D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Fishbowl Theory
Art By Ivan Luna
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Copyrighted 2012 © by David Allen Collinsworth.
No portion of this book or book cover may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted
in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy without express permission and/or
consent of David Allen Collinsworth.
D. A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Second Edition 2012
Rev 5
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Fishbowl Theory: An inanimate object cannot create an
animated object.
No more can an inanimate Fishbowl create animated
Fish without first having outside influences, than can an
inanimate Universe (or a void) create animated Life
without first having outside influences also.
I believe it is impossible for life to have emerged
spontaneously from within an inanimate lifeless void (like
our own Universe) without first having outside influences
(external in nature to the inanimate space within) that
would initiate the process of bringing life into existence.
A process that would lead from the design and initiation,
to the structure and regulation and ultimately to the
sustainability of life itself.
Thus, I propose that in order for life to have existed in
our Universe, it must have had outside influences for that
life to have been initiated and generated in our Universe
(or our fishbowl).
-David Allen Collinsworth 2011
?
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
The arms and hands of the Captain’s white coat
appear.…..
He reaches over
and picks up a
silver canister.
The label on the
container reads
"Goldfish Food."
The Captain says
with a smile…
“Good morning, my little
fishies… it's time for
breakfast.” Gently the
Captain sprinkles in a
pinch of flakes from the
container and replaces
the lid…
Looking closely,
the Captain leans
down and peers
into his fishbowl
…He watches as
our story starts
to unfold inside.
“Hey...”, he asks,
“What are you
guys doing in
there?”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Once upon a time, in a little Fishbowl, there
was a little goldfish. A very smart little goldfish.
Her name was Gracie Little. And Gracie was a
straight “A” student at Scales School for Little
Fishy Academy. Well, she was a straight “A”
student...until one day her teacher taught a
lesson that she didn’t quite agree with.
That lesson her teacher taught would change
Gracie's perspective of her fishbowl world
forever and send Gracie on an adventure to
discover the true meaning of life in her
fishbowl.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Don’t question Ms. Fishbottom’s lesson…
or you’re going to get an F !”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
F
irst period bell for Scales Academy School sounded.
The little fish students quickly entered Ms. Fishbottom’s classroom as
their teacher, Ms. Fishbottom, was getting ready to start her class.
Ms. Fishbottom turned and tapped her ruler on her desk, saying,
“Okay class, let’s sit down, please, and pass up your homework from
last night.”
As the students passed forward their papers, Ms. Fishbottom reached
down into her desk and pulled out some freshly graded papers from
yesterday’s quiz. She began to hand them out one desk at a time,
saying, “And here is your Algae Science Test results. Some of you
passed, while others of you… well, let’s just say, don’t make any plans
for the summer.”
Ms. Fishbottom made her way through the room until she finally
reached Gracie Little’s desk. Stopping, she smiled proudly; “Gracie
Little, once again you get the Goldfish Star of Achievement Award,
because you have once again made the highest score in the class.
Congratulations! Here is your paper.”
A smile came on Gracie Little's face as she retrieved her paper from
Ms. Fishbottom, saying, “Thank you, Ms. Fishbottom.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
From the corner of the classroom, the boys in the Fish Boy Gang sat
and snickered at their desks. Bobby, the leader of the Fish Boy Gang,
whispered just loud enough that Ms. Fishbottom wouldn’t hear him,
“Whoooaaaa, surprise, surprise. Nerd Fish got the highest grade in the
class… YET AGAIN!”
The other members of the Fish Boy Gang started giggling.
Hearing them, Gracie Little turned around to Bobby and whispered,
“Shut up, Bobby. You’re just jealous because I’m smarter then you and
you have a fish brain… the size of a… of a Sardine.”
Bobby, shocked by Gracie's lame attempt at an insult, started to
laugh even louder. “Ohhh, wow! Snappy comeback, Squid Face!”
Gracie retaliated, “Blow Fish!”
Bobby fired back. “Whale Blubber Mouth!”
Gracie stuttered, thinking, thinking, and then said, “Jelly! Jelly! Jelly
Belly, Smelly Head!”
Bobby snickered at Gracie's yet again lame attempt. “Man! You are
soooo… soooo bad at comebacks!”
Ms. Fishbottom, hearing the ruckus, blurted out, “That will be
enough, class, or there will be detention for everyone! Do I make
myself clear?”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
The whole class responded in perfect, disciplined, harmony. “YES,
MS. FISHBOTTOM.”
Bobby waited for Ms. Fishbottom to turn back around before he
whispered back at Gracie, “Don’t let me catch you outside of class
alone, nerd fish. ‘Cause you’re going to get it if I do.”
Ms. Fishbottom finished writing on the chalkboard before she
opened her teacher’s handbook to begin her lesson,
“Okay class, today we will be learning about the ‘Fishbowl to
Goldfish’ Evolution Theory. Everyone should have read this chapter
last night. So, who here can tell me what the Fishbowl to Goldfish
Evolution Theory is…?”
Only Gracie's fin went up. She frantically stretched it up high in the
air trying to get Ms. Fishbottom’s attention.
Ms. Fishbottom looked around the room. Seeing no other
volunteers, she finally picked Gracie. “Okay, yes, Gracie?”
Gracie got up and said proudly, “It is the Theory that everything in
our fishbowl was created by the fishbowl itself. Thus, the fishbowl
started all life… and then nurtured life so that we, the goldfish, could
evolve inside the fishbowl… and ummm, through the Laws that are
governing the fishbowl itself.”
Ms. Fishbottom wrote Gracie's answer on the chalkboard as Gracie
gave it, “Very Good, Gracie. The theory that everything in our fishbowl
was created by the fishbowl is the right answer…”
Bobby and the Fish Boy Gang snorted underneath their breath,
“Dork fish… Dork fish… Dork fish…”
Gracie heard the boys but this time she ignored them. There was
something more pressing on her mind. She lifted her fin yet again to
ask Ms. Fishbottom an important question. “Ms. Fishbottom, Ms.
Fishbottom, I have a question about the Fishbowl to Goldfish
Theory...”
“Ooooh, here we go again.” Bobby grumbled, looking at the other
boys. “Another one of nerd fish’s questions.”
The Fish Boy Gang burst out in laughter.
Ms. Fishbottom looked over towards the corner of the room.
“Bobby Cork! One more outburst from you like that… and you will
have so much detention that your grandchildren’s children will still be
stuck in detention. Now, be quiet!”
Bobby sat frozen like a statue at his desk, while Ms. Fishbottom
stared him down, saying to Gracie out of the side of her mouth, “Okay,
yes, Gracie, what is your question?”
Gracie was smirking at Bobby’s predicament as she tried to ask with
a straight face, “Yes, thank you, Ms. Fishbottom. I was wondering how
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
exactly was life created out of the fishbowl? I mean, the fishbowl itself
isn’t alive, is it? So, then, how can something that is not alive know
how to create something that is living?"
Gracie thought for a moment and then added, “And it’s kinda strange
if you think about it. That life came out of something that is not alive,
FOR NO REASON AT ALL!"
Gracie went on, thinking even harder...
“I mean, why was life created? Because, if there is no meaning to
life...No reason for life, then it just seems like one big waste of time. It
all just seems so weird to me.”
At first, Ms. Fishbottom was a little overwhelmed by the
insightfulness of young Gracie’s questions. “Well, Gracie,” she tried to
sound confident, “it’s a complicated process for goldfish actually to
come from the fishbowl… It’s all about single-celled organisms, amino
acids and millions of years of evolution. But Gracie, I can assure you
that WE, the goldfish, came from the fishbowl and not from somewhere
else… There have been a lot of studies conducted on the Fishbowl to
GoldFish Evolution Theory and a lot of our greatest, most prominent
and highly intellectual scientific minds have all agreed that life started
here inside our fishbowl... And we should believe our Scientists…
They know what’s right.”
Adding to her argument, Ms. Fishbottom held up the classroom
science textbook for all to see and she smiled, “Besides, that’s why
they put it in the textbook. And if it’s in our textbooks, then you can be
assured… that it has to be fact. ”
“I understand that, Ms. Fishbottom.” Gracie replied timidly, “But
what if the textbook answer doesn’t make any sense? I mean, just to
say something intelligent, like life, came out of something that has NO
intelligence at all… seems a little weird to me.” Gracie laughed
nervously at her own observation.
Getting a tad frustrated with Gracie’s challenging questions; Ms.
Fishbottom guaranteed Gracie and all of the students one last time, “I
can assure you that the Fishbowl to Goldfish Evolution Theory is
correct. Like I said, a lot of brilliant minds created this theory… and
that is why we believe it and…that is why we are going to learn about it
today in our class. Now let’s move on.”
“But Ms. Fishbottom,” Gracie interjected, “You never really
answered my core question. How does something that is not alive know
how to create life?”
Ms. Fishbottom quickly spun around with an angry stare. “Gracie,
be quiet or you will get an F on today’s lesson! You are now starting to
interrupt my class time!”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“But, you can’t give me an F on the lesson if YOU can’t answer my
questions about the lesson, can you?” Gracie protested.
Ms. Fishbottom replied harshly, “Gracie, I can give you an F and you
will get an F if you don’t be quiet!”
But Gracie just couldn’t let go of the argument. “But that’s not fair,
Ms. Fishbottom!” she said out loud in front of everyone.
Ms. Fishbottom, having enough of Gracie’s defiance, said, “Very
well, Gracie Little, you get an F on today’s lesson. Now go back to
your desk or you will get detention as well!”
The class responded with a low, pronounced, “Ooooo,” for this was
Gracie Little’s first ever F grade.
