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What is
Chris*an Coaching?
Frequently asked ques/ons and answers about Chris/an coaching
By Rev. C. Sco, Gress Mdiv, MSL, ACC
Copyright©2014byC.ScottGress
PublishedbyScottGressMDiv,MSL,ACC,scottgress.com.Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystem,or
transmitted,inanyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,recording,or
otherwise,withoutthepriorpermissionoftheauthor.
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Table of Contents
Introduction
Page5
WhatisthefoundationofChristianCoaching?
Page6
Whatiscoaching?
Page7
IsCoachingBiblical?Canitevenbe“Christian?”
Page8
WhataresomecoachingelementsintheBible?
Page8
IscoachingsinfulorisitablessingfromGod?
Page9
WhatmakesoneaChristianCoachandwhatistheirmindset?
Page9
WhatassumptionsdoestheChristianCoachhaveaboutthepersonbeingcoached?
Page10
Wheredidcoachingcomefrom?
Page10
Howdoescoachingwork?
Page11
Howiscoachingdifferentfromotherhelpingskills?
Page12
Consulting,Teaching
Page12
Counseling,Mentoring,Pastor,Advisor,
Page13
Coach,chartingthedifferences
Page14
Whenshouldcoachingbeused?
Page15
Whataboutusingcoachingforpastoralcare?
Page15
Whatplacecancoachingbeusedinleadingachurch?
Page15
Arethereanystandardsoroversightintheworldofcoaching?
Page16
Some“Commandments”forChristianCoaching
Page17
ConcludingThoughts
Page20
BibliographyofsomecoachingbooksfromaChristianperspective
Page21
Abouttheauthor
Page22
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Introduc*on
“Coaching”isawordthathascomeintopopularuseinrecentyears.Variouskindsofselfdescribed“coaches”haveemerged,advertisingwhattheydoascoaching.Someofthe
misunderstandingofcoachingisabasicconfusionwiththeworditself.Isitsomeonewho
tellssomeonewhattodolikeasportscoachcallingintheplays?Orisitsomethingelse?
Thentherearetheassumptionsandimpressionssomefromtheworldofcoachinggive
abouttherationale,powerandinYluenceofthecoachandthepersonbeingcoached.Itisno
wonderthatpeopleareskepticalornegativeaboutcoaching.
Thefollowingpagesseektoanswersomeofthemostfrequentlyaskedquestionsabout
coaching.Thegoalistoclarifyanddifferentiatecoachingfromotherhelpingskillsaswell
astodeYineanddifferentiateChristiancoachingfromotherswhopracticecoachinginour
worldtodaywhomaynotbefollowersofJesusChrist.
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What is the founda*on of “Chris*an” Coaching?
“Therefore,thereisnownocondemnationforthosewhoareinChristJesus.”Romans8:1
NIV.
“IconsidereverythingalosscomparedtothesurpassinggreatnessofknowingChristJesus
myLord,forwhosesakeIhavelostallthings.Iconsiderthemrubbish,thatImaygain
Christandbefoundinhim,nothavingarighteousnessofmyownthatcomesfromthelaw,
butthatwhichisthroughfaithinChrist—therighteousnessthatcomesfromGodandisby
faith”Philippians3:8–9NIV.
“Therefore,ifanyoneisinChrist,heisanewcreation;theoldhasgone,thenewhascome!”
2cor5:17NIV.
ItallbeginswiththegospelofJesusChrist.Itisentirely“inChrist”thattheChristiancoach
Yindstheirsalvation,identity,theirbeingandwhatfollows,whattheydo.Whatthatendsup
lookinglikeforacoachissomeonewhoprovidesthe“gracespace”forthecoachingclient
toexplorewheretheyare,wheretheyneedtobeandhowtogetthere.
Itisonly“inChrist”thatwecantrulybeforgiven,dietoselfandliveforothers.Andinthe
coachingrelationship,dyingtoselfiscritical,foundationalandnecessary.“It’snotabout
you”isaphrasethatYitsespeciallywellforthecoachingrelationship.Thepointisthat
knowingwhoyouare“inChrist”andalso“whose”youare,istheplacetobegin.Itisfrom
thatplacewherethecoachcantrulydevotethemselvestoJesusandthepersonacrossfrom
themand“do”thebestkindofcoachingthatwillservethecoachingclientfortheirhighest
good.
