First Draft
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Creating a Protagonist: Arabella Carpenter by Judy Penz Sheluk
A
ll characters begin their lives somewhere, and Arabella Carpenter is no
different. Born in a Creative Writing Workshop, Arabella came to life with a simple
short story assignment: write a mystery
using the words “Blue” and “Dolphin.”
The short story itself wasn’t particularly
brilliant (or even particularly good), but it
did set the stage for what would eventually become The Hanged Man’s Noose, the
first novel in the Glass Dolphin Mystery
Series. Consider the opening:
Arabella Carpenter’s day started off just
like any other, with a three-mile walk from
her one-bedroom apartment in midtown,
to The Glass Dolphin Antiques on Main.
The unit, as she referred to it, was on the
tenth floor of a sterile glass and steel tower. The apartment had been somewhat
optimistically billed as “overlooking”
Lount’s Landing, although to do so required leaning over a small balcony and
precariously craning one’s neck to the left.
Not that there was much to see. Lount’s Landing was a once
small village that had, over the course of several decades, accepted growth with some reluctance, and urbanization in bits and
bytes. The end result was a rather schizophrenic mix of high rise
condos and sprawling McMansions, amid an assortment of postwar bungalows, freehold townhomes and dreary neighborhood
parkettes.
The Glass Dolphin, on the other hand, was housed within a meandering warehouse conversion in what the locals liked to call
the old part of town. In keeping with the building’s “industrial authenticity,” the architects had preserved some of its quirkier details, including exposed glass block and brick, wide pine plank
floorboards, and tall open ceilings with the original ductwork on
view. A cynic might suggest that conserving such details also
saved the developer money, but no matter, such ambience was
the perfect backdrop for a modern day antiques shop. At least
that’s what Arabella had told herself last month when she signed
a three-year lease.
She decided to name the shop after her first antique find, a sapphire blue Boston & Sandwich pressed glass candlestick, circa
1840. Arabella loved the way the dolphin’s head rested on a slab
glass base, its mermaid-like tail curling seductively upward.
Still, there were some, among them Arabella’s ex-husband, who
might say that this wasn’t the time to invest heart and soul (not to
mention one’s hard fought life’s savings) into brick and mortar,
especially when so much of today’s antiques trade was negotiat-
ed online. But while Arabella respectfully
acknowledged that an Internet presence
may be necessary, replacing lemon oil
and old leather for search engines and
live bidding was as foreign to her as relinquishing the tactile feel of page and
paper for a Kindle.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking: the
opening is far too longwinded for a short
story. After all, we’re at 370 words and
there’s still no hint of a mystery. But part
of me had already fallen in love with Arabella Carpenter, an irascible thirtysomething throwback in time who loves
antiques and hates social media. I knew
I couldn’t let her languish in the pages of
an unpublished short story. I knew I had
to create a world for Arabella to live in.
I wish I could tell you that I immediately
began outlining The Hanged Man’s
Noose, or that the ideas and the words
flowed onto the page, tumbling upon one
another in their rush to get out. The harsh reality is that it would be
another year before I even started on the novel.
Now, I can blame any number of things for my procrastination,
and probably did at one time or another, but undoubtedly my most
ironic excuse was this: I was already too busy writing.
You see, in my day jobs I’m a fulltime freelance writer for various
magazines and trade publications. I’m also the Senior Editor of
New England Antiques Journal and the Editor of Home BUILDER
Magazine. Those who aren’t familiar with the role of magazine
editor might think all an editor does is assign features and tweak
punctuation and grammar, but the truth of the matter is we do all
that, plus write a good deal of the copy (much of it without a byline).
Continued on next page
As a fulltime freelance writer for more than
a decade, Judy Penz Sheluk has specialized in writing about art, antiques, and the
residential housing industry; her articles
have appeared regularly in dozens of U.S.
and Canadian consumer and trade publications. She is currently the Editor of
Home BUILDER Magazine, and the Senior
Editor for New England Antiques Journal.
