H.M.N.Z.T. No, 96.
Frontispiece.
S o l d i e r s ’ P ie
Being the Unofficial
Journal of the
C, D, E & F Coys.
Artillery, Specialists
N.Z.E.
(Tunnellers)
N.Z.M.C. of the
32 nd Reinforcement
E D IT O R IA L S T A F F
E d ito r :
S u b -E d ito rs:
2nd Lieut. L. M. Hughes
Coy. Sergeant-Major G. D. Morpeth
and Corporal W. G. Lovell
THIS
H UM BLE W O R K
ts
Defctcatefc
TO
THOSE
ON WHOM TH E
BU R D E N
OF
m ar
F A L LS
H E A V IE ST ,
©ur Momettfolfe
-------- --
J
*
W IS H
to
thank
commissioned
a ll
Officers
Officers, ' Z^onand
(Cen
on
board this ship for the way in which they
have carried out their various duties, and’ also
to tell them that I am proud to command
such a smart body o f men.
I trust that they
will continue throughout the campaign as they
have begun, and then they will have proved
themselves worthy o f joining one o f the finest
c.Divisions now fighting, with a record second
to none.
I wish them all the very best o f health,
a prosperous career and a safe return.
C. J l . H A W K I N S , Captain ,
Cm dg. 3 1st & 32 nd Reinforcem ents.
H.M.N.Z.T. No. 96.
Farewell Messages to the Commanding Officer o f the
82n d . Reinforcement.
From His Excellency the G o v e r n o r -G e n e r a l
of
N e w Ze a l a n d :
f'H er Excellency and myself wish you and all under your command
“ a prosperous voyage and a safe return.”
From His Worship the M a y o r
of
W e l l in g t o n :
<
“ His Worship the Mayor of Wellington conveys to all troops the
“ good wishes
of himself and the citizens of Wellington for a
“ good voyage and a safe return to New Zealand.”
E D IT O R IA L N O T E
When >the responsibility of preparing this Magazine was allotted to us, we
took up the task gladly', being as yet unschooled in the manifold duties its
preparation would entail.
*
*
*
*
Difficulties beset us from the first : not the least of these was our own ignorancev
of journalistic method. Then, too, we were able to allow our contributors only
a week for the preparation of their work. Though many other very relevant
problems presented themselves, the two mentioned will, we imagine, be sufficient
to allay criticism, which, if conditions had not been so untoward, had been richly
deserved.
*
*
*
*
Our plan has been simple, our ambition neither very high nor very low. Where
other drafts have aimed at producing magazines containing literary matter.of
such a nature as could interest only members of the drafts concerned, we have
attempted to produce an illustrated magazine which, though not of so great local
interest as others, will be the more enjoyed in New Zealand and .will be kept by
our kith there in memory of us. We have attempted, then, to be local only in so
far as the occasion demands. As regards our ambition, we found that talent,
time and money are required to produce anything really good. We hope the
reader will see from these pages that talent has not been altogether wanting ;
but time and money we could get only in very meagre quantities ; so, while being
unwilling to publish anything really bad, we have had to content ourselves with
publishing something we would not dare to call good.
The response to our call for contributions arid the interest taken in our
journal were' remarkable. That we have not produced a Magazine much larger
and much better is due to lack of the two essentials mentioned before.
*
*
*
*
A few weeks will pass and the formation of which this is the unofficial and
unreliable record will be broken up ; the men composing it will never reassemble
— of that, Fate and the enemy will make sure. A month or two and we step into
the arena wherein is being fought the greatest war of all times. Of each of us
Fate will take some t o ll: youth it may be, or limb or life— no matter what,
so long as England lives. . . . But some of us will surely re-cross the blue
and sight Aotearoa again.
*
*
*
*
If, in the far future, the sight of these pages brings back for a moment the light
to dimmed eyes ; or if the sight of a tattered and dusty volume carries minds
back to those comrades with whpm, in years long passed, they voyaged away from
IO
SOLDIERS’ PIE
their country’s shores for Honour’s sake ; if then they think with tenderness of
these present days of sadness and mirth, then the reward for our humble labours
will be a hundred-fold our deserts.
In conclusion, we have to thank all those who, whether their contributions
.were accepted, or not, did their best to assist us in our endeavour to make this
Magazine a success ; of these mention must be made of A. C. Hipwell and V. W.
Lindauer, to whom we are indebted for the illustrations.
We must also remark that we have—contrary to precedent—printed a poem
and a prose article, both of which have been culled from magazines and sent
us by members of the draft. The poem is " Dear Little Home of Mine,” the
prose article “ A Kb'd Hot Lecture.” . For the latter we have rendered thanks
in the text ; the publishers of the former are unknown to us, but we thank them
in anticipation of their permission to reprint stheir poem. We hope that the
inclusion of these two pieces will in no way detract from the value of this
Magazine as that of a reinforcement draft.
SOLDIERS5 PIE
n
TALE OF A CHRONICLER
And -it. came to pass that the bold Sir Charles did'decide to collect a score
of gallant knights, half a hundred esquires, a thousand lusty henchmen, and
to' journey to the Great War, which was being held in the far country of Europe,
in and around the kingdom of* Albert, of Belgium, who at this time was sorely
beset b y a Great Grey Flood of Barbarians, who came from the Kingdom of
Prussia.
And the gallant Sir Charles gathered his men together and spoke words of
warning, saying that it ..was a perilous venture upon which they had set forth,
and great honour was to be won thereat, whereupon they cried aloud and said,
“ t o ! let us get busy ! ”
Now this Army was -of different tribes, yea, even his knights were of different
origin. ' A full forty score were men who feared nought and fought on foot against
all and sundry, yea, even against work, of which, however, they were wary.
' These were the men of the Infantry and were propelled from one place into
another “ per Boot.”
After them came a curious tribe who were of the Artil-lerie, and these
did cause much laughter to the other tribes by vaunting that they were of Higher
Caste than all others. These were known far and wide by the odour of the
stables which pervaded them, yea, even far out at sea, the faint insidious smell
still clung to them, and by it they were known.
A tribe there was of Mystic Fighters who fought with flags and “ buzzers/’
and it hath been said that the enemy on sighting them at their Mystic Craft h ave)
gotten alarmed and said hurriedly, “ Let us beat it ! ”
These were from the tribe of “ Waggers and Buzzers,” and stood aloof muchly
and said nothing, which is a wise course when one knoweth nothing, or is possessed
of any Beer. Gathered there also were Machine Gunners, who were skilled in
hurriedly squirting nickel at distant objects, such as hills and clouds, to the Greater
Glory of the Enemy and the Ammunition Company.
Of lesser renown there was the Medical Corps, who were small in numbers
and of little account, at This Stage of the Game, but more of them later on, Alas !
And I haste to tell thee of the Crew, as merry a set of rascals as ever cut a
throat or stole a shirt, but being skilled in the Mysteries of Steam, they were
borne patiently with.
This great Army then being gathered together upon the Feast of St Edmund,
they did take ship, but not before it was found that three or four had arisen and
“ faded.”
And the crew did ply their tasks, and with all manner of shouting did proceed
to put to sea, and when the men did espy their wives and sweethearts upon the
further shore and Upon beholding them a-weeping and a-waving of kerchiefs, they
shouted back to them to be of good cheer, but unto themselves they agreed that
the “ war was a fair cow.”
And as the great ship did slowly turn to the open sea, .the Red Caps gathered
12
SOLDIERS’ PIE
upon the pier did agree that it was a cruel war and murmured softly “ comeandhaveabeer,” and they did.
But the great Army gathered upon the deck did watch their Country slowly
fade away into the sunset, and when it had vanished from their sight, some were
SO LD IERS’ PIE
*3
sad, but for the most part they were of good heart and sang lustily of wine, and
of a girl in Tennessee, which was passing strange, seeing that they knew nought of
that far Country.
Ere morning dawned they were as men who lay sick unto death,
but of their Misery and of the two long days which followed I will not
speak, for the^ were soon well and strong and of light heart. And they
journeyed on.
And I must tell thee of a strange procession, which, before the hour of noon
each day, made a great Pilgrimage into the Bowels of the Ship. At the head
marched a trumpeter who blew blasts upon his trumpet and caused sundry
dwellers in the gloom to hasten up ladders to the decks. Then followed a great
party
The Old Man, The Sea o’ Troops, The Adj and the 2nd and the 3rd Ad]s,
The Medicine Man, The Awdly officer, The Quarter Master, The O See Unit,
The Ship’s Sarnt Majaw, and His Friend the Coy Sarnt Majaw, and so with due
solemnity and much singing of praises this noble army would slowly wind down
dormitory and hatch. . But on one evil day the Old Man, tripping lightly along a
Deck, did stop of a sudden and smiting his brow-did stare upon the floor, with
torch held on high, and did cry aloud “ Groundarmsroundmedouble,” and the
others did cluster round, and when they saw whereat he gazed, they fell back
aghast and muttered " Gorblime ! ”
For upon the snow-white boards there was Dirt. And when they recovered
somewhat they did form a Court of Enquiry, and the sentence being promulgated,
they did sing a “ Hymn of Hate,” and the Sarnt Majaw did catch the first man he
saw, and they fell upon him with scowls and torches and he trembled and stood
still; but they sentenced that ere the morning sun had risen he be shot with a
pistol full of fat, whereat he wept and thought of his child and Ten Little Wives
in far off N.Z. And they shot him.
And upon a certain afternoon, when the sun was yet high in the heavens
the men being lain upon the decks as was their wont, one of their number did espy
a white spot 'afar up in the sky, and they did fall to and dispute fiercely as to
what manner of thing it was. And it did keep still in the heavens, awhile some said
it 'was a bird, others claimed that it was a Star, whereupon a sailor said it was a
“ Zeppeleen,” whereat all retired somewhat hastily under the awning. But it
parsed and they saw it no more.
At night they would lie upon the decks and gaze at the stars or dream of home
or listen to strange tales recounted by the crew, who told of the wonders, of the
deep. One such monster then was a Tin Fish which it was said attacked ships
arid sank them by pushing its head against the hull, when its brains exploded with
great violence and blew a hole in the side of the ship. And the men wondered
deeply and thought it was indeed a strange War.
‘ .
And so by night the ship pushed swiftly on, and by day it crept slowly across
the Ocean, as though not wishing to be seen, yea, like unto a man who with but
sixpence in his pocket is outside a Pub.
And I tell thee that in due season they may arrive at the Great War, there
to Fight and Play the Great Game to Win that their lives may be long in the
lands of their Ancestors.
H
SOLDIERS’ PIE
“ FALL IN FOR CANTEEN TICKETS’’
The men fall in with amazing alacrity. No man has to be crimed for being
late on parade.
“ Private Bill Adams,” calls the O.C.
“ Here, sir,” answers Bill, as he springs to attention. He steps out- of the
ranks, accepts the coupons handed to him, salutes in his most respectful style,
and walks briskly away, looking as pleased as Punch.
Every man is called out in turn, the A’s and B’s getting in first as usual, the
Y’s and Z’s having to wait till the end. But canteen tickets, value several bob,
are worth waiting for, and the men at the bottom of the list do not complain—
for once.
The money represents canteen profits accrued while the draft was in camp,
and comes in very handy. .
There must be something inflammable about these tickets, for they seem to
burn holes in the men’s pockets, and the. recipients make a raid on the canteeil
first opportunity.
The O-fence Department is to be commended for conducting the canteen on
lines that permit of a divi. beiftg handed out to the men who patronise it.
C orpo ral L
HOME THOUGHTS FROM ABROAD
We’re all aboard the lugger
And the sea is Prussian blue,
And there’s not a speck of land to see
And not a thing to do.
We sit and write and think, and
We wish th a t we could go
Back to some dusty, grimy town,
Back to the land we know.
The ocean air is purer,
And poets love the foam ;
B ut give to me Colonial girls
And my New Zealand home.
ovell.
i6
SO LD IERS’ PIE
“ A RED HOT LECTU R E 55
The following Lecture was given by a British Sergeant to his Platoon during
instruction in Bayonet fighting. We reprint it from the Saturday Evening Post,
the publishers of which we thank in anticipation of their permission.
“ And then, while the bombardment is still goin’ on as ’ard as ever, word
comes that ye’re to go over the top at such and such a minute.
<f As the hour approaches the officers keep lookin’ at their wrist watches,
and the time don’t seem to go very fast. Be a man ! Don’t begin thinkin’ of
’ome ; but think what the Germans are tryin’ to do to the worl’ ! Think what
they’ll do to yer if they get yer down.
“ Think of their baby killin’ and their Belgian slaves and their Armenian
massacres, and their burnin'* and pillagin’ and be damn thankful that yer have
got a chance to do something toward stoppin’ all that kind of thuggery for good
an’ all.
“ Don’t stand with yer knees shakin’ and yer eyes quiverin’ ; but grind your
teeth and think of the way they’re makin’ people suffer everywhere with their
Kultur and their ‘ Me und Gott ’ !
“ And so, about a minute before the time to go, yer wants to say to yerself :
‘ The time has come for me to do my bit. It’s going to be a rough party ; but
I’m goin’ to make it damn sight rougher for the Boche than for me ! ’
“ So with your teeth grittin’, yer eyes poppin’ out, yer ’air standin’ on end,
and yer bayonet fixed, ye’re ready to go over the top when the time comes and the
order is given.
“ And when she comes-don’t wait a secon’ for yer chums on right or left, but
clamber over the top, and all go at once, like a British lion after ’is grub.”
By this time the recruits* are enthralled by the words of the veteran sergeant,
who has gradually worked himself up into a state of rage and feels himself actually
starting across No Man’s Land. His teeth are gritting, his hair is on end. He
parses ; and the silence is heavy.
“ Drills, theories, textbooks, manoeuvres are all right in their w a y ; but the
bayonet is the thing that wins the battles. And the soldier who does the winnin’ is
generally a sweaty one, with ’is sleeves rolled up, mud on ’is face and blood in ’is eye.
“ Th’ order comes. Over yer go ! Y e’re absolutely goin’ mad. Yer have
yer objective and make straight for it, searchin’ the ground on the way. Yer
may be got by a sniper and the ’Un’s shrapnel will be singin’ all round yer, but
don’t wait for anybody else to start puttin’ ’Uns out of their misery. Yer may
come across a 'ungry ’Un, about seven foot six high, waitin’ for yer in a shell ’ole
or round a machine gui*. Fly strite for ’im !<’ Don’t tickle ’im with your bayonet
but shove it into ’im— point, barrel, left ’and, right ’and, and even butt— right
through ’is guts.
“ Now ye’ve got it in ye’ve got to pull it out. So put a little more than
’uman force be’ind it— out it comes ! And when that’s done don’t tarry and think
of writin’ a letter ’ome about it.1 Yer ain’t done yet. That’s only yer first
’Un ; and yer goes for another, always lookin’ round and ’avin’ in mind yer
objective,, accordin’ to orders. If yer sees a ’Un ’idin’, pounce on ’im like a bally
------------ -----SOLDIERS’
PIE
_t
!7
tiger and carry out the same ole program. There's a ’ell of a lot of noise goin’
on ; but don’t stop, for if you stops ye'll get no mercy ; and the mercy yer wants
to give the ’Un is yer little bit of steel, as far into him as yer can stick it. If yer
can't use a bayonet yer might as well fall down a drainpipe and get off the earth.
And if the ’Un gets yer, yer won't be buried with music, and all that. Oh!
no ! First, he'll pick yer, pockets, tike away any little thing yer 'ave worth
tikin' ; and then yer body goes to the ovens, where they’ll cook yer, and use
yer fat to make nitro-glycerin and oleomargarine out of ! I t ’s bally aw ful;
but that's w hat'appens.
“ So yer wants to show the fightin’ spirit ; and there's no fightin’ spirit in a
snail. Keep yer 'air on end, and always ’ave yer teeth grindin', and stay mad ;
And when yer sees the 'Uns runnin’, as yer often will, chase ’em madder than
when yer first started.”
’ERB : ■
LOOK, BILL, S O L D IE R S !”
