RESEARCH REPORT #45
National
Organizationof
Mothers
SIJBJECT:
of
RESEARCHER:
Twins
Clubs,Inc.
DATE:
YOUR MI,]LTIPLES' GRANDPARENT
NationalOrganizationof Mothersof Twins Clubs, Inc.
1994-1995
PURPOSE:
The purposeof this study was to explore parents' attitudesand concernsabout the
grandparentof their multiples.
METHOD:
A questionnairewas printed in MOTC's Notebookand a National Mailing. The survey
was to be filled out by parentsof multiples.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION:
This surveywas completedby 506 parentsof multiples.The majority,484, were completedby mothers
of multiples.The parentsrangedin agefrom 19 to over 61 yearsof age,however,mostthe parentswere
264O yearsof age.The multiplet]?es of the childrenwere: 135 identical;189 fratemal,samesex; 125
fraternal,boy/girl; 34 unknown;and22 triplets,quads,etc. 47% of the multipleshad 4 grandparents:
living (10% had more than4 grandparents,
23% h^d 3; 15% and2; and4% had only I grandparent
obviouslyincludingstep-grandparents).
RESULTS:
l.
would alwaystell their multiplegrandchildrenapart;
57% of the parentssaidthat the grandparents
25% colld most of the time. Only 3 grandparents
couldnevertell them apart,howeverin 22 sets
of grandparents,
one grandparent
couldtell the multiplesapartand the other couldn't.
2.
96% of the grandchildrenlived in two parenthome.
3.
The patentssaid that oriy 17% of the grandparentsalwaysagreedwith the parenting style of the
multiples'caregiver;70% usuallyagreed;l0% sometimes
agreed;and only 1% rarely agreed..
4.
The parentss^id th^t 48% of the grandparents
would be willing and ableto raisethe multiplesif
somethinghappenedto their parents;32% wereunsure;and 19%wouldn't be willing.
5.
437oof the grandparents
lived in the sametown wasthe multiples;23% lived 1/2 to 2 hours
away;7% lived 2-5 hoursaway; and,22%lived morethan 5 hoursaway.
6.
25% of the grandparents
sawthe multiplesseveraltimesa week;23% sawthem oncea week;
l27o sawthemtwice a month; 75% sawthemonceeverymonthor two; 12% sawthem 3-4 times
a year; l0% saw them 1-2timesa year; and 10% sawthemrarely.
'1.
50% said they would like to seetheir parentscomemore often; 46Vowouldn't chnge; and 3%
lessoften.
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RESEARCHREPORT#45
Page 2
8.
The most cornmonreasonsfor not seeingthe grandparentsmore often were: distanceto travel too
busywith job, etc. (64); parentstoo busy withjobs, etc. (50); multiples
far (168); grandparent
(4); grandparent
haspoor relationshipwith
too busy (7); poor relationshipwith grandparents
the family (2).
multiples(2); and divorcehasseparated
9.
on the following occasions:holidays(347);
The muitiples'family visitedthe grandparents
(83); anytime,no special
birthdays(272); vacations(181); illness(90); crises(101); anniversaries
said THEY usuallyhad to visit the multiples.
occasion(371). 64 grandparents
10.
visitedthe multipleson the following occasions:
The grandparents
birthdays(304); holidays
(143);illness(113);crises(ll5); anytime,no specialoccasion
(374').29said
(311);vacations
too
far
away
to
visit.
they lived
11.
the sameon holidays,birthdays,etc.;
35% felt that they alwaystreatedeachset of grandparents
the
39% did someof the time, 12% didn't very often; and 8% nevertreatedthe grandparents
grandparents.
satne.6% had only 1 set of
12.
equalamountof time with eachset of grandparents;
26% felt that the multiplesspenta reasonably
4Vowereunsure;and 62% saidno, the time wasn't equal.Whenthe time was unequal'7I7o
spentmore time with the mother'sparents.The reasonsfor the time spentnot being equalwere:
choice(26%); parert's choice(8%); multiples'
distanceto far to travel (59%); grandparent's
(1%\.
choi,ce
13.
were NEVER in competitionwith each othe\ 2%
52% of the parentsfelt that the grandparents
said they were mostof the time; l2Vo saidthey weresomeof the time; and 25% said they were,
but not very often.
14.
487oof the parentsfelt that the grandparents
shouldoffer advicein the disciplineof the multiples,
in certainsituationsonly;42% saidthey shouldNOT offer advice;5% said they should,usually,
offer advice;and 6% wereunsure.
15.
52% saidthe grandparents
felt free to disciplinethe multiplesusinga combinationof their own
and the parent'sstyleof discipline;22%nsedtheir own fotm; 12%usedthe parent'sform od
didn't want or needto discipline;and 3% of parents
disciplineonly1,7%said the grandparents
grandparents
to
discipline
the multiplesat all.
didn't want the
.
16.
didn't favor the multiplesover any singletongrandchildren1'
l%
6l% saidthat the grandparents
did favor the multiplesall the time; 5 % did frequently;9% did sometimes;and7 % did, but only
rarely (16% didn't haveany singletongrandchildren).
