54
CHAPTER – II
MARRIAGE: SALVATION OR BONDAGE?
Marriage is a physical, mental and spiritual union of two
souls.
The
ideal
couples
are
they
who
are
two
bodies with one soul. The true love between the couple
does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking
outward together in the same direction.1
Marriage, as an institution, has been in existence since times
immemorial. Not only does it ensure the vitality and continuity of the
human race, it is a vital link which binds together two humans into a
union of co-existence and mutual fulfillment. The Marriage as an
institution is the foundation for the family which in turn builds the
society.
The definition of Marriage differs from one person’s perception
to another person’s, from one culture to another culture. But across
the globe in all the cultures, the meaning of Marriage remains the
same. On the whole, it is meant for procreation and continuing the
family lineage.
Marriage attains great significance in Indian context. In Hindu
culture, Marriage is considered to be a sacred duty on the part of the
couple. As per the cultural norms of Indian society, the husband and
the wife are supposed to be equal partners in the domain of the
household. As for the husband-wife relationship, the traditionally
55
accepted aims of a Hindu Marriage are: Dharma (duty), Artha (wealth),
Kama (sensous pleasures) and Moksha (salvation). They are known as
Purusharthas, the four main aims of human life which have to be
fulfilled by the couple who are married.
The couple who tie the nuptial knot promise to nourish each
other, to grow together in strength, to preserve wealth, to remain
lifelong friends, to be together forever, to care for children, to share
joys and sorrows; in short, to protect and preserve the harmony of the
society by fulfilling their roles conscientiously. These seven vows are
known as Sapthapadi which forms an important segment in the
Hindu marriage.
Similarly, in Christian faith, Marriage is considered as: “a gift
from God and part of God’s plan for creation.”2 It is a means through
which man and woman enter into relationship and support each other
as husband and wife. Their relationship is built on mutual love and
trust towards each other which provides congenial atmosphere for
rearing the children.
Islam too recognizes the importance of Marriage. It believes that
God has created man and woman from single pair of species and
made them a family to know each other and build tribes and nations.
This is clearly brought out in “Quran Sura (49:13; cf 4:1)”3. In Islam,
the relationship between husband and wife is based on mutual
respect and a sense of responsibility.
56
Thus, it can be said that Marriage as an institution is significant
in almost all religions. Only the ways of solemnizing the Marriage
differs from one religion to the other. India, being the land of diversity,
has different wedding customs and religions. East, West, North and
South India have different marriage rituals and styles. Though the
rituals, norms and celebrations differ from one part of the country to
the other, they bring a feeling of integrity yet in a dissimilar way of
welcoming the new member into the family. The ceremonies and
rituals in Indian marriages speak about the importance given to
Marriage in India.
Indians believe that Marriages are made in Heaven and
performed on Earth and the relationship is not limited to one life alone
but extends across seven or more lives. This belief is most firmly
rooted in the minds of Indian women. Hence, Marriage forms a most
important segment in the life of an Indian woman. Both the roles of a
woman – those of wife and mother - are entwined with marriage. So to
discuss whether Marriage brings salvation or bondage to woman, one
needs to study the position of woman as wife from ancient to the
modern times in the Indian society.
During Vedic and pre-Vedic ages, there were no gender
discriminations and exploitations. Women were hailed equally with
men in all respects. There are evidences in the Upanishads where
educated women like: Gargi, Maitreyi, etc. participated in the
57
philosophical and scientific discussions along with men. Sacred
rituals like yagnas were performed with the wife sitting next to the
husband. In fact, a man could never perform any religious ceremony
without his wife by his side. Man is considered to achieve manhood
only through his wife and his progeny is also a part of himself. So the
sages have declared that the husband and the wife are but two sides
of the same coin. The wife is termed as sahadharmacharini, one who
cooperates in the fulfillment of social and religious duties. Hence, the
primary motif of marriage is not merely individual satisfaction but the
achievement of purusharthas i.e., the four pronged ultimate goal of
life.
In the ancient Hindu scriptures known as “Sruthis” (primary
scriptures viz. Vedas, Upanishads and Bhramasutras), woman is
hailed with great respect; the female principle denotes Divine Energy
and is worshipped as Shakti. So a Hindu woman is given the
opportunity to realize herself as a woman rather than to express
herself. But, in the Western religious or secular works similar
references of honouring or idealizing women are not evident. The
dominating Father concept which is attributed to Godhead in
Christianity is also absent in Hinduism. In the Hindu pantheon, gods
and goddesses are treated with equal reverence. Thus the distinction
between male and female seems to disappear in the Indian thought.
Even religious myths and legends contained stories which dealt with
metamorphosis from one gender to the other. But such a rosy picture
of woman’s status in the early Vedic period diminished at later stages.
58
In later Vedic period, the Varna system (Caste system) became
very rigid which consequently affected the status of women in the
society. Women were made victims in the internal social conflicts of
the society. This is followed by foreign invasions which forced women
to stay within the four walls for protection. Protecting women has
become pressing issue in the society and the husbands were given the
responsibility to protect their wives. This gradually developed gender
based roles in society.
The post-Gupta period that followed was naturally antithetical
in character and women were denied the specific privileges of
scriptural education. Their tutelage was entrusted to their parents till
marriage and to their husbands afterwards. This confinement created
a wide gap not only in the intellectual lives of women but also in the
consequent respect which is due to them. Commenting on the position
of women in India, Jayasree Sukumaran observes:
Women were reduced to the status of an animal existence,
totally banished from the frontiers of education. They
were allotted socio-cultural roles distinct from that of
men, very much like, in Judaeo-Christian culture and
there existed very clear discrimination between the rights
and privileges of a daughter and a son.4
The secondary ancient Hindu scriptures known as “Smirithis” (viz.
Puranas, Ramayana, Mahabharatha and Dharmashatras) laid down
59
total surrender as the supreme duty of married women. This entails
an all-absorbing devotion to husband, on the part of woman, even if it
were at the cost of smothering her own individuality, extinguishing
her own desire of self-development and negating her freedom of choice
in matters involving her self. It was during this time (10th century)
that certain practices like “Purdah system”, “Child marriages” and
“Satisahagamana” originated in the society.
Purdah system curtailed women’s liberty to move easily in the
public. They were not allowed to move freely among men. The inner
chambers of the house are covered with purdahs. Child marriage is
another practice which was prevalent in the society. It was performed
to protect the young girls from abduction by the enemies. The most
devastating “Satisahagamana” which is a religious funeral practice
among some Hindu communities of Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh,
crept into the society where the widow either voluntarily or by force
immolated herself on her husband’s funeral pyre after his death.
These practices were supported by religious scriptures also. For
instance, in Garuda Purana, the practice of Sati was justified as
follows: “a woman who dies in the company of her husband shall
remain in heaven as many years as there are hairs on her person” 5.
The act is further justified by saying that “it purges the couple of all
accumulated sin and guarantee their salvation and ensure their
reunion in the after life” 6. With the support from religious scriptures,
these practices paved the way for subjugation of women in the society.
60
Another expectation of woman is that she ought to be tenderer
and less assertive than man. The fulfillment of her identity consisted
in subordination to man and in learning all the mandatory skills of
running a household and ministering to the needs of her husband and
family in a spirit of compliance and compromise. She is made
responsible for the welfare of future generations. As pointed out by
Sudhir Kakar, it is “feminine role” that is crucial:
In addition to the ‘virtues’ of self-effacement and selfsacrifice, the feminine role in India also crystallizes a
woman’s connection to others, her embeddedness in a
multitude of familial relationships. 7
The duties and moral responsibilities of the wife have been
clearly spelled out by religious scriptures. It is left to the discretion of
the husband as to whether he chooses to treat her as an individual
who has the right to think and act according to her own convictions,
or as a person who gains importance in his view just by virtue of what
she does for him. The wife is expected to maintain an unflinching
sense of loyalty towards her husband and his family even in the face
of their occasional callous and scornful rejections and slighting
references to her identity. Analyzing the women’s life in Hindu society
Rehana Ghadially, a critic comments as follows:
61
Our culture is bound hand and foot by our literary
tradition which makes our scriptures the determining
factors for moulding a woman’s life. 8
Ekanath Ranade, commenting on the position of women in Hindu
culture, brings out a shocking contradiction in the mental set up of
the Indian male:
A Hindu worshipped goddesses and degraded women.