' (The point will be lost w ithout th is subscription.)
i8
So l d i e r s ’
p ie
SPASMS OF A SPECIALIST
We’re the latest thing in soldiers this spec’list Companee,
And since we left New Zealand’s shores to cross the briny sea,
We’ve-learnt a lot of funny things we never knew before
Such as tacking sideways when you’re sailing for a door,
For the ship is always rolling to the movement of the sea,
And you get a whizzy feeling in the region of the tea.
B ut these things are sent to try us, so we do not mope or grieve,
B ut think of all the happy times we had on final leave.
For the Specialists are but human,.they like their bit of fun,
But the signallers are the limit, they fairly take the bun.
Now, one of them, Ben Martin,* a sailor ought to be,
’Cause he’s never felt the funny feeling peculiar to the sea.
Then there is Dicky Sharnan like a porpoise sore distressed,
Suffering from contortions, and noises in the chest.
Next comes Andy Rennie, the Marconi Wireless boy,
Who killed ten thousand Germans with a British saveloy.
In turn comes Private Woodham, number five, eight, six, six, six,
Who keeps us in amusement with his natural monkey tricks.
Then there’s Dicky Hickey, the budding N.C.O.,
Who, to fight for his beer and skittles, enlisted six times you know.
Now comes Lance-Corporal Blomfield, the hero of the day,
While coming back from Masterton, he lost his blooming way.
He was coming home to Fernside, when he wandered off the track,
And his comrades found him lying with a tree across his back.
Last comes Jack Ahern and Doctor, the 44 Boy with the Golden Head,”
The only thing they’re noted for is the way they 44 swing the lead.” .
B ut putting jokes aside, boys, they know we’ll do our best
To uphold the reputation of our pals away out West.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
*9
N.Z. ENGINEERS (TUNNELLERS)
We make no apologies and, no excuses for the following contributions. Some
are humorous, some are meant to be funny, and a few are written in serious vein.
These also should be treated as a joke.
We wish to state at the outset that we are under a distinct disadvantage
through the absence of Sapper McPhee, the Company's joker. However, having
discovered a certain amount of talent, we hope to make good in other directions.
Lance-Corporal Fifield has kindly consented to enter into an eating com­
petition against all comers ; the only condition attached to this bout is th at the
Lance-Jack insists that in the event of his being challenged by an officer he will
be promoted to the officers’ mess to contest the event. Those of the Tunnellers
who have seen the Lance-Jack operating, at the mess table feel sure th at the
honour of the Corps is safe in his hands.
Sapper Creamer, alias “ the Fat Boy,” being of a very “ retiring” disposition,
begs to nominate himself to sleep longer and sounder than any man on board.
It is on record that the Sapper remained quite undisturbed whilst the .Specialists
who live over the way held their “ concert ” last Monday night.
Sappers Webb, Ryan, and Ralph when interviewed by our representative
were found to be so. upset by the report that all pubs are to be closed at the next
port, that it was quite impossible to get them to take interest in anything at
all, their time being occupied in consoling* one another.
The next to hop into the limelight is Sapper Morris, who holds the champion­
ship for skipping. He declares himself willing to meet any man aboard bar the
skipper himself.
Langbein, the genial sergeant of Tunnellers,. smiled confidently when we
nominated Bridge as his “ long suit ” ; we warn intending competitors that the
“ Sarge ” is “ hot stuff.” He reckons that the best “ hand ” he ever played was
in Dunedin, on his final leave. On this occasion he says “ hearts were trum ps.”
Sapper Roseingrave has *kindly consented to give an exhibition as a con­
tortionist. Although the Sapper has only acquired this art since coming on
board, he has already arrived at a state, of proficiency. We understand that
“ Rosy v has resigned his important position .as Mess Orderly in order to devote
more time to his hobby. .
Sapper George is willing to concede a few points to anybody who will enter
into an argument with him. ^ He opines that elocution is his strong point. We
believe he once talked Major Mounsey into issuing hiper an extra pair of boot-laces.
Then last but not least is -Corporal Torrey, the Gisborne Gun, who is w illin g to
C 2
I
20
SOLDIERS’ PIE
wrestle with anything on board. The last bout the Corporal had was with a
' piece of Salt Horse, a strenuous “ go,” but the Corporal’s wonderful tenacity
pulled him through with something to spare.
Nominations for all events close on 30th Nov.
Keen disappointment was felt amongst the Tunnellers when they embarked
at'the supposed absence of Sergeant-Major Bartley. The Sergeant-Major was,
however, discovered on board disguised in a “ Sam Browne ” and tan boots.
Rumoured that Sappers Bassett and Elliot finished dead heat for first place
when the alarm sounded last Saturday. The Sappers give the rumour the lie
direct and call the Tunnellers to witness that they are invariably last for all
parades, excepting of course the “ Cookhouse Call.”
Sapper Febey, the Taumaranui Pug, wishes to contradict the rumour that
the striking resemblance he bears to Jack Johnson was not the reason he had
his head shaved.
The many friends of Sapper Webb will be pleased to hear that he is recovering
rapidly from his indisposition and may be heard relating his reminiscences to a
select few in his dug-out, alias the “ Chambre d’horreur.” The Sapper also
wishes to take this opportunity to make it known that he is not the inventor
of the Webb equipment; this applies particularly to men in the, ranks.
W E TH O U G H T —
W e thought we knew our geography and th at
we should, have no difficulty in locating our
whereabouts, but lately we have discovered
th a t it is true th at once
“ I used to think I knew I knew,
B u t now I must confess
The more I know I know I know
I know I know the less.”
(At least about this trip.)
W e’ve got an O.G. in our B a t
Whom you always m ay know b y his h a t ;
He shouts “ Odd numbers p rove/’
“ As you were,” “ N ot a m ove,”
Or I ’ll land you all on the mat.
32 N .Z .F .A .
P a r t i c u l a r s of speed of Transport No. — •
are strictly censored, but we have reason to
believe she is “ some ship.”
H er best performance was recorded on a recent
night when a certain Quartermaster-Sergeant
was in charge. Those who know the Quarter
will not be surprised to learn th at, in addition
to his skill as a cowboy, he has studied naviga­
tion. On the night in question he agreed to
relieve the officer on the bridge.
A course was set for a star on the horizon and
the officer went below. Rum our says th a t barely
an hour had passed when the Quarter called
down the tube “ I -want another star— I ’ve
passed th a t one.”
There is an old buffer called Blazer
Whose blast is a perfect hair-raiser.
His yarns th e y are risky,
His voice reeks of whisky,
And his methods would fairly amaze yer.
N .Z .F .A .
SOLDIERS’ PIE
21
ALLEGED HUMOUR
Artilleryman (to Infantryman) : f< But you must understand th at we must
have nothing at all to do with you fellows in other units.”
Infantryman : “ Quite gracious of you. There will be no friendships to break
when we go to the front.”
Overheard by the Y.M.C.A. fire at Trentham : One of the latest recruits in
an aggrieved tone : “ I can’t understand why the ordinary soldier is called a
4private.’ What with the way we sleep, medical inspection and bathing parades,
there’s damned little privacy about it.”
The paternal parent of one of the 32nds had occasion to ride in a Wellington
cab the other day, and observing the apparent absence of breeding and poor
action of the horse, he remarked : “ Your horse don’t seem to have much blood
in him, Cabby.”
“ 1 don’t know about th a t,” said the Cabby. “ The last man I drove said
he was the bloodiest horse he ever saw.”
On a certain transport a lecturer stated that the men forming a patrol are
placed in charge of an N.C.O. or a reliable man, and he placed so much emphasis
on the word “ reliable ” that some of his pupils now take it for granted that
N.C.O.’s are not to be trusted.
Mr. Huntingdon and the Medical Officer disagreed in an argument concerning
the value of the various arms.
'
Mr. H. (hotly) : “ One thing I will admit : Infantry don’t stand in the same
street with the medical corps for killing men.”
Officer to Sentry : “ What do you do in the case of fire ? -Raise the alarm
and jump overboard ? ”
Sentry : “ Oh, no, I tell the bloke on the balcony (bridge) first.”
A heated discussion was in progress on the forward' deck. Suddenly a voice
exclaimed : “ Well, we’re steaming a different course from yesterday, because
this horizon is nearer than th at1one.”
22
SOLDIERS’ PIE
Sergeant to Private F l a n n a g a n “ Well, Flannagan, how are you n o w ? ”
“ Faith and I ’m good now, Sergeant.” “ And what do you think of all this ?.”
“ Well, be jabbers, I ’m thinking there’s a fine lot of flat country about here.”
After an hour’s instruction on the Rifle, the instructor started asking questions.
Pointing to one bright youth, he asked: “ How many rounds does your rifle
hold ? ” He collapsed when he received the reply :
“ Ten in the little tin and one in the tunnel, sir.”— X I Hussars Journal.
A troop oificer was instructing his recruits in the uses and names of the parts
of the army saddle. When he had finished he inquired if anyone had any
questions to a§k.
One-smart recruit who had previcDus experience of saddles asked why the
surcingle was used. The' officer with all due gravity replied that owing to the
large number of amusing episodes the horses were subjected to when out with
recruits, it had been found necessary to provide surcingles in order to prevent
them bursting their sides laughing.—X I Hussars Journal.
Scene : Afternoon. Enter Canteen fatigue man with box of rubbish,- papers,
etc. Throws rubbish to the winds'.
E Company’s Pessimist (gloomily) : “ E Company’s mail, I suppose.”
“ Private Blank there ? ” called the chaplain at Trentham one night, prepara­
tory to arranging an impromptu concert, for the boys of the 32nd. No answer.
“ Private Blank there ? ” he repeated. A plaintive voice from the middle of the
hall conveyed the reason of the singer’s absence. “ Died of wounds,” it announced.
The 3^nds had only been in camp a few days when this item was read out in
Company Orders. “ No more applications for transfers will be considered.”
“ Oh, H—1,” complained a man in D Company, “ and I ’d applied for Kitchener’s
job too.”
. At Featherston one Sunday night the Salvation Army chaplain was beginning
his informal evening service. Groups of soldiers were scattered over the h,alL
“ Come up here to the front,” he said in his’cheerful voice. “ Concentrate up
here so that we can lift the roof off when we sing. You chaps at the back there—
come up here. Remember,” he added, “ the back seats are reserved for C.B.
men ! ”
SOLDIERS’ PIE
23
On joining the Army one hears hackneyed jests about “ stew for breakfast,
stew for dinner and stew for te a /’ but when I landed in Trentham I was genuinely
pleased to get stew, and did not mind how often it was served, for one night, when
a mere civilian, I'd heard a soldier (he was a bit tight certainly) say : “ What
do they feed us on ? Dogsh biscuits andsh gun-oil! ”
Lecturing is a favourite pastime among officers. A well-known sub.
recently gave a lecture on sanitation and dilated extensively on dangers of flies
and their ferocity in carrying disease from, one man to another. When, at the
conclusion, he asked for questions, an officer with a mind for detail as practised in
the Army arose and asked what would be the procedure if an officer discovered a
fly in the trenches. The lecturer'arose, took a deep breath, and replied as follows :
“ You would at once procure Army Form B 392.07^ and make out a report
in quadruplicate as follows : Fly, number, species, length overall, colour,
married or single, age, what disease it was carrying, time and length of visit ;
and after filling in the remarks column you would forward one copy to each of
the following : Battalion, Brigade and Divisional Headquarters, and to H.Q.
Flying Corps.”
Scene : “ E ” Company’s Deck. Church parade falling in.
Sergeant : ■
“ Fall in there, Blank.”
Private Blank : “ Oh, I ’m excused all fatigues, Sergeant ! ”
24
SOLDIERS’ PIE
THE GREENHORN AT SEA
I never 5ave done much sailin’ myself,
On a compass I ’m quite in the dark,
I ’aven’t the ’ang of these ’ome-goin’ craft,
An’ a dingy is more my mark.
B ut I likes fer to sit on the bowsprit,
Or to gazle at the sea from the ra ils;
An’ I likes fer to watch them albatross birds,
But, Gorblimey ! I ’m frightened of whales !
I ’ve ’eard poets rave o’ the briny,
They calls it the 44 Wave ” and the 44 Blue ” ;
B ut why the ’ell don’t it stay steady ?
I arsts a straight question of you.
I admits it is biggish an’ awesome,
An’ these liners can travel right quick,
B ut does a chap think of its beauties
When it ’eaves, ’im about till ’e’s sick ?
SO LDIERS’ PIE
25
PHYSICAL DRILL
A suggested new exercise to relieve sea-sickness, the awful monotony of
“ Arms bend,” Heels raise,” and “ Left foot sideways place,” etc., by Corporal
Don G. Esses, Physical Drill Instructor, N.Z. Dead Marines.
T r u n k E x e r c is e .
Benefit of Exercise.— Generally to improve state of health when aboard ship,
to increase the appetite, and at the same time to strengthen the muscles of the
stomach.
The Instructor will first line his squad up on the deck, one. pace distant from
the outer rail, taking care to see that every man occupies a lateral space of not
less than 96 inches. (N o t e .— In windy or stormy weather, it may be found
necessary to increase the above lateral space ; this to be at the discretion of the
■Instructor.)
.
1
First Command.— “ One pace forward march ! ”
The whole will take the required pace to bring them as close as possible to
the outer rail.
On the cofrimand “ Hands up ! ” all will smartly raise the hands and place
them the width of the shoulders apart, and palms downward on the top of the
rail, fingers kept close together. Eyes should be looking their own height and
straight to the front. .
Next command.— “ On the heels raise and head forward bend ! ” the men
will slowly raise themselves ontip-toe, bending the body slightly forward, allowing
the greater part of its weight to be taken by the hands resting on the rail. At
the same time the head, should bend forward and downward until the eyes rest
upon a point in the ocean, anything from two to three feet distant from the ship’s
side.
On the command “ Go ! ” every man will open his mouth to the full extent,
allowing the tongue to protrude slightly, and endeavour to resemble a dead
goldfish, while a long drawn sound, “ Ah ! ” should be made in the throat as in
“ swabbing.” The benefit of the exercise will then be made apparent.
On the command “ Steady ! ” the stomach should be allowed to relax and the
tongue to assume its normal position.
The Instructor should keep his squad at the exercise by repeating the
commands “ G o ! ” and “ Steady!” alternately until every man has derived full
benefit from it.
. On the command “ Stand clear,” all will spring smartly back to the position'
of attention and' the right-hand man will extend his right arm to the. front and
glance along the line to the left.
The rest of the squad will turn their head and eyes to the right. When the
right hand man is satisfied that everyone is ready, his arm should be lowered
smartly, whereupon the whole squad will take a pace to the rear, pick up their
dressing and stand at ease. This exercise should be well practised by those who
are “ bad sailors ” ,and go .below on the first day out or.in very stormy weather.
Company Commanders would also greatly increase “ Number on Parade,” Column
of Daily State and at the same time relieve the ship’s doctors of a great deal of
work if they thinned out the bad sailors on Sick Parade on the first two or three
days out.
26
SOLDIERS’ PIE
A SOLDIER’S WILL
The following extracts from the will of a New Zealand soldier who was recently
in hospital, but, luckily, escaped alive, appear of unusual interest.
To private soldiers, jointly, I leave thick skins, capacity for long-suffering,
appetite and digestion for all kinds of rough food, together with smartness,
machine-like regularity and precision at drill, and all other things likely to preserve
them from the wrath of their seniors. Also large canteen allotments.
To all non-commissioned officers I give a day of 30 hours instead of the usual
24 and untiring energy wherewith to perform their manifold tasks ; tact and
patience in their contact with both officers and men, and the former shall
occasionally flatter them by familiar names and genial converse, but in no such
degree as to render them abnormally vain or conceited. To all sergeants and
corporals X devise powers for captivation of the fair sex, especially those known
as flappers, who can, doubtless, give them much wholesome advice, but at the
same time they are admonished not to forget entirely their wives while on
active service.
<
To Commissioned Officers under the rank of Colonel.I bequeath nobility of
mind, high courage and docile subordinates, together with increased mess allow­
ance and ability to sleep during the day as well as at night, and aught else they
may need imposingly and comfortably to hold their positions for the full term
of their Service and without any encumbrance or care.
