our mortgage and the selling price of our
house. This would leave a shortfall of £50,000, which was to be met by six payments of £7,500
on each subsequent January 30th and to be fully redeemed on the seventh payment. It was a
great relief that I didn’t have to face imprisonment; all the authorities required was for
recompense to be paid! Prior to departing for our 1985 Christmas holiday; I had presented a
copy of the audited accounts to my bank manager, but was untroubled, not realising the
reaction of my bank manager.
I had travelled to Portugal for our Christmas holiday clutching a book entitled The Radical
Christian by Arthur Wallis, loaned to me by a Christian friend Rebecca. Rebecca Wilkinson
together with her husband Tony has been faithful and enthusiastic founder members of the
3C’s (Cambridge Community Church), which had been formed from the Covenant Ministry
meetings where I had first met them. Rebecca was employed by the Cambridge District Valuer
where I sought her advice on the rateable value of the premises in which we housed our health
club. Rebecca recounted the story of my visits to her office as encouraging in that I could not
stop rejoicing of what Jesus Christ had come to mean in my life. At an earlier of the 3C’s
celebration evenings I responded to an altar call to receive the gift of tongues. A member of the
musicians, Rebecca’s husband had prayed for me but I did not receive the gift at that time.
Tony suggested that I take my plea to God in prayer and practise moving my tongue around an
open mouth, whilst speaking out vowel sounds. He suggested that this would best be effective
when alone in my car whilst listening to a music tape or when in a meditative prayer time before
God.7 Having accepted the contents of The Radical Christian as profoundly biblical, I could no
longer give my pocket change into the offering basket as my tithing. My tithing, like my
attendance at church, had to be important to me and affect my lifestyle. It was two years after
becoming ‘born again’ that we finally ceased attending services at St James We had not
changing our allegiance to any other church, partly because I had entered into a two year
course of study at the FCI in order to qualify for the Bishop’s Certificate that would not be
completed until June 1986. I chose not to explain our true reasons for leaving St James to any
of its members, because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling or cause resentment. At that time
I could not have known that part of my commission would be to write books, in which my
forthright views could offend some people!
It was a further six months of earnestly seeking this gift before I was ‘slain in the spirit’ (I fell to the
ground when my muscles didn’t support my body weight), at St Matt’s whilst Louise Morse was laying
hands on me and praying for a release of spiritual gifts that I spoke in an unknown tongue for the first
time. Satan tried to convince me that I was making the words up from my imagination, but I ignored him
and persevered. With practise, it became natural for me to speak supernaturally in an unknown language.
I have since always urge others seeking the gift of tongues with whom I am praying to try that procedure.
7
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Whilst on our holiday we decided that we would become members of the 3C’s assembly,
which we would proclaim at the following Sunday service. On our return a letter from the bank
manager asking me to telephone to make an appointment demanding an immediate response.
On the Sunday we duly drove to the Coleridge Road School where the 3C’s fellowship had
been meeting for some time. On our arrival we found that the gates were chained and
padlocked, because the school had been closed to the public during the Christmas recess and
the church were meeting elsewhere. We took the locked gates to be a sign from God, that we
should not change our denominational affiliation. We drove straight to St Matt’s where we
worshipped as members for many years, we had previously visited St Matt’s many times
without making a commitment of membership, but now we were delighted to join both the
church and the cell group led by David and Judith Pilkington, who had been members of the
Baptist Church since their youth, but on moving to Cambridge through David’s job, they needed
to seek out from the Lord at which church they were to worship. They told us at cell (or house)
group that they had visited many churches and several times before deciding to become
members of St Matt’s church. We shared out testimony with the group, and told them of our
forthcoming meeting with the bank manager. The following week at cell group, we shared the
details of our interview with the bank manager.8
In our own strength, Pauline and I could not have coped with the intimidation of the bank, but together
with our cell group we petitioned God daily for His protection those who and received assurance and His
peace. One of my business friends, who had been similarly hounded by the bank, had previously
committed suicide, because he could not take the pressure exerted by the same unhelpful and
unsympathetic bank manager. This friend had not been a Christian and had no prayerful support. My faith
was subject to tremendous pressure for the whole of that seven year period. I was confident that my God
would honour my faithful obedience to Him, and that I would one day be free from the banks clutches.
Despite the situation we found ourselves in, we always believed that the Lord would ensure that our every
bill was met on time, and they were! I assume Colin our accountant knew what the bank’s reaction would
be, but our interview was acrimonious. The bank manager read in the balance sheet of the preferred
creditor (the Inland Revenue) who, in the event of our business failing, had a prior claim to the bank for
the £100,000 Corporation Tax, exposing the bank’s weakened position. The manager was ruthless
towards indebtedness by the bank’s clients. He immediately called in our personal guarantee of £25,000,
insisting that we should sell our freehold shop to reduce our overdraft. It was just when I needed the
bank’s assistance, that they pulled the rug from under my feet, in a heartless execution. I realise that
during the long recession the bank, in their commercial perception, dealt with my case no differently than
other banking institutions dealt with defaulting customers but, at that time, several local family businesses
were forced into bankruptcy by ‘my‘ bank, in following what I considered as a short-sighted policy. The
manager restricted our overdraft terms to a crippling position, repayment of loan from twelve to eight
years, simultaneously increasing all the bank’s charges for services rendered. We were charged 91p for
every cheque I wrote. I was compelled to present myself before the manager once a month in order to
keep the bank informed of our trading position. I was charged £200 on each occasion for the privilege of
his valuable time! I had to repay £1,500 per month in overdraft charges alone, which I financed from the
darts business. I calculated that in one trading year I paid almost £30,000 to the bank for services
rendered. We had no savings or rich friends that we might ask financial assistance from, and now that I
was being scrupulously honest in all my dealings, I could no longer pay for items out of my ‘back pocket’.
Having shared with the cell group of the bank’s demands and a group prayer for a miraculous
intervention, David telephoned me the following day, offering to lend me the £25,000 for a few months, at
which time he would need the money returned to pay death duties in respect of a relative. The offer was a
very generous gesture for we had no idea when we would or if we would find a purchaser of our former
home.
8
The Lord is My Shepherd
Our ‘new’ spiritual leader Sidney Simms the vicar encouraged me to speak out in church of
my spiritual experiences, to pray extemporarily and to pronounce words of knowledge and
prophecy. I was uncertain at first whether this availability of platform was available to the entire
congregation, although I later came to see that there were no restrictions on anyone’s personal
ministry. In fact Sidney was pleased to allow any person from the congregation, of whom he
knew and approved, to speak extemporarily during the service. My ministry to St Matthew’s
Church in Cambridge (where I had worshipped as an elder for several years) had been
discerned as prophetic and evangelistic. I have always taken very seriously the injunction
contained in 1 Corinthians Ch 14:15-16: I will pray and sing in my spirit for understanding,
in order to be properly informed over what issues to pray for. I will pray to God for all
spiritual wisdom and understanding of His will.
The Lord spoke to me:
“It was for times such as this that I appointed you to St Matthews. I want you to
advise the congregation of My purposes in the current world affairs. Through
prayer, you seek My guidance on what to pray for as a parish church. Do not be
fearful, nor deceived or deflected, turn the eyes and ears of your heart towards
Me, and look to Me for your enlightenment. A one-world government, a oneworld religion and a one-world economy are the three evil strands that are
plaited together by money, power and authority that are not easily broken. I
have repeatedly demonstrated to the nations that I am a merciful God. Long ago
I scattered the people and confused their language when they sought to deny
My incontestable authority. By this humane measure, I delayed the day in which
the people of the nations would once more aspire to behave as gods
themselves, but that day is now here. My wrath will precede My judgement, for I
will not allow My authority to be challenged with impunity. You are witnessing
the removal of My restraining hand on evil. The true believer need not fear My
vengeance and judgement. My wrath is reserved for those who deny Me. They
did not look upon My creation with the eyes of their hearts, but with veiled
faces, choosing to go their own way in rebellion. Do not weep for the world, but
rejoice that I am coming to claim My bride, My redeemed people. The time of
waiting is over and preparations for the wedding are completed. None of those
who are invited will fail to be there, none for whom there is no invitation will
attend says the Lord your God.”
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The Lord’s hand was controlling every situation in our lives, for as soon as house went back
on the market in the spring of 1986, we received two offers of £110,000. The sale price was
half as much again as we had originally hoped to sell for! I am thankful to God that I have never
been homeless and also grateful to my in-laws, who owned the flat we settled into until
September 1987. We took David and Judith out for a celebratory meal on Pauline’s birthday (9 th
May), which coincided with Judith’s birthday, at which time we repaid their loan on which no
interest had been contemplated by them.
One evening, following our moving into our new home, I telephoned a fellow student to beg
a lift to the FCI evening class at St James. My friend was a committed Christian and a house
group leader in his own church. He jumped at the chance to chauffeur me, for he was well
aware of how God was leading me spiritually and he was troubled by a besetting sin. I did not
see the word ‘pornography’, either flashing or illuminated above his head (as others who
move in the gifts of the Spirit are recorded as having seen), but I already knew with certainty
that this was his besetting sin. It was as if the Holy Spirit had passed me a note, or telephoned
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me in advance to advise me that I was to be used to absolve somebody this night. This friend
had on the return journey home uncomfortably stammered out his confession and asked me to
pray for him to overcome this lust. I was able to tell him that God had revealed his sin to me,
and foreknowledge of his confession confirmed his forgiveness and strengthening of his
resolve to deal with the problem. It was all so quickly accomplished and without
embarrassment. The significance of what had been imparted to me to explain God’s
forgiveness did not strike me until years later, at which time many other people were opening
their hearts to the Jesus, whom they saw reflected in me. The day that the Lord revealed
Himself to me was the most significant day of my life; I knew that He released me from
bondage to sin of which I had previously been dismissive. I knew what it was to suffer the
pangs of a guilty conscience and to find relief through appeasement, but this release was
completely different; accepting Christ as a living Messiah meant my acquittal from blame and
forgiveness and restoration of all previously broken relationships. I knew that I had not
suddenly become holy and righteous; perfection is something believers strive for, but will not
receive until the Perfect One returns. I still experienced immoral thoughts; not that I dwelt on
such unholy thoughts through fantasising; rather I dismiss them from my mind. At that early
stage in my discipleship I was still troubled by the accuser, who continued to berate me for
being a liar and a thief, and a fool to believe that God had forgiven me. Many years into
ministry, I am grateful for the fellowship and encouragement received through other believers.
The night following the completion of the sale of our house, I received a vision which blew
away all my low self-esteem. In my dream Satan said:-‘Why do you think that you can be
forgiven your sins? You cannot even forgive yourself, and also remember the deceitful
methods through which you took advantage of your friends and family, as you sought
selfish advantage’. I tossed and turned but I could not deny the devil’s accusations in insisting
that I was still his servant. Suddenly I became conscious of a diesel engine of a coach revving
up outside my house and of a bus horn hooting together with the sound of happy voices calling
out to me that it was time to leave for the party to be held in St Matt’s vicarage, for which a
coach had been hired to transport us. I had telephoned the organiser earlier that evening
feigning illness, as I was feeling so depressed, but my friends were insistent that I was present
I was reluctantly persuaded to join the coach party. Each one of my friends on the coach knew
the guilt that I felt over my insincerity towards them. I had made excuses for not attending prearranged social invitations over recent weeks and entered into total withdrawal, but tonight the
friends who I had betrayed were determined that I should not spend yet another night worrying
over my spiritual condition. I sat on my own in the bus, crying bitterly over the knowledge of the
depths of my sins. Again, my friends individually comforted me, telling me to forget my past
insincerity towards them as they had forgiven me. On arrival at our destination, all my
companions debussed and ran excitedly to the vicarage before the threatening skies opened.
Large drops of rain started hammering on the metal roof of the bus. I was now totally alone and
the electric storm got worse, it was now raining stair-rods. I couldn’t hear myself think for the
noise and I was getting very cold, so cold I decided I needed cheerful companionship. I thought
I could forget the depth of my earlier sinful life by enjoying the warmth and loving hospitality of
friends who had forgiven my deceit towards them. I decided to take a short-cut to the vicarage
by running through the unlit graveyard, but I slipped in the muddy wet grass and fell headlong
forwards towards a headstone. There came a loud clap of thunder, the headstone was
illuminated by a flash of lightning. On the stone the engraved words stood out clearly:-‘Here
lies the body of Alf Droy, but his soul is in heaven with Jesus his Christ’. Revelation came
to me: of course I could not pay for my sins myself, but Jesus had paid the price of my
redemption. There was no way that I could ever earn my forgiveness. It had been a sovereign
The Lord is My Shepherd
move of the grace of God to accept my sincere repentance on Christ revealing Himself to me.
There was no reason for me to feel so unworthy, the devil’s accusations meant nothing, I was
forgiven because I had been saved by grace despite my former wayward life. I had been
prepared to go through the rest of my life paying some form of penance, like the Jesuit priests
in ages past had done, accepting humanities judgement in extolling that individuals must pay
the price for their own crimes (sins). I was confident that it was futile to carry the unnecessary
baggage of my sins to the grave, as a form of bondage of sufferance. Suddenly I knew that it
was only the memory of my former sinful life it was reasonable for me to recall, for that was part
of my renewed personality and I had learned much from my former life, and I would be able to
comfort others struggling in similar circumstances because of my earlier unredeemed
experiences. This spiritual awakening is available to each one of us. We cannot earn a place in
heaved by merit, for we can never pay the redemption price of our sins by our own efforts. I
had been undeservedly freed from bondage by God’s grace alone; this is a reality that the devil
had tried to steal away from me. I now had the assurance of eternal life. I also realised that I
too, was equally to forgive everyone who had wronged me. The act of forgiveness of myself
and those I had wronged completed the circle of forgiveness. I asked the gentleman who
answered my knock at the door of the vicarage (I recalled Matthew Ch 7:7-8 and later
understood it was Jesus Himself answering the door) to direct me to the bathroom, in order to
wash away the tears and the mud from my face. The bathroom was brilliantly lit, with water
cascading down the white tiled wall before swirling across the floor into a drain hole. I
immersed my head in a basin of water and on surfacing shook my head to clear the water from
my vision and to clear my mind of all the previously confusing thoughts. Still bowing forward
from dousing my head in cold water I turned around with outstretched hands for the proffered
towel, but all I could see were sandaled feet. Through a word of knowledge, I knew it was
Jesus who was offering me not only a towel, but a white robe of righteousness! I took the towel
gratefully. Having smartened my appearance, I joined my friends who were blowing-up
balloons. I recounted to them excitedly my experience in the graveyard, and that I now
accepted I had been forgiven of all my sins, and to prove it, I would breathe my new redeemed
breath into my soul (which somehow was outside of my body) to demonstrate that it would
float like a balloon. My friend’s laughter was silenced as my soul slowly floated alongside all the
coloured balloons as if filled with helium. My soul slowly floated ground wards, but before it
grounded Jesus came from amongst the throng behind me saying “Never mind Alf, keep your
eyes focussed on Me.” He then directed my soul to rise amongst the balloons
64
The following day through the revelation revealed I felt I was walking on air, for I had met with
the living Lord Jesus. I now accepted that Jesus is more merciful and loving and trustworthy
than any human being. Unlike me, He would never forsake a disciple by rescinding His
promises. I was judging Jesus’ words by my own human understanding of love and loyalty, on
the promise of forgiveness and of never being forsaken, well knowing that humankind are
primarilary concerned with the expedient and how it affects them. Promises made by men are
like treaties broken or skirted around. The promises of Jesus are covenantal eternal truths. Not
once since that revelation have I ever acknowledged the Accuser’s challenges.
The bank manager forced me to accept the offered price for £70,000, which was intended
to be our future home until our retirement. We had planned on our retirement to lease the shop
with flat above, and live on the proceeds of the rent received as our retirement income. I now
see that it was because the bank had no claim on this mortgaged property, because we had
borrowed elsewhere, which meant they had no claim on our property. They imposed their
dictates throughout the procedure that they intended would end with our bankruptcy and their
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taking ownership of our Castle Hill property. Our Milton Road property would have considerably
increased in value, if we had been allowed to sell at a more advantageous time. However we
were confident that despite the bank’s machinations the Lord would have made arrangements
for our welfare at our retirement. Having sold our retirement investment (that was our freehold
shop), the bank manager insisted we placed our leasehold shop up for sale, for we were losing
£250 each week we traded, so we accepted this directive. Owing to the recession it took a year
before we sold our lease to a trader in coffee. We had to take a loss of about £30,000 which is
what the unsold stock and shop-fittings had cost us. We gave all our unsold stock to a
missionary society, who shipped the goods to Africa, whilst we gave the shop-fittings to a
church that was extending its book shop. I had no difficulty selling my very profitable, but time
consuming space invader business. I was grateful to be rid of these unprofitable and timeconsuming businesses. I still retained control of the darts business and the health-club despite
the bank pressurising me to sell the freehold of our Castle St property at a huge loss.
Eventually we sold the freehold of our health club/restaurant, at our asking price of £150,000,
the exact amount of our overdraft! Which released us from the constricting coils of the bank we
thought would support us because of our previous profitability in increasing their profits. Once
released from their stranglehold I immediately moved our business account to a more client
orientated national bank! I retained a ‘flying 99-year leasehold’ on the top two floors in which
our gym traded. We were able to profitably continue running the club without monthly
encounters with a greedy dispassionate bank.
In November 1986 I became aware through Pauline leaving the Barclaycard monthly
statement on our bed, that in order to meet our bills Pauline had used our credit card to decide
monthly what bills could be paid without alerting me to the fact that we were going into debt. I
was not best pleased at Pauline’s reasoning, because our increasing indebtedness to
Barclaycard had risen to over £1,000. I was adamant in insisting that we should tithe 10% of
our income, and under no circumstances spend more than we earned, which should include
any hire purchase agreements and interest charges from any company supplying goods or
services to us. Pauline accepted my decision and in order to clear our Barclaycard debt we
agreed to sell our Ford Fiesta valued at £2,600 to my father-in-law, Ron, for £2,000 (payable
immediately to clear our debt), with the proviso that I could continue to use the car until we took
an eagerly awaited Christmas holiday on the Algarve. On our return from Portugal we had
exhausted our funds, but we were now familiar with this situation. In early January 1987 I
visited the showrooms of a Volvo dealership, taking with proprietor Barry was an old friend. On
the strength of the assessor’s report, we agreed with a handshake that I should purchase a
1986 car, at a greatly reduced price (because I did not have a car to part exchange and
because a new model was being introduced in 1987). Barry would wait for the deposit until I
received the insurance money in February 1987. Through the sale, we had enough money to
pay off our Barclaycard debt and to pay for our holiday, during which time Pauline fell pregnant.
Pauline longed for a child of our own and I agreed that a child would cement our love for each
other. She had received prayer for fertility at a John Wimber conference and many of our close
friends also prayed with us over many months. We both had faith that the Lord wanted to bless
us with a child. Prior to our holiday, my car was written off in a collision with another car. I
explained to Ron that he would have to wait for his money, until after the insurance company
remitted the write-off value of the car. On receiving the full £2,600 write off I repaid my fatherin-law his £2,000 and paid to the garage the deposit outstanding for my new car! Again I saw
the Lord’s hand in all departments of our life. Meanwhile, we were having to pray for a bumper
provision of money to pay the £7,500 for our tax liability due at the end of January, only a week
or two away.
The Lord is My Shepherd
During the following week a man came into out gym asking if he could leave some carpets
for a few nights in our unused cellar, for which service he would pay me £1,000. As much as
we needed the money, I turned his proposal down. I did not need a word of knowledge to know
that these carpets had been stolen. The following day a reporter from the Town Crier, a local
weekly newspaper, walked into our health club, wishing to write a topical feature article on
health and fitness, for people invariably make New Year’s resolutions to diet after their
Christmas excesses. A 100mm square colour photograph of Pauline in the club’s Jacuzzi bath
appeared on the front page of the newspaper, with a glowing article on the facilities on offer at
our club, which resulted in many people joining our club. We usually spent a sum of money on
advertising each month, so this welcome exposure was a gift from heaven. We received
sufficient revenue to meet the £7,500 tax bill on time!
66
I have written earlier of my Mother and unsaved sister Pat attending our joint baptismal
service, following which I repeatedly told them (harassed them without their invitation) of how
Jesus had saved dissolute me from my former lifestyle and how they ought to seek His
guidance. For years Mum had been a heavy smoker, saying that smoking was one of the few
pleasures in her life. She came to terms with her mortality after suffering breathing difficulties
and related problems and gave up smoking. Mum’s health continued to deteriorate and she
underwent spells in hospitals. We had decided to attend the Spring Harvest Bible Camp at
Minehead for the first time in 1986 (which we attended most years until 2004, alternating
between Minehead and Skegness for the Word Alive weeks). Owing to the nearness of the
Derriford Lodge Hospital to Minehead, we visited Mum prior to attending the Bible Camp.
Following our four days at Minehead, we returned to Plymouth and stayed a few days with
Mum, who had been discharged from hospital. Pauline and I at that time followed the pattern of
reading from the Bible daily, using the daily notes of Every Day with Jesus. On this visit we
included Mum in our meditations and prayer, which we shared by her bedside. I spoke of her
need to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour and to acknowledge and repent of her
personal sinfulness, as being the only way to defeat death and obtain eternal life. I believe I
had nursed judgemental unforgiveness towards Mum over her behaviour not so much as
raising us as children, but in her seeking a life that did not include her family. She sought my
forgiveness as paramount to her own salvation, and could only accept Christ knowing of my
personal forgiveness. Mum needed to be sure of my forgiveness, which would release her into
being reconciled to Christ. I knew with certainty that Mum had understood that my forgiveness
was genuine and loving, and gratefully received reconciliation with Jesus. Pauline and I knelt
by Mum’ bed and led her in a sinner’s prayer and asked for forgiveness of God and inclusion
into the Kingdom. We left Mum some illustrated pamphlets and some audio tapes and returned
home. On the Sunday we took Mum to the Mothering Day service, in the Tavistock Anglican
Church, where her own dedication service was held a month later. Within a few days Mum
telephoned me to say that she intended to tell Pat’s children, the importance of knowing Christ
personally.
On Easter Sunday March 30th 1986, Pauline and I had been invited to share lunch with the
Ely Christian Fellowship. This was Tony and Margaret’s way of thanking us for giving them our
dining table and chairs on vacating our ‘mansion’ and moving to our much smaller home. I
returned home and was devastated to hear Jeannie recounting over the telephone the
circumstances of Mum’s death. Mum had been preparing the table for the Easter Sunday tea,
to which she had invited my eldest daughter Kim, together with her husband Martin who were
on holiday in the West Country. Mum had just invited John to admire her table preparation,
when she uttered a gasp and falling onto the sofa, she died. A letter we received after Mum’s
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death, told of her zeal in her new found faith and of her desire to share her faith with her
nieces. It was only later that I realised that I had harboured unforgiveness towards my own
mother, and would have watched her go to hell, where I would undoubtedly have followed her,
if God had not been so gracious towards us both; a lesson well learned.
We attended our Sunday evening service at St Matt’s, which turned out to be a requiem
thanksgiving service to Mum’s life. I will never forget that last month of Mum’s life. Mum’s death
has left a big gap in my life, but I will always be grateful to God for her being my mother. At
Mum’s cremation service, my sister Jean and I were thankful; we felt more like partying than
mourning for we knew our mother was safe with Jesus. Since my divorce, Kim had not kept in
touch with my side of the family, which I knew had upset Mum, as Kim was her eldest
grandchild. When Kim had been a little girl she had remarked in innocence, that as her
grandmother was so old, she would not be alive at her marriage. Mum had retorted that she
would dance at Kim’s wedding; and she had!
I had struggled interminably since my Mother’s death with my anxiety of how I could
communicate the message of salvation to both unbelieving relatives and friends of their need to
enter into relationship with Christ the Saviour, in whom I entrust my salvation into eternity.
Unfortunately over the generations, the Church has not fulfilled the task of being the voice of
Christ. My step-father John had been ill for some years, and since my mother’s death had in
his loneliness had lost the will to live. During a visit to Plymouth when Pauline and I had stayed
at Pat’s home, the Lord woke me one particular morning and told me to lay hands on John to
release him from the pain he was enduring. John was depressed and had been in pain for
some months with various internal problems. I told Pauline of God’s instruction, and,
accompanied by infant Daniel we called at my stepfather’s home to pray for his healing (but
preferably his salvation). I told him that God in whose name I would pray had authorised me to
pray for a miracle. John said that he didn’t mind whose name I prayed in, if only the pain would
leave.
The following morning at the breakfast table Pat asked me out of a healthy curiosity to know
whether my faith had ‘worked’ in relieving pain. I told her I didn’t know as we hadn’t returned to
John’s home to inquire. Pat immediately rang John who assured her that ‘the pain has lifted’
(he obviously expected it to return, like fog does in the autumn). He had not driven his car for
several weeks, but he went for a drive later that day and drove regularly until shortly before his
death. My sister Pat had been very responsible in respect of observing her filial responsibilities
and provided John with Sunday lunches. In return John acted as her chauffeur whenever Pat
travelled into Tavistock or Plymouth on an errand. I was more concerned about my sister Pat’s
eternal salvation than I was about my own, for mine was assured. She together with the rest of
my family had witnessed the ceremony of Pauline and I being baptised by full immersion at the
Elim Pentecostal Church in Plymouth in 1985. Having heard my public renunciation of Satan
Pat was aware of the power of God in the lives of Pauline and I. For many years I had been
urging Pat to seek the Lord for herself and her husband Peter (who had been the licensee of a
public house until their retirement), but Peter had chosen to rely on his Freemasonry belief that
Masons and their wives had received superior wisdom and would be exempt from times of
trouble. Whenever I tackled Pat, she always said she would look deeper into Christianity when
she retired from her business commitments, and had more time available. For two or three
weeks after retirement she had attended a church assembly that congregated in a school,
crying throughout the services. I suggested that she sought a counselling session with the
The Lord is My Shepherd
pastor, but Pat, considered the well-being of her two adult children as more important than her
own salvation. I pray that God will honour this selflessness.9
68
I have written about these episodes in detail, because I had no reassurance that either Pat
or John ever accepted Jesus, and I feel at a loss to know how to get the message through to
other quite elderly and pain ridden members of my family, who have shown total disinterest in
the message of reconciliation. I take comfort from the words of Romans Ch 10:13-15:‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then can they call on the one
they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard?
And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless
they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’ For at
least all our relatives and work-mates have heard the gospel from us, and can testify to the
change in our lives. Francis of Assissi said, ‘Do all you can to preach the gospel and if
necessary use words!’ With which sentiment I fully concur. I have always tried to portray the
life of Christ through the way I have treated with love and consideration those folk with whom I
mix, whether or not they have responded positively to my blandishments. Obviously the work of
redemption belongs to the Holy Spirit, but Christians should be committed to exercise their
ministry of reconciliation. The Lord does not only use ordained ministers in preaching the
gospel and most ministers sermons are directed only to those visiting his church building! Many
of my family and friends would not be seen dead in church, ironically finally arriving in a church
in their coffin.
On April 8th 1993, on returning from the Channel Islands, Pat and Pete died when their light
aeroplane crashed into a tree in thick fog, whilst they were searching for Exeter Airport. They
had overnighted in Jersey, because the weather forecast had shown Cornwall to be fogged in,
but decided they could not delay returning home any longer. How tragic that the same common
sense decision was not taken on the following day. I take consolation from Luke Ch 7:38 and
pray that Pat had made her peace with the Saviour of the world. The joint funeral service was
conducted by a priest whom I recognised to be a Freemason, by his actions and his speech
and many from Peter’s Masonic Lodge were in attendance. After the service was over, when
the first shovelful of earth was placed on the coffins, I knelt at the grave side and proclaimed
loudly:- ‘The Lord gives life and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord! I
pray that You may have mercy on the souls of Pat and Pete, as I cut off their ties with
Freemasonry, by rejecting its institution as Satanic and therefore evil: in the name of the
I cannot understand why the pastor or some other counsellor of that church, or kindly soul could not
have reached out to Pat in her obvious distress, or why nobody took the trouble to find out where she
lived and sought to befriend her. She lived in a village only five miles distant from the Tavistock Church
she attended, but the leadership had the facility of a phone book, a friendly follow up call could have
worked wonders. The church Pat had attended was a small Pentecostal gathering, but I expect that many
readers of this book could identify with Pat’s experience in a church of their own denomination. I suppose
there are always so many pressing commitments on the available hours of the full-time pastor, that
unless he has a good back-up team, many fish will slip through the net. However, all church leaders
should realise that to take no action, may mean that a repentant sinner who receives no further guidance,
may be thrown into the eternal fire, due to the inaction of the Church. It is the incident involving my sister
which makes me realise how ill-prepared the Church in general is, to receive the new converts, who will
come flooding in, at least to some churches at the awakening. I wonder how God will judge the
assimilation of new converts by His disciples, who are in leadership roles within their various fellowships?
9
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Lord Jesus Christ.’ There was a stunned silence, as the mourners made their way out of the
graveyard into their cars and back to their self-secured lives. I trust that the Freemasons
present understood my prayer and the wives, who meekly accept their husbands’ secret
fellowship, might in the future speak out against their husbands’ involvement in this secret
society. Pat’s death had left John without anyone depending on him when she so tragically
died some five years after Mum’s death. John told me that he hated the thought of a lonely old
age and the pain of infirmity.
I attended my step-father John’s cremation service on Monday November 24 th 1996 at
which I gave a short address. I wish I had the assurance that John enjoyed that he would be
reunited with those he loved on the other side of life. I find it incredible, this blind faith that nonbelievers apparently enjoy in their belief in a perfect after life. On the following Monday, I
conducted the service of remembrance of my friend Jim, who had been the licensee of my local
pub, who had expressed a wish that I should officiate at his committal to the flames. Many of
those attending the service knew of my faith in the love of God, which I wear on my sleeve, but
again I ached as I believed as in the past I have been talking to the lost, without convincing
them of their need of Christ.
David and Judith were the leaders of our very loving and caring house-group who had
prayed for us during our financial problems over many years. We accepted the concern of our
house-group in our well-being as being compassionate and caring and not just enquired of out
of curiosity. Similarly, we in turn prayed compassionately over issues in which our fellow
house-group members were concerned. Sometime later our house-groups were restructured
and Pauline and I became house-group leaders. Two young couples the Barbers and the
Thistslethwaites who were barren but anxious to start a family, joined our house-group, and we
interceded regularly and vigorously for the Lord to open their wombs to produce children, both
became pregnant. Strangely enough both these couples left St Matt’s to join other fellowship,
soon after becoming pregnant. We remained in friendship with the Thistlethwaites and were
invited to attend the opening day of an exhibition of Ali’s paintings. Perhaps it was the stress of
organising the event, or the excitement of the big day, but for whatever the reason Ali started to
bleed. She asked me to accompany her to her home and to pray for her, she was very
distressed for she had miscarried on three previous occasions. I found myself prophesying
over her whilst she lay in her bed of affliction that evening that this pregnancy would extend to
full term and result in the birth of a baby with a very strong desire to live. As I have indicated
earlier in this paragraph, Ali gave birth to Adelaide, a bonny girl. Steve and Annabel Barber had
two children and David and Ali Thistlethwaite had three. Unfortunately, within a year of our
arrival Sidney left St Matt’s for pastures new and we experienced a year long interregnum
before a new vicar, the Rev. Philip Foster was appointed. I was delighted with the appointment
of our new vicar. Philip had been a student at Cambridge University and Cordelia his wife had
been a member of the church choir; they had even married at St Matt’s. I was concerned at the
reluctance of our membership to involve themselves in evangelism, sensing that the fellowship
was complacent that the PCC were not looking to increase church membership if it meant
changes to routine. Philip was keen on evangelism and church growth; we worked on many
outreaches together over eight years.
Tony Cornell had arranged an appointment for Pauline and I in the May of 1987 to receive
spiritual ministry from Mother Marina in Nottinghamshire. Her husband had been a priest, but
resigned in order to serve in his wife’s team. We took communion from our beds, during which I
was informed that I had been delivered from a white witch that had taken up residence in my
The Lord is My Shepherd
body. There had been no manifestation, and I cannot say that after receiving ministry I felt any
different. In the years since the uninvited demon’s expulsion, I have blessed those who I
sensed have held me in contempt and those who have supported me. I take great delight on
seeing a person healed at my laying on of hands, or of my giving a word of knowledge that
spiritually solved an earlier problem that someone had sought my counsel over. Most
importantly I have tried to be obedient to the Holy Spirit’s promptings, rather than exercising
control over those to whom I ministered. On the day we returned to our flat from Nottingham we
received a phone call which resulted in us finally selling the freehold of the Castle Street
property. During the time that we were trying to sell the freehold of the building housing our
health club, we showed many would-be restaurant owners over the building, but the problem
was that none of those interested parties could obtain a mortgage large enough to complete
the purchase. I received a word of wisdom to re-advertise the property, but with my retaining a
40% interest in the property by way of a ‘flying leasehold’ of 99 year duration at a peppercorn
rent. On the day we returned from Nottingham we sold our property and found ourselves with
no debt to the bank and a health club that was actually profitable!
70
My daughter Kim telephoned me to share her joy that she was pregnant. I was thrilled for
her, but didn’t feel it right to tell her at that time that Pauline was in the early stages of
pregnancy. Unfortunately, my mother was not alive to share in our joy. We were not deterred
by the limitations of our home over our decision to raise a child. We had no expectation of
obtaining a mortgage, at my age and with my prospects, but once again the Lord moved
majestically in our lives, providing us with a house beyond our wildest expectations. My first
granddaughter named Amelia was born on August 1st 1987, six weeks before our son Daniel
was born on September 17th 1987, who was then immediately an uncle. Pauline was over 40
years of age whilst carrying her first child. To confirm a trouble-free birth, the Lord had told me
that we would have a son, whom we should name Daniel James. From that moment on, I was
certain that mother and son would be fine. I had prayed during the pregnancy that Pauline
would not suffer the pain usually associated with childbirth. Pauline always offered an ‘Amen’ to
my prayers, well knowing that no natural birth could occur without pain. As Daniel was well
overdue and because of Pauline’s age, the doctors decided to administer an epidural followed
by a Caesarean section. Pauline telephoned me early the morning of Daniel’s birth, to advise
me that she had started into natural labour and wanting me to be in attendance at the birth.
Owing to the effect of the epidural Pauline did not experience any pain during the birthing.
Once again our God had majestically answered my prayer!
We befriended Sandra, an unmarried mother, who arrived at St Matt’s one Sunday morning
in a state of agitation. For some years she had come under the influence of a very violent, exconvict with whom she cohabited, but from whom she was trying to break free in order to start a
new life, bringing to an end the unsavoury association. We offered Sandra friendship and
support and generally helped her to believe in her self-worth, in that she was precious to God.
It was necessary for our vicar to obtain a restraining order because of his disruptive behaviour
to restrict his admission into the church premises. We scanned the ‘situations vacant’ columns
of the newspapers, seeking a job that would allow her to be self-supporting, and she found the
job she needed and where she worked for many years. One Sunday evening Sandra had
telephoned to share her uneasiness, we hurried to her flat. Within the hour her ex-partner
attempted to intimidate his way into her flat, through kicking the entrance door, and uttering
threatening expletives. On my shouting a warning of calling the police, he realised Sandra was
not alone and he left. Over the succeeding weeks she gradually recovered her self-confidence
and self-esteem and has overcome many of her uncertainties. Sandra attended church with us
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for a short while, but fell away soon after. Sandra’s mother in gratitude to us for our helping her
daughter suggested that Pauline should apply for a similar position to her own, which was in managing a
student lodging house on behalf of Peterhouse College10
We had a small life insurance policy which we decided to cash in because we could no
longer afford the monthly premium that was only £12 per month, but we didn’t have that much
to spare. I wanted to take Pauline on holiday to Israel as part of a tour organised by the
Bethany Christian Fellowship. Our tour party under the direction of Bob Gordon was 88 in
number, and we had a memorable time touring the places where Jesus had ministered. Our
arrival at our hotel in Kinneret on the shores of Lake Galilee on the night of the 40 th anniversary
celebrations of Israel’s Independence was significant to me I recall that most of the party
suffered from the heat during our daily coach trips, but my five month pregnant wife ate well
and never suffered any discomfiture during our holiday.
We had only returned home a few days when we received a telephone call from Pauline’s
brother Graham, who had worked for me in the days of my space-invader business, but had
then emigrated to America to marry Carol a lovely girl he had met on a Greek beach. She was
now pregnant and her fancy was to enjoy a holiday on a Greek island to relive their earlier
romantic holiday. The call was to ask if we and their parents would share this holiday with
them. I am always ready for a holiday, and we still had a little money left from my insurance
settlement. The holiday in Cos turned out to be a nightmare for Carol, in that she had an
entopic pregnancy and was taken to hospital, from where she was later returned in a medical
casualty flight to America (an event I had known of as a serviceman as a ‘casevac’ [a casualty
evacuation] by air). On the last day of that traumatic holiday, the Lord impressed upon me to
give £123.10p to John and Clare Krang a couple from St Matt’s church. Pauline agreed that we
should, but she did not mention that we had only £125 left in the bank!
On the Sunday following our Greek adventure I gave a cheque to John, who was mystified
but agreed to pray over what they should do with the money, for he well knew of our financial
predicament. The following day I won £1,000 in a premium bond draw and the following
Sunday our church held a ‘Tear Fund’, bread and cheese lunch, at which John returned our
cheque to us; saying that they had sought the Lord’s will and believed it right to return it. I
believe the Lord was just testing our faith to see if we would freely give despite our own need,
because the sequel to this story was that those of us sharing in this lunch were expected to
donate the cost of our normal family lunch to provide relief for the hungry in Africa. I told the
church treasurer David Pilkington that I would make up the balance for whatever he was short
of to complete a £500 donation. You can probably guess that the amount our church was short
of £500 was £123.10! I just changed the recipients name on the cheque. Our God is a God of
hilarity, He loves to give pleasure.
10 Sandra’s
mother had for many years previously been a bed-maker at Peterhouse College. It had been
the policy of the colleges to offer stewardship of the houses outside the college precincts that they
owned, (retained to provide accommodation for the students that were unable to be accommodated
within the college precincts), to their long serving retainers who had no retirement home and limited
savings of their own. Thus giving their former employees the financial security of tenure of a student
lodging house, in return for their attending to the welfare of the students entrusted to them. We would
never have given a thought to applying for such a position prior to our conversion, but with hope and faith
in our hearts Pauline applied and was accepted.
The Lord is My Shepherd
The following day I received a letter from ‘ERNIE’, advising me of a £1,000 premium bond
win! During the week following, Pauline received a letter from Peterhouse College offering her
an interview, the objective of which was to decide if Pauline was a suitable tenant to ‘manage’ a
student lodging house as a ‘university aunt’ for the College. I have no idea if the grateful
mother had petitioned on our behalf, but I do know the Lord’s hand was upon the situation. The
position had already been offered to someone else who fortunately for us, turned it down. Only
God knows how Pauline’s name came up as the next possible candidate! Pauline was very
pregnant at the time of her interview and she thought that this might prejudice her interviewer
against her appointment, but she was offered the post. We were invited to view the house at 41
Warkworth Street, with a view to becoming the new tenants; where we have served Our Lord
ever since.
72
The previous steward of the college student’s residence, Mr Nelson, insisted on a £1,000
settlement by way of ‘key money’ for all the improvements he had made to the house and for
the linen, bedding, crockery and cutlery he was leaving behind, together with some expensive
electrical appliances, which we could not afford to buy as new. With my premium bond win we
had just enough money to meet his requirements! Mr Nelson’s only reason for moving from the
house we have occupied since his departure was that he had suffered a mild heart attack. He
could no longer climb the stairs of this four storied house without difficulty. Whilst he was
showing us over the house I noticed on the dining room mantelpiece an upside down black
cross some 230 mm high, with a golden snake entwining the cross in its coils. I already knew
the significance of the symbol from my earlier days of spiritual disobedience, but wanted to
draw Mr Nelson into explaining his beliefs. When I asked him what the symbol represented, he
told me that he was a practising spiritualist, having previously attended a Christian Church. The
upside down cross was a talisman to his faith.