He adored the mother and slighted the wife.9
Although in the metaphysical dimension the male/female
distinction disappears in Hindu thought, in practical life, things
appear to be different. The discriminatory practices based on gender,
which began in the later Vedic period, continue to prevail in the
modern Indian society in spite of the influence of the West. The
problems for Indian women continue from Post-Gupta period to till
date. If it is “purdah system” and “Sati” in the past, it is “dowry
system” and “female foeticide” in the present. Only the face of the
problems has changed, but the problems for women still remain in the
society in some form or the other. Hence, after examining the position
of women from the ancient to the modern times, it is clear that though
religions confirm marriage to be an important aspect in woman’s life
which brings salvation, in view of the mentioned problems, it appears
as if it is bondage for her. Even when viewed through Western
ideology, the Hindu scriptures and the traditional Hindu law-books
62
appear to have a strong anti-woman attitude. It appears as if marriage
curbs woman’s freedom to be an individual.
This problem i.e. whether Marriage is salvation or bondage for
woman has been debated by the Indian urban elite women who are
impressed by the Western ideas of individualism and materialism.
Hence, urban women are poised between the two worldviews. This
mental stance works as a decisive force in shaping the characters and
events in the fiction written by women writers of India.
As mentioned, Marriage becomes an important theme in the
novels of Indian women writers. It is regarded as the goal and destiny
of a woman. Hence modern women writers depict Marriage as a
resolution of the initial problem itself, and the turning-point in the
female protagonist’s life and career. It is from her realization of what
marriage means (salvation or bondage) that the woman’s emotional
and intellectual maturation begins.
However, the image of woman, as reflected in contemporary
Indian Writing in English, has a multi-faceted demeanour and is a
complex amalgam of the ideal concepts and the reality. The entire
gamut of woman’s emotions and the abundant depth of her
consciousness are explored by writers like Mulk Raj Anand, Bhabani
Bhattacharya,
Kamala
Markandaya,
R.K.Narayan,
Anita
Desai,
Kamala Das and Raja Rao. All these writers have made a presentation
of the characters of different women in their fictive world which
63
unravels the literary sensibility of the period signaled by a growing
social awareness on the part of woman.
Study of marriages (gender relationships) and married women
characters form an interesting area of exploration in the novels of
Anita Desai and Kamala Markandaya. The novels of both Anita Desai
and Kamala Markandaya are attempts to redefine familial and social
relationships between men and women. As women writers, they are
immensely fascinated by the complexities of man-woman relationship
in rapidly changing social scenario. Their fiction proves that literature
provides a true reflection of the society. In fact, it is the society, which
gives the feedback to the imaginative faculty of the writer. These
women writers reflect the society and societal affairs through their
novels. Hence to analyze whether Marriage brings salvation or
bondage to the women protagonists portrayed in the novels of both
these writers, a study of marital spectrum devised by a sociopsychologists, William J. Leaderer and Dr. Don D.Jackson, in their
book, The Mirages of Marriages would be more appropriate at this
juncture.
According to Leader and Jackson, Marriage begins with forming
a relationship between two people and continues as a process
throughout their lives. A functional marital system is one which is
functioning, or operating, without debilitating blockage or impasses,
despite the presence of positive and negative elements in it. One
cannot accurately categorize a particular marriage as “happy” or
64
“unhappy.” The outside appearance of a marriage is often social
camouflage. Many discordant marriages appear happy, and on the
other hand, spouses who quarrel in public have achieved a functional
union, occasionally. The analysis-in-depth of a marriage must go far
beyond the apparent mood or appearance of the partners.
Leaderer and Jackson discuss different types of Marriages
under martial spectrum in The Mirages of Marriage. The spectrum is
not a scientific classification, but is merely a way of thinking about
marriage. The categories are arranged in order of desirability and
functionality. They include:
1. The Stable-Satisfactory Marriage
2. The Stable-Unsatisfactory Marriage
3. The Unstable-Satisfactory Marriage
4. The Unstable-Unsatisfactory Marriage.
It is easy to place a marriage in one of these categories. But as
one does so, it is important to remember that Marriage is a
continuous process, involving constant growth and metamorphosis. If
there is a change in the attitude of the partners, in their relationship,
in the status of one partner, the external pressures and the
environment, the marital state may move from one category to
another. A particular marriage may shift from one category to another,
and then, back again. No category is absolute. The Stable-Satisfactory
category marks the upper limit of the continuum and represents the
65
best of the marital state. This perfect harmonious relationship and
absolute compatibility is extremely rare. Likewise marriages, classified
as belonging to the category of the Unstable-Unsatisfactory, hardly
ever reach complete implosion. A totally destructive relationship is
impossible. The husband and the wife in a miserable marriage are
certain to enjoy at least a few pleasant moments and small mutual
triumphs, even if their pleasure consists in hurting each other. Minor
tensions based on conflicting interests, requiring some degree of
change and compromise may occur occasionally in all the marriages.
Thus it can be inferred that all successful and satisfying marital
bonds are based on a spirit of sacrifice and self-adjustment.
However, with change of times, the attitudes of people also have
changed. These days establishing individual identity is the cherished
dream for most of the individuals. This attitude gives a severe blow to
the concept of collective destiny. Therefore, the modern man is living
in an atmosphere which is not conducive to develop healthy
interpersonal relationships.
Such relationships have been explored by Anita Desai and Kamala
Markandaya in their novels. They try to stress the importance of the
primary ties for the development of wholesome personality. Thus a
study of the marriages and married couples in their novels, in the
light of Leaderer and Jackson’s marital spectrum, enables one to
understand whether marriage brings salvation or bondage to woman’s
66
life. It also specifies the attitude of these women novelists towards the
institution of Marriage.
The Marriages that are portrayed by Anita Desai and Kamala
Markandaya in their novels can be classified as Compatible and
Incompatible Marriages. If Rukmani and Nathan (Nectar in a Sieve) are
epitomes of Compatible Marriage, the couples Maya-Gautama (Cry,
The Peacock) and Sita-Raman (Where Shall We Go This Summer?) are
examples for Incompatibility. The marriages that are depicted by both
the writers can be arranged in four categories of marriage deduced by
William J. Leaderer and Dr. Don D. Jackson in their book The Mirages
of Marriage. Talking about the “Stable-Satisfactory Marriage,” William
J. Leaderer and Jackson opine that,
A stable and satisfactory marriage is possible between
elderly men and women who have been married for thirty
or more years who have grown up children living in homes
of their own. Each partner clearly reads the other signals
and in turn responds with unambiguous messages. This
effective
communication
makes
possible
the
establishment of trust. The spouses’ ready acceptance of
each other’s differences makes it possible for them to be
“creative” – to develop and project their own identities. In
such a collaborative relationship the man and woman
may not always agree, but when they do not, they accept
the disagreement comfortably and seek a team solution. 10
67
Such a compatible couple is Rukmani and Nathan in Kamala
Markandaya’s Nectar in a Sieve. They are married in harmony for more
than thirty years. Their children grow up and have life of their own.
Rukmani and Nathan have better understanding of each other. The
couple always seeks out a “team solution” for their problem, thus
setting themselves an ideal for the future generations.
Rukmani in Nectar in a Sieve enters the world of Nathan as his
wife, at a very tender age. She has enjoyed prosperity as the daughter
of the village head. Yet, with no second thought, she accepts the
decision of her parents, and marries Nathan, who is poor, both in
learning and earning. Knowing pretty well that he is conditioned to
draw nectar in a sieve and work without hope, she prepares to play
the anchor of hope.
The first shock that she receives is after looking at the small,
thatched mud hut of her husband, which is in no way comparable to
her parent’s house that she lived in before marriage. But she
understands the situation of her husband and digests the reality. She
feels it like a feather in her cap when she learns from her neighbour,
Kali that the small hut is built with the sweat and strain of Nathan.
The fuss your husband made! Why for weeks
he was as brittle as a bamboo before it bursts
into flame! He built your hut with his own
hands (Markandaya, Nectar 6).11
68
She is a simple woman. She feels perfectly satisfied with her married
life. The following words reveal her contentment:
This home my husband had built for me with his
hands in the time he was waiting for me, brought
me to it with pride (135).
Any Indian woman feels it a privilege to become a mother. After
quite a long time of mental agony Rukmani conceives. The news of the
arrival of a baby fills the house with joy. But when a girl child is born,
Rukmani feels terribly upset at the news, for it is not a piece of happy
news for her husband. This speaks about her love and affection
towards her husband. Her disappointment is clear when she says:
What woman wants a girl for her first-born? (14)
She visits temples, sees a doctor and resorts to all sorts, just to have a
son. Rukmani’s face is enlightened with pride on seeing Nathan’s face.
My husband was overjoyed at the arrival of a son (20).