To the Enemy who has caused me to make these bequests at a somewhat early
age, I leave all the overpowering and gassing effects of the entire vocabulary of
swear and curse words I have acquired in my career as a soldier in the New Zealand
Force, to enjoy without let or hindrance.
v
SOLDIERS’ PIE
27
THINGS WE WANT TO KNOW
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Has a certain young subaltern yet succeeded in having his photograph taken
with his platoon ?
^
Does Lieut. M-r-d-th K-ye propose to wash out hosing in future and substitute
the study of hosiery ? Also, is
he a connoisseur of the latter ?
Where does our Irish subaltern
get his tips on navigation ?
Does his cabin-mate personally
illustrate lines of latitude ?
Have “ C ” Company cold feet, or
are they merely afraid of cold
water ?
In view of his popularity with an
Infantry Company, is a certain
specialist officer about to take
cookery lessons from the chief
cook ?
Is it a fact that Lieut. H- -11 has
been seen gambling with the
men in the dormitories ?
Is the C.O. aware that artillery
officers are using their allowance
of fresh water for th e .purpose of
washing the ceiling of the music
room ? If not, we suggest that
it would be better employed
in improving the appearance of
these “ nootrals.”
Is it a fact that Capt. Hunter was
seen assisting the men to fold
their blankets at reveille ?
Has the Adjutant succeeded in
obtaining a sure cure for sea­
sickness ?
Is 2nd Loot. McL-u-l-n the author
of “ Innocence Abroad ” ?
Is it a fact that Lieut. P-n-f-ld is
a large shareholder in the Rona
Bay Ferry Company ?
Is the Bosun teaching Lieut. Price how to swim when dressed in pantaloons
and puttees, and has the ship’s carpenter received instructions to stand
by with an auger ?
28
SOLDIERS’ PIE
13. - Has the O.C. “ D ” Company yet succeeded in splicing the main brace ?
14. Is Lieut. C-x terribly jealous in view of his brother’s part in a recent Divine
Service ?
15. In view of ship-board experience does an ex-Bank Inspector propose after
the war to enter into partnership with the well-known Wellington firm,
Sing on Kee, Ltd. ?
16. In view of a recent lecture, will some Platoon Commander kindly inform
2nd Lieut. D-k-s as to the duties of a Company Commander ?
17. Can the latest Edison Diamond Disc Gramophone compete with Lieut.
Stra-n ?
18. How did the Oh See Troops come to be attached to the Cheshire Bantams ?
19. Is the P.M.O. taking lessons in voice production ?
, 20. Who elected the Sports Committee ? And when is it going to wake up ?
21. Why was the Rev. B-t-y absent from so many meals during the first part
of this yachting cruise ?
22. Has Lieut. S—d been seen parading with the troops at 5.15 a.m. for a hose
down ?
23. Did Lieut. P -- -k once arise at reveille ?
24. To which tribe of the “ Great Unwashed ” does “ D ” Company belong ?
25. Is the Editor of this magazine an aspiring “ white hope ” ?
26. Did. “ Sparks ” require repeated assurances of the ship’s stability after a
recent call at Capetown ?
27.. Has the Chief Engineer been commissioned to prepare a topographical map
of Egypt, especially distinguishing between camel-tracks and railwaylines ?
28. Has the C.O. of another troopship forwarded copies of his “ Advice to
Junior Officers ” to “ Funny Cuts ” and " The Brown ’Un ” ?
29. What were the names of the two officers above the rank of Lieutenant
who argued-furiously as to whether a Brigadier-General could be the
adjutant of a regiment ?
30. In what language does a shellback speak when addressing an orderly
officer ?
E d i t o r ’ s N o t e .—The obituary notice of the gentleman making these
inquiries will appear in our next issue.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
29
PERVERTED PROVERBS
By W. G. L.
Early to bed—early to rise—
We all have to do it—in soldier guise.
A stitch in time saves nine—nine blasts for being untidy on parade.
A rolling ship gathers no speed.
Honesty is the best policy, except when you are a shirt “ shy 55 and there
is a kit inspection within the hour.
44 There’s many a .slip ’tw ixt the Pub and the Ship,” quoth the man who
was brought on board a t the last minute by the Military Police.
The proof of the pudding is in the sick parade.
this.)
(Hope the cook won’t see
Someone reckoned a country patriotic society was sending poultry for
our Christmas dinner. A sceptic, who doubts it, and in any case can’t see
how the consignment can reach us by the festive season, says : 44Never count
your chickens before they’re dispatched.”
A bird in the hand’s worth two in the officers’ bakehouse.
COMFORT AND HOPE
There is a day of peace and rest
For Sorrow’s dark and dreary night,.
.Though grief may bide an evening guest,
Yet joy will come with morning light.
The light of smiles will beam again
From lids th a t overflow with tears,
And weary days of woe and pain
Are earnests of serener years.
A. E. Q.
3°
SO LDIERS’ PIE
A NEW ZEALAND ENGINEER’S MEDLEY
B y S a p p e r P ool
The boys of the N.Z.E. (Tunnelling Company) have all just about found their
sea-legs and got over the effects of mal-de-mer, with the exception of Sapper Cox,
who still feels a bit Dickey about the Gills when the boat rolls. He has been
interviewing the chief engineer, who says he must Driver over the Pool as he wants
to get to a port as soon as possible. On account of having so Langbein at sea
and having run out of -Watson's No. 10, he is under strict instructions to Carver
out as quickly as possible.
By George ! when these underground farmers get under the Ryan and Pearce
the German line, they have been promised a Fortune, and if any of the boys, go
down to the unmerciful Hun we will at least be able to put a Roseingrave. Sapper
Webb has issued a challenge to all hands to swim the Channell again on condition
they make the prize a Morris chair, but the general opinion is that Jack is getting
a bit Mouldy.
The Tunnellers also possess a Basset, but the Mess Orderlies object to Sapper •
Morrisey using the jam basin for a ball in the mess room.
Acting Quartermaster-Sergeant Torrie and Sapper Phoebe were indulging in
a bit of sparring on the deck the other night when someone put his Pratt in and
brought along the Johns, who of- course put a stop to it. Rumour has it that
it was Sapper Elliott, but we are quite satisfied that George has not enough energy
for a thing like that.
Our Orderly Sergeant was Larsen looking for his cutlery in the Sergeants'
mess, and after a lot of argument he found what he claimed to be his own.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
31
A SOLDIER’S IMPRESSIONS OF SEA-SICKNESS
The shades of evening had already fallen and we lugged our kits on board.
We had leave and disported ourselves in town and slept on board. Yes, it rained.
All our female friends were barricaded out. Some of the sentimental ones'
amongst us, at that sight, were almost guilty of a lachrymal effusion. Then
there was a scuffle of fair ones and military police, and the tear-dimmed eyes of
the soldiers sparkled, and they yelled, and hooted, but the men of might prevailed.
Another testimony to the strength of the Army.
As we drew out from the wharf, we shouted goodbye, and in the evening as
the vessel was leaving the stream we speculated on our route and sang ; at least,
that was our intention ; however, there was a noise. Well, we went below,
Did we sleep ? Perhaps.
Then what a procession! One fellow would get out timidly, then forget
etiquette and rush to the rail. Then it was someone else’s turn, and he who was,
there first would encourage his successor. “ Go it ! ” “ No need to strain.”
“ Oil is a good thing.” “ Try a little pork ? ” “ Take th at brick out, it’s much
easier if you do.” “ Keep your head below your knees,” etc.- And the unhappy
wretch would gaze round with tears welling out of his eyes, as if in silent reproach,
when a sudden spasm in the abdominal regions would necessitate a further urgent
call, to be accompanied by the jeers, jests, and admonitions of the spectators,
sufferers and non-sufferers alike. Then he desires to return to his bunk. He
takes a pace or two forward^hen another twitch, a call to the rail is again required,
and—finish. This is one of those occasions when movement is neither delectable
nor desirous. Stillness seems indispensable. True relief this time. He
endeavours to return ; at every step there’s a curious sensation. One’s foot
meets the deck suddenly—it’s kind of friendly, and ingratiatingly makes
advances—then the other foot becomes starter, and he nearly does a somersault,
trying to reach the deck, which has gone from below him to some extent.
Then one side of the cabin embraces him rather roughly, and he feels a sudden
impulse, altogether involuntary, to see the other side. Really, the ship is rude,
and the waves have no sense of decency or pity.
Ah ! at last he has reached his bunk, and grasps its edges lovingly and sways
with the motion of the boat as if he were drunk—clutching a lamp-post for a
fond wifey. He looks at it longingly. Falls in—smiles contentedly.
However, he has a vacuum. [Someone says, “ Have a -chocolate? here’s
some cake,” etc. ; perhaps he forgets to be polite when greedily accepting any
delicacy. Then, soon the wild scramble to the rail again, the other fellows’
ideas of humour, the heaving and receding ship, and the Circe-like temptations
for fond embraces.
He crawls back to his bunk, no animation left,, his vitality snapped. Sub­
marines have no terror now, even existence is doubtful. Food is an abomination.
His face is jaundiced, the eyes have lost their lustre, and listlessness takes its
place. No ; he could not be charmed by the presence of his f i a n c e There are
continuous, mysterious rumblings inside, and some unfeeling medical orderly
suggests three grains of calomel! They laugh. If we are comfortable, we never
think of the other. One’s own skin comes first always ! Are not we soldiers
callous ?
SOLDIERS’ PIE
32
“ A L FY 55
Everyone in D Company knows A lfy.
H e’s a queer stick-—quite a character.
If Dickens were aboard he’d write 274 pages about him.
A lfy lived on a little farm, in a remote corner of the North Island.
He has
seen thirty or more summers, but his manner suggests a boy of half that age.
Though blessed with a good education and very intelligent in many respects,
he reminds one of the simple back-blocks boy rather than the city lad of to-day.
He is shy, modest and nervous.
In many matters he hesitates to act on his
own initiative, and will seek out someone sympathetic (or presumably sympa­
thetic) to advise him on some point or other.
He is a trustful soul and inclined to put too much faith in human nature.
The men take advantage of this trait and make him the butt of many jokes.
A lfy takes these jokes in good part— he?s the quintessence of good nature— and
after laughing at one joke against him will fall to another one in the next minute.
In all seriousness he said to one of us one day, “ I ’m going to ask Mr. -----(one of our officers) if I can dine with him to-night.
Other men have been to
dinner with him, and I don’t see why I shouldn’t have dinner with him to-night,
do you ? ”
Someone had pitched this tale to A lfy and he’d accepted it as a true
bill.
Another day he was on the hurricane deck, studying one of the big air tubes
leading into the bowels of the ship.
“ These things are speaking tubes,” he
explained to a near-by N.C.O. “ They give their orders to the men in the engineroom through them.”
The N.C.O. felt someone had extended his nether limb
a bit too far and gave a truthful reason for the existence of these big gaping
funnels.
During the first practices on the butts some of A lfy ’s shots went wide— away
to the right— probably caused through pulling the trigger instead of pressing
it.
When his platoon commander, Lieut. McL., asked him how he fired he took
on a serious look and said he couldn’t understand why his shots leapt away to
the right.
“ You want to put a kirik in the barrel,” smiled the officer, “ to
remedy that— a slight twist near the muzzle.
Better see the O.C. about it.”
SOLDIERS’ PIE
33
Alfy didn’t notice the smile and went across to the O.C. to explain the peculiarity
in his rifle. The O.C. listened patiently and referred him to the Sergeant-Major,
who, taking up the joke, said he’d have to go to the Armoury. There is nothing
authentic on record that he did go to the Armourer, so we assume he reasoned
the thing'out and concluded there was no need to get his rifle adjusted.
When a few days out the fire alarm suddenly sounded. The men made a
wild rush down the narrow stairs and narrower corridors to grab their lifebelts.
They had not had any lectures or drill about what to do in the case of alarm,
but most of them had been discussing the question and were half-expecting an
alarm. Not so Alfy. He was suddenly bewildered by a mad rush of men, and,
; though standing dumfounded, got tangled up in the surging crowd. “ The
: ship’s sinking,” someone told Alfy, while others announced in dramatic tones
that the boat had been torpedoed. Alfy turned white and fought desperately
along the passages to secure his-lifebelt. When he got on to the stairs there was
a deuce of a jamb, and as the minutes flew by his nervous anxiety increased.
~“ Hurry up, Alfy,” growled someone behind him, vainly endeavouring to push
him through the struggling crowd. “ The ship’s going down—it’ll be down in
two minutes.” Alfy’s face blanched. Trembling with nervousness, he finally
k reached the deck, and as he did so he gave a gasp. The steamer was just falling
i into a trough and Alfy thought the end had come.' Then, indistinctly, he heard
it the roll being called, and, noticing that the ship still moved along the ocean’s
surface he realised he’d been hoaxed. But he swears solemnly that “ other
fellows didn’t tumble to the alarm and their faces were white as death.”
el-:
\
[1:4 One could pen similar instances of how they make Alfy the victim of jokes,
:i but sufficient has been written to describe him to you.
As mentioned, Alfy is a genial, good-natured, good-tempered soul—everyone
ji recognises that. We regard him as a mascot for the Company—wouldn’t lose
him for worlds. We feel that if there’s anything in mascots, Alfy will bring us
y luck, and we-,reciprocate his service in that capacity by wishing him :
el
“ Good Luck and a Safe Return.”
“ T h e bayonet is not a pocket-knife or a
tool. I t is not made to chop firewood or to a st
bread. I t is th e m ost' effective weapon of w ar
and is m eant to kill Germans w ith.”
Saturday Evening Post.
w. G. L.
. from this day forward we shall know
T h at in ourselves our safety m ust be sought
T h at by our own right hands it m ust be w rought
T h at we m ust stand unpropped or be laid low.”
“ . . .
u
W
o r d sw o r t h .
D
SOLDIERS’ PIE
34
THEY SAY
That Lieutenant H ----- invited Private Alfred G. to dine with him, and
of course everyone wants to know whether stew was o n ; but A lfy says
“ Mum's the word.”
That the duty of sentries on ship board is to obstruct men from obtaining*
water from em pty filters.
That “ To sleep, perchance to dream,” is the favourite occupation of
some machine gunners during lectures.
That a certain well-known sergeant' gives orders such as—
" C o u n t l o u d l y in a l o w V o ic e .”
, “ Parade without trousers rolled to the knees.”
“ Carry left foot off to right.”
That after debarkation “ Home, Sweet Home,” will, by our officers,
be mistaken for the sea voyage.
That when an orderly officer and a fireman meet in the same straight
line, the coefficient of restitution is equal to unity.
That on the first „ fine morning the specialist officers will appear on
early morning parade.
That the artillery don’t like peas for dinner, as they roll off their knives.
That the. half minute specialists don’t like soup as it don’t match their
tunics.
That, when at dinner one of the officers commenced picking his teeth
with a knife, the mess president nudged him and whispered, “ Be a gentle­
man, sir, use a fork.”
That if one’s private thoughts were spread out with one’s private gear
during kit inspection, officers would hesitate before taking note of same.
That Joe Buchanan has a good ear for music ; also a good taste for
beer. [We cannot vouch for the statement that he has a taste for beer,
but to prove the. assertion regarding his taste for music, we m ay remark that
many and many a time we have seen him get up before reveille, just to go
to Headquarters to hear the call played at 6.15 a.m.—-E d .]
That Sergeant Anderson of the Specialists fiddles away a lot of his time.
That a certain specialist sergeant-major is looking out for a new whistle,
as the one he has at present is liable to go off before parade.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
35
That the artillery have the most capacious bath-room.
That sharks have given the ship a wide berth.
a trout could catch a shark easily.
A Q.M.S. who can lassoo
„
That before reaching the first port of call supplies of foodstuffs in the
canteen will be exhausted. An appropriate hymn for the occasion will be
that commencing'—
“ The canteen's done
And we are far from port.
Haste thou me on.”
That C Company would like to know who planned the “ first raid,”
the amount and value of war material captured, and if a discussion in
the “ House ” is likely.
That C Company would like to know if the C.O. will arrange a compe­
tition for the bush-whackers who carve the meat in No. i mess-room; the
“ underhand chop ” should draw a large entry.
“ A CHUM55
Ju st one who never starts to preach
When days of shadows come,
B ut understands and walks beside
And cheers you on—a Chum.