Bobby and the rest of his Fish Boy Gang chuckled underneath their
breath. “Oops,” Bobby whispered to the other boys, “there goes
Gracie’s perfect grade point average…”
Gracie, looking around embarrassed, swam quietly to her desk and
said nothing the rest of the class as Ms. Fishbottom told the class to
open their text books to chapter 19, on page 72, and started teaching
about the Fishbowl to Goldfish Evolution Theory.
Later that afternoon the bell rang, indicating the end of Ms.
Fishbottom’s class period. As all of the students gathered their things,
Ms. Fishbottom reminded them that next week there would be a quiz on
today’s lesson and they should study.
Gracie was the last to leave the room. She swam slowly up to Ms.
Fishbottom’s desk.
With a sad face, Gracie asked, “Ms. Fishbottom, can I speak with
you for a moment?”
Ms. Fishbottom reluctantly closed her grade book and nodded her
head in approval.
Gracie continued, “Ms. Fishbottom, I’m truly sorry for the way I
acted earlier. But I really can’t have an F on my record. It would ruin
my grade point average and I won’t be able to get into Aqua State
University. Please, is there anything I can do to get rid of that bad
mark?”
Ms. Fishbottom breathed in deeply. “Look, Gracie,” she said, “you
are a good student. In fact you are the best student I have in my class.
But sometimes, Gracie, you ask way too many silly questions. You
need to learn that… you can’t question everything. Some things… can
only be understood by the experts who have had years of training to
understand their subject.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Adjusting her glasses, Ms. Fishbottom thought for a second. “I’ll tell
you what. I will give you a chance to get rid of that F grade. I will let
you write me a five-page report on today’s lesson about How Life
began in our Fishbowl …But I’ll need it turned in no later than
Monday morning. If you do this, I will seriously consider removing the
F grade off your record.”
Gracie smiled, happy about the decision.
“But,” Ms. Fishbottom noted, “I won’t make this easy for you,
though. You will have to go out and research the Fishbowl to Goldfish
Evolution Theory and footnote all your findings in your report. Maybe
this assignment will help you understand that the Meaning of Life can
only be answered by science and logical reasoning.”
Ms. Fishbottom wrote down an address and handed it to Gracie. “I
want you to start with a friend of mine… a professor at the college. His
name is Dr. C. M. Fins. He is actually one of the many scientists who
helped create the Fishbowl to Goldfish Evolution Theory. He will be
able to give you good insight on the study itself. Okay?”
Ms. Fishbottom then looked down to finish her own paperwork
while saying, “Gracie, I expect quality work from you. This needs to
be a report worthy of an A. Do you understand?”
Gracie nodded happily, “Yes, Ms. Fishbottom, I do. And thank you
very much for the opportunity… I won’t let you down.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
With that, Gracie headed out on her way to an
adventure to discover the truth… But as she swam
along, she didn’t know where that truth would take
her… For in looking for that truth, what she would
find, would take her into a world that would question
the very Meaning of Life itself …as she knew it.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Dr. C. M. Fins …the smartest fish in the
fishbowl”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
G
racie Little swam up to the scientific laboratory for the Goldfish
Biological Studies. Dr. C.M. Fins’ name was plastered on the wall on a
silver plaque next to the front door. Gracie went inside. She looked
around, calling out to see if anyone was there. “Dr. C. M. Fins. Hello,
Dr. Fins! Is anyone here?”
Suddenly, Gracie heard the sound of metal falling and glass
breaking, followed by the sound of someone’s voice arguing with
himself. The noises could be heard coming from the back room. It was
the Doctor and it seemed as though Gracie’s little unexpected visit had
interrupted one of his very important experiments. “Yes! Yes! Who’s
there?” the Doctor’s voice called out from the back of the Laboratory.
“Ummm, my name is Gracie Little, sir. Ms. Fishbottom said I
needed to come and speak to you about something very important. It’s
for a report I’m doing for my class at my school about the Meaning of
Life… in our fishbowl.”
More sounds of pans crashing could be heard...
Gracie called out, “Ummm, I came to ask you about the Meaning of
Life here in our fishbowl.”
Suddenly the sounds stopped. From out of the back door appeared a
fish in a white coat. It was Dr. C.M. Fins. The Doctor adjusted his
black-rimmed glasses and looked at the little fish who was in his lab
before asking, “I’m sorry, but did you say you wanted to know about
the Meaning of Life here in our fishbowl?”
Gracie, a little nervous, answered, “Yes Doctor, I am writing a report
on the Fishbowl to Goldfish Evolution Theory. I would like to know
the Meaning of Life if you can help me. It’s for my class. I just need
to ask a few questions.”
The Doctor once again adjusted his glasses and then went over and
pretended to be busy at his lab table, “I’m sorry,” he said, “but I don’t
have time to answer childish questions like that. I’m a very busy fish…
I have a lot of important experiments going on right now, as we speak.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Childish question?!” Gracie said, a little offended. “But Doctor,
what is so childish about wanting to know why we ALL exist here in
our fishbowl? I mean, I would think that you of all fish would want to
know the answer to that question, wouldn’t you?”
The Doctor laughed at Gracie’s reply. “Yes, well of course, but the
very question itself is complicated. There’s a lot of hypothetical
thinking and mathematical equations. …And besides you’re way too
young to grasp the complexity of the question anyway. Now I really
need to get back to work.”
“Doctor,” Gracie said sternly, “I can assure you that I am not too
young. I have a straight A grade point average in my class and over
one hundred Gold Fish Achievement awards. So please, Doctor, if you
would be so kind, I would like to ask you a few questions that I need
for my report. It will only take a few minutes, Sir.”
The Doctor, feeling like Gracie Little was not going to leave until
she got what she came for, sighed, “Over a hundred Gold Fish
Achievement awards, you said? That is ten more than what I got. Well
then, very well, you have ten minutes.”
Gracie nodded, pulling out her pad and paper and began to write,
“Okay, thank you, Doctor. First question! How is life able to survive
in our fishbowl?”
“Well, let’s see,” Dr. Fins said thinking very hard about the question.
“Our studies have shown that the fishbowl is favorable for the creation
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
and sustainability of life. We Scientists call this environment the
Goldie Locks-Fish Field of Survivability Equation.” The Doctor began
to write out equations on his chalkboard.
“You see,” he said, “everything is just right for life to exist here in
our fishbowl. The fishbowl is subsequently at the right temperature,
the right oxygen level and the right environmental equilibrium to
sustain life. Our environment is perfectly balanced for us goldfish to
survive and thrive in.”
Gracie interrupted, “Well, what would happen if, you know…
everything was not in balance?”
Dr. Fins laughed nervously. “Well, if the temperature of our water
was just off by a few degrees or say, our oxygen levels varied below
our needs …by just a fraction, well then, none of us goldfish would be
here. We would be dead or worse… we would never have existed in
the first place.”
Gracie seemed to be a little set back by the Doctor’s response as she
wrote his answer down in her notes. “Wow,” she said. “Okay, my next
question. Ummm, where does our food come from?”
“Well,” Dr. Fins laughed, “That question is a little more
complicated. We are still trying to wrap our minds around the origins
of the nourishment that we receive every day. But we have theorized
that there is some kind of Brown Matter that comes from outside our
fishbowl’s atmosphere and seeps in through our watery environment.
Our studies have shown…that this Brown Matter (as we call it) must be
interacting with our H20 environment, causing some kind of molecular
fusion to take place, which then in turn causes the Brown Matter
substance to turn into what we call FISH FOOD.” The Doctor seemed
unsure about his theory, laughing off his limited explanation. “But
we’re still trying to work out all the little details.”
Seeming a little unconvinced, Gracie wrote down the Doctor’s
information anyway. “Okay, okay,” she recounted. “So, the fishbowl
can sustain life and we are getting our fish food from an outside source
called Brown Matter.” She took a moment to look over her notes
before asking, “Okay then, next question. Where did life come from? I
mean, where did it all get started …here in our fishbowl?”
A smile appeared on Dr. Fins face, “Well, most scientists believe
that all fish life started here in the fishbowl, maybe from something as
simple as a single-celled organism and then eventually we evolved after
millions of years into the fish we are today. We call it survival of the
fittest. See, only the strongest species survives and reproduces.”
Puffing up his chest, the Doctor smiled. “We Goldfish have
conquered our environment to become the masters of the fishbowl that
we are today. …But, to explain the origins of life itself or how that life
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
began. Well, some of us scientists have built a theory that life must
have started from the crystal rocks below us.”
Excited, the Doctor turned and grabbed a very small yellow rock off
his table and showed it to Gracie. “See,” he said, “Look here. See this
little rock? This little rock proves that we (fish) must have been rocks at
one point.” The Doctor pointed with his fin. “See, it’s gold just like
us, and it kind of looks like a little fish, too! So, we must have come
from rocks!” The Doctor turned and gently laid the rock back down on
his desk, saying, “…This little rock has truly been the greatest scientific
find of my career!”
Gracie looked at the little rock, confused before saying, “Okay, so
you’re saying all fish came from rocks. So, I guess that means that the
Fishbowl to Gold Fish Evolution Theory must be scientific FACT then,
right, Doctor?”
“Oh, no, no.” the Doctor corrected her, “All of this is still just
theoretical. I mean, we still have a lot of rocks we have yet to discover.
And a lot more testing still to do, but the Fishbowl to Goldfish
Evolution Model is a very exciting theory in explaining how all Fish
appeared here in the fishbowl.”
Gracie, now more confused than ever, asked. “So you’re saying that
what we are learning in school has not been proven to be a fact yet, but
we are learning it anyway?”
“Yes,” the Doctor smiled. “That’s why they call it a theory.”
Gracie, baffled… wrote down a few more notes before asking her
next question. “Okay, then. Say, Doctor, that the theory is true, then
why did we evolve from rocks in the first place?”
Dr. Fins, not expecting that question, turned slowly, “Excuse me?”