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What is coaching?
Tobegin,wearenottalkingaboutsportscoaching.Wealsoarenottalkingabouttelling
someonewhattodo.Rather,coachingisahelpingskillthatinvolvesafocuseddialogue
primarilythroughquestionsonthepartofthecoach.
VariousdeYinitionsofcoachinghavebeendevelopedtodescribemorepreciselywhat
happensduringacoachingdialogue.
“Partneringwithclientsinathoughtprovokingandcreativeprocessthatinspiresthemto
maximizetheirpersonalandprofessionalpotential.”FromtheInternationalCoach
Federation.
“Coachingisunlockingaperson'spotentialtomaximizetheirgrowth.”“Coaching...is
helping[people]tolearnratherthanteachingthem.”JohnWhitmore,inCoachingfor
Performance
“Coachingistheartandpracticeofguidingapersonorgroupfromwheretheyaretoward
thegreatercompetenceandfulYillmentthattheydesire.”GaryCollins,inChristianCoaching
“Coachingispracticingthedisciplinesofbelievinginpeopleinordertoempowerthemto
change.”TonyStoltzfus,inLeadershipCoaching,theDisciplines,HeartandSkillsofa
ChristianCoach
“MentoringisimpartingtoyouwhatGodhasgivenme;coachingisdrawingoutofyouwhat
Godhasputinyou.”DaleStoll
“Coachingishelpingpeoplegrowwithouttellingthemwhattodo.”
“[Coachingis]helpingpeoplediscoverwhattheycouldnotdiscoverontheirown,sothey
canbecomewhattheywanttobecome.”AubreyMalphurs,inMaximizingYourEffectiveness
WiththesedeYinitions,coachingcaneasilyapplytomanyinstanceswhereoneistobe
helpedandsupportedinone’sdevelopmentbyanother.Thereforecoachingcanbeof
serviceinmanyarenasoflife.Thespectrumcanrunfromaninformalonetime
conversationtoalongertermformalcoachingrelationship.
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Is Coaching Biblical? Can coaching even be “Chris*an?”
TheBibledoesnotusetheword“coach”nordoesitspeakofcoaching.Yetthereare
numerousexamplesofthishelpingskillreYlectedinvariousconversationsintheBible.
Theymaynotbeawholecoachingconversationyetpartsandpiecesoftheelementsofa
coachingconversationarepresentinmanyoftheinteractionsintheBible.
Coaching Elements in the Bible
GodseeksAdamandEveinthegardenandcalls,“Whereareyou?”(Gen3:9).Godsaysto
Cain,“Whyareyouangry?”and“WhereisyourbrotherAbel?”(Gen4:6&9).CertainlyGod
knewtheanswerstothesequestionsbutinkeepingwithwhatwemaycallgoodcoaching,
Godasksthesequestionsforthehearer’sbeneYitratherthantosimplygaininformationor
makeapoint.Thesequestionsserveahigherpurpose,toraiseawarenessinAdamandCain
aboutwhathashappenedsotheyunderstandtheseriousnessofwhattheyhavedone.You
mayevensaythatitisinthebroadercategoryofpreachingthelawasthehearer,inthis
caseCain,couldcometoanawarenessofhissinandguilt.
WhenJethrojoinedupwithMosesheobservedhowMoseswasmanagingthejudgmentfor
thepeople.Jethrobeganwithaquestion,“Whatisthisyouaredoingforthepeople?”Then
therewasafollowupquestion,“Whydoyoualonesitasjudge,whileallthesepeoplestand
aroundyoufrommorningtillevening?”(Ex18:14).ThiscausesMosestoanswerhimand
trytoexplain.Itdoesnotsayhowlongthisdialoguegoeson.Yetonemayinferthatthis
explorationofthefactsandthequestionbyJethrothatithelpedMosestobeopenminded
towhatfollowedfromJethro,speciYicallysomepracticaladviceaboutdelegationand
managingthework.