Ju st one who cares not if your path
In Palace lies or Slum,
So long as it is grandly walked
W ith sturdy feet—a Churn.
Ju st one who listens, knows, and keeps
In courteous silence dumb,
The thoughts and dreams you trust to him
In confidence—a Chum.
Ju st one who sings a song of pluck
Above the world-ways’ hum
And grasps your hand—a soul to trust—
From youth to age—a Chum.
A. L. B.
36
SOLDIERS’ PIE
SOLDIERS’ PIE
37
“ GET. YOUR HAIR CUT55
Before leaving the Ricketty Isles for the Cold Country, an order was issued
to the men to have their hair shaved short, this being necessary for hygienic
reasons.
Lots of men responded at once. Some went to the camp barbers, others
bought clippers from the canteen, and operated upon each other's wool. Most
of them had their hair cut in the orthodox style, but here and there one noticed
some curious “ fancy ’’ cuts.
Relatives and friends who visited Trentham on the day prior to embarkation
had an opportunity of seeing how strange a man looks with his hair clipped close
all over, and they had the privilege of seeing a few fancy cuts.
When the troops got on board there was a rush on the men who owned clippers.
Those who had objected to “ make themselves look like guys *’ before now came
forward like lambs to the shearing shed. They realised that once they were on
the water they would not be able to indulge in any social intercourse for many
many days—probably weeks—arid they did not mind looking like prize-fighters
in a community made up entirely of soldiers. There were a few, of course, who
seemed diffident about the business even then. There was young " Golden
Locks," and dapper little
Brush-your-hair-back-from-the-forehead-actorfashion," who pondered the m atter for several days, but they got such a bad time
from their mates and-they felt so conspicuous among a crowd of shorn men, that
they finally condescended to come into line.
It is hard to understand why so many of the men instructed their tonsorial
artists to introduce novelty of design when clipping their hair. Perhaps it was
a natural desire to be original or funny, or perhaps they felt that, as they HAD
to look different—HAD to look like champion boxers-^-they might as well look
thoroughly ridiculous and gain notoriety.
Be that as it may, some strange hair-cuts are to be seen. For instance, here's
a chap with an artificial parting shaved out with a razor, while over there is a
fellow with two or three broad arrows carved out on the back of his head. Another
man's head reveals a big broad arrow, to represent that he is “ Government
property."
One man has two tracks through his hair, one down the middle from front to
back, the other crossing it and running from ear to ear. They represent the
donkey's cross."
Another chap has a somewhat similar design and looks as though he has
wireless receiving apparatus over his head.
Quite a lot of men display their regimental numbers on their heads, while
others are branded so as to indicate what Company and Reinforcement they
belong to, viz. “ D 32."
A man in the cookhouse had all his hair snipped short except a top-knot on
the crown^-a Chow’s pig-tail—which he sometimes ties up with a piece of ribbon.
There's another chap who left standing a narrow strip of hair along the middle
of his top-piece. It looks for all the world like a cock’s comb. For originality,
• it’s something to crow about.
C o r p o r a l L o v e l l , D 32 .
38
SOLDIERS’ PIE
POEM
The Tunnellers are all in great glee,
For they’ve been told by their O.C.
(Of course this is ’tw ixt you and me)
That all their troubles on the' sea
Will very soon be ended.
And when they reach th a t bally port,
They’ll all get leave—at least they ought,
For all their crimes amount to nought
(At least there’s no one has been caught),
Their ways are surely mended.
And if ashore they 44 strike a gait ”
And come on board a trifle late,
L et’s hope each one will bring his mate
And not consign him to his fate—
Left behind and stranded.
For th a t would be an awful crime.
(I don’t say th a t to make a rhyme
’Cos I can do th a t at any time.)
I ’m booked up for a pantomime
As soon as we are landed.
Mayhap you’ll murmur, “ W hat a skite ! ”
Yet ’tis no lie, though p ’raps I might
Have tried on high to fly a kite ; .
I still maintain th a t tru th and right
Are most im portant factors.
I make no claim to be a sage,
I merely write to fill a page ;
Yet did not Shakespeare, once the rage,
Declare the world to be a stage,
The people merely actors ?
W.
George.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
THAT LECTURE
We’ve had a lecture on explosives
By the S.M. Engineers, ,
Interspersed with questions,
Cigarettes and want of beers.
We’ve learnt about guncotton,
Ammonal and gelignite,
And we know we m ustn’t tamper
W ith a stuff called dynamite.
We know now what a fuse is,
We understand percussion caps,
And we know not to join the Tunnelling Corps
In the land of the yellow Japs.
We don’t want to join your miners,
Your Tunnellers or Engineers ;
We won’t ask stupid questions of you,
But, say, could you treat us all to beers ?
THAT OTHER LECTURE
Field Engineering’s all right in its way
If you’re lately a ’Varsity Pro,
B ut what is the use df bisectirlg a line
When there’s no real occasion to know ?
The width of a river’s a varying point,
We admit it’s not easy to find ;
B ut why work out angles ? An easier way
Is to swim ’cross the stream with a line.
In .making a range-card there’s trouble—a lot,
I t will give you a pain in the Head—
Don’t you think ’tw ould be simpler and quicker by far
To buy maps of the landscape instead ?
W ith the shells shrilly shrieking and bursting o’er head,
And the enemy pressing us hard,
I ’d rather be safely ensconced in a trench
Than be range-finding marks to a yard.
39
4o
SOLDIERS’ PIE
GREETINGS FROM A HALF-MINUTE
■' • • •
:
'■
"'
‘
' ■’■ ' . ^ \ ' ' :jj(
Hello N. Z. ! How are you all ? How far away you seem to-day and how "
sm all!
The mighty Pacific dwarfs you, but only in size, and she is so immense that
she simply overwhelms one ; but I would not exchange one small handful of your dear soil for the whole ocean, big and all as she is.
We have been steaming now for fifteen days and I have not sighted anything
but the eternal blue. We are not travelling very fast, seemingly just wandering "
on. as if the ship realises the immense distance she has to cover and considers it
futile to attem pt to hurry over such a huge task ; in fact, each time one looks
round over the great waste of water, it is difficult to realise we are not lost, and
just wandering aimlessly about. Some of us have come to the conclusion that
Columbus must have been nothing less than stark staring mad—there seems
no other reasonable theory to account for his peculiar taste in choosing his method'
of passing the time.
Well, I suppose you would like to know what we are all doing'since we left
you. Truth to tell, we don’t do a great-deal, and what we do do is much the
same as we did in.camp, modified to suit local conditions ; but perhaps I. could tell
you more of our impressions.
It seems to be a set habit for the crowds to weep when troops leave N.Z.,
as if in sympathy with parting friends. During the time we were in camp, we
saw several reinforcements leave for the Front, and when I used to stand and
look at the boys drawn up with their kit bags-awaiting the word to mOve off, I
used to try to imagine what their thoughts and feelings were, although of course
one could not form a very definite idea ; the effect was saddening, and I would
move away and wonder how I could stand the “ gaff ” when it came my turn.
We were roused at 4 a.m. to the accompaniment of the usual rain, and for
the next three hours all was hurry and bustle, packing kits, scrubbing floors,
and beds, breakfasting, etc. At last, at 7 a.m., we were ready, and “ Fall in ”
sounded; everyone put on greatcoats, picked up kits, and lined up on the road­
way. I was last to leave our hut ; as I slipped on my coat and took a final look
round, it suddenly came upon me that at last we were really off, that we were
leaving camp for the last time. Leaving it after seven months—seven months of
work, leave, blasts and all the small worries and anxieties that go towards the
making of a soldier. Leaving it all behind ! And what was before ? What ?
Who could tell ? Certainly not*I. So this is how it feels to be “ leaving for
the Front.” But this won’t do; shake \ your self, sonny, there is work ahead.
“ Fall in.” So we fell in and were counted and drafted till everyone was satisfied,
SOLDIERS’ PIE
41
picked up our kits and marched to the station ; at last we were aboard the train ;
the boys all joked and grinned in spite of the rain.
Having taken leave of all my friends with the view of avoiding final “ Good­
byes," I did not expect anyone to see me off, but it was not to be ; my own par­
ticular pal was transferred at the last moment. We had been fast friends, and
through lots of scrapes together ; our plans for the future included each other ;
as I simply could not see it without him, it left me rather lonely.
H e came to see me off, and while waiting for the train to start we each talked
of someone else, putting off as long as possible the final farewell. When the
time came he shook my hand. “ Good-bye, old boy.” “ Good-bye,” I said.
That was a l l; queer fish, we Britishers.
The short distance from train to boat was lined with anxious faces,, mostly
women' folk hoping to catch a sight of some loved one. “ Once aboard the lugger
and the girl is mine.” Well, it was hardly so in our. case ; the brave girls who
came to say “ Farewell ” were fenced off about ioo yards away, and there for three
hours in wind and rain they stood and waved and tried to send last messages.
What a p i t y better arrangements could not be made.. Most of us rushed to
write last lines, and there was a great hurrying to and fro in search of paper,
pens and pencils. At noon we. moved out into the stream ; the waiting women,
seeing the ship moving, ran round the jetty to obtain a last view. We lay in
the stream till 5.30 p.m., and while most' of us were at mess we weighed anchor
and the long voyage commenced. I did not notice any great excitement over
the fact ; the weather was too bad to stay long on deck, but as we steamed out
we ran into a choppy sea, and a brief last look sufficed most of us who retired
below for a, session with mal-de-mer. For me the next twenty-four hours were
not pleasant, but after th at most of us were able to get about ; a few only were
very bad. The weather continued dull, and for seven days we hardly saw or
felt the cheerful presence of Old Sol, but steamed on under leaden skies and over
leaden seas, but “ it's a long lane ”—— ; and at last he came intc? view, bringing
with him a corresponding amount of cheerfulness and high7spirits. We spend
most of the time on deck with drill (interrupted with frequent smokes), boxing,
skipping, etc. The evening is passred in reading, card games, and concerts, and
apart from the disabilities of vaccination (“ Look out for my arm ! ”) everyone is
happy and looking forward to the first port, which we hope means leave. This
brings me up to date and the Editor is waiting. If he treats me kindly I will
send you. another line later ; meanwhile, be assured that everything is well with
us. We are all in good spirits and looking hopefully forward to the future ;
be also assured that we will not forget you, but will reserve a soft spot in our
hearts for our friends in that “ gem of the ocean ”—New Zealand. Kia Ora !
Sergeant H
arker
.
42
SOLDIERS’ PIE
THE SOLDIER’S TEN COMMANDMENTS
T h e f o l l o w in g w a s s e n t u s b y a M e m b e r o f t h e D r a f t ; it w a s w r it t e n
in F r a n c e b y h is B r o t h e r a n d h a s n o t , w e u n d e r s t a n d , b e e n p r in t e d
BEFORE.
1. When on guard thou shalt challenge all parties approaching thee.
2. Thou shalt not send any engraving, nor any likeness of any airships in
the heavens above, any postcards of the earth beneath, nor any drawing
of any submarine under the sea ; for I am the Censor, and am a
jealous Censor, visiting the iniquities of any offenders with three
months’ “ C.B .” , but showing mercy unto thousands by-letting their
letters go free, to keep m y commandments.
3. Thou, shalt not use profane language unless under extraordinary circum­
stances, such as seeing your comrade'shot or finding petrol in your
tea.
4. Remember the soldier’s week consists of seven days— six days • shalt
thou labour and do all thy work, and on the seventh day do all odd
jobs.
5. Honour th y King and thy.country ; keep th y rifle oiled and shoot straight
in order that thy days may be long upon the land which the enemy
hath given thee.
.
' 6. Thou slialt not steal thy neighbour’s kit.
7. Thou shalt not kill— time.
v 8. Thou shalt not adulterate th y mess tin by using it as a shaving mug.
9. Thou shalt not , bear false witness against th y comrade, but preserve
discreet silence on his outgoings and incomings.
10. Thou shalt not covet th y Sergeant’s post, nor the Corporal’s, nor the
Sergeant-Major’s, but b y duty and by dint of perseverance rise to
the high position— yea of a Field-Marshal.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
WASHING-DAY SCENES
43
44
SOLDIERS’ PIE
ENTERTAINMENTS, ETC.
Thanks to a zealous Entertainment Committee, our evenings to date have
passed pleasantly. Here are the members of the Committee :—
/
Chaplain-Captain Mallett, Chairman.
Rev. B atty, Y.M .C.A.
Lieutenant Gardiner.
Sergeant Dimick (Secretary),
Sergeant Harker.
\
Corporal R o ss.’
Gunner Park.y^*
Sergeant Anderson.
Private Prechner.
B I-W E E K L Y CONCERTS.
Rare talent has come forward to make our concerts genuine successes, as
you will judge from a perusal of the following notes. We cannot bestow too
much praise upon the 'orchestra, the personnel of which is : Private Smedley,
of the Signallers, pianist ; Sergeant Anderson,. Specialists, violin ; Corporal
Dobson, cornet ; Gunner Campbell, flute.
They are all thorough musicians and make up as efficient and well-balanced
an orchestra'as the most critical music-lover could wish to hear.
They play accompaniments for our songsters in the most sympathetic style,
and they delight the sense equally as much, whether playing rollicking marches
or dreamy waltzes. They interpret the “ Barcarolle,” the “ Rosary,” and
“ Cavalleria Rusticana ” in an impressive manner, and hold their audiences
enraptured. The rich baritone voice of Sergeant-Major Donaldson fcas been
heard to advantage at several concerts. He has an extensive repertoire. His
audiences always demand encores when he sings “ Friend of Mine,” “ Some­
where,” or “ Inter Non.”
Besides. figuring in the orchestra; Gunner Campbell’s name is always put
down for a song or two. His singing of “ My Old Shako,” “ Cornish Floral
Dance.” and “ Scots wha hae ” is appreciated b y everyone, and with his powerful,
resonant voice he scores heavily.
, ,
As President of the Amusement Committee, Chaplain-Captain Mallett works
untiringly to organise our concerts, and his efforts have been crowned with success,
as crowded and enthusiastic audiences testify. He can do his share of enter­
taining also, for, possessed of a pleasing baritone voice, he sings such songs as
“ Tommy Lad ” , in great style., He can also tell a good story.
Gunner Park is a capable pianist, and, besides opening up some of our concerts
with very fine overtures, is in constant demand as accompanist. Other pianists
who contribute enjoyable items are Privates Quill and Joe Buchanan.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
45
Private Hook can .give a grand representation of a Cockney. His recitation
about the “ Gallant Six ’Undered ” is clever and distinctly humorous. He relates
short anecdotes in a fresh, original manner that always amuses. .
Sergeant Ross, with an excellent tenor voice, sings “ Gallants pf England ”
and the “ Last Call.” His items are warmly applauded.
Sergeant Anderson, violinist, has given genuine pleasure with his excellent
rendering of “ The Melody in F ” and “'Melodie d’Amour.”
Corporal Dobson is. another member of the orchestra who contributes indi­
vidual items. Particularly fine is his “ Goodbye, Summer.”
Private Prechner, of F Co., and R. C. Harrison, of E Co., are entertainers of
outstanding merit. The former appeared at Fuller’s as one of the Victor Prince
Revue Co., while the latter was a member of the Royal Dramatic Co., so you can
understand we have a duo of talented artists who give some rare good turns.
Harrison gets on to the piano and rattles the dominoes in great'style, what time
the pair sing raggedy ragtime that sets the feet going and the body swaying.
Their harmonising is particularly good, and many of their songs go with a lilt
the audience cannot resist.
The men join in the choruses with zest. Prechner is a great impersonator,
and tells some side-splitting Jew yarns. He is never allowed to leave the platform
until he gives an exhibition of clog-dancing, in which he excels. His feet go
patter-patter on the floor with marvellous speed and rhythm and he introduces
movements and contortions that can only be described as funny and grotesque.
Lance-Corporal Beale sings v Waiting by the Mississippi ” and “ Way downin Tennessee ” in a swinging style that gets the crowd “ going ” when he comes
to the choruses.
Private McCreary recites “ Bendigo ” and “ Patrick Hooley ” in a manner
th at keeps the audience- highly amused.