Shortly after we moved into our new home, as I was contemplating how to readdress mail
that had come for the Nelsons, the Lord impressed upon me that I should visit Mr Nelson and
warn him that he should throw out any spiritualist paraphernalia he might have retained (just as
I had done with my Freemason paraphernalia on being challenged by Jesus. He should also
repent of his gross sin; otherwise the air that he breathed would be denied him. Mr Nelson was
out walking when I visited his new home. His wife told me that her husband’s health was much
improved. She looked uncomfortable and disbelieving at the message for her husband that I
had to pass on through her, but said she would pass on my message. The following week we
read of Mr Nelson’s death, in the obituary column of the local paper. The devil does not look
after his own servants; he is too deceitful to deliver that which he has promised. Presumably Mr
Nelson had chosen to ignore the message I relayed, but I pray that prior to his death he may
have made his personal confession and repented.
We took the precaution of exorcising our new home, because of the spirituality of the former
residents. Our vicar Philip assisted us in this undertaking, Pauline ‘heard’ whispered into her
inner ear, the Hebrew name El Shaddai, from Genesis Ch 14:19:-‘God is Almighty; He is the
Creator of Heaven and Earth’, which is why we gave this name to our home. The name has
turned out to be so appropriate, for our home is a house of peace and a place of rest and
welcome, refuge and sustenance. My prayer partners assure me that our home is a Jewish
Micvah, a place where God chooses to dwell. With the help of friends and family and at
considerable expense to the College who paid for all the materials used, we decorated the
house from top to bottom. The house was perfect for our needs and decorations were
completed one week before Daniel James Droy entered the world on September 17 th 1987.
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We provided a home for five students during term times, but outside of term times,
Peterhouse College allow us to rent out the student rooms to bed and breakfast guests, which
apart from being very profitable, has proven to be an ideal environment and a good opportunity
to witness to our faith. A copy of my testimony was placed in every bedroom, together with a
Gideon Bible and on most days we have an opportunity to witness to our guests over breakfast.
Our work here has proven to be a most inspirational of callings by God; we thoroughly enjoy
our life style. Our new home was equidistant from our previous home to St Matt’s, which we
took to be a sign that we should continue in fellowship now that we were settled into our new
family home.
I was so certain that the Lord would ensure that our trading companies would flourish until
we had repaid our debt, that two years into our agreement with the fraud squad investigators,
and two weeks after Daniel’s birth, I entered into a three year, full-time course of study, at
Romsey House Theological College, where I obtained the Cambridge Diploma in Religious
Studies. Pauline supported my attendance at Bible College, well knowing that the running of
our health club would have to be achieved without much effective support from me, but aware
that God had made a call on my life. I believed that God wanted me to become a preaching
evangelist and that was why He had gifted me in so many areas of spirituality. Pauline
continued to manage our health club, taking Daniel to the gym with her, which she did for more
than a year, until we sold our interest. A year or so into my studies we received an offer for our
99 year lease, far too inviting to refuse, which we gratefully accepted. Pauline was freed from a
great deal of pressure, for Daniel deserved greater parental attention. We were released into a
freedom which we could never have anticipated, a freedom which allows us to witness to our
faith in an enjoyable and yet lucrative way. I was overjoyed with Pauline’s reaction to my
proposal to give some of the proceeds from the sale of our health club to the three children of
my first marriage. Pauline had no reason, other than accepting my decision, of giving away any
of our hard-earned money as an early inheritance to my children. The only money we had at
our marriage was the settlement money from Pauline’s divorce; I had no money or possessions
when I remarried, because I had given up my right of a share in the home that Pam and I held
a mortgage on. Pauline would most probably outlive me as she is almost 13 years younger
than I; except that I fully expect the Lord to return during my lifetime to ‘Rapture’ us with Him in
heavenly realms. It was therefore a very generous gesture Pauline was making. I am so very
grateful for her response to my wishes, particularly as if I had allowed the natural course of
events to follow, (that is including the children of my former marriage in my will to inherit only
on my death) Kerry would not have received anything, as he predeceased me. We were both
responding to a word of wisdom given by the Holy Spirit, which enlarged on my understanding
of ‘family’, when the Lord drew my attention to Exodus Ch 12:33-36. I was to regard the Jew as
I would one of my own children (just as God does) and provide the same magnitude of support
to the Jew as I would to a son. I recognised that I had a similar obligation to provide sanctuary
to the returning Jews as the Egyptians of Moses’ days had exhibited. 11
Since that prompting we have given financial support to the work of the Second Exodus Trust’s Exobus
Project, whose mission has been to transport Jews making Aliyah (emigrating) from Russia to Israel. The
instigator Phil Hunter my friend over many years has since died, and the organisation has changed its
name to 49:22Trust. They have focussed their ministry on the children of abandoned Jewish children
living in orphanages in the Ukraine, who have through the drug addiction of their parents or through other
complications have forfeited parental rights; please do surf the net to see the extent of their charitable
ministry.
11
The Lord is My Shepherd
Following Daniel’s birth, we arranged a thanksgiving service of celebration. Daniel will make
up his own mind, in his own time, with regard to being baptised into Christ. I trust that he uses
the occasion as a public witness to others of his need to repent and accept the atonement of
Jesus’ sacrificial death, as being the only way of salvation. Daniel at the age of eight stated that
he wanted to be baptised because he recognised and loved Jesus. At this time, having always
been shy and retiring always shunning the spotlight he was not confident to testify publicly to
his faith, but I sense God is grooming him to be a minister of his own church; which seems
incredible; but not more so than Joseph a Chinese Government official, brought up as an
orphan by missionary Gladys Aylwood. Joseph visited my home unannounced, and shared a
fantastic personal testimony of his life; much of which was confidential. He was as confident of
his salvation as was the thief on the Cross, who had also not been baptised by immersion.
Joseph had been the governor of Indo-China, where his wife had died of liver disorder owing to
the prevailing harsh weather conditions, Joseph similarly suffering was being treated in a
missionary hospital, when Jesus revealed Himself to Joseph. His daughter was studying at the
University of East Anglia in Norwich, and had been converted to religious belief by Jehovah’s
Witnesses, which had led her to seek political asylum in America. Joseph had been allowed to
seek treatment at Addenbrooks Hospital, in return for persuading his daughter to rescind her
application. I cannot divulge anything further.
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I have supported the Ministry of Siloam Christian Ministries, from the time that I understood
the meaning of the saying, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’. I had arranged for the
director, Richard Norton, to address St Matt’s Church at a midweek meeting, from which time
since we have remained good friends. Richard arranged during our 1989 Christmas recess
from Romsey House for Pauline and I to assist Oscar Segura the pastor of the Assemblies of
God (AOG) Church in Lagos, Portugal in the delivery of 1,000 food parcels to the orphans and
widows, the poor and destitute that had fled from Mozambique and Angola a decade earlier.
Most of these refugees had been re-housed over the intervening years, but we visited a group
of ten families still living in atrocious conditions in a decommissioned prison. It was an
unhygienic hovel, awash with water that did not drain away quickly enough. All ten families,
(with an average of six children to each family) shared the two toilets and two bathrooms which
did not leave much room for modesty. Other large families slept in caravans measuring 3m by
4.5 m in a small settlement. The children’s play area was a monstrously huge rubbish dump
where rats and lice proliferated. Some of these poor folk were members of Pastor Oscar’s
congregations, but many of the evacuees from Africa were no longer prepared to air their
problems in public, not even if it meant their own survival. They were deeply depressed and
ashamed of their inability to overcome their difficulties without relying on the charity of others.
Many of the deported from Angola committed suicide or became drunkards, junkies or
criminals, many of the mothers and daughters became prostitutes. Their deportation must have
been a humiliating as well as a traumatic experience. The church had an outreach to these
refugees, but the people of Lagos were in the main a poorly educated people living in a high
unemployment area. How can we as humans fully know how effective that outreach served
God’s purposes, only God knows what His purposes were in this and every other situation.
I preached through an interpreter at two AOG congregations on two successive evening.
The first time was in the fishing village of Burgau, where we holidayed at Christmas and knew
many from the church, who lived or worked in the village. The following evening in Lagos, four
people gave their hearts to the Lord. Later that same evening a man approached me to tell me
that he had recently robbed five banks. He was so moved by what I had shared in testimony
through my interpreter that he resolved to return his ill-gotten gains on the following day. Since
Pub Evangelism
75
that first time of foreign mission assignment, I have given testimony or preached in many other
countries. I am always thrilled to see the Holy Spirit move after the preaching of the Word or
when I give testimony. When Paul was called to explain himself to the Church in Jerusalem, the
apostles did not ask what he preached, but what signs followed the preaching of the Gospel,
for they were aware that God answered faithfulness in this miraculous way (Acts Ch 15:4-12)
and it is God’s miraculously demonstrated fullness that I witness to at every service of worship.
Netta the wife of Richard died in 2009 of Alzheimer’s disease, having suffered for many years.
She was such a caring woman of the poor and afflicted, of the same special vintage as her
husband Richard.
Over many Christmases, Pauline and I had regularly attended the English speaking
International Evangelical Church at Vale Judeu (near Faro Airport) since it was formed in the
private house of its pastor, Peter Sluimer. During the Sunday celebrating Christmas 1989,
Pastor Sluimer said that his fellowship had been well received at the local prison during a carol
service held the previous day. He drew attention to the imprisonment of five pastors in
Rumania on the previous day and asked that we might pray for them and their families. During
the open prayer time I prophesied that in the same way that this fellowship had gained entry
and acceptance into the prison the previous day; the Holy Spirit would open the prison gates in
Rumania and allow the pastors out. The dictatorial regime that kept its foot on the neck of the
nation was to be overthrown without delay. My prophecy was not in line with the extempore
prayers being offered and perhaps it was not believed by all present, but there was a chorus of
‘Amen’ following its delivery. On the return journey to our villa, from church, we called in at the
Burgau Tennis Club run by an English couple Andy and Julie Robinson. In the clubhouse on
Sky TV, we witnessed chaotic scenes surrounding a nation-wide rally in Rumania organised by
the party faithful and heard discordant voices in the crowd. The following day the TV carried the
story of the uprising of the people and the overthrowing of the Ceausescu regime. I am always
amazed at God’s revelations or rather by seeing prophecies, announced by me being fulfilled.
Dominions and powers in the heavenlies can be prayed against in the same manner that
oppressive dictatorial regimes are. The wall of Islam in the nations surrounding Israel will
eventually fall. The dividing wall will fall through prayer and fasting but in God’s timing.
During the 1990 May bank holiday period, we decided to enjoy a two week holiday on the
Greek island of Mykonos, our favourite holiday island where we had spent our honeymoon. I
wanted to recap my research prior to sitting for the Cambridge Diploma, a few weeks later. I
received a word of knowledge that the couple in the adjoining apartment were in ‘the ministry’
but were travelling incognito. The husband was aware that I was studying The Theology of
Mission and Early Church History but he had not declared his interest in the subject. He had
observed me sun-bathing in the garden of the apartments whilst surrounded by books. He and
his wife came to say goodbye on their last day, when I impishly said ‘I believe you are a
minister of religion’. He looked surprised at this disclosure, but acknowledged that he was a
Canon in the Anglican Church. I was not all surprised at his confession as I had received many
similar ‘words of knowledge’ of personal information of other people. Later that same day whilst
I was playing with Daniel on the beach, the Lord said:-‘Return quickly to your apartment and
welcome the new arrivals.’ I knew better than to resist this voice and we took the short walk
back to our villa. Inexplicably I was able to tell Daniel that two families had arrived and that they
both had small children. We went through the welcoming formalities, when the Lord spoke to
me again:-‘This man is having an affair with the wife of his travelling companion and is
planning to kill his own wife and make her death look like an accident in order to claim
the insurance, before he asks his lover to leave her husband.’ I was dumbfounded and
The Lord is My Shepherd
later that day I told Pauline of the significance of the mysterious summons back to the villa. ‘I
wish I knew’ was my reply to her question ‘What are you going to do about this revelation?’
I realised that I had been given the earlier now confirmed revelation of the incognito canon, to
encourage me to be confident that I had heard correctly from God and to take courage in
issuing a warning to the would-be murderer. It was not until the last day of our holiday that I
found myself alone with this man. I grasped the opportunity immediately. I told him that God
had revealed his plotting to me and that God would deal with him most severely if he went
ahead with his scheme. He went as white as a ghost and speechlessly fled back to his
apartment! I often wonder whatever the result of my intervention was. Since that time I have
had other such ‘woman at the well’ experiences. I am always amazed at the accuracy of what I
am told during these ‘divine encounters’ as indeed are the recipients to whom revelatory words
are delivered!
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The first time I heard Daniel Cozens, the Ely Diocesan evangelist preach was in 1986 at St
Matt’s, he made an altar call to which no one responded! I spoke to Daniel at length after that
service and recognised in his demeanour a man who was hungry to do God’s bidding. Daniel
accepted applause and rejection as part of his profession of faith. Single minded in his delivery
he was bold enough to address the complacent Christian with an uncompromising word. In his
zeal to win people to Christ he was prepared to become a fool for Christ, a longing which I have
shared ever since meeting him. I told him that I had been aware of his successful ‘Brass Tacks’
mission to Cambridge, and although I had not attended any of the lunch-time services over the
three weeks I had read the reports in the local papers and heard narrated reports from friends
who had attended his meetings. Daniel confided in me that his Through Faith Mission (TFM)
team had been invited to run a follow up ‘Brass Tacks’ mission January 27 th-February 12th
1988, and he captured my enthusiasm by inviting me to help plan the campaign into the pubs
and clubs. Our families became firm friends; we travelled to meetings and worked closely
together throughout the whole time I was at Bible College. Daniel really wanted to move away
from parochial coffee mornings, which were predominantly attended by women, and take his
messages to the pubs and clubs, where the men gathered as ‘regulars’, and mostly they were
not ‘regulars’ of any church. I told him that I would call at various Cambridge pubs where the
landlords were clients of mine through the darts and space invader businesses, and arrange for
evening talks to which church members could comfortably invite their non-church attending
friends for a social drink, and where Daniel could speak very informally to those so gathered.
Chapter 4 - Pub Evangelism- My Period of Growth Through Testing.
77
The 1988 ‘Brass Tacks’ mission to Cambridge City, was supported by 20 local churches
from many denominations, who undertook to offer prayerful and financial support, as £8,000
had to be raised, to which churches and individuals were invited to contribute. Sixty stewards,
50 counsellors and 40 other workers were needed to hand out leaflets around the town each
morning of each of the three weeks of mission.
During the Sunday afternoon commissioning service at Holy Trinity Church for the ‘Brass
Tacks’ mission I shared the vision with the assembly, that I had received earlier in the week of
an Amaryllis bulb, with the accompanying Bible passage from 1 Corinthians Ch 3:1-15, it was
also a prophecy:- The Amaryllis bulb potted in a container, is lovingly nurtured, just as an
earnest, much repeated prayer is cosseted by the potter. It was not known when potting
how many flowering trumpets the plant would produce or what colour they would be.
Amaryllis on flowering are so colourful and pleasing to the eye, especially in England
where they flower in the winter, when there are very few flowering plants. The consensus
of opinion amongst those I shared this revelation with was that we should not to give up on any
of those whom the Lord had laid upon our hearts, whose heads were superimposed onto the
flower heads. Our task was to continually pray faithfully for the salvation of those people who
had been impressed upon our minds and hearts. We did not have to pray for hundreds of
converts with unseen faces, but just a few of who God had reminded us. We should earnestly
seek to visualise faces in the place of the flowering trumpets, in a similar way that we look
through a well-thumbed photo album of family history.
I was particularly pleased to be able to organise what has proved to be one of Daniel’s best
platforms to reach out to the non Christian. His belief that more sinners would convert, having
heard the gospel preached in a pub rather than from a pulpit was well founded. I arranged the
now famous pub nights in areas all over Cambridge city, during the evenings on the weekdays
when Daniel was preaching in the Arts Theatre at lunch times. Many churches in the areas
closest to the pubs sponsored the hospitality and publicity and many Christians took their
unsaved friends or relatives to hear Daniel preach and many found the Lord at these meetings.
St Matt’s organised and paid for two nights of hospitality in pubs located in the parish. Barry
and Sue Badcock, Richard Wood, and Colin Rodgers all of whom later became regular
attendees at St Matt’s, found the Lord at this time and through pub evangelism. Many
Christians brought workmates or non believing family members to hear Daniel in an
environment in which they did not feel threatened. Pub nights have become a regular feature of
Daniel’s ministry ever since that time.
At the first of three Friday evening healing services, following Daniel’s invitation for any sick
people present to come forward I suddenly experienced a horrendous migraine. This was
accompanied by a word of knowledge that the pain was a sympathy pain, attributable to the
man sitting next to me. This man, whom I later learned to be Mike Brothers, had not gone
forward for healing at the invitation. I summoned up courage and asked him if he suffered with
migraine, he nodded in affirmation. I then told him that if he went forward for prayer, he would
be healed. He immediately stood up and walked quickly to the front, taking his place in the
healing line. As soon as Daniel anointed him with oil the pain left my head. At which point I got
up to leave believing that I had done what was expected of me that night. As I walked to the
back of the church my attention was drawn to a woman, whom I later knew to be Pauline
Grounds. The Holy Spirit prompted me to pray for her. I asked her to come into a side room,
where I received a vision of her sitting in a small cell with barbed wire at the window. As I
The Lord is My Shepherd
examined the picture, roses suddenly appeared in full bloom on the sharp prongs of wire; the
revelation that accompanied the vision prompted me to prophesy over her that although she
was feeling depressed and was in a rut, too deep to get out of in her own strength, she would
shortly experience a change in her circumstances. She would be leaving her church and
changing houses, where she would have a garden full of roses. Some years later Pauline
became Daniel’s secretary, I enquired of her whether the prophecy had been fulfilled, she told
me that everything I had predicted had happened and she was very contented.
78
I remember with great nostalgic love our first pub meeting, to which I had invited my son
Kerry and my accountant Colin, held in the Racehorse PH, the first of many such venues.
Daniel after completing his testimony, and circulating amongst his hearers suddenly declared, ‘I
am sorry I have blown it. I must start again!’ He may have been right, for several people
responded to his second invitation that night; most of whom were not invited guests but rather
pub regulars! At pub meetings around the city we met many people who listened to Daniel
Cozen’s testimony, urging the non-believers and the backsliders to make a firm commitment to
follow Christ. Some repented, others said that they felt no need to repent; some who
responded, thoughtfully decided that, commitment would mean giving up too much of their
former practices in life, or they were not convinced by what they had heard that salvation was a
reality, or they put off making a decision until later, when they were not leading such busy lives.
Over the period of the ‘Brass Tacks’ mission approximately 100 people came to the Lord. I was
disappointed in the apparent lack of effort by members of St Matt’s congregation, in inviting
their non-born-again friends, loved ones and work-mates to the pub meetings.
At the final healing meeting in Holy Trinity Church, Daniel invited any to come forward who
could testify to what God had accomplished in their lives during this mission. The man for
whom I had the word of knowledge at the first healing meeting was the first to the platform. He
explained that he had been a non-believer who had attended the earlier service only to
accompany his wife not seeking relief from the complaint of migraine that had repeatedly
hospitalised him and salvation was far from his mind. Mike Brothers was a sergeant-major in
the army; his medical officers after years of treatment could do nothing further to relieve his
depression. It was possible he would be discharged from the army because of his health, but
he had been fully and wonderfully healed and now saved. 12 Whilst Mike was giving his
testimony of healing and salvation, a minister friend of mine, Ray Smith, who was trying to
quieten an obviously drunken man, called me over to help him. The man Ray was struggling
with was about 1.9m tall and heavily tattooed with close cropped hair and aged about 50. As I
put my hands on this drunken man, he totally sobered up and fell sobbing into my arms. He
told me that he had previously followed Jesus and had fallen away. He had allowed Satan to
steal away the security of his salvation. He had earlier that day been released from prison and
had unwisely taken a drink rather than having a meal. I was given a word of wisdom that he
was a believer who had not been able to live up to people’s perception of God’s calling on his
life and had fallen away in his own sight, but he was now experiencing a new surge of God’s
infilling. As I took him forward for a ministerial blessing from Daniel, I was able to reassure him
that as he had genuinely repented he was totally forgiven. I was greatly rewarded spiritually by
A fellow worker, Cath Taylor told me some weeks later that Mike Brothers, who had received both his
healing and his salvation through the word of knowledge I had given directly to him at Holy Trinity Church
had been baptised by full immersion, I was thrilled for him and my part in his conversion.
12
A Time of Testing and Reflection
79
the gifts of the Holy Spirit as I stepped out in faithful obedience. The Spirit has remained within
me and filled me with more confidence each time I have been emboldened to ask for His power
to be demonstrated in my life. I shall never forget this mission, because I believe it was the last
time my first born son Kerry heard the gospel message and he heard it in the Corner House
pub with me at his elbow.
Following the Brass Tacks Mission Daniel invited me to join him and some of his friends in
full-time ministry on a three day retreat at the Masters Retreat Centre not far from Ely. It was
here that I met Daniel’s associate evangelist partner, Peter Adams, who invited me to join a the
TFM team taking part in ‘Reachout ‘88’, a two week in length mission to Huntingdon and
Godmanchester, commencing a few weeks later. Some of Daniel’s guests visited the local
village pub on our last evening together. The Rev Rick Gates became very ill with a stomach
problem during the night. Despite the laying on of hands and much prayer his condition
deteriorated. Rick returned home before lunch of our final session. In the confusion of
collecting his things together, Rick accidentally took my sweater home with him. I telephoned
him the following day to tell him that I had received a word of knowledge, (that he had a
perforated stomach wall and impurities were being secreted into sensitive areas of his
abdomen) that if he wore my sweater for a whole day and sought his healing in faith, he would
be healed. He replied:- ‘I am wearing it now, and I will continue to wear it through the day.’
The following week I received my sweater back with a note of gratitude to me, praising Jesus
for his healing!
I was pleased to be invited by Geoff Johnny (a friend from bible college days) to help him
on a pre-mission scouting assignment. Geoff had been entrusted with the task of arranging
some pub meetings that were to be a major part of Reachout ‘88’. Eighteen out of 22 possible
local churches participated in this interdenominational mission. On September 10 th 1988, at
midday, I was driving through the town of Sandy in Bedfordshire. At precisely the spot on the
road where I had been badly shaken in a car smash some months earlier, I received a vision of
an angel! He appeared as a kite or a balloon hovering over the houses and as big as the
houses. The angel was dressed in a policeman’s uniform and helmet, but appeared to be cut
off at the waist. I was obviously being shown something of significance, but I received no word
of knowledge by way of explanation. On the Saturday afternoon the ‘Reachout ‘88’ mission
members assembled for our opening prayer time, when the strategy of the mission was
outlined to us. At this, the first of our daily prayer meetings, I was reminded of the earlier vision
of the policeman. My understanding was that as good citizens who respect and follow the
advice of policemen, all team members should recognise the authority given to Daniel and his
close aides, by accepting our servant roles throughout the mission and tackling any tasks given
to us, uncomplainingly and willingly.
At the evening commissioning service, it was impressed upon me that someone in that
congregation felt themselves condemned as a murderer and had no assurance of their
salvation. Daniel asked me whether I thought he should in this very traditional Anglican Church
publicly announce the contents of this word of knowledge. I was positive that he should,
because the person was so depressed that it would be unlikely that he would attend any further
mission meetings (I knew instinctively that the person was suicidal and the Lord wanted to
intervene). Daniel took authority and did announce the details. Halfway through our two week
mission, as Daniel was driving me back to my hosts’ home, unprompted he told me that a man
had responded to the appeal. This gentleman had assumed that his wife was ‘crying wolf’,
when complaining for the umpteenth time of heart problems. This tortured man was prepared to
The Lord is My Shepherd
carry to the grave the knowledge that he had decided in his wisdom not to call the doctor out
late at night. The following morning, his wife lay dead in bed beside him. He found it difficult to
cope with the guilt he felt, but Daniel was able to give him a comforting and reassuring word.
80
Andrew Whitman, the minister of the Silver Street Baptist Church, chaired the group of
churches during the mission. We became good friends and since the mission I have visited his
church to give testimony. I did tell him that he would be relocating his church to larger
premises, but he ought to retain his present church premises, as I sensed a special ministry
working to the community from there. That prophecy was fulfilled very quickly and I understand
that the smaller church is now used for services by the Salvation Army. One vision I recall
sharing with Andrew was of a fishing net being cast over the whole area, which was then drawn
in over Andrew’s Church. I have often seen European fishermen working on the beach in a
similar fashion, with perhaps half a dozen men heaving on the ropes at each end of the beach,
gradually pulling the heavy net further up the beach and drawing closer together into one
group, as the dragnet is finally pulled clear of the sea onto the sand, when they can then share
the catch. I am sure that my reader can see the significance of the vision for themselves. The
net became in appearance a string bag filled with people. The strands of the net did not seem
particularly strong on their own, but woven together (through united prayer and support), they
had strength, meaning and purpose and collectively they made up the participating churches of
the area. I prophesied over Andrew that he would become the leader of the Huntingdon area
fraternity that would look to him for guidance and support. I made Andrew a present of a string
bag as a permanent reminder and suggested that the churches, who had supported this
mission, should continue to meet regularly in the future, to reinforce relationship made during
the mission.13
One touch of comedy I remember is of the night that guitarist Geoff Twigg and I ministered
and testified to the inmates of Little Hey Prison. This was the first occasion that I had testified
to my faith in a prison. We had given a gospel message and I had given my testimony, an
invitation was issued for the men to come forward for prayer. Some had risen to their feet in
response to the appeal, when suddenly a siren sounded. A prisoner had escaped! The
wardens came in and marched all our listeners back to their cells! Some month’s later
evangelist Bob Hurley told me that he had recently accompanied Daniel over to Little Hey
Prison when five people gave their hearts to the Lord; I am sure our earlier visit had been
helpful. Throughout ‘Reachout ‘88’ I felt especially blessed. I received many words of
knowledge, some leading to healing and deliverance and some to recommitment. The Lord
Jesus was right there with us and answering calls made in and through His name. The figure
estimated to fund the mission was £6,000. Daniel was praying for 1,000 converts. Ervin
Dorschler, a musician and evangelist believed that the churches would not be able to welcome
that many converts amongst them without a great deal of difficulty. One year later I was told by
Andrew Whitman that only about 30 converts from the original 140 who had come forward were
still attending any of the churches, six converts remaining faithful to his own church. .St Matt’s
own mission in July 1989 saw Edna Clarke (since gone to be with the Lord), Sid Mutcher and
Chris Whitby’s brother John, who recognised and accepted the Lord and His salvation,
because of His atoning sacrifice. Such good news! Whilst David Joy will never forget knocking
With the advent of the ‘Toronto blessing’ Andrew organised the ministers of many denominations
coming together for monthly meeting, to pray for each other’s ministry and share fellowship. Some time
later Andrew left the Baptist denomination to lead an independent thriving non-denominational church in
Eastbourne.
13
A Time of Testing and Reflection
81
on Caroline Walker’s door, and the response he got there. Caroline could not wait to be given a
personal invitation to attend church! I will never forget my own part in the laying on of hands
and seeing Sid healed from a back complaint and John healed from throat cancer. Daniel
Cozens spoke at our pub night in the Cambridge Blue PH and also at our closing guest night
service.
When Daniel Cozens first shared privately with me his vision of 1000 men from all walks of
life, hiking through the Pennine Way, and at the end of each days walk visiting a nearby
hamlet, village or town to share the Good News of Jesus Christ, my imagination was fired. One
day in February 1989 Daniel met me by arrangement at the Bible College; and over lunch at
the White Hart at Fulbourn we discussed the ramifications of Daniel’s vision. Because of my
study commitments I didn’t feel I could be involved in the planning, which would have to start
as soon as he had received the approval of his prayer partners. Daniel had invited me to
consider joining TFM full-time, but I did not want to give up my businesses now that I was out of
the bank’s clutches, and I was aware of my need to pay the Inland Revenue £7,500 annually
for a few more years. There is much I could write, about those days, and my personal ambition;
but I have devoted the next chapter to the outcome of the early conversations on pub
evangelism. I learned so much from Daniel, he was an inspiration to me and to all the people
who later ‘signed up’ to take part in the evangelistic walks across Britain.
Daniel was keen to share his vision with his TFM prayer partners as soon as practicable. A
prayer partner’s Conference was held on Saturday November 11 th 1989 at Cottenham Village
College, Daniel revealed his vision to the 100 or so attending. We were reminded of the vision
that Jean Darnel had received many years earlier, of the backbone of England being lit up, (the
backbone being the Pennine way). Many other prophecies and visions were attested to by
those present. The dividing wall between East and West Germany had just fallen, which added
to the heady atmosphere. The prayer partners gave their assent and promised support for ‘The
Walk’. Daniel’s diary was pretty full in 1990, and the walk was scheduled to take place May11 th
-June 2nd 1991
The administration of such an undertaking was formidable and it needed extra staff to cope
with the volume of work that ‘The Walk’ would entail. Trevor Hames, a solicitor from Hastings,
joined the full-time team of TFM on May 1st 1990 and came to live at my home for a few weeks,
whilst he searched for a permanent home. A month or so later Trevor collected me and my
family from Gatwick Airport on our return from a holiday abroad. He informed me that the first
training day was to take place in Colchester, the following Saturday. Approximately 60 people
attended this first of the training days, which was a very thorough in-depth training time that
included practical pub evangelism and door-knocking on a nearby estate.
I was invited to train the would-be evangelists living in or around Cambridge who had
decided to join the TFM team with a view to welding ourselves into a corporate and self
supportive body. As the area team leader I called a monthly prayer meeting and organised a
couple of venues, where the 20 or so men could practice publicly giving their testimony. On
one of these occasions Anglia TV filmed us evangelising in ‘The Man in the Moon’ PH
Cambridge, as part of a programme on the preparation for ‘The Walk’. I also took the team for
morning-long Saturday practice walks, eventually back-packing as we would have to do ‘insitu’.
A good spirit of camaraderie quickly developed amongst the group. Our meetings became
special times of sharing and have since been copied and improved upon all over the UK by
other groups.
The Lord is My Shepherd
In preparation for my first solo ministry tour, which happened to be in Brazil, Sylvia had
visited St Matt’s whilst on holiday in Cambridge, and invited me to speak to her church. Having
completed my training at Romsey House, and wanting to test my willingness to accept such
invitations I jumped at the opportunity. I had prepared four sermons over some weeks on
different topics, but Jesus then told me that I wasn’t to prepare sermons in advance; rather I
was to speak from my own experiences and conversion, unless I was specifically asked to
speak on a particular passage. I was apprehensive of the task and felt quite vulnerable, but I
knew I had to smile at every face in the listening congregation. For many years I had received
visions and prophecy concerning the last days that the world is entering into, urging me to call
out to my listeners, that mankind was living in the final days preceding the Second Coming. My
understanding was that Christ would return during my lifetime. It was the unfolding of this
compelling, if disagreeable message to some hearers that I delivered in Brazil and which
caused many to repent of their ways and turn to Christ. Essentially the message I gave was
that today was not only the time to prepare the way of the Lord, but also time (for believers) to
prepare one’s heart by repenting of areas of one’s conduct that every believer knew to be
ungodly, and to challenge my hearers to reach out to their unsaved family and friends. No
individual is saved by blaming the worldliness of their nation’s leadership or the doctrine of their
church denomination for their personal discipleship. Despite persecution or mockery, each
disciple must live a righteous and holy life, even if called to forfeit that life. I was under
compulsion to preach this word of warning to every church I ministered into. I travelled to Brazil
during October/November for five weeks of holidaying and preaching; where the signs and
wonders following my testimony and teaching were quite extraordinary. I assume that as in
humility I was totally reliant on the Holy Spirit, He was better able to use me. The worst aspect
of my time in Brazil was that I did not speak any Portuguese. I could not read a newspaper or
understand the TV programmes and most of my conversations were in pigeon English. My
inability to speak Portuguese was not a problem whilst preaching, as I delivered through an
interpreter.
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I was met at the airport on the Saturday I arrived by the Anglican vicar who ministered at
the Cathedral of Rio de Janeiro, with whom I initially stayed. I was enthralled on walking on to
the balcony from my bedroom to see the Statue of Christ that dominates this city, so close to
the Cathedral. I preached at the Cathedral in the morning, after lunch we gave communion at
an old people’s home and then I preached at a nearby Anglican church. I felt very tired after my
long flight and the day’s activities already completed, but then my host drove me to the church
of Sylvia, the woman who had invited me to speak to her church whilst on holiday in
Cambridge, who quite naturally wanted to be my host. I did feel uncomfortable explaining this
to my English host family, who had treated me as one of their own family, but I was certain that
I should stay with native people wherever possible. This decision is one I have followed ever
since when travelling abroad.
An expectant packed Bethesda AOG Church in Sâo Goncalo (a district of Rio de Janeiro)
having a congregation of between 300-400 listened intently. I was amazed to see that half of
the faces in the congregation appeared to be glowing brightly, whilst the faces of the other half
seemed strangely darkened. I received a word of knowledge that the darkened faces were of
those possessed of demonic spirits who needed deliverance and cleansing from oppression.
After the sermon the pastor Edeno Fonseca, himself a crusading evangelist, invited those who
wanted a touch from God to come forward into the area in front of the platform, where I would
pray for them, whilst the musicians played. The Holy Spirit impressed upon those He had
compelled to attend and impelled to respond to the message given through me. I moved from
A Time of Testing and Reflection
83
the platform into the auditorium and was engulfed by people, may of whom on coming forward
for prayer, fell, ‘slain in the spirit’, and on recovering, lay laughing or weeping and rocking on
the floor in front of me, even before I laid hands on them. Mothers brought their sick children
forward for me to pray over. Some from the congregation had demons cast out from them,
others entered into a deeper commitment to God. It was after midnight before I finished praying
for all those who sought prayer.14
During this time the congregation who had not been prayed with, or who had returned to
their seats, were singing lustily and reverently, whilst tears coursed down their cheeks. The
service started at 7.00 p.m and we were still worshipping at 10.30 p.m. This particular service
has proven to be the high point of my ministry to date. My interpreter told me that many people
had been healed this night and others made a first time commitment to God. I heard of many
people coming to the Lord at other services where I preached. There were other miracles of
healing and deliverance which I took to be confirmation; a sign of the revealed truth, of the
imminent return of the Lord Jesus given to me by the Holy Spirit. Pastor Fonseca was so
moved by the demonstration of Holy Spirit power at his church that he asked me to return in the
following year to take part in a crusade with him into the jungle area of Manaus. I was on cloud
nine, following my time in Brazil, my ministry was developing in a way that excited me. What
could go wrong? Unfortunately I have no diary of the names, dates and places of my visit,
which I remember quite vividly, but this doesn’t include much other than the spiritual content,
despite my certainty that I was visiting in the power of the Holy Spirit. There were times when I
was vulnerable to loss of possessions, and even my life, but I knew that I was especially
protected. I had hoped that Paul Freston, a missionary member of St Matt’s who had been a
lecturer at the university in St Paulo for many years, with whose family I stayed for a couple of
nights, would be able to accompany me to some venues, but fortunately it was not possible,
which led me to completely rely on the Lord when not addressing congregations, for I had no
control over the timing or disruption of pre-determined events, or my safety. This tour was my
induction to serving Christ in a land where my safety and consideration was of little merit to the
people I would encounter. On the evening of my return to Rio Sylvia had arranged to collect me
from the coach station, take me to her home for a meal, and deliver me to another church, the
largest AOG assembly in Rio, where I was to speak that evening. Two leaders of the Full
Gospel Businessmen’s Fellowship International (FGBMFI) invited me to speak at the Latin
American Convention in Foz Iguacu, but unfortunately the dates clashed with prearranged
bookings (I did visit this breath-taking place later). It would have been discourteous not to
accept overnight accommodation from Sylvia. She also held down a job and had an ageing
parent to take care of, but I chose to telephone my previous host to tell him I would not be
returning to his (very accommodating and inviting) home. I am sure from my background
history that anyone can sense that I prefer to stay in a private home of a church member rather
than the home of any clergymen. My English hosts were baffled by my decision, and as the
Archbishop of Canterbury had stayed in their home only a few weeks earlier, they probably felt
offended, but I knew I was being directed.
When the so called ‘Toronto Blessing’ of 1993 became known throughout the world, I could only nod
my head in agreement for I had experienced the Holy Spirit moving in power myself at this service in
Brazil. I knew with certainty that there was to be revival world-wide prior to the Lord’s return! It would not
impact everywhere at the same time, but its effects would ripple ever outwards, offering everyone the
world over the opportunity to turn and repent.
14
The Lord is My Shepherd
I returned to Sylvia’s home, having visited other destinations arranged for me to visit by
Paul, and my own desire to visit two holiday sites in the Amazon jungle Manaus and Cuiba,
where altogether I spent an exhilarating non-ministerial week. I also stayed at the home of an
acquaintance met when he stayed at our bed and breakfast home (El Shaddai), whose home
was in Forteleza, whose university and home church I spoke at. Paul had arranged for me to
spend a couple of nights in Brazillia with his pastor friends who really made the detour
worthwhile. I was taken everywhere, including visiting the Wycliffe Bible Translation College,
but I had no opportunity to preach whilst here.
84
I returned home on November 14th 1990. My son Kerry had married on September 1st 1990.
I had deep misgivings over the marriage which I articulated to them on their inviting us to the
celebration. They chose not to listen to my negative response to the proposition of their
marriage. I was being warned in advance of an impending tragedy to follow, it was this reason
that prompted me to telephone Kerry on December 3rd, to invite the newlyweds for a meal.
Kerry sounded low in spirit and said that he would confirm later. I asked to speak to his wife
Anne, but she declined to come to the phone. On the following morning, my daughter Kim
telephoned me, to tell me that Kerry had committed suicide during the previous night.
My daughter Kim telephoned me, to tell me that my son Kerry had committed suicide during
the previous night (only hours after I had spoken with him). I was overcome with grief over the
loss of my first born son; I suffered a great deal of heart searching and self-recrimination in my
grief. I wish he had shared his uncertainties candidly with me; for he was aware that I
counselled Christians who had problems. I presumed that he would have been embarrassed
seeking counselling from me his father, for he had never shared his innermost thoughts and
fears, with me. On reflection I saw a similarity to my own life and probably the circumstances of
my father, in that Kerry had had not thought of marriage counselling. Perhaps Kerry believed
he was beyond help or salvation, I will not know his confused thoughts this side of heaven.
Kerry had been subject to mood changes, which he could not explain and had lived through
earlier previously broken relationships, the last of which resulted in him sleeping in his van
throughout a particularly harsh winter.
I had spent some time attempting to persuade Kerry to reclaim his possessions, from his
former home including the tools of his trade as an electrician out of the house of the woman
who sought what she considered her due, having provided Kerry a marital home and wifely
companionship. My own life style had not been an exemplary example for Kerry to follow and
yet I had always known that I needed the supportive love of those I held dear to me. Was it
because of my bad parenting that Kerry had taken his own life? I had received a word of
knowledge that Kerry would die in the way that he had, for he had the ‘mark of Cain’ (a self
imposed curse) on him and I had steeled myself against his early death. I discussed with
Daniel Cozens this unwelcome revelation, but Daniel protested that I must have interpreted the
word of knowledge incorrectly, but I believe that Daniel was wrong.