Finally, she is blessed with five sons. Nathan is a typical Indian
man and Rukmani, the typical Indian wife, who does anything to
please her husband. Rukmani has the strength and courage to face
any type of problem. Rukmani’s binding influence helps Nathan to
overcome one of life’s most disgusting ordeals. Like a bolt from the
blue, shattering the influencing faith of Rukmani in Nathan, comes
69
the news of his clandestine relation with Kunthi. Rukmani is a typical,
conventional Indian woman, a possessive lady, ready to struggle to
protect him by all means from the bewitching tangles of another
woman. She suffers to digest the truth. She pities herself which is
evident from the following lines.
Disbelief, disillusionment, anger, reproach, pain to find
out, after so many years in such a cruel way Kali’s words.
She has fire in her body, men burn before and after.
My husband was one of those men. He has known her not
once but twice (86).
Betrayal in any relationship is barbarous and in the arena of
matrimonial relationship, it is the cruelest act against the trust of the
partner. Rukmani is an Indian woman, whom the Indian tradition has
taught serenity and sense of balance to uphold the sanctity of
marriage. She suffers the wound; but she takes care that the scar
does not remain forever. She assimilates the fact that people live
together not just because they forget but they forgive each others’
faults. This speaks volumes of her moral courage, the strength of her
heart and her sense of deep love.
It is purely the strength of Rukmani’s love and endurance that
could see the family stay together. This quality of Rukmani is admired
by Dr. Kenny, an English doctor, who has bitter matrimonial
experience. His wife left him; and even tries to erase his memory from
70
the minds of his children. One thing he admires in the Indian woman
is the strong sense of duty which binds her to the family - husband,
children, and parents.
Nathan feels proud to have a sane, serene and service oriented
wife. Kenny admires her: “Rukmani! You have sound instincts” (108).
She stands by Nathan’s side in all the days of troubles and
tribulations. She never finds fault with him for his inability to provide
food for her and her children. Rukmani understands her husband’s
situation and goes hand in hand with him through thick and thin of
his life. Seeing his poor economical background, Rukmani determines
to help Nathan economically. She cultivates vegetables at the back of
her court yard and sells them in the market. She starts saving money,
rice and dhal for the future. When her daughter Ira is born, she even
starts saving money for her daughter’s marriage. She attains a more
dignified position in the eyes of her husband and society.
From the day Rukmani has married Nathan, it has been a long
battle of life for her, ever facing only problems and troubles. Rukmani
receives shock after shock but she never loses her temper, courage or
sense of balance. Through the character of Rukmani, Markandaya
highlights the philosophy of Indian life i.e. stoic endurance in all
difficult situations. Commenting on the philosophy of life as depicted
in Markandaya’s fiction, M.K. Naik opines that,
71
A fatalistic attitude to life and philosophy of passive
suffering are indicated by Markandaya as typical to India
and Indian people in her novels.12
Rukmani shows the inner strength of the Indian wife to the entire
world. She will not succumb in a spineless manner to the problems as
she is not made of any brittle material. Hence, M.K. Naik comments:
The heart that is tempered in the flames of love and
faith, of suffering and sacrifice, will not easily accept
defeat.13
Rukmani, in the role of the Indian wife is the angel of the house.
She proves that her traditional role is the best suited and is the only
solution to the problems created by modernity. Even amidst peck of
problems, her soul never hardens; rather, it mellows into spiritual
ripeness. Problems act only as winnowers to become translucent. She
is no doubt the fulcrum of the family. Often her stoic nature is
misunderstood as lack of feeling. Dr. Kenny, the representative of the
West, admires the strength of Indian institution of marriage and
family. He is full of praise of the Indian wife for her fidelity. She never
forgets the adage that a wife’s place is with her man. Wife is the heart
of the family; family is the heart of the society. One has to understand
that beneath the façade of modernity, there is an Indian tradition
which acts as a sustaining element of Indian civilization which ever
remains to be a mystery to the West and even to the Indian men. It is
72
aptly expressed by Dr. Kenny “‘My God!’ He cried, ‘I do not understand
you’ ” (114).
It is purely due to Rukmani’s traditional attitude and strength of
character that makes her marriage survive as a stable and satisfactory
one. The contrast of this couple can be found an elderly couple, Mr.
and Mrs.Kaul in Anita Desai’s Fire on the Mountain. Nanda Kaul is an
elderly lady – a great grand mother with lots of experience in life. But
unfortunately she has life-long frustration caused by an unhappy
marriage with Mr. Kaul, the Vice-Chancellor of the University. Though
Mr. and Mrs. Kaul are elderly couple with long years of marital life,
they do not achieve the marital bliss enjoyed by Rukmani and Nathan
in Kamala Markandaya’s Nectar in a Sieve.
Commenting on the second variety, the “Stable-Unsatisfactory
Marriage,” Leaderer and Jackson opine as follows:
Though marriages in this category are stable, they are not
satisfactory. In a quiet, socially respectable manner the
people in this group suffer more pain, hate more
profoundly, and cause discomfort to others. Yet the
spouses appear to be unaware of their behaviour. The
couples grow old together in an unsatisfactory marriage
which is quite stable because neither is able nor willing to
acknowledge his dissatisfaction.14
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Sarojini and Dandekar in A Silence of Desire are the epitomes of
Stable-Unsatisfactory Marriage. The protagonist of the novel A Silence
of Desire is Dandekar. Yet the story is centered round Sarojini, his
wife. Sarojini is seen through the voice of Dandekar as a good wife and
a loving mother. Dandekar enjoyed a perfectly happy life for fifteen
years to the date of narration. He is happy for he is in control of
everything. He is only conscious of his wife’s physical existence. He is
a man with superiority complex. He is a typical representative of the
society which grooms a man to be nothing but dominating. He feels
gratified only when everything works according to his whims and
fancies. A slight change, for once, after fifteen solid years of marital
life, can make his peace of mind topsy-turvy. Their domestic life lacks
mutual understanding. The sanctity of the family is still surviving
because of the moral superiority of the Indian wife. The virtues of the
traditional wife are sketched out from the discussion at Dandekar’s
office.
Wives were faithful virtuous creatures, prepared like their
classical sisters to follow their husbands barefoot in
jungle (Markandaya, A Silence 36).15
The
bond
between
Sarojini and
Dandekar suffers some
limitations right from the beginning. He is the head of the family
carrying heavy burden of responsibility over his shoulders. He enjoys
and feels confident as long as everything goes according to his whims
and fancies. He would like to have control of all the strings of people
74
whom he considers puppets. As domestic harmony is a delicate
aspect, each one of the partners has to take care of one another.
Sacrifice, stress, love, is demanded equally from both the partners. If
these qualities exist, the family structure hopes to remain firm; but,
even without this the family structure of Indian society enjoys the
privilege of unity because of the patience and endurance of Indian
wife. In this novel, the solid foundation of their matrimonial
relationship depends upon the emotional feedback and physical
attention of Sarojini. Her role as wife has become a routine. Sarojini is
a wise wife who knows the secrets of retaining happiness and conjugal
bliss.
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers
And a prudent wife is from the Lord (208).
Sarojini is aware of the fact that every husband needs a word of
appreciation. She never misses to give a colouring of novelty to the
events, which commonly take place in the house. One comes across a
typical Indian man and Indian wife in Dandekar and Sarojini
respectively. One evening, as he comes from the office, he does not see
his wife in the house. Later he is informed of her visit to Rajam, her
cousin. That very evening, in the market place Dandekar accidentally
meets Rajam and comes to know that Sarojini and Rajam have not
met for the past four months. The seeds of doubt easily pave way into
the soil of his suspicious soul. He would make neither head nor tail of
her absence in the evening hours every day. The most private and
75
delicate issue is brought into public. Instead of solving it amicably
within the four walls of a home, he brings it into the wilderness of the
world.
The dialogues and attitudes of his colleagues at the office
deepen his distrust and develop further tensions. Mahadevan,
Dandekar’s colleague, has a very damaging opinion about married
women. He says that for a lasting, smooth and healthy marriage, wife
has to be cloistered during the absence of her husband. Dandekar
traces a photograph in the trunk of his wife. Suspicion on Sarojini
enters the recesses of his brain. Dandekar is so exposed with the
pressure of his doubt that he feels like enquiring his servant-maid
about his wife’s whereabouts. His troubled heart collapses all its finer
feelings, for a fraction of a second when Joseph, his colleague,
remarks on seeing his face: “You look as if your wife’s run away and
left you” (37).
