More than JUST a Rubric: One approach to helping students improve their writing
Write To Learn Conference 2017
Amanda Durnal
Session 58
Blue Valley High School
Tan-Tar-A Resort
Ozark, MO
Blue Valley School District, KS
[email protected] or [email protected]
Overview of Today’s session:
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Opening Activity-Mad Libs
A day in the life of a student writer
The standards we live by
My rubric-A work in progress/overview and origin of this work
Semester Snapshot-how I managed to make “REGULAR” kids better writers.
Other assignments/ideas/brainstorm session
Closing-What is your take away?
My Rubric:
Claim
Evidence
A+ (5)
A (4.5)
B (4)
C (3.5)
D (3)
F (2.5 or lower)
Clearly provides
reader with
insightful topic and
includes all
necessary references.
Clearly provides
reader with strong
topic and includes all
necessary references.
Provides the reader
with the topic and
includes most
necessary
references.
Provides the reader
with a general topic
and is missing
necessary references.
Provides the reader
little direction on
topic and is missing
necessary
references.
Provides the reader
no direction on
topic and is missing
necessary
references.
Writer chose a
strong, unique piece
of evidence that
enhances the claim
and included correct
citation.
Writer chose a
worthy piece of
evidence that
develops the claim
and includes correct
citation.
Writer chose a good
piece of evidence
that connects to the
claim and includes
mostly correct
citation.
Writer chose a weak
piece of evidence
that does not add to
the claim and
includes incorrect
citation.
Writer did not
include evidence or
provided no citation
to support.
Writing is clear,
focused, directly
connects evidence
and claim, and
exhibits thorough
analysis of text.
Writing is focused,
connects evidence
and claim, and
exhibits some
analysis of text.
Writer chose a
predictable piece of
evidence that may or
may not add to the
claim and includes
mostly correct
citation.
Writing may lack
focus. The
connection between
evidence and claim,
as well as text
analysis is mostly
obvious and
superficial.
Writing lacks focus,
connection between
evidence and claim,
presented as text
summary rather
than analysis.
Writing shows no
focus or control and
there is nothing but
summary included.
Writing is clear,
consistently focused.
Commentary
Thoroughly connects
& Analysis
evidence and claim,
and exhibits superior
analysis of text.
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SEMESTER SNAPSHOT:
Objective: This portion of my presentation is meant to give you an overview of how this simple rubric
drove my writing instruction for an entire semester. I have included MANY of the assignment pieces I
used with my students in this semester of learning and encourage you to make use of anything that
applies to your classroom.
Aug 26: Finished reading a short story, “The Flowers” by Alice Walker and took notes on the structure of a
paragraph-“Argumentative Writing-The Basics” Had them draft a paragraph
Aug 28: Color coded our writing-Blue for Claim, Green for Evidence, Pink/Red for commentary-revise as
needed.
Sept 1: Scoring Conference. Reviewed the basics-always say “the writer”, remember you may be grading
work from someone at your table, writing is personal process-MODEL how to talk about writing.
Sept 3: Write next paragraph over next short story-“Masque of the Red Death”
Sept 4: Scatter student sample of Masque paragraphs to score and review-what do we do well? What
needs work? (Make simple paper poster of student thinking to come back to as we write). Also-guided
Masque paragraph activity (individual work)
Sept 16: Write 3rd paragraph-use of allegory in Animal Farm.
Oct 1: Timed write response to Animal Farm-Full Essay-Can there be progress without conflict?
Oct 8-9: Turning paragraphs into papers-Synthesis Writing Assignment (22nd Amendment Prompt) These
sources, outlines and paper were written IN CLASS (the essay was a “timed write” of sorts but we had
prepped going into it, so they were not flying blind…)
Oct 14: Synthesis Papers Goal Sheet-Review the 10 goals for ALL writers. Have them choose one they
need to work on from Synthesis Paper Feedback and process this out.