I learned later that on the day of Kerry’s death, his wife of three months issued him with a
restraining order which denied Kerry access to his matrimonial home. Anne told him that
although she loved him, she could no longer continue to live with him until he could
demonstrate that he had changed his ‘wayward’ ways. Having been evicted from the house of
his former lover, a year or so previously, he could not cope with reliving the scenario of the
previous occasion. Once again someone he loved had rejected him because of his
unacceptable behaviour. The fact that I left my first wife in 1976, meant that for almost half of
A Time of Testing and Reflection
85
Kerry’s life I was not able to directly influence him. That did not stop me loving my son and
assisting him as often as I was able, but never with any lasting result. I found myself reliving
many earlier memories, some sad, some happy. I became convinced that I was not to blame;
Kerry took his life after several previous unsuccessful attempts. I visited the hospital morgue
and viewed Kerry’s lifeless body. I kissed him and prayed to God to watch over him. 15
It has been suggested to me, by well meaning friends, that alcohol had caused Kerry’s
death, that I must have been an alcoholic and that Kerry had inherited my sin. I must confess to
being a heavy drinker. I saw in Kerry the image of myself prior to my conversion. I had been
self-centred and wayward and Kerry, my first born son, was a ‘chip off the old block’. I reflected
that I had not set a good example for him to follow. With my father away at war, Mum was not
able give me the discipline I needed to accept correction given in love. Since becoming a
Christian I have been well aware that I had not been an exemplary example to my children of a
loving father. Mistakenly I never disciplined my children to any greater extent than I had been
subjected to.
Daniel had conducted the funeral service of my son Kerry at the Cambridge Crematorium
and had been very supportive before and during this stressful time. 16 In his address Daniel
made reference at the packed Crematorium funeral service to the fact that at one of the now
famous pub night meetings, Kerry had made a lasting impression on him, as he had listened
attentively and absorbed Daniel’s testimony. I had taken Kerry to three or four overtly
evangelistic meetings, but he had never gone forward to make a public commitment to Jesus. I
can only hope and pray that before his demise, he had made his peace with his Maker. Thank
God for the letters of many of our friends affirming their comforting love and prayers. I confess I
felt in tandem with King David in that I was able to worship God, despite my grief (2 Samuel Ch
12:13-23).
I shared with the fellowship at St Matts on Sunday evening, January 20 th, that following
Kerry’s funeral service Pauline and I had experienced a particularly dry spell, a real wilderness
experience. I had recently represented the Cambridge Green Party in the forthcoming byelection for Market Ward, the ward in which we live; I received a goodly number of votes, a fact
that caused the committee to consider me as a potential candidate to contest a parliamentary
I sensed God gently telling me not to ask for his life to be restored, for Kerry had now found rest. Some
years later a Christian friend revealed to me (through a word of knowledge) that Kerry would have
believed there had been no way out of his problems other than suicide and that the oppression that
covered Kerry’s life, died with him; I hold to a belief that Kerry’s salvation is assured. I have constantly
been drawn to the passage in Genesis Ch 18:25:- ‘Surely the judge of all the earth will do right.’ This
is the response I received from all those who wrote to me in sympathy.
16 Dad, who was born on the October 28th 1911, died on February 26th 1974 aged 63, and at his
crematorium service, as the curtains closed automatically and the coffin slid into the incinerator, Dad’s
brother George came from behind where I had been sitting. Uncle George drew the curtains together, as
a parent might do in a child’s bedroom, saying:- ‘Goodnight Alf, God bless, I will see you in the
morning.’ I was distraught at this simple homily being enacted out. Death is only a separation from our
former life, not annihilation (Isaiah Ch 26:19). Several years later at Kerry’s cremation service, I spoke the
same words as Uncle George had, but inserted Kerry’s name for Dad’s name, as I re-enacted my uncle’s
gesture. The difference between the two occasions was that in the intervening years I had become a
Christian and I had found the meaning to my life. I now knew that for the believer, death is only a process
leading to everlasting life.
15
The Lord is My Shepherd
seat in the 1991 General Election. I became convinced whilst on a delayed holiday to Portugal
over the Christmas/New Year (December 90-January 91), that I should lay aside my political
ambitions, and withdraw from the position of house group leader I had searched my heart,
rooting out bitterness, unforgiveness, wrong attitudes, motives and hidden agendas, and had
accepted God’s sovereignty.17 The flock at St Matts were aware that whilst he was the minister
at St Matt’s Sidney had acknowledged that I had received a ministry similar to that of Ezekiel
(Ch 2:3-21).
86
In my grief at Kerry’s death I had lost sight of these revealed truths and blamed God for my
distress, rather than praying for His strengthening to sustain me. I was directed to the passage
in scripture in which Nathan, the prophet, had told King David of his sin, which was to be
multiplied unto the kingly blood line, even though David was to be personally spared the
judgement that would overtake his kingdom in times of internal trouble (2 Samuel Ch 12,11-25).
Although I was not in the forefront of responsibility to the needs of the community/electorate of
Cambridge, I was being pared to the quick in order to make me more fruitful locally in my
endeavours for Christ.
Symbolically, just as I was bringing my confession to an end, the church clock (which
worked electronically automatically rewinding itself (which it does when at the bottom of its
weight chamber). The process was very noisy and continued for about a minute, denying
prayers until the clock was fully rewound. My vicar, Philip likened the mindset of my confession
to that of the church clock. His interpretation of what had just transpired was ‘that the clock
reflected my own natural desires and supported by extension what I had shared in my
anguish. The clock was always there, it could be relied upon; it was a man made item
and therefore liable to break down, for it is sensitive and vulnerable and needful of
At that time in Portugal the oranges were ripe on the trees and the orchards looked magnificent. The
harvested oranges were in abundance at the sides of the road in buckets and boxes, for sale to the
passers-by. However, on closer inspection some of the orange groves were not fruitful. Trees were
diseased and oranges had dropped to the ground. The gardeners were binding the trunks with a painted
protective material and spraying pesticides all over the trees. At the proper time the owners would thin out
their groves and prune the branches back hard, in order that the stricken trees would recover and
produce good fruit in future seasons. I believe God intends all humanity to go through times of testing, to
strengthen fortitude, resolve and character. God does not test humankind to destruction; rather He
tempers His children in the fires of adversity as a master blacksmith might harden steel. It was revealed
to me that I had been going through a similar time of pruning back, just as Paul had spoken of in 2
Corinthians Ch 12:1-10. I felt totally drained, like an orange sucked dry. I had given much time and
consideration to the members of the Christian community I had counselled. My involvement in other
people’s affairs seemed to drain my spirit dry. Listening to other people’s problems (they never seemed
aware of my own need of refreshment) sapped my strength. I was puzzled and hurt that I was taken for
granted by some Christian friends and disliked by others with whom I fellowshipped within the body of my
own church. I believe I was perilously close to ‘burn out’. I was wallowing in self pity. I was forgetting that
when I spoke the words given to me by God, I was only the messenger whose words were to bring glory
to God whether the message was encouraging and comforting or a warning to the recipient; perhaps I
made people feel uncomfortable. I had to repent of my feelings towards the community of saints, and
considered it a pure joy just to be used in God’s service. I was well aware that I worshipped a sovereign
God who was merciful; I found on reflection that I was able to praise Him in my despair. Whether I was
liked or disliked was immaterial and I should delight in my weakness and vulnerability, in the knowledge
that I was being used by the Lord because God had gifted me with a willing obedience to answer His
calling. I should not be resentful if people chose not to acknowledge any words of knowledge I might
offer.
17
A Time of Testing and Reflection
87
careful maintenance. However, because of our familiarity and acceptance of it’s
availability in our own lives, the mechanism is sometimes just taken for granted. My
mechanism was similar to that of the clock, except that my sensitivity could be deeply
hurt.’ Philip told me later that he had programmed the rewinding of the clock to happen each
Tuesday. He naturally assumed that the rewinding, on the Sunday, was due to midweek
failures in the electricity supply causing the weekend disruption, but Philip was open to the
possibility of the rewinding having occurred supernaturally!
I suffered a traffic accident on March 21st 1991, whilst I was calling on clients who bought
their dart supplies from me. It was reported on Radio Cambridgeshire the morning following my
accident:- ‘Mr Alf Droy, driving on the Haverhill to Bury road yesterday evening collided
head on with a mobile crane. He was cut free from the wreckage of his car and taken by
ambulance to Bury St Edmunds Hospital. He was found on examination to have a
fractured rib and minor bruising and was discharged later that evening.’
Following this radio report, a friend, Charlie Bryan, who moves in the gifts of the Holy Spirit,
telephoned me. On my confirming to him that I had previously written off a car (again not my
fault and with no personal injury), he suggested to me that Satan wanted to kill me. He believed
a demon had been able to get into my body through the shock and fear at the time of the
previous accident in December 1985. To the sceptic I am sure such speculation may sound
bizarre, but my son Kerry had taken his life in a motor car, giving this apparently bizarre
statement some credibility to my belief. There are some mysteries which are unfathomable and
beyond human understanding.
The oncoming lorry was travelling fast and seemed massive in my headlights. Because the
lorry was very wide, it straddled the double white lines which marked the centre of the road.
The driver responded too slowly to the warning of my flashing headlights, I tried to mount the
curb but my car was at the wrong angle. The mobile crane crushed the driver’s side of my
stationary car, mangling metal and glass. The central post between the front and back doors,
buckled into my rib cage, as the 23 tons of metal ground to a halt, kissing my cheek. The frame
of my spectacles was twisted by the force of the collision and a blood graze appeared on my
right cheekbone. Another 25mm and my face would have been in need of structural surgery,
assuming I had survived the experience. I know that no one can prolong their life by a single
day; all our days are numbered and should be precious to us. I still remember the excruciating
pain I felt, when my rib snapped, followed by the total silence as the crane’s engine was
switched off. I heard the slamming of the lorry’s door and the sound of the driver’s running feet,
as he hastened to see if I was still alive.
The firemen arrived to cut me free from the tangled wreckage about an hour later. Despite
the pain and the shock, I did not lose consciousness. I was taken by ambulance to the Bury St
Edmunds General Hospital, where in order that an accident report could be filled in, I was
interviewed by police. All of which would have been very stressful if I had not been so dazed.
The lorry driver and his vehicle were unscathed. Chedburgh Village is a notorious local black
spot for accidents. Many accidents have occurred on this 5.8m wide stretch of road which, if
the road was being built to modern day specification, would be 7.3m wide. The kerbstone on
both sides of the road had been cemented in position 150mm proud of the road surface,
making it impossible from the angle of approach of my car to mount the kerb. The kerbs were
so elevated because Suffolk County Council had not found the finances (due to cut backs in
maintenance costs) to resurface the road. Having scarified the road and put the new kerb
The Lord is My Shepherd
stones in place, the proposed improvement was delayed; another case of cost cutting perhaps
having fatal consequences.
88
I have now faced death and I can honestly say that I had felt no fear. I now know the
meaning of the biblical statement in Matthew Ch 10:39:- ‘Whoever finds his life (in Christ)
will lose his former life and will find eternal life.’ (paraphrased) I believe that Jesus was
speaking of believers in both parts of this verse. That the statement is simply stating:-‘He who
seeks (Christ and His Kingdom) will find it.’ I paraphrase John Ch 12:25:-‘The man who
loves his (earthly ungodly) life will lose it, whilst the man who hates the conditions
surrounding life in this world will keep it’. (Such a man will receive his eternal life and
escape from the flames) I believe that this verse has a hidden meaning for ‘believers in Christ’,
who continually seek for salvation by works (such as Jews and Catholics). For just as Jesus
said, it is only as we physically die that we enter His glory, but if we consciously give our life
over to the Lord, we die to self spiritually. Our lifespan will not end one second before the time
appointed by God, nor will it be extended by any effort on our part. I praise the Lord for my
preservation. Death is not a matter of fate, but of the completion of the lifespan assigned to us.
Satan cannot kill the soul of anyone, let alone the soul of an overcomer. Satan does dominate
the natural life of non-believers with the fear of death, but not that of a conquering Christian for
death is only a process leading to eternal life. In John Ch 12:23 Jesus said:-“Now is the time
come, for the Son of Man to be glorified.” At which time Christ was prepared to lay down His
life. I believe He was advising believers that He had overcome death, by withdrawing its sting.
Following my car accident Daniel visited me as I was convalescing, to pray for a quick
recovery. He was insistent that I still took part in the mission, if in my heart I still wanted to be
involved. On my confirming my desire to be part of the team, he dreamed up a new category of
helpers; ‘Walk Associates’. Daniel decided that I would be the only chauffeur-driven walker on
the team! He entrusted my well-being to one of his personal friends, Fred Garner, and gave us
a freelance but spiritual commission to act as a support service to the walkers. Once Daniel’s
campaign committee had realised our role was effective, further ‘Walk Associates’ were
appointed even during the second week of the campaign. Women evangelists have since
become Walk associates, fulfilling an primary link in the chain of ministry and has become an
integral part of Daniel’s mission requirements of ‘back up’. Fred and I acted as the first gobetween to the mobile HQ, the centurions and the teams assigned to minister under them. We
also liaised with the host churches and visited those who had come forward at meetings who
required a follow-up visit.
Early one Saturday morning in April 1991 Daniel drove me to Blackburn Cathedral, where
he was holding a national ‘Walk’ rally to enlist further support and increase expectancy of a
national revival of the Christian faith. During the journey Daniel shared that he was greatly
troubled at the news of his father’s admission to hospital, seriously ill and not likely to recover. I
asked Daniel if he intended starting a TFM school of evangelism. He was dumbfounded for this
project was on his heart, and he had received favourable assent from various friends who were
Bishops (this school has become a reality). At the rally several men spoke of encouraging
visions and prophecies concerning the walk. I gave testimony from the cathedral podium that
following my recent car accident, I had been receiving treatment from a physiotherapist, who on
the previous day had ‘clicked’ five of my vertebrae back into place which were out of joint. As I
had not been suffering any undue pain, I had assumed my body was healing quite naturally. I
sensed that I was being given a word of wisdom that the Church in Britain was like my body, it
appeared to be working efficiently on the outside, but on the inside there were many things out
A Time of Testing and Reflection
89
of place. I compared the Church with the government of our land, which had not faced up to the
problems of racial integration of all the immigrants from the former Commonwealth, many of
whom were second generation children born in this country. Many of these families continued
their worship of foreign gods as their ancestors had done for centuries. The Church should not
wring its hands in despair at the problem, but face up to it and take the gospel to the nation.
Many other ‘walkers’ testified and prophesied encouraging words to the assembly gathered
from all parts of Britain. Daniel dropped me at home late into Saturday evening, when we
shared a final time of prayer. Daniel was visiting his father on the following day, perhaps for the
last time. We prayed over Daniel’s concern that his father had never accepted Jesus into his
life. It was at this time that I prophesied over Daniel that his father would accept Jesus as his
saviour and what was more, he would recover and be discharged from hospital and witness to
his wife.
Over dinner at our home a week or two later, whilst Daniel was recounting the miraculous
events surrounding his father’s return to health and acceptance of Jesus, I felt compelled to
ask Daniel if his father’s wife was his mother. He was surprised at my question, but knew that I
often received words of knowledge. He confirmed that I had assumed correctly, but was
inquisitive as to how I had discerned this. I reminded him of our last prayer time, on returning
home from Blackburn, when I had prophesied over him. I had not referred to his father’s wife as
Daniel’s mum, but as ‘the wife of his father’. There have been other supernatural occurrences
during my long friendship with Daniel, but much of our conversations have been personal and
private. Daniel jokingly repeats that I receive more pictures than the Tate Gallery! The TFM
prayer partners meeting held for the first time outside of London, in a marquee erected on the
lawn of Daniel’s home at Coton. Daniel had previously telephoned me to ask me if I could
provide overnight accommodation for one of his prayer partners whom he would introduce to
me at the meeting. This young lady was suffering with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), and her
condition was not getting any better. After the conference I took this attractive young lady to our
home. Through a word of knowledge I knew she was greatly troubled. A further prompting by
the Holy Spirit revealed to me that she had acquired an abortion! Whilst we were sharing a pot
of tea, I pondered how best to tell her that I knew what was causing her sickness, for she had
not asked for counselling or healing. Having made some polite conversation I finally asked her
outright whether she had ever been accosted walking between her church and home at night.
That opened the floodgate! She replied: ‘Yes, I have been. I was raped and became
pregnant and I had an abortion. If it happened again I would take the same action!’ I was
taken aback by her vehement outburst. Through a word of wisdom I knew that she had not only
to forgive her assailant but seek the forgiveness of her unborn child. I would love to know if she
received her healing, but I have not heard from her since that night she stayed at our home. 18
Only 442 evangelists took part in the first walk of 1,000 men. Many people offered
themselves for two or even the complete three weeks. Several of the walkers were without
employment and many others took unpaid holiday. Many could not afford the expenses of
I remember that on two other separate but similar occasions, the Lord gave me revelation that He
would use my faith to heal two men both suffering with incurable ME. The symptoms are muscular
fatigue, painful joints and loss of memory, thought to be brought into the immune system by a virus. I told
the wives of both men, that I was to sleep for a week on pillowcases that their respective husbands
normally slept on. On the return and use of the pillowcases, their husbands would be healed.
Unfortunately my words of knowledge were not believed and as far as I know, the two men are still
suffering in their sickness.
18
The Lord is My Shepherd
transportation or hiking clothing and were given bursaries from their churches, or individual
gifts from friends. A member from my own church had given me the full cost of my purchasing a
back-pack, wet weather clothing etc, amounting to almost £300. Colleagues testified that they
had received generously from their home churches. Our churches prayed for us on all
occasions and a daily phone hotline to the TFM office, kept our loved ones at home abreast of
developments. We were divided up into 42 teams and walked and witnessed through seven
Anglican Dioceses. Six bishops gave their support for The Walk but initially Bishop David
Jenkins withheld his approval. He did however, later change his mind. Over 200 churches
adopted TFM and shared the vision. Methodists, Pentecostals, Baptist and Independent
churches supported and welcomed us all into their midst. Many walkers slept in their sleeping
bags on parish room floors, but nobody went hungry, even on ‘Open Fields’ assignments.
‘Open Fields’ meant that churches were offering only minimal support to the teams. Walkers
were encouraged to take only £3.00 a day to enable them to buy a drink for another person in a
pub, where they would later be assigned to. Fred and I slept overnight at Fred’s house, as he
lived so near to West Auckland where we were assigned to minister over the first two days. Our
first commission was best remembered by someone from the church saying to us ‘But you are
no better at evangelism than we are!’ We agreed with him.
90
I did fear for Daniel’s safety on the Sunday evening on his addressing an audience in a
working man’s club from the centre of the room. Daniel is 1.90m tall and well built. A man
150mm shorter but of similar weight, left the bar and marched belligerently up close to Daniel
(who was speaking from the centre of the main auditorium). From a toe to toe, eyeball to
eyeball situation and in an aggressive attitude, with hands on his hips the man asked: ‘Who
are you and what are you doing here?’ Daniel hardly paused, ‘My name is Daniel Cozens
and I am an evangelist bringing the good news of the gospel.’ The man held out his hand
and said, ‘Put it there pal, good luck to you.’ Daniel thanked him and continued addressing
his audience without a pause. The man turned on his heels and walked back to the bar. I was
praying very hard, for I thought the man may have been contemplating head-butting Daniel! It
would have been very daunting for any of the rest of us to handle the situation as well as Daniel
did. As we left this area on the Monday, the church was making plans for a follow up mission
that they themselves would organise. On the first Sunday (May 12 th), Daniel was relieved to
hear that the town of Newbottle had agreed to take two teams on an ‘open fields’ basis.
Bearing in mind that each team member only had a limited amount of money it was an
opportunity for all to live by faith for a short time.
My day usually commenced with Bible readings from about 5.30 a.m, which was my normal
routine at home. Most nights I got to bed at midnight, which was very late for me! Every second
day the teams of walkers met at about 9.30 a.m for prayer, Bible study and to plan out the
day’s campaign. Fred’s routine was melded with my own. Walkers were expected to join one of
the teams in order to cement team work. On the days either side of the village or town being
visited, the teams were ferried to the hills, for a 10.00 a.m start for ‘The Walk’, which might be
eight miles or it might be as much as ten miles. This journey would be undertaken with full back
packs, as each man carried his own clothing and bedding everywhere with him. Each of these
days usually meant walking until 5.00 p.m and then being shuttled off in one direction or
another in cars, to member’s homes of hosting churches, for a wash, a change of clothes and
some food, prior to meeting up with the team for corporate pub evangelism in the evening.
Many hosts provided bedrooms as well as food although quite often the teams chose to stick
together and slept on the floor in church rooms. Fred and I developed a relationship between
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91
HQ and team leaders, which proved to be critical to the success of the mission as the leaders
often felt isolated and separated from what was going on in the field.
There were the usual arrangements made for coffee mornings and Bible study, visits to
schools, youth clubs and old people’s homes, factories and hospitals. Some of the team were
over-awed at the level of authority they were entrusted with. Extremes of boldness and timidity
through witnessing, together with a willingness to support, but occasionally a reluctance, to be
available to testify or preach were much in evidence depending on the charisma of the walker.
There was much euphoria when someone shared a high experience and much selfrecrimination when someone told of an opportunity that was not capitalised on. Strong men
cried and opened their hearts up to their Lord and to other members of their team, often in
anguish at their own failings as they committed themselves afresh to rely on God’s strength
and provision during their mission.
On May 14th, during the evening Fred and I took part in a service of praise. Our
administration team from HQ (which incidentally coped extremely well with all the hitches,
misfortunes, injuries, media interviews, transportation of men and materials and dozens of
other things), also joined the team we were working with, for a service of worship in
Langwathby in a barn on a farmyard, filled to overflowing with local residents. We sat on straw
bales and our singing was accompanied by an electric keyboard. Several of those attending
came forward for healing. A word of knowledge told me that the church warden was troubled,
concerning his own salvation. Later that evening he gave his heart to the Lord. Obviously, no
human can know how effective any meeting has been, from the perspective of heaven. Quite
often a meeting in a pub or a barn might be just one of a series of experiences each of us has
to go through, before acknowledging our need for a saviour. Many healings have been attested
to since the mission was completed.
A service was held in the Bull Hotel at Sedberg on May 16 th, I was working with a different
team. Some of our hearers went forward for healing, one seeker wanted baptism into the gifts
of the Holy Spirit, but there were no conversions. It would have been unrealistic to think that
there would be a great turning to God, particularly as most of the attendees were church
members, who did not even bring non-Christians, family or friends to these often impromptu
services. Many of the chapel and church leaders had never set foot in a pub before and were
like fish out of water. Many of the churches were not in renewal, let alone were they evangelical
or charismatic in their churchmanship. Most of the successes took place in one-to-one
situations, where people had the opportunity to share their fears with a man wearing a green
jersey with the TFM logo on it, identifying the man as a walker and a Christian who would listen
to burdened peoples’ problems.
It was on Friday May 17th at 2.00 p.m that Fred and I arrived as the advance party in Kirby
Lonsdale. The ‘Line up’ man (our local contact) was the Methodist minister who was away on
sabbatical leave. He had told a steward that eight men would be sleeping in the church room,
but had not mentioned a need for food nor even a programme which would involve the church.
There was an Anglican minister resident in the town who knew of the mission; he was much in
evidence by his absence. Naïvely the steward had agreed to take a second team on an ‘open
fields’ basis (as mentioned above, no programme or provision was expected to be provided by
the receiving church). Fred and I knocked on a few doors and spoke to one or two Christians
who responded sympathetically, some beds and a great deal of food was provided for the 20
something people from the teams that descended on this small town.
The Lord is My Shepherd
Sunday May 19th, following the Sunday morning service was changeover day at Ingleton,
just as chaotic as our initial arrival at Hexham and just as exciting. Many lasting friendships
were made and much merriment took place between us as we greeted our new colleagues
arriving on their respective coaches and said our goodbyes to friends who were returning home
for a happy reunion with their wives and families. People who would be forever changed and
who would take back to their churches a determination to put into practice the experiences they
had learned. I had prayed for Harold Gosling over his inadequacy in communicating his faith
with others, with who I had been out door knocking earlier that week. I met him at the departure
town when he excitedly told me that he had just led two ladies to Christ in the car park! Harold
will never be the same, he is a better equipped more fulfilled Christian. It was here that I was
introduced to my next chauffeur and partner Tim Atkins, an Anglican minister from Eastwood,
Nottingham, he was an example to me of non-judgementalism, a problem that beset me and
which I have found besets many believers.
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Tim had a totally different personality from Fred, but was equally as wise and willing to be
used in God’s service. Owing to the experiences I had encountered over the previous week,
Tim and I were able to iron out many problems and difficulties before they developed. This
understanding proved to be highly satisfactory, if very tiring. We had to be very adaptable and
quick on our feet, as our task was not only to follow up on those who had responded to the
invitation for prayer. We arranged venues and times where the teams would minister. We found
various pub venues, where publicans were pleased to take our beer mats. In every pub we
asked the landlord if we might make an announcement during the busy lunch hours,
introducing ourselves as Christians, after which we wanted to circulate among their customers
wearing our jerseys to identify ourselves. If the publican agreed to our proposals we advised
the centurions who allocated the men in pairs available to them to a venue in the town. Most
publicans were readily agreeable and proved to be very supportive.
Later that day Tim and I, together with Jeff Potter, the leader of Team 17, attended a prayer
meeting with the youth team from the Elim Church at Huddersfield, before we followed Peter
Hannam, the Elim Pentecostal Church pastor to his home where were to be accommodated for
the week. Ten years earlier Peter had ministered to a church of about 80 members, at the time
of ‘the Walk’ his congregation exceeded 150. The following morning we assisted the youth
team in their weekly street evangelism in the Piazza of the town’s shopping centre from 10.30
a.m until 2.00 p.m. The team distributed tracts, played music, did some sketch board
illustrations and opened up many conversations. The two street benches in the area where we
were working, which had fondly become known as the ‘salvation bench’ and ‘healing bench’
were well used this day. People who were carrying heavy shopping bags, or who just want to
rest their feet, found that friendly men wearing the now familiar sweatshirt with its distinctive
emblem were there to pass the time of day speaking with them. The local people were curious
why team members should be foregoing a holiday with their family, or taking time off from
business to support this mission, often at great personal sacrifice.
On our second day in Huddersfield, Tim and I addressed a ladies’ lunch meeting in a
church hall and later that day ministered alongside the teams of walkers. We also acted as a
liaison unit between Mike Stewart the centurion and three of the four teams working in
Huddersfield under Mike’s authority and two of the three local ‘line up’ men. We spent
practically the whole of Friday (our third day) between two old folks’ homes, cementing good
relationships between the wardens of the homes, their wards and the church ministers, who
were open to our suggestion of combined cross church Bible study to share the workload.
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On Thursday lunch time, accompanied by Russell Pope and David Newell, both part of the
Cambridge contingent of aspiring evangelists, I shouted over the voices of the clientele of the
County Hotel informing them of the purpose of our visit to Huddersfield. I asked if they would
include us men wearing the distinctive jerseys in their conversations and they should feel free
to ask why we were prepared to leave our families at home and forgo our own holiday in order
to share our time with them attesting to our faith. This intrusion on their lunch break gave us the
opportunity to circulate and talk to the customers. We each had a rewarding time. I will never
forget Tom and Lily Laughton 78 and 80 years of age, 57 years married, who I led to Christ
over their lunch!
Later that evening in a different pub, Robert Aston, one of the team, was talking to a
Rastafarian wearing an emblem to Heile Sellasie around his neck. At our prayer meeting the
following morning I asked Robert how he had coped in his conversation with this man. He told
me he was feeling very low and ineffective as an evangelist. To Robert’s chagrin the
Rastafarian argued his faith better than Robert could argue his. Worse was to come for later
that evening he had spoken to a spiritualist who had mocked him, in Robert’s own words,
playing with him, as if a fish on a hook. I found myself laying hands on Robert and prophesying
over him, as I had done with Harold Gosling the previous week. I prophesied that he had not
only been washed in the blood of Jesus, but that he had been anointed with a coating of
glazing, which would protect him like a shield from attack by confusion or frustration by Satan;
Robert was to be equipped with a special gifting in evangelism, with an ability to counter the
arguments of those adherents to other faiths and philosophers.
On the following day Robert told me excitedly that he had led an ex-Jehovah’s Witness to
Christ and for good measure a Sikh doctor from another town that just happened to be visiting
the Huddersfield General Hospital. Robert lives in the Birmingham area where he has had
many such opportunities to witness for the Lord to people of other faiths. Robert, like Harold,
will never forget the Lord’s provision at this time. I met Robert again on March 27 th 1993 at
Daniel’s Prayer Partners Conference. He told me that the Lord was regularly sending him to
people of other faiths and he is still able to convince them to accept Christ as the only true
God. He cannot understand his particular gifting because he does not feel especially anointed.
He is a businessman and his business has flourished since he has been emboldened to speak
of his faith, God has enlarged Robert’s ministry by allowing him to speak candidly to fellow
businessmen, of their need to worship the true God and not the God of Mammon.
During one evening Mission to a pub, Ian Hazell, a builder by trade, of the same team had
been used by Christ to heal a man of a badly injured leg; broken in three places, which entailed
him wearing a calliper at all times. Ian had told this man that if he accepted Jesus as his Lord
and Saviour he would be healed. The man told Ian that he had been thrown out of his marital
home and had unsuccessfully attempted suicide. He assented to repeat a sinner’s prayer; but
Ian did not know what to do next, but he offered up a simple hesitant prayer. They heard the
leg bones cracking and being reset, so Ian repeated the prayer with some urgency! The man
discarded his callipers and walked out of the pub saying he was going to try to restore his
marriage now that he had found faith. Ian later confessed that this had been the first occasion
he had received a word of knowledge! All teams were encouraged by many similar reports.
Pastor Mike Archer provided a buffet at The Swan PH in Longwood where Dave Edwards
was going to testify. Prior to Dave speaking, our walkers vacated the window seat, which was
fortunate as a concrete block was hurled through the window landing where they had been
The Lord is My Shepherd
sitting. It transpired that an alcoholic who was well known locally and who had been banned
from the pub had singled this pub out for attack on this particular night. No one had any doubt it
was the devil behind the attack. I visited The Swan the next evening, (to claim the ground for
Christ) and was aware of all the technicoloured pin-up shots of he-men, with over developed
muscles, wearing little or no clothing on their bodies. Our team were certainly working ‘outside
the city gates’. I had no opportunity to speak to the customers here, although from the emblem
on my jersey it was known that I was part of the team from the previous night’s visit. Those
people who were on their own became deeply engrossed in their newspapers, if I caught their
eye. Customers with companions did not respond to my cheery grin, striving fervently to
prevent their private conversation from lapsing into silence, in case I butted in!
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Some of our team were working in the Town Hall PH, a short distance from the Swan PH, I
joined them at the bar. Neil was a large and well-muscled lad with tattoos all over his body, and
had close cropped hair. He was mocking Keith Massey’s views of a sovereign God, in a loud,
but not unfriendly, way. He jeered ‘Why do you pay the landlord to lay on food, surely you
can multiply food by a miracle’. Keith (an Anglican minister) was Daniel’s ‘buddy’. I had a
word of knowledge that Neil had been ill for some time and that the doctor had not diagnosed
the cause. I told him that God had revealed this to me because God wanted to heal his
affliction. He confirmed that he had an ongoing illness and that his doctor had not been able to
relieve the symptoms. I said:- ‘We-ell, you obviously know that Jesus has more power than
His followers have, since His resurrection, through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives
within us, we have become Christ’s hands and His feet, but He is the one who
accomplishes the miracles. If you believe that He has the power to heal you, if He so
chose, then I will offer up a prayer asking the Lord Jesus to heal you, but you must
agree to my prayer by repeating ‘amen’ at the end of my prayer.’ Neil considered my offer
for a few seconds, whilst his friends jeered his embarrassment.. He threatened to do dire things
to them if they would not stop their mocking. He agreed it would be proof that God was alive
and still worked miracles if he was healed. He closed his eyes and said ‘Amen’ to the prayer I
offered. I was told later that Neil was at the Woolpack PH the following night to hear more
about this Jesus .we all worshipped Although Neil didn’t attend our pre-arranged church service
on the Thursday evening, I was aware that Jesus had impacted his life.
I was glad to be in St Stephen’s Church praying with Dave’s team (Team 15) on the
Wednesday morning. Dave was feeling particularly crushed and bruised; indeed the whole
team were feeling low. Someone had a tongue of which I had received the interpretation. It was
in effect a command to relax and to paddle our feet in His healing waters, to take off our heavy
armour and to consider ourselves off duty for a while. We should all take time to listen to the
minstrels and be refreshed by the perfumed soaps of anointing. Following our time together, all
of the team affirmed their love and respect for Dave’s leadership and subsequent
developments became better and better, as all the team became overcomers, in their new
found confidence. Five years later members of this team still hold an annual get together.
Huddersfield is a cosmopolitan town with many Pakistani, West Indian and Asian residents
each national group having their own house of worship, a temple or mosque near to the town
centre. Many of these folks are second generation children and were born in the UK of
immigrant parents. Each group were open to the gospel and some have converted to
Christianity since arriving in Britain. Some of the team attended the mosque with Peter by prior
arrangement, and made good use of their time just speaking with the worshippers! Whilst
others from the team visited the polytechnic and accomplished some good work in the student
A Time of Testing and Reflection
95
bar, just sharing with students why they had chosen to visit Huddersfield sharing the gospel
with the students giving up time normally spent at home with their families. As barriers of
suspicion were broken down, a better relationship with pub landlords and their customers was
established and many doors were thrown open. My own views on indigenous evangelism have
had to be reviewed in view of the different and distinctive cultures that co-exist side by side, in
every town in Britain. Bridges need to be built and developed through friendly relationships
across the cultures.
Following our morning service on Sunday May 27th, we called for a healing line and many
people came forward for prayer and healing at which I officiated. I prayed for many people of
both sexes, young and old. A lady with cataracts responded to a word of knowledge I received,
that a miraculous healing of blind eyes was to take place. During the coach trip back to
Todmorden following this service, my hands were itching and red raw. This has occurred at
other times when the Lord has blessed me by healing someone through my hands. Several
months later when a couple from Huddersfield Church visited St Matt’s, it was recounted to me
that on the Sunday following the healing service, this lady had testified to her healing. She had
apparently had an admission to hospital arranged for an operation during the week following
the service at which I had received my word of knowledge, an operation that proved to be
unnecessary! Fred and I were given new partners during our week in Huddersfield, but we kept
in touch. (We later went on holidays abroad together and Fred has always been a welcome
visitor to our home.) The arrival of the coaches with new teams disgorging and the ‘old’ teams
boarding the buses was cheerfully shambolic! The changeover was by its very nature always
protracted and seemingly chaotic. Eventually, amongst all the milling throng I found my new
buddy, Howard Dawson an ex-farmer, a man with a pastor’s heart (probably due to his working
with sheep for so many years) who runs a Christian youth Hostel in Yorkshire. It had been
decided that Howard and as I should support Team 35, for the whole of this week.
Howard and I arrived at Deeplish in Rochdale at 7.10 p.m at St Luke’s Church, where I was
invited to explain to the congregation something of ‘the Walk’ and of my personal experiences.
The congregation knew full well all about ‘the Walk’, because David Widdows their minister,
together with Graham Watson a parishioner, had been walkers on Week 1 and were now the
‘line-out’ men on Week 3! Not only was this heartening to me, but additionally Howard had
been part of that team (Team 11, of which Jim Dalgleish from Sawston Free Church and was
converted at the Grapes PH in Cambridge during the ‘Brass Tacks’ mission was a member). I
felt so profoundly blessed! Later Jim entered full-time church ministry which really thrilled me.
Millie, Jim’s wife, has attended some of the home Bible studies that I conducted following the
‘Brass Tacks’ mission.
The Centurion assigned to oversee several groups of walkers was Graham Daniels and his
‘batman’ Johnny Cornwall. Graham’s duties were different from ours, the prayers of our team
and the preaching to the outreaches we arranged was Graham’s responsibility. On Monday
morning we drove over to the Hare and Hounds PH at Todmorden for 10.00 a.m to encourage
the teams as they set off on their first walk. We met our designated teams at the end of their 15
mile walk in the Dales in the White House PH car park in Littleborough, Rochdale at 4.00 p.m.
In between times Howard and I had driven over to Mixenden and Ovendon in order to do some
follow-up work that was still outstanding from Week 2.
The highlight of my day was leading David Smithers, a scientist and my host at dinner, to
the Lord. He had been attending church with his family for two years, but today he accepted
The Lord is My Shepherd
forgiveness and received eternal life as he repented of his former life on praying a sinner’s
prayer. He knew that by attending church regularly he had not been ‘born again’; his rational
head knowledge had percolated into his heart. He now experiences joy and peace. We met the
team at 7.00 p.m where we were assigned to pubs to which we would be working after dinner
that evening. I was assigned to be the main speaker at the Weavers PH and the supporting
team were: Alan Vince, Ron Melhuish and Peter Moore. The Weavers PH had been assigned
to us because it was recognised as the roughest and toughest pub in the locality. It was
generally believed by our colleagues that we were well equipped to handle the mission. I can
only remark that having grown up in a similar environment, I did not feel too uncomfortable.
Filthy language was commonplace; some of the records that the disc jockey played were
pornographic. The disc jockey made suggestive actions, accompanying the words of music (if
such a record could be called music). Most of the ladies in the audience laughed along with the
men folk at his antics, which really were quite appalling. There were three groups of ladies, one
group of which were the worse for drink and in high spirits. One inebriated lady from this group
continually interrupted Alan’s testimony with which he gamely continued. Following the time of
testimony and over a plate of sandwiches, both of the other groups gave me a fair hearing and
all these ladies admitted to be nominal Catholics who sometimes attended St John’s Church.
One young mother who had suffered severely from depression said she would come to the
Field House Cricket Club, where we would be conducting a healing service the following night.
Her mother, Gloria said she would come too. She further told me that she said her prayers
every night, even when she was drunk! She wasn’t drunk this night; she was drinking in what
our team were sharing with her. Gloria told me that she had not clearly heard Alan’s testimony,
I therefore asked him to repeat it to her party of five or six people. One of the ladies knew that
Jesus had been born by a miracle and that the Pope was the head of the Church that was
about the sum total of her knowledge from her Catholic upbringing.
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Peter Moore had been one of the soldiers caught in the Guildford bomb blast, (September
1974) in which five people had died and 35 had received wounds or had lost limbs. The
9kg (kilogram) bomb went off only 2m from Peter leaving him incapacitated with head injuries.
He had been a healthy physical training instructor whose fitness helped him through his
recovery. Peter was invalided out of the Royal Army securing a position as a school teacher,
following 15 years of suffering from depression (1974-1989) he found the Lord. He sat for most
of the evening amongst a crowd of men who were either playing pool or waiting their turn to
play. None of them made a commitment, but each one of them was polite and allowed us to
speak of our conversion experiences and beliefs in explaining why it was important to to us, to
forgo our own holiday time from our families to share our faith with them.
24th
Ron was sitting with a couple of guys, who had admired our ‘bottle’(boldness) in speaking
out publicly. They could not believe that we were not ‘begging for monetary support’. Two
separate conversations I did have showed that people do vaguely have a concept of eternal
life, perhaps through a series of reincarnations. One man said that Jesus was not divine, and
had died for his own sin and through fastidious obedience may well have since become sinless
and gone to ‘some other place’. I argued that if he really believed what he was saying, he must
surely believe that like Jesus, he was aiming to get to this special place. He replied that he
himself had a guardian angel, with which he swapped places in between reincarnations. There
was enough in our conversation for him to accept that there was a perfect place, somewhere
else, where sinless people will live and even that Jesus was a good example for us to follow,
but he would be drawn no further. Sometimes, we were verbally abused, but I didn’t hear of any
physical violence offered. I have written fully about this one pub meeting, only to show the kind
A Time of Testing and Reflection
97
of response we had received throughout the Pennine walk. From what has been taught of
Greek mythology and the deity of reincarnated Pharaohs, is still instilled into schoolchildren. It
is shameful that most school teachers today do not have a faith in Christ, which is because the
education authorities had ceased giving instruction on the upholding of Christian faith through
daily school assembly each morning to call for God’s blessing on the activities of each day’s. 19
Many conversations appeared unfruitful over each of the weeks and quite often we were
politely told that ‘I do not want to talk to you; particularly about your faith that you would
like us to embrace’ and sometimes their profanity in dismissal of our company and our
message was irresistible On many occasions to end the conversation our listeners would say
that they, ‘would attend the meeting on the following night’, or that they would think about
our conversation’, as we were summarily dismissed, or they rose from their chair to leave the
pub rather than prolong our directional conversation. On many occasions we were invited to
visit homes on the following day, only to have the door closed on us, when we arrived!