The Hanged Man’s Noose is the first in a
proposed series. Visit Judy at
www.judypenzsheluk.com to find out
more.
First Draft
Page 34
Creating a Protagonist, continued
So the “too busy writing” excuse become my official mantra.
“Other folks write to get from their day jobs,” I’d lament to any
poor sod who was willing to listen. “If I was a plumber, and I
plumbed all day, writing would be my escape.”
After all, what was I going to do for the next twelve days if I didn’t
write? It wasn’t like I could take up plumbing.
Thankfully, Arabella Carpenter wasn’t listening. Instead, she continued to live on in my head, prodding me with new ideas and
stickier situations.
I’m not saying it was easy, and I’m not saying I didn’t make my fair
share of rookie mistakes. I may make my living as a writer, but I
discovered early on that writing a 65,000+ word cozy mystery was
a far cry from writing a 1,000-word fact-based feature article. In
fact, truth be told, the first draft was nothing short of abysmal.
“What if a big shot, big city real estate developer came to the
sleepy little town of Lount’s Landing?”
What that first draft did, however, was prove to me that I could
write as an escape from my day job.
“What if he had plans to convert the deaccessioned elementary
school at the foot of historic Main Street into a mega-box store?”
Escaping to Lount’s Landing, to Arabella and company, became
as vital to my daily routine as exercise, eating and sleeping. I’ve
been asked if Arabella is like me, and the short answer is no, although I do admire her unrepentant expectation for authenticity in
objects and people alike, and I’ll admit I can be every bit as irascible.
Hmmm and double hmmm . . . I’d seen firsthand how animated
small town folks can be when it comes to development—not that
I’d ever heard of anyone getting murdered over it. But the idea
stuck with me, until finally, on the morning of Christmas Eve 2011,
with nearly two weeks of time off looming ahead of me (and no
I also share her passion for cookies.
real vacation plans), I decided to take the plunge.
Acquiring Editors’ Pet Peeves by Lourdes Venard
A
re you unwittingly turning off an acquiring
editor by committing
one of her pet peeves?
Two acquiring editors spoke
about what works – and
what doesn’t – at a panel at
the Left Coast Crime convention in Colorado Springs.
time, the character’s name
could simply be replaced by
he or she, or him or her.
Terri Bischoff, acquiring editor for Midnight Ink, mostly
accepts agented submissions or those by invitation.
Like Dietz, she has pet
peeves, too. Two of hers:
Denise “Deni” Dietz, a senior
 One of them is authors
Photo courtesy of Darrell Hoemann
editor for Five Star publicawho
don’t know the genre or
Denise “Deni” Dietz, left, and Terri Bischoff.
tions, says any manuscript
subgenre in which they are
sent to her should follow the submission guidelines, and authors
writing. “Or they say, ‘I write like so and so,’ and I open the
should be professional in their dealings with her. She isn’t looking
manuscript and it isn’t at all” like that writer, Bischoff said.
for perfection in a manuscript, but she is looking for someone with
 Writers who submit and a week later are asking her about the
a “good voice” and for solid “characterization, plot, and pacing.”
submission.
She does have several pet peeves, and warns writers:
Because Dietz and Bischoff work for smaller publishing houses,
 To avoid using “animal tags,” such as “he roared” or “she
they will often critique or give suggestions to authors who show
growled.” In most instances, just use “he said,” with only a
promise, but whose manuscript may still need some work. Take
few variations.
time to really rework the manuscript before resubmitting it, they
said.
 To keep eyes on a person’s face. Don’t say someone’s eyes
“trailed across the room” or “she dropped her eyes to the
Finally, don’t try to follow the trends, or the popular authors.
floor – where they could get stepped on,” Dietz quipped.
“If you are submitting to me and saying, ‘it’s like Dan Brown,’ ”
 To do a search for your character’s name. Many writers over- said Dietz, “well, I tried getting through Dan Brown four times and
finally gave up.”
use the name of their characters, and fifty percent of the