Personal Statement Evaluation - NMSU College of Arts and Sciences

Area
Thesis
Excellent (4)
-Main Idea
-Purpose
Organization
-Intro, body,
conclusion
-Effective transitions
-Appropriate content
supports purpose
Mechanics
-Grammar
-Spelling
-Punctuation
Statement of Purpose/Personal Statement Critique Rubric
Competent (3)
Needs Development (2)
Poor (1)
Is able to write a clearly articulated,
original thesis
Is able to state a thesis; may be either
somewhat unclear or somewhat
lacking in originality
Is able to articulate a thesis/purpose;
may be unclear or lacking in
originality.
Is unable to articulate any
thesis/purpose.
Is able to write a well-organized
statement of purpose, including a
clearly written introduction, main
body and conclusion. Introduction
includes thesis or introduces theme.
Each body paragraph has a topic
sentence, develops one main idea,
and has a transition sentence linking
it to the next paragraph. The
conclusion brings everything together
plus adds a little more.
Is able to use correct grammar,
spelling and punctuation. Writing is
clear and concise, without
unnecessary jargon.
Is able to write an introduction, main
body, and conclusion. The
introduction includes a thesis. 1-2
body paragraphs may lack a topic
sentence, include more than one
idea, or lack a transition sentence.
The conclusion summarizes the main
argument but may not add a little
more.
Is able to write an introduction, main
body and conclusion. The
introduction includes a thesis.
Multiple body paragraphs may lack a
topic sentence, include more than
one main idea, or lack a transition
sentence. The conclusion may not
clearly summarize the argument or
add a little more.
Statement lacks a clear organizational
pattern.
Chosen content does not support the
thesis or purpose of the statement.
Is able to write a statement with
minor errors in grammar, spelling or
punctuation. Writing is still clear and
concise, without unnecessary jargon.
Is able to write a statement with
moderate errors in grammar, spelling
or punctuation; or in some places
writing is unclear, wordy, or uses
unnecessary jargon.
Writes with major errors in grammar,
spelling, or punctuation; or in a
number of places writing is unclear,
wordy, or uses unnecessary jargon.
Total Score:
Comments:
Does the statement convince the reader of any of the following desirable attributes that indicate maturity
Attribute
As indicted by…
Attribute
As indicated by…
Realistic self-assessment
Acknowledging limitations
Supported (emotionally)
Not isolating self from others
Resourceful
Seeking help when appropriate
Focused
Concentrating on task at hand
Accountable
Accepting responsibility for learning
Active learner
Integrating and applying new information
Cooperative
Working well with others
Flexible
Willingness to change
Persistent
Completing tasks
Efficient
Making good use of time
Resilient
Accepting disappointment and moving on
Organized
Systematically taking care of business
Service-oriented / Concern for others
Discussing how they benefited others in terms of the feelings
Purposeful
Setting goals long and short term goals
of others, not personal pride or benefit
Demonstrating good performance with employment or extracurricular activities or improved performance without the distraction of activities
Balance
Score
Use this guide to evaluate the author’s development of the most common Personal Statement topics.
(Important Note: No Personal Statement will cover all of these topics)
Does this Personal Statement:
Comments
Answer the “Why” question?
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Does the author discuss experiences that lend credibility to the stated commitment to their profession? Could the
answers and supporting examples given be said of any other “helping” profession? Does the author discuss why the
specific healthcare profession they’ve chosen is the logical consequence of the experiences given? Does the author
give clear evidence that they are committed to the profession?
Does the author move beyond the cliché answers of “Why?” (Desire since childhood, love for
science/research/learning, want to help people, etc.)
Does the author display a passion for their profession? Do they adequately explain the source of that passion?
Mention volunteer, healthcare or work experiences and/or activities they’ve engaged in?
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Does the author merely repeat information the reader can glean from other parts of the application?
Does the author develop those experiences and describe their influence on them?
Does the author describe what they learned from the experience?
If they were in a leadership role, does the author explain how they contributed to “getting the job done?”
Does the author describe how they have matured as a result of the experience?
Discuss individuals or incidents that have shaped their life in a significant way?
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Does the author discuss what’s important to them? Do the mention what they learned about themselves as a result?
Does the author discuss the most influential people in their life? Did they explain their influence?
Does the author reveal the pivotal moments in their life? Did they explain how those moments affected them?
Convince the reader that the author is service-oriented, others-centered and altruistic?
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Does the author convince the reader that they have a strong commitment to serving others, regardless of personal
benefit?
Discuss the author’s long-term career and personal aspirations?
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Are the author’s comments substantial or definitive? Does the author dogmatically cling to one specific area? Does the
author seem to be open-minded about their career path?
Shed light on possible academic irregularities?
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Does the author explain what happened without making excuses, taking responsibility for what happened, and share
what they learned or did differently as a result? Does the author convince the reader that the circumstances will not
be repeated?
Shed light on the author as a “non-traditional” applicant?
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Does the author describe the advantages they bring to the profession as a result of being a non-traditional applicant?
(i.e. race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, academic background, career background, or life experiences)
Does the author gloss over what sets them apart, or do they describe how their “uniqueness” is an advantage?
Reflect the fact that the author is re-applying after at least one unsuccessful application cycle?
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Does the author use the original essay, or simply re-write the old one?
Does the author’s words reflect that they are not the same person they were when they applied previously?
Does the author reflect on their initial reaction to non-acceptance? Did the author seek a post interview with
admissions? Does the author share their reaction to the interview and the action they took since then as a result?
Does the author convince the reader how they are a better applicant now than they were last time?