Family Violence in a Rural Setting
Presenter: Lesley Elliot
Not long after Sophie Elliott lost her life at the hands of a former boyfriend the detective in charge of
the investigation phoned her mother, Lesley, to say another woman had come forward with a story
of abuse from the same man. Lesley began to research the topic of women and abuse and quickly
realised all the signs of an abusive relationship were there in front of her and Sophie. They simply
didn’t recognise them. Lesley surmised that if neither she nor Sophie could see the signs, particularly
in a psychologically abusive situation, then thousands of other women mightn’t see them
either. Lesley talks of what these signs are and what we can do to educate young people about
keeping safe from abusive relationships.
In partnership with the New Zealand Police the Sophie Elliott Foundation, headed by Lesley,
developed the one day, interactive workshop Loves-Me-Not for year 12 students. The programme
looks at what constitutes a healthy (equal) relationship and what can trigger an unhealthy
(controlling) one. Issues such as consent and being a bystander form important parts of the
workshop. Police, working in conjunction with teachers facilitate the workshops. It is the role of the
foundation to supply top quality film resources aimed at stimulating student discussion. Lesley talks
about how the programme is making positive change.
Lesley’s presentation mainly centres on the signs and red flags in an unhealthy relationship and how
this equates and impacts on health in a rural setting.