Presumably the person had second thoughts, having been under the influence of alcohol and
not God, when absorbing our delivery, or believed that we would not follow up on what
appeared to be a fruitful conversation. But sometimes we were invited into homes and
occasionally potential converts were led to a determined commitment. Invariably potential
reformers accepted our literature from our general meetings that was prominently on display on
our follow up visits. Many had decided to decide through our Biblical explanations to examine
the arguments for themselves. There were others who had attended some form of church and
been persecuted through dismissal of completely accepting the doctrine of the church that they
may have attended as children with their parents. I am sure my reader can hear my heart cry.
My heart aches for the people who have left their former church over a grievance, which was
never resolved, but led to them leaving not only their parish church, but church attendance
anywhere altogether. Someone has computed that during the course of the three weeks of this
mission, a total of 35,000-40,000 conversations would have taken place. Redeemed man
cannot know the fruiting that will follow any conversations, for that is the business of the Holy
Spirit, not of human kind. Believers do not chalk up successes, on hearing that peace and
sanity has been restored on hearing of a confession although being greatly encouraged by the
testimony of converts from whatever faith.
Throughout Tuesday I worked with Alan Vince once again. We went door knocking,
ostensibly to fill out the prepared questionnaires, but always looking for an opportunity to share
the gospel. Most of the houses in the four streets in which we worked were occupied by Sikhs,
Hindus, Muslims or Irish Catholic families. Where there were adults at home who were willing
to completely our questionnaire we completed the survey. Every adult who answered doors
were asked to complete an innocuous questionnaire as a means of gaining entry. I suggest
that less than 59% invited us in. Where the occupants were not at home, we dropped leaflets
Unfortunately after the trauma of World War II many couples who later became parents had rejected
Christianity, owing to the fact that Liberal Biblical scholarship that arose in the 1860’s onwards had been
taught to interns since Darwinism convinced a rebellious sectarian world of evolution and the GrafWellhausen fallacy discounted the belief that Moses wrote the Pentateuch and that these five books were
written by four authors. Most school curricula do not have a syllabus which includes Christian belief, other
than as a Westernised cultural philosophy, one of a variety and acceptable faiths. Teaching alternative
religions in schools an is bad enough, but to persist in teaching Darwin’s theory of evolution, supported by
Museums on an unsubstantiated theory is wicked, particularly as Darwin later came to accept that his
theory was flawed!
19
The Lord is My Shepherd
through the letterbox inviting them to the evening meeting as evidence of our visit. We were not
invited into any home where the occupants were of Indian or Asian extraction. A few Irish
Catholics at home who may have been on shift work or unemployed, although prepared to
complete the questionnaires at the doorstep, they were not interested in coming to any of our
meetings, nor did they want a visit to be made to them by the local Anglican Church. I have
wondered since my return home, why it is that the unemployed people were all British. All the
fathers of the immigrant families had a day job, explaining their absence. I am sure that in
fulfilling my evaluation of the church authorities reflects the Westerner’s malaise. One amusing
incident of this day was that I spoke on the doorstep to Debbie a Jehovah’s Witness and I
spoke to her about her muddled understanding of the Bible. It was the first time I had ever
confronted a Jehovah’s Witness at their own front door!
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Believers can be certain that the fires have been ignited throughout Great Britain through
this inspirational achievement. All of the participating evangelists were aware that nothing on
this scale had been attempted before, and that the walks could fashion future crusades, some
larger and some smaller and could encompass different imaginative expressions. All the
participants I spoke with said that they would welcome the opportunity to take part again in
future years. Through the regular prayer letters I receive I am aware that further evangelistic
walks of mission have occurred in various parts of Britain since and others nations over the
years. Many converts have become regular supporters of the walks. Daniel’s vision has
certainly produced prolific quality fruit throughout. Daniel’s ministry has been the longest
demonstrable witness of interdenominational evangelism in the history of Britain. I would put
the community support under Daniel’s leadership on par with the individual ministries of
Wesley’s and Whitfield, who walked and rode on horseback conducting open air regional
services throughout Britain more than 200 years ago. I took part in the walk Cornwall event that
followed in 1992, but only for one of the three week mission.
Chapter 5 - A Further Time of Testing and Reflection.
99
I become a volunteer to Michael Schleuter’s Jubilee Centre campaign to ‘keep Sunday
special’, based in Cambridge, whose organisation opposed Sunday sopping hours reform,
which run in tandem with the General Election. At no time did I believe the campaign had a
chance of success, but I was determined to oppose conglomerate supermarkets opening every
Sunday, with all the ramifications of the working hours of staff, who would be denied spending
this special seventh day with their families. Following the election outcome I resigned from the
programme committee of the Cambridge branch of the Young Men’s’ Christian Association
(YMCA) and that of Chairman of the Cambridgeshire branch of the Movement for Christian
Democracy. However I accepted the invitation to become the Vice Chairman of the Cambridge
Chapter of the Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship International (FGBMFI).
I contemplated my position both in society and the church. I had always coveted popularity,
but I realised that if I wanted to progress in my walk with God, I had to be prepared to be
misunderstood, unpopular and perhaps mocked or persecuted. I had been reviled by some folk
within the congregation in my own church that did not approve of my ordination as a lay
minister. I was hurting deeply, but my personal attitude needed to be renewed, in order to
become more available to God.20 If I really was crucified with Christ (Galatians Ch 2:20), then I
had to acknowledge His right of authority to decide how I could best serve Him (as any menial
servant should respond to being granted salvation, in accepting a calling without question, a
humility that is directed from heaven (Colossians Ch 1:15-27).
I had been part of an inaugural group of Church leaders that met monthly in the town of
Diss in Norfolk under the auspices of Tom Chipper, the pastor of the Isleham Baptist Church
(who went to be with his Lord in June 2009). As a group we had decided in December 1990 to
disband, in order to promote similar meetings in more localised areas. Tom asked that I should
start this work in Cambridge and suggested Keith Barnard as a likely partner. I would not have
offered myself without endorsement. I invited Keith to my home for lunch, at which time I
outlined my proposals for the possibilities of regular monthly fellowship and intercessional
meetings, and friendship throughout the Cambridge City churches. Keith was the full-time elder
of Queen Edith’s Chapel, in Cambridge, and I had been a pastor in Huntingdon at the time of
the ‘Reachout ‘88’ Mission with whom I had worked, and I knew Keith to be an evangelical with
a loving humble heart. Because he was a full-time clergyman, it seemed right to invite him to
be the ‘leader’ of this new outreach. Initially Keith did not see a figurehead of importance to our
group’s success, but the growth and maturity and acceptance by the Cambridge clergy
convinced me that I was right to insist.
In June 1991 Keith Barnard and Chris Summerton and I decided it was right for us to work
together to initiate a monthly meeting of Cambridge church leaders. We gave the title as the
Cambridge Prayer Network (CPN), and later organised the first Cambridge Prayer Breakfast,
I took comfort from the Lord telling Thomas A. Kempis:- ‘Child do not be destroyed if some people
do not like you and say unfair things about you. If your soul is well ordered, you will not pay
much attention to flying words. It is great wisdom to keep silent when damaging words are
spoken to you. Turn your attention to Me and do not worry about rumour and slander. Do not look
for support from the mouth of others. You are who you are regardless of what people say. And
you shall know much peace if you neither try to please them, nor care if you displease them.’
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The Lord is My Shepherd
which was held annually for six years. Our speaker at the 1997 prayer breakfast was Bob
Dunnett of ‘Prayer for Revival in the UK’, who addressed an assembly of about 120, from a
wide variety of church backgrounds. We envisage the CPN as a loosely knit evangelical
umbrella organisation a resource centre for praying for each other’s objectives independent of
our own church ministry and our individual circumstances, and sharing information of church
initiatives of local community projects that we could support and develop. Initially only a handful
of people attended our regular monthly lunchtime meetings. Over the seven years we met
together, as many as 30 evangelical churchmen attended. We were very encouraged at the
unity the CPN had helped to foster. Later the Cambridge City joint praise and prayer evenings,
under the supervision of a coalition group of church leaders who identified their enterprise
under the title of the Cambridge Ministers Network (CMN), and the CPN ceased to exist. The
annual prayer breakfast became a casualty, but church leaders recognise the importance of
dialoguing, and regularly meet together supporting each other’s ministry.
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One weekend in 1993, Bishop Tom Abunga of the Kenya City Mission Fellowship, stayed
with his wife Rhoda at our home, having attended a wedding. They attended St Matt’s with us,
and I prayed for his deteriorating lower back condition, for which Tom had formerly received
much prayer. He was totally healed. They attended the morning service with me, where we
were invited into the aisles to dance in conga formation around St Matt’s. Tom loved our
informality and was asked to bring a word for the congregation at the evening service. He
testified that I had prayed for his back condition earlier, which he knew to have been healed;
having had hands laid on him many times without lasting relief. I later heard that on returning to
Kenya his whole eldership and his wife had been killed in a tragic road accident, which left
Bishop Tom badly injured. I wrote a letter of sympathy which resulted in Tom inviting me to
preach as part of a crusade he was arranging. Pastor Philip gave me an envelope with money
for Tom’s family and a covering letter, which stated that I was acknowledged by our
congregation as moving in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, in particular the gift of healing and the
revelatory gifts of knowledge, words of wisdom and prophecy; all of which I delivered whilst
taking part in a mission at Lake Nakuru, during February and March 1994 sharing the platform
with a team of international evangelists. I took the opportunity of visiting some other
missionaries that Pauline and I support financially. I stayed for a few nights with John and
Audrey Preece of MAF, Dick and Linda West of Spirit of Faith Orphanage and the Rev. Captain
Richard and Louise Diamond of the Church Army, who run the Mission to Seamen Club in
Mombassa. I am grateful that the ministry that God called me into was a wider mission field
than to a single flock only, or even to the city of Cambridge only. My visits to other countries
resulted in further invitations to minister overseas. I sensed that my time of service to St Matt’s
was drawing to an end, my boundaries were being extended.
I had sensed for some time a cooling in my relationship with Philip our vicar and in May
1994, the alienation came to a head, when Philip wrote to me stating that he no longer
accepted the authority of my anointing by God as a prophet to St Matt’s Church. The reader
may sense my desolation at rejection, yet God clearly said to me:‘Stay and accept the humiliation with unbowed head, for you serve Me and not
man. Your office is not an easy one and there is no reward given on earth for
obedience to your particular calling. I told you Alf that you will not generally
find acceptance, even from amongst Christians, who prefer to hear words of
encouragement than words of warning. For your messages are from Me and
you have proven faithful in delivering My messages to those to whom they are
intended. Often the message delivered by you, is not acceptable by others who
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consider you of little stature, perceiving you to be an unworthy vessel. Because
the delivered word you bring is uncomfortable, it is as unacceptable to you and
therefore to the receiving recipient, because you have not understood the
importance and finality of the message. Those to whom this message is
intended to be heard by, hear but choose not to heed its contents. Your
message will equally be ignored by some and disdained by others. You will be
persecuted. Be resolute in your obedience.’
It was revealed to me I was to remain a member of St Matt’s, to influence Philip in his
rejection of those times of refreshing arising from what has become familiarly known as the
‘Toronto Blessing’ as being Satanic. My understanding was that Philip should be open to the
Holy Spirit and allow time for the manifestations (the blossom) to develop into fruit. I was aware
of Philip’s personal views of these ‘times of refreshing’ (having listened to his views in private,
and from the pulpit on several occasions refuting the Toronto Blessing’), emphatic that this
repeat of the ‘Azusa Street Revival’ was not of God. His intransigence brought a deep wound to
my heart as an arrow or dagger attack might. I understood his abhorrence of exhibitionism not
controlled by the presiding minister, but I knew in my heart that this outpouring was of the Lord.
Faithfully reported in Christian magazines, believers from all over Britain at this time were
testifying to changed lives and dramatic healings. Most heartening of all was the news that this
current blessing was across all denominations of former Christendom, but unfortunately, Philip
only accepted the negative reports as having merit. I pleaded with God to release me from
sitting under Philip’s authority, as I had often pleaded since receiving his letter refuting his
earlier acceptance of the authority God had placed in me, but the Lord had firmly said, ‘Stay’.
How many seemingly upright well intentioned ministers have refused a move of God because it
does not fit in with their personal expectations or schedule? I accept that some ministers from
charismatic non-conformist churches may hold some non-biblical opinions, but no
denominational doctrine is any more perfectly spiritual than that of a believer who through faith
takes action to respond to the Holy Spirit often in a seemingly irreverent way. It was on
awakening on Monday April 3rd 1995 (almost one year following the confirmation of my fears),
that I was released by the Holy Spirit from further prayerful and industrious service at St Matt’s.
It was a heart rending experience for me to seek to settle my family into another church, after
ten blessed years of fellowship at St Matt’s.
It is never easy for believers to change churches or denominations, let alone the upsetting
effect moving church has on any children. My family suffered the trauma activated by the
searching for and settling into a new congregation, but the search has been worthwhile. I have
spoken with several Christians, who have left their former church over matters of principle; all
agree that it is very stressful. Many such people have been in positions of authority, in their
former church and only reluctantly laid down their mantle of responsibility, considering it
expedient to resign in order to actively demonstrate their disagreement with the lifestyle or
churchmanship of a new incumbent, or a change of policy or performance in a previously welladministered church that may have taken place, perhaps brought about by godly people
moving to other churches, or through formerly industrious members growing old and no longer
being able to serve the body as assiduously as during their earlier years. Many friends have
assured me that I was right to make a positive response to an issue, where my faith was on a
path diametrically opposed to that of the minister. Philip and I parted on good terms, but
spiritually we are far apart. This decision to change churches was of a different scale, but of
equal importance to our leaving St James’ all those years earlier.
The Lord is My Shepherd
Whilst attending Spring Harvest bible camp the following week, Pauline and I took the
opportunity to seek God for our future spiritual home. We agreed to visit six churches twice
over the next few months to see where we would best be fulfilled, bearing in mind that we had
to consider Daniel’s development. We visited two Baptist churches, two Anglican Churches and
also two independent Churches. It was proving embarrassing explaining to friends within those
congregations that we were searching for a new spiritual home. It could have seemed that I
was conducting a critical survey! Carle Stephen of King’s Church, who regularly attended the
network monthly meetings told me that his church were amalgamating with City Church on the
following Sunday. Shortly after his arrival in Cambridge to plant a New Frontiers International
(NFI) church in Cambridge a non-denominational, evangelical and charismatic group of
churches, I had invited Pastor Dave Coak to my home to share lunch, mainly because I wanted
to inform him of the CPN monthly meetings, as an informal way of meeting other Cambridge
ministers. I had attended two of the Sunday meetings of the City Church at the YMCA and at a
network meeting on being told that his fellowship had outgrown the space available at the
YMCA had suggested an alternative meeting places to him, but on investigation he decided the
venue was not appropriate. I had attended St Paul’s School (to which City Church decided to
move), where Daniel attended primary school. I felt called to become a member of this church
under David’s anointed leadership. David believes in every member involvement in ministry
and at services of worship. At first, Pauline wasn’t keen to join this assembly, but realised that
Daniel would feel at home in the familiar surroundings of his own school. She would have
preferred not to leave all that was familiar and acceptable, but she deferred to my wishes. I
seized upon this as a heaven sent opportunity to decide our future church and we have
attended ever since. None from the congregation asked me why we attending the City Church,
the City Church members thought we were former members of King’s Church and the King’s
contingent thought we were already members of the City Church!
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During the years of my son Daniel’s upbringing, we regularly attended the Saltmine Trust
bible camp held at Southwold in Suffolk for one week, and for the second week of our summer
holiday we complete our holiday programme at an animal farm at Edgefield in Norfolk. I fell
asleep on the night of our arrival in 1992, disturbed over Israel’s dependence on America’s
support. On awakening I was squinting because of the early morning sun flooding my bedroom
with sunlight, and. I began experiencing a high-pitched humming in my ears, alerting me that I
was about to receive a revelation in trance form. The sun was shining through the four
windowpanes, which were covered in condensation. I blinked my eyes to clear my vision.
Suddenly the digits 1, 9, 9, 9, appeared very clearly seen, each about 200 mm in height and
as thick as a man’s finger, with one digit in each of the four panes. I received revelation that the
‘1’ was Christ and the three ‘9’s’ represented the accumulated judgements of the ungodly,
which would soon be delivered on unrighteous mankind; and that there was to be a major
earthquake occurring in Turkey during 1999, following which I was to visit that land, when I
would be given greater revelation on what was to follow. Many other nations would receive
devastating earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, before the Rapture of the saints, and the
Lord’s return. Over several nights I received panoramic vistas of huge flooding in Africa, which
has occurred in some African nations since but I also received revelation that there was to be a
withholding of rain from some nations. I saw equally devastating tsunamis crashing into vibrant
shoreline communities in the Pacific Rim region (aka ‘the ring of fire’). I understood that
because many nations and their leaders had rejected God; their nations would receive a
continuous shaking from God, which will lead to the Second Coming of Christ. The UN
are beleaguering the Israeli government to retreat to pre-1967 borders thus dividing
Jerusalem, whilst continuing to persecute His chosen people in increasing anti-
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Semitism (over recent years, the UN has repeatedly passed resolutions condemning Israel’s
insensitivity towards the Palestinians’ claim in the ownership of the Temple Mount, which
successive governments of Israel emphatically reject. A resolution by the UN General
Assembly voted 148 to 1 that it was illegal for Israel to govern the international City of
Jerusalem.)21, the nations are to suffer ever increasing disruptive disasters and terrorism by
extremist followers of Islam, and those Muslims who support such disruptive challenging of
democratic (albeit secular population majority) nations. Yet believers in those countries are to
be spiritually refined and purified as the unrighteous and rebellious become violently opposed
to God’s laws and believers sanctified by grace. Whilst meditating upon these issues I heard
God say “America is not Israel’s shepherd, I am.” 22 I received confirmation that this vision
was connected to the earliest visions I had received in 1983 (of which I wrote on pages 4652). I did not know at that time why this detail had been entrusted to me, except that this
revelation was the continuation of the 1983 vision, given to me owing to my continuing
perseverance as a disciple.
I visited Bodrum in Turkey with Mastersun as part of a family holiday during Pentecost in
1996, 1997, and 1998, partly because I had been intrigued at the vision of August 1992, and
In July 2002, the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) held a five day
conference in Berlin, where an Italian delegation of parliamentarians presented a proposal for a resolution
to have Jerusalem declared as an international city, using the argument that anti-Semitism and Islamic
extremism were intolerant towards the rights of Jews. They argued that Jerusalem and the Mount of
Olives are a special ‘holy basin’, that is worthy of especial consideration for the majority of those who
believed in a monotheistic faith. This is political double speak, and has no consideration of any other
person’s approval of the envisioned genus. OSCE’s proposal will initially fail, but later the nations will
accept the proposal in a modified form, which, when imposed on Israel will release God’s judgement.
22 At 3:02 a.m. on the night of August 17 th 1999, 18,000 people died in Izmit, a city in Turkey, which was
struck by an earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale. The preview of this event was to hearten me
as God’s herald that all natural disasters, droughts, famines, and even wars did not happen without being
pre-ordained by God. I had received a similar word of knowledge some years earlier that God intended
that night to kill 1 million Muslims, who were attending the Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca. I was told to spend
the night in prayer for a moderation of His decree. It transpired that ‘only’ 100,000 lost their lives or
homes, it seems that my prayer request was partially granted. On January 26 th 2001, 50,000 people died
in the earthquake in Ghandidham in India. Many Indian pastors have said that this was God’s judgement,
on the pilgrimage made one month earlier by Hindus to the River Ganges, to pay homage to their many
gods. It is possible but unlikely, that God struck down a representative group of idol worshippers, but
many Christians also died in this incident. It is true that the collapse of the Tower of Siloam resulted in the
death of both guilty and innocent; a justice beyond man’s comprehension is involved (Luke Ch 13:4-5).
The earthquake in Izmit resulted in many more deaths than in the 9/11 horror of 2001, but because the
suicide-attack was carried out with cold-hearted precision, America has recoiled in horror and loathing
and unfortunately decided to invade Iraq. I would point out to Americans, that twice as many people die of
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) each month in South Africa alone than died in the 9/11
horror, a fact that has not resulted in the citizens of America indignantly reacting against the gross
ineptitude of their government in not supplying the medical assistance to address the African calamity.
Not that I put that responsibility to act as the world’s policeman or doctor at America’s door, but so many
people cynically say that America only offers aid abroad if it is to America’s advantage. Unredeemed
mankind can only shake an ineffective fist at what is perceived as God’s judgement. In the earlier editions
of this book, I decided not to record, everything that God had told me in all its starkness, partly because I
hoped God might withdraw His ‘permissive will’ concerning the increase in death and disorder about to be
released, as He had done at the Hajj pilgrimage. I disguised my words in imagery, in order not to put
ideas into evil minds, but I can no longer hide anything revealed to me to share.
21
The Lord is My Shepherd
knowing that the Jew and Gentile celebration of Passover and Easter were celebrated for the
third year in succession into 2000. I hoped for revelation of the Holy Spirit whilst touring the
area of the seven churches of the Book of Revelation, which our tour party visited on each of
our family holidays. I must emphasise that I had not been bidden to visit for clarification. No
further clarification was received, but our family enjoyed wonderful times of fellowship! I did
believe I would be given a sign, when in 1997, I read a report that Lance Lambert confirmed
that on the night of September14-15th, 49 (7² years following the return of the Jews to Israel), a
unique star formation developed over Jerusalem. The sign was of Virgo (the virgin mother)
clothed in heavenly light wearing a constellation of 12 stars crowning her head, fulfilling the
prophecy of Revelation Ch 12:1. The new moon was under Virgo’s feet as she gave birth to the
new-born child. My senses told me that this was the beginning of the third millennia. I base my
assertion on the reference to the wedding in Cana when Jesus performed His first miracle; He
declared (on His third day of ministry that His time had not yet come! It is written in Hosea Ch
6:2: “After two days (two millennia) He will revive us on the third day.”
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At 3:02 m on the night of August 17th 1999, 18,000 people died in Izmit a Turkish city
which was struck by an earthquake measuring 7.0 on the Richter scale. I visited Turkey in
April 2000 as part of a tour party with Mastersun, when we travelled in the footsteps of St
Paul’s mission, that I received the promised revelation of August 1992 for my obedience. I did
not have long to wait for the fruition. A rotund middle-aged Muslim emerged with his young
family from a restaurant at the base of a steep hill that visitors ascended to visit the ancient
cave paintings of the ‘Cave Church of St Peter’ in Pisidian Antioch at the summit. I presumed
that he had eaten a large meal and his children had encouraged their father to play a
(strenuous) game of ‘tag’ whilst clambering up the hillside. He dropped dead in front of our
Christian tour party, amongst whom were three doctors who examined his body and declared
him to be dead. Unexpectedly God told me to lay hands on his body. His wife assented to my
request to pray for her husband in the name of Jesus. I was more surprised than my
compatriots when the dead man rose to his feet and followed me down the hill! On retiring to
bed the night of the raising of the dead man, I was given a revelatory vision advising
me of the (apparent) ‘terrorist attack’ of 9/11 (in 2001) in America: I experienced a
cameo (vision) of a Saracen warrior in ceremonial white dress and turban, wearing a
scimitar at his waist taking an arrow from the quiver strapped to his back. He drew the
drawstring of his crossbow tight and fired (from an Islamic country) the arrow
purposefully into the air. An angel told me that the first arrow was aimed at the Wall
Street Stock Exchange in the heart of America. The purpose of the arrow fired over
lands in which America has established bases was to declare Islam’s decision to
destabilise the American economy from within its own homeland. This arrow was
followed by another, this one aimed at the ‘Twin Towers’ (the World Trade Center), A
further arrow was to be fired at a nuclear plant and another at the Pentagon, and yet
another at the White House, any registered hit would result in huge devastation and
that the confrontations between capitalist America and fanatical Islamic terrorism,
which have been increasing in numbers and ferocity, would soon boil over into
outright war. Any of the arrows fired would result in an international meltdown of
economic and democratic order.. I was told to pray that such strikes would be diverted.
The purpose of the arrow fired over lands in which America has established bases was
to declare Islam’s decision to destabilise the American economy from within its own
homeland. That night I was commanded to return to Jerusalem to attend the Feast of
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Tabernacles in 2000, and to listen for revelation at the Western Wall on Rosh HaShanah
and Yom Kippur, where I would receive further revelation.23
I twice took part in an NFI team that travelled overseas in support of two of the overseas
New Frontiers family of churches. In May 1996 I was part of a team that took a flight to Boston
USA under the leadership of Lex Lozides. Our team were offering support to the Church of
Christ the King based in Rochester, New Hampshire. Whilst serving here I learned a great deal
about ‘friendship evangelism’. One evening we helped customers of Wallmart with their trolleys
of food load their cars, they were particularly pleased that evening as it was raining heavily. On
two specifically designated Saturday occasions, we washed cars for free in Macdonald’s car
park. We cleaned up some areas for churches and councils that had been neglected, and on
several occasions offered coffee from an urn and biscuits to passers by from a ‘hospitality
trolley’, that we wheeled throughout the city centre streets. Americans love the English dialect
and naturally wanted to know why Christians from England had travelled all this distance to talk
with them, which inevitably led to a short presentation of a personal testimony. Our hosts knew
what they wanted to involve us in, and they were so supportive of our presentations. They also
arranged for us to conduct outreach to two universities.
In 1997 I was part of a team of 16 that travelled to Vasco, a town of, so named in memory
of Vasco De Gama, who brought Catholicism to Goa a province of India. We were under the
leadership of Australian pastor Peter Brookes (who in 2000AD became the pastor of a New
Frontiers church in Sydney). The mission was well blessed for its fortitude by a seven-fold
increase in church attendance at the Church of Good Hope. During one service I personally
laid hands on a blind man who was instantly healed. Over the two weeks our team gave out
tracts and information of meetings at people’s homes and on the streets, where we daily held
short services and prayed for the sick who responded to our appeals. Since my return from
India and Nepal, I have worked hard to complete my autobiography and a book on the whole of
Biblical history. I believe that I am called to publish both books as a matter of urgency and am
ploughing on as best as I can.
In pairs in Goa, we took part in a week of street evangelism and each mid-day we
assembled together as a party strategically arranged at designated street venues, where
passers by during their lunch breaks stopped to watch and listen to some Europeans acting out
gospel tracts, followed by the singing of praises to our saviour God, during which time we
handed out invitations to attend an evening meeting conducted by a crusading Indian
I had been commanded to pray that these (arrow) strikes would be diverted as had an earlier
unsuccessful Islamic bombing attack on the Twin Towers in 1993, in which six people had died. Mossad
believed that Imad Fayez Mugniyeh of Hizballah had masterminded this attack. Unaccountably the
basement area of the Twin Towers building following the 1993 attack had never been repaired, and for
eight years had been fenced off by yellow tape, denying access. I was disquieted in how to pray; my
senses suggested that America’s leadership was behind the instigation of this atrocity and if this was so,
then I knew I should pray for the Christians of America to reinstitute their initial Constitution. This dark
cavernous abyss was the perfect base for operations to set up a controlled series of explosions on each
floor that ensured the building would collapse into the abyss beneath. Unaccountably the majority of the
debris of the 9/11 atrocity was disposed of with undue haste before it could be examined by forensic
scientists, being collected through 800 lorry loads and transported to the docks for shipment to China.
However I am racing ahead of chronological unfolding.
23
The Lord is My Shepherd
evangelist Ram Babu (formerly a Brahmin, a member of the highest priestly caste in the Hindu
system), which was the introduction our second week of ministry, which was a week of evening
crusading to which everyone was welcome.
106
During these evening meetings we supported the local New Frontiers Good News church in
Margao, a province of Goa by showing attendees to their seats, and after the preaching praying
for their expressed needs. Many people were healed on the first evening, news of which rapidly
spread around the city, leading to the venue being filled to capacity every evening. The church
had dwindled to 16 people attending, but on the Sunday following the crusade 66 new converts
attended! Three very memorable things happened to me during this mission; firstly my
baggage was not on my final flight from Abu Dhabi, where it had been left on the runway. It was
eight days later that my luggage arrived in Goa! Secondly I was the only one of the 16 who
suffered no illness through the heat or the food, although the next oldest member was ten
years younger than me, and most others were half my age. The highlight however was the
recovery of sight to a man who had been blind for many years at my laying hands on him. His
son told me that his father had been prayed for on many previous occasions, with no relief.
All my colleagues returned home, whilst I (who had travelled independently) joined a
secular tour party in Dehli, from where we travelled widely throughout India and Nepal over the
following four weeks. We visited the tourist attractions, the Taj Mahal, the River Ganges and
other places of renown, but I was primarily interested in visiting Pokhara in Nepal, where Rose
Barker from St Matt’s had served for many years. I thought that flying over Mount Everest
would reveal some undreamed of revelatory experience, but none was received. This
paragraph only confirms that one cannot pigeon-hole God into responding of a need to satisfy
one’s personal wishes or expectations.
What has given me great satisfaction is the commitment given to evangelism, mission and
church unity by NFI. Members of City Church are encouraged to become involved with social
activity outside the ambit of church involvement. I should think that about a third of the
membership attended the Stoneleigh bible camp in August 1996, which is an annual event to
which all the NFI Churches within a region come together. In 1996, I had been accepted, along
with volunteers from many other NFI Churches, to take part in a mission in America with a
church affiliated to NFI, (The Church of Christ the King) in Rochester, Massachusetts, where I
had made many friends in 1996 and became totally fired up on Friendship Evangelism. Pauline
took part in a follow up mission to the same church in September 1997. My son Daniel, at the
age of seven said to me:- ‘Anyone can see Dad, that you are mad about God!’; quite
perceptive and extremely accurate, which is why I am excited with our participation in NFI. The
day following Pauline’s return from America
What have I concluded in my searching? John Ch 20:13 states:-‘The miraculous signs
performed by Jesus were written that the reader may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the
Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name’.1 John Ch 5:31 states :- ‘I
write these things to you who believe That Jesus is the Son of God, so that you may be
certain of your eternal life’.(paraphrased) Jesus came as the suffering servant, to pay the
price of every persons sin. Those who believe Him to be their Lord and saviour are enabled to
do so through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit who is also the spirit of sonship. He enables
those who repent and become followers to cry out as children Abba, Father. We are no longer
slaves but sons, baptised and clothed in His righteousness. Paul said in 1 Corinthians Ch
4:16:-‘Be imitators of me’, (and from Ephesians Ch 5:1) ‘as I imitate Christ’. Christians can
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know deep in their knower (their soul) that they are saved. Paul in 1 Corinthians Ch 15:16-19:‘If the dead are not raised to life and if Christ was not raised, our faith in eternal life is
futile and we should be pitied more than all men’.
I accept that all the scriptures as ‘God-breathed’. Like Paul I consider myself no more
important than any other person. Whether one is born to highborn parents or born outside of
marriage, each person’s lifetime and its length was lovingly designed and decreed by God. No
human fertilised ovary occurred by chance. God is aware of the circumstances surrounding
every conception; each of us being fearfully and wonderfully made. We grieved when Pauline
suffered her miscarriage, but we were certain that the foetus (a demonstration of our love for
each other) had been raised with Christ. If you my reader share the faith that I enjoy, you can
rejoice that you and those of your family who have accepted Christ are going to inherit a place
in Gods holy city. I am writing here that which I explained to the Hindus of India; there is no
second chance for mankind to perform to a higher standard, their is no re-incarnation, we either
achieve or otherwise fall short of the life to live especially designed for us individually each in
the particular generation and location chosen for us.
I have written of godly people in churches badly led, and I have written of well led churches
with reluctant disciples. I have also written of nations experiencing similar problems with their
subjects of other faith groups that from the teachings of extremists ignore the wisdom of their
more tolerant priesthood and defy the constitutional law of democratically elected governments.
My experience has been that if one follows Christ, through faithful weekly attendance at the
community church supported by the ‘cheerful’ tithing of 10% of one’s income to the coffers of
that church, it may result in prayers being answered to one’s appeal, but I accept that invariably
God works with a different agenda. I have learned through inappropriate prayers in which I
have sought to pigeonhole God, to leave judgement and salvation to His outworkings. I
question the belief of irregular attendance of ‘Christians’ at their local church that their prayers
will be answered, more swiftly or more precisely than the prayers of regularly attending
devotees, but I cannot determine when or how God might react into a situation that He had
previously set in motion. I attended the annual prayer conference of TFM on Saturday March
27th 1993, together with approximately 100 fellow supporters, who gathered at Coton School in
Cambridge. Daniel Cozens, Peter Adams and Trevor Hames, the three full-time officials shared
from the platform their plans and hopes for future missions. The audience were assured
several times that their prayers and support were a great source of encouragement to the TFM
leadership. The impending six week mission to Cornwall produced great excitement amongst
the prayer partners. Later in the day we were asked what God had been saying to us as
individuals concerning our personal involvement with TFM.
Daniel opened the meeting by reading from Luke Ch’s 1 and 2. I was struck by what I
considered to be of ‘similar circumstances’. The Reverend Lovejoy, aged 84 years, was
present and I found myself substituting his ministry with the prophetess Anna (also aged 84
years), who had been waiting and watching faithfully for many years for the redemption of
Jerusalem, through the child Messiah from the narrated passage read. Over coffee Robert
Aston reminded me of my prophesying over him during the second week of mission in
Huddersfield, whilst on the first ‘Walk of a Thousand Men’. Robert told me that the Lord had
indeed created and enlarged his ministry ever since that prophecy. I sensed that I was the
substitute for Simeon, ‘a righteous and devout man’, waiting for the vision of revival coming
to my Jerusalem (Cambridge). Daniel shared with us that over the previous weeks, he had
awakened very early each day, yearning and wrestling for cleanliness and purity of heart. He
The Lord is My Shepherd
could not explain this compulsion but he continued to say that he had recently sensed that
there could be a national revival.) Initially Daniel put the explanations down to going to bed too
early, with the imminent second ‘Walk of a Thousand Men’, on his over active mind. He went
on to speak of an open door into Cornwall for God’s work for those willing to respond to the
vision he had received and who shared his enthusiasm for this mission. As is often the case,
more than half the churches located in the region of the mission did not want to be involved
and much support was needed for Daniel’s teams of evangelists travelling from all over Britain
in order for this mission to be successful. There had been a lack of willingness to co-operate in
unity between the various denominations and differing persuasions of ecclesiology, which had
similarly been encountered in the Pennine Way mission. I had hoped that suspicion would have
been recognised, but I suppose mistrust is a natural reaction that has to be recognised. The
Cornwall walk encountered similar resistance from those believers who do not expect to see
the Great Commission realised in their own lifetime, or who could not break free from the
mindset of the traditional involvement of their churches in mission.
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Some church leaders are reluctant to reach out with the gospel amongst the non-churched
community in the districts in which they minister. The interest of the less committed leaders to
evangelism has not been admitted to on every occasion. In some areas, the churches of
Cornwall did not have sufficient active members to support the mission. Often the valid excuse
given was that the membership of most churches was mostly elderly and frail folk. It would
seem impossible to inspire the ministers of such congregations, but nothing is impossible with
God. Through the advertising and with the presence of the teams of witnesses in both villages
and towns, most residents and tourists in Cornwall heard of and witnessed the activities of the
Walk Cornwall mission.
Patricia Stewart, who had made a remarkable recovery from a long and painful illness (God
often gives remarkable spiritual insight to people, following a personal dramatic healings), said
that three days previously she had been directed to Isaiah Ch 45:1-4 and now thought it
applied to the Cornwall Mission, with Daniel being the Lord’s anointed one. Fred Garner (who
himself had recently been saved from drowning), rose to his feet with a cautionary prophetic
word given to him three days earlier. He reminded all of those present that it was God who was
the head of TFM and without faith and the Lord’s blessing our efforts would achieve nothing. At
the invitation from the platform to the floor to share what the Lord was saying, I was the first to
my feet. I prophesied:‘All believers should urgently pray for revival, but the yearning for revival is
individually ignited in each person’s heart. Revival demands personal cleanliness
and holiness of believers through the church, with deep repentance and
acknowledgement of personal sin and a turning to God in deep remorse, before
revival could reach outwards into the community. Revival does not start when the
church leaders think it can be fitted in to a busy schedule: Such thinking leads to
revival being suffocated.’
I declared that as a symbolic gesture those present should join hands together circling the TFM
leaders and their families confirming our united spiritual support. We should immediately move
into the vicarage garden unitedly calling out to God for guidance and protection over each of us
in attendance! This action would in effect put a ring of protection not only around this mission
but strengthen the very ties that bound us all together as believers and as prayer partners.
However practical this was, natural orderliness won the day. It was easier to leave such
action to the end of the meeting and then there was the matter of clearing away the chairs etc.
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Many of those attending the meeting had a long distance to travel. About half of the people
attending did stay, joining hands around the three evangelists, but I could not help thinking that
it never seemed to be the right time for everyone to co-operate in concerted united action. We
are never really wholly available and I point the finger at myself as much as anyone else. I
received a word of knowledge that we represented flowers in a field, planted and watered by
God, here only for a season. We were totally dependent on Christ for survival and not terribly
influential or powerful in our own strength, but we were precious in His sight. We may look
beautiful to the bees and butterflies, which would rely on us (as flowers) for food, but we must
never lose our humility to pride, remembering always that God has many such fields, just as
precious to Him whom He could have used.
Whilst I was attending the St Matt’s service on the following day, Sunday March 28 th, I felt
quickened to prophesy:‘I see the glory of the Lord and it is all around us.’ (just as in 2 Kings Ch 6:17). ‘The
Holy Spirit may be likened to a wind blowing in from the East coast across the
seas from Russia, and blowing through opened doors into the corridors of
administrative power, the magistrates courts, the police head-quarters, the
teaching hospitals, the colleges of the University and other places of education.
The Holy Spirit is changing thought patterns throughout the work places of
Cambridge. The business houses, factories, shops and offices as well as private
homes, everyone who lives in Cambridge will be affected. The fire will spread out,
fanned into flame by the wind of the Spirit blowing over the whole land. Many will
be blinded by the glory manifested, and the blinded will be separated from those
the Holy Spirit will touch. I pray for the families in the churches, that we might love
our spouses and our families in a restored holy relationship, with division and
separation forgiven in love. I pray that our families might become united in love,
that the unmarried among us may know themselves to be fulfilled and integrated
into the family of God. Not only should believers embrace unity and love within the
body of their preferred church assembly, but each of us should encourage liaison
with the other assemblies that gather in Cambridge. The Messianic Jews are the
friends of Jesus and the elder brother of Gentile believers, the Gentile bride, who
will be given away in marriage to Jesus. I call for blessing on the eternal marital
home in the New Jerusalem. I acknowledge the Jew, as my elder brother as
fulfilling the priesthood of all believers and I accept Jesus as High Priest over all,
ministering to His subjects in our new imperishable bodies. This message is
addressed to all of our flock, including those who are not present today for
whatever reason and should be relayed to them.’