Private Stevens sings “ Because” among other songs, and sings it well.
Lance-Corporal O’Hara puts life and go into his reciting of the “ Man from Snowy
River,” and he tells the merry doings of a “ Wee Scotch Nicht ” in a way that
appeals to the heart of every Scotsman. We happen to know that Corporal
O’Hara has a big repertoire and look forward to hearing him recite a number of
good pieces before the voyage ends.
“ Now, boys,” says the Rev. Mr. Batty, “ we’ll set the ball rolling by singing
a few choruses, and he distributes amongst the boys a little book entitled “ March­
ing Songs ” published by the Y.M.C.A. The books are handy in size (they fit
into the pbcket with ease) and contain in small type the music.and words of many
Tommies’ ” and “ Sammies’ ” tunes.
The pianist plays a few bars of “ Auld Lang Syne,” Mr. B atty beats out the
time, and the old familiar song is heard in chorus from three hundred throats.
“ What shall we sing next ? ” smiles Mr. Batty. Half a dozen songs are
suggested, but after a good-humoured insistence in favour of “ Killarney,” the
grand old Irish song is voiced with as much spirit as -the previous items.
Next comes “ Old Folks at Home,” then “ Annie Laurie,” followed by such
lively tunes as “ There is a Tavern in the Town,” “ Tramp, tramp, tramp, the
Boys are marching,” and “ The Girl I left behind me.”
46
SOLDIERS’ PIE
These old national melodies, which inspire thoughts of home because of the
Words and the fact that folks at home have sung them many a time, go with a
grand sw ing.'
STUMP SPEECH NIGHT
: “ We want the names of men who will give f stump speeches/ ” announced
the Chaplain one night to the crowd of men in the mess-room. Several men
from one side volunteered, but no orators responded from the opposite side.
“ Come on, you Portsiders,” urged the Padre ; “ don’t be beaten by the Starboardeirs ”—a remark that caused general laughter. The first speaker was
. Sergeant Le Brun. He put his hand into the hat and drew forth a slip bearing
" Censorship.'” On mounting the forum and seeing the immense crowd before
him, Sergeant Le Brun said he wished he were near the door, but he made' such
a good showing there was no need to avail of any handy exit. The Sergeant
cautioned men not to be too free in expressing their thoughts to their best girls
because the Censors were confirmed bachelors and might in a fit of disgust rip
the letters up. He warned them about including references to the ship’s move­
ments—he said such paragraphs would be blue pencilled, not to emphasise them
but to delete.
The next speaker began, “ Officers, N.C.O.’s and Gentlemen.” (Great cheering
and cries of “ You’ve won the five bob prize ! ”) He said his subject w a s T r a n s ­
port Week-end L eave” (ironical laughter). He hoped they’d all put in for it
and hoped they’d get it.
Private Buries had to talk on “ Massey B oo ts”—a weighty subject. He
pointed out a lot of disadvantages in these points, but reckoned they were all
right to play football in. At first they caused pain round the tendons of the leg
and raised blisters. The tabs at the back chafed the leg, but he advised men to
leave them on, so that they could put their names on them—inferring that fellows
in the Army “ pinched ” things. He advised men/to soak their boots in boiling
water so as to get the greasy dubbin out and get in a good shine.
Corporal Hamilton made a very able speech on “ Wet Canteens.” He advo­
cated “ Dry Canteens.” As the Dominion Qovernment thought fit to establish
dry canteens, every man should be content to abide by their decision. It was in
the interests of efficiency.
Corporal Burt said he had to speak on a subject near the heart but nearer
the arm— “ Vaccination.” He referred to the tales of horror heard before inocula-.
tion, when chaps who’d gone through it said, “ The first two inches were, the
worst.” We heard little concerning vaccination, but when the lymph began
to “ take ” one heard a lot about it. If you touched a man on the left arm you
had to go on deck for a breath of fresh air.
Corporal O’Hara, whose mates “ swung it on to him ” by handing in his name
unknown to him, said his subject was also near the heart, especially the hearts
of E Co.—Fatigues, or, as he called them, “ odd jobs about the house.” He said
some fatigues, such as peeling spuds on the poop deck, are easier than drill, and
there’s a scramble for .them. He spoke on the importance of sanitary fatigues,
and urged all men to pay strict attention to matters under this head. In carrying
SOLDIERS’ PIE
47
out any fatigues in his best style, every man was doing his bit in .the organisation
of the Army. Let us, he concluded, take cheerfully whatever job is handed out,
knowing it is for the good of the whole.
“ Arm y Stew ” was the topic to be dealt with by Sergeant Jordan, and roars
of mirth greeted his opening' remark— “ I never speak about anything I don’t
understand.” He said all manner of things are put into our stew and everything
is boileql so that they can dish it all up. They say that if you want to extract
the goodness from anything you must boil it. • If you can realise that the “ folks
upstairs ” had boiled eggs and we got the gravy there would not be much pleasure
in that. But in the stew we get all of it. I don’t mean: that the folk upstairs
don’t get any of it— I believe they do— -for some of it reaches us on the same
floor. (How’s time ? Two minutes ! Eh !) Two minutes to -analyse this
soup ! W hat we don’t find in it I don’t knoW, and m y vocabulary cannot describe
all the things that are in it. However, there is a war on, and if it isn’t food, it’s
drink, and we have to thank God for something. That is, both food and drink.
(One minute, eh !) We have sung about it, talked about it. W hat’s . more,
we’ve seen it, tasted it, we know it’s a fact. The Sergeant related how when an
oN
fficer at Trentham asked for complaints a soldier said, “ I ’ve found a maggot
that long in the stew. What could you find worse ? ” • Another man said, “ Half
a m aggot.” As the Sergeant terminated a voice said, “ Give us some more stew .”
“ T h at’s evidently a mess orderly,” he remarked, amid applause.
EU C H R E TO U RNAM ENT.
The Euchre P arty was a big success. Three hundred players took part.
The spacious mess-room was only just able to accommodate them. As the night
was muggy and the portholes, according to regulations, had to remain closed,
the atmosphere got rather warm and the columns of smoke men sent up from,'pipes
and cigarettes made it thicker.
The players were so intent on the games, however, that they barely noticed
it. After the players had taken their places,, the Chaplain checked the hubbub
of excited voices with a blast on a whistle and explained the rules.of the tourna­
ment. The moment he gave the word to <f Carry on ” the hum of conversation
burst out again and game No. i commenced. A t the end of this game it was
discovered that one pair of players who had lost had disappeared. Whether
they decided the losing of the initial game was a bad omen or thought the contest
was being decided by a process; of elimination, we do not know. A nyw ay, the
proceedings were, held up for a minute until two other competitors were found.
7 The men were so keen that many commenced the new games the moment they
changed over, and had scored several points before the Chaplain gave the signal
for the game to begin. Dame Fortune bestowed a good number of bowers and
aces on Privates Hyland and Murray, who, making the most o’f them, won every
game. The Fates also favoured Private Munro and Corporal Alexander, and
SOLDIERS’ PIE
48
another pair, Privates Wareham and Sheeby, who, likewise, did not lose a game.
In the deciding “ cut ” the first-mentioned pair won and received the first prize,
ys. 6d. apiece. The next pair won 5s. apiece. The third prize, a book of canteen
tickets, went to the last-mentioned couple. Prize No. 4-— Orders on the Canteen— •
went jto Privates Corlett and Mackay, the runners up being Heyes and Sheriffs.
•
.
C R IB B A G E MAgrCH.
The first prize of 5s. apiece went to Messieurs Mallon and Horton. The
second prize, 2s. 6d. each, was won by Davidson and Weiergang, the'third prize,
2 5 . apiece, going * ; d Murray and Morgan.
L IB R A R Y .
Though not large, the library meets all requirements. The books consist of
those belonging to the ship’s library (about 400 volumes) and those bought by
the Canteen Committee of the Infantry and Engineef units (about 200 volumes).
The original second-class bar has been fitted up as the library with Corporal
J. K. Ross of “ E ;” Co. as librarian.
Never m ay from our souls one truth depart,
Th at an accursed thing it is to gaze
On prosperous tyrants w ith a dazzled eye,
Nor touched w ith an abhorrence of their guilt
For whose dire ends tears flow and blood is spilt
And justice labours in extrem ity.
Forget th y weakness, upon which is built,
O wretched man, the throne of tyranny. •
W o rd sw o r th .
F o r O .C.’s d o w n t o P r iv a t e s (both inclusive) :
“ How sweet and gracious even in common speech ;
Is th at fine sense which men call courtesy.”
Be still; sad heart, and cease repining,'
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining.
T h y fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall— ■ ,
Some days be dark and dreary.A u th o r U n k n o w n .
Men m ust war and women must weep,
Thus runs the world to-day.
To S e r g e a n t -M a jo r s
P a r t i c u l a r : Keep your
and
Se r g e a n ts
in
te m p e r; it is worth
more to you than to anyone else.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
49
Y.M.C.A. NOTES
“ Is there a Y.M. on board ? ” was the question heard among the boys the
first day or two, and the answer was, “ I think I saw a secretary come aboard with
us,”
For a few days this problem remained unsolved, as, owing to the very unsportsmanlike manner in which the sea treated the secretary, he was put entirely
out of action for a while ; however, on the third d^y out the Y.M. duly appeared
and opened fire from a convenient little room on the main deck.
In a week the Hut that helps ” was a well known spot, and well attended
parades gathered there three times daily.
In two weeks six good-sized cases of books and magazines (given b y the
generous N.Z. public) have been distributed ; they are of very varied range
and quality, from Nat Gould’s works to musty volumes of Samuel Rutherford’s
sermons, mellow surely with age, and magazines and booklets containing the most
reliable brand of the Gospel.
Needless to say, the gospel according to Nat
Gould is in greater demand than that according to the worthy divine afore­
mentioned ; though there is a steady demand for good literature, and for these
more discriminating readers we have several hundred volumes of the Classics.
The art of “ Letters ” is followed with great assiduity by nearly all on board,
so our stationery supply is in constant use.
Our table arid deck games are also much appreciated, indeed the boys seem
to imagine that the Y.M .C.A. remembers to bjring them things that everyone
else forgets, and we have inquiries for such strange' articles as knife-cleaners
(by the mess orderlies), clothes-lines, and boot polish.
The social activities of the Y.M. secretary are also varied, from dispensing
religious instruction at a Bible-class and religious service to taking an active
part in the promotion and conducting Of a Euchre Tournament.
Then there are fellows who still have a will to make, and their temporal
affairs to manage, so by the time we have attended to the spiritual, social, and
literary business and the personal needs of the boys we will in some measure
have realised the aim that is ever before the Y.M .C.A.
-
50
SOLDIERS’ PIE
NOTES BY THE PADRE
The voyage has been a happy one for,the Padre. Although the attendance
at the early celebration of the Holy' Communion has not been very large, it was
encouraging to see so many making their Communion on Christmas Day. The
Sunday evening services have been only fairly well attended.
The branch of the Church of England's Men's Society founded on board the
transport has become a strong one. Lance-Corporal Lindauer has acted as
secretary and in his work has been assisted by Sergeant Willis. The following
subjects were introduced by the President at the meetings : “ The Church's
Work after the War," “ The Difficulties of the First Three Chapters of the Book
of Genesis," “ Why have a Church at all ? ” and “ Church Ritual." An inte­
resting discussion followed in each case.
The Bible Classes held on Sunday afternoons in the Sergeants' Mess and also
on Tuesday and Thursday evenings in the Padre's cabin have been well attended.
The outstanding feature has been the discussion which followed the chairman's
interpretation of the Scriptures. All members have taken a keen part in these
discussions, which have proved most interesting and helpful. The Gospel
according to St. Matthew was the Book chosen for the classes. Our special thanks
are due to the Y.M.C.A. Secretary, who is always willing and ready to assist.
The people of the Dominion, especially the ladies, have been very generous
in their gifts to the men on the transport. Through their kindness each man
received, on Christmas Eve, a parcel of presents, and for tea on Christmas D ay/
cake, tinned fruit, syrup and marmalade were provided in addition to the ordinary
fare. A touch of the northern winter assisted in making this traditional manner
of keeping the Festival very acceptable. The ladies of the Dominion would
have felt amply repaid for their trouble if they could have seen the happy faces
of the boys and heard their sincere remarks of appreciation. They cheered up
many a homesick boy that day.
It is no more unmanly to practise self-sacrifice as. taught by Christ than to
practise that taught by the State in times of danger.- If we reflect upon this we
see that each is a preparation for the other. But Christianity holds the advan­
tage. It prepares the character for all time. It contains everything that Army
discipline contains, and very much more. It is the deliberate sacrifice of sell for
the-benefit of all. It' is a discipline for Eternity. It takes the fully disciplined
SOLDIERS’ PIE
51
man right through life, and death has no terrors for him. He has learnt th at the
creature has to face the Creator and is prepared for that meeting.
There is nothing unmanly in this teaching. On the contrary, it ds the only
teaching that raises man above the'selfish creature that 'hevis by nature. It
takes the brute and makes a man of him. He is made a man who has conquered
the weakness of his character and become strong in the principle of unselfishness.
The principle of self-sacrifice■is the only principle upon which the individual,,
social, national, and international life can be built securely. The principles of
law and order, justice and equality have all been tried and have ended in the
present World-War. When the creature, obsessed by the cry “ Rights of Man,"
can appreciate “ Rights of the Creator," men will become manly, better characters
will people the world, and civilisation will cease to be a sham or a convenient mask
to cover the selfish pleasure-seeking, grudging, grasping nations of the world
as we know them to-day.
The Padre is closing his notes with some on " Christian Manliness/' It is
a sad thing to find that so many men will have little to do with, Christianity
because they think it is unmanly. Many keep away from church because they
are afraid of the sneers of their fellow men. It is a sadder thought still to know
that many of t^ese men feel the need of their Church and yet continue through life
with this need unsatisfied. The saddest thought of all is to know th at many of
these men are afraid of death—they are cowards at the last.
Christianity means manliness. The Christian man is trained to be courageous.
Discipline and moral courage are two of the essentials of Christian character.
It is the .thought Gf this discipline that frightens men, for it is going to interfere
with selfishness. Christian, discipline, like army discipline, is essential. In the
Army a man is disciplined by drill and training that he may act instinctively
in the hour of danger. He does his fatigue for the benefit of his fellow soldiers
that they in turn may be disciplined. He sinks self’and becomes a unit for the
benefit of the whole. When a man volunteers for the service of his country he
does this deliberately. It is self-sacrifice or the sacrifice of self that the nation
may live.
It is the same with Christianity. All are volunteers here.
E
2
5*
SOLDIERS’ PIE
OBITUARY
" Died at Sea.” Ere these pages are published this heading will have
.appeared in our daily journals in far off New Zealand. Beneath it will be recorded
the name of Private William. Arnold Duncan, of the Signalling Section, 32nd
Specialists.
On coming into camp in June, 1917, Private Duncan 1was posted to the
Specialists, and his aptitude was such that, although having no previous military
experience, he passed all his tests as a trained signaller, j On shipboard he was
a boat’s' signaller and proved by his resource and ability that the. confidence
bestowed on him was not misplaced. He was taken ill suddenly, and within
twenty-four hours his short life of twenty years had closed. Of a bright disposi­
tion, Private Duncan's early demise is to be deplored, and the sympathy of all
on board is extended to his relatives, whose only comfort can be that he died in
the greatest war of all times in defence of our ancient liberties ; and though
disease claimed him, his sacrifice is no less than that of those who die on the
fields of France.
The morning following his death the ship slowed down, and to the sound of
the “ Last Post ” his remains were committed to the deep, all ranks standing
fast, thus paying a silent tribute to their late comrade—fro patria mori.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
53
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS
P r i v a t e H .—.If th a t’s a New Zealand lily, we now understand why so m any New Zealanders,
m arry in England.
64 . . .—.Here it is :—•
“ ’Tis r o o m n u m b e r o n e ,
B y th e saloon, don’t you sefe ?
And w ith heads prowling round
We are always biz-zie.”
Buzz ! Buzz ! Buzz ! yes, we see !
S hots
A r t i l l e r y .—.No
from t h e
’
'
wonder we aren’t winning th e war.