Gracie asked the question again. “Well, I mean, why would life
come out of a rock and want to evolve if, say, in the end there is no real
meaning to LIFE itself? And why would the fishbowl create fish and
sustain life if there is no meaning to life here in the fishbowl?”
With a nervous smile, Dr. Fins stuttered through his answer. “Well,
the fishbowl is governed by scientific laws. The RULES of our
environment are why it created and sustains life. The Rules are what
make all these amazing and wonderful things happen, such as LIFE.”
Gracie nodded and wrote the Doctor’s answer down before asking,
“Okay then. Who made all the Rules?”
Dr. Fins looked at Gracie with a confused look on his face.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” he said.
“Well,” Gracie said, “Who made all of the Rules? You know, who
wrote the rules? The rules have to come from someone, right? I mean
in our class, my teacher makes the rules for the class so we will know
how to obey in her class and work together and not get into trouble. So
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
who wrote the rules for the fishbowl? You know, so that Life would
know how to obey and grow?”
Dr. Fins was now getting visibly frustrated with the little fish’s
questions. “Well, I guess,” he said, “I guess the rules made themselves!
I don’t know.” He picked up his clipboard and pretended to read from
it.
Gracie, glancing at her notes, said, “So, if WE don’t know who
wrote the rules for the fishbowl, then WE don’t know if there really is
Meaning to Life or not then, right?”
Dr. Fins, angrily answered, “Well, No! I mean, Yes! I mean, I guess
we are just ALL very, very LUCKY to be here in our fishbowl.”
Gracie couldn’t help but giggle at the doctor’s choice of words.
“Lucky?” She said smiling, “No, offence, Doctor, but I don’t think that
the word Lucky sounds like a very scientific term to me.”
Dr. Fins went quiet, thinking about Gracie’s comment.
Collecting her stuff, Gracie got ready to leave. “Well, thank you for
your time, Doctor,” she said, “But, just between you and me. I think
science is smart enough to answer HOW our fishbowl works, but I
don’t think science can answer the question of WHY the fishbowl
works.”
Dr. Fins said nothing, but just sat there at his desk, thinking about the
words spoken in their conversation.
Before leaving the laboratory, Gracie turned one last time and said,
“You know, Doctor, you seem like a very smart goldfish to me. Maybe
you should start researching the question of “WHO WROTE THE
RULES for the fishbowl?” Then maybe one day they can put it in our
textbooks at our schools and we can learn about that.” With those
words Gracie left Dr. Fin’s Laboratory.
Sadly, Gracie didn’t find the answers she was looking
for at Dr. Fins’ lab. But she wasn’t going to give up
that easy… She decided to go see the next smartest
fish in the fishbowl.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Mayor Arney Sandcastle teaches us about the
faith it takes to Not Believe”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
F
ish Bowl City Hall. Mayor’s office. 5:00 pm. Camera-fish
were standing all around the room, taking flashes of pictures of Mayor
Arney Sandcastle as he gave his daily State of the Union Fish Bowl
address. Gracie swam over, trying to see through the madhouse of
reporters and camera-fish to see the mayor. She hoped to speak to him
if she could only just get his attention. “Mayor! Mayor!” Gracie called
out above the chatter, “Excuse me, Mayor Arney, can I speak to you for
a moment?”
“Oh, hello,” said Mayor Arney, as he noticed the little fish in the
back, raising her fin. “Look, one of our fine and upstanding students
from the Scales Academy is here with us today. What can I do for you,
my little fish?”
“Hello Mayor,” Gracie responded with a smile. “My name is Gracie
Little and I am doing a report for my class and I was just wondering if I
could ask you a few questions.”
Looking at the camera fish and reporters all around him, the Mayor
made sure that they were paying close attention as he said, “Sure!
Anything to expand and inspire the young minds of our youth of today.
These are truly the fish of tomorrow.”
“Mayor,” yelled out one of the camera fish, “Can we get a picture of
you and the student for the upcoming article about your Bill for the No
Little Fish Left behind Education Initiative!”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Mayor Arney happily obliged, waving Gracie over to come stand
next to him for the photo op. “Sure, anything for my constituents.
Come on, Gracie Little, let’s give them a few cover shots for the
headlines.”
Shyly, Gracie swam over and the camera fish took pictures of her
standing beside the Mayor.
After a few shots, Mayor Arney held up his fin, informing everyone,
“Okay, guys, let’s put a wrap on this for today. I have more
appointments on my schedule. We can pick this up where we left off
this time tomorrow.”
The reporters and camera fish begin to pack up their stuff and swim
away, leaving Gracie and the Mayor behind to talk. Mayor Arney
swam around to his desk and began to look over his daily agenda.
“So, Mayor,” Gracie asked, catching his attention, “If you have just a
moment?”
“Oh, yes, sure,” the Mayor said, having already forgotten that Gracie
was still there. “I have a few minutes before my next meeting. What
can I do for you, ummm, ummm...” The Mayor tried unsuccessfully to
remember Gracie’s name.
Gracie reminded him, “It’s Gracie, sir. My name is Gracie Little,
remember?”
“Oh, yes, Gracie Little. What can I do for you today, Gracie Little?”
Gracie smiled, “Yes, well, like I said earlier, I am doing a report for
my class and I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions?”
Mayor Arney picked up some papers off of his desk, reading over
them while drinking a cup of coffee, at the same time saying, “Yes,
sure, go ahead.”
“Okay.” Gracie pulled out her note pad and pen. “Well, sir, you
seem like a very intelligent fish. So I was wondering, could you tell
me… what is the meaning of Life here in our fishbowl?”
Upon hearing the question, The Mayor spat out some of his coffee,
almost choking. “Oh wow, excuse me,” he said wiping away the drips
on his chin, “…I thought you were going to ask me a political question
like Fish Voter Rights or Global Fishbowl Warming.”
Gracie smiled, “Nope, I was just wondering what is the meaning of
life here in our fishbowl.”
Seeing the seriousness on Gracie’s face, Mayor Arney changed his
tone. “Oh, oh, okay. Well, I see you’re not kidding.” The Mayor put
his papers and coffee cup down and slipped into his more serious
political speech mode. “Well, Gracie,” he said, “the meaning of life
here in our great fishbowl is for fish of all kinds to unite together in
22
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
peace and harmony; thus, uniting our civilization in harmony and
peace, so that we can all live together in harmony and live together in
peace at the same time.”
Glancing over to see if Gracie had been writing his words down, the
Mayor asked, “Did you get all that?”
Gracie said, “Well… yes. I mean no… I mean… that’s not actually
what I was asking.” Gracie then elaborated, “What I meant to say sir,
was why are WE all here in this fishbowl? You know, all of us. Why
are we here?”
Mayor Arney thought about it for a moment and then said, “Oh, I see
where you’re going. You mean the crazy-spiritual-magical question of
the meaning of life in the fishbowl. With all that, we are all here for a
divine purpose kind of thing. Put here to serve the Almighty and
Powerful Captain who created the fishbowl and all that is in it, blahblah-blah, stuff.”
Something the Mayor said caught Gracie’s attention, “I’m sorry, but
did you just say something about a Captain? Who is the All- Powerful
Captain?”
Mayor Arney smirked while he tried to explain. “Yes, yes, it’s this
old outdated teaching about how there was a ‘Creator’ who created our
fishbowl and all the life in it. See, there are those fish out there that
believe in this silly idea that there is this ‘All-Powerful Captain’ who
created our Fishbowl that we live in. They believe that HE put the first
Goldfish in the fishbowl. Oh, and they also believe that The Captain is
watching over us (right now), taking care of us from somewhere
outside our fishbowl. It’s all a bunch of religious nonsense.”
“Wow!” Gracie said, in disbelief. “I’ve never heard of that before. I
mean, we have never learned anything about the Captain in school or
anything like that.”
“And you won’t!” Mayor Arney exclaimed, “Not as long as I am
Mayor of this fishbowl. Because it’s all ridiculous nonsense! It’s just
fairytales. There is no Captain watching over our Fishbowl. We are a
civilized society. We can’t be teaching our children about myths in
their classrooms. That would just be silly.”
“So,” Gracie asked, “You don’t believe in the Captain story at all?”
“Of course I don’t believe in that stuff,” Mayor Arney barked, “And
could you imagine what would happen to my political career if my
constituents found out that I believed in some kind of Almighty
Captain? I would be laughed right out of office. I would never be able
to be reelected again. My career would be over.” The Mayor laughed
off the idea.
Gracie asked, “But Mayor, how can you be so sure that there really
isn’t a Captain who made the fishbowl?”
23
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Because, Gracie…” the Mayor said calmly and professionally, “We
are an educated society. We don’t believe in fairytales or creation
stories. And we don’t believe in an All-Powerful Captain. We believe
in ourselves… in our own intellectual thinking… in our own personal
ingenuity… and most importantly… we believe in our own destiny
here in our fishbowl.”
Gracie said, thinking out loud, “But Mayor, what if there was a
Captain… and what if HE did put us all here, then wouldn’t that mean
that we have a purpose for being here?”
The Mayor just snickered at the idea…
Gracie began to pack up her note pad, saying, “Maybe if I can find
this Captain, then maybe he can give me the answer to the Meaning of
Life.”
Mayor Arney chuckled at her. “Gracie, there is no meaning to life…
because there is no Captain.”
Gracie turned back to ask him, “But Mayor, how do you know for
sure?”
Mayor Arney laughed, “Because, Gracie, there’s no scientific proof
that a Captain exists.”
Gracie, remembering her last meeting with Doc Fins, said, “But there
is no scientific proof that the Captain doesn’t exist, right?
Mayor Arney chuckled again, “Well, no, I guess not, but...”
“So, then…” Gracie interrupted, “How can you be so sure that a
Captain doesn’t exist, then?”