Nathanemploysthemetaphorofthepoormanandhisyoungewelambin2Samuel12.
ThisledtoDavid’sawarenessofhisownsinandtheseriousnatureofwhathehaddone.If
NathanhadsimplysaidtoDavid,“yousinnedagainstGod”inadirectway,likesomany
otherprophetshavedone,itmaystillhavehaditsintendedeffect.Yetinthiscasethestory
ormetaphoroftheabuseofthepoormangotpastDavid’spotentialdenialofhisownsin
andpowerfullyconvictedhimwhenNathansaidtohim,“youaretheman”(2Sam12:7).
Incoaching,thereisagoalof“connectingthedots”andhelpusseebeyondourownblind
spotsordenialthroughquestionsthatdirectustothinkinwayswemaynothavethought
about.
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InLuke10Jesusansweredaquestionwithaquestion:“Ononeoccasionanexpertinthe
lawstooduptotestJesus.‘Teacher,’heasked,‘whatmustIdotoinheriteternallife?’26
‘WhatiswrittenintheLaw?’hereplied.‘Howdoyoureadit?’”inLuke9Jesuswaspraying
inprivateandhisdiscipleswerewithHim.Heaskedthemthequestion,“Whodothe
crowdssaythatIam?”ThenJesushadafollowupquestionaftertheiranswers.“Butwhat
aboutyou?WhodoyousayIam?”Thiswasameanstoteachandalsoameanstogetpeople
tothink.Itwasnotmanipulative,buthelpfultoguidethemthroughthethinkingprocess
andowningtheiranswers.
Is coaching sinful or a blessing from God?
WehaveanappreciationforGod’sgiftsinmanyareasoflife(James1:17).ManythingsYlow
fromGod’sgracioushandasHeprovidesforeverylivingthing(Psalm145:16).Inthat
senseGodprovidesHisgiftslikecounselingandteachingandalsocoaching.Inthissense,
coachingcanbeChristianaslongasaChristianpracticescoachingfromthepostureand
assumptionsofaChristian.
Furthermore,wewouldnotrejectoutofhandcoachingassinful,unholyorpatently
unchristianjustbecausesomenon-Christiansapplyunchristianoranti-Christian
assumptionsorprinciplestotheircoaching.Inthesameway,wewouldnotreject
counselingoutofhandjustbecauseSigmundFreudorCarlJungorsomeotherearly
inYluentialpsychologistpromotedsomeunbiblicalorantichristianpsychologicaltheories.
AswithanygiftfromGoditcanbeabusedorappreciated,acurseorablessing.
What makes one a Chris*an Coach and what is their mindset?
ForthecarefulChristianwhoalsoisacoach,theywillrememberthatanyonewhohasbeen
baptizedbyChristhave“putonChrist”(Gal3:27).Theywillseethemselvesas“in
Christ”(Rom6,8;2Cor5:17,19;Eph1:3).Theywillholdtothepromisethattheyare
connectedtothevine,ChristJesusandproducefruitthroughHim(John15;Luke19:11-27;
Mark11:13—14;Eph2:10).Thisfruitisnotbytheirownstrengthorbytheirowntraining
orwisdomasacoachoranythingelse,butonlyinChrist.
Thisperspectivemakesaworldofdifferencewhenthecoachinteractswithothersin
generalbutevenmoreimportantlywhentheyareinacoachingrelationship.Therewillbe
loveanddevotiontotheonebeingcoachedasareYlectionofhowGodrelatestous.“We
lovebecauseHeYirstlovedus”(1John4:19).Thefruitofthespiritwillbeevident(Gal5:22
&1Cor13).Therewillbeaspiritofhumilityasthecoachconsidersothers“betterthan
(them)selves”Phil2:3.Therewillbealosingofones-selfinservicetotheonebeing
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coachedandtheywillbringaspiritofworshiptoallthattheydo(Eph5:20“givingthanks
ineverything”andCol3:17“doingeverythinginthenameoftheLordJesusChrist”).Itwill
notbeaboutthemascoach.Thefocuswillbeonservingtheonewhoisbeingcoached.