Like
every ordinary Indian
male,
Dandekar has neither
irrevocable faith in God, nor solid trust in his wife. He pays heavily for
the unwarranted suspicion. Sarojini has absolutely done nothing that
can be labeled as “wrong.” She has kept away the news of her visit to
the Swami, whom she considers as the messenger of God. The reason
for this is obvious. Dandekar undoubtedly would have rejected the
values of Swami’s power.
76
The reason for her visit to the Swami is to get healed of a
tumour which is growing in her stomach. As she keeps her illness and
visits a secret from him, Dandekar suspects her fidelity. Without
diagnosing her “fault,” he blames her and dares to call her a “whore.”
This word hits her heart and cleaves it into two. The strength that she
has put forth at this juncture is the strength that she has drawn from
morality and tradition. Sarojini tries her level best not to take it to
heart. She accepts the situation with stoic attitude, goes ahead with
her domestic duties without a pinch of grudge against her husband.
Dandekar resolves to follow her to detect where she goes. He
follows her and finds her amidst devotees guided by a Swami and gets
confused. Dandekar realizes the blunder that he has committed; he
has doubted her chastity and her loyalty. He questions her with
gentleness “If only you had told me?” (87) Her answer reveals her
innocence, faith in God, desire to live and discharge the duties to the
best of her ability.
But I do not expect you to understand ……You with your
western notion, your superior talk of ignorance and
superstition. And mine is disease to be cured and so you
would have sent me to hospital and I would have died
there (87).
Sarojini now accepts for operation and feels not a bit of tension
while preparing to face the doctors and knives. The simple reason is
77
her immovable, unflinching faith in God. Her capacity to adapt herself
and adjust to situations is her real source of strength. It is purely her
love, her strength to endure which has saved the family from falling
into ruins. Dandekar gets back his wife, his peace, and his happiness.
He confesses; and in that confession one finds that wife is everything –
pleasure and treasure:
My wife is part of me now – I didn’t realize it in all the years
it has been happening but I know now that without her I’m
not whole. Being incomplete won’t kill me – I know that –
but it’ll take away most of everything that life means to me
(198).
Similarly, in Anita Desai’s Cry, The Peacock, Maya’s friends Leila
and Pom have “Stable-Unsatisfactory Marriages”. Leila, Maya’s friend
loves a boy in the college days who is a tubercular patient. In spite of
knowing the fact, she marries him against the wish of her parents.
Hence, she forbears with all childish vagaries of her husband. She
feels satisfied with the marriage in spite of difference in their
attitudes. Pom, another friend of Maya, has some differences with
Kailash, her husband, who is not ready to give in to her wish for
having a separate house of their own. But Pom, compromises with her
husband, Kailash, and his family; and she adjusts to the existing
situation and lives with him in a joint family. Hence, all these couples,
though dissatisfied with their spouses to some extent, look at brighter
side of things and compromise with life.
78
Mrs. and Mr. Lall, Gautama’s family friends, (Cry, The Peacock) are
pen-portraits of hypocrisy personified. Mrs. Lall publicly denounces
her husband as a charlatan and an opportunist, revealing the deepseated antipathy of a maladjusted marriage.
In the novel, A Handful of Rice, Kamala Markandaya creates
another wonderful character in the name of Nalini showing the
strength of Indian wife and the need for the restoration of traditional
values. This novel is a tangy tale of hideous poverty and eternally
nagging hunger. Ravi and Nalini in the novel, A Handful of Rice
represent “Stable but Unsatisfactory Marriage”. Ravi is the hero of the
novel. He is seen initially as a drunken refrain deprived of all sanity
and sanctity. He falls in love at the first sight with Nalini, the beautiful
daughter of a tailor, Apu. Commenting about the beauty of Nalini,
Ravi remarks as follows:
Who so ever loved that not at first sight
(Markandaya, A Handful 25).16
Ravi is deeply in love with his inaccessible Goddess, to the backbone.
He is so much in love with her, that he casts aside his pleasure
seeking life and prepares to do anything – suffer, sacrifice, slog to get
her as his life partner. She is the distilled essence of all that was sweet
and desirable in a woman. He longs for and imagines having her as
his wife.
79
Ravi made his dream girl his life partner. Initially he is very
loving, caressing towards his wife. He gives up his wayward life to
prove himself worthy of such a decent and disciplined wife. Nalini and
Ravi’s romantic idyllic love is short lived. When problems surround
and pester like bees, his subdued male ego peeps out. As, elsewhere,
poverty creeps into their cozy world. Ravi, from the beginning, has
been a pleasure seeker. When Apu dies, the burden of shouldering the
responsibility of the entire joint family falls on his shoulders. He finds
it difficult to wade through. He stoops again. Nalini becomes the target
of Ravi’s frustration and incapability. One sees the common stoic
unflinching spirit in Nalini when he degrades to slap her and taunt
with bitter words. Nalini’s composed nature is revealed in the words of
the author herself:
Nalini never complained. He had seen her fighting for
breath, or covertly rubbing oil the livid marks on her
abdomen or arching her back against the cold granite
grinding stone but he had never heard her complain
neither of ills of her pregnancy, nor of him (194).
At one point of time he kicks her out of the house. But Nalini
sticks to him with the same unchanged feelings towards him. For
sometime when Ravi pushes her out of the house she goes to stay
with her elder sister, Thangam. But when Ravi realizes his mistake
and calls Nalini back to their house, she goes to live with Ravi once
80
again. Though they are not economically happy, they try to maintain
stability of their married life for the sake of children.
Nalini takes everything passively as an antidote. She remains to
be a hallmark of stoic nature. She struggles to maintain with the
meager amount that he gives for her. Nalini learns the art of keeping
in touch with the mood and character of her husband. She always
assists him. She never goes for anything that one can dare call luxury.
She cannot think of becoming an added problem to the purse of Ravi.
She knows her husband’s physical strain, mental tension, and
mercenary misery.
This beautiful girl of his knew how to accept gracefully
while never initiating impossible demands of her own (45).
The Indian wife, if asked to take a choice between husband and
riches, she would undoubtedly prefer husband. She does not care the
physical comforts, but a feeling that she is the heart of her husband
gives immeasurable comfort and solace to her.
The very sight of Nalini makes Ravi understand that to marry
her; he has to leave all negative acts and easy going life. As he lives
with her, the everyday life style of Nalini makes him realize the
shallowness of his criminal way of living. She serves as an eye-opener
to him. He leaves Damodar, the underworld don, and the easy way of
living and comes to live with Nalini, in Apu’s family. It is full of sheer
poverty but is a humane world. Nalini is the sheet of anchor of his life.
81
Even in the weak moments when he is being drawn towards Damodar,
Nalini could rescue him and guard him from falling into the clutches
of Damodar.
Depicting the strong character of Nalini, Prof. Iyengar remarks:
Constant as a rock to which he could cling and keep his
head level when his views and values began their moral
dance.17
It is Nalini, who made Ravi discriminate these two tendencies. It is
once again the victory of the traditional values displayed by a
traditional wife. The selection for Ravi between Damodar and Nalini is
excellently put in the words of Iyengar as follows:
Damodar symbolizes a kind of freedom - a freedom that is
completely
self-centered
and
divorced
for
ethical
sensibility. He seeks pleasure by all means and any
means.
Since
money
holds
the
keys
to
the
chambers of possessive pleasure, Damodar should get
rich quick by whatever means available….In contrast
Nalini symbolizes the subtle fragrance of life - a clean,
healthy and traditional life.18
Ravi is the falcon flying high in the sky. But everything is safe
with him for his falconer Nalini, is down on the earth, down to earth.
She is an Indian wife who would do wonderfully well because her roots
82
are in tradition, religion and culture. Appreciating her remarkable
traits, Ravi remarks, “Take a girl like that and half a man’s troubles
would be over” (25).
In the same novel two more couples are visible whose marital
relationship can be defined under this category. It is Nalini’s father
and mother, Apu and Jayamma and, another pair is Nalini’s sister
and brother-in-law, Thangam and Puttanna. As they are minor
characters in the novel, very little information is provided by the
novelist about their marital relationship. When the novel opens, Apu
is seen as an old man shouldering the entire burden of the household.
He is a tailor always busy with his stitching work. Burdened with
responsibilities, Apu pays scant attention towards his wife, Jayamma,
who is in her middle-age. She is in need of sexual attention of her
husband which Apu fails to understand. She feels disappointed and
dejected with his behaviour which in turn makes their relationship
unsatisfactory. She is jealous of Ravi’s (her son-in-law) love for her
daughter, Nalini.