Philip then prayed for the Cambridge Prayer Walk of Churches (which many of the various
denominations of churches had indicated they would support, that all the churches of
Cambridge might be united and share the same vision that was on God’s heart, also that when
we shared ‘The Peace’ it would be unusually significant in its symbolism. John Armstrong (who
later became a vicar) prayed that the Holy Spirit in His grace would accomplish His unifying
work of restoration and renewal in us, even before we took ‘Communion’. In the congregation,
was a man with a lady companion, who were visitors from Nepal. (Rose Barker our returned
missionary to Nepal had occasionally brought them to church.) I shared ‘the Peace’ with them
and repeated the prophecy I had made some months earlier, that the formerly closed Hindu
country of Nepal would have major surgery. That just as the Hindu woman whose healing we
had been praying for at the time of the prophecy would find relief (but not healing), so would the
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nation find relief and partial healing. Prior to prophesying, I had seen a vision of a laser light
searching and revealing dark cancerous places, which on exposure responded to treatment
and was healed; Nepal as a nation would similarly be healed by exposing the people to the
gospel.
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I was overcome by the awesomeness of what I believed God had given me to prophesy. I
thought revival was somehow tied in inextricably with the prophecy being proclaimed in
Cambridge because I worshipped in this city. I now realise that probably all watchmen desire
revival to include the city that they themselves reside in. I fully believe that the natural man in
me wanted to interpret God’s word in that way. Perhaps that desire was induced by my
awareness that current and past members amongst our own congregation, had been living in
expectancy of revival, since St Matt’s was first established in 1863, but then I remembered that
the revelation was first given to me in 1983, before I had even heard of St Matthew’s Church. I
was aware that the centre of the British Protestant movement was founded here in Cambridge
and that the ‘Cambridge seven’ evangelists, who were famously called out by God to join
Hudson Taylor in China in the 1880’s, received their calling whilst studying in Cambridge. It has
been mainly due to the Cambridge impetus that the various university Christian organisations
throughout the world received from the example of these seven young men that has led to the
successful proliferation of university fellowships. Whilst the Lord was teaching me to listen and
obey, at the same time He was familiarising me with Israel through regular missionary journeys.
Chapter 6- Israel My Israel.
111
Approximately 50 years before Jesus was born, Julius Caesar had twice landed in Britannia with a
small fleet of ships to explore the possibilities of a full-scale invasion. It had initially been
necessary to establish trading links from the Romanised trading province of Gaul and to establish
settlements in Britannia, whilst building relationships with the tribal kings of England. Many
Diaspora Jews had previously settled in Britannia, whilst others, dependant for their livelihoods on
the expansion of the Roman Empire, had attached themselves to the Romans as soldiers,
servants and spouses, and many more subtle but demonstrative ways. Historians have theorised
that many Jews living in Britain would have made pilgrimages to Jerusalem and been present at
the first Pentecost following Christ’s ascension. It is logical to conclude that such converts to Christ
were indwelt by the Holy Spirit and would have eagerly shared their testimonies with their
brethren and Gentile contacts in Britannia. It was not until 43AD that Claudius Caesar carried out a
full invasion, which was soon after the Crucifixion. Lady Pomponia was a convert to Christianity;
she was the wife of a Roman commander Plautius, who was posted to Britannia in 43AD as part of
the Roman invasion. Pomponia was a Greek scholar who without doubt interviewed many of
Christ’s Apostles and disciples in Israel when compiling her critique, which she widely shared in
Britannia. It is essential to remember that belief in Christ as the Son of God was not ‘embraced’ by
Rome until Constantine chose to accept the philosophy that the early church fathers were insisting
upon because of Rabbinic Judaism and the contesting Greek Orthodoxy with Armenians,
Egyptians, Persians etc as listed in Acts Ch 2:1-11. I was aware that the Jews living in Britain
suffered increasing persecution, as they had under Catholicism throughout Europe; finally King
Edward II ordered their expulsion from Britain in 1290AD. He was the first of the European
monarchs to banish the Jews from his kingdom. France followed in 1306AD, Germany in 1348AD,
Austria in 1421AD Spain in 1492AD, and Portugal in 1497AD. The Jews living in Britain suffered
increasing persecution, as they had under Catholicism throughout Europe; finally King Edward II
ordered their expulsion from Britain in 1290AD. He was the first of the European monarchs to
banish the Jews from his kingdom. France followed in 1306AD, Germany in 1348AD, Austria in
1421AD Spain in 1492AD, and Portugal in 1497AD.
On October 1st 1655AD Rabbi Manasseh ben Israel of Amsterdam, known as ‘the
ambassador of Israel to the Gentiles throughout Europe’, delivered a petition to Britain’s Council of
State calling for Jews to be allowed to return to Britain. Republican and anti-monarchist Puritan
Oliver Cromwell as Lord Protector of England could see at once that the financial benefits to Britain
would be great, and despite the resistance of the Council of State, in 1657AD Cromwell persuaded
the Council to allow re-admission. Cromwell promised the Jews the right to establish their homes
in Britain and practise their faith without interference. The evangelicals of the 18 th and 19th C AD
arose from the earliest stirrings of British Protestantism in the hearts of the Puritans and nonconformist extroverts, promoted (mainly by Anglican minister Charles Simeon [1759-1836AD] who
ministered at the Holy Trinity Church in Cambridge for 54 years) and leading to the conception of
the many great evangelical missionary societies that were throughout the world.
I had developed a great love for Israel and the race of Jews over a number of years and had
first made pilgrimage to Israel with the Bethany Christian fellowship in 1987 at the time of Israel’s
40th year of celebration of returning to the land of their forefathers. The second occasion was in
September 1991, when Fred Garner and I joined with a party of prayer warriors led by Michael and
Pauline Young to do some serious spiritual warfare in Israel. Our first night was spent in a small
Tiberius hotel on Lake Kinneret, adjacent to a larger hotel, which had been impounded to house
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some of the Ethiopian refugees who had been airlifted from Ethiopia in Operation Solomon with
only the clothes they were wearing.24 I have to record that I heard satanic screams and threats
throughout my first night and on sharing my discomfiture with our leader Mike advised me that New
Age supporters had encompassed every spiritual site with tape full of their blasphemous
utterances. We returned to Jerusalem to take part in the celebration of the Feast of Tabernacles
organised by the International Christian Embassy of Jerusalem (ICEJ), during which this period of
Succoth Fred and I were driven by Alexander (Sasha) Wainberg to the home he shared with his
wife Irene, their three children and Sasha’s mother in Rehovat, 25 and we shared a meal before
sleeping overnight on the veranda of their flat; where we experienced a wonderful and
unforgettable view of the night sky. We rejoined our party the following day to attend the
Conference and for the remainder of our pilgrimage tour before flying home.
During my first attendance of Feast of Tabernacles’ Celebration and Conference in
1991, I received a dream concerning a wedding in the Tabernacle in the wilderness.
I have repeatedly experienced flashes of this dream, even through cameo pictures
during my waking hours. The dream centred on the Lord’s willingness to invite
even the beggars and lepers to the heavenly wedding. The unkempt, ill-dressed,
evil-smelling throng queued in silent procession standing patiently in crocodile
formation, on a narrow, but well-lit path leading to the Tabernacle. At the entrance
of the Tabernacle the people at the front of this queue, were met by a team of
maidservants, who lovingly welcomed the guests in an all-inclusive friendly
manner with no formality or questioning. The penitents willingly discarded their
everyday clothes and supernaturally were aromatically doused in a scent of peace,
love and forgiveness; after which they were robed in a garment of righteousness. I
was made aware by an unseen angel, that the Tabernacle had the ability to expand
in order to accommodate all those who chose to gain entry and follow the narrow,
but well-lit path of eternal life. I was also told that those who followed the
excitement of human experience were led along unlit paths that disappeared into
the wilderness of damnation. This dream was followed by a second strange dream
of warning not to enter the wilderness seeking the cultic mysterious experiences of
others. The subsequent dream started with my sitting on a rock overlooking the
Judean wilderness. Mutedly I became aware of shouting and music in the distance,
which increased in volume as the procession became observable. I saw a pied
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The Ethiopians were later housed in one of seven refugee camps scattered throughout Israel, until they
had completed the absorption process, which included a course of instruction in learning the Hebrew
language.
25 The Succoth meal is one of a series of evening meals eaten over the eight day festival and is traditionally
observed by sharing a meal with friends in a makeshift tent (a tabernacle) roofed in by palm branches but
which allows the stars above to be clearly seen through the leaves. The Weinberg’s were Russian Jews, both
pharmacists and had made Aliyah to Israel 14 years earlier. I had first met the Weinberg’s when in 1989
Sasha and his wife had reserved bed and breakfast rooms at our home, whilst they attended a conference in
Cambridge, when they invited me to their home for a meal, on my telling them I intended to visit Israel at the
following years’ Feast of Tabernacles. Sasha was a wonderful character, with an unbelievable pedigree; a
warm hearted, over generous man. His grand-parents on his father’s side had both been doctors. They had
been the personal physicians to the late Czar and Czarina of Russia. Because of their relationship they were
murdered with the other courtiers to the throne-room during the revolution. Sasha’s father also became a
doctor, during the Stalin purges of intellectuals in the 1920’s; he was imprisoned and later murdered (in
1940). Sasha had no intention of settling in Israel, he had intended to emigrate to America, but God decided
otherwise.
24
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piper playing a wind instrument, the people following him were laughing excitedly,
skipping and singing in time with the tune he played, which was supported by
drummers. The gloom was penetrated by those who carried oil-soaked rags and by
a battery of psychedelic flashing lights; there were fireworks and fireballs
illuminating these extra-ordinary proceedings. The peoples carried the flags of
their nations, and were wearing national costumes. Some of the following crowds
were mounted on the backs of exotic animals; the children played and spoke as
friends with the ferocious animals that ran freely amongst them. I could hear the
exotic sounds of the jungle, and feel the perspiration associated with warmer
climes and humidity, dripping from my skin into my clothing. I witnessed an extraordinary birth in which an ostrich, a feathered bird, had a caesarean birth that
resulted in the delivery of a furry species of monkey. The voodoo drumbeat, the
eerie light, and the sulphuric pervading smell, choking my breathing told me that I
was witnessing a Satanic experience. The noise and the vision faded, as the
procession wended its way into the dark wilderness, and thick silence filled the air.
This scenario has repeatedly returned whenever I am distressed over the
advertising of gay marches or New Age gatherings.
This revelatory dream has been a very sobering experience, forcibly reminding me to continuously
pray for the lost from my own family and friends who had previously not been impressed by the
Gospel messages that I had delivered.
On returning home I spent much time analysing and meditating over my first assignment to
Israel and the city of Jerusalem in particular and was rewarded one morning on hearing the words:
“A penny for your thoughts. Write them down in a book together with your understanding of
Holy Scriptures, so that when you share with others no salient points are forgotten.” This
confirmation to write an eschatological book was not too dissimilar from the command of Jeremiah
Ch’s 30-31, or its contents. Since receiving the vision of the platform clock being thrown under my
feet (see page 49), I have always assumed that I would receive prior notice of the end times that I
should share as widely as possible, which is why I allow the down-loading of my books freely from
my website.
A Summons to Jerusalem
In August 1992, I had been meditating, before retiring to bed, on God’s purposes in allowing Israel
to be invaded in every decade since her rebirth. I meditated over the Middle East situation and how
it would impact Israel. The War of Independence of 1948, consisted of c18,000 fighting men with
10,000 rifles, 3,600 submachine guns smuggled in from Mexico and a few bazookas. The majority
of the Jews were untrained women, children and old people, who successfully repelled and
defeated the invading Arabs, armed only with homemade weapons. The Hagannah overcame a
much better equipped enemy26 as the IDF has done in every subsequent invasion. The next war
Fighting against armed insurrectionists and suicide bombers during the two extended periods of intifada
that have ‘replaced’ national attacks, has been like chasing shadows but the Lord reminded me that He had
always allowed Israel’s enemies to live amongst His chosen people in His Promised Land, in order to teach
His people the art of warfare (Judges Ch 3:1-6). In Exodus Ch 23:30 the Lord says “Little by little I will drive
out your enemies before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land,” the
Lord is doing the same today. There is much evidence that the ‘Lord of the Battle’ has supported His people
just as He did throughout much of the Old Testament period. Israelis are slowly learning that they cannot put
their trust in the IDF and the Knesset (horses and chariots), but in Christ alone (Psalm 44:9-10).and the
liberation of the old city
26
The Lord is My Shepherd
was the Sinai Campaign of 1956, and the Six-day war of June 5th-10th 1967, and the liberation of the
old city on June 7th at Shavuot. I recalled that in 1982 as a result of the civil war, the Lebanese
army began to fragment and the government became a puppet government subject of the hated
minority Syrian Shi'a Muslims, who were supported by the Palestinian Hizballah army, who (with
their families and their armaments had occupied [and later controlled] Lebanon and its
government). Major Saad Haddad, who commanding an army battalion in south Lebanon, defected
from the Lebanese Army and founded a group known as the South Lebanon Army (SLA), which
consisted mainly of mostly Coptic Christians, and Sunni Muslims, that were eventually forced to
retreat into Israel. The siege of Beirut by the IDF, as part of the Lebanon War of 1982 was the
outcome of a successful operation by the Syrians, who were occupying and controlling much of
Lebanon, to encourage an invasion by the Lebanese government. The counter action was highly
successful until Israel was warned by Pres. Reagan, who insisted that weaponry provided by the
United States to Israel was only to be used for defensive purposes.27 This remonstration meant
that Israel was forced to withdraw her troops from Lebanon, but they still retained the supportive
presence to the SLA. My senses advise me that America were trying to stop what they considered
as a ‘minor war’, against the probability of Iraq invading Kuwait.
114
Roosevelt, a 33.degree mason, was elected in 1932 as the 32 nd President. His successor
Pres Truman was elected in 1944, followed by Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford,
Carter28, Bush and in 1980 former film star Ronald Reagan was elected as the 40 th President of
America surprising the Inner Circle! The set back was easily overcome by his being offered the
honorary office of a 33 degree Freemason. Reagan wrote a well publicised letter in which he said
he was honoured at being the 17th American president to hold such a high Freemasonry
degree. The Freemasons and the Illuminati are working towards replacing the present form of
government in America with an authoritarian system and the creation of a non-sectarian religion,
uniting the world under their control. I have always suspicious of America’s foreign policy, and her
‘friendships’ with other nations which are subject to whoever is president, because many of
America’s senior politicians and bankers have been Freemasons. In 1976, the 200 th anniversary
was celebrated of the Catholic-inspired formation of the Illuminati and of American independence
from Britain. It had never occurred to me that some of the Muslim refugees might form themselves
into ‘sleeper cells’ of fifth columnists, and as has been witnessed many second generation
The US has been the only major weapons supplier to sell arms to Israel since the Sinai Campaign. Britain,
France, China and Russia refuse to supply Israel, but sell unlimited supplies of arms to the petroleum rich
Arab nations, who have sworn to destroy Israel. Between 1973 and 1993 $1 trillion’s worth of arms were
supplied to the Middle Eastern countries by America, only 15% of this sum were sold to Israel.
28 Carter was elected as the 39th President. According to Masonic occult teaching, 39 is the sacred triumviral
number of 13 tripled. Inevitably democratically elected secular governments reflect the aspirations of their
electorate. The USA was founded in Jonestown in 1607AD; 2007 marking the 400 th anniversary of its
inception. I wrote on page 150 that it was ordained by God that the number of years that the capital city of
both Greece and Israel were occupied by the Ottoman Empire were to be of identical 400 year length.
Although Muslims do not influence America, to the same degree as do the Freemasons; in 1970 there were
100,000 Muslims living in America, by 2008 the number had multiplied to over nine million, and in 2010 ten
million; 2’000 mosques have been built to accommodate the Islamic worshippers, which had to have resulted
from a change in the immigration laws. I wrote in an early edition of Wake Up! The Lord is Returning that
America and the allies that follow America’s leadership would in 2008 receive its ‘comeuppance’. Merrill
Lynch, and Lehman Brothers financial houses of America were two of the largest investment banks involved
in fixed interest trading that had both invested heavily in the sub prime mortgage market, as has similarly
occurred throughout Western banking operations, whose crippling financial losses came to light in 2008, and
have had a domino effect on all nations that have adopted the Illuminati inspired banking policies of America.
27
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Muslims do not share the peaceable nature of their parents, and strike out against their host
nations (read footnote 40 for just such an example).
There had been the Yom Kippur War of 1992, when invaders from Lebanon initially infiltrated
Tel Aviv by sea, killing 37 bus passengers and wreaking other damage without reprisal, for an illprepared Israel was fulfilling a solemn day concluding the ten Days of Awe on Yom Kippur. This
was the signal that Israel had not prepared or was aware of this attack, which led to a full bloodied
assault. Thousands of non-combatant Israelis were slaughtered by 1.2 million invading soldiers in
a pincer movement. It took the IDF three days to muster all its troops to their units, before Israel
mounted a full-scale reply, within seven days, which thrust troops into occupying 18 miles of
Lebanese land up to the Litani River. I suspect that the IDF would have penetrated much farther
into Lebanon if the UN had not demanded their withdrawal, giving assurances to the adversaries
that the United Nations Interim Forces in Lebanon (UNIFIL) would restore peace. UNIFIL forced by
world pressure to submit to every demand sided first with the Palestine Liberation Organisation
(PLO) and then with Hizballah Israel’s government. Many UNIFIL troops all of which are Arabs
were members (or sympathisers) of one or other of the Palestinian terror groups. Perhaps
understandably practically and many UNIFIL soldiers had either been recruited to or collaborated
with the PLO, who had been allowed to establish many bases and training camps in Lebanon. 29
It had been the Inner-Circle that opened the door of restoration of the Jews to Israel.30 In June
1917 at the Paris Peace Conference hosted by the World Masonic Congress it had been agreed
that a League of Nations should be established (in order to hasten the establishment of a global
government).The UN’s agreement to the right of Jews to return to their Biblical homeland was
meant to appear as humanitarian but what was nefariously proposed was an empty gesture. Once
all the objectives of the Illuminati had been carried out, the gilded cage that was Israel would
entrap all Jews trying to escape from secular ’Christendom’ through emigrating into Israel. Israel
was thought of as a gigantic gas-chamber that would house the final Holocaust of Jews. This was
confirmed to my satisfaction in an interview of Sheikh Hassan Nasrullah (leader of Hizballah) in
Following the defeat of the Arab nations and liberation of East Jerusalem, which included the Old City, the
Arab League met in Khartoum to discuss the changed situation. They resolved to accept no peace proposals
with Israel unless Israel relinquished all the land taken in the 1967 war. They interpreted the Western nations
response correctly, recognising that the Palestinian Arabs have lived ever since in grinding impoverishment,
causing the 185 member states of the UN to support Arab protestations that East Jerusalem should be
handed over to the Palestinian Muslims as their capital city.
30 Texe Marrs records in his book Circle of Intrigue that the Inner-Circle of ten global leaders that head-up
the Illuminati. The Inner-Circle of 13 members appoints a council of 10, who meet secretly twice a year to
determine and instigate future strategy for manipulating world affairs. Ramon Bennett (an American Jew
living in Israel) in his book Philistine has written a compelling exposure pointing out that all ten-Inner-Circle
globalists have no loyalty to any country. At the level of progress into the 33 degree a Freemason is
completely deceived into worshipping Lucifer. The Inner-Circle have infiltrated into every world government
(with some exceptions in the Islamic nations) as their agents own most of the Central Banks. Through the
Illuminati’s control of the Freemasons, the Inner-Circle of the ten enlightened ones have been able to ‘unite’
(control) leadership. On June 28th 1998 the Washington Post published an article featuring the Bank for
International Settlement (BIS) entitled “At Secret Meetings in Switzerland, 13 People Shaped the World’s
Economy” going on to describe this secret group of international political financiers who control the world
supply of money as an ‘economic cabal’.
29
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2002 reported by the Lebanon Daily Star. “If the Jews all gather in Israel, it will save us the
trouble of going after them world-wide.”
116
Ramon Bennett in his book SAGA wrote that America has a habit of making political
covenants with Israel and ammending them. In June 1967 Pres. Johnson’s staff were unable to
find the 1957 document, which pledged to aid Israel if Egypt blockaded the Tiran Straights again
(to counter the strategic difficulties caused in the1956 Sinai Campaign), which Egypt had done on
May 23rd. America had covenanted to undertaken the duty of patrolling the Tiran Straights in order
to protect the voyaging rights of Israeli shipping, America withdrew her patrols as soon as Egypt
started their blockade of the Red Sea. It is obvious that at this time Israel’s security was sold for a
little more than 30 pieces of silver. The international edition of the Jerusalem Post wrote that G W
Bush’s administration was the most unfriendly in Israel’s recent history, and quoted James Baker,
the US Secretary of State on March 21st 1992 as saying “the Jews can go to hell”. World Jewry
would be aware that report. Following the Madrid Conference of 1991, in February 1993 Baker
promised the Palestinian Arabs that they would get an independent Palestinian State carved out of
Israel, which was followed by the Oslo Peace Accords signed in Washington by the then Israeli
Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir and Yassir Arafat on behalf of the Palestinian National Authority
(PNA), the peace process has laid the framework for Palestinian autonomy in the West Bank and
in Gaza. Israel were to pull out of the Gaza Strip and cities in the West Bank, leaving the question
of East Jerusalem becoming the capital of the new Palestinian state to be dealt with at a later time.
The process stalled with the collapse of the Camp David 2000 Summit, mainly because of the
continuing violence of the Intifada.
Pres. Bush had been furnished with a military response strategy to be put into effect, if Iraq
invaded Kuwait.31 Within five days of Iraq’s attack on Kuwait, two American airborne divisions were
airlifted to Saudi Arabia, but three months were needed to transport sufficient men and munitions
to support a sustained war effort. The American Forces occupied a landmass large enough to
accommodate the back-up supplies needed to fortify a huge army. Within two weeks Iraq captured
almost two-thirds of the world’s oil supplies. The intervention by the UN was not a simple matter of
good standing against evil, but of one group’s self-interests opposing another. Many Arabs saw
Saddam as a patriot and the man behind whom all Arab nations could unite in overthrowing the
yoke of infidel oppression. Bush was successful in persuading Syria to offer support in the counter
invasion. Again I suspect that the shadowy moguls of the Pentagon and the White House agreed
in return for Syrian support they would not interfere with a Syrian invasion of Lebanon, when
Over a decade leading up to Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait, the equivalent of US$50-billion were spent in
equipping Saddam’s militia with sophisticated armament and weapon systems. Iraq’s army was
acknowledged as being the fourth most powerful in the world. Hitherto classified information has recently
disclosed that, following an Arab League meeting some two years before the invasion of Kuwait, Saddam
invited Pres. Hosni Mubarak of Egypt to be part of a small band of conspirators in a plot to overthrow the
sheikhdoms of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates (UAE), because of their
friendship with the Western nations. Jordan was to be given the western provinces together with Mecca and
Medina, whilst Yemen would also receive two provinces as plunder. Kuwait was to be the first target before
invading Saudi Arabia. The late Syrian Pres. Hafez al-Assad of Syria was determined to remove the Jews
from Israel which was why Syria was not included with the conspirators. Saddam intended that this distinction
of removing the Jews was to be his. Mubarak was promised all of the oil that Egypt would ever need, in return
for his complicity. Mubarak declined Saddam’s overtures owing to Egypt’s dependence on American.
Saddam ought to have known that Egypt would advise America of the plan, but his insane obsession that he
was the reincarnation of King Nebuchadnezzar and his overweening pride was his downfall.
31
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117
40,000 troops backed by 2,000 tanks destroyed the SLA. The supposed ‘special relationship’
between America and Israel is only important to both Republicans and Democrat Parties in
obtaining the American Jews vote at elections, for some Jews are in positions of influence in
America, and provide financial support to America’s political parties.
The Allies launched Operation Desert Storm, and the Iraqi forces were successfully pushed out
of Kuwait and then continued the counter invasion into Iraq. The UN General Assembly refused to
accept the demands of Pres. George Bush (senior), British PM Mrs Margaret Thatcher, and French
Pres. François Mitterand, to overthrow Pres. Hussein and replace him with a puppet leader.
Ironically out of all of those leaders only Saddam remained in power into the 21 stC AD. The Allies’
achievement was a hollow victory, and in the eyes of many peoples, they won the battle but lost
the real war. The UN were threatened by Saddam that if the Allies had marched into Baghdad, as
many as 16 Scud missiles pointing towards Israel, which had been armed with biological warheads, would be fired. But what decided America to withdraw was the belief that Israel was about
to carry out missile attacks against Iraq which would have precipitated World War III which
America as the senior partner was not financially or administratively equipped to control.
I realised that the theme connecting my meditation, prior to retiring to bed that night, and the
earlier revelatory dream, concerning the Allies’ response against Iraq, was ‘war’. I received
revelation that night, that during the final generation living on Earth, the two warring kingdoms, of
the North and South, of Daniel Ch 11, would not represent earthly kingdoms, but would manifest as
poles apart ideologies of extreme Islam, which is not just a faith but also a political system, which
would confront libertarian laissez faire Western humanism, which could be similarly classified. The
conflagration once fanned into flame, similar to an earthquake, will not be controllable by man.
During the night of September 21st 1992 preceding the morning of my 58th birthday night, I
received a revelation that the treacherous covenant known as the Oslo Accord that was the infamous
covenant leading to death would soon be signed. It was the ‘Unholy Peace’ of Daniel Ch 9:27 would
occur between the following two annual trumpetings of the Shofar, announcing the Jewish New
Year that fell between the 1992 and 1993 in the Gregorian calendar (which is of solar year that
former Christendom observes). The Oslo Peace Accord had been formulated at the UN Conference in
Madrid, following America’s invasion of Iraq in response to Iraq having invading and occupying neighbouring
Kuwait in 1991. The Peace Accord between Palestine and Israel was signed in Washington by the then
Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir and Yassir Arafat on behalf of the Palestinian National Authority (PNA),
and witnessed throughout the world by TV viewers on September 13 th 1993.
I awoke one morning during Lent 1993 hearing the authoritive and increasingly recognised
voice of the Lord telling me to reserve a room at Christ Church in Jerusalem. On the day I received
confirmation of my reservation of accommodation my Bible readings were from Luke Ch 24:49: “I
am going to send you what My Father has promised; but stay in the holy city until you have
been clothed with power from on high.” This was my third visit to Israel; I arrived at
Christchurch (having been commissioned to listen to Jesus and receive revelation at the Wailing
(aka Western) Wall at Rosh HaShanah (Tishrei 1, the Jewish New Years Day, Wednesday
September 15th), and at Yom Kippur (Tishrei 10, the Day of Atonement) which fell on Friday
September 24th following my arrival to attend the 1993 Feast of Tabernacles (Succoth, aka the
Feast of Booths, the eight day between Tishrei 15 and the 22nd day celebration of gratitude for the
produce of the harvested orchards and vines). I arrived at 3.00 a.m at Christchurch on the morning
of Rosh HaShanah (which did not begin until sunset on that day). In response to my ringing the
night bell at Christchurch (which is famous as being the banner of the [Anglican] Church Mission to
the Jews [CMJ], which organised conferences and tours through Shoresh Tours, having many
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rooms for overnight accommodation and a Church on the premises, providing a Christian identity
to Christianity’s Jewish Heritage), the security night porter unlocked the gates. The anniversary of
the first day of the Feast of Tabernacles commences every 15th day of the seventh month following
Passover but six months later. The tension of the 15 days of solemnity leading to Passover, and
the eight days of denial through the Feast of Unleavened Bread remembered each new year are
reflected in the ten Days of Awe of the seventh month of Tishrei.32 The two festivals are
sovereignly and intimately linked. God ordained that His Divine Calendar would intertwine these
festival days as a special celebration of His Son’s complete ministerial obedience.
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American Evangelists Peter and Christine Darg, with whom I had developed a strong friendship
over the recent years, had entrusted me to deliver some gifts to Ali Khweis, a Christian Arab
prophet, living on the Mount of Olives, to which I had added some gifts of goodwill. I telephoned
Ali, with whom I arranged to have lunch. Ali has a difficult ministry to conduct, for most of the
citizens who live around his home are Muslims, and are resentful of Jews and Arab Christians. Ali
was widely recognised as a healer and a man of ‘The Book’ who ministers much amelioration to
the poor Arab people and many miracles have occurred surrounding his life and ministry.
I found it strange that we were not joined by Ali’s family, either in our conversation or over
lunch, but was advised that this custom is the custom for the entertaining of honoured guests is the
honour of the head of the house. We prayed together both before and after lunch, each time we
prayed it started to rain, which was considered a special blessing, for it is rare for rain to fall in
Jerusalem in September. I returned to Christchurch in time to freshen up, prior to my assignment. I
walked to the Wailing Wall at sundown, at which time Yom Kippur officially starts on the first star
appears in the gathering dusk; tradition insists that the Shofar should not be blown until then. It
was whilst I was searching for this star, that my attention became focused on the moon rising over
the parapets. Suddenly I clearly heard (in my mind and not my ears) the Lord speaking to me.
There was a tumultuous sound as the musical instruments being played by the various
synagogues represented, together with the chanting and singing from the mouths of the
worshippers gathered, was rising to a crescendo, yet the words penetrated through all the
extraneous noise. Jesus said:“The moon you see above the wall is worshipped by many, as is the setting sun. I,
the Creator God, made them for My eternal purposes. The brightness of the moon
is an illusion, for it has no light of its own, the brightness is the reflected light of
the sun. This allusion may be compared with the spiritual light of the Scriptures,
The Lord stated that on the tenth day of this first month (Nisan) a lamb was to be selected and hidden in
the home (set apart), away from the eyes of the Egyptians, and slaughtered at twilight (6.0.pm on the fourth
hidden day the 14th day of Nisan) to be eaten as the Passover meal. From this it can be seen that the
Passover lambs were a type of Messiah (the Pascal Lamb), which Jesus clearly revealed 4,000 years (four
days) after the first sacrificial offering that covered Adam’s nakedness and sin. These four days paralleled the
period of the 4,000 years that Jesus (the true Passover Lamb) had been hidden from mankind’s view. Paine
concluded that the disciples kept two holy assemblies or convocations (which translates as rehearsal for our
future redemption), one at the beginning of the seven days of the Feast of Unleavened Bread and one at the
ending of the Day of Atonement marking the old creation, in fulfilling the spiritually designed ‘Feast of
Abiding in Christ’; believing that God saw the celebration of these two particular convocations as the
inaugural month of an entirely new creation; quoting 2 Corinthians Ch 5:17: “All things have become new”.
In His own words Jesus, as the first-fruits of the resurrection became the first born of the dead (Revelation Ch
1:5); born on the 15th day of seventh month, the day in which the Father declared as the day His beloved
Son’s life was forfeited on humanities behalf.
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for without the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit, there is no revelation of the
Scriptures. Many parliamentarians and church leaders are unrighteous, for they
pay only lip service to My commandments. Many principles of Bible Colleges,
charitable institutions and mission societies follow Me only mechanically and not
supernaturally. They know of Me only with their natural mind, for they do not have
humble spiritual heart, and their mind nurtures a fierce pride in their personal
assessment of their value to the furtherance of the Kingdom. There is a thick veil,
preventing the blind and the deaf from hearing of My bidding in their lives, their
haughtiness has been masked from their eyes, but I know their every thought.
Some leaders followed Me passionately in their earlier days of discipleship but
have since moved far from My love. The temptations of the world and the burdens
of their offices have snared them, temptation proving to be too powerful to resist
for them to continue to walk in the ways of My Son in discipleship. Their minds
have become as weed-choked places, and My word has no life for their darkened
souls. They carry out mechanically, the duties assumed with their offices. The
spiritual light of the kingdom is not in them. Such leaders share the same darkness
as the moon. Yet My brightness will lighten the deepest darkness for those whom I
have chosen, who will hear through spiritual ears the words of enlightenment I
speak; even though the spokesperson I use may be an unholy vessel to speak or
act on my behalf. My word is the spiritual brightness, which may be compared to
the natural brightness of the sun. My children receive spiritual enlightenment from
the sun, as they meditate and internalise what is imparted to them. There is an
individual message of My concern and love for each believer, contained in the
recordings of events leading to the Cross, and My sacrifice for all, but accepted
only by those who have received and retained a knowledge into their hearts, where
the true brightness indwells, of My Gospel message. I will expose the deepest
darkness; many will be unmasked in the remaining days, both inside the Church
and in the world, says the Lord your God.”
Following my experience at the Wailing Wall, I spent some time before going to bed, writing down
the collected thoughts that had been impressed upon me.
During that night, I had a spiritual experience through a vision, during which I was transported
on eagle’s wings, into highlands and through valleys, over the seas, and through the coastlands. In
every country I saw the native believers of each land, each of whom was wearing their national
costumes. The priesthood of those lands stood alongside these believers in their own distinctive
attire. At their feet were bodies shrouded in the national flag of their own particular nations. Once I
understood what was being shown to me, Jesus spoke to me:“The proud triumphalistic nationalist, the egotistical religious separatist, and the
rebellious individualist, will perish. Those people who scheme to harmonise the
differing cultures and religions through marginalising My gospel of redemption will
see their plans frustrated. But to all those who belong to Me will be given white
robes of peace and righteousness in exchange for their present clothing. Heed the
warning, live peaceably in the land until I return for you. Do not be swayed by each
persuasive new teaching, nor of counterfeit miracles that the evil one may conjure
up. Do not deviate from the path either to the left or to the right. Go forward
confidently or stand resolutely when commanded so to do by Me, whilst you wait
to hear My command for any further action. Remember that the father of all lies, the
Prince of darkness, is always prowling around, seeking to divide the body of
believers, by confusing their minds with hypnotic and powerful seductive
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suggestions, seemingly logical and beneficial, but if not resisted, his words will be
as the hook in the mouth of a fish, drawing those so swayed, away from My
protection. Exercise much wisdom and great caution, as you test and examine any
signs offered by those who assume to speak in My name, who wear the mantle of
an office to which I have not appointed them. The Prince of darkness will produce
counterfeit miracles, using self opinionated, unspiritual leaders, full of their own
importance, who will manufacture phenomena but produce no lasting fruit, but I
will turn these events to My purposes. The reign on earth of the Prince of Peace
will not tarry, even now He is at the door, there will be no delay to My purposes,
says the Lord your God.”
That night I received a further vision:-I was watching Spirit-filled Christians lining up in
columns of two, facing each other, as a guard of honour. In their hands, they held palm
branches, and the ground between the rows was strewn with palm branches. People were
walking singly and in pairs and families, down the formed aisles, into a huge garden in
which was the reception area. The guests were bruised and battered, filthy and ragged,
smelling strongly and each was self-conscious of their filthy appearances. They were
welcomed by smiling hand-maidens, dressed in flowing white robes, each one wearing a
flower in her hair, (thereby suggesting to my mind, peace and tranquillity) and allaying fears.
The guests were led to the cleansing room, to be bathed and scented with aromatic oils;
and given similar white robes to those worn by the hand maidens. Each aisle led into this
central garden which expanded to cope with all the new guests, and the aisles were
continuously moving further outwards into the world, to accommodate all the guests.
Eventually these guards of honour extended into every nation in the world and the garden
party was about to begin. Jesus said:“Come see and hear, look and listen! That which I purposed from the laying of the
foundation of the world is about to happen. The signs are clear to all who will seek
Me. My messengers run before Me to announce My arrival. The clouds will roll up
like a scroll, and the heavens will reveal that which was formerly concealed. My
firework displays will be spectacular, the like of which no man has ever seen, and
will be a proclamation of praise to My finished work. The curtain that was torn into
two parts is now lifted, and the last act in which all of creation is an actor is due to
start. Mankind will fall silent as the light of the sun fades in the presence of My
Shekinah glory. The world will stand amazed at My imperial majesty. Come to the
banquet, all are welcome who will receive Me. Fine food, beautiful music and
rapturous sights await you. Quieten your racing heart, no one who has been
invited will be absent from the wedding party. You will not arrive too early nor will
your arrival be delayed. Come as you are, you are very welcome. Do not be fearful
of those events that have still to happen, all that are Mine are safely harvested.
Have I not been constant in My love for you? Did the Father not reveal His holiness
and sinlessness through Me. Now all My promises of reward for obedience in
performance will be fulfilled. Behold I have set before you a table of gastronomic
delights, as My love overwhelms you, says the Lord your God.”
Having written the dream and the prophecy down, I drifted back into sleep and received a cameo
of the two would-be peace-partners PM Yitzak Rabin and Mr Yasser Arafat the leader of the PLO,
haggling over Jerusalem, like the two mothers over a child (as in 1 Kings Ch 3:16-27).
On Shabbat, I had been invited to the home of Lance Lambert, the author and prophet, to
have tea, and was delighted to meet his other guest David Dolan, an American journalist, who I
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had previously befriended on one of his lecture tours of the UK. We naturally spoke of the recent
Peace Accord, and I told them of the cameo of the previous night. I offered the opinion that Mr
Rabin probably believed that he could always slow down the process of integration, and that the
Peace Accord was forced on Mr Rabin by American foreign policy. I foreknew from the revelation
given to me one year earlier that Mr Arafat would not honour this Accord, and an impasse would
be brought about by acts of terrorism in Israel’s Jewish communities, and sabotage of military
installations, which would cause the Peace Accord to founder.
On returning to Christchurch, I spoke with three American ladies, who were told whilst on a
guided tour, that the Rabbinate is aware of the Ark of the Covenant's location. That Shabbat night I
received an extraordinary vision:
I was watching a kneeling priest offering supplication to God over the likely
outcome of King Nebuchadnezzar’s armies carrying off the temple treasures to the
vaults in Babylon. I was told that the praying figure was Jeremiah, and that God
Most High was instructing him to secretly hide the most sacred items in an
underground cave in a quarry outside the city walls. Amongst these most sacred
treasures were the golden Menorah with its seven lamps, the Ark of the Covenant,
the Table of Shewbread, the Incense Altar and the Tent of Meeting. The vision
continued with a pseudo burial procession in which the mourners carried the
coffin, containing the sacred treasures from the Holy of Holies into the final resting
place of a supposed dignitary. The sacred items were openly transported to the
quarry entrance by way of an old but well-used pathway, outside the city walls of
Jerusalem. In times of peace, boulders of all shapes and sizes were quarried from
the quarry, to build walls and homes, but during the siege the besieged Judeans
used the boulders extracted as ammunition.
I read later in 2 Chronicles Ch 26:15 of some skilful war strategists who had built giant
catapults mounted on to mobile platforms, as defensive deterrents that could be moved to
reinforce weaker positions being attacked. Nebuchadnezzar had developed a healthy respect
for these earliest of missile launchers, and established base-camp for his armies behind a siegewall, outside their range, out of his new-found respect of the area between the adversaries being
a no-man’s land. The sacred items were carried into an underground catacomb with many large
caverns off the main passageway in which all manner of items were stored. Only a few
especially trusted confidantes of Jeremiah were invited to help transport the heavy and bulky
sacred items to the cave in which the treasures were to be hidden. Jeremiah dismissed his
companions before sealing the entrance of the cave camouflaging its presence (2 Maccabees
Ch 2:8: records ‘Jeremiah sealed up the entrance’).That passage continues that Jeremiah’s
fellow conspirators (motivated by greed) tried unsuccessfully to locate the whereabouts of the
cave. Jeremiah confronted his unreliable servants, giving credence to my visions, declaring:
“This place shall remain unknown; until God gathers His people together, having forgiven
them. Only at that time will the Lord allow these items to be revealed again, when God’s
glory will be seen by all.” (paraphrased)
On the Sunday over breakfast I befriended Beverley McKinnon an American evangelist, who
was also staying at Christchurch. Beverley had recently returned from missionary work in India, but
previously had worked for the ICEJ in Jerusalem. We attend the morning Communion service, and
the evening service at Christchurch. Beverley invited me to join her and an American couple who
are missionaries in Israel for lunch at the King David Hotel, whom she had not met up with for
years.