Mayor Arney looked visibly irritated. “Well, Gracie,” He tried to
explain, “I guess that’s just what I believe.”
“Hmmm, that’s funny,” Gracie noted.
“What’s funny?” the Mayor asked her, confused.
“Well,” Gracie said, “It’s just that you said earlier that how other
fishes believed …was silly to you. But, how do you know, what you
believe is not just as silly …until you really know the facts yourself?”
Mayor Sandcastle went silent with that question.
Gracie picked up her stuff and prepared to leave. “You know,
Mayor.” Gracie said as she put her note pad away, “It sounds like to me
that you have to have just as much FAITH to not believe …as you do
to believe.”
Well,” she said, ready to leave, “Thank you for your time, sir. And
good luck on you next reelection.”
24
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Gracie didn’t find her answer there either. She knew
at that point that science and social politics were not
going to give her the answer she was looking for… but
she did have an idea of who she could talk to next…
25
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Reverend Coral C. Reef wants me to do the
Song and Dance!”
26
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
A
s evening fell, Gracie made her way through the murky waters of
the fishbowl until she finally saw the lights of the stained glass
windows appear out of the darkness. She thought to herself that this
must be the place that she had been looking for. The place was called
the Eternal Bubble Glass Cathedral Church of the Golden Saints.
Gracie had heard about this place, but she had never seen it before.
The towering steeples and overshadowing gothic arches soared over the
landscape like a menacing castle sitting on the side of a hill. Gracie
looked over to see the front church sign which read, “Church Services
Sunday 10:00 am SHARP! ICE CREAM SOCIAL at 10:30 am
SHARP!”
She slowly swam up to the large wooden panel doors and gently
knocked on them. The sound of her knocks echoed throughout the
waters like the sound of banging on a large wooden box. Gracie waited
for a second and then leaned over and put her ear on the door. Inside
she could hear the harmonious sounds of chanting monk music coming
from within the Cathedral itself.
Suddenly, the door popped open, scaring Gracie almost out of her
fins. “Eeeeeeek!” she blurted out.
27
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
A large lady goldfish dressed in black and white clergy apparel
peered down at Gracie with a bothered look on her face and asked,
“Yesssss, can I help you?”
Gracie, still startled by the clergy fish dressed in black, tried to
regain her composure, “Yes, ummm, you must be Reverend Coral C.
Reef.”
The clergy fish said nothing but only nodded to indicate that she was
the goldfish that Gracie was looking for.
Gracie smiled nervously, “Yes. Well, I was wondering if I could ask
you a few questions for a report I am doing for my class?”
Reverend Coral C. Reef looked over Gracie suspiciously, saying, “I
don’t know. We have a very strict dress code here.”
Gracie looked herself over, not sure exactly what the Reverend had
meant by her comment, “Well…” she said, “this should only take a few
minutes. So please, it’s really important.”
Reverend Coral C. Reef sighed deeply before deciding to let Gracie
into the holy cathedral. “Very well, you may enter.”
Gracie smiled, “Thank you.”
But before Gracie could go through the doorway, the Reverend
yelled, “Halt!”
Gracie froze in place, not sure of what to do, “I’m sorry. Did I do
something wrong?” she asked apprehensively as she looked around to
see if she had broken or touched something.
Reverend Coral C. Reef sneered back at Gracie, “You may only
enter the Holy Ground if you cleanse yourself of all fishy sins and of all
worldly fishbowl impurities.”
Confused, Gracie questioned, “I’m, I’m sorry… what was that?”
The Reverend, annoyed that Gracie hadn’t understood her the first
time, repeated the rules for sanctification, “You may only enter the
Holy Ground if you cleanse yourself of all fishy sins and of all worldly
fishbowl impurities. If you want to enter into this Holy Church… you
must FIRST be clean in your spirit!”
“All right,” Gracie said slowly. “So how do I do that?”
Reverend Reef smirked, “You must spin around three times, saying
that you are a sinful fish. And then you must say the words, “Bubbly,
Bubbly, Bubbly, too! I want to be a clean fishy, made all new! And
then you must sing the word, AMEN…”
Gracie, now more confused than ever, questioned, “Really, what will
that do… if I do all that?”
Reverend Reef again sighed deeply, depressed at Gracie’s lack of
church etiquette and basic doctrinal ignorance, “It is the Law of our
Denomination of the Eternal Bubble Glass Cathedral Church. You must
do this holy dance so that you will be cleansed of your impurities.”
28
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Gracie, still confused, just said, “Okay…?” She then began to spin
around slowly, saying, “I’m a sinful fish… I’m a sinful fish. I’m a
sinful fish. Bubbly, Bubbly, Bubbly, too. I want to be a clean fishy,
made all new.” And then Gracie tried to sing, “Awww-man.”
“Stop! Stop! What are you doing?” Reverend Coral C. Reef
shouted, shaking her head in disgust. “You’re doing it all wrong. You
must do it with more excitement. More vigor, more passion!”
Reverend Coral then demonstrated the technique herself, spinning and
saying, “Like this! I’m a sinful fish! I’m a sinful fish! I’m a sinful
fish. Bubbly, Bubbly, Bubbly, too…. I want to be a clean fishy made
all new. And then, with her most holy voice the Reverend sang,
“Awwwwww-man.”
Gracie couldn’t help but laugh a little about how silly the song and
dance looked. “That’s funny” she chuckled inadvertently.
Reverend Reef stopped in the midst of her final spin, staring coldly
down at Gracie, “And what is so funny …about the HOLY DANCE?”
she asked sternly.
Gracie’s smile quickly faded. She began recanting her statement,
trying to explain. “Oh no, I was just saying, it looks kind of funny
with, you know, all the dancing and the chanting and everything. I
mean, how can doing all “that” clean you of your impurities and
everything?”
Reverend Reef looked offended. She said abruptly, “It just does!
Look, if you’re not going to do the cleansing dance, then I think you
should leave this Holy Ground immediately!”
Gracie quickly said, “Oh no, no. I’m sorry. I’ll do the song and
dance. I’ll do it.”
Gracie started spinning around in a circle again, saying the words,
“I’m a sinful fish! I’m a sinful fish! I’m a sinful fish. Bubbly, Bubbly,
Bubbly, too. I want to be a clean fishy made all new.” And then
Gracie tried to sing in her most holy tone, “Awww-man…” And then
after she was done Gracie looked over to the Reverend and asked,
“There, was that good enough?”
Reverend Reef sighed sadly, “I suppose it will have to do for now.
But you need more practice. I guess you may now enter into the Holy
Grounds.”
“Thank you,” Gracie smiled with a look of relief.
Reverend Reef said as she swam ahead of Gracie, “So, my child,
why have you come to the Bubble Glass Cathedral today?”
“Yes, ummm,” Gracie started, as she pulled out her note book and
pencil, “Well, I wanted to know if I could talk to The Captain? I heard
that you guys know Him and I thought maybe if He was here I could
speak to Him?”
29
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Reverend Reef paused and then chuckled, “You say, you wanted to
talk to The Captain?”
“Yes, if he’s here,” Gracie responded.
Reverend Coral C. Reef smirked, “Dear Fish Child, you can’t just ‘talk’
to the Captain.”
The Reverend then began to reminisce over her many years of being
the Clergy for the Bubble Glass Cathedral, saying, “I haven’t even
talked to the Captain yet. And I’ve had four years of Fish Seminary!
Hundreds of hours of Vision Fisheye Focus Classes and completed my
five hundred page dissertation on The Meaning of Fish Sins in the Life
of the Unholy Goldfish.” Not to speak of the hours upon hours of
studying and holding my breath so that I could train my body and mind
to submit to my soul. It has taken me years to become a Reverend
Fish.” Then she laughed, “Trust me, my dear child, I know. You have
to be of the utmost purest of all fish to speak with The Holy One, the
Captain.”
Gracie thought for a second about all that Reverend Reef had said,
before asking, “Oh, so after all that you haven’t gotten a chance to talk
to the Captain yet?”
Reverend Coral C. Reef, apprehensively, laughed off the question,
“No. Not yet. But I feel like my time is coming soon.” The Reverend
then folded her fins together as if she was in prayerful meditation.
Gracie looked over her notes, confused, “And how many times have
you done the Sinful Fishy dance?” she asked.
“A lot of times,” Reverend Reef grinned.
“Ohhh, well,” Gracie said, looking around, “I don’t really have time
for all of that. Maybe if the Captain is in HE might give me a chance to
talk to him for just a minute. I just need to ask him a few important
questions, that’s all. So, if you could just point me to his office or
maybe where he is at right now, then I could...”
Reverend Reef stopped Gracie mid-sentence. “Dear, dear child.”
She smiled at Gracie’s childlike ignorance. “The Captain is here with
us right now.”
“Oh, good!” Gracie blurted out happily, looking all around. “This
should only take a moment. So where is he at?”
Reverend Reef chuckled, spreading her fins wide. “He is
everywhere!” she said. “He’s all around us right now. Everywhere
you look, THERE the Captain is.”
Well, this confused Gracie even more. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but I
don’t understand.”
30
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Reverend Reef laughed, saying, “My dear child, the Captain is in the
bubbles that we fish breathe. So, that means he is everywhere. He is
the life-giver of the fishbowl. Here! I will show you.”
Reverend Coral guided Gracie over to the fishbowl bubbler to show
her the Holy Bubbler and all the amazing bubbles coming out of the top
of it. “Here it is.” she said with a smile, “This is our Holy and Sacred
Bubbler of the fishbowl. We believe that the Bubbler is the life-giver
of our fishbowl. So we worship the Holy Bubbler for its life-giving
properties to our fishbowl. It is the Holy Idol of our Bubble Glass
Cathedral Church and our most Sacred object we have in our
collection.”