Thangam and Puttanna also have disturbance in their marital
bond. As Puttanna is unemployed and has no source of income, they
depend on Apu for their livelihood. This fact always pinches Thangam
and she feels that she and her husband are unwanted burden in her
parental household. She too is jealous of her sister, Nalini and her
brother-in-law, Ravi. Ravi helps Apu in his work and contributes for
earning income to the family. Hence, Thangam feels that Nalini has
83
dignity of honour in her parental home because Ravi earns some
money whereas; she and her husband are like parasites of no use who
feed on their income. Another worst thing that fuels her jealousy
towards Nalini is that her sister is blessed with son and she with twin
daughters. Thangam feels that Puttanna is responsible for her ill-fate.
So, she hates him. Though they stay together they do not cherish
satisfactory relationship.
When the two marriages are analyzed, two factors appear to be
obstacles in their marital bond. One is the age factor and another is
economic factor. Due to age gap between Apu and Jayamma, they
hardly communicated their inner feelings to each other properly.
Similarly, Thangam and Puttanna cannot be happy because Puttanna
is a vagabond and does not take the responsibility of feeding his wife
and children. Marriage is a biological need for him rather than a
responsibility.
Another marriage in Anita Desai’s novel, Where Shall We Go This
Summer? provides a passionate commentary upon the maladjustment
of relationship between Raman and Sita. They too have a “Stable but
Unsatisfactory Marriage”. Sita, a mother of four, is pregnant again and
feels neglected by her husband. From the very beginning, Sita’s
marriage to Raman is unsteadily moving to the point of collapse. It
actually collapses when Sita goes away to Manori island, hoping that
she would be saved through miracle from giving birth to a fifth child in
this violent and greatly destructive world around her.
84
Anita Desai has explicitly presented a sense of alienation in this
novel. Sita’s condition is representative of a sense of loneliness of a
woman, a wife, a mother; that is conditioned by family and society.
Sita’s mental disturbances are the direct result of a clash between the
hypocritical world and her inherent honesty that resists any
compromise. Marital disharmony clearly strikes the reader in Where
Shall We Go This Summer? Sita is changed from an ordinary wife and
mother into a creature who “lost all feminine, all maternal belief in
childbirth, all faith in it and began to fear it as yet one more act of
violence and murder in a world that had more of them in it than she
could take” (Desai, Where Shall 56).
19
Sita’s marriage to Raman, just like Maya and Gautama’s in Cry,
The Peacock, is not settled through proper understanding and love
between them. Her marriage is settled “out of pity, out of lust, out of a
sudden will for adventure and because it was inevitable, he married
her” (99). Sita is highly sensitive and emotional. Her children’s
activities are a source of anxiety for her. Her sons used to play
roughly. They used to throw their bodies at each other playfully.
Carelessness of her daughter, Maneka, in breaking all the buds
unwittingly, disturbs her mental peace. It is a representative act of
violence and destruction, for Sita. She is so sensitive and emotional
that the sights of such unthinking and meaningless destruction are
unbearable to her. Due to her extreme sensitive nature, she finds it
85
extremely difficult to adjust with Raman and his relatives, who are
totally mundane.
Raman is a businessman who has purely business attitude to
life. His friends are totally business-minded. They used to visit
Raman’s house and talk about only business. Sita did not like their
business-mindedness. It never occurred to Raman that he should try
to understand Sita. They lived together; but he did not even notice the
fact that she is bored, dull, unhappy and frantic. Sita expresses her
disgust for chauvinistic lives of patriarchal men: “They are nothing nothing but appetite and sex. Only food, sex and money matter.
Animals” (47).
During the first few years of their married life, they lived with
his parents and other relatives in their age-rotten flat in Queens Road.
Sita could never get used to anyone. She revolted against their
subhuman placidity, indifference and sluggishness.
The layers of unsavoury feelings, melancholy and boredom
make Sita wait for something:
She was always waiting. Physically so resigned, she could
not inwardly accept that this was all there was to life, that
life would continue thus, inside this small, enclosed area,
with these few characters churning around and then past
her, leaving her always in this grey, dull-lit, empty shell. I
86
am waiting, she agreed- although for what, she could not
tell (54).
Later on, “when there was the fifth baby to wait for, she rebelled. She
would not wait for it to come, for anything to happen - for happenings
were always violent” (55). Sita is in need of the solidity of life. She
never thought of the type of life she is required to live after her
marriage. She has realized that marriage and all human relationships
are a farce. Sita sees a couple in the Hanging Garden and feels that
she has missed something in her life: “they made me see my own life
like
a
shadow,
absolutely
flat,
uncoloured”
(147).
Sita
made
compromises for years together: “It all became harder than ever
before, for me. Very hard - this making of compromises” (148). Sita’s
revolt is representative of an intelligent and sensitive woman’s revolt
against the male smugness and his behaviour, crushing all finer
feelings of the marital life.
Anita Desai depicts another marriage of this category in her novel,
Fire on the Mountain. She brings out the problems of marital
disharmony as a basic ingredient for disintegrating family life. Mr. and
Mrs. Nanda Kaul have “Stable and Unsatisfactory Marriage” like Sita
and Raman. When the novel begins, Nanda Kaul, an old woman of
eighty, was already leading secluded, loveless, and detached life. She
has accepted this after undergoing consistent mental torture and
bitter experiences of a married life. Now she lives in Kasauli, away
from the material world.
87
She had wanted... to be left to the pines and Cicadas
alone … She wanted no one and nothing else. What ever
happened here would be an unwelcome intrusion and
distraction (Desai, Fire On 19).
20
She has a strong reason for her determination. The life long
faithlessness of Mr.Kaul to Nanda Kaul and the hypocritical situation
forces her to invite this seclusion. Their marriage is purely based on
physical lust and circumstantial convenience for Mr. Kaul. Nanda
Kaul becomes a mother of many unwanted, unloved children. She
always arranges the dinner table as a hard-working hostess. She acts
according to Mr.Kaul’s will and wish.
Mr.Kaul had always wanted her to be in silk, at the head
of the long rosewood table in the dining room entertaining
his guests (34).
Outwardly everything seems to be smooth; but inwardly Nanda
Kaul burns with frustration. On the contrary, Mr.Kaul is cool and
happily keeps his beloved Miss. David on the teaching staff. He invites
her for badminton parties, drops her at her home at night and comes
back secretly to his separate bedroom. Nanda Kaul maintains a frozen
smile on her face. She looks after the family, his children, his house,
shutting the doors, supervising cooks and servants; putting the
visitors at ease and waiting, always with a soul-smashing hatred for
88
her husband. She feels that the house does not belong to her. This is
evident from the following:
Mentally she walked through the rooms of that house – his
house, never hers (18).
To stop all these disturbances in her life permanently, she desires
“a blessed widowhood”, the absolute solitude without a man and his
children around. The death of her husband is the death of her jailor.
After the death of her husband she has been glad when it
was over. She had been glad to leave it all behind in the
plains, like a great, heavy, difficult book that she had read
through and was not required to read again (30).
It brings her the long-laboured freedom from the condemned cell of
spiritual annihilation. She buys a house at Carignano in Kasauli,
which is calm and serene. This enigmatic place aptly suits her
apparently mysterious love for solitude. Even the two married couples,
who resided at Carignano in Kasauli earlier, present pictures of totally
confused and maladjusted married life. Nanda seems to be carrying
this hereditary lineage.
Nanda’s husband carried life long love affair with Miss David – a
mathematics teacher. When the novel opens, she is found thoroughly
disillusioned with all her emotional bonds whether matrimonial or
filial. She had decided to live in the solitude of Carignano. In spite of
89
having a large number of children and grand children, she suffers
from a terrible sense of loneliness.
So deep is the scar left on Nanda Kaul by her husband’s neglect of
her and his affair with Miss. David that even on her death-bed she
remembers how her husband has only done enough to keep her quiet
while he carrying on a life-long affair with Miss. David, whom he has
loved all his life. Her children are all alien to her; and naturally, she
neither understood nor loved them. It is her cramping sense of
loneliness even in the midst of a large family that compels her to retire
to Carignano.
One more couple who have “Stable-Unsatisfactory” relationship is
Maya and Gautama in Anita Desai’s Cry, The Peacock. Their
matrimonial bond is devoid of health and vitality. Maya-Gautama
relationship culminates in disaster mainly because of their inadequate
understanding of each other. Anita Desai sets the pattern for other
novels to be followed with the central theme of marital discord and its
impact, particularly on women. Gautama and Maya are the main
characters who reveal this problem with emphasis and poignancy all
around them. Maya’s marriage with Gautama happens because of the
friendship between Maya’s father and Gautama. They have similar
ways of thinking. Gautama used to visit Maya’s father frequently.