Oct 15-28: Research unit culminating in a research paper
Nov 20: Research graded-writing goals sheet. I highlighted TWO goals for them-they chose one.
Dec 1-Dec 4: Write final paper-All Quiet Synthesis Essay-focusing on the THREE goals established with
the research paper.
Dec 16: On the day of their final they got their All Quiet papers back and had to complete a Goal Reflection
Sheet as well as target two goals to start with in the Spring Semester.
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Slide 1
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Argumentative
Writing-The Basics
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Aug 28, 2013
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Slide 2
Question/Prompt
• Look carefully at what the prompt is asking
you to know.
• Look carefully at how the prompt wants
you to show what you know.
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Slide 3
Claim (Thesis Statement)
• Your claim is your thesis statement.
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• Claim should provide your answer to
the question/prompt and be clear and
concise.
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• You do not want to start of sounding
like a “maybe”.
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Slide 4
Textual Evidence
• This needs to be direct textual evidence (in the
form of a quote) that supports your claim.
• If you cannot find textual support, your claim
needs tweaking.
• Try to go “beyond the obvious” and choose an
example that really represents your thinking.
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Slide 5
Commentary
• Commentary: This is where you take 2-3
sentences to practice going beyond the
obvious (beyond summary) and explain
how your claim and evidence connect by:
• Asking yourself why?
• Write to a blind audience.
• Use the text evidence to support
• Credit the other side in a way that
reiterates your main idea!
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Slide 6
Scoring of this writing
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Paragraph Improvement Exercise
Name:____________________
Prompt:
Which symbol in “The Masque of the Red Death” is the most important to the development of the
story? Include a claim, textual evidence, and commentary on your response
Response:
A symbol in the story is the abbey where they have the party. This is symbolic of the physical
barrier the prince and his friends tried to put between the party and the sickness. “The prince took his
friends to one of his castles to party” In the story the partiers spent many months locked away in order
to stay healthy and avoid getting sick. It didn’t work. They got sick anyway and everyone died in the
end.
Claim: A symbol in the story is the abbey where they have the party.
Rewrite: ______________________________________________________________________________
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Evidence: “The prince took his friends to one of his castles to party”
Rewrite: ______________________________________________________________________________
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Commentary: In the story the partiers spent many months locked away in order to
stay healthy and avoid getting sick. It didn’t work. They got sick anyway and
everyone died in the end.
Rewrite: ______________________________________________________________________________
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Allegory Writing Think Sheet-Yes you need to do this!
Name:____________________
How does George Orwell make use of allegory in the early chapters of Animal Farm?
Extras:
Define allegory: ________________________________________________________________________
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What book are we reading?:______________________________________________________________
Who wrote the book we are reading?:______________________________________________________
Claim Statement: Answer to the prompt:___________________________________________________
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Text Evidence: Which character/event is most allegorical to you?________________________________
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Briefly summarize who this character is or what happens in this event: ___________________________
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Find a quote and write it here with PAGE NUMBER that fits your summary: ________________________
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Commentary/Analysis: How does your character/event fit with the idea of allegory and help the reader
see what Orwell was trying to do as an author?
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Durnal’s initials/Feedback: _______________________________________________________________
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Can there be progress without conflict? Outline
NAME:____________________
1) Introduction-Paragraph #1
a) Introduce your definitions of progress and conflict.______________ _____________________
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b) Claim Statement: Answer the prompt: Can there be progress without conflict?______________
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2) Argument/Example #1-Paragraph #2
a) Describe the first example you plan to use to support your claim. ________________________
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b) What evidence supports this example? (Direct quote with author name) __________________
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___________________________________________Author:_____________________________
c) Commentary: Explain how this evidence supports your reasoning_________________________
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3) Counter-Argument/Opposing example #1-Paragraph #3
a) State the counterclaim. This should contradict or go against Argument/Reason #1.