Gracie watched as the plastic scuba diver bubbler released air,
causing the bubbles to float upwards. She asked, “So, is this the
Captain?”
“Oh, no. This is not the Captain.” Reverend Reef corrected Gracie
with a chuckle.
Gracie looked over at the bubbler and back at Reverend Reef and
then back at the bubbler. “Okay,” she said, “So where did the Holy
Bubbler come from?”
31
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Well,” Reverend Reef answered, thinking for a second, “The
Captain created the Holy Bubbler as the life sustainer for our fishbowl
but it’s not actually the Captain.”
“Well, if that is not the Captain…” Gracie questioned, “Then why
are you worshiping it?”
Reverend Reef turned with a confused look on her face, “I’m sorry, I
do not understand, my child.”
“Well,” Gracie thought, “I’m just saying. You said you worship the
Holy Bubbler. But why do you worship something that isn’t the
Captain? It just seems to me that you should worship the Captain and
not the things the Captain has made for us. I mean what’s more
important, the Holy Bubbler or the Captain …who made the bubbler,
right? That all just seems really confusing to me.”
Gracie looked over her notes and added, “Oh, and also, earlier, you
said that this is the Holy Ground right? But now you just said the
Captain is everywhere. So if the Captain is everywhere, then why is
(just) this place …here the only Holy Ground? Why isn’t everywhere
in the fishbowl Holy Ground? I mean if the Captain is everywhere,
then why wouldn’t everywhere in the fishbowl be Holy Ground also?”
Looking back at her notes again… Gracie added, “O yes, and one
more thing, why do you have to dress a certain way and do some kind
of Song and Dance before you can be accepted into the church? I
would think that if a church knew the Captain, the creator of the
Fishbowl, then why wouldn’t that Church want EVERYONE to meet
the Captain? You know, you really should probably make it easier for
others to meet the Captain.
I don’t know,” Gracie said, thinking as she chuckled, “Maybe just let
them come in and speak with him if they want. I mean, if you think
about it, you have been doing the same old Song and Dance like,
forever and you haven’t even TALKED with the Captain yet yourself.
Maybe all of your strange rules you make up, like the funny songs and
weird dances, aren’t the way the Captain wants to talk to you.”
An uneasy silence filled the room before Reverend Reef finally said
a little annoyed, “I think you should leave now.”
Seeing now that she had overstayed her welcome, Gracie quietly
gathered her stuff and exited the door of the church.
32
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Aww, poor, poor Gracie. She thought she was never
going to get to meet the Captain. And if she couldn’t
meet the Captain, then she was never going to find
out what the Meaning of Life was. And if she couldn’t
find out what the Meaning of Life was, then she was
surely going to get an F in Ms. Fishbottom’s class. All
she could do was weep… until someone heard her
crying.
33
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Gills Driftwood believes in Sasquatch Fish!”
34
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
G
racie plopped down on a rock right outside the church doors. She
felt like she had finally lost all hope in being able to get her report done
on time and get rid of that nasty F on her record. Saddened, she was
about to start crying when all of a sudden a strange fish came
swimming along. He was dancing around and snapping his fin while
listening to a tune coming from his MP3 FishPOD headset. Gracie
looked over and saw the strange fish coming her way. She quickly
wiped away her tears.
\\
“Hey, hey,” the strange fish said looking over at Gracie sitting on the
rock, “Why are you crying, little friend? Is someone after you or
something?” The tattooed fish then smiled and said, “My name is Gills
Driftwood, but you can call me Gills. What’s your name?”
Gracie looked up sadly, “Hi, my name is Gracie Little and no, I’m
just sad because I’m going to get an F on my report because I can’t get
my report done, because I don’t know what the meaning of life is here
in our fishbowl and in order to find out what the meaning of life is I
need to talk to the one who created everything, The Captain, and I can’t
find him anywhere.” Gracie sniffled back her tears.
35
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Gills laughed, “Aww, dude, you don’t have to talk to NO Captain
about the meaning of life.”
Gracie looked up, still whimpering, “Why?”
Gills smiled, “Oh, I know the answer to the meaning of life! Yeah,
it’s simple!”
Gracie quickly pulled out her pad and pencil and readied herself to
take notes. “You do, really? Please go on!” she said.
Gills began to recall as he put his fin on his chin. “Yeah, I know the
meaning of life. Yeah, I saw it on Fish TV just last night. You see,
there was this guy on TV who said that all the goldfish were put here in
the fishbowl by aliens from another dimension.
Gills then began to wave his fins around as he continued his
incoherent rant. “Yeah, and then they said that the aliens taught our
ancient fish ancestors how to build everything in the fishbowl a long
time ago, like the great fish pyramids and the ancient Greek fish
columns.”
Then, Gills started acting more suspicious. He said very quietly,
looking around as if someone was listening, “Yeah, but see, the
government doesn’t want us to know about all this stuff. You know
why, because they want to keep us slaves to the fishbowl economy.
Yeah, that’s right, it’s all one big fishbowl Government conspiracy
cover-up, dude! And everybody’s in on it. And you can’t fight them,
because they’re too big to FAIL.”
Gills looked back to make sure no one was listening before he
continued, “Yeah, and you know what else? They say that the
Government created this secret army of big hairy Sasquatch Fish
known as the BIG FISH FOOTS! And if you disobey them, the
Government will send the Sasquatch Fish after you. You know why?
Because they want to keep everything under wraps.” Gills said it as if
he alone had figured it all out. “You want to know why? You want to
know why they want to keep it under wraps? Because the end of our
world is coming soon. That’s right. A huge rock is going to come and
smash into our fishbowl. It’s going to be Fish Armageddon week!”
And then Gills started acting out a shark attacking prey… “And then
all these sharks are going to come and eat us for like a whole week
too.” Gills then started acting like a ghost. “And, and then we are all
going to be like Ghost Fish roaming the old haunted fishbowl.
Whoooooo, whooooo… For all of eternity. It’s messed up if you think
about it.”
36
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Gracie put her pencil and pad down. “I’m sorry, but did you just say
something about Sasquatch Fish?”
Gills, answered with total seriousness, “Yes!”
Gracie looked at her notes and then back up at Gills, “And Ghost
Fish? You said something about Ghost Fish …didn’t you?”
Gills nodded, “Yep! Ghost Fish! And don’t let me get started on
the Psychic Fish that are spying on your brain and oh, yeah, the
Chupacabra Fish eating all of our Cow fish.”
Gracie smiled nervously, “And you said you saw all this on Fish
TV?”
Gills chuckled. “Yeah, I watch A LOT of TV…”
“Yes, I can see that,” Gracie said as she started to close her note
pad, “And so you believe in all this stuff you watch on TV?”
“Yeah…” Gills announced, “It’s scientific fact, dude. I mean if it’s
on TV, it’s got to be true, right? Because, why would they put
something on TV that wasn’t true, right?”
Gracie, now looking for an exit plan, simply smiled, “Oh yeah, okay,
I guess you’re right there. Well, thank you for your help; I think I’m
going to get going now. I’m just going to keep looking for the
Captain.”
Gills laughed, “Oh dude, that’s so funny. I can’t believe you really
believe in that Captain stuff. Are you one of those crazies who believe
in a Captain who Created Everything? Dude, that’s just wacky. That’s
like the dumbest thing I ever heard. How can you believe in that stuff?
Don’t you know all that stuff is just a myth?”
Gracie, a little annoyed, answered Gills. “Yeah, I guess I’m the
weird fish here because I don’t believe in Chupacabra Fish who are
eating all of our Cow fish.”
37
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
She tried to swim away while Gills was still chuckling at her, but
then suddenly Gills said something that caught her attention. “Yeah.
Hey, hey, you know what? I remember there is this one Old Fish who
believed in all that Captain junk too. His name was ummm… ummm,
Golden Lou. Yeah, that’s right, Old Crazy Golden Lou! It was funny;
he used to try to tell other fish about that old stupid Captain stuff but
nobody listened to him because we ALL thought he was crazy. Yeah,
he got so really annoying that Mayor Sandcastle got everyone together
and we all had a meeting and we all voted to ban Old Golden Lou from
talking about his stupid beliefs anymore. Yeah, we told him that he
wasn’t allowed to talk about the Captain stuff any more in our town.”
Gills words interested Gracie. She asked, “Do you know where this
Golden Lou lives?”
Gills smirked, “Why do you want to know? That old fish was crazy,
believing in a Captain and everything. You might as well believe in
some kind of spaghetti monster or something stupid like that,” He
snorted.
Unknown to Gills, a small squid named Squiggy was swimming by
and had heard the comment. “Hey, Hey! You calling me a Spaghetti
Monster, buddy?” Squiggy said in his very upset and very NewYorker-like accent.
38
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
The confrontation caught Gills off guard: he turned, realizing that
Squiggy had misinterpreted his statement. “Ahhh, naw, dude. I didn’t
even see you there! I was just talking about another Spaghetti Monster.
You know?”
Squiggy wouldn’t hear any of Gill’s excuses. He floated up to Gills,
looked him square in the eyes and said, “Yeah, yeah you better not be
calling me a Spaghetti Monster, Buddy! I’ll go all tentacles on you.
Haw-yahhhh!” Squiggy whipped around, motioning his arms into a Jujitsu, Fighting Crane Stance and warned Gills, “Yeah, you don’t want
none of this.” A few uncomfortable seconds passed before Squiggy
started backing away, still with his crazy-eyes staring down Gills as he
floated slowly out of sight.
“Whoaaa, dude!” Gills stuttered, kind of quietly. “That is one crazy
little squid…”
Gracie, who had watched the whole uncomfortable moment, swam
up next to Gills. “Yeah, so, no more talking about Spaghetti Monsters-right?”