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I was awakened on the Monday by Ali knocking on the door of my room, he had called as a
matter of urgency, for he knew in his spirit that the Lord had entrusted me with a revelation of
much significance. I read to Ali all three of the revelatory experiences, and then we prayed that
God’s revelations to me for His will to be fulfilled would occur soon. I believe I was being directed
to study further the apocalyptic significance of this realised eschatology. With the incarnation of
Christ the Kingdom of God has already arrived but the role of Jesus had changed from servant
king to Messianic King (John Ch 11-Ch 12:11). My autobiography took eight years to complete, but
latterly I knew I should update its contents in view of the fact that many of the revelatory
prophecies have been fulfilled, for I believe I received enlightenment as to when He is to return.
I attended the Shoresh conference on the Hebrew Roots of Christianity at Christchurch
throughout the week, which ended on the Friday. On the Tuesday Beverley took me to the ICEJ
HQ and introduced me to people I would not otherwise have met, but whose ministry I really
respected. Later we sat in the Jewish Quarter of the old city, eating a falafel for lunch, where I
started up a conversation with two Jewesses; one was an American lawyer, who has a role in the
USA collecting money to support Jewry leaving their place of birth in former Communist Russia,
who chose to settle in America. She was visiting her cousin at this season of Succoth, as a
pilgrimage. We arranged to meet for lunch at a restaurant the following Monday. Beverley wanted
to take an earlier return flight, and because Pauline had told me over the telephone that she and
Daniel were unwell I too decided I should return earlier; we went to the Airlines public office and we
both successfully changed our tickets, which cost quite a bit extra. I also knew that I would be
unable to attend the Qumran Experience on Yom Kippur that began the ICEJ festivities, having
arranged over the telephone to spend that weekend with the Weinberg’s. I had previously written
to the Weinberg’s advising them that I would be attending a Shoresh Conference in 1993. They
had replied inviting me to spend a few days at their home, which I was anxious to do. I gave my all
inclusive ticket of every event to one of the staff at Christchurch, who could not afford to buy such
a ticket; although I did reserve the right to use the ticket for the two morning sessions on the
Monday and Tuesday. Sasha drove me to his home, on the Friday evening, asking me almost
apologetically if I would speak with a young female friend the following day, who wanted to learn of
Jesus. We stopped to pray at his synagogue before enjoying a meal with his family. On retiring to
bed I was surprised that on seeking what to say to this girl, in order to reveal the Messiah to her,
Jesus spoke saying: “Yes speak to her of Me, but do not try to turn her into a Christian.” This
was the first time that I became aware that God really has set the Jew apart as followers as Christ.
The Jews do not have to renounce the Mosaic Law, or recant of their Judaism, or worship as
Gentiles. God is only interested in their accepting the new covenant of Jeremiah Ch 31:31; as was
written of in Acts Ch 15:11, at the Council Meeting in Jerusalem, where it clearly states that Jewish
believers in Christ are saved by grace, just as we Gentiles are. It should be understood, that the
Jeremiah passage is speaking of Jews having their hearts softened, not Gentiles! Gentiles receive
softened hearts on becoming ‘born again’ supernaturally in the spirit, a process that usually starts
from reading the Bible, or through spending time with believers, who invariably share their
testimony of encountering the living Lord Jesus. I told Sasha of my meeting with the two Jewesses;
and the role of the American lawyer of raising finances amongst American Jews to support Jewry
leaving their former home in Communist Russia, and that of her cousin in integrating new families
into Orthodox Israeli society; and of our arrangement to meet for lunch on the following Monday.
Sasha asked if he might join us for lunch.
On the Shabbat following the departure of Sasha’s friend, I gave the Weinberg’s the
considerable gift of money that the Lord had suggested I should bring as a free-will offering. Irene’s
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eyes flooded with tears, for their needs were many. I swallowed hard when Sasha revealed to me
that he was supporting seven Russian scientists all aged over 50 years, (with families to support),
who would have no employment in Israel, if Sasha was not providing it. Besides his regular
employment, Sasha was putting in ten-hours a day, experimenting with the development of new
drugs and bio-technical products that he could commercially market. His wish was to offer job
opportunities to his Russian compatriots through starting his own business. On the Saturday
Sasha took me on a conducted tour of the Weizmann Institute, where he had worked for many
years.33 Although it had been a very comfortable way of life, with good wages and conditions of
employment, Sasha had dreams to fulfil. He was determined to make products for export that
would swell Israel’s coffers. He had already manufactured a new drug that was bringing in several
thousand shekels each year. During Irene’s absence in England her job had been given to a
better-qualified Russian male scientist. She had managed to find alternative work in an armament
factory, but the manual work was heavy and repetitive, and she was uncomplainingly suffering
from poor health, and, due to the steroids she was taking, had put on a lot of weight, which added
to the physical weakening of her body. Following Sunday lunch Sasha drove me back to
Christchurch in time for the evening service. I mentioned that I wouldn’t be attending the Feast of
Tabernacles as I was returning home on an earlier flight. I was going home on the Wednesday. On
Tuesday evening the American Jewess came to Christchurch, unbeknown to her cousin, for she
wanted me to explain my faith in Christ to her.
After she departed I retired to my bedroom, whilst sleeping I received a vision:
I was observing a familiar early evening Middle Eastern scene, in which I was
standing in a narrow pedestrianised street. The scene was idyllic and one which
has occasionally returned to me during the night hours. Everybody present had
responded to my invitation of drinks and nibbles. Many guests sat relaxing on the
stone steps leading to the first-floor entrance of the house. Guests, who chose to
wander through my home, threaded their way without difficulty between those
sitting on the steps. I circulated from group to group, greeting new arrivals,
reminding them of earlier shared experiences in our lives. As we spoke of absent
friends, so the friends we spoke of materialised to mingle amongst us. Many of my
friends chose to stand on the lounge balcony overlooking the street, where it was
cooler. They called out to my neighbours, on the balconies of their homes, who
were also taking advantage of the cool evening breeze. Although we were in a
congested area, the space we occupied expanded to allow for the extra guests
arriving, whilst the space contracted, as some groups dispersed, similar to the
action of a lung inhaling or expelling air when breathing deeply.
It was a peculiar sensation to experience areas of space alternately widening out and narrowing,
as my spiritual (subconscious?) mind, and my eyes focused on the scene. I recalled other visions
in which I had the freedom to see over horizons and around corners, and walk through solid
The Scientist magazine's annual survey of workplaces in academia around the world named the Weizmann
Institute of Science in Rehovat, as the best academic workplace outside the U.S.. The survey is taken by
thousands of researchers in institutions around the world and the Weizmann Institute has been ranked first
several times before, consistently appearing in the top five non-U.S. institutions. It is one of the world's
leading multidisciplinary research institutions, with five faculties mathematics and computer science, physics,
chemistry, biochemistry and biology divided into 17 scientific departments.
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objects such as rock faces, or alternatively pass through closed doors, as if my body had
dematerialised, whilst my body and mind had been in a ‘disembodied state of existence.’ 34
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The word of knowledge I received from Christ on my departure was that, the celebrations
were not the reason for my visit, but rather my willingness to come to Israel and my
obedience, to obey my instructions. I was commanded to make a pilgrimage to Bethlehem on
Christmas Eve 1994, to visit the Church of the Nativity which would be the last Christmas under
the supervision of the Israeli government before the hand-over to the Palestinians took place, and
afterwards I was to pray at the Wailing Wall for further insights. I knew from my previous
experiences that I would be given further revelation during that visit. I had already felt motivated to
attend the Shoresh Conference in September 1994, but I was delighted at the prospect of including
my family for a winter holiday in Eilat, on the Red Sea coast, over the 1994 Christmas period, as
part of my assignment. I did not know at that stage that the ‘Peace Accord’ between Israel and
Jordan would be signed just prior to our family holiday, and that I would also visit both Jordan and
Egypt during this pilgrimage.
On December 21st I travelled in a tourist coach, mainly filled with Israeli citizens, across the
recently opened border crossing, between Aqaba in Jordan and Eilat. My visit was made possible
by the recent signing of the ‘warm peace’ treaty between Jordan and Israel. Our coach was
delayed at the border for three tedious hours, before being allowed to proceed. I am sure
procedures will improve as more tourists seek to visit. I was very surprised at the warm greetings
extended to me in Jordan by shopkeepers, soldiers, Bedouins and the general public. Aqaba is a
very modern, thriving town with a 5% Christian population. I was assured that Christian Arabs live
in harmony with the majority Muslim population and worship in relative freedom. Having travelled
through graffiti sprayed, litter laden, poverty ridden Arab communities in Israel, I was pleasantly
surprised by the different spiritual ambience. Our guide repeatedly said that Muslims, Jews and
Christians worshipped the same God, and that we chose to worship this God through our different
customs. I made a point of letting it be widely known to my fellow tourists that as a Christian I
disagreed with the understanding of our tour guide of the one true God, but no one showed any
interest in my views, even if some of my travelling companions privately disagreed with the views
of the guide.
Following a good lunch, in a first class restaurant in Aqaba, where surprisingly to me we had
been able to buy alcohol, we were joined by the managing director of our tour company, who
Some months later, I became very excited on reading of the calculations made by two physicists, John
Schwarz and Michael Green. Using a complicated mathematical formula, they were able to prove that each of
the three known dimensions of ‘space’ were shared by two further dimensions, which, combined with the
dimension of 'time', added up to ten separate dimensions occupying the same area. Their theory proved that
all four natural forces present in the universe, that is, gravity, electromagnetism, and both the strong and
weak nuclear forces, which although fluctuating in their mass or presence, are strictly governed in their
combined total force. I have always believed that there were more than the three dimensions of length, height
and width, and of course Einstein proved ‘time’ to be a fourth dimension (he also suggested a fifth dimension
in which good and evil forces opposed each other). The two scientists concluded that although the particles
may change in shape, size or effect, the remainder always add up to the same total availability. It was
supernaturally possible for Jesus to pass through one dimension to another on appearing to His disciples
after His death. I believe that when Jesus answered Pilate’s questions of John Ch 18:36 by stating that His
kingdom was not of this world, He may have been implying that part of His kingdom was existent in other
dimensions of this world. I was greatly reassured that I was not suffering from an over-active imagination, for
these scientists have confirmed my spiritual experiences to my satisfaction.
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accompanied us to Petra, some two hours coach journey from Aqaba. His reason for
accompanying us was to celebrate his signing of an annual contract with a chain of hotels of which
the recently opened Edom Hotel of Petra, in which we stayed, was part. Apparently, villagers are
stricter in their observance of Mohammed’s decrees than are the inhabitants of the cities. The
hotels were ‘dry’ and our host had to transport beer and wine from Aqaba to Petra in our coach. As
guests we were entertained that evening by a troop of uniformed Hashemite soldiers, one of whom
carried a ceremonial sword. Some soldiers also in uniform were musicians, and one of them
played the bagpipes, others danced. This group regularly appear before King Hussein of Jordan,
playing their musical instruments and dancing, therefore we were doubly flattered.
The troop presented a cabaret for us, inviting us to join in the dancing. It was pleasing to see
Jordanian Arab staff, customers and troops dancing with Israeli Jews. At one stage in the
proceedings, I was swinging the ceremonial sword above my head, dancing and singing within a
circle of hand clapping, feet tapping fellow guests!! In a later solemn but heartfelt speech, we were
assured that the Jordanians were very pleased to be eating, drinking and dancing with their Israeli
neighbours. My understanding is that providing tourism continues to increase in Jordan, Islamic
fundamentalists will find it difficult to persuade Jordanians to assume a war footing against their
Jewish neighbours, but I am afraid that the Jordanian Arabs hatred of Jews is endemic; no Jew is
allowed to own land or property in Jordan. The ‘warm peace’ is not as secure as many world
government spokespersons would have us believe. Early in 1996, King Hussein said that he would
nullify his treaty with Israel if the Israeli government did not fully implement the Oslo Accord.
In my bedroom later that evening I watched an interview on TV, given by the Minister of
Tourism of Jordan, who stated that the Jordanian government has engaged a team of Japanese
businessmen to advise the Jordanians on tourism and that his government were having regular
meeting with the government of Israel, on joint projects to improve the standard of life of their
respective citizens through joint national networks. There were four more hotels under construction
in Petra at the time of my visit, but there were plans to increase the total number of hotels over the
following 12 months to 20 hotels, following which time no further development was envisaged.
On Boxing Day I took my family on a coach tour to Cairo, where we stayed overnight. Our trip
was part of my pilgrimage, because I knew that Jesus had spent some of his early life in Egypt, but
I also wanted to visit the pyramids and museums. I have now travelled on the highway that was
written of in Isaiah Ch 19:23, which although built, still remains closed to tourists without visas at
the Saudi Arabia border crossing. We spent a few more days relaxing before we returned to
England.
On the day I returned home from Israel, an Arab suicide car bomber blew himself up through
ramming into an army bus with his car filled with explosives, killing several young soldiers and
injuring others. Police cordoned off many of the streets in the old city that evening, and my taxi to
the airport had to take a circuitous route. It was revealed to me that there would be an escalation of
such occurrences in the future, which would lead to the total breakdown in the Peace Accord.
During Black September 1972, the Jordanian army massacred thousands of invading Arab
Palestinians, in reaction against the abortive attempt of the PLO to invade and occupy Jordan.
Jordan did not want an alien armed militia in their land (as had happened in Lebanon), but neither
did the citizens of Israel. It was revealed to me that the UN would be acting as the broker for the
one-world government, and the UN will be punished in accordance with Zechariah Ch 12:2-3:‘I am going to make Jerusalem a cup that sends all the surrounding peoples
reeling. Judah will be besieged as well as Jerusalem. On that day when all the
nations of the earth are gathered against her, I will make Jerusalem an immovable
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rock. All who try to work against Israel will themselves be injured.’ (that is, suffering
defeat, disgrace and disaster)
My entire mission had been a God inspired incident, there was not one feature, on any day that
was not ordained by God, and I had absorbed much spiritual input.
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I returned to Israel as part of a tour party on Monday October 31 st 1994 for a Shoresh tour and
conference. On arrival in Israel, we were taken by coach to a hostel in Haifa, owned by the
Anglican Church of Christchurch that in later years became the Carmel Assembly I was awakened
early by a voice telling me to listen for the storm. All I could hear on straining my ears was the wind
gently rustling the leaves of the trees outside my room, but nothing violent or disturbing. On arising
for breakfast, it was apparent that no rain had fallen. I was mystified at the instruction I had
received, but later read that the night of our arrival an intense storm had blown across the sea,
striking Egypt with a force seldom experienced in the Middle East. What was shortly to be
experienced were the winter rains, which fall from the ending of Succoth to February each year,
whilst the latter rains fall prior to the spring season during March and April. Our tour guide was
Professor Hal Ronning (a Lutheran pastor from the Institute of Holy Land Studies), our tour started
with visiting El Muhraqa (the place of burning on Mount Carmel overlooking the Kishon valley),
where Elijah slaughtered the prophets of Baal. We then drove on to visit Biblical sites in Nazareth,
on our departure from Nazareth to visit Gamla the sky darkened and the winds gusted, very soon
we were experiencing a full-blown electric storm with thunder. We arrived at our hotel, on the far
side of the Lake of Galilee, facing the former Roman city of Tiberius, but as we turned away from
Tiberius to reach our hotel, we found ourselves in a weather warp, outside the eye of this storm
and with no rain. Having prepared myself for the evening meal, I sat on my veranda enjoying the
spectacular lightning show and violent thunderstorm over Tiberius across the Lake Galilee when
suddenly Tiberius was plunged into darkness, owing to a power cut, yet our hotel lighting was
unaffected. I recalled what Jesus had said in Matthew Ch 5:14-16, and thought it eerie that even a
large city may not show its light if God so decreed, I knew this whole experience was to develop
my servitude in my remaining years of service.35
35’
I later read that tens of thousands of Egyptians were driven from their homes by rivers of water inundating
the low-lying land. In the town of Dronka, floodwater derailed and overturned a fuel train, which was then
struck by lightning and ignited. The oil soaked waters gushed down into the heart of the town, causing much
further damage and the death of 500 people. The storm then rampaged north east into Israel, where at least
three more deaths were reported. Israel’s winter rains had commenced, accompanied by a special
announcement for me to pay attention to the signs occurring around me, and snippets of information I might
gather from supernaturally sensitive people in the future. The seafront road in Tiberius as we departed the
following morning was 600mm under water, making it impossible for cars to drive through. Israel received its
annual expectation of rainfall over this year; in that one week! Throughout our touring week we experienced
daily and nightly storms. Rivers and reservoirs were filling, whilst at the same time topsoil was washed onto
the roads, making driving conditions hazardous. I received a revelatory word that this seasonal inundation of
rain would be followed by many years of drought. I believed the Lord was showing me that spiritual streams
of living water would continue to flow continuously, into the Promised Land, as Jesus was increasing His
protection of His chosen people, until He returns to rule. I was directed to the passage in 2 Kings Ch 3,
(Jesus invariably points me to the Scriptures) in which Elisha was asked by the three kings attacking Moab to
seek the mind of the Lord with regard to the outcome of their endeavours. God’s response was to dig ditches
to reserve the water that would arrive, but which would not fall as rain. These ditches would become
reservoirs of salvation, which would overflow into rivers of living water. It is well reported that there is a large
reservoir of water under Jerusalem, which could be very significant if surface water becomes polluted. I was
told that the spiritual streams of prayers would lead to a flowering of a prolific fig tree of many Messianic
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The following day our tour party (minus one poor fellow who had suffered a heart-attack, and
was taken by ambulance to Jerusalem visited the derelict towns of Korazin, Capernaum and
Bethsaida, the towns that Jesus cursed and judged (Matthew Ch 11:20-23). On day six of our tour
we debussed from our coach at a high point on the Golan Heights, but the peak of Mount Hermon,
which could be seen in the distance, was far higher. Below us in the valley was a small UN
encampment; the presence of which would not have deterred a knife-carrying settler, let alone a
heavily-armed, determined guerrilla force, which might carry out a terrorist attack on their declared
enemy, the Jew. A small, abandoned Syrian township could be seen, just across the border. Only
a few miles from where we viewed this scene, but beyond the horizon, was the Syrian capital of
Damascus. As we drove on to Caesarea Philippi, our coach passed a fenced, and barbed wire
enclosed Israeli settlement, which displayed national flags and slogans of defiance, written in
English on signboards, defying the Israeli government to remove the settlers (mostly Jews who
had made aliyah) to homes safer from Arab attack. A few miles further along, the ruins of the
Nimrod crusader castle came into view. I sensed a ringing in my ears, and a pounding in my heart,
as I received a word confirming that a crusader spirit of warfare and death hung over each hillock
of this area of Mount Hermon. Christ’s spoke saying that “There will never be peace on the
Golan Heights until Christ returns. Peace may well be declared, but it will have no lasting
benefit.”
After a picnic lunch at Caesarea-Philippi (a high place where Peter received his divine
revelation of Jesus being the Messiah 2,000 years ago), our coach travelled down the Jordan
Valley into Jericho, (a low place) on our journey to Christ Church in Jerusalem.36 Most of our tour
party chose to visit Qumran, but along with four fellow passengers I chose to take a dip in the
Dead Sea, at a spot in the wilderness well below sea level. I had not been advised of the safest
way to get into the sea, which is to walk in backwards, until floating. No, I dived into the sea off a
diving board! The pain in my eyes was excruciating, it must have been similar to the pain
experienced by a person who is sprayed with chemicals by a would-be mugger, which made me
realise how violent was this style of physical abuse. Whilst recovering from my distress, I realised
that my recently purchased 9 carat replacement gold wedding ring, had slipped irretrievably from
my finger into the sea. I had paid £60 to replace the original 18 carat gold wedding ring which
Pauline had bought for me, which had broken in two. The chemical properties in the salt water
caused the water to become as slippery as soap, one of the properties of glycerine. I believe that
an earthquake in 1999 will cause fresh water from Mount Zion and Mount Hermon to be diverted
into what had formerly been the Dead Sea, thereby changing the salt water into fresh water
believers in Christ before He returns, despite the strident victimisation of the Ultra-Orthodox followers of
Judaism.
36 Jesus made the same journey to Jericho, the town built on land, below sea level, whilst on His way to
Jerusalem to fulfil His destiny. Whilst in Jericho Jesus attended to the needs of blind Bartimaeus and the tax
collector Zacchaeus. From both these passages, recorded in Luke Ch 19, the believer is given a haunting
revelation of the fulfilment of scriptures. Jesus then told His disciples the parable of the sullen, hateful
subjects (the religious Jews) and the faithful servants (the disciples), detailing their reward for faithful service,
and the loss of reward of the rebellious subjects. In this parable Jesus spoke of a man who was being
commissioned as king, which pointed to His own destiny to die as a servant of mankind, and His ultimate
return to reign as King and later to judge. I believe that this reign will commence early into the 21 st century,
when, if my revelatory impressions are correct, the day of rest in the cosmic week comes into operation. The
day of rest is the 7,000th year period from the creation of the universe, and precedes the final battle of
Armageddon.
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producing life. I believe that the fresh waters will then flow into the Red Sea changing even the sea
water into ‘new’ water. I do have some questions surrounding this miraculous event, but I am
content to wait for the Lord’s revelation in the fullness of time.
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That I felt at peace over the loss was probably due to the fact that I knew I was insured against
such events. On my arrival in Jerusalem, I reported the loss of my wedding ring to the police. In a
revelation that night it was impressed upon me that I was making a similar spiritual journey to the
last journey of Jesus. God was preparing me for a special undertaking. I had to be prepared in my
heart to sacrifice my ambitions, and losing my worldly wealth. I had experienced excruciating
discomfiture on diving into the Dead Sea, but in the future I might be subjected to excessive
interrogation, as well as losing the support of my loved ones. I must be prepared even to lay down
my life if called upon so to do, and lose all that I hold dear, both materially and spiritually. I was
guilty of allowing my mind to be immediately distracted in seeking for some immediate protection.
(out of inquisitiveness, I did enquire of my insurance broker whether and how much I could claim. I
was advised that if I could get a jewellers estimate, for any amount, I would be refunded the full
replacement cost, less £50. I did obtain a jeweller’s estimate that based the replacement cost of
my wedding ring on my statement that the ring that I had lost was an 18 carat gold signet ring,
bought at our marriage 16 years earlier. The written estimate was for £295, which the jeweller said
was a modest replacement cost. Needless to say, I was not tempted and did not make a claim. I
knew instinctively that if I had proceeded with the insurance claim I would lose a reward to be
received later in heaven. That I toyed with the thought, as one does in whichever area temptation
rears its ugly head, might well mean that I suffer some loss in heaven, but the God of grace is not
unaware of earthly temptations.
I visited my friend, the prophet Ali Khweis at his home on the Mount of Olives, with whom I
shared my kaleidoscopic experiences. He confirmed that I had heard and interpreted correctly that
which God was revealing to me. It had been placed in my heart to bring an offering equivalent to
that which I had given my Russian Jewish friend Sasha in 1993, in support of Ali’s ministry, which I
knew to be greatly needed. Without preamble Ali began to prophesy over me. As he finished
speaking his blessings, he threw a blanket over my shoulder, symbolically covering me in a cloak. I
was reminded of the empowerment of Elisha by Elijah, and Elisha’s wish for a double portion of the
power given to Elijah. I prayed along these lines in response to Ali’s blessing. Ali said that although
the blanket had no magical properties, he believed that through the exercising of my faith,
supernatural occurrences would be gifted in supernatural ways. The blanket now graces our bed at
home, where it will remain as a continuous blessing. Having been spiritually excited, our
conversation then switched to matter of factly discussing a reign of terror and intimidation in which
my friend Ali and his family were entrapped.
I had been alarmed to see a hand axe in Ali’s armchair, I saw it as symbolic. In reply to my
questioning, Ali said that he kept the axe within easy reach for protection, against a surprise
Islamic attack. Ali said that an armed group from the PLO had visited his home one night, to advise
Ali that a property he owns, which is rented out, but which Ali would like to sell (in order to finance
the needs of his family and ministry), was being commandeered by the PLO on the threat of death
if he raised any objection. Ali’s family desperately needed the money that the sale of the house
would provide and were distraught with fear because of these intimidating threats. The Palestinian
National Authority (PNA) was surreptitiously buying (acquiring through intimidation??) any property
and land in east Jerusalem that came to their notice as being offered for sale. In the old city of
Jerusalem the property that the PLO knew to be owned by Arabs, they coerced by threats of
violence. Ali decided to use the power of the Israeli courts to break this impasse, which could drag
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on for two years. He was not frightened by the threats, he trusts totally in God’s provision for him
and his family. Ali was aware that funds sent from Europe meant to alleviate the position of the
poverty stricken Palestinian Arabs, have been siphoned off to fund armed extremist groups. Ali had
heard from a Swedish official who supports his ministry that money was sent through the PNA that
had specifically been designated in writing to support Ali’s ministry. The officials to whom the
Swedes sent the money were evasive and later denied they had received any money from that
source. All that I have written of in this paragraph became common knowledge a few months later
and the experience was shared by many other despairing Christian Arab agencies.
The relating of the incident sounds so improbable as to be almost unbelievable, but some
months after returning home, I read of investigations undertaken by the Vienna based UN Relief
and Works Agency, who themselves had been alerted to financial irregularities and confirmed that
this threatening procedure was being practised by the PLO. In The Independent (a UK
newspaper), of July 31st 1995, was a report that Jim Saxton of the National Security Council of
America, had received information that funds sent to improve conditions of the Arabs in the self
rule areas of Israel, were being illegally diverted to finance secret property purchases in
Jerusalem, to bribe and enrich Mr Arafat and his associates and to subvert the parliamentary
process of Israel. A director of the PNA wrote a letter dated August15 th, to the Treasury Secretary
of the Palestinian Economic Council for Development and Reconstruction, which was leaked to the
press. The contents confirm that the aim was to spread the activities and influence of the PNA
inside Jerusalem. Surreptitiously US$87m has been diverted from America alone. Saxton asked
that the Clinton administration refrained from sending a further US$500m which had been
earmarked for the PNA, pending further investigation and explanation.
I was not surprised to hear that Ali through an influential Jordanian contact was meeting an
official of the Jordanian government the following week, with whom he was discussing an
evangelistic crusade into Jordan. Whilst we were talking, Ali answered a knock on his door; a
woman entered and introduced herself. This widowed lady of the Muslim faith, having four children
to support had travelled by bus from Hebron, several hours previously. Ali had never met her
before, but she knew of his reputation as being a man of ‘The Book’, hence her visit. He listened to
her attentively and sympathetically questioned her. Ali had many such visitors throughout each
day. Having heard the plea of the distressed, he then prayed with his visitors in the name of Jesus,
whilst seeking guidance over how her family may best be helped. In this case Ali asked me to pray
for his visitor, joyfully telling me that the widow was smiling happily having accepted the prayer I
offered to Jesus on her behalf. On leaving she kissed me on my forehead, which is unheard of in
this culture. I had left my back-pack, which contained my camera and some presents, in the taxi in
which I had travelled to Ali’s house, but just as Ali had assured me, my property was returned to
me, intact, at the taxi rank. It has been my experience of Palestinian Arabs that they are invariably
polite, they are not thieves, and do not take advantage of tourists. Later that day whilst I was
meditating over the days experiences, my attention was drawn to John Ch 1:23, in which John
quoted from Isaiah Ch 40:3:- ‘I am a solitary voice calling. In the desert, prepare the way of the
Lord. Make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God’ (paraphrased).
At the end of the conference, Sasha met me at Jaffa Gate and drove me to his new factory
premises, where he stored, and also blended, the ingredients of the cordial formerly unobtainable
in Israel. He told me of his recent business visit to Russia, to cement a trading deal, in which he
would become the sole agent for importing the ingredients that when blended together, become a
cordial that the Russian émigrés cannot buy in Israel but love to drink. He distributed supplies of
this cordial, which Russians love to drink, to supermarkets and shops throughout Israel from this
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factory, where he stored, and also blended, the ingredients of the cordial under controlled
temperatures. Sasha told me that he had taken my gift of last year, as a sign from God to leave his
former employment and to start his own business. Unfortunately his business acumen was not
extensive. Many retailers had not honoured their commitment to settle their accounts with his
company, for the cordials that were ordered at wholesale prices, and he was deeply in debt to his
bank. I shared the weekend at his home, but became increasingly aware that Sasha was a
compassionate scientist and not a business man.
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A large consignment of ingredients was at Haifa docks awaiting Custom’s revenue clearance,
but Sasha could not obtain sufficient funds to release this essential consignment. I offered Sasha
the money to cover the release, but he would not hear of it. He had planned to ask his bank to take
a 50% share of his business (for US$120,000) to enable him to continue trading. He confided in
me, that recently he had been experiencing heart pains, but in view of the hours he has been
working, and the stress of the new business, I was not surprised to hear this. Fortunately, Irene
was finally appointed to Sasha’s previous post, in the pharmaceutical company that he had
resigned from, which paid a better salary than her previous job as a factory worker had, and was
lighter work. She had returned to the field of her expertise for which she was well qualified. Her
health had improved as her self esteem had grown. We then continued to his hometown
synagogue in Rehovat for Friday prayers, after which we drove to his home. Irene looked as well
as she had at our first meeting. Owing to cut-backs and restructuring, the laboratory in which Irene
had been employed was relocated to an industrial site where the government taxes were lower;
unfortunately the laboratory was farther from Irene’s home meaning that more money and time
were spent on travelling to work. It was a God-send that she retained her new job.
That evening we enjoyed a family meal in the family’s Succoth, a purpose built, but temporary
dining room. His other guests were a Russian couple, aged about 70 years. The husband was a
dignified looking man, his wife was very frail. Later Sasha told me that his friends were virtually
homeless and penniless, relying on charity to survive. The Russian Army had employed the
husband, previously a senior civil engineer, until he made aliyah. In order to finance their
livelihood, he was reduced to bookbinding, formerly his hobby, when he could find any paid work at
all. Sasha had spent a great deal of energy trying to persuade Russian families who live in his
home town of Rehovat, to form themselves into a co-operative social group, with the aim of
welcoming and supporting new Russian immigrants moving into the area, who would appreciate a
helping hand to settle into their new environment, but, this project had, unfortunately, not caught
the imagination of his compatriots who were well satisfied with their cosseted lifestyle. On the
Saturday Sasha and I visited some of his (scientific) Russian friends in Western-style estates, in
impressively expensive homes; this was Sasha’s usual routine on Shabbat. Sasha showed me
over the Weizmann Institute, where he had previously worked. I was greatly impressed with all the
amenities for the staff and their families on this many acres of land. 37 Irene has been worried over
the long hours Sasha was working in developing his new business; he has had a mild stroke, and
has not rested in order to recover. I returned by bus to Jerusalem on the Monday, and flew home
the following day, knowing that I would be returning for a family holiday in just six weeks later.
The Scientist magazine's annual survey of workplaces in academia around the world named the Weizmann
Institute of Science in Rehovot, Israel the best academic workplace outside the US. The survey is taken by
thousands of researchers in institutions around the world and the Weizmann Institute has been ranked first
several times before, consistently appearing in the top five non-US institutions. It is one of the world's leading
multidisciplinary research institutions, with five faculties mathematics and computer science, physics,
chemistry, biochemistry and biology - divided into 17 scientific departments.
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On our return trip to Jerusalem, as we negotiated a traffic accident at the roadside (a man was
receiving, what appeared to be futile efforts to keep him alive), Sasha advised me that five people
die every day on the roads of Israel, that he thought to be ‘acceptable’. He told me that even
though the Knesset had instituted sensible compulsory laws in an effort to cut road deaths the laws
were ignored. For this reason alone he could not see why the death of many fewer Israelis each
year, at the hands of Arab terrorists was a great catastrophe. I responded that more than a million
pregnancies had been terminated in Israel since independence, and that world wide, the Jews
themselves had killed as many Jews in the womb as Hitler had managed to accomplish during the
holocaust. Sasha could only shrug his shoulders and shake his head in contemplating the futility of
man, and man’s inability to introduce effective change for the betterment of mankind. The Israeli
statisticians report of April 30th 1996 confirmed that since the establishment of the country of Israel
570,000 road deaths had occurred (a greater figure than the numbers aborted in Israel, but
perhaps more avoidable).
I returned to Israel with Pauline and Daniel on December 15th 2004, for a two week holiday in
Eilat. On December 21st, I travelled without my family in a tourist coach, mainly filled with Israeli
citizens, across the recently opened border crossing, between Aqaba and Eilat. My visit was made
possible by the recent signing of the ‘warm peace’ treaty between Jordan and Israel. Pauline
wisely decided that she would decline the opportunity to visit Jordan. Our coach of tourists was
delayed at the border for three tedious hours, before being allowed to proceed. I was very
surprised at the warm greetings extended to me in Jordan by shopkeepers, soldiers, Bedouins and
the general public. Aqaba is a very modern, thriving town with a 5% Christian population. I was
assured that Christian Arabs live in harmony with the majority Muslim population worship in relative
freedom. Having travelled through graffiti sprayed, litter laden, poverty ridden Arab communities in
Israel, I was pleasantly surprised by the different spiritual ambience.
Following a good lunch, in a first class restaurant in Aqaba (where surprisingly to me we had
been able to buy alcohol), we were joined by the managing director of our tour company, who
accompanied us to Petra, some two hours coach journey from Aqaba. His reason for
accompanying us was to celebrate his signing of an annual contract with a chain of hotels of which
the recently opened Edom Hotel of Petra, in which we stayed, was part. The hotels were ‘dry’, but
our host transported beer and wine from Aqaba to Petra in our coach. As guests we were
entertained that evening by a troop of uniformed Hashemite soldiers, one of whom carried a
ceremonial sword. Some soldiers also in uniform were musicians, and one of them played the
bagpipes whilst others danced energetically. This group regularly appear before King Hussein of
Jordan, playing their musical instruments and performing, therefore we were doubly flattered.
The troop presented a cabaret for us, inviting us to join in the dancing. It was pleasing to see
Jordanian Arab staff, customers and troops dancing with Israeli Jews. At one stage in the
proceedings, I was swinging the ceremonial sword above my head, dancing and singing within a
circle of hand clapping feet tapping fellow guests!! In a later solemn but heartfelt speech, we were
told that the Jordanians were very pleased to be eating, drinking and dancing with their Israeli
neighbours. My understanding is that providing tourism continues to increase in Jordan, Islamic
fundamentalists will find it difficult to persuade Jordanians to assume a war footing against their
Jewish neighbours, but I am afraid that the Jordanian Arabs hatred of Jews is endemic; no Jew is
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allowed to own land or property in Jordan. The ‘warm peace’ is not as secure as many world
government spokespersons would have us believe.38
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In my bedroom later that evening I watched an interview on TV, given by the Minister of
Tourism of Jordan, who stated that the Jordanian government has engaged a team of Japanese
businessmen to advise the Jordanians on attracting tourism and that his government were having
regular meeting with the government of Israel, on joint projects to improve the standard of life of
their respective citizens through joint national networks. There were four more hotels under
construction in Petra at the time of my visit, but there were plans to increase the total number of
hotels over the following 12 months to 20 hotels, following which time no further development had
been presented.
On Christmas Eve, I accompanied my wife and son on a coach which travelled along the Dead
Sea into the Negev Desert, as part of a touring party that were visiting the Church of the Nativity in
Bethlehem. On our arrival in Bethlehem, the passengers of the coach in which we travelled
endured a rigorous police searching at the bus station, before our coach drove through many side
streets where armed Israeli soldiers were strategically placed on street corners in high rise
buildings ensuring that any ‘disturbance’ would be minimal. We joined a queue of traffic attempting
to get closer to our drop off point in Manger Square, where 10,000 (mainly Christian evangelicals)
thronged.
I was acutely aware of the ambience surrounding the Christmas celebrations, and absorbed a
great deal of detail that I had not noticed only five weeks earlier. I knew myself to be an observer, a
watchman looking through spiritual eyes, commissioned to test the thoughts coming to me,
disseminating them before writing down the results of my deliberations. Supernaturally I was aware
of hostile and mocking eyes boring into me, although no one physically harassed me. Some Arabs
of the protesting group were trying to provoke the Israeli soldiers into firing off rounds of
ammunition, which would have caused a riot. Other Arabs had come to gloat over the discomfiture
of the military authorities, and lounged provocatively around the pavements making passage
difficult for our tour party to keep together as a group. Every wall in Bethlehem was covered with
graffiti, many shops were boarded up. Not many buildings had a complete set of window panes,
and the window panes that were whole, without exception were filthy. Litter filled the streets, the
few shops that were open attracted little business. Bethlehem’s population is 85% Muslim; ten
years ago 85% were Christian Arabs. Most of the Christian Arabs have moved away from
Bethlehem owing to the intimidation of the extremist Arab terrorists’ often threatening torture which
has resulted in mutilations, death and rape. Arab Christians are targeted, being euphemistically
called ‘Israeli government informants’ heightening the fear of reprisals against any Arab speaking
to any Jew. There is also the fear of rape of Arab Christian mothers and their daughters, who are
thought of as cattle in Islamic hearts, how that allows them the right to practice bestiality if they
Early in 1996, King Hussein said that he would nullify his treaty with Israel if the Israeli government did not
fully implement the Oslo Accord, as is now known the Peace Accord foundered soon after its institution.
Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah first proposed the Saudi peace initiative in 2002, which was endorsed by the 56
nations of the Arab League. Basically the demand is that Israeli should withdrawal to its pre-1967 borders,
and accepts so-called Arab "refugees" being allowed to “return” (flood) the Jewish state, making the Jews a
minority in their own homeland. In April 2009 President Barack Obama stated that he sees the Saudi initiative
as the basis for making peace between Israel and its neighbours, and indicated that it will be part of his
government's foreign policy.
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choose I cannot imagine or accept. The Christian Arab souvenir shops at this time were struggling
to continue trading profitably, but have since acknowledged that the oppression is irreversible.
Bethlehem has deteriorated into a squalid slum; it is no longer a thriving community. As a youth my
playground had been the derelict houses on the bomb sites surrounding my home in Islington. I
had not found the area dangerous or depressing because I knew of no other way of life. I imagine
it is similar for the Palestinian children today; who have the added trauma of facing armed soldiers,
through a tutored hatred from birth has heightened tension. Arab children have been encouraged
to throw stones at Israeli soldiers, and any vehicles with number plates issued to non-Arabs.
Bethlehem cannot rise as a phoenix above the ashes of its previous glory. It was revealed to me in
1993 that Bethlehem would be handed over to the PLO before Christmas 1995 and that the annual
pageant at the Church of the Nativity would at some time in the future be demeaned and
desecrated. This word of knowledge has now come to pass, with terrorists using this historic
church as a neutrality zone, whilst causing mayhem and disorder through warfare in the streets of
Bethlehem.
Our tour bus later transported us to the Wailing Wall, where I prayed fervently that I might be
increasingly more effective in serving God’s purposes. My prayer was certainly heard at this time,
as I confirmed my willing obedience to serve the Messiah I was advised that I was about to receive
further revelations. Our tour party flew back to Eilat later that evening. At dusk whilst the aeroplane
returning our tour party to Eilat was setting its course, God drew my attention to the panoramic
view of the lights of Jerusalem beneath and of the City of Amman in Jordan a few miles distant.