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b) What evidence supports this reason? (Text quote with author name)._____________________
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___________________________________________Author:_____________________________
c) Commentary: State how this evidence/information is flawed or why it is not as important as
your claim._____________________________________________________________________
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4) Argument/Example #2-Paragraph #4
a) Describe the first example you plan to use to support your claim. _________________________
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b) What evidence supports this example? (Direct quote with author name)
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___________________________________________Author:_____________________________
c) Commentary: Explain how this evidence supports your reasoning________________________
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5) Conclusion-Paragraph #5
a) Summarize your main two examples. _______________________________________________
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b) Connect your thinking and your argument to the world outside these 3 texts._______________
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Do we need the 22nd Amendment? Outline
NAME:____________________
1) Introduction-Paragraph #1
a) Explain the background of the 22nd Amendment.______________ ________________________
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b) Claim Statement: Answer the prompt: Do we need the 22nd Amendment? _________________
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2) Argument/Example #1-Paragraph #2
a) Describe the first example you plan to use to support your claim. _______________________
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b) What evidence supports this example? (Direct quote with author name/source description) ___
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___________________________________________Author/Source:_______________________
c) Commentary: Explain how this evidence supports your reasoning._________________________
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3) Counter-Argument/Opposing example #1-Paragraph #3
a) State the counterclaim. This should contradict or go against Argument/Reason #1.
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b) What evidence supports this reason? (Direct quote with author name/source description). ____
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___________________________________________Author/Source: ______________________
c) Commentary: State how this evidence/information is flawed or why it is not as important as
your claim.____________________________________________________________________
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4) Argument/Example #2-Paragraph #4
a) Describe the second example you plan to use to support your claim. ______________________
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b) What evidence supports this example? (Direct quote with author name/source) ___________
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___________________________________________Author/Source: ____________________
c) Commentary: Explain how this evidence supports your reasoning_______________________
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5) Conclusion-Paragraph #5
a) Summarize your main two examples. ______________________________________________
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b) Reiterate why your perspective is the best answer to the question. ___________________________________________________________________________________________
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Argumentative Research Outline:
NAME:________________________
1) Introduction-Paragraph #1
a) Explain the background for your topic: ______________________________________________
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b) Claim Statement: Answer your research question. _________________ __________________
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2) Argument/Example #1-Paragraph #2
a) Describe the first example you plan to use to support your claim. _______________________
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b) What evidence supports this example? (Direct quote with author name/source description)
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___________________________________________Author/Source:_______________________
c) Commentary: Explain how this evidence supports your reasoning.________________________
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3) Counter-Argument/Opposing example #1-Paragraph #3
a) State the counterclaim. This should contradict or go against Argument/Reason #1.
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b) What evidence supports this reason? (Direct quote with author name/source description).
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___________________________________________Author/Source: ______________________
c) Commentary: State how this evidence/information is flawed or why it is not as important as
your claim._____________________________________________________________________
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4) Argument/Example #2-Paragraph #4
a) Describe the second example you plan to use to support your claim. ______________________
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b) What evidence supports this example? (Direct quote with author name/source) _____________
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___________________________________________Author/Source: _____________________
c) Commentary: Explain how this evidence supports your reasoning_______________________
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5) Conclusion-Paragraph #5
a) Summarize your main two examples. ______________________________________________
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b) Reiterate why your perspective is the best answer to the question. ______________________
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Synthesis Paper Review Sheet:
_______ means it was done well=A/B quality work
_______ means it has some work to be done-see comments=C quality work
_______ means it has A LOT of work to be done-see comments & ask for help! = D/F quality
REVIEWED ITEMS:
_____ MLA Header/title/etc
Introductory Paragraph:
_____ Introduction of topic engaging, informative and enough information to open the paper (Sent #1-4/4ish)
_____ Claim statement is arguable, clear and concise. (Sent #4 or 5)
Body Paragraph One: (ARGUMENT) 5-7 sentences
______Topic sentence introduces the focus of the paragraph and supports the argument made with the claim
statement.