Gills nodded in agreement, “Right.”
Gracie then said, “And so, do you know where Golden Lou lives?
You know, for my research paper and everything.”
Gills was still looking in the direction of where he had last seen the
little crazy squid leave. He said, half acknowledging Gracie’s question,
“I don’t know, it’s been a long time, but I think he lives in an old cave
near the rocks on the far side of the fishbowl.”
Gracie smiled, “Okay, thank you for your help!” she said, turning to
leave Gills, who was still frozen in fear.
Gills whispered back, “Yeah, no problem, cool. Any time, and hey,
watch out for the Sasquatch Fish!”
39
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“As strange as that chance encounter might have been
for Gracie, it was that meeting that finally put her on
the right track to finding the answers she’d been
looking for.”
40
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Old Golden Lou
and the Great Fish Tale!”
41
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
It took Gracie a while, but she finally found the cave that Gills had
told her about, the cave where Old Golden Lou lived. Gracie swam up
to the opening. She couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.
“Hello. Hello, is anybody home?” Gracie asked, trying to see into
the dimly lit cave. “Hello!”
At first there was no answer but then a voice came from deep within
the cave. “Yes, yes. Who’s there?”
Trying to see where the voice had come from, Gracie responded,
“Hi, yes, my name is Gracie Little. And I was wondering if I could ask
you a few questions. It’s for a report I am writing for my class.”
The voice from within called back, “If you’re selling something, I’m
not interested.”
Holding her note pad up, she yelled back, “No, no, I said, I’m
writing a report for my class. It’s a report about the meaning of life
here in our fishbowl.”
42
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Suddenly, the head of a white-bearded Goldfish poked out from the
cave. He was an old fish with an old wooden cane in one fin and his
reading glasses in the other. He looked Gracie over suspiciously,
adjusting his hearing aid while asking, “I’m sorry, but did you say
you’re writing a report about the meaning of life in our fishbowl?”
“Ummm, yes sir, that’s correct,” Gracie answered and then asked
politely, “Are you Golden Lou, sir?”
Turning quickly to grab a rock on the ground, the old fish adjusted
his camouflage on the front door as if he was trying to hide the entrance
of the cave, while asking Gracie, “And why would a young little fish
like yourself… be interested in such an illogical question as to what is
the Meaning of Life here in our little Fishbowl?”
Not wanting to go into all the embarrassing details, Gracie just
stated, “Well, it’s a long story,” hoping that answer would be good
enough.
But it wasn’t. Old Golden Lou turned back around, and showing
how much he was interested in hearing about Gracie’s long story, he
plopped down on a rock and said, “Well, I just happen to have plenty of
time on my fins. So, I’m all ears.”
“No, really, it’s not that important,” Gracie tried to shrug off the
subject.
“Well, if it wasn’t that important,” Golden Lou said with his fin
raised, “then you wouldn’t be here right now. Now would you?” Old
Golden Lou then smiled, leaning forward, saying, “Humor an old fish.
I don’t get much of an opportunity to talk to a lot of other fishes
nowadays, so I could use the conversation time.”
Seeing that she had no other choice because Golden Lou wasn’t
going to let the subject go, Gracie sat down beside him and started
sharing her story of the events earlier that morning. “Well, I was in
class this morning… and we were learning about the Fishbowl to
Goldfish Evolution Theory and well, I kind of disagreed with my
teacher about how life could have come out of something that is not
alive and so anyway, to make a long story short, I got an F in my class
today because my teacher said I was disrupting the class by being
disrespectful and asking way too many questions. So, now I have to do
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
this report so I can get rid of the F on my record… So I can keep my
grade point average up.”
Listening, Golden Lou, wise with his years, smiled as he gave Gracie
a little friendly advice. “You know, you should always show respect to
your elders, especially your teachers, even when you disagree with
them.”
“Yeah, I know that now.” Gracie answered sadly, feeling a little
embarrassed…
Golden Lou could see that Gracie was truly repentant. He nudged
her with his cane and said, “That being said, you are a very smart fish
to be asking those types of questions, you know.”
Gracie looked up. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Golden Lou started, “it is kind of silly to think that life came
out of something that is not alive, like our fishbowl, right? I never
thought that was true myself. I guess you could say that I too, as a
young fish, asked too many questions when I was in school. See, I was
just like you. I wanted to know what the meaning of life was in our
fishbowl, so I started looking for the answer myself. ”
Gracie, quickly pulled out her note pad and pencil as she asked, “So
tell me, what happened?”
“Well,” Golden Lou chuckled, “I guess you could say I found it.”
Gracie’s eyes widened. She looked up from her note pad and asked,
“What did you find?”
Golden Lou whispered, “The answer. I found it. Well, I should say,
I found HIM.” Golden Lou looked upwards towards the great dark
blue sky up above.
Gracie could barely contain her excitement. “Who did you find?”
Golden Lou said proudly, “The Captain--who else?”
Amazed, Gracie stuttered, “So, you know the Captain? But how? I
mean, I have been wanting to meet him all day. I’ve been looking
everywhere. How did you find him?”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Well,” Golden Lou laughed, “You couldn’t find him because he
doesn’t live here in our fishbowl.” Golden Lou pointed upward. “He
lives up there beyond the fishbowl, just out of sight.”
Gracie, looking up with him, was now a little confused. “I don’t
understand. How do you find something you can’t see?”
“Well,” Golden Lou said, “That’s the funny part. You see, I first
found Him in a Story. An old, old story told long ago.”
Gracie looked down. “I’m sorry, I’m still confused. But did you just
say you found the Captain in a Story?” she asked.
“Yep,” Golden Lou replied confidently, “I found him in the greatest
story ever told, a story from a very, very long time ago. It’s called the
Great Fish Tale. It is a story that has been passed along from one
generation of goldfish to the next but sadly, over time more and more
goldfish have forgotten it. I am one of the last goldfish in the fishbowl
who still remembers the story.”
“Will you tell me the story, Golden Lou?” Gracie Blurted out.
45
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Golden Lou smiled, “Okay, if you want to hear it. I’ll tell you. The
Story starts out like this…”
The
Great Fish Tale
Before
there was
time… Before
there was you and
me, there once
was a Great
Captain who sailed
on TOP of the Big
Blue Sea.
He was a Good Captain. He was strong and He
was fair. And although the Captain loved
his ship and his crew, it was still lonely
up there.
See, the Captain wanted fellowship with
those he could love. Those that might one
day come to live with him up above.
So, the Captain decided to make a very
special bowl. A bowl that would hold tiny
little fishes… that from His own hands he
would mold.
These would be very
special fishes that
would live in that
Fishbowl. So special
were the little fish
that the Captain gave
them their own Soul.
He would let them be
free to make their
own choices and he
would give them the ability to speak, so
that He could hear their little voices.
46
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
He promised that he would not control their
each and every move, but give them minds to
reason and instill in them a moral point of
view.
So the Captain
made that Fishbowl
with the greatest
of loving care. He
created everything
the fish would
need; from the
plants they would
eat to the water’s
life-giving air.
And then, when it was ready, He spoke the
little fish into existence and with his
divine breath he breathed into each one of
them his own life-essence.
So as time went
by, all the little
Fishes started to
appear. And they
began to swim
happily in the
Fishbowl for
many, many years.
Until one
terrible day, the
little fishes
began to hurt each other. They had
forgotten about the Captain’s rules. They
had forgotten how to love one another.
The Captain watched that day; his heart was
very, very sad, for all the good little
fishes he had made were now acting very,
very bad.
47
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
So the Captain had
no other choice but
to send his only
Son to remind the
little fishes down
below… why life in
the fishbowl had
begun.
The Captain created
a very special FISH
that would carry His own Son’s spirit. And
He filled his Son’s voice with power so
that everyone down below would hear it.
And then, when
the time was
right, the Son
Fish came down
like a great
miracle from
above. And He
began to teach
all the little
fishes down
below how to
once again love.
He reminded them about the Captain and how
their world had begun. He reminded them of
the rules and how they should love
everyone.
He healed the sick little fishes and gave
sight to those who were blind. And He
forgave each little fish of their bad
little deeds, one fishy sin at a time.
But many of the little fishes did not want
to hear the Son Fish’s words. So they
laughed at the Son Fish, telling him that
his story was absurd.
48
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
The Son Fish told those little fishes that
one day their works would be judged, by the
One True Captain who was watching them from
up above.
Those bad little fish then got so mad that
they made up a sinister plan; they decided
to stop the Son Fish from talking about the
Captain’s love ever again.
They trapped
the Son Fish and
they bound him
and beat him to
death. And then
they threw his
lifeless body
in a cave where
it slowly
floated down to
rest.
For three days and three nights the Captain
watched, His soul filled with strife. But
on the third day the Captain decided to
bring His Son Fish back to life.
All then watched and were amazed as the Son
Fish’s body did once again live; proving
that He was the Son of the Great Captain
and now, the Son had the power to forgive.
The Son then stood
in front of all
and with his
mighty voice he
did say,
“I am going back
home to my
father’s ship…
but I’ll be back
again one Day.”
49
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
And with those words the Captain brought
His Son back up above, leaving those down
below to remember this story of the Son
Fish’s Tale of True Love.
So when you wonder why you’re here, in this
fishbowl feeling so alone, just remember
the Great Captain loves you and one day He
wants to bring you up to His Heavenly Home.
The End
“Wow,” Gracie said, “I’ve never heard that story before.”
Golden Lou smiled. “Yep. The Son Fish gave his life so that we all
here in the fishbowl could know the truth about the Captain; and where
our fishbowl came from and why we are here. And because the Son
Fish gave his life for us, we can be forgiven of all of our bad deeds. All
of our bad deeds that hurt others, or our bad deeds that hurt ourselves.