17.
would babysitfor the multipleswheneverasked;39% would,
32% srid the grandparents
7% wolld,, but rarely; and 10% would
dependingon their schedule;10% would occasionally;
NOT babysit.The major reasonsfor not babysittingwere: distancetoo far to travel (58);
grandparent'shealthpreventsit (11); grandparents
not willing to babysit/"havealreadyraisedmy
own children" (i6); grandparent
is working (6); grandparent's
scheduletoo busy (13); secohdary
to the multiDles'behavior(3).
RESEARCHREPORT #45
Page 3
18.
3O7oof the grandparents
babysatthe multiplesonceor twice a month; 19% 3-4 timesz year;
l7 % onceor twice a week; 17% onceor twice a year;2% EVERY day; 7 % lessthan oncea
year; and 7% NEVER babysat.53% wereneverofferedpaymentfor babysitting;9% werc
offeredbut refusedpayment;2Vowerc rarely paid; 4% weresometimes
paid; and 2% were
ALWAYS paid. 84% of the parentsthoughtthatthe grandparents
preferrednot to get paid,.81To
of the parentsfelt that the grandparents
did not babysittoo often, and l0% felt they did babysit
too often.
19.
9O%of the parentssaidthe grandparents
tried to spendthe sameamountof moneyon each
multiplewhen buyinggifts for them.68% saidthat the grandparents
spentthe sameamounton a
singletongrandchildas they did on the multiples;7% spentMORE on the singleton;and 3%
spentmore on eachmultiple.
20.
3O%of the parentssaidthat the grandparents
boughtthe samepresentfor the multiples,most of
the time; 37% saidit depended
on the gift whetherit wasthe sameor different; 16% different
gifts, most of the time; 1l % samegifts, all the time; and 5% differentgifts, all the time. 58%
felt that the multiplesproperlythankedtheir grandparents
for gifts given, mostof the time, 15%
did not.
21.
If the parentsaskedthe grandparents
NOT to buy certaingifts for the multiples,67% always
respectedtheir wishes;15%sometimes
did; and 11% said it dependedon rhe gift.
22.
The parentssaid that the grandparents
enjoyedtakingthe multiplesout to: the park (140); on a
walk (106); shopping(66); to sportingevents(9); or to a movie (14).
23.
The parentssaidthat the grandparents
attendedthe following "Grandparent"functions:school
events(140); recitals(88); daycareprograms(65); sportsevenrs(82); MOTC events(111). 141
would like to attend,but wereunabledue to distance,healthproblems,etc. 63 don't attendany
by their own choice(doesn'tenjoy them,too busy, etc.).
**)k*+*+++,Ft+:t+++**,t**'k'*+++*+++*:t*****,t**:i.*+*+rF:t+*****!t+*++****,I,t*,t
)k,f**,**
**+,t:!tr :t:N,r
CONCLUSION:
1
Only a little over half of the parentssaidthat the grandparents
couldalwaystell the multiples
apart(66% of the grandparents
in the companionsurveysaidthey couldalwaystell them apart).
z.
The parentsgenerallyfelt that the grandparents
agreedwith their parentingstyle.
5-
The parentsthoughtthat only abouthalf of the grandparents
would be willing and able to raisethe
multiplesif somethinghappened
parents
(however,
to their
almost75% of the grandparents
said
they would raisetheir grandchildrenif necessary).
4.
Similarto the first survey,the main reasonsfor the grandparents
not seeingthe multiplesmore
often were: distanceto travel too far; grandparents
parents
or
busy with jobs; and multipleswere
too busy.
5.
The multiples'family andthe grandparents
often got togetherat birthdays,holidays,vacations,
and during illnessand crisis. However,mostsaidthey didn't needa specialoccasionto visit one
another-theyliked to seethemanytime!
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RESEARCHREPORT#4S
Page4
6.
Only one-third of the parentsfelt that they alwaystreatedeachset of grandparentsthe sameon
holidays, birthdays, etc. (however, 75% of the grandparentssaid that they felt they were treated
the same).When one set of grandparentsspentmore time with the multiples it was usually
becausethey lived closerto them.
7.
About half of the parentsfelt that the grandparentsshould offer advice in the discipline of the
multiples, but about4O% felt that they should NOT offer advice.
8.
The parents said that most of the time the grandparentswere happy to babysit. The main reasons
work schedule,grandparent'shealth
they did NOT were: distanceto travel too far, grandparent's
problems;and somewerejust not willing ("I've alreadyraisedmy own children"). Most
gmndparentswere not paid for babysitting, and most of the parentsfelt that they preferred not to
get paid (the grandparentsin the first survey echoedthis statement).
9,
tried to spendthe sameamounton eachchild for gifts,
The parentssaid that the grandparents
whetherthey werea multipleor singletonchild. They also saidthat the grandparents
didn't seem
to favor the multiples over a singletongrandchild.
10.
activitieswith the multipleswere going to the
Similar to the first survey,favoritegrandparent
park and taking a walk. The parentssaid the grandparentsenjoyedattendingschool events,
recitals,daycareprograms,sportsevents,andMOTC events.
11.
Multiples," with a few
Resultsof this surveywere similarto the first survey, "Grandparenting
as notedabove.
exceDtions.
Pleaserefer also to ResearchReport #44, "Grandparenting Multiples. "