Graduate Student Writing Studio
Writing Tip #7
Writing Concisely
Introduction
The goal of most writing is to let the reader know what you are thinking as precisely and as
clearly as possible. One way to write clearly is to write concisely by 1) being specific and
concrete, 2) eliminating words you don’t need, and 3) using the active voice.
Be Specific and Concrete
The best way to engage your readers and keep their attention is to be specific, definite and
concrete. For example:
Abstract: A period of unfavorable weather set in.
Concrete: It rained every day for a week.
Abstract: The program is designed to . . .
Concrete: The program will . . .
From the exercise below:
Abstract: In the present paper I propose to deal with . . .
Concrete: In this paper I discuss . . .
Eliminate Words You Don’t Need
These can be:
Words that carry little, if any, meaning:
kind of
actually
particularly
really
virtually
College of Education Writing Studio
Phone: 277.0466
E-mail: [email protected]
2 | Writing Concisely
generally
practically
Redundant Phrases
Redundant
Better
end result
result
classroom environment classroom
completely finish
finish (or complete)
basic fundamentals
fundamentals
very crucial
crucial
past history
history
future plans
plans
personal beliefs
beliefs
very unique
unique
each individual
each (or individual)
Wordy Phrases
Wordy
Better
despite the fact that
although
due to the fact that
because
prior to
before
a majority of
most
along the lines of
like
come to a conclusion
conclude
during that time
while
at the present time
now
College of Education Writing Studio
Phone: 277.0466
E-mail: [email protected]
3 | Writing Concisely
Active Voice
Using the active voice usually means you will use fewer words. For example:
Passive: A decision was made by the dean (7 words).
Active: The dean made a decision (5 words).
Passive: The clothes were worn by Susan (6 words).
Active: Susan wore the clothes (4 words).
For more information on the Active Voice see our pamphlet Writing Tip # 6.
Exercise
The following paragraph contains 103 words. Rewrite it accurately so it is as concise as possible.
You should be able to do this using fewer than half the words of the original.
In the present paper I propose to deal with one type of interdisciplinary curriculum, which can
be built upon material borrowed from related departments, whether or not the specialists in
these related departments choose to teach the interdisciplinary offering so constructed. By
this remark I am recognizing the fact that occasionally a generalist who does not hold a Ph.D.
in any of the specialized fields that have made a contribution to the construction of such
interdisciplinary course offering may be the one to take on the responsibility for teaching the
courses so constructed, rather than a specialist from one of the contributing areas.
You can find one possible answer that uses only 41 words on the next page.
College of Education Writing Studio
Phone: 277.0466
E-mail: [email protected]
4 | Writing Concisely
One Answer to Exercise
In this paper I discuss an interdisciplinary curriculum that uses material from related fields. In
particular, I explore the reality that the curriculum may be taught by a generalist who does not
hold a Ph.D. in any of the specialized fields.
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College of Education Writing Studio
Phone: 277.0466
E-mail: [email protected]