What assump*ons does the Chris*an Coach have about the person being coached?
WhetherthepersonbeingcoachedisaprofessingChristiansornot,theChristiancoach
seesthemaspeopleforwhomChristdied(John3:16).Coacheswillunderstandthatthey
andtheonesbeingcoachedarenotperfect,buttheywillalsounderstandthatJesusdiedfor
bothofthem.ThatmeansthatbotharepersonsthatGodlovesandseekstoforgive.This
viewofGodtowardstheotherwillcausetheself-aware,matureChristiancoachtonotfall
intomanipulation,controllingbehaviors,orotherwisehaveunhealthyattitudesor
boundarieswithrespecttothepersontheycoach.
Oneprominentcoachingschooladvocatesahighviewofthepersonbeingcoachedaswell.
Theysaythatpeopleare“naturallycreative,resourcefulandwhole.”AsChristianswe
wouldputitdifferentlyofcourse.Wemightsaythatpeopleare“naturallycreative,
resourcefulandwholeonlythroughChrist.”
Co-authorofFaithCoaching,ChristiancoachChadHallwritesinhisblogthroughCoach
ApproachMinistries(http://ca-ministries.com/a-respone-to-gospel-coach)thatsomereact
withstrongnegativitytocoachingbecauseofwhattheyperceiveaspreconceivedinherent
entanglementofcoachingwithhumanismwhereitteachesthatpeoplearebasicallygood
andneedtolookwithin.NottruefortheChristianCoach.HallsaysthatChristiansmaylook
withinto“discoverhiddenstrengths,latenttalent,unusedknowledge,unappliedwisdom,
dormantvalues,andself-evidentevidencethattheirlifeisnotaligningwith(the
scriptures).”Butnotfortheirowngoodnessandneverforsalvation.
Where did coaching come from?
Historically,Socrateswasknownforhisquestionstoengagethestudents.Itwasaformof
inquirywherebyquestionswouldbeusedtostimulatecriticalthinkingandilluminate
ideas.Socratic,thought-provokingquestionsareacornerstoneofcoachingastheyfacilitate
thinkingoutloud,developcriticalandcreativethinkingandthereforepromoteself
discoveryandlearningbytheonebeingcoached.Thenquestionsarealsoemployedasa
meansbywhichthosethoughtstranslateintointentionalchoicesandbehaviors.
VickieBrockPhDwroteinhergroundbreakingwork,SourcebookofCoachingHistoryand
speaksofthehistoryofcoachingbytracingitbacktowhatshecalls“root”disciplinessuch
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associoeconomictheories,philosophy,psychology,business,sports,adulteducationand
otherdisciplines.EachhastheirinYluenceintheemergenceofcoachinginthetwentieth
century.Yetshecreditssportscoachingasthecatalystthatbroughtcoachingitsown
identity.ThussheobservesthatcoachingisahybridYieldthatitselfnowbranchesoutinto
lifeandbusinessspecialties.
AccordingtoBillDueease,writingforthePeerBulletin172in2009,theterm“coaching”
begansomewhereinthelate1880’sinthesportsYield.Thenin1972W.T.Gallweywrote
TheInnerGameofTenniswhichrepresentedtheYirstmajortransitionfromsports
coachingwithcontrolandteachingtoinsteadfacingthechallengethattheopponentwithin
isoftenmoreformidablethantheopponentinthesportsmatch.SirJohnWhitmore
believedthat“GallweywastheYirsttodemonstrateasimpleandcomprehensivemethodof
coachingthatcouldbereadilyappliedtoalmostanysituation”(Dueease,2009).
Inrecentdecades,coachingappearedinthelate1970’sinthebusinessworld,seeminglyas
aresponsetochangesinleadershipmodelsandbusinessculture.Theninthe1980’s
coachingbegantoappearoutsidethebusinesscontext.Inthe1990’scoachingbeganto
emergeasadistinctdiscipline.Anexampleofthisisthefoundingin1995ofthe
InternationalCoachFederation,themostwidelyrespectedcertifyingbodyforcoaching.