M e s s .— Y e s , t h e t i t l e is g o o d .
P r i v a t e E. G.-G.— We won’t
wound Mr. H arris w ith th a t joke.
quite there.
S t e w e d F r u i t s .—Is it a joke or a complaint ? See a specialist in phrenology.
No. N a m e .—.Look here, son, you w atch your own knees ; th a t is about all you can do.
12TH P l a t o o n .:—-The verse is a good effort, b u t not quite good enough.
G u n n e r F. H , G . —-Why draw on ruled paper ? I t certainly spoils the effect.
J . T: T.—T ry a g a i n ; n o t b a d a t a ll.
*
J . H .—-Not original. •
H e l p i n g t h e C e n s o r .—N o ; n o t so th a t you would notice it.
T h e D o n Ga B r i g a d e . —.What it lacks in hum our it makes up for in length.
W. H .—D on’t enlarge it.
P r i v a t e S.— T h e j o k e s w i l l d o ; r e s t t o o lo n g .
M e d i c a l C o r p s .—.“ Impressions of Sea-sickness” used. T h e'rest too c ritical; as a member of
the N.Z.M.C. you ought to know th e necessity of keeping th e ship clean.
L a n c e -C o r p o r a l B.—-Very fair, b u t can’t use it.
A .B .C .
“ F ”
of
C o m p a n y .—.Not
1 5 P l a t o o n .— T h e c o m p a n y d o e s n ’t d e s e r v e r i d i c u le o f t h a t s o r t .
Ode
B
to a
i l l .—
M e r m a i d .—We
would never reach p ort if we printed th a t.
W e a l w a y s d id l i k e t h a t j o k e .
O. W.—Too late for publication ; sentim ent good.
Can’t read it, so we presume i t ’s a growl,
xW a n d e r e r .— R ight off th e track.
S h e l l b a c k .—
Mr. H - - t —
g d
-
n
.— .W e ll, a n y w a y , w e c o m p l i m e n t y o u o n b r i n g i n g a g a s s t o v e a b o a r d .
seconds before sighting th e submarine you will give " Prepare to charge,”
and when the submarine merges you will charge it.
L t . M cL - -
n
.—-Five
SOLDIERS’ PIE
54
NOMINAL ROLL
IkdiihKaye, C
SHIP’S
L. C. H. W orrall
H. S. Cox
..
R. M. K ane . . .
W. H . N esbit
A. W. Coles
P. Mu die
..
J. Gillanders ..
A. F. D ouglas
JR. R utherford
K. McL eod .. '
W. A llan
..
J. J eromson ..
J. Stephens ..
J. H e a v y
X
C. W ard
..
E. P erkiss ..
R. B urns
.. ..
{
..
..
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
1 ..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.'.
..
..
..
..,
.. ..
..
..
..
..
..
.. . . . .
..
. jIcKellar, A 'u
OFFICERS
Hubbgton, s. I
Master.
Chief Officer.
v2nd
„
3rd
4th
Chief Engineer.. ■
2nd
3rd
4th
„
5th
, ,,
6th
..
..
..
..
7th
..
. .
Electrician.
Wireless O perator.
Assistant Wireless O perator.
..
Chief Steward.
2nd
,,
..
.. ..
; iJiPffEll, A. C.
. :1\cel,W.
W. J.
- IcRae , D . M .
• ; fora, A V.
1KST, J.
iflASER, F. R.
llffiER, A. A.
IlGAN, W. P.
iiEEHAN, W . H .
!:i, A.
IfflNSON,S.
; ter,Y.U.
Kormick, E. J.
rl Helen, C. R.
Iiller, E. C.
Norton, F. J.
O’Grady, E. W
Robixsox, H . J
MILS.
■ -isos, J.
■ ,3U.
jJDERSOX, A. P.
IteiD.F.W.
STA FF
Capt. H a w k i n s , C. A. B. P.. O/C D raft.
—Lieut. P a r k , R. S., S.O. to O/Cd D raft.
OFFICERS
2nd Lieut. C l e r e , F. T., A djutant.
Capt. Cox, C. T., Ship’s Q.M.
D EPARTM EN TA L
OFFICERS
lain, J.
sios, V. J.
SBIGE, F.
/ > r,G .H .
imsGioN, C. A.
iffl.P.
kcsD, E. F
:3R,T.A.
3CH,L.
Capt. H u n t e r , D. G. G., N.Z.A.P.D.
Chap.-Capt. M a l l e t t ', C. A., Chaplain.
Capt. R o b e r t s o n , W. S., N.Z.M.C.
Capt. D e r r i c k , T ., N.Z.M.C.
L ieut. S e e d , W . S ., N.Z:D.C,
Rev. P. B a t t y , Y.M.C.A.
O.C.
Lieut. P h i l l i p s , E. J., N.Z.F.A.
Lieut. M e r e d i t h K a y e , C. L,, C 32.
2nd Lieut. T h o m s o n , H. J. M ., D 32.
COM PANIES
2nd Lieut. D y k e s , J. G., E 32.
2nd Lieut. Cox, N. D., F 32.
2nd Lieut. G u i n n e s s , E. R., 32nd Spec.
F., D 32.
G e o r g e , D ., M.G.S., 32nd S.
G a r d n e r , G . F., N.Z.F.A.
M a r s h a l l , F., M .G .S ., 32nd S .
P i n f o l d , C. M ., E 32.
P r i c e , E. A., C 32.
M c K e l l a r , A. C., C 32.
O ’D
onoghue,
M.
»a.T.
f CHARD, A.
texG, F. J
- "kCE,j.
;'V o x ,H .
• '^siers, S.
%gward, C.
% ve, ], B ’
% .h .
■■ * En,H I
M ]/'
■
I
•Ng.r’
OFFICERS
2nd Lieut.
2nd Lieut.
2nd Lieut.
2nd Lieut.
2nd Lieut.
2nd Lieut.
2nd Lieut.
am uw .R .
J a .C .ilc G .
>,A.
1 2nd
2nd
2nd
2nd
2nd
2nd
Lieut.
L ie u t .
Lieut.
Lieut.
Lieut.
Lieut.
J. P., F 32. '
H u g h e s , L . M ., E 32.
H u n t i n g t o n , S . H ., C 32.
S t r a c h a n , P. D. W ., F 32.
M c L a u g h l i n , W . S ., D 32.
H a l l * H . T ., D 32.
W
e l ls,
SOLDIERS’ PIE
‘C”
Lieu t. M e r e d i t h K a y e , C. L.
2nd L t. P r i c e , E . A.
C,S-M.
Q.M.S.
M c K e l l a r , A- C.
H u n t in g t o n , S. H.
H ip w e L l, A. C.
A n g e l , W.
S e rg t. J o r d a n , W . J.
M c R a e , D . M.
O l i v e r , A. V.
A r n s t , J.
Corpl. F r a s e r , F. R.
H a r k e r , A. A.
„
M o r g a n , W, P.
S h e e h An , W. H.
,,
T h o m , A.
W i l k i n s o n , S.
T r o t t , V . U.
M c C o r m ic k , E . J.
L .-C o rp l. C u l l e n , G. R .
M i l l e r , E . C.
N o r t o n , F . J.
O ’G r a d y , E. W .
R o b i n s o n , H. J.
Pte. A l c o c k , H. S.
A l i s o n , J.
A l l e n , E . E .'
A n d e r s o n , A , P.
A r n o l d , F. W .
B a r r i t t , J.
B e e s t o n , V. J.
B e r r i g e , F.
B o l e r , G. H.
B o l l i n g t o N, C. A..
B o n d , P.
B r a z il , P. J.
B r o n l u n d , E . F.
B r o w n , T. A.
BukCH, L .
B urkhardt, R.
B y e c r o f t , H. A.
B u r t o n , H. T.
B l o n c h a r d , A.
B u s h n e l l , A.
B o t t i n g , F . J.
B r u c e , J.
C h e r in t o n , H.
C h a r t e r s , S.
C o l l in g w a r d , C.
C o s g r o v e , J. B.
C r i l l y , H.
C o r b e t t , H. J.
C r o u l ,' A. J.
C o l b e r t , H. J.
C o u s i n s , G. R .
C a m p b e l l , G.McG.
C a m e r o n , A.
Cl a r k e , R .
D a v e y , T.
D a v i d s o n , J. A.
COMPANY.— 32nd Reinforcement
Pte. D a v is o n , P. J.
D a v i s , J.
D e w s o n , R.
D o n o v a n , W.
D u n l o p , A. M.
D o u b l e , R. R.
E l l i s , H.
E d d y , H . J.
E p p s , H . J.
E v a n s , J.
E g a n , F. J.
F o r d e , J. E .
G e r r a r d , J. H.
G i b b s , W . F. H.
G r i e v e , R.
G r if f i t h s , M. J. W.
H is ’l o p , J. A.
^ H a l l , J.
H a l l g a r t h , G.
H a n n a f i n , T.
H a r r i s o n , P. B.
H a y c o c k , C. F .
H e p p n e r , R. E .
, H i l l , J. J.
H i g g in s , P.
H i n e s , J.
H o d g e , W. H . '
H a y e s , J'. G..
H o p k i n s , F. j .
H u t c h in s o n , J. A.
H o r t o n , H . B.
. I l l s t o n , A.
I n k st e r , H.
I r v i n e , T . G.
J e n k i n s , E . C.
J e f f e r i e s , W.
J o h n s o n , E . A.
Jam es, E.
L i t t l e , R.
L e a s k , P. F.
L e e , J.
L y n c h , P.
M a l l o n , J. L .
M a n s f i e l d , W . B.
M a s o n , W. A.
M i l l a r , C.
Mil l e r , E .
M o o r e , W. J.
M u s s o n , J. P.
M u s s o n , A.
M i l l s , J. A.
M o n t a g u e , F.
M u l l a n e , P.
M c C r a c k e n , C. A.
M c K e n z i e , A.
M c N a b , F . J.
M c N e i l l , M.
M c C o r k i n d a l e , W. G.
M c D o n a l d , W.
Pte. N ic h o l a s , W . E. D.
O d'l u m , R .
O s b o r n e , A.
P a d d y , G.
P a y n e , F. G. .
P h i l l i p s , H.
P h e l p s , S.
P i k e , H. I.
P a y n e , J. A.
R e i d , W . C.
R i d g e , J. E.
R i n g r o s e , M. J. B.
R o b s o n , H. D.
R o s s , D.
S h a n n o n , H.
S h e f f o r d ,.W .
Sh e e h y , E.
S h a d b o l t , L. J.
S i m p s o n , F. M.
S im p s o n , W . H.
S m y t h , G. S’.
S t r e e t , A.
S t e p h e n s o n , R. M. F.
S t e e l e , J. D.
S t e w a r t , S.
S u l l i v a n , M.
S v e n s e n , B: A.
/
S t o k e s , R. H.
S t a p l e y , C. L.
S m it h , C.
S w a n , G. J.
T a y l o r , S. S.
T h o m p s o n , J.
T h o m p s o n , A.
T o o k e , J.
T r e l e a v e n , R. R.
T r e w e e k , R . J.
T r ip l o w , F. J.
T u r n e r , T . F. H.
T w e e d i e , H. W .
V i n i n g , L. J.
V o o k e , A. H.
VlYCICH, M.
W a l l a c e , G. H.
W a l l a c e , H.
W a l l s , H. J.
W a t e r h o u s e , A L.
W a t t , J.
W a r e h a m , W . H.
W a t e r s o n , H. J.
W e y e r g a n g , O. P. A.
W i n d l e , J.
WlLMOT, E. L. E . '
W i l s o n , C. L.
W o o l l a m , H. J.
W o r t h i n g t o n , W . J.
WlLLIAMSiON, W .
W e n z l i c k , A.
SOLDIERS’ EIE
\
‘D”
2 n d L t. T h o m so n , H . J . M .
,,
M cL a u g h l i n , W . S .
H all, H . T.
O ’D o n o g h u e , M . F .
C.S.M. C a m e r o n , G.
Q.M.S. R u s s e l l , J. H.
Sergt. C r o p p , W. C.
„
D i m i c k , R. E.
,,
E g g l e t o n , T. E.
,,
L eb ru n , P. A.
,,
S m it h , O . A . B .
Corpl. E l d e r , J. D.
,,
H a m il t o n , J .
,,
P earce, F.
,,
M i t c h e l l , H.
B enfell, F. A.
„
B u r t , T. R,
W i l l i s , C. J .
L o v ell, W . G.
W i l s o n , J. B.
,,
P e a k e , I. C.
L.-Corpl. M a r s h a l l ,. J. L .
O ’H a r a , F .
R e d s h a w , J. E.
S c o t t , W . J. E.
M c C r a e , J. P .
M c C a l l , A.
H a w k i n s , B . A.
P e r r y ,' J: C.
B e a l e , G. M.
M i l l a r , A. W .
P te . A r m a n a sc o , W . S.
„
A n d er so n, L . A.
,,
A n d er so n , M. W .
„
B a d m in g t o n , A . S .
,,
B a k e r , F . G. )
„
B a r r e t t , F. W.
„
^E T TE N SO N , J. H.
„ B in d o n , W . V .
,, B o l e s , H. J.
„ B r id g e r , F . E .
,, B r o w n e , F . K . S .
,, B u r r o w s , A . E .
,, B a c k h o l m , W . H .
„ B l a ir , R . J.
„ B u t l e r , C. A .
„ B u r ns, W .
Ca p e w e l l , H .
,, C a r t e r , W . H .
„ Ga r r o l l , T . A .
,, C o s s e y , W .
„ Ch a n d l e r , F .
„ Ch e r r in g t o n , J.
„ C l a r k e , F. G.
,, C l a r k e , J .
,, C l e a r y , P .
,, C l a y t o n , J. H.
,, C l e m o w , S .
,, C o l q u i t t , H . R .
,, C o o k , T . J.
COMPANY,— 32nd Reinforcement
Pte.
C o r k h i l l , G . T.
CORLETT, W.
CORNES, D .
C r o o k s , J . A.
C u r r i e , E. K .
C o t t r e l l , A. L.
C o e , P.
C a s s i d y , E. J.
D a r l i n g , J.
D a v i s , P. B.
D a v i e s , J.
D e a n , L. T.
D e l L, F. J.
D i l l y , W.
D u d s o n , E. J r
D o w n e r , L . McP.
F a r l e y , F . G.
F e a t h e r s t o n e , C. S.
F er g u sso n , R .
F l e t c h e r , T. G.
F l o y d , S.
F r a i e , N. H.
G a r t l a n d , T.
G i l l a n d e r s , A. J.
G i l l o t t , W. J.
G o o d , M. E.
G o r d o n , V. T. H .
G oUgh , H . G.
G r a c e , G . A.
G r a n t , W. A.
G r a y , A. G .
G r e e n u p , A.
G u i l d f o r d , F. C.
H a m i l t o n , J. F.
H a r r i s , E. G.
H a w k i n s , J. F.
H a y , A. S.
H e n n e s s y , J.
H e n s i n g , C.
H ic k e y , H .
H i c k m a n , L. A. D .
H a r r i n g t o n , D . C. P.
H o a r e , C. E.
H o t c h in , R . L^ H .
H u b b a r d , L. A. V.
. H u m b y , W. L. C.
H o d g e , M. C.
I r e l a n d , F. G .
I r e l a n d ; L. D .
J a m i s o n , S.
J o h n s o n , W. A.
J u d d , H . J.
• K e e b l e , F. S.
K e l l y , W. T.
K e n t , W. A. ,
K e r r , J . H. •
L a i n g , E. H.
L e m o n , M.
L a m b , A. P.
L e n d e n , H. L .
P te . L e w e n d e n , L .
L o n g s e y , G. J.
L u g g ., W. J.
M a h o n y , F. J.
M a r s h , A.
M a b e y , A. J.
M i l l e r , R . A.
M o r l e y , G.' S .
M il l s , L .
M o n t g o m e r y , J.
M o r r i s , F. K.
M u r r a y , A: S .
M u r p h y , J.
M i l l e t t , W. G.
n
M a s o n , L. W.
M cS k im m in g , S . R .
N e w t o n , C. F.
O ’B r i e n , O .