This was the first time I had flown over the city of Jerusalem at night. It was revealed to me that
God would protect the area of Israel that was illuminated below, but Amman was still the capital
city of a potential aggressor, and the land of Jordan although given by God to the Jews, was
occupied by a Gentile nation. I received a ‘word of knowledge’ that it would be a relatively simple
matter for a fanatical organisation or an individual to fly an aeroplane as a ‘missile’ into the Al Aqsa
Mosque in a suicide attack, killing the worshippers inside; a possibility under serious consideration
by right wing Jewish extremists, 39 and then Jesus then spoke to me:Dr Baruch Goldstein, a member of the extremist Kach Movement, dedicated to the defence of Jews in
every nation; during the 1994 Feast of Purim before being overpowered and killed he had shot to death 29
Muslim worshippers at the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Hebron (now renamed as the Ibrahimi Mosque). Israeli
scientists developed what is known as a ‘Drone’, an unmanned, radio controlled space platform, capable of
launching missile systems directed from a land base. Mr Netanyahu would bow down to America’s dictates,
(buckling from weight of pressure). Subsequently Netanyahu was elected as PM and very soon gave Hebron
and Bethlehem over to the Palestinian Liberation Authorities (PLA), which resulted in his disenfranchisement
at the following election. A word of knowledge revealed that Netanyahu would later be re-elected, by a
disenchanted and confused electorate, similar to the British electorate voting for their political Party, grasping
hope more than the likelihood of any manifestos being honoured. Further revelation revealed that following
his re-election for a second term of office as PM, Netanyahu would concede further territories through
pressure from political leaders across Christendom and a vitriolic press, but this in accordance with Biblical
prophecy. I believe that those Gentiles who supply funds and prayers to the Jews of Israel, who know of the
rightful place of the Jew in the heart of God, will not be influenced by the world press, and will reap a rich
reward. The principal of directing a radio controlled missile packed with explosives into specific target areas is
technically feasible. In May of 2005 Yuval Diskin the newly appointed director of Shabak (aka Shin Bet)
reported the discovery of an extremist plot, to fire a shoulder fired missile into the mosque on the Temple
Mount that would invite a retaliatory invasion from surrounding Islamic countries. Jewish fanatics might attack
their tormentors in an effort to persuade their extremist enemy to seek satisfaction through peaceful political
means. I was reminded of these thoughts in 2005 whilst on the cruise ship in Haifa docks, as I contemplated
the thought of the Saracen’s arrows striking an unprepared Western civilisation. I knew that I should pray
39
The Lord is My Shepherd
“Alf, you must recall the ‘Dronka storm’ of November and the snuffing out off the electric
power of Tiberius as a candle might be snuffed out. I can extinguish the city lights of
Jerusalem and Amman just as easily, and with far more dreadful consequences; I am able
to turn any city or nation into a wilderness in a day. The Arab nations who gain the
support of other nations in their invective accusations to ‘snuff out the light’ of Israel, will
find that it is not their conspiracies against Israel that are transpiring, but My inviting
them to attack this tasty morsel, having put a hook in their mouth, drawing the
conspirators into a giant ‘keep-net’ to await their trial at the Valley of Jehoshaphat. The
leaders of the nations who do not recognise Jesus as My Son and the Messiah of the
people I have given Him, will invade Israel, for having been deceived they have no fear or
knowledge of what I have already decreed. My Son will defend His people and the holy
land, which I will not allow to be divided without judgement. Trust in Me you people of
Tiberius and Jerusalem, I will redeem you, says the Lord your God.”
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That night (Christmas Eve) I received a revelatory dream that was repeated the following night:
My attention was drawn to the sound and sight of petrol bombs igniting and hand
grenades exploding setting houses alight in the city of Jerusalem. I heard people
screaming and the chatter of machine-gun fire. I saw hand-to-hand, door-to-door fighting
whichever way I looked. I pleaded to God that this scenario must not be fulfilled, but I was
not given any reassurance that the Israeli government were in control and that this cameo
was not an isolated attack of terrorism. It was revealed to me that God would raise a man
to power having the ‘spirit of Samson’, I was told that this man would be Binyamin
Netanyahu, who would call the Jews to pray for the nation, which would be instrumental
in turning the hearts of the people back to their God.40
I telephoned Sasha from Eilat, I had hoped he might be able to share our family holiday, but he
said it was not possible. He told me that his company had folded, as he had been unable to find a
financial backer as a partner. I can only surmise he was made bankrupt. I prayed that Sasha’s
health and circumstances would improve, now that he was no longer working under such stressful
conditions. Unfortunately on a subsequent meeting with him, and through further telephone calls, I
was aware that he has entered into deep darkness, having lost his wife to another man.
On Boxing Day I took my family on a coach tour to Cairo, where we stayed overnight and
visited many influential sites of early Christian significance. Our trip was part of my pilgrimage,
because I knew that Jesus had spent some of his early life in Egypt, which was not connected to
my desire to visit the pyramids and museums. I have now travelled on the highway that was written
of in Isaiah Ch 19:23, which although built, still remains closed to tourists without visas at the Saudi
Arabia border crossing. We spent a few more days relaxing before we returned to England. Every
time I visit Israel, I am filled with a sense of awe and purpose. It is like being on a continuous
pilgrimage. I seem to be reliving historic moments, as I walk where Jesus walked. I feel as if I am
fulfilling a date with destiny, as the Bible stories unfold; never more so than when I am in
Jerusalem or in Galilee. A second visit to Israel in two months seemed extravagant, and yet I knew
that my 1993 and 1994 tours of Israel were spiritually connected. The Lord had impressed upon
against such an event happening and that God the Father would deal with these abominations in His good
time.
40
Following my return to Britain, I shared these visions with the folk in weekly ‘Prayer for Israel’ (PFI) group,
and following the Israeli General Election of 1997 on Mr Netanyahu’s election, I reminded my PFI prayer
group of the words I had prophesied 29 months earlier now fulfilled. .
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my mind and spirit to be in Israel at these times, because of what He wanted to reveal to me. The
Lord has continued to enlighten me, to a deeper level of understanding during the times between
my last three visits. Perhaps in my natural mind I was too close to the forest to see the trees,
however, supernaturally I have discerned that the recent visions and prophecies are an expansion
of the revelations received during 1983. The Lord had impressed upon my mind that the world is
entering into the closing period of time, prior to the millennial reign of Christ. All Jews whether in
Israel or scattered throughout the nations will go through the time of ‘Jacob’s Trouble’. Those
Christians who are not Raptured will, together with the Jews, endure the tumultuous end times that
lie ahead (Daniel Ch 12:5-13)
I recalled a vision I had received in 1990, in which: I was overlooking a boundary fence; with
two single strands of barbed-wire strung between each of the wooden posts (the ‘fortification’
reminded me of a low-current electric fence for restraining cattle). The fence would not deter
a foot soldier, let alone a tank. I knew the fence to represent the communities of unwalled Jewish
settlements and towns that God would defend against an attacking enemy. I watched the fast
approaching intimidating dark clouds billowing overhead filling the whole horizon, leaving me
feeling strangely at peace. I received a word of knowledge that the lights of Jordan and other
nations could and would be supernaturally snuffed out, as easily as a candle, just as I had
witnessed in Tiberius a few weeks earlier. God will put a hook in the mouths of the nations, who
urge other nations in their invective accusations to ‘snuff out the light’ of Israel, and bring them to
the Valley of Jehoshaphat (for judgement, Joel Ch 3:2). Of course other nations who do not
recognise Jesus as God will invade Israel (Ezekiel Ch 38:4), for having been deceived, they have
no fear. At this time Jesus the Messiah will defend those people His Father has given Him and His
land (which, like His possessions, He will not allow to be divided. I heard a voice saying:“Trust in Me you people of Tiberius and Jerusalem, I will deliver you.”
Over 100 nations were represented at the international gathering of the 1994 Feast of
Tabernacles in Jerusalem, sponsored by the ICEJ. Both PM Rabin and the Mayor of Jerusalem,
Mr Ehud Olmert, in their welcoming addresses, remarked how appreciative they were to welcome
6,000 Christian representatives from nations ranging across the world. It was recognised by some
Israelis that these Christians loved their Jewish brethren and a warm welcome of the visitors was
assured. It was planned that between the two annual festivals of Succoth in September 1995 and
September 1996, a time of great rejoicing for the whole year should take place. The government
wanted to be seen by the nations to celebrate the 3,000 th anniversary of Jerusalem becoming King
David’s capital city. All visitors celebrating Succoth in 1994 from the nations were encouraged to
revisit in the following year, and to bring all their friends and join in the celebrations. Tourism was
the chief objective of this celebration, for tourism is the life blood of Israel. Owing to the
undercurrent of suspicion and hatred by the Arabs, who bitterly resent the presence of Jews, in the
land which the Palestinian Arabs consider their own, there would inevitably be some terrorist
incidents to discourage tourism thereby upsetting the economy. Racial tension is constantly
erupting and tourism has still increased as had been envisaged, as statistics confirm. What is not
to understood by me is that the Arabs are reliant on the Jews for employment, and all Israel face
financial hardship if the tourist trade suffers, for the Jews cannot afford to provide employment for
the Arabs if tourism declines, as one people group suffers so does the other.
The only other all-denominational team event I have taken part in since ministering with Daniel
Cozens in the decade of the nineties occurred between the dates of November 4 th-14th 1995.
Christine Darg with whom I had shared a platform at the Prophetic Summons to Cambridge for the
‘Healing of the Nations’ in 1994 grateful of my impute through prophetic words concerning her
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ministry had invited me to become one of a team of seven evangelists from the UK, to take part in
a week of afternoon and evening tent meetings in a garden restaurant on the Mount of Olives on
one of her series of monthly missions to Jerusalem. Our aeroplane left Heathrow at midnight on
the Friday, arriving at first light on the Saturday. After being shown to our respective rooms in the
Mount of Olives Hotel, we unpacked our bags and had breakfast; we were then free for the day.
We were asked to return for the evening meal, which, once the strategy of our mission had been
explained to us, would be followed by a time of prayer. I had previously arranged to spend some
time with friends David and Gill Fulford, who met me at Damascus Gate. David and Gill have lived
in Israel for some years and David works at the ICEJ. We toured the old city on foot starting at the
Garden Tomb, and then visiting the church named St Peters in Gallicanto, more familiarly known
as St Peter of the Cock Crow. Alongside the church was the excavated shell of the palace of the
High Priest Caiaphus, who had carried out the wishes of the Sanhedrin by having the palace
guards arrest Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, on the charge that he was leader of a band of
insurrectionists. Following His inquisition Jesus was further judged to be guilty of blasphemy. The
steps leading from this area into the valley below, which afforded a short cut to the Garden of
Gethsemane, have recently been excavated covered by 6m of compacted layers of earth that has
accumulated over the last 2,000 years. We then followed the route along the Via Dolorosa where
Jesus had carried His Cross. Christ had been scourged at the place now called the ‘second
station’. Following His beating He struggled under the weight of the Cross until, through loss of
blood and weakness, He fell for the first time at the ‘third station’. We continued our pilgrimage
through all the stations up to the eighth station, where Jesus consoled the women of Jerusalem
Luke Ch 23:28-31:-‘Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not over me, weep rather over yourselves
and your children. For if green wood is treated thus, how will the dry wood be treated?’ And
in the two inclusive verses 29-30:-‘For the time will come when you will say, blessed are the
barren women, the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed. These
passages point to the terrible suffering to occur 40 years later when the Romans totally destroyed
not only the temple but much of the city also. Prophetically an invasion by Gentile nations will be
repeated.
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After lunch at the Austrian Hospice, located at the junction of Al Wad Street and the Via
Dolorosa, we walked to Jaffa Gate where I was passed on to Dr Campbell Millar and his wife
Ferne, (a Scotsman but raised in Canada) who also worked for the Embassy. For many years the
Campbell’s had ministered to the poor in Ethiopia, until 1990 when 15,000 migrant Jews were
airlifted out from Addis Ababa in a planned exodus, known as Operation Solomon. The airlift was
completed in a 30 hour space of time, reminding me of that passage in Jeremiah Ch 16:14 where it
is written:- ‘The days are coming when men will say, as surely as I live, I will bring the
Israelites back from all the countries where I have banished them.’
Campbell was an elder in the Jerusalem Church, a congregation of about 40 people made up
of both Arab and Jew, and a few expatriates. He drove me to the home of his pastor Issam
Hussan, a converted Druze Arab, who lives with his family in Zur Hadassah, a settlement near
Bethlehem. Our journey took us through Ein Kerim, the town where John the Baptist was reputedly
born. The Millar’s had the daunting but satisfying task since Operation Solomon of helping the
families overcome their many health and financial problems. The undertaking had obviously been
hugely successful. We visited the one remaining small but well adjusted encampment, where we
watched the old folk chatting contentedly amongst themselves, as they supervised the young
children who were happily playing games.
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Bet Jalle is the nearest Arab town, less than one mile distant from Pastor Issam’s home. We
sat on the patio drinking tea and eating cakes until the sun went down, following which time I was
driven back to Jerusalem. Campbell dropped me off at the Damascus Gate from where I took a
taxi to my hotel. Campbell took this precaution, for it is dangerous for a car exhibiting Israeli
number-plates to enter into Arab zones. I have heard of horrendous stories of cars being not only
stoned, but overturned and set alight, often the cars occupants have been dragged out beaten up
and even murdered. One of my American friends had been stabbed on one such occasion. On the
return journey, we travelled on one of the new roads being purpose built to enable settlers to travel
between destinations without entering PLO controlled zones. If Mr Netanyahu rescinded the verbal
promises already given to the PLO, 180,000 Jewish settlers living in some 144 settlements within
the areas handed over to the PLO would have found themselves exposed to threats over their
communities. These settlers were living under the threat of death to leave these areas. I was
certain that if these Jewish settlers did not move into Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) controlled zones
some of them would be killed by their Arab neighbours in an effort to eradicate the Jews
completely from the land of Israel. We observed three fire engines that had just extinguished a
small bush fire on the edge of Ein Kerim as we drove along the new by-pass opened on this very
day on our return to the Mount of Olives. The fire was small by comparison with the destroying fire
in the Jerusalem Corridor on July 1st 1995. The Israeli authorities have heard clearly from their
electorate of the kind of security and responsibility expected from appointed officials and the
government have included the uneasiness of the settlers as part of government policy.
I joined the team for dinner after which we moved into an area looking across the Kidron Valley
high above the Dome of the Rock mosque. It was here we met with Brother David and Sister
Sharon, both American missionaries, but not related, who permanently resided on the Mount of
Olives, had been the inspiration behind this mission. The night view was spectacular; we could see
the lights of Jerusalem through to the horizon. It was a beautiful clear and warm evening, and the
night sky was full of stars that looked like jewels in front of a black satin back-cloth. We prayed and
conducted spiritual warfare for some considerable time. The ambience was holy and our warfare
reverential; we knew we were taking part in God’s business. Before returning to our hotel I offered
up what turned out to be our final prayer. I asked God to confirm to us that He intended to honour
our mission and our prayers in no small way, by making the very ground shake beneath our feet, to
which the team rejoined ‘Amen’. On our return to the hotel, we were told of Prime Minister Rabin’s
assassination, which had taken place at roughly the time we were saying our final amen. 41
The following day at Christ Church the whole congregation was shocked and bewildered by this
cruel blow to the nation. Rabin had been a war hero, but he had more latterly been a man seeking
peace through the Oslo Accord. On the Monday, Mr. Rabin was interred in his grave. As a sign of
respect and remembrance, a loud siren was sounded at his internment, this was clearly heard
throughout Jerusalem. As the mournful wail ceased, Christine having completed her address
passed me the microphone in ‘The Tent’, which was the name of the restaurant where we were
conducting our open air service under a cloudless sky. It was an unforgettable moment for me as I
drank in the solemn atmosphere. I looked at the column marking the spot of Jesus’ ascension, with
the minaret tower alongside of it, and with the siren still resounding in my ear; I cleared my throat
The timing of this mission was unforgettable. Yigal Amir, a 27 year old right-wing law-student; fired two
shots into the back of PM Rabin. Amir insisted at his later trial that he was not part of, nor acted on behalf
of any organisation. Ramon Bennett in his book The Wall writes of a conspiracy theory, indicating that
Rabin died from a gunshot wound fired into his chest, probably whilst in the ambulance carrying him to
hospital, which seems like a re-run of the American JFK assassination.
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The Lord is My Shepherd
and gave my testimony. A loudspeaker crackled into sound, from the minaret calling the Moslems
to prayer seemingly to drown out my message. I rebuked this interference, and the loud-speaker
went silent. I was told later that the muezzin in his minaret calling the people to prayer had been
taken ill and could not continue with his task. I believe that his illness was a result of my rebuking
him. During our week of mission, all my companions suffered tummy disorders and sickness
except myself and Pastor Werner Oder each one needing the attention of a doctor due to drinking
tap water served in crystal carafes at meal times, instead of the plastic water bottles that Werner
and I drank from. Through the daily distribution of personal invitations, we invited the resident
community to join us for a meal and to hear of testimonies of salvation and healing of ourselves
and those of former Muslims. Arab’s responded to our invitations, for it is impolite to refuse
hospitality, and their society loves to be prayed for! Presumably those who accepted our invitation
told their neighbours that our party were not threatening. I suspect that like Westerners, many
Arabs were searching for a meaning for their life. The evening of our arrival PM Yitzhak Rabin of
Israel was assassinated, which added to the drama surrounding this proactive week. During our
week of service, all my companions suffered tummy disorders and sickness except myself and
pastor Werner Oder, each one needing the attention of a doctor due to drinking tap water served in
crystal carafes at meal times, instead of drinking from the sealed plastic water bottles that Werner
and I had personally purchased. The spirit within me told me that many responded to the
messages, but no Arabs came forward for conversion only for prayer; I suspect the results were
due to the attendees being aware of a secret police network that reported to the local mosque that
so and so had responded to an altar call.
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The aeroplane we were booked onto for the return flight was full, and we returned home on an
Olympic Airline flight via Athens Airport.42 We were delayed further when one of the tyres blew up
causing the aeroplane to return from the runway whilst the wheel was changed, which was
frustrating. An attempted hi-jacking occurred at the Athens airport that same morning, when a
passenger held an air stewardess at knife point, as he demanded the right to bring the plight of his
fellow countrymen to the attention of the media around the world by speaking on TV.
I received a ‘word of knowledge’ on October 13th 2001 that America would put forward a plan to
the UN, and the EU and Russia, proposing to carve out yet another piece of Israel to form a
Palestinian state. The plans founders were known as the ‘Quartet’. Part of this plan revolves
around Israel relinquishing the territory acquired in the 1967 ‘six day war, and an agreement to
We were further delayed in Athens on a wheel tyres exploding. An attempted hi-jacking had occurred at
the Athens airport that morning, when a passenger held an air stewardess at knife point, as he demanded
the right to bring the plight of his fellow Jews to the attention of the media around the world by speaking on
TV. Later, whilst in an airplane circling on its flight-path over central London, I received a ‘word of
knowledge’ that mayhem and devastation would result, if a fanatic in control of a crop-spraying plane
sprayed deadly chemicals over a city. In September 2001 documents were found in Missouri USA outlining
details of delivering just such a chemical attack by an aircraft had been planned, as I had spiritually heard
in the revelation! I envisaged how migrants, having been granted rights of citizenship, could infiltrate a fifth
column into the structure of their enemy’s homeland, integrating into the community, as an espionage cell
that might remain undetected, until an atrocity was committed, perhaps traceable to individuals, but never
resulting in prosecution and judgment of the fount of never ending resources Surveillance against similar
acts of terrorism cannot be foolproof, however vigilant the security. In Britain we have suffered the planting
of high explosives in crowded shopping centres, and know how helpless one feels to do anything
constructive to stop such mayhem. I realized that every incident experienced whilst on this mission, had
been a steep learning curve for me, as I contemplated each daily event.
42
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allow East Jerusalem to become the Capital City of Palestine. This ‘proposal’ by America was
conceived largely because of the need to offer some inducement to mollify the 22 members of the
Organisation of the Islamic Conference (OIC), who might otherwise take exception to America
flying in the face of UN by invading Iraq; whilst re-assuring Russia, that when Saddam is deposed,
Iraq’s oil supplies and prices to Russia will be maintained in accordance with recently arranged
contracts. It is clear from Zechariah Ch 12:3 that God will repay the nations for their imposing this
covenant on Israel, although many Jews will be prepared to assent to its signing. But it is against
God’s will, and will prove to be the stumbling block that results in God moving against the nations.
Once this decree is implemented, the world will witness a repeat of the division of Christ’s clothes
(Psalm 22:18, Luke Ch 23:34). Jeremiah Ch 25:26-38 clearly states that ‘the nations acting in
unison against Israel will drink from God’s cup of wrath, with God sending a sword upon
them, in their homelands’. Psalm 2:1-4 records: ‘The nations rage and plot against the Lord’s
appointed, but He sits and laughs at their futile endeavours, which will come to nothing.’
(paraphrased)
Although PM Sharon had agreed in principle to the provision of a Palestinian state in Israel, he
will probably have a revolution on his hands if he follows on with America’s wishes to hand over
east Jerusalem to the Palestinians to become their capital city. I did not hear until long after the
event that prior to the signing of the Oslo Accord, almost without the world’s media noticing, Jewish
leaders from around the world appended their signatures to a declaration on behalf of world Jewry
(the signatories in effect foreswore an oath) that the City of Jerusalem would never be divided
again.43 I believe Israel will either prevaricate over the demands made on them, or that shortly after
These signatories were well aware of their Biblical inheritance, to wit, Abraham purchased Hebron
(Genesis Ch 23:15-16); Jacob bought Shechem (modern time Nablus, Genesis Ch 33:19), and King Omri
bought the hill of Samaria (1 Kings Ch 16:24). These are all land areas, that during the period of the Oslo
Accord were given to the Palestinians, in the pursuit for peace. These transactions are not acceptable to God
(Leviticus Ch 25:23-24). Much of the terrorism experienced in Israel today, has been formulated in these
former Arab lands, legitimately purchased and recorded in the Scriptures. Surely anyone can see that God
has spelt out these passages in Scripture, to warn against enforcing humanitarian resolve as a solution, and
instead, to seek His counsel. The Quartet will surely suffer God’s wrath, for imposing the division of Israel. My
reader will witness God move in wrath during this decade “I will not turn back My wrath. Because whole
communities of My chosen ones have been treated as slaves by the nations,” paraphrased from Amos
Ch 1:9). God has demonstrated through Biblical history that Shechem is of special significance. Shechem is
the area where God had Jacob (Israel) buy land in order to ‘pitch his tent’ and to find a sanctuary, in which to
bury his parents at their death. Currently Nablus is under Palestinian control, and a hotbed of terrorism. In the
2002 invasive ‘Operation Defensive Shield’, an IDF search revealed 16 bomb-making factories, which were
then destroyed. Shechem is the city in which Gideon’s ‘concubine’ lived, not under Gideon’s roof, but close to
the Gerizim Temple, where the people had worshipped Baal-Berith. The unnamed mother of Abimelech
(whose name means, my father is king) was apparently able to persuade Gideon to recommend his bastard
son to the throne that Gideon had earlier (and rightly) rejected. We are told in Judges Ch 8:27 that
materialism became the snare for Gideon. On Gideon’s death, the people of Shechem reverted to Baal
worship, and the people turned against Gideon’s family. Abimelech obtained the support of the citizens of
Shechem for himself to be elevate as king. He murdered 69 of his half-brothers, but Jotham the youngest
son, escaped the carnage. Jotham, from the top of Mount Gerizim, shouted the parable of the trees that
wanted to crown a king to rule over them. The tree that was appointed was the Atad Thorn Tree, its Latin
name is Ziziphus spina-christi, and means the thorns of Christ. It was from one of these trees that the crown
of thorns, placed on Christ’s head, was made. What can be learned from this parable is that Satan had
established himself as a spiritual yet fraudulent king of all the Earth. Satan accomplished this deception, even
before the Israelites appointed their first king, King Saul. It can also be recognised, that Satan’s disciples are
humanly fulfilling Satan’s will, through the machinations of the UAL, and the Quartet.
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the agreement is in place, Israel will take a course of action that results in the nations invading
Israel, and occupying Jerusalem.
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I am convinced that, before time began, God programmed Britain and Germany (as proponents
of ‘Replacement Theology’), and the Semitic Arab, expressing increasingly, ever since Christ’s
death, a religious hatred towards the Jews spilling over into the Holocaust, executed by political
decree, not in any way connected with any denial of Christ. Roman Catholicism expounded
Replacement Theology, which although unreservedly recently rejected by the Vatican, is still
believed by many misinformed believers. In 1517 AD, the Reformation movement, propounded by
Martin Luther, which became known as Protestantism, became internationally accepted and
adopted. Tragically Luther did not deny supersessionism, expressed a hatred for the Jews who
refused to become Christians, which had always been the experience of the Jew with churchmen
throughout the ages.44 The politicians of Britain, Germany, and the Arab nations, of the 20 th century
personify the three monotheistic faiths, each equally indictable for their part in the Holocaust. The
British government are a representation of the British people, who have been brainwashed by
church leaders who have extolled Replacement Theology, as handed down to them by
theologians, and a media that has exacerbated anti-Semitism by inflamed and biased reporting;
but God’s purposes are still on course!
It can be discerned from Habakkuk Ch 1:5-11 that God is raising up the Muslim hordes of
fearsome, ruthless protagonists to attack Israel. Palestinian Arabs will act as a fifth-column, whilst
the Muslims from the surrounding nations will invade Israel, but God will deliver His holy land and
the ‘apple of His eye from their adversary. God will strike the invaders down, spilling Arab blood as
a sign that He has taken pity on Israel, in His jealousy to protect His holy land, from the Arab,
whose sins exceed the sins of the Amorites of Biblical times. There will be no doubt over from
where the deliverance of Israel came, and whole families will turn to Christ. Revival will break out
worldwide, but persecution will escalate as the religious war mushrooms across the world. Later
the antichrist will bring in an age of uneasy peace, during which time people will be free to worship
the god of their choice. Jesus, in Revelation Chapters 2-3, is prophetically urging His end-time
Church of assorted congregations, to stand firm during these events, foreshadowing the
persecution of the Great Tribulation about to follow.
In obedience to a command first given to me in 1992 and reiterated in April 2000 in Turkey, I
returned to Jerusalem in 2000 (at the re-occurrence of the shmitta year experienced seven years
earlier in 1993). I duly arrived at Christchurch in Jerusalem on September 23 rd 2000, where I had
reserved a room in order to attend the ‘One New Man in Christ’ Conference. I was alerted to the
eruption of the forthcoming civil disorder through a TV clip, in which Foreign Minister Ariel Sharon
was being physically harassed by Arabs having widely made known his intention as a Jew, of
visiting the Dome on the Rock, knowing that this ‘intrusion’ was an anathema to Muslims. Rioting
followed and at Friday 29th prayers in the Al Aqsa Mosque the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, Ekrima
Sabri, called for the shedding of the ‘oppressor’s blood’ for their temerity. In the subsequent rioting
four Arabs were killed, 100 injured and 58 arrested. Some areas of the old city were declared as
Martin Luther (1483-1546 AD) discovered for himself, something that the Jerusalem Church had known all
along, believers are saved by Christ alone, by Scripture alone and by grace alone (Acts Ch 15:11), yet Luther
was unaware of the debt the Gentile owes to the Jew, and still embraced supersessionism, as did most other
reformed theologians. On Luther realising that he could not entice Jews into the reformed church, he became
venomous towards the Jew, and fanned the embers of hatred (against the non-conformist Jew) into fire, and
anti-Semitism increased.
44
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‘off limits’ and many roadblocks were speedily installed. The Saturday was meant to be a day of
pilgrimage to various places written of in the Bible, but because of the increasing tension my
conference party’s programmed tour was abandoned. I prayerfully attended my assignment at the
Wailing Wall on Rosh HaShanah; which fell on Sunday October 1st. At 9:00 a.m as I walked to the
Temple Mount, I was repeatedly overtaken by military vehicles transporting soldiers carrying
automatic weapons and policemen carrying body shields and truncheons. The Temple Mount filled
with an ever-increasing number of armed law enforcers ready to face down any rioters. Following
a short prayer of thanks for my protection and future ministry, I prayed for clear understanding.
Jesus spoke to me:“You are witnessing the first minor skirmishes in a major insurrection that will
escalate into the final international religious (ideological) war between Isaac and
Ishmael in which the whole world will become embroiled. There will be a respite
but it will only be of short duration. Initially Islamic nations will secretly support
the Palestinian Arabs with weapons and financial aid. Militant extremists living in
Islamic nations will incite the more peaceable Muslims to demand their national
leaders to declare war on My chosen ones. An invasion by Arab mercenaries
living in other nations will soon follow. Following Israeli action that will be
perceived internationally as an over-reaction or as an inhuman response, the
nations will conspire to impose sanctions over the government of Israel and
declare My holy city of Jerusalem an open city and an armed occupier will once
more occupy Jerusalem. But take heart for these occurrences are ordained by Me
and will lead to My Son’s return to rule and to reign and to judge the offending
nations. It is time for Me to unblock the deaf ears and open blind eyes of My
chosen ones, for the full number of Gentiles have entered into the kingdom
(Romans Ch 11:25). The nations clamour for My legal tenants to beat their swords
into ploughshares, whilst plotting armed aggression. But do not despair, for the
battle belongs to Me. I will respond to the challenge of My enemies who have
enslaved My children and stolen their inheritance. With a sweep of My hand I will
restore that which has been stolen whilst devastating the resources of My
enemies. You have been given an increase in spiritual awareness because you
have proven obedient to your calling. Do not be afraid of the opposition raised
against you; despite the clamour you will not be silenced in your testimony, says
your Lord.”
This prophecy was detailing the religious faith war between Islam and Christianity that was
prophesied in Daniel Ch 8, of which I had received a cameo update whilst in Turkey during 1999.
America is concerned over the success that has been achieved by the martyrs to Islam,
particularly as American servicemen and installations have often been the target (America is hated
by Muslim Arabs almost as much as the Jew).
Later that morning I travelled by taxi over the Mount of Olives, evidence of the rioting in these
run-down Arab communities in Israel was present on every street on the Mount of Olives. I was
taken through Jericho arriving soon after at the Allenby Bridge, the entry point into Jordan, where I
was visiting friends from my home church, who were learning the Arabic language. During the
eight days I spent in Jordan, I experienced mob-erected road blocks and cars set alight in support
of the Palestinians. European tourists were advised to not leave their overnight accommodation
after dusk. These were days in which King Abdullah received both Mr Arafat and later General
Moamar al Gadaffi of Libya. I witnessed public protests and some disorder, but mostly the
blockaded roads were detoured around, through the insight of well-ordered service corps. King
Abdullah is a friend to America, and is providing amenities in the war against Iraq, but he is likely to
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be assassinated for his contentious policies. I believe that owing to Jordan’s long border with
Israel, Saudi Arabia and/or Iraq, with Jordan’s cooperation, will launch an attack on Israel,
sometime after the battle for the land of Iraq is completed, and America is financially weakened
(bankrupt) and friendless (despised). Most Arab states will unite behind the Arab League, in
humiliating America. I believe that a nuclear strike may be carried out by Israel, in response to
many rocket attacks on northern Israel by the Hizballah Popular Front Movement operating in Syria
and Lebanon, or alternatively the Iranian supported Syrian Army may provoke Israel to attack.
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On Monday October 9th I returned to Israel, where I had reserved a room in Beit Immanuel in
Tel Aviv for three nights, during which time I met with Sasha.45 Buses are routinely stopped by the
police in Israel, and searched for packages seemingly inadvertently forgotten by passengers that
are explosives, a necessary vigilant but commonplace action in Israel. Parcels or carrier bags filled
with high explosives have often been deposited in crowded market places or buildings. The bus on
which I was travelling in Tel Aviv was stopped and searched for this very reason. I read in the
Jerusalem Post that the ‘Voice of Palestine’ Radio Station, through their alarming propaganda,
unsubstantiated and misleading sound bites, inciting their listeners to violence, at which times truth
is the main casualty. Palestinians are encouraged by the PLO to tune into Arab TV and not CNN or
BBC satellite news channels, because non-Arab coverage is perceived to be pro-Israeli, and not
helpful to the PLO cause. All citizens are aware of the Muslim extremist’s penchant for strapping a
waist-belt filled with explosives to their body, and becoming human time-bombs, prepared to
further the cause of those who incite them to martyrdom, in order to receive specifically promised
benefits in some imaginary heaven by blowing themselves and their targets into kingdom-come.
On many occasions a vehicle is loaded with explosives, which on ramming the target, is then
detonated. At other times booby-traps are laid, to inflict pain on someone the bomber has never
met. Both systems mean that many civilians including women and children have been maimed or
murdered, in this escalating war of attrition, leaving behind bereaving families. ‘Brain-washing’ by
Arab mullahs, extolling martyrdom as pleasing to Allah, guaranteeing a special place of recognition
in heaven, has been engrained in the Arab psyche 46.
On Thursday October 12th I returned to Jerusalem by bus to complete my assignment on
Yom Kippur at the Western Wall, and to attend the Feast of Tabernacles Conference. In my hotel
room I watched on TV a horrific live report of bestial scenes surrounding the death of two Jewish
army reservists, who had been taken into police custody in Arab controlled Ramallah, having
disastrously strayed into Arab territory whilst trying to find their Army Unit. Since that time I have
constantly relived the picture, seen on the TV screen, of that murderer, grinning devilishly, and
then waving to the cheering crowds below, whilst pointedly holding up his bloodstained hands in
confirmation that he had disembowelled a Jew. The other reservist was tied to the back of a car,
Sasha, a shadow of his former authoritive self, was unemployed (and perhaps unemployable). He had
turned to alcohol to escape positive behavioural action, and had chosen to live as a husband with a
prostitute. I am too upset to record what I believe to be in which direction Sasha will choose to follow. Sasha
wrote me two strange letters almost two years previously, telling me that he had received a vision of Christ as
Messiah. He had a mental break-down shortly afterwards, resulting in his confinement to hospital for several
weeks. On his returning home, he found that his wife had left him, taking the children with her, moving into
another man’s home. Sasha subsequently found alternative employment working in a supermarket. I
telephoned him in 2005 from Haifa, but he said he was too ill to meet with me. Irene his former wife, on my
visiting her in Rehovat in 2005 told me that their children do not hear from Sasha any longer.
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and dragged through the thronged streets; mercifully he would have died quickly. 47 Having spent a
restless night, reliving the TV reports of the previous evening, I awoke with the instruction of the
Lord ringing in my ears, to visit the Wailing Wall this day of Yom Kippur. As I walked into the old
city I passed vigilant IDF soldiers, in their pairs, stationed in every street, within sight of the next
pair of armed soldiers, questioning all passing Arabs, and advising the populace to return to their
homes. On the Temple Mount International TV camera crews were much in evidence on the
Temple Mount, helicopter gun-ships circled overhead. At the Wailing Wall Jesus spoke to me:
“I have summoned you here to witness at first-hand man’s inhumanity towards
his neighbour through differing blood-lines and cultures. You were told at the
instigation of the false Peace Accords that only bad fruit would be produced
through such covenants. The ramifications of each escalating violent action will
reverberate throughout the Arab nations and demands for further escalation will
become more insistent. The peacemaker will be howled down and pacifists will be
considered enemies. Attacks against non-combatants will be increased, but I will
punish proportionately. Those who control international funds will engineer
economic crises, but these engineered events will escalate out of control. Israel is
to invade Lebanon within 3½ years of the Jubilee year. This counter attack will be
repeated before Israel is invaded by the locusts. You may be certain that your
redemption is at hand, says your Lord.” Because there was much civil disorder by
Arabs in Jerusalem, with the police manning roadblocks, I decided to take an
earlier flight home, as I had done during the previous shmitta year in 1993.
On May 18th 2004 I flew to Israel and took a cheroot taxi to Haifa, where I was to be hosted by
an Arab Christian lady who had stayed at my Bed and Breakfast guest house. The following day
(Ascension Day) she drove me and some of her relatives to El Muhraqa (the place of burning on
Mount Carmel overlooking the Kishon valley, where Elijah slaughtered the prophets of Baal. 48 I felt
In Yemen on October 12th 2000, a motorboat loaded with explosives, piloted by two suicide-bombers,
crippled the USS Destroyer Cole, by ramming their motorboat into the ship, causing the death of nine
servicemen; it is impossible to take evading action against such fanaticism. Bin Laden featured on videotape
shortly after the ramming, claimed the success for this mission, and cajoled other Muslims to carry the war
into the enemy’s camp. What is not realised is that there are fanatics who hate Muslims, who might choose to
attack the Muslim in retaliation. Unfortunately such hatred, and any revenge attacks, only inspire even greater
reprisals, when deferred simmering hatred boils over. America is concerned over the success that has been
achieved by the martyrs to Islam, particularly as American servicemen and installations have often been the
target (America is hated by Muslim Arabs almost as much as the Jew). The recommendation that President
Bashar Assad of Syria be elected for a two-year seat on the UN Security Council; had been unopposed,
which, in view of the support Syria has given to terrorist groups, is alarming!. I am convinced that the five
permanent members of the UN Security Council, and those other ten nations, who occupy Security Council
seats by rotation, will recommend that an armed peacekeeping force be stationed in Jerusalem, to protect the
Arabs; NATO, quite possibly the Quartet will support such a resolution in order to appease the Arab League ,
whose Islamic faith has been mortally offended by the occupation of Iraq by America, the ‘Great Satan’, and
will result in a call by the surrounding Arab nations to collectively invade Israel, fulfilling Psalm 83. My reading
of Zechariah Ch 12: 3 is that the armies of all the nations of the earth will gather in or close to Israel with the
view to attacking Jerusalem, in order to impose UN resolutions on the Knesset to hand over east Jerusalem
to Arab control. The result will be that God will call all the aggressors to Armageddon for the final battle
(Revelation Ch16:16)
48 Remembering that the seven year drought was broken after Elijah prayed, and I was aware that the Sea of
Galilee, which provides 40% of Israel’s drinking water, was currently three meters below the desired safety
levels, partly due to the 4% increase in demand every year, and that average rainfall had been 50-60% of
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compelled to free myself from further involvement with these Arab Christians and moved to a guest
house whose owners were members of the Mount Carmel Assembly. I befriended an Englishman
who was conducting a tour of his church members and supporters of the Ravens Basket, a relief
organisation that he had created through Christ. I joined his party on a motor tour on the Saturday,
and whilst we were waiting to be transported to the Mount Carmel Assembly where he had served
and established this charity, I spoke with some of his congregational supporters in the car park.
We were behind the people carrier that was to ferry us to church. I was told in my spirit to move
from behind our transport that was revving up. The driver’s foot on the clutch slipped, causing the
vehicle to reverse uncontrollably into another vehicle, which would have crushed most of our party!
Such situations I readily acknowledge, but I know that God’s angels patrol this world to protect the
children of God. On the Monday following a few hours on the beach, I made a prayer pilgrimage to
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Maxim’s Restaurant in Haifa, where in 2003, Islamic Jihad had sent a suicide bomber, killing 21 and injuring
51 people, the believing owner with whom I prayed over future outreach later kindly drove me to my hostel.
The following day I travelled to Rehovat by train to visit Russian friends prior to prayer walking
the streets of Tel Aviv, where I had previously made a similar forgiveness prayer pilgrimage, following the
Tel Aviv bus-bombing in October 1994 in which 22 people died and 47 were injured, many of whom were
crippled for life.49 I then travelled by bus, booking into the Jerusalem Gold Hotel in Jerusalem. I had
been directed to listen to God at the Western Wall at Shavuot on Pentecost Sunday in 2004.
On Pentecost Sunday (May 30th), having taken part in a service of worship on the Hudna
steps, I prayed at the Western Wall:- “Oh Father, often as I stand here praying, flanked on
either side by Ultra-Orthodox Jews I have wondered if you speak into their hearts and minds
as you do into mine. I realise they are looking for comfort or relief and answers to their own
prayers and petitions for their family or their nation, which is as it should be, but prayers
offered to one’s personal god surely are offered from the depth of one’s being, in exactly
the same way whichever faith is followed? Like any other praying worshipper I beat my
breast and acknowledge that I am only a forgiven sinner, but these dutiful Jews whom I
accept that You love, do not know You as a relational God. They are taught by their rabbis
that You do not have a divine Son, but believers in Yeshua know that Your Son is the only
mediator between You and your adopted children. I know that prayer life of an orthodox Jew
what was needed to sustain regular water supply throughout Israel I prayed that God would end the fresh
water shortage.