How does coaching work?
Whensomeonecomestoyouforhelp,whatisyourimmediatereaction?Youwanttohelp.
Thispersoncomestoyouandasksaquestionandyoutrytoprovidetheansweroratleast
thinkoutloudwiththemtocomeupwithyourbestguessorbestideaastowhatwould
mosthelpthem.Ifyouarealawyer,accountant,plumber,mechanic,pastororother
specialist,youseektoanswertheirquestionsoutofyourspecialty.Thatisnormalandin
manyinstancesexactlywhatisneeded.
Andwhatoftenhappens?Manytimespeoplerejectotherpeople’sadvice.Why?Simplyput,
itisnottheiridea.Itmaynotbewhattheywanttohear.Itmaynotbewhattheyexpected
tohear.Theymaynotbereadytohearit.Inshort,thesuccessrateofpeoplehearing,
understanding,acceptingandabsorbingandactingupontheadvicethatisgivenis
relativelysmall.Certainlythereareexceptions.Oftentimeswegototheexpertforadvice:
doctors,lawyers,etc.Yeteventherehowmayofusheedtheadviceoftheprofessional?We
don’tlikehearingthatwehavetolose25poundsandsoweresistwhattheysay.
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Coachinghelpspeopleaskthemselvesnewquestions,tothinkinwaysoutsideoftheir
normalpatterns,and“puttwoandtwotogether”sothattheyseewhattheyneedtodo,
decidewhattheyneedtodecideandtotakeaction.
Forexample,whatdocalledworkersdowhentheyreceiveacallintoministry?Anumberof
thingsaredone:prayer,scripturereading,andthecounselofwisefriendsandadvisors.Yet
therearealsootherapproachesthatareoftenincluded.Howmanypastorsconsideringa
calldidn’twritedowntwocolumnsofthepositiveandnegativereasonsforacceptinganew
call?Howmanyofusappreciatedthequestionsthosewisefriendsandcolleaguesaskedus?
Perhapsitwasaquestionsomeoneaskedusthatledtoourdecision.Perhapsitwasthe
waysomeonesummarizedwhatwejustsaidandwehearditcomingbacktousinanew
way.Thensomewherealongtheway,thefogblowsawayandthedecisionbecomesclear.
Theremayevenbean“ah-ha”momentwhereclearthinkingemergedandthedecision
becameself-evident.Thosefriendswhoarewiseknowtheycan’t“tell”theirfriendwhatto
do.TheyarenottheHolySpirit!Yetinthesesituationsmanyfriendsandcolleagueswill
helptheonewiththecallto“thinkthrough”thedecision.Inmanywaysthisisverycloseto
whathappensduringcoaching.Someonecomesalongsidetheotherandservesasa
“thinkingpartner”toassisttheothertogetunstuck.Thoughtinthisway,coachingisnotso
foreignafterall!
How is coaching different from other helping skills?
Consul/ng
Oftentheconsultantiscalledintohelpanorganizationtoanalyzetheirsituationandhelp
themdetermineawayforward.Theyaskquestions,gatherdatabutintheendtheydeliver
areportwithrecommendations.Theytellsomeonewhattodooutoftheirexpertise.
Teaching
Ateacherisoftenviewedastheonewhostandsinfrontoftheclassandlecturesabouta
subject:Math,science,history,etc.Thecaricatureofateacherissomeoneinfrontofa
classroomorlecturehallwhopresentswhattheyknow.Sotheyaretheexpertintheir
particularYieldandtheyhelpthestudentsbytellingthemmoreaboutthesubjectathand.
Tobesuregoodteachersaskrhetoricalquestionsoftheclassyettheprimaryexampleofa
teacheristhatofanexpertsharingtheirexpertisewiththeclassbytellingthemaboutit.
Onceagaintheyhelpbytelling.
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Counseling
Whatdoesacounselordo?Theyareexpertsinmentalhealthandassistingpeopletomove
forwardoutoftheirpathologyorhurt.Thedifferencebetweencounselingandcoachinghas
beendescribedinthisway:thecounselorhelpsbringsomeonefromanegativeplacetoa
normalplace.Thecoachontheotherhandbringssomeonefromanormalplacetoaneven
morefocused,productiveandeffectiveplace.