And even our bad deeds that hurt the Captain. We can be forgiven
because of what the Captain’s Son did for all of us.”
Gracie interrupted, “But I don’t understand. How?”
“Because,” Golden Lou answered, “The Son Fish gave his life for
the truth. And So the Captain honors his Son’s sacrifice and now all
we have to do is ask the Captain’s Son to forgive us of all the bad deeds
we have done and he will. The Captain’s Son is like our best friend,
helping all of us down here in the fishbowl to stay out of trouble and
love one another.”
“So, wait,” Gracie said, looking back at her notes, “Let me get this
straight! So then, you don’t have to do some kind of ridiculous Song
and Dance to be forgiven of your Fishy Sins, then?”
“No,” Golden Lou said, laughing, “You don’t have to do some
ridiculous Song and Dance to be forgiven. All you have to do is just
ask and then stop doing the bad things. Also, the Captain’s Son taught
us lessons like we should forgive others for the bad things they have
done to us and to not hold grudges. And He taught us how we are
supposed to love our neighbors and our enemies instead of hating them.
And how we are supposed to do good to those who don’t like us and
forgive those who harm us. And, then he taught us that we are
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
supposed to help those in need and give to the poor, feed the hungry
and clothe those who need clothes.”
Gracie worked to jot down as much as she could on her little note
pad while Golden Lou kept talking.
Golden Lou turned, pulled up an old leather book from his shelf and
opened it. He then began to read from its old tattered pages. “The Son
Fish gave us the Captain’s ten simple rules to live by here in the
fishbowl. They are called the Ten Laws of the Fishbowl. See, He
knew if we just lived by these ten simple rules, we could all live
together in the fishbowl in peace.” Golden Lou then started reading the
rules to Gracie.
10 Laws of the Fishbowl
1) We are to Trust in the One True Captain, because
he is the Captain of all and he knows what is good
for us and knows how to keep us safe from all harm.
2) We do not worship the things inside the fishbowl
because the things in the fishbowl have no power and
they will not last forever.
3) We do not use the Captain’s name in anger, or to
do evil or to get the things we want.
4) All Fish should rest one day a week because rest
helps us regain our strength and gives us time to
talk to the Captain.
5) All little fishes growing up should be good to
their elders because the elders know what is good
for them.
6) No fish should ever hurt or kill another fish.
7) All adult fishes should love the ones they are
married to and never do anything to hurt them or
their trust.
8) No Fish should ever steal from other fish.
9) No Fish should ever lie to another fish.
10) And No fish should want something that another
fish has so bad that they’ll do anything to get it.
51
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Golden Lou closed his old leather book and smiled. “These are the
Rules,” he said, pointing at the old book with his fin, “These are the
Rules that we are to live by that bring peace, hope and trust into our
fishbowl for all fish.”
Gracie stopped writing. “Wow,” she said, thinking for a second, “I
think I might have broken a couple of the rules already.” She looked
back down sadly at her notes.
“That’s okay,” Golden Lou said, “All you have to do is talk to the
Captain, tell him you are sorry and he’ll forgive you.”
Gracie smiled, but then quickly got back to her questions, “Okay.
But, what about all the fish who don’t believe in the Captain or the Son
Fish or any of the rules.”
“Well,” Golden Lou explained, “Like I said, it’s all about choices.
See, the Captain gave all fish free will to make their own choices. Like
how they want to believe …or how they want to act around others or
how they want to treat others. But see, every choice we make is an
ACTION and for every action we make there is a consequence to our
action.”
Golden Lou looked over at a danger sign next to a hole in the side of
a rock. “See that sign over there, that says, ‘Do not put your fin in the
hole or your fin might get stuck.’
“Now say that I wanted to break that rule and put my fin in the hole,
just to see what’s in there. Well then, that is my choice. So, I can
choose to disobey the sign and do what I want. So, say I put my fin in
there and the next thing you know my fin gets stuck. Well then, that is
the consequence to my action. But now let’s say the Son Fish came
swimming along and he saw me stuck. Now, I could say, …I don’t
want Him to help me out, but then I would still be stuck in the hole.
Or then again, I could ask the Son Fish to help me get unstuck and he
would. And then he would tell me to obey that sign so that I don’t get
stuck again.”
Gracie smiled. “Oh, okay, I get it. The hole is like bad deeds or
fishy sins. The sign represents the Captain’s Rules… and the Son Fish
helping us out of trouble represents His forgiveness. Wow!” Gracie
thought, “We never learned that in school at all. Every Action leads to
a Consequence. I wonder why we don’t learn about this stuff in
school?”
52
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
For that question, Golden Lou could only say sadly, “I don’t know.
Maybe some fish …just don’t want to believe that there is really a
Captain who is in charge. Or maybe some fish just want to live the
way they want to live, by their own rules.”
Gracie looked at Golden Lou’s book. “So, is that book why you got
run out of town, because you were trying to teach everyone about the
Son Fish and the Captain’s rules?”
Golden Lou nodded sadly. “No one wanted to hear an old fish like
me talk about the Captain or his Son’s forgiveness. So they told me to
stop talking about it. And so I did.”
“Well, Golden Lou,” Gracie said, “It does all sound good, but how
do you know the story is true? I mean, what if the Captain really isn’t
up there? What if the story is just an old fish-tale. You know, just all
made up? I mean there are a lot of fish out there that don’t believe in a
Captain.”
Golden Lou smiled at Gracie. “It’s all about faith. It’s about
believing. See, the way I see it, every fish has to have faith in
something. Some fish have faith that there is a Captain outside the
fishbowl and some fish just have faith that …we are all here alone in
this fishbowl, …here for no reason.” Leaning back on a rock behind
him, Golden Lou looked up into the now dark starry sky above, “You
know what I think, Gracie? I think you have to have just as much
FAITH not to believe in a Creator …as you do to believe in a Creator.”
Gracie smiled because she had thought the same thing at Dr. Fin’s
lab earlier. Slowly, she started gathering her stuff into her bag and
getting ready to leave, “Well, I don’t know if I can write all this in my
report. It all sounds a little unbelievable, you know.” She laughed,
“I’m not even sure if I believe it myself.”
Old Golden Lou smiled wearily, “I understand,” he said, “It was
unbelievable for me too, but the only way you are going to know for
sure is to find out for yourself if the Captain exists.”
Gracie chuckled, “And how do I do that?” She put her note pad in
her bag.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Well,” Golden Lou said, with a tired voice, as he looked up in the
sky, “Remember in the story, the Captain gave us a voice …so we
could talk to him? So, just talk to him, Gracie.”
Gracie snickered. “Excuse me?”
Golden Lou closed his eyes as if he was about to fall asleep, saying,
“You wanted an interview with the Captain, right? So just ask Him
yourself. If He is up there, then I’m sure He wants to talk to you,
because He loves you, Gracie.”
Gracie noticed that Golden Lou’s words started to slow down a little.
“You came here,” Golden Lou said tiredly, as he breathed in deeply,
“You came here wanting to know what the meaning of life is. Well, the
meaning of life is, the Creator of the fishbowl …wants to talk to his
creation.”
Golden Lou began to slip away into a deep sleep, but not before
saying, “Gracie, remember everything happens for a reason. Our
actions lead to consequences, both bad and good ones. Now please take
my book, my little friend, and let the whole fishbowl hear about its
story of the Son Fish.”
Gracie watched as the old book slowly slipped out of Golden Lou’s
fins. She quickly swam over and grabbed it before it hit the ground
below. Looking up, worried, Gracie tried to wake the old fish, “Golden
Lou? Golden Lou? Golden Lou, wake up! Golden Lou, please wake
up!”
…But Golden Lou wouldn’t wake up …because he wasn’t asleep.
54
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Lil Gracie’s New Mission”
55
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
F
or what seemed like hours, Gracie swam by herself crying, before
she finally came to a rock and sat down. She had not known Golden
Lou for all that long, but now since he was gone, it felt like she had lost
a wonderful friend whom she would never be able to talk to again. Yet,
as she sat there, his words still echoed in her mind as if he was there
with her at that very moment.
Gracie looked sadly at her note pad and thought, “Maybe Golden
Lou was right. Maybe the Captain is up there.” She looked upwards
and gazed into the big starry sky up above, and then for just a small
moment she had the strange feeling that maybe the Captain was up
there looking back down at her at that very instant.
“Captain?” she said, almost automatically, as if HE was listening,
“Captain, if you’re up there, well, I want you to know that, I want to
believe in you just like Golden Lou believed in you, but I’m just not
sure.”
Gracie felt a little silly, like maybe she was just talking to herself, but
she carried on anyway. “If you are up there and if you can hear me, I
want you to know that I do want to meet you one day, someday, if you
have the time. I know you are probably really busy taking care of the
whole fishbowl and everything, but I really need to meet with you. It’s
56
D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
kind of important.”
Thinking, Gracie then added, “Also, just so you know, I know now
what your Son did for all of us. He gave his life so that we could be
forgiven of our bad deeds …and well, to be truthful, I have not been the
best little fish, that’s for sure. And I know… I have broken some of
your rules and, well, I was hoping that I could be forgiven of my bad
deeds, too, if that’s okay with you?”
Gracie, never having prayed before, tried to end her prayer in as holy
a manner as she could, “Well, anyways, thank you for listening to me
and everything.” She smiled nervously and then she whispered, “If you
can even hear me. I hope you can. Well, good night.”
“Ha!” a voice yelled, “I told you I heard someone talking over here!”
Bobby and the Fish Boy Gang appeared from behind some rocks near
Gracie.
“Well, well, well,” Bobby said with a grin, “Look who we found out
here in the rocks, all alone; if it isn’t the Nerd Fish herself, Lil Gracie.”
One of the Fish Boys laughed, “Yeah, it’s the fish who thinks she is
smarter than everyone else in class.”