O ’C o n n e l l , P .
P a r k e r , E. V .
P a r k e r , W. C.
P a r k i n s o n , E. G.
P e a r s e , R . W.
POTTINGER, A.
P o w e l l , R . G.
Q u i l t e r , H. M .
R a i n b o w , A. H.
R e d s h a w , N. G. .
R e n d e l l , E. C.
R i c k a r d , D. T.
R i t c h i e , G.
R o b i n s o n , N. H.
R u s h , W. F.
R oughan, d;
R u s h , T. A.
S a g e , G.
S a n d s , T.
S a r g e a n t , W.
SlM OTICH, J. E.
S i m s , A. R .
S p e a r p o i n t , E. C.
S n o w d e n , A. S . C.
S t e w a r t , J. N . M cP.
S t e w a r t , W. J.
S m i t h , H. C.
S t r u t h e r s , H. L .
S t r i n g e r , D.
S o p e r , W. A.
T h o m s o n , J ‘.
T u r n e r , J. T .
T h o m so n , L . U .
U r q u h a r t , A.
V i n s o n , D. K.
W i l k i n s o n , E.
W i n t e r , G. S .
W r i g h t , J.
W e s t , G. i
W i l l i a m s , G. A.
, W i l s o n , R. H.
SOLDIERS5 PIE
‘E”
2nd L t.
D y k e s , J. G.
P i n f o l d , C. M.
H u g h e s , L. M.
Cl e r e , F . T .
C.S.M. M o r p e t h , G. D.
C.Q.M.S. G e o r g e , W. A. T .
Sergt. G o r r i e , A. R.
L a n g r id g e , H . E .
,,
W il l is , A . N . d e L .
P o t ts, R . H .
,,
M o r peth , S.
Corpl. B o s w e l l , G.
,,
D ix o n , J.
H a r r is o n , W .
M acG regor, L.
M a r tin , G. W .
R o x b u r g h , G. P .
,,
S w i n e y , F. A. E.
,,
T arleton, J. B .
B arker, H .
,,
/,
R oss, J. K.
,,
.W
E . G.
C l i n k a r d , C. T.
COULAM, H.
D u n c a n , E.
Mapp, R. W .
M c K a y , E. D .
N eedham , L. H .
N elso n , W . H .
T i e r n e y , P.
W il s o n , W . F .
W o o d , A . E.
K n i g h t , S . G.
S h o r t, W . J.
W i l l i a m s , S . E.
A d a m s , V. G.
A gnew , J .
A r t h u r , C. R .
B a k e r , J.
B annatyne, N.
B a r r y , F. H.
B ell, R . W .
B e n n e t t , J. H .
B ra m ley , O. L .
B renchley, T. H .
B r o w n , F. W.
B u c h a n a n , J.
C a m p b e l l , A . N.L
C a r t e r , W. R .
Ca s s e l s , A .
Ca s s e r l y , J .
C l a r e , J. P.
Co k e r , A .
Co l l in s , A . W .
D u d s o n , N . J.
D u n s m u i r , J.
E v e t t s , H. J.
F e l l, J.
L.-Corpl.
P te.
haley,
57
COMPANY.— 32nd Reinforcement
Pte.
F i r m s t o n , W. J . H.
G a v in , J.
G e r r a r d , G.
G il m e r , J. H .
. G u t h r i e , A. M .
H a r d w i c k , H . A.
H a r r i s o n , R. C.
H e n n e s s y , C.
H o l t , R. J .
H u m p h r e y s , R. C.
J a c k so n , G.
J a m e s, D .
J e n n i n g s , A.
K e l l y , A. S .
K i n g , S . W.
K n i g h t , C.
L a l o r , T. P .
L a n g , J . H.
M a c k a y , H. L .
M a c k e n z ie , A .
, Ma lpa ss, H .
Mandeno, F. N.
M ic h ie , W .
M i l l e r , T. E.
M i l t o n , F . E.
M o rgan, M.
M u n d y , R. B .
M u r p h y , J.
My er s, F.
M c A r t h u r , D . H.
M c C l i n t o c k , W. F .
M c C l o y , H.
M c F a d y e n , H. M .
M cG il l iv r a y , A . S.
M cIv o r , J.
M cD o n a l d , F .
M c L e a n , T. A .
M cK a y , J.
M c L a r e n , T. C.
M c L e l l a n d , E.
M cM u r d o , A .
M c Q u a r r i e , J . E.,
N a sh , A.
N e il l , A .
N el so n , A.
N e l s o n , J. A .
N o l a n , J. J.
O ’B r i e n , T. J.
O ’B r i e n ; W. ,
O ’B r i e n , W.- F .
O ’K e e f e , J .
O x l e y , R. W. C.
O X L EY , W. C. P .
O ’M e a r a , J. J.
P a g e , L.
P a u l , J. C.
P e a k e , T. N .
P e l l o w , W. H .
P t e . P e r r y , W. F.
P h i n i x , J.
P l a c e , G.
P o l l o c k , D. L.
PO YNTER, W. D.
Q u i l l , T . E.
Q u i r k , A. E.
R e i d , E.
R i e l l y , W. C.
R i c k a r d s , N . K.
R o a c h , G. J.
R o bso n , R .
R o g e r , D.
R o s s e r , H . F.
R u b y , E.
R u s h t o n , A. ,'
R u t h e r f o r d , R . J.
R u t l e d g e , J. A.
S a l t , D. A.
S h a n d , E.
S h a r p e , F. J. E.
Sharratt, E . T.
S h a w , R . C.
Shaw , T.
S h i p p e n , G.
S i m m o n s , G. A.
■S l a d e , J . A.
S m e r d o n , W.
S m i t h , C. D.
S m i t h , R. H .
S o l l e y , S . R.
S t o n f , J.
S t r o n g , W.
T a y l o r , J.
T h o m a s , A.
T h o m a s , E.
T h o m a s , W . J.
T h o r p e , R . D. B.
T i m l i n , G. B.
T o m k i n s , L. W .
T o s t e v in , W .
T r i p h o o k , C. E.
V eale, T.
W a i n w r i g h t , C.
W a l t e r s , L.
W e b b , A. R.
W h it f o r d , H .
W i l l i a m s , A. J.
W i l l i a m s , G.
W i l l i a m s , W . P . C.
W lL S H E R E , P .
W i l s o n , A. W .
W i l s o n , R.
W i l t o n -C r a i g , R. D.
W o o d , C.
W r i g h t , A.
W r i g h t , W . J.
Y a n d a l l , J. B.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
58
‘F ”
2nd L t. Cox, N. D.
W e l l s , J. P.
S t r a c h a n , P. D. W .
C.S.M. M a s o n , A . G.
C.Q.M.S. C a m p b e l l , G. G.
Sergt. A d a m s ; K. E.
H a i g h , N. C.
L a w r e ,n c e , F. S.
M o ffa t , J. B .
N i c o l l , J. H.
V a l l a n c e , L . O.
Corpl. A l e x a n d e r , W. J.
,,
B a x t e r , W . J.
C o o k , JI.
C h r i s t e n s e n , J. C..
D o b s o n , J. W .
D o d d s, L.
,,
F a u l k n e r , J. L .
L y n c h , T. W.
M o o r e, G.
,,
M a sso n , J.
M cCa l l , J . R .
R i g d e n , W. T.
S m it h , A . J .
L.-Corpl. A l e x a n d e r , H. J.
B e c k , H. W.
B u r t , E.
D o n a l d s o n , I?. G .
F o o t h e a d , A. A.
F r a n c i s , G . R.
H a z l e t t , E. C.
H e r o n , A. J. G .
L i n d s a y , R. J.
M o r r i s , A. E.
M c G r e g o r , A. S .
M cK e n z ie , S. W .
P a r k e r , G . A.
P te. A m i e s , T. B. S.
,,
A n d er so n , D .
,,
A n d r e w , J. D .
,, B a i l e y , G . H .
B all, W .
,.
B a u c k e , C. O. R.
.„
B a y l i s , G. H.
,, B e l l , A . C.
,, B r i a l e y , G . F .
,,
B r is t o w , G . H .
,,
B r Oc k i e , H .
,,
B rooker, P. A.
,,
B r o w n , A . J.
,,
B r o w n , J.
,,
C a m e r o n , A. J. K.
,,
Ca m e r o n , D .
,,
Ca r t e r , I.
,,
Ch a r l e s, H .
Co le, R . H .
,,
C o l e m a n , G. V.
,,
C o l l e t t , W. A.
,,
C o n s t a b l e , F . T. <
,,
Co n w a y , H .
,,
Corm ack , D .
COMPANY. —32nd Reinforcement
Pte.
C u l v e r , R. J .
D a l g l i e s h , S.
S.
A.
. D ’A th , G . M .
D a v i e s , A. P .
D a v i s , W. R.
D i l l o n , J . S.
D iv e r , H .
D o b s o n , J. T.
D u n l o p , J. C. M .
D u r n e t t , R.
E l l is , J.
E verest, A.
F a l l o n , J.
F a m i l t o n , A. L v
F e r r a c e , C. H .
F i e l d , V . R.
F i n l i n s o n , A. J.
F i s h e r , F . lG . C.
F i t z g e r a l d , J. T.
F l a n n e r y , M.
Flynn, F. E.
F o r d e , J.
F r a s e r , H . T.
F u l l a r t o n , R.
G a l l a g h e r , M . J.
G i l l i e s , D . A.
G l o v e r , W. A.
G o u g h -G i b b i n s , G .
H a i g h , W. F .
H a il w o o d , H .
H a n c o c k , P . W.
H a r l e y , W. A.
H a y e s, J.
H e w l e t t , F . W.
H i l s l e y , C.
H olcroft, G.
H ook, H .
H a s l e r , A.. D.
H u n t e r , R.
I r e l a n d , D. J.
J o h n s t o n , W~. R.
K e a n , J. S.
K e n n e d y , J.
K i n g , G. A.
K n o w l e s , J.
K n o x , J. J.
L i n d s a y , W. A.
L i n d s a y , W. J.
L i n t o n , H . G.
L u m s d e n , W.
L y n c h , J.
M a c e y , W. H .
M a d i g a n , R.
M a l i n s , W. H .
M a r d o n , L . A. J .
M a r t in , G . E .
M i l l s , J . Ar
M in e s , D .
M o r g a n , A. G .
Munro, S.
P t e . M u r r a y , J. J. H.
M u n r o , W . G.
M c K i n l e y , A. M .
M c C a l l u m , W . R.
M c D o n a l d , J. A.
M c G i n n i t y , J! L. ,
M c G r a t h , J.
M c I l r o y , J.
M c K e n z i e , J. W . W .
M c M u r c h i e , T.
N e e l y , W . L. J.
N e i l s o n ,' W . C.
N ic h o l s o n , D .
N o r m a n , G . H.
O ’C o n n e r , A. V.
P a r n e l l , T.
P a sk ell, W .
P a t e r s o n , J.
P e r r y , J.
P i c k e r i n g , H.
P o w e r , R . F.
P o w l e y , J.
P r e c h n e r , H.
R a d e s k e , A.
R e e d , P.
R o b e r t s o n , D.
R o l l i n s , P. V.
R o w e , T.
Sa m pso n , R .
S c o t t , W . L.
S cott, W .
S c u r r , D.
S h a w , J.
S j i a w , R. E.
S h e a r e r , J. D .
Sheehan, P.
S h i r r i f f s , F. S . •
S m it h , G .
S m it h , D . S .
S m i t h , W . H.
S n o w d e n , F. B.
S o m e r v i l l e , H.
S u t h e r l a n d , A.
T a s k e r , P. C.
T a y l o r , J.
T a y l o r , S.
T e m p l e t o n , J.
T horpe, T.
W a d e , W . M.
W a l k e r , E. S.
W a r n e r , B. B.
W e e d s , A. E.
W e l l s , M. T.
W e n z l ic k , G .
W e s t w o o d , F.
W h a r t o n , F.
W h i t e , L.
W o o d , W . C.
W r i g h t , J.
Y e a d o n , C. E.
SOLDIERS’ PIE
59
32nd N.Z.F.A.
Gnr. C o w p e r , W . D.
L ieu t. P h i l l i p s , E. J.
G a r d i n e r , G. F.
B.S.M . R a p s o n , T . H.
Q.M.S. T i b b l e , J. E.'
Sergt. H o w ie , J. R .
,,
M c G r e g o r , J. A . G.
P a t e r s o n , J. I.
Corpl. M u l l i g a n , P. G. H.
M i l l a r , K . C.
K e n n e d y , D. H.
B r o w n , L. C.
S.S ' E l v y , C. K .
Bom b. G r e e n , O. H.
W i l l c o x , W . N . C.
P o p p e l w e l l , F. E . B.
,,
C a r p e n t e r , F . .V.
F i n d l a y , G.
• ,,
J e f f e r i e s , N . H.
S t e e l , T . J.
,,
K e e n , J. C.
Gnr. A s h e r , F.
,, A d a m s , E. E.
,, A n t h o n y , A . H.
,, • B a i l e y , A. L .
,, B e a v e n , E.
1
,, B e l l , A . L .
,, B a i r d , S.
,, B r u c e , H . Q.
,, B r a d f o r d , C. H.
,, B u r n e t , H. J. W.
,, B r o u g h , L.
,, B r id g e r , C. E .
,, C a m p b e l l , G. L .
,, C l a y t o n -G r e e n e , E . >F.
„
C h i l d , P. W . A . Y . ' ‘
,, CORLETT, L. E.
,, C o r n w a l l , R. P.
Gnr. M i c h a e l s .
M o o r , R . S.
M u l v a y , J. O.
M u d g e , G. A.
M a c k e y , S.
M o u n t f o r t , H. V.
M c G i l l , E . G.
M c L e o d , D.
N e i l l , D. W. J.
N i m o n , W . A.
P o o l e , A. M.
P a r k , L. M.
R e d g r a v e , C. E.
R e n d e l , L . E . C.
R o u t, N.
R y a n , L. J.
R o g e r s , G. R .
S c a m b a r y , W . G.
S m it h , F. D. M.
S m it h , V .
S t e p h e n s , W. H.
S p r i n g , E. C.
T a y l o r , C.
T h o m p s o n , R . L.
T h o r b u r n , J. K.
T u r n b u l l , F.
T h o r n t o n , P. J.
T h o m p s o n , L.
, W r ig h t , E. V.
W a l k e r , A. R .
W a t s o n , L. L.
W e r e , A. A.
W H i t a k e r , A,
W h i t e h o u s e , C. M.
W i l l o u g h b y , J. H.
C o u s t o n , C. K .
D a w s o n , A. G.D a v i s , C. R.
D i l l o n , J. J.
D u n n , F. L .
D u n c a n , I. L .
D i c k i e , N . M.
E t e v e n e a u x , H.
E d w a r d s , H. E.
F a r q u h a r s o n , A. R.
F i s h e r , A. S.
F l e t c h e r , G. V .
F o r s y t h , R. A.
F u ller ton , L. E.
G i b s o n , G.
G l e e s o n , A. H.
G o m e r , W . G.
H a r r i s , P. C.
H a r t l e y , J.
H a m il t o n ,' D.
H i n t o n , P. A.
H e lm sle y , W.
H u g h e s , R. A. M.
H a w k e s w o o d , A.
I r v i n e , W; R.
J a m e s , H . F.
J o h n s , E. W.
J o h n s t o n , A, W.
K n e w s t u b b , R.
K e r n o t , A. J.
K e y e s , B. A.
L a v i n , M. A.
L e o n a r d o , C. F.
L e t h b r i d g e , H . B.
L i s s i n g t o n , S. R.
L e e c e , M. E .
32nd SPECIALISTS.— MACHINE
2nd L t. G e o r g e , D.
,,
M a r s h a l l , F.
R.S.M. C o n n e l l y .
Sergt. A n d e r s o n , S. J.
W a l k e r , C. E .
,,
F e n n , L. C.
Corpl. B r e n n a n , J.
„
F r eem a n , L. B.
L.-Corpl. B r o w n l e e , G.
„
H u n t e r , E . J.
„
' Sp e e d y , E.
Pte. B a r c l a y , P. A .
,, B a r r e t t , F.
