Area Thesis Excellent (4) -Main Idea -Purpose Organization -Intro, body, conclusion -Effective transitions -Appropriate content supports purpose Mechanics -Grammar -Spelling -Punctuation Statement of Purpose/Personal Statement Critique Rubric Competent (3) Needs Development (2) Poor (1) Is able to write a clearly articulated, original thesis Is able to state a thesis; may be either somewhat unclear or somewhat lacking in originality Is able to articulate a thesis/purpose; may be unclear or lacking in originality. Is unable to articulate any thesis/purpose. Is able to write a well-organized statement of purpose, including a clearly written introduction, main body and conclusion. Introduction includes thesis or introduces theme. Each body paragraph has a topic sentence, develops one main idea, and has a transition sentence linking it to the next paragraph. The conclusion brings everything together plus adds a little more. Is able to use correct grammar, spelling and punctuation. Writing is clear and concise, without unnecessary jargon. Is able to write an introduction, main body, and conclusion. The introduction includes a thesis. 1-2 body paragraphs may lack a topic sentence, include more than one idea, or lack a transition sentence. The conclusion summarizes the main argument but may not add a little more. Is able to write an introduction, main body and conclusion. The introduction includes a thesis. Multiple body paragraphs may lack a topic sentence, include more than one main idea, or lack a transition sentence. The conclusion may not clearly summarize the argument or add a little more. Statement lacks a clear organizational pattern. Chosen content does not support the thesis or purpose of the statement. Is able to write a statement with minor errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation. Writing is still clear and concise, without unnecessary jargon. Is able to write a statement with moderate errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation; or in some places writing is unclear, wordy, or uses unnecessary jargon. Writes with major errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation; or in a number of places writing is unclear, wordy, or uses unnecessary jargon. Total Score: Comments: Does the statement convince the reader of any of the following desirable attributes that indicate maturity Attribute As indicted by… Attribute As indicated by… Realistic self-assessment Acknowledging limitations Supported (emotionally) Not isolating self from others Resourceful Seeking help when appropriate Focused Concentrating on task at hand Accountable Accepting responsibility for learning Active learner Integrating and applying new information Cooperative Working well with others Flexible Willingness to change Persistent Completing tasks Efficient Making good use of time Resilient Accepting disappointment and moving on Organized Systematically taking care of business Service-oriented / Concern for others Discussing how they benefited others in terms of the feelings Purposeful Setting goals long and short term goals of others, not personal pride or benefit Demonstrating good performance with employment or extracurricular activities or improved performance without the distraction of activities Balance Score Use this guide to evaluate the author’s development of the most common Personal Statement topics. (Important Note: No Personal Statement will cover all of these topics) Does this Personal Statement: Comments Answer the “Why” question? Does the author discuss experiences that lend credibility to the stated commitment to their profession? Could the answers and supporting examples given be said of any other “helping” profession? Does the author discuss why the specific healthcare profession they’ve chosen is the logical consequence of the experiences given? Does the author give clear evidence that they are committed to the profession? Does the author move beyond the cliché answers of “Why?” (Desire since childhood, love for science/research/learning, want to help people, etc.) Does the author display a passion for their profession? Do they adequately explain the source of that passion? Mention volunteer, healthcare or work experiences and/or activities they’ve engaged in? Does the author merely repeat information the reader can glean from other parts of the application? Does the author develop those experiences and describe their influence on them? Does the author describe what they learned from the experience? If they were in a leadership role, does the author explain how they contributed to “getting the job done?” Does the author describe how they have matured as a result of the experience? Discuss individuals or incidents that have shaped their life in a significant way? Does the author discuss what’s important to them? Do the mention what they learned about themselves as a result? Does the author discuss the most influential people in their life? Did they explain their influence? Does the author reveal the pivotal moments in their life? Did they explain how those moments affected them? Convince the reader that the author is service-oriented, others-centered and altruistic? Does the author convince the reader that they have a strong commitment to serving others, regardless of personal benefit? Discuss the author’s long-term career and personal aspirations? Are the author’s comments substantial or definitive? Does the author dogmatically cling to one specific area? Does the author seem to be open-minded about their career path? Shed light on possible academic irregularities? Does the author explain what happened without making excuses, taking responsibility for what happened, and share what they learned or did differently as a result? Does the author convince the reader that the circumstances will not be repeated? Shed light on the author as a “non-traditional” applicant? Does the author describe the advantages they bring to the profession as a result of being a non-traditional applicant? (i.e. race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, academic background, career background, or life experiences) Does the author gloss over what sets them apart, or do they describe how their “uniqueness” is an advantage? Reflect the fact that the author is re-applying after at least one unsuccessful application cycle? Does the author use the original essay, or simply re-write the old one? Does the author’s words reflect that they are not the same person they were when they applied previously? Does the author reflect on their initial reaction to non-acceptance? Did the author seek a post interview with admissions? Does the author share their reaction to the interview and the action they took since then as a result? Does the author convince the reader how they are a better applicant now than they were last time?
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