______Evidence is included, fits with topic, supports the claim AND is given citation.
_____ Commentary and analysis provided after the evidence adds new information and insight on argument. It
ensures the reader knows WHY the writer used the evidence they did within this paragraph.
Body Paragraph Two: (COUNTER ARGUMENT) 5-7 sentences
______Topic sentence introduces the focus of the paragraph and DISAGREES with the argument made with the claim
statement.
______Evidence is included, fits with topic, supports the claim AND is given citation.
_____ Commentary and analysis provided after the evidence adds new information and insight on argument. It
ensures the reader knows WHY the writer used the evidence they did within this paragraph.
Body Paragraph Three: (ARGUMENT) 5-7 sentences
______Topic sentence introduces the focus of the paragraph and supports the argument made with the claim
statement.
______Evidence is included, fits with topic, supports the claim AND is given citation.
_____ Commentary and analysis provided after the evidence adds new information and insight on argument. It
ensures the reader knows WHY the writer used the evidence they did within this paragraph.
Conclusion: 3-5 sentences
______ Restates the main argument without being repetitive.
______ Creates a finished feeling for the paper.
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Writing Goals:
Claim:
#1: Write a claim to support an argument developed through the analysis of given texts.
#2: Maintain focus on the written claim that supports an argument developed through the
analysis of given texts.
Use of Evidence:
#3: Incorporate valid reasoning and relevant and sufficient evidence to support a claim or
counterclaim.
#4: Incorporate valid reasoning and relevant and sufficient evidence to support a claim or
counterclaim while attending to proper in text citation.
Commentary & Analysis:
#5: Commentary effectively clarifies the relationships between claim and evidence while helping
the reader understand how the evidence sufficiently supports the claim.
Counterclaim:
#6: Effectively establishes a counterclaim that is in alternate point of view and/or in
contradiction with the claim statement.
#7: Commentary effectively clarifies the relationships between counterclaim and evidence while
helping the reader understand how the evidence, while in support of the counterclaim, is not
effective support of the claim. Includes effective denial of counterclaim.
Other:
#8: Use an organizational structure that establishes a claim and allows for the evidence and
commentary to develop the given claim.
#9: Writing makes use of transitional phrases and strong word choice to link the major sections
of the text, create cohesion, and understanding.
#10: Establish and maintain a formal style and objective tone.
#11: Provide a conclusion that follows from and supports the argument presented.
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22nd Amendment Essay Review:
Personal Goal #1:
Copy entire goal from front side here:
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Copy the sentence(s) from your paper that exemplifies the need for this goal. Copy it as is:
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Revise this piece of your paper to the best of your ability below. Use feedback on your paper,
review sheet, and scoring guide to help you.
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Check in with Durnal for her review. Revise per her feedback below.
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Research Essay Goal Sheet:
Personal Goal #1: Mark with RED
A. Copy entire goal from front side here:
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B. Underline the portion(s) of your paper that indicate the need for this goal in RED.
C. Make corrections on your paper that you believe will address this goal and improve this piece
of your writing. You may rewrite on a separate sheet of paper if you wish to do so.
Teacher Goal #1: Already highlighted on your essay
A. Copy the entire goal from front side here:
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B. Make corrections on your paper that you believe will address this goal and improve this piece
of your writing. You may rewrite on a separate sheet of paper if you wish to do so.
Teacher Goal #2: Already highlighted on your essay
A. Copy the entire goal from front side here:
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
B. Make corrections on your paper that you believe will address this goal and improve this piece
of your writing. You may rewrite on a separate sheet of paper if you wish to do so.
Revision Details:
A. Resubmit original paper with Durnal Feedback on paper and feedback sheet.
B. Submit this page as well as any corrections written (if you used separate paper).
C. Print a clean, revised copy of your essay to submit.
D. Revision work due by Monday, November 30th 3:15pm.
E. If you choose NOT to revise-you will resubmit items A and B on or before November
30th.
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