,, B a y e s , H . S.
„
B i s s e t t , P. A.
,,
B r is c o , F.
P te. B r o w n e ,, E. R.
,, C l a r k s o n , A. R.
.,, C o t t o n , C.
/, D o n a l d s o n , G. J.
,, G e a r y , D.
,, H a i g , J. S. B.
,, H a u g h t o n ', W.
,, H i c k s , J. R.
,, H o l l i s , W. G.
,, H y l a n d , J. F.
„ L e e , T. T.
„ Manson, W.
,, M u r r a y , R. J.
,, M c C o n n o c h ie , H . D .
,, M c C r e a r y , T .
,, O f f i c e r , R . H.
GUNNERS
Pte. O ’C o n n o r , P.
„ P a r i s , W . J.
W.
„
,,
,,
„
,,
,,
,,
,,
,,
,,.
,,
,,
P il k i n g t o n , R .
R o b e r t s , H. D.
R i d g l e y , F . A.
R il e y , T.
R o s s o n , H.
R u s s e l l , F,
S m a il l , J. R .
S p a i n , J.
S t e e l , A. C.
T h o m a s , N . R . C.
W il s o n , H. G.
W i l l i a m s , A. C.
6o
SOLDIERS' PIE
32nd
2nd L t. G u i n n e s s , E . R.
C.S.M. D o n a l d s o n , A. R,. G.
Q,M .S. S im p s o n , J.
Sergt. R oss, R. M.
SPECIALISTS.— SIG N ALLER S
Pte. A l l o o , A P.
C orpl. M e a d , H . H .
S t r a c h a n , D. G.
L.-Corpl. B l o m f i e l d , L. D.
H a l e y , H . J.
, H i c k e y , L. Y .
Spa r n an , R. W.
S t u d d , L. N.
W o o d w a r d , G. G.
Pte. A h e r n , J. W .
N.Z.
C.S.M. B a r t l e y , F . P.
Sergt. L a n g b e i n , F .
Corpl. T o r r i e , E . G.
L.-Corpl. F i f i e l d , F.
Spr. B a s s e t t , A.
,, C a r v e r , J. F. F.
„ C ox, W. T.
,.
,,
,,
P te. M a y , F. R .
M i t c h e l l , E . J.
M o o n e y , P. M.
N ic o l s o n , J. S.
O a t e s , E. J.
O ’D e a , J. P.
P a l m e r , H. D.
R o n n i e , A.
S m e d l e y , D. L.
V e r c o e , F. T.
W il k in s o n , N .
W o o d h a m , A. E.
W il s o n , R . L.
A n d erso n , A. E.
B e r £ y , J. L.
B r in g a n s , A . D .
B r o c k e t , P. C.
C a m p b e l l , R. J.
D i x o n , R.
D im o n d , G. C.
D u n c a n , W. A .
D o u g l a s , J. G.
E d w a r d s , E . J.
J o n e s , P. F .
M a r t in ,
■< jgwhere I kno
| iusoul ever sp
lijl feel that sc
I Jknow you as
'i-tmsts inane
i speaks the:
ianswers me 1
iliometimes m
^sometimes m
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jbw that some
la d where the
meet, >nd y<
-ikeday, somewh
ENGINEERING TUNNELLING CORPS
Spr. E l l i o t t , G. M c D.
F e b e y , C.
F o r t u n e , C. S.
G e o r g e , W.
G i l l , L. C.
Spr. M o u l d e y , L. F .
P e a r c e , F. W .
P o o l , A. R .
P r a t t , J.
R a l p h , L. B.
R o l l s , G. W .
R o s e i n g r a v e , J.
J a m e s , J. F.
J o h n s , G.
K e a r n s , W. T,
M o r r is , E . H.
M o r r i s s e y , J.
Cr eam er , H.
D i c k e y , S.
D r i v e r , F.
ENGINEER
R y a n , P.
W a t s o n , M.
W e b b , J.
J.
i \DEAR u
in little house
"1 And a tiny gai
iliere we lived i
Grown dearer
* but the sin
p ro se s or lili
ive was the swi
la that dear li;
ATTACHED
Sergt. L a r s e n ,
n
^r little home,
Mt of ab a
'ithe joyous p
A. W.
» make the
. ^ w e recked i
1
N.Z.M.C. OFFICERS,
Officers.— Capt. R o b e r t s o n , P.M.O.
,,
D e r r ic k .
Awapuni Section :—
Corpl. SCRYMGEOUR.
L.-Corpl. G r e a v e s .
,,
L in d a u e r .
Sp e n c e .
Pte. B i l l c l i f f .
B urke.
Cooper.
D aw son .
Grayso n.
F y so n .
N.C.O.’s AND
MEN
ON BOARD
P te. H a l l .
H in t o n .
K err.
L ees.
M cF a d d in .
M cGregor.
Mayell.
N e v is o n .
O rr.
P erso n .
R o u s s e l -C o s s e y .
Sh ar pe.
Sherw ood.
Spelm an . .
W arren. ,
:;rPeace and Lc
that dear lit
f little home 1
» d i n that
cruel War
f s
,
« S 5 !
.'" b td e a rlitt
Campbell
3 « % .'S r e
SOLDIERS’ PIE
ODDS AND
SOME D A Y
Somewhere I know you are waiting,
You r soul ever speaks unto mine ;
And I feel th at some day I shall meet you
And know you. and love for all time.
In your eyes I shall read the true friendship
T h at trusts in and keeps me th ro’ all,
W hich speaks there the long years of absence
And answers me here when I call.
A h ! sometimes methinks I can hear you !
And sometimes methinks I can see
Y o u r hand reaching out from the shadows
And beck’ning from Heaven to me !
I know th at some day I shall meet you
Beyond where the long shadows lie.
W e’ll meet, $t,nd you’ll know th at I loved you
Someday, somewhere, you and I.
J., “ C ” C o m p a n y .
D E A R L IT T L E HOME O F M IN E
Dear little house with its cool grey walls
And a tiny garden gay,
Where we lived in an earthly Paradise
Grown dearer day b y day.
None but the simplest flowers grew there,
No roses or lilies fine ;
L ove was the sweetest flow er'that bloomed
In th at dear little home of mine.(
D ear little home, you have heard, I know.
The lilt of a baby voice,
And the joyous patter of baby feet
T h at make the heart rejoice.
L ittle we recked of the gathering clouds
In th a t glorious summer tim e ;
For Peace and Love seemed to reign supreme
In th a t dear little home of mine.
D ear little home ! Now only in dreams
I stand in th at garden gay ;
For the cruel War-Clouds stand between
The flowers and' the walls of grey.
Y e t God is good and Love is L ife,
And we know th at in His own tim e
We shall go. again to our Paradise
In th at dear little home of mine.
M o l l ie F u l fo r d B r o w n .
Q.M.S. Campbell has now1 started buying his
own cigarettes. ’S remarkable ! H e’s quite sane,
too !.!
W e have heard on excellent authority th at
Sergeant Adams has announced his intention of
cleaning his pipe at an early date. This will
save the Government the expense of issuing
respirators to “ F ” Company.
61
ENDS
T H E C A N T E E N C H IE F
There is a serene impassiveness about the
Canteen Chief th a t is interesting. He has a
superb nonchalance in the taking of the soldiers’
c o in . th at shows an uncommercial soul. He
slips you a sheaf of tickets as though he were
passing the butter at a breakfast-table. The
canteen itself has a rakish air th at suggests a
^Wild-West store specially designed for the
fleecing of the unwary, bu t the stolid bulk of the
“ B o s s ” dispels the idea. His personality
x pervades the cantefen; he makes you feel, in
spite of reason, th a t the canteen, like himself,
is beyond the trickeries of commerce. Instinc­
tiv ely you trust him.
L o t is .
T H E DOC.
H e makes sick-parade a pleasure. He speaks
your name as if he knew you. His voice is soft
and pleasant.
Shaw I think it is who said,
“ A ll professions are conspiracies against the
la ity .” You forget the “ Doc ” belongs to one of
the worst. He has somehow risen above his trade
and retained a delightful kindliness. Beyond
that, he is quick in his decisions and accurate in
his diagnosis. A fine, interesting personality.
L o t is .
H OW IT G ET S D OW N
O.C. R eft to Second-in-Command :
“ Captain Blank, you will instruct the O.C.’s
to instruct their officers to instruct their N .C.O .’s
to inform their men when th ey come in th at th ey
m ust shave.”
Th.ere is a Quartermaster-Sergeant on the
transport who spent part of his life in America,
amongst the cowboys, and has often said he can
wield a rope in true cowboy fashion. He reckons
he once lassooed a ---------- but here’s the rhyme
someone’s sent in about it :— •
There is a Quartermaster named R ---- -- -,1
W ho’s continually in a big bustle.
He wandered one day
To some falls far aw ay
And lassooed a trout— -not a mussel.
(Tune, “ There is a H appy Lan d .” )
There is an O.C. company,
(We won’t give his name)
P ’raps he thinks his life would be
V ery— -very tam e
If he’d cut out “ not a m ove ! ”
Just keep calm and p lay the game
Sure, his men he’d greatly soothe
Though his. life were tame.
AD V E RTISEM E N T S.
BOOKS.
BOOKS.
BOOKS.
T rials and Tribulations of an O.C. Coy.
C are of F eet.
-
-
-
-
Lieut. Thompson .
Cpl. M cGregor.
A Q uarterm aster’s D ept, as a Paying! „ ,
._
C oncern
J Major M °unseyConfessions of an O.C* C anteen. ,
-
Lieut. M cK ellar.
A Program m e for F irst P o rt of Call,
M ines and Torpedoes : H ow they w ork.
P in fo ld ^ ^
Q .M .S . George.
Life on the O cean, W ave. (Fiction.) R ev. B a tty .
M an versus C a m e l: or T w enty-one
days W ithout a D rink. Essays and
Maxims by the Ship’s Company.
ENTERTAINM ENT
E v ery morning (Sundays excepted), in O rderly Room,
sta rrin g
OH SEE, Chinese Comedian.
A lw ays w o rth w hile, n ev er dull.
P riz es for all.
Adm ittance free to soldiers in uniform.
HOME
FOR SOLDIERS.
“ A rt thou w e a r y ?
A rt thou l a n g u i d ? ”
If so, come and stay with us at C link H ouse. Splen­
did situation, the view astern being unparalleled. D ie t,
sim ple; furnishings plain but homely.
For fu rth er p a rtic u la rs consult K in g 's R e g u la tio n s .
ADVERTIS EMENTS.
W ANTED.
TXTA N T E D TO S E L L — >2,000 acres of-Pacific
VV Ocean, good undulating, rising to
. rolling hills'; would exchange for portion
of Willis Street, Wellington.— A pp ly “ S e a -
A N TE D TO S E L L — 2,000 post-holes,
cheap. Must be removed before 32nd
Septober, 1990.— A pply “ P o r i r u a .”
W
A N T E D ‘ TO B U Y — D aylight in - any
quantity for use after lights out.—
A pply “ .V i n g t -e t - u n C o m m i t t e e .”
W
W
A N T E D — •“ Gor Blim eys.” — ’Apply early
to any Subaltern Officer.
A N T E D — -An official Beer Taster.
A pply Editor of Soldiers’ P ie. ' (Owing
to the fact th at on a previous occasion when
applications were called for v this position
ten men were killed in'the rush, two m ilitary
police will be on duty to regulate the traffic.)
W
W
LO ST AND FO U N D .
str ayed
or
s t o l e n — 53
articles (to wit, a pack of cards and a
corkscrew), the-property of S e r g e a n t L a w ­
ren ce.
Anyone found retaining pr detaining
same will be forced to commit H ari-K ari by
smoking one of Sergeant Lawrence’s cigars.
L
o st,
OST— A. Thirst. Please return to Lieut,
(censored), care Editor, before reaching
next port of call.
L
F
IOUND— A. no license district where liquor
cannot be purchased.
OST— a .cross containing four s ta rs ;
last seen south of the “ line.” V ery
much cherished by owner.
Great jo y
awaiting lu c k y ' finder.
L
A N T E D — -An Official Distributor of
Rumours for H. M. N. Z. T. — A pply
E d ito r.
SOME BLARE.
M A T R IM O N IA L .
Y
OUNG SO LD IE R , Commissioned, of
slightly florid complexion, with large
life insurance, would like to correspond with
young w id o w ; owner of a Pub preferred.—
vApply No. 9 C a b i n , H .M .N .Z .T .
I,
the
undersigned,
am
prepared to meet any man,
irrespective of
rank (night
preferred), to prove my state­
m ent that I am the Champion
If you feel run down try our Celebrated
AQUA SODIUM TREATMENT
Highly recommended for all nervous
disorders.
Patients will be treated on the Upper
Deck from 5.15 to 5.45 each morning.
M A L IN G E R E R S A S P E C IA L IT Y .
N O T E .— "Each patient m ust be clothed in
his identity disc, and wear a smile.
Fighter on this
T ransport.
T hree rounds or a fight to
a finish to decide.
The above challenge is made
on one condition , viztJ boxing
gloves to be barred.
“ BLU E B E L L ;
ADVERTIS EMENTS.
A GRAND CONCERT
:WILL
BE
GIVEN
BY
“ F ” Coy. 32nd Reinforcements
On B O X IN G N IG H T .
ST A R J1RTISTS ! Trained to Beat the Band
At the TREN TH AM CON SERVATOIRE .
Expense no object.
All travelling thousands of miles to keep this Engagement.
So ROLL UP! ROLL UP!
Mr. CO X , L y rica l Tenor5, will sing
' ...
...
“ Com e down th e W ang an u i.”
' M r. W E L L S , Em inent B ariton e, sings about ...
“ A H undred Fathom s D eep.”
M r. S T R A C H A N will ferv en tly r e c i t e ...............“ T h e H ero of Sp ad gers L a n e .”
S ergts. H A IG H , A D A M S & V A L L A N G E , the celebrated trio, will render
‘ "The S erg ean t o f ‘the Line(r).”
S erg t.-M ajo r M A SO N , Sco ttish Basso, will sing
.......................... “ N otta M ove.”
Q r.-M aster-Sergt. C A M P B E L L will w arble
...
“ Stew ed Prunes and P rism s .”
P riva tes C A M E L IA W O O D S & L A N C E L O T B R O W N are booked to harm onise
in “ I D ream t th a t I dwelt in M arble B a r s .”
S en o r IK E C A R T E R , th e W orld-w ide R aconteur, will describe
“ How to D rive a H e a rse ,” and “ T h a t’s the S tu ff to give the T ro o p s .”
Cook P IC K E R IN G will brirtg te a rs when singing
...
“ I do so love an O n ion .”
S erg ts. L A W R E N C E & M O F F A T , Sentim ental Duo, both will qu ery—
“ I W onder w h o’s Kissing her now ? ’ ’
Sung with great fervour before the “ D u k e o f Edinburgh ” and other
fam ous hostelries.
L ance-Corpl. B U R T will sigh fo r th e tim e when “ I parted m y H air in th e M iddle.”
GRAND
T
he
Sto
C
FINALE.
fo r t h e Pan am a
T h e W orld-Renow ned P ugs:
“ L O N G I E ” T H O R P E , T h e Low er H u tt T e rro r,
u sh
h a m p io n s h ip
Be
lt
.
versus
“ ERB
M c G IN N IT Y , Th o rn d on ’s Pride.
T h is trem endous p ractice is scheduled to" last, w eath er perm itting,
T h ree Rounds A pplication and Tw o Rounds Rapid.
A ll Com e H ith er.
C lutch es-an d B in gey P u lverisers B arred .
::
THAT
TIRED
FEELING.
::
C.B. succeeds where everything else fails. Cures everything.
Though invented by barbarians, C .B . is recognised as the one
great remedy by all authorities {M edical Officers included).
C.B. may be taken in any quantity, and is guaranteed to
contain neither spirituous nor other harmful ingredients.
T 1 t __ _I- . j .__ “ Before using your cure I was always
1 ESTIMONIAL I tired on Parade; I am now in clink . ”
PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY R. CLAY AND SONS, LTD.,
BRUNSWICK ST., STAMFORD ST., S.E.I, AND BUNGAY, SUFFOLK.