Maya narrates how this relationship has forced the marital bond
between Gautama and herself:
90
Coming slowly up on his bicycle, in the evenings, it was
my father Gautama used to come to call upon and had it
not been for the quickening passion with which I met, half
way, my father’s proposal that I marry this tall, stooped
and knowledgeable friend of his, one might have said that
our marriage was grounded upon the friendship of the two
men, and the mutual respect in which they held each
other, rather than anything else. (Desai, Cry 78) 21
It was a match between two different temperaments with not
even a single link in the strain of their physical and mental outlooks
to bring them to a close tie. Commenting on the contrasting natures
of the two partners, Meena Belliappa remarks:
The
incompatibility
of
character
stands
revealed-
Gautama who touches without feeling and Maya who feels
even without touching.
22
As the two have different temperaments, they drift apart
through the very process of their living together. Had they followed the
usual procedure of an ordinary marriage that turns the partners into
weary strangers in course of time, there would have been nothing
amiss. But a Desai heroine cannot succumb to such circumstances.
She tries to preserve the deep, torturous love for Gautama with
childish pleadings. Maya tries to convey her love for Gautama in the
following way:
91
Is there nothing, I whispered, is there anything in you
that
should be touched ever so slightly, if I told you. I
live my life for you? (21)
This involvement in her and the complete lack of it in Gautama
is the basis of the maladjustment that creates the fear-complex in
Maya. Gautama, being pragmatic in nature, and lawyer by profession,
is impervious to the psychological trauma that steadily grows in the
heart of his wife. He is temperamentally incapable of comprehending
the complexities of experience that Maya passes through. The
relationship between them is therefore an incessant conflict between
acute sensitivity and extreme pragmatism. Maya’s contacts and
connections with the outside world are rather tenuous. Her alienation
from Gautama dooms her to be on a lonely island of misery and
helplessness. From an ordinary pampered child, Maya is transformed
within four years of married life into a neurotic, homicidal maniac,
through the grinding process of mindless compromise with her
marriage which is doomed to fail, right from the beginning.
The tragedy happens without any ill-intention on the part of
either Gautama or Maya. Gautama is a dutiful, clear-headed provider.
He loves Maya, in his own way, even though he is irritated with her
childish behaviour. When she is upset at the death of her pet dog
Toto, Gautama tries to console her in the following manner:
92
Maya, he said patiently, ‘Do sit down. You look so hot and
worn out. You need a cup of tea’. ‘Come, come,’ he said,
and took out the handkerchief again, more stained than
ever. ‘Do get up,’ he said. ‘The servants are coming to take
the beds out for the night, and, really, it is much
pleasanter outside. Wipe your face, and we’ll go out (9).
Maya feels that her marital bond is unstable and unsatisfactory
because she and Gautama belong to “separate worlds” (43). She
becomes frigid and suffers from horrific isolation, as she has no
one to turn to for help because she is motherless and childless.
She even fails to win love and confidence of her mother-in-law and
sister-in-law. No reliable connection exists between the practical
husband, Gautama and the dreamer wife, Maya. Maya’s neurotic
frame of mind gets aggravated by the weak familial and social
bonds. The gruesome catastrophe, with which the novel closes,
therefore, appears to be its natural conclusion.
The third category of marriage that Leaderer and Jackson
mention in their book is the “Unstable-Satisfactory Marriage.” They
remark as follows:
Most marriages which last more than five or ten years are
placed in this category. In many marriages of this sort,
though the spouses believe they have a comfortable
relationship, their disappointment with each other on
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some occasions is obvious. In times of stress, hostility and
buried resentment emerge. There are periodic outbursts of
subtle or open aggression. The spouses attack each other
emotionally and inflict fresh wounds. However, there is an
underlying network of agreement about what each is
willing to do, reciprocally, for the other.
23
Only one marriage can be termed as Unstable-Satisfactory Marriage. It
is marital bond between Ira and her husband in Nectar in a Sieve. Ira,
the daughter of Rukmani, is married to a beautiful young man of
neighbouring
village.
She
is
very
docile
and
obedient
girl.
Unfortunately she is not destined to enjoy the marital bliss because
she is barren. Though her husband is happy with her in all other
aspects, he deserts her for her inability to conceive. When Rukmani
requests her son-in-law to wait for sometime, he says: “I have waited
for five years. She has not borne in her first blooming, who can say
she will conceive later?
I need sons.”24 For want of children,
particularly sons, Ira’s husband abandons her. Their marital bond can
be termed as Unstable-Satisfactory Marriage because Ira and her
husband were leading satisfactory life till the issue of children is
raised. Rukmani gets Ira treated for her barrenness by Kenny and
takes her to Ira’s husband. But by that time he has married another
woman. He replies with a hint of sorrow in his eyes: “I would have
taken her, for she was a good wife to me, and a comely one, but I have
waited long and now I have taken another woman.” 25
94
Just like Ira, her mother, Rukmani too did not conceive for
many years in her early days of marriage. But her husband Nathan,
though an uneducated village man, understands her condition and
does not blame her of it. He too desires for sons like typical Indian
male. He prays to God and waits for the good time with patience. The
couple, Nathan and Rukmani is in direct contrast to that of Ira and
her husband. Unlike Nathan, Ira’s husband has left Ira for not being
able to conceive for some years. Hence, unlike Ira and her husband,
the marital bond between Rukmani and Nathan rest serenely on the
solid foundation of trust, faith and understanding.
Analyzing
the
fourth
category,
“Unstable-Unsatisfactory
Marriage” Leaderer and Jackson say the following:
Considerable proportion of married population falls under
the category of the “Unstable-Unsatisfactory Marriage.”
They have continuously agitating mind. These couples
express their disappointment through nonverbal methods
like illness, alcoholism and frigidity. One common cause
for this kind of escalating marital antagonism is the
increasing
professional
busy
schedule
sphere
of
in
both
financial,
the
social,
spouses.
or
The
communication gap is more and exchange of information
is limited. Often children become the scapegoats of
suffering.26
95
Maya in Cry, The Peacock and Sita in Where Shall We Go This
Summer? are victims of Unstable-Unsatisfactory marriage of their
parents. Sita refers to her mother who has run away to Benaras and is
counted dead by her father and relatives. Her mother ran away
because of being neglected by her husband. Sita is stunned to learn
this fact from her brother, Jeevan. She remarks:
Ran away! And left us? Sita stood clutching her hair
about her ears and feet sinking rapidly into the sand. 27
Like Sita, Maya is also motherless. Except a photograph in her
father’s room, Maya knows nothing about her mother. Maya’s father
never gives any details of her mother. This shows that Maya’s mother
has some turmoil with Maya’s father. Maladjustment in marital life
has forced these women to say a “Great No” in their lives.
The maladjusted marital bond between Murgan (the third son of
Rukmani) and his wife can be termed as “Unstable-Unsatisfactory
marriage”. Murgan, who works as a servant in Saheb’s house, marries
a girl from the town. He does not intimate the matter to his parents.
When his parents come to city in search of him, they come to know
that he is married and has a son. Murgan ditches his wife and leaves
the place without intimating anyone. When Nathan asks about his
whereabouts, his daughter-in-law replies: “he has let us down for
women and gambling.”28 He has made his wife’s life the most
96
miserable one. She is in dire poverty, unable to feed herself and her
son. Even though she is poor and miserable, she feeds Murgan’s
parents with whatever food she has. Such is the greatness of an
Indian woman who cannot break the marital bond easily.
Thus analyzing the marriages depicted in the novels of the
writers, in the light of the four categories of marriage stated by
Leaderer, makes the study an interesting one. It is clear from the
analysis of the marriages in the novels that, while depicting the wives’
characters, the writers must have had Indian ideals and values in
their mind. Though they are problems in the marital life of their
women characters, the writers have never allowed their women
characters to step out from Indian tradition to take decisions of life.
For instance, Nila’s mother (Cry, The Peacock) does not appreciate her
daughter’s idea to take divorce. Though she is a social worker, who
works for the emancipation of the society, she does not recommend
divorce for her daughter. Nila’s mother knows the repercussions of
divorce and its impact on children’s mind. It appears as if Nila’s
mother has assimilated Hindu ideals in her thinking. There is no
concept of divorce in Hindu tradition, it is a modern practice
introduced into Hindu society through Hindu Marriage Act of India in
the year 1955. Hindu tradition believes that marital relationship
between husband and wife extends beyond one life and once married
the couple are believed to be married for a life time. Hence, Nila’s
97
mother, and her brother, Gautama are against her will to take divorce
from her husband.
