English 11- Descriptive Writing
Descriptive Writing
Assignment: Write a one-two page (approx.. 400-600
words) that describes an object that defines you.
What object is a reflection of your identity?
Can you describe it using all the senses and maybe
even some figurative language?
My object:
__________________________________________________________________________________________
In summary, why does it define me?
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What is a descriptive piece of writing?
A. Descriptive paragraphs include details that appeal to the five senses: sight, taste,
touch, smell, and hearing. In a descriptive paragraph, the writer must convey
information that appeals to all the senses, in order to give the best possible description
to the reader.
B. It must have a purpose. What is the message you are trying to convey?
C. It has precise language. Eg. Tulip instead of flower; mansion instead of home.
D. Strong verbs (He slammed the book down)
E. Comparisons and literary devices such as similes (speaks like a queen) and hyperboles
(strong as an ox)
F. http://www.time4writing.com/writing-resources/descriptive-essay/
To do before writing- choose ONE option:
1. Find examples of descriptive writing in your silent reading book. Record the precise
language, the strong verbs and the literary devices.
2. Read “The Suitcase Lady” page 82-84 in The Act of Writing. In your group, discuss
questions 1-5 in Structure and 1-3 in Style.
3. Read “Hickory Chips”. http://www.thewritesource.com/studentmodels/wi-hickory.htm
What makes this piece of writing so effective? How is it organized? Do you see how the
author uses sensory words and images to describe?
English 11- Descriptive Writing
Describe your object using sensory words. Use strong verbs and nouns, not just adjectives.
See
Hear
Taste
Touch
Smell
Emotions/Feelings
Don’t forget the structure of a paragraph
Topic sentence
Supporting details are presented in a logical order (time, importance etc.)
Concluding sentence
English 11- Descriptive Writing
Examples descriptive writing :
H’s Hickory Chips
I look at the old tin building; it seems to have been there since the beginning of time. Its strong posts and
nonchalant slouch make me wonder if it will be rooted in the same place forever. As soon as I walk in, the
strong, rustic smell of hickory wood assails me. It takes me back to my family’s last Fourth of July barbeque,
when the hickory chips smoking the ribs gave off their thick aroma. I wait for my eyes to adjust in the dark,
humid place, not taking a step until they do because of the ageless spider that could have made its home in my
path. My tongue already asks for a drink of water as I breathe the musty air littered with sawdust. Spraying on
sticky repellent, I wonder if the thirsty mosquitoes will stay away.
I walk to my work area, making sure I do not trip over the precious finds and the hopeful antiques. I brush
against a wall of the old building that is really more of a shed, and a mat of spiderwebs clings to my shirt and
refuses to come off. The gentle hum of the small fans and the roar of the monster ones fight against the humid
air.
I pull out a machine that is supposed to tie the two-pound bags that are full of hickory chips, but it has a mind of
its own. Placing the bulky machine on the high bench with its layers of gritty sawdust, I hope it has decided to
work today and load a bag into it. As I pull down the top of the machine, I stare it in its mechanical eyes,
willing it to work. I pull the bag back out of the machine and look down on another battle lost. For now the
brute has won the war of wills, and I prepare myself with a box of red ties to close all 1,000 of the smooth bags
by hand.
The clang of the shovel dumping its first load onto the ancient scale can be heard throughout the shed, signaling
that work has begun. The salty sweat begins to bead on my forehead, and for the first of many times, I wipe it
away, leaving a smudge of dirt and dust. Already I yell “First shower!” to assure my place in line after our work
is completed. I hear my three sisters shout numbers throughout the shed. Amanda, the last to call a number,
frowns, knowing she will have to wait a long time for the hot water to return after all the showers.
My grandfather walks into the shed, a cane in one hand and a pack of icy cold colas in the other. His deep
Southern drawl permeates the building as he asks if we’ve had lunch yet. Our eyes brighten and smiles play on
our faces as we silently hope he will offer the traditional sloppy whopper and golden fries. He leaves as silently
as he came in, and our stomachs start to growl with anticipation for lunch.
My sisters’ and aunt’s chatting and soft laughter has started as they begin to catch up on each other’s lives. I
look around, wondering what people would say if they could see the Horne sisters outside of the house with no
makeup on and their hair in disarray. I laugh and keep the thoughts to myself, listening in as my aunt’s next
story begins.
At the end of the day, when all of the work is done, I pull the pallet—our makeshift gate—closed and pet my
grandfather’s latest endeavor at a vicious watchdog. I sigh with relief that it’s over. Even though sometimes I
dread the thought of work, especially when I know it is going to occupy another Saturday, the time spent with
my family and the laughter shared will always be worth the sweat and scrapes. The memories will always be
treasures in my mind and will continue to be among the things I laugh about and love the most. (678 words)
English 11- Descriptive Writing
Descriptive Essay
10 /9
Ideas
(how this
object
reflects your
identity)
Word Choice
Meaning/purpose
is clear. May be
explicit. Subject is
interesting but may
be simple.
Meaning/purpose is
unclear and/or explicit.
Subject may be too
simple or not properly
described.
Chooses words that are
clear, descriptive and
accurate. Senses are
engaged and vocabulary
is sophisticated.
Adequately chooses
words that are clear
and descriptive.
Senses are engaged
and vocabulary is
usually sophisticated.
Tone is consistent.
Chooses some
words that are
clear and
descriptive but may
be simple.
Language and tone of
letter is unclear and
lacks description.
Simple words with little
risk.
Sentence structure is
generally correct.
Sentence structure
is generally correct.
Simple sentences
and/or
A mix of short and
long sentences
Little fluency in
sentence length
confusing to read.
Writing flows but
sentences could be
more complex and
varied.
Writing does not
flow due to
confusing ideas OR
sentences are
simple.
Mistakes and
mechanics and
conventions are
minimal
Mistakes in
mechanics and
conventions are
evident but don’t
impede meaning.
Sentences are complete,
well written and
complex.
A mix of short and long
sentences
Mechanics and
conventions are flawless.
Semicolons are perfect!
Rules in academic writing
are followed
Semicolons are almost
perfect
Rules in academic
writing are followed.
Voice
6.5/6/5.5
Meaning/purpose is
implied but clear.
Mature subject and
writing.
Writing flows with
minimal interruptions for
clarification of ideas
Conventions
7
Paragraph is powerful
and the meaning/purpose
is implied but clear.
Mature subject that is
communicated creatively.
Tone is consistent.
Sentence
Structure
and Fluency
8.5/8/7.5
Tone is uneven.
Semicolons?
Some mistakes in
academic writing.
No attempt at sentence
fluency
Mistakes and mechanics
stall reading and
impede meaning.
Mistakes in academic
writing.
Semicolons not
apparent or incorrectly
used.