49 Tel Aviv is known as the White City, due to its many Bauhaus-style structures. However Eli Ziv, the
Director-General of the Israel Hotel Association, is planning to see the nickname changed to the Pink City by
transforming the city into the gay capital of the world. He explained, “We have the beach, sun, culture, and
nightclubs.” Eli Cohen, the Tourism Ministry Director-General, has promised any financial assistance
necessary to promote Ziv’s vision. Responsible Jewish officials in Tel Aviv are deliberately flouting the Torah,
knowing that homosexual activity is expressly forbidden; their unrighteous politicking will provoke God’s
intervention. Some 60% of the Jewish population consider themselves as secular; God will not condone the
conduct evidenced in Tel Aviv. Public exhibitions on stage in the city’s sex dens; where sexual depravity and
nudity are as commonplace as prostitution, abortion, drug addiction, gambling, extortion, and corruption from
the highest levels of society to the despairing masses. There are less deaths resulting annually from Arabic
suicide bombers, combined with the murderous individual attacks against civilian Jews inspired by hatred,
than there are from smoke related illnesses, traffic accidents and abortions. Unemployment and poverty
increases remorselessly and society despairs of ever enjoying a valued and peaceful life-style for its citizens.
There is cynical corruption by high officials in government, industry, commerce, the military, the left-wing
secular judiciary, and the Mafiosi, such people appear to be indifferent to the territorial claims of the Jew or
the Arab.
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is no different from the Muslims who pray to a different god. People of other faiths pray to
mythological gods whilst liberal-minded churches pray to You as if You were a genie, there
to do their bidding and can be known by no other but themselves. I have observed heavy
shepherding and control practised by the priesthood and seen spitefulness, envy, jealousy,
unforgiveness and pettiness practised by members of congregations. In many ways the
liberal church that operates under Your banner is identical to the secular world it is trying to
escape from! When are You going to put matters right, both in the church and in the world?
The Church that calls itself by Your name is not militant towards injustice and
unrighteousness, it is extremely lethargic and unrepentant, continuously compromising
between denominations and other faiths in seeking to accommodate every deviation from
Your truths, whilst every day the world situation deepens into crisis proportions. Jesus said
that at the end of the age, because of mounting wickedness, the love of most will grow cold
and that even families will suffer painful division. Alarmingly I believe this to be true.
Because You have given me a message to deliver of the Second Coming of Christ during
the Great Tribulation that follows World War III, I have therefore ceased to pray for a world
revival, rather I am praying that Christians will know that they must not keep silent in telling
others that replacement theology is a pernicious sin that leads to death. I am here today
seeking direction and answers. I know that Jonah sat in the shade of a vine, confused by
Your offending his sensibilities and whilst your servant Elijah, despite his triumph at Mount
Carmel, in his confusion fearfully ran from Your sight and asked that he might be relieved of
his ministry. I am not despondent but I would like an explanation of what is to happen, and
when I may broadcast as widely and effectively as possible how believers of this final
generation should pray and plan. I praise Your name and bless Your heart of fatherhood
dear Father.”
The answer came immediately as I waited:“Alf my son, cast your mind back to the memories of your earlier accidents and
illnesses, that but for My intervention would have led to death. You are confident in
My abilities as your Creator, and that of My Son as your protector and redeemer to
guard you, and because of this, you have unquestioningly and faithfully carried out
the assignments given to you; some of which have been costly, inconvenient, or
uncomfortable. You know that your prayers have been answered, sometimes
miraculously, but invariably due to your obedient faith. I now want you to pray into
the outcome of events, some of the intermediate details of which in your
estimation will be horrific and destructive. Recently you have become more fervent
in your requests for earth-shattering signs of My moving spiritual mountains. I will
provide answers to your concerns in ways that you cannot imagine, over which
you will not receive wisdom in advance, but only when necessary. I know your
heart, and the heart of those fair-weather friends who will, or have spoken against
you, but you will continue to receive succour. The latter-day rains have fallen, and
the secret springs of water will be eternally full; every thought and every action of
My adversary is known to Me, but I will overcome his scheming by immediate
retribution. It is time for Me to exercise My judgement against the fraudulent
spiritual powers that motivate and control the deluded and those that I have given
over in society to the evil one.
On my return to Christchurch I stopped two or three times whilst taking a few photographs
of the Mount of Olives, the monument to the Ascension, the graveyard, the Garden of
Gethsemane, the Kidron Valley, and the Valley of Jehoshaphat with all its fine homes,
expensive high-rise buildings and the ramshackle cheek by jowl homes, seemingly supporting
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each other, when suddenly I was experiencing a vision, in which all the homes changed into
whitewashed sepulchres. I saw the land homogenising into a gigantic wasteland graveyard and
as I quietly prayed regarding the significance of this distorted development, realising the
revelation received at the Wall was continuing God spoke:
“Do not major your prayers on all Diaspora Jews returning to unrighteous Israel. I am
able to reveal Myself to everyone in every nation, regardless of their spiritual persuasion
and obedient. Populations throughout the world are bedevilled and corrupt, not least of
all My beloved city. I will shake this desecrated place by sending earthquakes and other
supernatural signs to accentuate My ownership. I will purify this city and this world by
sending My Son to complete the shaking and rebuilding. Even now the locusts are rising
from the abyss, winging their way to this defiled place, in the hope of satiating their blood
lust. This vineyard will become a graveyard, but there will not be fruitful pickings for the
invaders, but in turn the pillagers will be hunted as prey both here and to wherever they
retreat, in order to regroup, but I will pursue them to their lairs and cause great grief, and
haunt their sleep. I have spoken in My controlled anger says the Lord your God.”
I returned to Britain puzzling over God’s threat of an earthquake in which presumably many would
die.50
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I was commanded to attend as a passenger on a cruise ship in November 2004 departing for
Israel from Crete, which docked the following morning in the port of Ashdod in Israel. Most
passengers were eager to take part in guided tours, whilst I felt constrained to remain onboard
ship. I spent much of that day in prayer; during which I was reminded of a revelatory ‘word of
knowledge’ I had received in 2000 at Yom Kippur that within 3½ years of the diamond jubilee year
of yovel (the sacred year of jubilee, which ran from September 17th 2001 until September 6th 2002)
that sometime during the Hebraic civil year that began in Nisan 2006, and following the 50-day
‘counting of the omer’, but before the start of Rosh HaShanah (the Hebraic New-Year’s Day Tishrei
1, commencing Hebraic year 5767), Israel would carry out a retaliatory missile strike against
Palestinian Hizballah based in Lebanon due to continuous cross-border incidents and repeated
rocket attacks. That prophecy is now history; the 34 day war took place mid 2006, prior to Rosh
HaShanah, the retaliatory invasion was temporarily ‘dampened down’ by the UN dictate. On the
following day whilst my fellow tourist took a coach tour, I took a taxi to the Crusader fort at Acre,
passing Napoleon’s Hill from where Napoleon’s armies, like the Crusaders before them, were
forced to evacuate the land and where during the Mandate the Hagannah unlawful militia that were
imprisoned, whilst on conviction some were hanged. I gazed questioningly across the mountains
some five to ten miles distant, on the other side of which lay Lebanon, and prayed for a universal
mercy. I received revelation that there would be serious civil disorder in Acre between Arab
and Jewish citizens following the short war conditions that would follow, and that there
would be other similar confrontations in other border areas, but the next conflagration from
Lebanon (after 2006) would mushroom out of control, leading to the invasion of the agents
of the Prince of Persia (Psalm 83) that will explode into World War III. The evil spirit that I
sensed inspired the building of the Crusader forts of yesteryear was tangibly present in Acre. My
mind was filled with dread and apprehension as I considered what is recorded in Jeremiah Ch
It was being revealed to me that today’s ‘playground of Satan’ was infinitely worse than in Ezekiel’s day
and the expulsion of Satan’s disciples would be horrific, but for the city to be cleansed, the desire of the flesh
of self-propitiation had to be totally expunged. The nations contest for political advantage in dividing this city
(Christ’s clothing), but God says that this is His holy City and will be cleansed and the demons that escape
will meet a worse fate. I was not given revelation of God’s time of wrath, just to prophesy that God’s judgment
was about to be experienced.
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1:13-15: “I am about to summons the northern kingdoms to pour out their disaster on My
people.” (paraphrased)51 Isaiah Ch 37:29 speaks of a hook, similar to that of Habakkuk Ch 1:15
from whence it can be seen that God can entice the leaders of whatever nations He chooses to act
in foolhardy fashion, following the hardening of their hearts as He had done with the Egyptian
Pharaoh.
In December 2005 I received a revelatory word of knowledge that the global financial meltdown
of many nations’ economies will happen before the commencement of the next Sabbatical
(shmitta) year in 2008). I was told that the world would be entering a third seven year period of
Tribulation, following the 50-day ‘counting of the omer’ of 2007 that would lead to the countdown to
the commencement of World War III. It has since come to pass that the American sub prime
lending market for toxic mortgages collapsed, with many investment banks and hedge funds
bankrupting. Merrill Lynch, and Lehman Brothers to name but two financial houses were two of the
largest investment banks involved in fixed-interest trading that had both invested heavily in the sub
prime mortgage market, as had similar institutions governing Western banking operations.
I was instructed to return to Israel in May 2005 in order to declare the earthquake into
being that the Lord had spoken to me of on my Pentecost 2004 pilgrimage. I wrestled over
prophesying such a commission, and was reminded that Elijah had been called to declare a period
of drought over Israel, because Israel had not complied with Deuteronomy Ch 11:15 (1 Kings Ch
17:1). I booked to stay at Beit Bracha in Migdal (which had just been opened as a CMJ retreat). I
then moved to the YMCA Hotel on the shores of Lake Galilee, for I intended to prayer walk daily
the city of Tiberius and try to imagine Christ’s ministry in Galilee. I spent many waking hours
praying in my room as I sought to engage with the life of those earliest of Galilean disciples. I then
travelled by public transport to Jerusalem, where I had reserved a room at Christchurch (as I
always attempt to do), for my second successive Pentecost festivity in Jerusalem.
During the first night following my arrival at Christchurch I received a further revelatory word of
knowledge which coloured my earlier summations of interpretations of my 2004 mission. The
continuously unfolding revelation was centred on the 38 th year of celebration of the liberation of the
‘old city’ as the finale to the Six-Day War on June 7th 1967 (and the 14,000 day period of 38.8
years from the following Pesach (of 1967) that ended on Tuesday October 4th 2005 at the Rosh
Hashana. that followed.52 I heard the excited voices of the Haredi (the Orthodox) as they hurried
passed Christchurch on their way to the Western Wall, to pray over the reception of Torah at Sinai
on the evening proceeding the day of Shavuot. I knew this event took place annually, prior to this
particular midnight of the final of 50 days of a figurative ‘counting of the omer,’ which I was now
experienced for myself. I was awakened before daybreak from my first night’s sleep in the old city
by the happy chattering of the Orthodox Jews on their return from the Wailing Wall, as part of the
In December 2005 I received a confirmatory revelatory word of knowledge to the earlier revelation that the
world would be entering a third seven year period of Tribulation, for World War III would be stirred up by a
retaliatory IDF infiltration into Lebanon to attack Hizballah the Palestinian paramilitary forces sometime during
2006. As is now history, the 34 day war took place on July 12 th until August 4th 2006.
52 The eating of the first-fruits that the Israelite tribes themselves had planted as settlers, which followed the
initial tasting of fruit by the 12 spies planted by the Canaanites, 38.8 years (of 14,000 days) earlier. With
regard to the Babylonian exile, I knew that the 70 years of exile precisely coincided with the number of years
that the Israelites had not fulfilled their obligation to ‘let the land lie fallow’ (over a 490 year period, divided
into 70 periods of 7 years), it appeared as poetic justice to me that Mark’s Gospel account was also pointing
to the period between the initial two first-fruit feedings, a period of the Israelite blindness leading to their exile.
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worshipful ritual they celebrated by weaving their way in crocodile formation through the ancient
narrow streets around the Old City, singing praises over a two hour period. To their celebrations
were added the clamouring of bells announcing the anniversary of this special day (Jerusalem
Day) increasing the pleasurable hubbub, after which I suppose the celebrants would have
withdrawn and headed for further Biblical studies or for their day-jobs. Many other faithful Jews
throughout Israel and throughout the world study the Torah in their synagogues throughout the
night, to confirm their continuing allegiance for obedient service.
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I was instructed to take a stroll after breakfast by the city walls to the Pool of Bethesda, where I
received a further revelatory word of knowledge that the story of a Jewish male in Mark Ch 8:22-26
who had been healed of his blindness at Bethsaida (two miles north of Capernaum) after 38 years,
was a similar account to the account in John Ch 5:2 at the upper pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem.
The man born blind (both naturally and spiritually) of John Ch 9:1-7 was a Greek Gentile (possibly
a convert to Judaism, but more likely one of the group of Greek pilgrims who in John Ch 12:30 had
asked Philip obsequiously for an audience with Jesus the miracle worker, which was why these
accounts of not only signs and wonders and miracles, but also of historical significance; for they
were not written of the same blind man, all Gentiles were born spiritually blind until the Messiah
of the world revealed Himself firstly to the Jew. The accounts of the miraculous feeding of the
4,000 families in both Matthew and Mark, which had spread throughout the Roman Empire, without
anyone demanding further proof of Jesus’ divinity, was evidence that the Gentiles accepted the
Jewish Messiah as redeemer of mankind at face value based on His healing the sick, the lame and
the blind. It appears that the other Gospel writers purposely did not include the account of the
feeding of the 4,000, at which they were probably present. Returning to my room to meditate over
this revelation, I received a further revelation concerning the 14,000 day period of ‘tears in a
bottle’ (collected and stored, precious tears that God has counted, Psalm 56:8) paralleling the
same length of time that the Israelites had been confined to the wilderness, which indicated to me
that the new Sabbatical seven year cycle starting in 2008 would herald the start of the third and
final woe.
At midday, I returned to the same spot on the Temple ramparts on which I had stood in 2004
and made a declaration for about ten minutes, with my right hand on my Bible. I spoke an
earthquake into being; I guess that my prayer on the Mount of Olives in 1995, pleading for an
earth-moving sign had deeper and extensive consequences than I had realised at that time. 53 I
demanded the retraction of the Islamic and Hebraic assertion that God had no divine Son and I
called on demons to flee, taking their evil intentions and practices with them. I cursed the spirit of
evil that permeates Jerusalem and demanded the Israeli Jews and Arabs unite in defiance against
the evil imposed upon them. As I drew my tirade to an end, the muezzin through the amplification
systems in nearby minarets commenced the call of Muslims to prayer. I commanded the muezzin
to be silent (as I had done at the time of Pres. Rabin's internment, whilst I was on the Mount of
Olives in 1995 testifying to my faith). A friend with whom I had shared my intentions over breakfast,
had secretly followed me from Christchurch (in order to pray over the completion of my mission),
on my retelling her of my experience later, she told me that the muezzin’s calling to prayers came
to a stuttering halt, as she watched me addressing and gesticulating Satanic strongholds. However
having delivered my address, whilst walking back to Christchurch I was rewarded by a short
On the Rosh HaShanah of 2005, that followed my second spiritually guided visit to Israel at Shavuot in
2004, an earthquake tremor was recorded in all those towns where I had placed my feet during my two 2004
pilgrimages, which I considered as significant, considering that I had been commanded to call an earthquake
into being!
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shower of rain from a passing rain cloud that I accepted as a blessing over my prophetic
endeavours! I returned home a few days later having attended the Christian Friends of Israel (CFI)
Shavuot 2005 Conference at the King of Kings Church in Jerusalem. I did not return to Israel until
2009, on being commanded to attend the 2009 celebration of the Feast of Tabernacles, and then
to travelling with a party of (UK) PFI members visiting Messianic and Arab communities of faith. I
enjoyed many divine appointments and further confirmation of the outcome of my earlier revelatory
encounters, which I will further expand on for the remainder of this book.
It takes 2,520 years for both the Sun and the Moon to complete a full orbit of the universe,
which coincides with my understanding of a circular period of time of judgement for what is likely to
transcend the heavens into action on Earth, for there is no escape from destiny. From the
destruction of the walls of the City of Babylon in 520BC, until the year 2000AD at the
commencement of the second intifada initiating the impetus of the third woe (of the Great
Tribulation, the three woes were previously ordained). Perhaps the Jewish New Year that
commenced on September 29th 2000AD completed a similar circle of orbit to the two governing
lights of this planet; on this occasion resulting in the ending of the times of persecution of the Jews
by the Gentile nations?54
I received a revelation that the three woes referred to in Revelation Ch 8:13, Ch 9:12,
replicated the three invasions of the Philistines on Judah (2 Samuel Ch 21:15-18). The woes of the
Book of Revelation are an allusion to the three separated occupations of much of Europe by Islam
On the division of the kingdom into the Northern and Southern kingdoms in 930BC, the House of Israel lost
the right of independent kingship, thus fulfilling Leviticus Ch 26; 2,520 years later the blessing of abundance
was passed on to Great Britain, when the British Navy in 1588AD defeated the Spanish Armada (to be
pedantic, the 2,520 years period ended in 1591AD, perhaps it took three years for the blessings to really
flourish, with Britain becoming a fruitful vine, whose branches extended beyond national borders, Genesis Ch
49:22). The British Empire became a Commonwealth of Nations, on receiving this special spiritual blessing of
abundance. Perhaps it was the leadership of Oliver Cromwell, who in 1665AD invited the Jews to return to
Britain that began the successful expansion of the Commonwealth. The seven years of Nebuchadnezzar’s
illness for the sin of pride had to be served. The seven years multiplied by the number of days in a
Babylonian year of 360 days (7x360=2,520) amounted to 2,520 days; which God ordained as a fixed period
of judgement, complimentary to the 2,520 years of the two ‘greater planets of our universe. Conferring the
same number of Biblical days as an equal number of Biblical years is quite legitimate because we read in
Numbers Ch 14:34: “According to the 40 days in which you spied out the land, you shall bear your
iniquity for 40-years.” (equally my sense is that when God speaks of the ‘times of the Gentiles being
fulfilled’, He is probably alluding of ‘years of subjugation of Jews by Gentiles’.) The Genesis Ch 10 account of
Britain’s special blessing of ascendancy was withdrawn by God for accumulated sins. On October 31 st 1917
the British Cabinet agreed the provision of a homeland for Diaspora Jews in Judea. Arthur J Balfour the
British Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs) issued policy statement in the form of a letter dated November
2nd 1917 to Lord Rothschild Chairman of the British Zionist Movement: ‘I have much pleasure in conveying
to you on behalf of His Majesty’s Government, the following declaration of sympathy with Jewish
Zionist aspirations, which had been submitted to and approved by the Cabinet. It being clearly
understood that a National Homeland for the Jewish people, using Britain’s best endeavours, without
prejudicing civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine, the British
government will ensure the rights and political status enjoyed by Jews in Britain being upheld.’ The
wording of the policy statement was convincing enough to satisfy the Allied Supreme Council of the 52
member countries of the League of Nations meeting in 1920 in San Remo, to officially grant the British
Government the Mandate to supervise the restoration of world Jewry into Judea, to ‘facilitate Jewish
immigration’ to Palestine. Unequivocally it was the intention of the League of Nations to cede the whole of
Judea (including trans-Jordan) over to the Jews just as soon as the Jewish population exceeded that of the
resident Arabs.
54
The Lord is My Shepherd
(which translated means ‘submission to Allah’). The first two periods of woe can clearly be
identified from the distinctions between the early occupations by the Ottoman Empire and the latter
woe of infiltration and assimilation through immigration into secular western nations. In Revelation
Ch 9;1-3 John describes the uncountable locusts as appearing in swarms from the Abyss, and
from a revelation received whilst in Jordan in 2,000 I knew the locusts to be led by the Muslim
Brotherhood under satanic control. The Saracens of the first woe that ruled for five months (for 150
days transposed into the 150 years between 613-763AD)were the invading hordes of horsemounted troops: ‘An enemy that strikes like scorpions’ wearing ‘golden crowns’ and having
‘breastplates of iron’,55 and described by John as locusts. The Saracens (later known as
Mohammedans) on becoming followers of Mohammed (c570-632AD), in 613AD attacked and
destroyed the Greek Orthodox Churches in close proximity to the city of Mecca, which the
Saracens had wrested from the Koreish tribe. In 630AD the Mohammedans also occupied
Jerusalem, massacring between 30,000-60,000 citizens and soldiers. The Saracens were filled
with religious fervour to recapture the lands for Allah that the armies of Alexander the Great had
conquered in earlier years. The ambition of the Saracens grew and they determined to convert
other people groups into what is today called Islam. Their armies rapidly expanded eastwards into
Central Asia, India and China and westwards into North Africa and 80-years after Mohammed’s
death in 632AD, Islam had become the prime religion in Algeria and Morocco and the lands of
Zoroastrian Persia. In 711AD with their policies of expansion’ firmly committed to overrunning
Europe, the Saracen armies under the command of Tariq ibn Ziyad attacked Christendom through
three fronts, north through Greece, west through Southern Italy and south through the Iberian
Peninsular by crossing the Straights of Gibraltar, capturing Granada (southern Spain) establishing
a Moor (name given to the Berber people of North Africa and the Sahara Desert) as king in
Granada (a ‘Caliphate’, which embraced all of Western Europe within 21 years). At that time the
Saracen forces controlled the Straights of Gibraltar, from where they swept northwards occupying
Spain, Portugal and much of France. At their ascendancy in 763AD the Saracens built the City of
Baghdad. The Saracens had occupied much of Christendom for a 150 year period, which was an
allusion to the 150 days of God’s protection through His stopping and draining the waters of the
Great Flood (Genesis Ch 8:3, Revelation Ch 9:5), which I repeat the complimentary Biblical term of
150 years and 150 days is similar to 2,300 days and years and 2,520 days and years (as set out in
Numbers Ch 14:34).
150
However in today’s world view Al Qaida believes the way to flood Christendom is through
Islamic families migrating and submersing other faiths by outnumbering and later subjugating the
national homeland. The Saracens did not retreat from the lands they had occupied, but through
living in harmony with the people groups in the lands they had previously defeated and occupied,
assimilation became the approved method of transposing their faith and shariah law on their
neighbours of other or no faith, they successfully saw conversions, mostly through the peaceful
means of marriage; which is similar to how the Christian faith has mushroomed. My sense is that
at that time in history, the Islamic leaders were mainly concerned in repelling any invasion of
infidels into the heartland of Islam. In 868AD the Muslim settlers who ruled Southern Italy were at
the very gates of Rome threatening to sack the city, if the Holy See did not pay the tribute
demanded. The Vatican must have paid the tribute for the Pope retained temporal authority over
Christendom. On Christmas Day 800AD the Coronation of the Holy Roman Emperor
In Revelation Ch 9:17 the armies of the Ottoman Empire were identified as wearing a much more colourful
and distinctive breastplate than had been worn by the Saracens. The periods of success of the two Islamic
military forces of the Saracens and the Ottomans were separated by centuries of time.
55
Israel O Israel
151
Charlemagne (son of King Pepin III, like his father he had married a Merovingian princess) was
anointed by Pope Leo III into office and crowned ‘Imperator Romanorum’. Charlemagne drew up a
charter acknowledging the papacy as both temporal and spiritual ruler over ‘all of the Papal
States’ and their citizens, and in so doing strengthened the authority of the papacy. In
Charlemagne the papacy had appointed a powerful king prepared to enforce Papal decrees. Over
his 13 year rule Charlemagne conquered the whole of Western Europe and forced every people
group in the occupied lands to convert to Catholicism or die in their stubbornness, cementing the
Roman Empire’s imposed leadership over Europe.
Having spent their initial bloodlust fervour the Saracens became a loose confederation of
Arab tribes centred on Iran (Persia). The first Islamic leader was Mohammed followed centuries
later by Saladin (1138-1193AD) a Kurdish born Seljuk Turk, who rose through the ranks of the
Egyptian army and through a military coup in 1171AD became the Sultan of Egypt. In 1187AD
Saladin’s armies drove the Roman armies (who at that time occupied both Syria and Jerusalem),
out of the Middle East, provoking the third Roman Catholic Crusade in 1189AD. In 1291AD under
Marmeluke’s rule Jaffa became the port of entry for all pilgrims into Jerusalem, which allowed for
Jews to pass from one country to another without harassment.
It was Osman I (1259-1326AD) as ruler of the Osmanli (a state in Anatolia formerly Asia
Minor, now part of Turkey), who declared a Unilateral Declaration of Independence (UDI) from
the Seljuk Egyptian Sultan in c1300AD and through his occupation of much of former Macedon is
credited with founding the Ottoman Empire. In 1394AD, at the Battle of Nicopolis (Bulgaria) the
Ottoman army of Sultan Mehmet I (1389-1421) employing field artillery56 defeated a Byzantine
army vastly superior in numbers to their own force, but without the advantage of cannons and
muskets. The true founder of the Ottoman Empire was Mehmet II whose armies occupied and
governed Constantinople from 1453AD for 400 years. It was ordained by God that the number of
years that the capital city of both Greece and Israel were occupied by the Ottoman Empire were
to be of identical 400 year length.57I recognise this period as the second woe. Greek occupied
Romania and Albania were next to be defeated by the Turks. During the Hungarian campaigns
(1421-1451AD Sultan Salim I’s (Sulimen) armies occupied Ukraine, much of Russia by 1478AD
and Poland before arriving at the gates of Vienna. These ‘European’ successful campaigns had
been partly due to the fanatical fighting prowess of the Janissary (soldier slaves who had
formerly been Christians but in return for their lives being spared, agreed to fight on the side of
John, having no knowledge of muskets, used allegorical images in Revelation Ch 9:18 picturing the ignited
gunpowder as three plagues of ‘fire, smoke and sulphur’. The description of horses having a sting in the tail
was to indicate that the Ottoman Moors transported their wheeled cannons strapped behind the horses that
pulled the carriages, therefore the barrels (or mouths) faced the opposite direction to the enemy they were
advancing against!
57 In 1217AD just before Rabbi Judah Ben Samuel (a leading Talmudic scholar of Germany) died, he
prophesied that the Ottoman Turks would rule over the holy city of Jerusalem for eight jubilees (8x50=400
years). 300 years later in 1517AD the Ottoman Turks took control of Jerusalem, and 400 years later in 1917
during the Feast of Hanukkah, the Ottomans then were driven from Jerusalem when British General Edmund
Allenby (a Christian, dismounting at Jaffa Gate) rode into the capital city on a white horse, following the
Ottoman Turks withdrawing from what was soon to be the Allies victory. The Rabbi’s prophecy went on to say
that after the eight jubilees, the ninth jubilee would have Jerusalem being a no-man’s-land, which it was from
1917 to 1967 until the Six-Day-War, when the Israeli Defence Forces liberated East Jerusalem from the
Jordanians. The Rabbi’s prophecy then stated that in the tenth Jubilee Jerusalem would be controlled by
Israel’s own government and then the Messianic end times would begin.
56
The Lord is My Shepherd
the Muslims). In 1515AD Israel was conquered by Suleiman, with Jerusalem capitulating in
1517AD becoming a province of the Ottoman Empire, and remained so until World War I and the
defeat of the allied Axis nations in 1917.
152
The commencement of the second woe (the rise of the second ‘wave of locusts’), were the
Ottoman Turks of Revelation Ch 9:15, who were recognisable through the use of the phrase:
‘arising for this very hour and day and month and year’, which in Biblical terminology is for ‘a
fixed period of time’. Suleiman II (1494-1566AD) became the Ottoman warrior Sultan in 1520
until 1566AD. Suleiman’s troops defeated the Hungarians at Mohács in 1526AD and from this
vantage point besieged Vienna in 1529AD. The Ottoman Moors threat was resisted even though
the Moors continued their attacks for 200 years. On establishing a naval fleet, Suleiman
appointed Barbarossa as Admiral of the Fleet that from the mid 16th Century AD dominating the
Mediterranean Sea until the Battle of Lepanto in 1563AD, which was the demise of the Arabic
maritime might. The Straits of Bosporus separating Europe from the Middle East were readily
patrolled from Istanbul, which city provided the natural fortification between the East and the
West.58 From Daniel Ch 8, I believe that America and her allies were the ram nations on their
attacking the conquering goat nation of Iraq in 1991. From the broken horns emerged a greater
threat, Iran, or possibly Al Qaida and the supportive locust nation took the battle into the ram
nations of Christendom. Why I am so certain of this is the fact that on the morning of my 58 th
birthday in September 1992, the Lord revealed to me that the treacherous covenant known as
the Oslo Accord that was the infamous covenant leading to death would soon be signed (see
page 114). The covenant was signed on September 13th 1993 and that there were exactly 2,300
evenings and mornings between the signing of the Oslo Accord and the New Year’s Day of
2000AD, of which I had received revelation in advance. I was puzzled in that I could not align this
latest 2,300 day period, with the 2,300 days of Daniel Ch 8:14. In 2010 my puzzlement was
resolved.59
The 400 years may be broken down thus: one year=360-years, one month=30 years, one day and one
hour=one year, 360+30+1=c400 years). The c400 years were the length of time that the Greek capital of
Constantinople was governed by the Ottoman Turks. The distinctive breastplate of the armies differentiates
them from the Saracens, as does their use of gunpowder, a recent addition to Arabic armoury. The Greek
War of Independence (1821-27) supported by the Western powers of Christendom was able to re-establish
an independent monarchy in 1832, thus ending the second woe (the skirt worn by the Greek National Guard
has 400 pleats, one for every year of Muslim occupation).
59 The Hurva Synagogue (claimed to be the most magnificent of synagogues, which had been constructed by
Ashkenazi Jews in 1701AD, having made aliyah from Europe) was originally destroyed by Muslims soon after
its completion owing to the synagogue towering as high as nearby mosques, violating a key Islamic tenet that
no church or synagogue can be taller than adjacent mosques. Rabbi Vilna Gaon had prophesied that the
Hurva Synagogue would be destroyed and rebuilt twice more and following the third rebuilding, construction
would begin on a new Temple. The Hurva Synagogue was more than just a house of prayer, it was a venue
for key historical events and symbolized, perhaps more than any other site, the Jewish people’s yearnings to
return to their homeland. Its existence gave concrete proof that Judaism cannot be reduced solely to an
abstract religious faith devoid of national aspirations, as secular humanists claimed. While the Western Wall
has been the focal point of prayers for redemption, the Hurva Synagogue has been at the centre of Jewish
activism to maintain a presence in the Land of Israel. This synagogue was rebuilt in 1864 but dynamited by
Jordanian troops after they occupied the Old City during the 1948 War of Independence. It has been recently
rebuilt; being rededicated under tight security in the Old City’s Jewish Quarter on Monday March 15 th 2010.
The Rabbinate of Jerusalem (presumably with the backing of the renewed Sanhedrin, who had received
permission to construct a new altar of sacrifice in the Old City of Jerusalem) had previously stated publicly
58
Israel O Israel
153
This leads me into recounting the prophecy received at the Wailing Wall in 2,000, in which
following the commencement of the second intifada Jesus said to me:-“You are witnessing the
first minor skirmishes in a major insurrection that will escalate into the final international
religious (ideological) war between Isaac and Ishmael in which the whole world will become
embroiled.” I had received revelation that the Greek military coup in 1967 deposing King
Constantine II the final Greek king had occurred 2,300 years following the decisive Battle of the
River Granicus between the Persian army led by Darius III, who was defeated by the Greek army
led by King Constantine I on June 7th 334BC. At which time the Greek Empire (the belly and thighs
of bronze, the third beast of Daniel Ch 7) assumed global status from the Persian Empire (the
chest and arms of silver), which had been ordained by God.
The circumstances surrounding Christ’s repeating the prophecy of the blood red eclipse of Joel
Ch 2:10 (Matthew Ch 24:29), points to the occupying forces of the king of the North being called
(commanded) into attendance on the battlefield of Armageddon (Daniel Ch 11:40-45, Revelation
Ch 16:16). The blood moon eclipse confirmed the year of this prophetic fulfilment, “immediately
following (the seven years of history, during which the antichrist will ride successively each of the
four horses of the apocalypse, as the end time scenario deteriorates and unfolds). Revelation Ch
6:2-8 states that “at the close of the Tribulation, the sun will be darkened and the moon will
not give its light.” This prophetic event confirms to me that the experience of a Gideon’s army
being raised to confront the forces of the antichrist will be repeated. Dear believer do not be fearful,
when nations and global institutions are shaken to destruction and the surrounding seas become
mountainous, look up and know that your salvation draws near (Luke Ch 21:28). What is my word
of caution for the believer today? Regardless of your future intentions, I urge you to pray for those
who have not yet encountered the living Lord Jesus, that they will come to understand and accept
the good news of the Gospel of God, and will undertake to share the Gospel surrounding the
Second Coming of Christ; the King of creation with every uninformed person whom they meet. If
you have difficulty in your humility in speaking to others about your faith, then please provide them
with a copy of this summary, or some other book that you think more appropriate.
I am grateful to have heard of pastor Mark Biltz of El Shaddai Ministries of Bonney Lake,
Washington, USA, who attested on his website to having surfed the website of the US National
Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) in May of 2008 in order to ascertain the
occurrences of lunar and solar eclipses during the 21st century, and written his conclusions on his
webpage. My reader can confirm my representation of his results; from which he discovered that
four total lunar (red moon) eclipses (referred to as ‘tetrads’), two of which fall on Jewish feast
days in 2014, followed by two in 2015, also fell on the same two feast days. The 2014/15 tetrad will
that it was their intention to announce their plans for the rebuilding of the Temple on the Temple Mount to the
general public on March 16th, together with the provision of a sacrificial lamb offering for sin, for the million or
so pilgrims that attend the Pesach celebrations on March 30th in 2010. This was what Daniel Ch 9:27
prophesied as the continuation of the Daniel Ch 8:14 revelation, and is an abomination, because
without the shedding of Christ, the Pascal Lamb’s blood there is no remission for sin (Hebrews Ch
9:22). I cannot conceive what madness precipitated the Muslim nations to attack Israel in what is
remembered as the Six Day War during which the IDF liberated east Jerusalem on June 7 th 1967: an area
which included the Old City and the Temple Mount; as ordained by God centuries earlier! The continuously
unfolding revelation received whilst on my two missions to Israel in 2004 and the mission of 2005, was added
to on receiving revelation centred on the 38th year of celebration of the liberation of the ‘old city’ as the finale
to the Six Day War, and the 14,000 day period of 38.8 years from the Pesach of 1967 that ended on Tuesday
October 4th 2005 at the Rosh Hashana that followed.
The Lord is My Shepherd
commence at the Feast of Passover on April 4th 2014, and will be followed on the first day of the
Feast of Tabernacles (aka the Feast of Succoth) on October 8th. In 2015 the lunar eclipses will
occur at Passover on April 4th and at Tabernacles on September 28th, thus completing the tetrad.
There are also to be two solar eclipses occurring in 2014/2015, at these feast celebrations, the
first will be a total eclipse occurring on Nisan 1 (March 20th) in 2014,60 the first day of the religious
[civil] year). This eclipse is followed by a partial eclipse occurring on Tishrei 1 in 2015 (September
13th), the first day of the agricultural calendar); the two events conjoining the two feasts. It seems to
me that God’s dating of when the first year of the 50 year Jubilee cycle started is not the same as
that of the Rabbinate. It is clear from Joel Ch 2:31 (which Peter retold in Acts Ch 2:20-21), and the
opening of the sixth seal of Revelation Ch 6:12, and references concerning red moon eclipses
and the sun being darkened by an eclipse in the last of days, that this Biblical prophecy are
shortly to be fulfilled. Pastor Biltz concluded that The Lord is to return in 2015, which is in line
with the supernatural revelatory dreams and trances that I have received over many years.
There is a constant theme of association between the two feasts of Passover and the Feast of
Tabernacles, as there is between the Tabernacle and the Heavenly Temple, that is reminiscent of
the complimentary existence between days and years of events occurring that are not obvious to
the casual reader.
154
NASA’s website has also revealed that three partial solar eclipses in successive years in
2008, 2009, and 2010, on Av 1, the fifth Hebrew month of the year; Av 1 (August 1st) in 2008, Av 1
(July 22nd) in 2009, and on Av 1 (July 11th) in 2010, which I believe to be the final milestone
pointing travellers to Jerusalem, before the Islamic nations surrounding Israel invade Jerusalem
(Psalm 83), but from revelation received (see page 142) that they occupy the city of the Almighty
God. Spiritual sight will be given to Jews and Christian Gentiles, as God removes the blindness of
eyes and heart from those who despise the Son of God without reason. The blindness of the
Israelites paralleled the blinding of King Zedekiah will be removed, and the circumcision of the
heart and eyesight prophesied will take place at this time. 61 I am sure my reader will have accepted
on reading this biography, that I have been blessed in receiving God’s blessing of revelation. I
have attempted to pass on that information as instructed, of which I wrote in Chapter 4 of Wake
Up! The Lord is Returning. In which I recorded God’s words to me: “A penny for your thoughts.
Write them down in a book together with your understanding of Holy Scriptures, so that
when you share with others no salient points are forgotten.” This confirmation to write an
eschatological book was not too dissimilar from the command of Jeremiah Ch’s 30-31, or its
contents. I would direct my reader to my blog, for further updates, which may be read from surfing
my El Shaddai Cambridge B@B website. May God give you understanding of His direction in your
life as you complete the reading of this book and other focussed readings. Amen
It was on Nisan 1 that Noah was born, which was the anniversary of the disembarking of the animals and
Noah’s family from the Ark on its grounding on dry land, a theme that is associated with the New Jerusalem
coming down from heaven (Genesis Ch 7:6, 8:13). King Solomon consecrated the first temple (2 Chronicles
Ch 5:3) on the first day of the Feast of Tabernacles, of which Joel prophesied (in Ch 2:15-16) as being the
wedding day of the Messiah.
61 The tradition is that the 3,000 slain died on Tammuz 9 (the 4th month), precede the days leading to Av 1
(the fifth month). In a later year on the destruction of the Temple, the sons of King Zedekiah (my senses tell
me that Ezra and then the sages or Rabbinate as future leaders of the Israelites are an allusion to the royal
princes) who were killed ‘before his eyes’ after which trauma he was blinded (Jeremiah Ch 52:6-11), this was
believed to have occurred on Av 1. The Israelites recognise this period of sorrow known as ‘the dark times’ or
‘between the straights’ with the three week period between Tammuz 17 and Av 1, days of mourning,
repentance and lamentation.
60
Glossary
Glossary
Air Raid Patrol
ARP
Assemblies of God
AOG
Church of England
C of E
Covenant Ministries International
CMI
doodle bugs
V1’s and V2’s
Focus Christian Institute
FCI
Football Club
FC
Full Gospel Business Men’s Fellowship
International
grams
FGBMFI
g
headquarters
HQ
International Christian Embassy of Jerusalem
ICEJ
in charge
I/C
Israeli Defence Forces
IDF
kilogram
kg
London County Council
LCC
metres
m
millimetres
mm
Mission Aviation Fellowship
MAF
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
ME
Navy, Army and Air Force Institute
NAAFI
non-commissioned officers
NCO
156
New Frontiers International
The Lord is My Shepherd
NFI
Palestine Liberation Organisation
PLO
Palestinian National Authority
PNA
Parish Church Council
PCC
per cent
%
Public House
PH
Prime Minister
PM
Prolapsed introverted disc
PID
Roman Catholics
RCs
Registered Plumbers Association
RPA
Reverend
Rev
Royal Society of Accountants
RSA
Squash Rackets Association
SRA
television
TV
Through Faith Missions
TFM
Doodle bugs
V1s and V2s
Victory in Europe Day
VE Day
Victory over Japan day
VJ Day
Young Men’s Christian Association
YMCA
Jewish Terms
Glossary
Aliyah. A ‘going up’ to Jerusalem or a return to Israel’s homeland
Succoth. The Feast of Tabernacles
Yom Kippur, Day of Atonement
Shofar. Rams Horn