In another instance, Maya’s friends, Pom and Leila, (Cry, The
Peacock) who hail from middle-class families, adjust with their
respective husbands even though they are not happy with them
because the Indian culture has taught them to do so. Whatever
difficulties the couple may have between them or in the society the
religion expects to take them to their stride, as part of their karma,
and continue their journey together.
The other important aspect that has been noticed among the
marriages is that women hailing from the middle-class or the upper
middle-class families (in total, middle-class families) are able to face
the challenges and threats of their marital life and sustain their
relationship with their spouses for ever. For instance, Rukmani in
Nectar in a Seive is from an upper middle class family. She is a
daughter of a village head. Though she is married to a poor tenant
farmer for some obvious reasons, she maintains her “middle-class
temperament” throughout her life. In spite of all difficulties, she lives
the life with positive attitude. Similar is the case with Sarojini in A
Silence of Desire. She is a middle-class middle-aged woman. She
displays lot of patience when her conjugal bliss is at threat. She
forgives her husband, Dandekar who disturb their marital relationship
with his unnecessary anxiety.
98
The women hailing from lower strata and upper strata of the
society find it difficult to adjust as easily as middle-class women did.
For instance, women hailing from the upper strata like: Maya and her
mother (Cry, The Peacock), Nanda (Fire on the Mountain) and Sita’s
mother (Where Shall We Go This Summer?) find it difficult to make
mutual adjustments with their spouses. Hyper-sensitive Maya, unable
to adjust with her practical husband, Gautama, kills him and
commits suicide. Sita’s mother runs away to Beneras leaving her
husband and children. Nanda Kaul tries to isolate herself from the
people because of the unhappy marital relationship with her husband.
Maya’s father never gives details of Maya’s mother to her.
Kunthi in Nectar in a Sieve, who belongs to lower strata of the
society, finds it difficult to adjust with her husband. She never has a
better relationship with her impotent husband. Intially, she has illegal
contact with Nathan who has fathered her two sons. Later when her
husband leaves her for other women, she turns to be a prostitute.
On examination of married women hailing from upper and lower
strata of the society, it is clear that they are bit away from the modes
of adjustment. Mutual love and trust which is the basic foundation of
marriage seemed to be missing in their marriages. However, one
cannot clearly demarcate that all successful marriages happen among
middle-class families and all women hailing from middle-class make
adjustments in their marital life. There are successful marriages even
in the lower and upper strata of the society also. Probably the success
99
rate of marriages may be less than that of marriages that take place
among middle-class families. For instance, Nalini in A Handful of Rice
hail from lower strata of the society and Sita in Where Shall We Go
This Summer? is from upper strata of the society. Though they have
problems in their marital life, they adjust and continue to live with
their spouses. Finally one can conclude that irrespective of family
background, the relationship between husband and wife will be
fruitful, only when there is mutual compromise and adjustment. Any
relation has its own limits; mother, father, brother and friend have
limited roles to play, whereas a wife or a husband can be a complete
companion, enacting all of these roles. Wife and husband form a
unique
relationship.
They
are
individuals;
yet
interdependent.
Marriage is the union of two hearts, which should have a pound of
understanding and a penny of love. Love is, by nature, miraculous. It
forgives; also erases even the shades of the weaknesses.
When the marriages depicted in Anita Desai’s novels are
analyzed they appear to be a synonym for punishment and bondage.
Marriage which is considered to be honourable turned out to be a
failure in her novels. In sum, the man-woman equations in Anita
Desai’s
novels
are
either
imbalanced
or
non-balanced.
The
homeostasis mechanism of her protagonists is often out of order.
Since they are determined to maintain their identity and individuality,
they fail to achieve fulfillment in human relationships, whereas by and
large, Kamala Markandaya’s novels depict balanced and harmonious
100
man-woman relationships. Her protagonists are average men and
women who want to remain united to face challenges like poverty,
social change or political fanaticism. The external factors of their
existence are so threatening that intimate familial ties assume crucial
importance in their lives.
There is a marked difference between Kamala Markandaya and
Anita Desai in their depiction of marital relationship. In Kamala
Markandaya the characters - particularly women – grow beyond their
own selves and achieve maturity and wisdom which helps to protect
the marital bond. But in Anita Desai the married partners remain
isolated and encysted individuals; women particularly become so
absorbed in their own psychological depths, they ultimately fail to
dissolve their selves for the sake of marital chord. They stretch too
long to let themselves remain unhappy in their marriages.
Kamala
Markandaya
gives
prime
importance
to
human
relationships and is more particularly concerned about the marital
relationship. Uma Parameswaran observes:
Personal relationships are Kamala Markandaya’s forte.
Step by step she builds up relationship, analyses them
and dramatically makes them respect something larger
than themselves.29
Kamala
Markandaya,
while
focusing
on
superior
nature
and
traditional and sentimental life of Indian woman, speaks of the need
101
for such qualities, especially in the modern age. She is not against the
West, but cautions to absorb what is meaningful; she advocates
people
to
take
only the
scientific knowledge
needed
for the
materialistic growth of the nation, and not to imitate them in the field
of values. Keeping in view of the force, the intention, the desire of the
writer’s heart, it is wise to quote the remarks of Elena J. Kamnikova.
She deserves every word of praise in the Paraphrase.
Kamala Markandaya is undoubtedly an outstanding
creative artist. It is not accidental that her works have
been translated into many languages and each new world
of the writer calls for a wide response in the literary
circles. The books which portray the true Indian world
perception and which have been written in realistic style
have brought this recognition to her.30
The marriages in Anita Desai’s novels are more or less business
transactions or in other words “marriages of convenience”. A
marriageable daughter is handed over to the male-partner without
considering the tenderness of her mind and sensitivity. She has to
fulfill either the parents’ responsibilities or the relatives’ demands with
different intentions. For instance, Maya’s marriage with Gautama has
been settled through her father’s friendship with him. But this
peaceful order is disturbed due to internal disturbances of Maya. She
becomes a murderer, and later, commits suicide.
102
Anita Desai humbly admits that she is allergic to writing social
novels; however, she is involved with the psychological aspect of
problems of marital discord and the hypocrisy, the faithlessness and
the soul destroying process of compromise which accompany life. In
each of her novels, one encounters traumatic experiences of married
lives. Each novel, maintaining the basic features of marital discord,
presents different features of the problem to which Mrs. Desai gives a
new dimension and vision. A study of her novels is always a soulsearching process. She fearlessly puts forward the point that the basic
concept of marriage is a social contract, based on human convenience
and biological needs. Almost all her heroines and heroes disassociate
the factor of love from the concept of marriage.
The element of human situation and its destructive influence on
psyche of her characters, especially on female characters, is
significant. The characters struggle with their hard destinies in the
shape of maladjustment in married life. The characters understand
that there is no escape from harsh realities of life. Her novels make
one understand that human beings have no choice of escape from the
happenings of life. Her characters are aware that marital disharmony
springs from social alienation. Still, they seek freedom through their
actions; but freedom is always conditioned by the response of others.
They fail to understand this fact. Desai’s characters make efforts on
the paths of existence and seek to adopt the three ways of dealing with
the life: first, committing suicide or homicide; secondly, hoping for the
103
better; and thirdly, living with it. Taking all the aspects of existential
approach into consideration, Anita Desai can be claimed as the most
remarkable modern advocate of the philosophy of existentialism
among the Indian English novelists.
Depiction of marital relationships has been the central subject
of both Anita Desai and Kamala Markandaya. Both these women
writers, being Indians, know the importance of gender-relationship
and are also aware of the fact that, in India, marriage does not happen
just between two individuals, but is an association of two big families.
Indian man marries her and takes her into his family. Kamala
Markandaya’s women characters assimilate this fact in their life. But
it is different with Desai’s women.
In Desai’s novels, the protagonists’ desire to love and to be
loved is strong in them. But their actions are often individualistic,
unilateral, and alienating. They become angry, disillusioned and
fearful and withdraw from each other in order to disentangle
themselves from stifling ties. However, due to their temperamental
peculiarities, their actions generate negative emotions. Thus, the
mutual interaction between the spouses neither makes them feel close
and united nor infuses them with a sense of security or confidence.
This insecurity or alienation hinders interpersonal fusion, the ultimate
end of a balanced, loving relationship. Despair envelops them from all
around and joy and hope seem to be nowhere nor obtainable.