Another Fish Boy in the group added, “If she thinks she’s smarter
than us, then what’s she doing out here in our territory all alone?”
Gracie jumped up, “Look, guys,” she said, “I don’t want any trouble.
Besides, I’m not trying to be the smartest fish any more. I learned that
I need to treat others better, because that’s what the Captain wants us to
do. Look. It’s in his rules right here.” Gracie showed the boys Golden
Lou’s book. But they didn’t seem to want to pay attention to it. So
then, Gracie said humbly, “Look, I’m sorry I’ve been mean to you all.
Thinking I was better than you. I’m not, because the Captain made all
of us the same. And well, I hope you can forgive me…? Please?”
Bobby laughed, “What are you talking about? You want us to
forgive you. Well, it’s a little late for that. I told you if I found you out
here alone, you were going to get it, didn’t I?”
Gracie backed away trying to hide, but soon her back was against the
rocks. She had nowhere to run. “No, please.” She pleaded, “I said I
was sorry. Look, I just want to go home, please.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Bobby and the Fish Boy Gang started laughing at Gracie as she
pleaded and screamed for help. And then right when they were about
to grab her suddenly, a bright light came down from above that stopped
them all dead in their tracks.
A voice from above yelled out, “Leave her alone!” The sound of the
voice made the ground and rocks shake all around them like an
earthquake. The Fish Boy Gang began to scream in fear and scattered,
swimming off as fast as they could in all different directions.
Gracie, looking up into the bright light, thought it was so beautiful,
so amazing, and then suddenly she fainted into unconsciousness.
Seconds later, she woke up. She felt like she was a fish out of water,
grasping for the oxygen-rich H2O that she needed to live by. But there
was none of it around her to breathe in any more. She started to panic
…and for just a moment, she felt like she was dying …until she heard a
mighty voice say to her, “You are going to be okay, Gracie. You don’t
have to breathe here …in this place. Just relax and focus on me.”
Although her heart was racing, somehow the voice was able to calm
her down. She slowly opened her eyes and began to somehow realize
that she was in the palm of a large hand, a hand that was now holding
her gently above the top of the fishbowl below.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
At first, Gracie couldn’t see clearly around her but then, gradually
the blurry images started to come into focus. The first image she could
see was an old-white bearded man. He was a very large and very
strong-looking gentleman with a white suit on. Strangely, somehow
Gracie knew that this man would not hurt her in any way.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
“Who are you?” She asked.
“I am the Captain.” He answered, his voice was powerful.
Gracie could see that there were several other silhouettes standing
around the Captain, including one strong-looking younger man who
was standing right beside the Captain. Gracie was in awe.
The Captain’s voice said, “And this is my Son and my crew. You
are on my ship. You do not have to worry. You are safe with us.”
“Oh, wow,” Gracie said excitedly! “Captain, I’ve been looking for
you. I’ve been wanting to meet you. I have, I have so many questions
I need to ask you.”
“I know,” the Captain said, smiling, “I’ve been watching you down
there in the fishbowl.”
“But how did I get here?” Gracie said as she looked all around.
And then suddenly, Gracie’s eyes caught a glimpse of an image of
herself in a mirror on the wall. Well, it wasn’t herself …as she
remembered herself looking inside the fishbowl, but she knew that it
was really her looking back at her from that mirror.
.
Gracie walked over and stared into the mirror. Inside the reflection
was a little girl staring back at her.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
As Gracie put her hand on her face …so did the girl in the mirror.
When she smiled, so did the girl in the mirror. And when she laughed,
so did the little girl.
The Captain’s voice said, “That is you, Gracie. Well, that is how
you look up here …outside the fishbowl. You have a new body here,
different from the one you needed in the fishbowl.”
“Wow,” Gracie said, “I look so different now…”
And then, as Gracie looked into the mirror she noticed the fishbowl
in the reflection behind her. It was still sitting on the table. It seemed
so small compared to how big she had thought it was when she was
inside it. “Wow, is that? Is that our fishbowl?”
“Yes it is,” said the Captain.
Gracie laughed, “It looks so small now.”
The Captain chuckled back, “Yes, the world out here is a lot bigger
than the fishbowl you live in, much, much bigger.” the Captain said, as
he pointed towards an open window of the ship, Gracie turned to look
outside.
All she could see was an endless sea set out before her, with a
beautiful sunset on the horizon pouring down a rainbow of orange,
yellow and blue colors over the glassy water.
Gracie’s heart dropped at the beautiful sight. “Oh, wow, Captain,”
she whispered, “I have so many questions to ask you like, how did you
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
create the fishbowl and what is going to happen when it’s gone and
what is on the other side of that big blue sea over there?”
Laughter could be heard coming from behind Gracie. It was the
Captain, his Son and the crew.
That is when Gracie noticed that once again she was asking too
many questions. Embarrassed, she turned around and apologized for
her rudeness. “Oh, I’m sorry, Sir,” she said, “I have been told that I ask
way too many questions, sometimes.”
“Don’t be sorry, Gracie,” the Captain’s gentle voice came back.
“That is how I made you. When I formed you in my hands, I added a
spark of curiosity in you, because I wanted you to ask questions. That
way I knew one day you would find me because of your curiosity.”
The Captain’s words comforted Gracie as she listened.
“But I am sorry to say,” the Captain continued, “You’re going to
have to wait just a little longer for all your questions to be answered.”
Gracie looked up sadly and asked, “Why?”
The Captain smiled at her with a loving smile, “Because, Gracie, you
have to go back home now.”
Suddenly, the sounds of the other fish in the fishbowl all calling out
Gracie’s name could be heard. Gracie turned to look back at the bowl,
saying to the Captain, “But, I want to stay here with you.”
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
The Captain said with loving care, “You can’t, Gracie.”
“But, I don’t understand why!” Gracie cried.
“Because,” the Captain said, “You have to go back so you can finish
your report. Everyone needs to know what you have discovered. You
need to tell them all the things you have heard and seen. It’s very
important, Gracie. I need you to be a Captain’s Messenger, to go back
into the fishbowl because all my little fish down there have forgotten
about me again. They need to remember me. They need to remember
what my Son did for them and they need to remember that I love them
and want them to come home one day.”
The Captain laid his mighty hand on Gracie’s little shoulder, asking
her, “Can you deliver the message for me, Gracie Little?”
Gracie thought for a second and then a smile came on her face,
“Wow, you want me to be a Captain’s Messenger?” She thought a
moment and then shouted, “Okay! Aye, Aye, Captain!” Then, with
determination, she saluted the Captain, “I will go back and give them
my report, but only on one condition, Sir.”
Her statement seemed to catch the Captain off guard, “And what
condition is that, Gracie Little?..”
Gracie grinned, “That when I get back up here, Sir, I get to ask you
as many questions as I can, Sir.”
The Captain smiled as he looked back at his Son and the crew,
saying, “Very well. Condition accepted.”
The Captain then held out is hand and asked Gracie, “Are you ready
to go back in?”
Gracie yelled, “I’m READY, Captain! Let’s do it!”
The Captain said with a smile, “Hold your breath then Gracie,
because here we go!”
A flash of light like lightning filled the room of the cabin of the ship
…and then there was silence.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
H
“ i, this is Sandy Ripples here for FISH TV, reporting live. I am
here with an eyewitness of the strange events of the young fish named
Gracie Little and her tall tale of events over the last few days, claiming
that she had met the so-called Captain. Following up on this story, we
were able to get some interviews with some fish that claim to know this
little girl. Let’s listen in and see what they have to say about Gracie
Little.”
Dr. C.M. Fins laughed, “Well, obviously, Gracie Little suffered some
kind of post-traumatic stress disorder from her event. This is why she
thinks she saw the Captain. Maybe she hit her head or suffered
memory loss. We have tried to give her medication but she won’t take
it.”
“Bobby Cork and The Fish Gang sat in front of the camera, still
shaking in fear, “Dude! We saw a bright light. We are not joking!
And there was this voice and then Gracie just… disappeared.”
Gills smiled at the Camera, “Aliens, bro! Gracie Little was abducted
by a flying saucer from another dimension. I told you. They’re up
there watching us right now. Trying to take all of our cow fish, dude!
They got to be stopped.
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D.A. Collinsworth’s Fishbowl Theory
Squiggy, looked off-camera and yelled, “FOR THE LAST TIME! I
AM NOT A SPAGHETTI MONSTER! AHHHHHYYYYAAAA!”
Ms. Fishbottom adjusted her glasses before saying, “Well, Gracie’s
report was very well written, but I still had to give her an F because it
was just ridiculous, to think that a ‘Captain’ made all of us. She really
believes there is a Captain up there watching us right now? It’s just
ridiculous …and kind of sad really.”
Mayor Sandcastle straightened his tie, saying in a politically correct
tone, “I feel sorry for that poor little girl. I blame our society. We
should be watching what we are teaching our youth today. That is why
I am putting forth legislation to remove all religious teachings from our
libraries, bookstores, and most importantly our schools.”
Reverend Reef, crossing her fins, smiled and said, “Well I told her
the only way to be forgiven of her Fishy Sins is to do the Song and
Dance in the church. But she did not believe me, because she didn’t
want to believe me. And now, look at her out there on the streets,
trying to tell everyone that the Captain loves them and wants to talk to
them. Just silly if you ask me! Just so very silly!”
THE END
For the Captain so loved His Fishbowl that he
gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes
in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For
the Captain did not send his Son into the
Fishbowl to condemn all the little fishes, but to
save all the little fishes through him.
-John 3:16-17
(The Fisherman)
“God created us for a reason. He sent his Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins so that we could be
forgiven. Why? Because, God wants to talk to you and me. So, just talk to him. God’s listening.”
–David Allen Collinsworth
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