104
On the contrary, in Kamala Markandaya’s novels emotional
bonds
become
protagonists’
source
of
strength,
security
and
happiness in their struggle for survival on the physical level. Their
happiness constitutes in being related or wanted. They adjust
themselves according to the situations. When their interpersonal
relationship is disturbed, they do not simply sit and brood or turn
inward and become indifferent like Anita Desai’s protagonists. They
try their best to restore the balance. In their bid to rise above their
circumstances and remain united in the face of insurmountable odds,
they assume heroic dimensions.
In fact, the subject on marriage and marital relationship
appears to be inexhaustible. The changing times and changing social
situations have served to bring out its amazing diversity and infinite
variety. In the 21st century literature, the depiction of marital
relationship has been affected by numerous visible and invisible
factors which are the results of technological advancement and
industrial progress. In fact, due to the influence of the West, the
present youth, particularly in metro cities, are going for “live-in
relationship” rather than getting married. “Live-in relationship” is
Indianized
version
of
the
Western
concept
of
“dating”.
Such
relationships may be suitable for the Western societies but, in country
like India which is known for its tradition and culture, society does
not acknowledge such relationships. Such relationships may not have
positive outcome and they may end in despair. For instance, the love
105
relationship between Mr. Kaul and Miss David in Anita’s Fire On the
Mountain and relationship between Kunthi and Nathan in Kamala’s
Nectar in a Sieve are termed by both writers as “illicit relationships”
because being Indians, the novelists are aware of the fact that Indian
society does not approve such relationships. Hence the writers do not
focus much on such relationships in their novels.
In
the
increasing
complexity
of
this
age,
all
human
relationships have become complex. Numerous subterranean forces
are at work to make them more and more complex and subtle. Hence,
it is the responsibility of both the partners to make their marriage
work, without great personal loss of mental or physical health of
either spouse. This is possible if there is clarity in relationship and
honesty in communication between the spouses. Just as the present
trend of the society is towards achieving equality among people
regardless of sex, race, or creed, the modern day marriages require
equality. To approach equality, each spouse should perform the roles
for which he or she is best suited regardless of custom or tradition.
In view of the above, one cannot term a marriage to be bondage
for woman because now-a-days married women are given ample
opportunities to release their potentialities. There are evidences where
women are encouraged by their family members to reach great heights
in their respective fields. For instance, Aishwarya Rai Bachan,
Prathiba Patil, Sunita Williams, Kiran Desai, etc. are examples of
106
some successful married women who continue their career even after
their marriage. Markandaya and Desai seemed to be aware of the fact.
Hence, Anita created the character of Gautama’s mother, a social
worker and Kamala created the character of Rukmani, an ideal Indian
wife in their respective novels to show the multi-tasking capacities of
married Indian women who can balance both their individual interests
as well as household responsibilities at a time.
Similarly one cannot achieve perfect salvation in marriage
because no man/woman is perfect and to err is human. Human
beings are emotional and their life is surrounded by tensions and
temptations. Though they believe in values of life, they do not remain
the same in all situations. For instance, Sita in Where Shall We Go
This Summer? leaves her husband in Bombay and goes to an Island to
live alone. But later she compromises with her husband and returns
to Bombay to live with him. Similarly, Nalini in A Handful of Rice
compromises with her husband, Ravi in spite of his rude behaviour.
Thus, marriage leads woman to neither perfect salvation nor complete
bondage. It is a continuous marital journey which should go on with
mutual adjustment and compromise between husband and wife. So
to make the marriage work out well, man and woman should follow
Rabindranath
Tagore’s
precept
that
man
and
woman
are
complimentary to each other and are never competitors. Then alone
couples will enjoy marital bliss.
107
After discussing the importance of marriage in woman’s life, the
next chapter will be an attempt to co-relate the needs of Indian wife
with that of the survival strategies she adopts after migrating to a new
place. As most of the changes occur in the lives of women after
marriage, survival strategies of married Indian women in the light of
selected novels of Anita Desai and Kamala Markandaya will be studied
in the next chapter.
108
REFERENCES:
1. Tikoo, Prithi Nath. Indian Woman: A Brief Socio-Cultural
Survey. New Delhi: Prestige Books, 1985, p.39. Print.
2. “Importance of Marriage in Christianity” 10. Oct. 2010.Web.
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/christian marriage.com>_
3. Maudadi, Sayyid. “Women in Islam.” Islam in Focus. Meerut:
Ashok Publishers, 2007, p.8. Print.
4. Sukumaran, Jayasree. The Feminist Challenge: Alice Munro and
Anita Desai.Chennai: Emerald Publishers, 2009, p.23.
Print.
5. “Women in Hinduism” 10. Oct. 2010.Web.
<http://sanatana-dharma.tripod.com/women_in_
hinduism.html >
6. Ibid., 2.
7. Kakar, Sudhir. The Inner World: A Psycho-analytical Study of
Childhood and Society in India. New Delhi: Oxford University
Press, 2008, p.83. Print.
8. Ghadially, Rehana. ed. “Women and the Hindu Tradition.”
Women in Indian Society. New Delhi: Prakash Publishers,
1976, p.48. Print.
9. Ranade, Eknath. ed. Indian Womanhood through the Ages.
Madras: Vivekananda Kendra Patrika, 1975, p.255. Print.
10. Leaderer, William J. and Dr. Don D. Jackson. The Mirages
of Marriage. Introd. Dr. Karl Menninger. New York:
Norton, 1968, p.114. Print.
11. Markandaya, Kamala. Nectar in a Sieve .Bombay: Jaico
Publishing House, 2003. Print.
109
The references from this novel are quoted from this edition and
are
indicated
in
brackets
with
page
numbers.
All
the
subsequent textual references are from the same edition and
follow the same pattern.
12. Naik, M.K. A History of Indian English Literature. New Delhi:
Sahitya Academy, 1982, p.30. Print.
13. Ibid., 48.
14. Leaderer, William J. and Dr. Don D. Jackson. The Mirages
of Marriage. Introd. Dr. Karl Menninger. New York:
Norton, 1968, p.123. Print.
15. Markandaya, Kamala. A Silence of Desire. London:
Putnam, 1968.Print.
The references from this novel are quoted from this edition and
are
indicated
in
brackets
with
page
numbers.
All
the
subsequent textual references are from the same edition and
follow the same pattern.
16. Markandaya, Kamala. A Handful of Rice. New Delhi: Orient
Paperbacks, 1985. Print.
The references from this novel are quoted from this edition and
are
indicated
in
brackets
with
page
numbers.
All
the
subsequent textual references are from the same edition and
follow the same pattern.
17. Iyengar, K. R. S. Indian Writing in English. Rev. ed. New Delhi:
Sterling Publishers, 2005. p.426. Print.
18. Ibid., 428.
19. Desai, Anita. Where Shall We Go This Summer? New Delhi:
Orient Paperbacks, 2001. Print.
110
The references from this novel are quoted from this edition and
are
indicated
in
brackets
with
page
numbers.
All
the
subsequent textual references are from the same edition and
follow the same pattern.
20. Desai, Anita. Fire on the Mountain. Bombay: Allied Publishers,
2004. Print.
The references from this novel are quoted from this edition and
are
indicated
in
brackets
with
page
numbers.
All
the
subsequent textual references are from the same edition and
follow the same pattern.
21. Desai, Anita. Cry, The Peacock. New Delhi: Orient
Paperbacks, 2005, Print.
The references from this novel are quoted from this edition and
are
indicated
in
brackets
with
page
numbers.
All
the
subsequent textual references are from the same edition and
follow the same pattern.
22. Belliappa, Meena. Image of Woman in Indo-Anglian Novels.
New Delhi: Sterling Publishers, 1972, p.23. Print.
23. Leaderer, William J. and Dr. Don D. Jackson. The Mirages
of Marriage. Introd. Dr. Karl Menninger. New York:
Norton, 1968, p.147. Print.
24. Markandaya, Kamala. Nectar in a Sieve. Bombay: Jaico
Publishing House, 2003, p.50. Print.
25. Ibid., 61.
26. Leaderer, William J. and Dr. Don D. Jackson. The Mirages
of Marriage. Introd. Dr. Karl Menninger. New York:
Norton, 1968, p.158. Print.
27. Desai, Anita. Where Shall We Go This Summer? New Delhi:
111
Orient Paperbacks, 2001, p.83. Print.
28. Markandaya, Kamala. Nectar in a Sieve. Bombay: Jaico
Publishing House, 2003, p.163. Print.
29. Parameshwaran, Uma. Kamala Markandaya: Writers of
Indian Diaspora. Jaipur and New Delhi: Rawat Publishers,
2000, p.4. Print.
30. Kamnikova, Elena J. Indian Literature Far from the Motherland –
A Perspective. London: Hamilton, 1967, p.163. Print.