Coachingpresumesacertainlevelofmentalhealthandability.Whilesomemightview
workingwiththecoachasremedialoranindicationthattheyareinanegativeplace,
typicallythosewhoareinvolvedincoachingarethosewhowanttogetevenbetter.So
coachingisdistinctfromcounselingwhiletheremaybeanumberofcommonelements.
Mentoring
Inbusinessandindustryandeventhechurch,thetermisusedtodescribetheolderwiser
practitionerorpastorwhotakesayoungerprotégéeunderhiswing.Thementorhasthe
wisdomandexperience,theyaretheexpertintheirYieldandtheyhelpbytelling.Theymay
alsoaskquestionsandmaytellstoriesyettheprimarybeneYitofthementoring
relationshipisthewisdomandexperienceoftheolder,wiserpractitionerbeingshared
withtheyoungerprotégé.Theyalsohelpbytelling.
Pastor
Theaveragepersonobservepastorsstandinginfrontofthechurchorclassteachingthe
Bible.Arethereexceptions?Sure.Pastorsoftenengagein“pastoralcareandcounseling”
wheretheygotothehospitalandmeetpeopleandspeakwiththemconYidentiallyabout
theirparticularspiritualstruggles.Theyaskquestions,theylisten,theycare,theyreadthe
Bibleandtheyprayandoftengiveadvice.Yetinthisinstanceandattheircore,thepastoris
primarilytheexpertbyvirtueofhistrainingandhehelpsbytellingpeoplethatexpertise.
Theytoohelpbytelling.
Advisor
Whatdoesanadvisordo?BydeYinitiontheygiveadvice!Thisisanotherhelpingskillthat
speaksinformationinordertohelp.Inmanywaysitisageneraltermthatincludesmanyof
theabovehelpingskills.
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Coach
Thecoachbycomparisonhasasanexpertiseisinhisorhercoaching.Theyseetheother
personorclientashavingexpertiseintheirsituation.Afterall,thecoachwillnever
completelyunderstandandappreciatethenuancesofthecoachclient’ssituation.They
couldtellthecoachclientwhattodobutwilltheyreallyownitandactuponit?Theremay
behesitancyformanyreasons,onebeingthatthecoach(orinthiscase,theadvisor)
doesn’tquitereadthesituationcorrectlyandsotheirdiagnosisandprescriptionareoff.
Butthemaingoalisownershipandpassionatelymovingforward.Intheend,thecoach
didn’ttellthemwhattodo.Thecoachwasathinkingpartnerfortheirexploringand
choosingwhattodowhetherthestepwaslargeorsmall.
Withhelpingskillsotherthancoachingthereisatransferofinformationorlearningfrom
thehelpertothepersonbeinghelped.Wemaycallitadvice,wisdom,experience,teaching,
andsoon.Eachhavetheirplaceandimportance.Yetwithcoachingtheexpertiseforthe
coachisintheircoachingskills,notintransferringinformationorknowledge.Therefore
thedifferencebetweencoachingandmanyotherhelpingskillsisthatthecoachhelpsby
askingquestionsinsteadofhelpingthroughtellingorsharinginformation.
Considerthischartwhichillustrateswherethevarioushelpingskillsprimarilyreside:
I help by asking
The other person (the person
being helped) is the expert
•
Coach
•
Counselor
I help by telling
•
•
•
•
•
I am the expert
Teacher
Mentor
Consultant
Advisor
Pastor
Ingeneralthereisashiftwhenitcomestocoaching:
• Fromtellingoradvisingtoaskingquestions
• FromYixingorsolvingproblemstopromotingdiscovery,awarenessandintentional
choice
• Fromassumingtheyneedyourexpertiseorthatyouaresmarterthantheyareto
acknowledgingthattheyknowalotandcansolvewhatitistheyarefacing.
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• Fromfeelingresponsibletoresolvetheirproblemtoleavingtheresponsibilitywith
thepersonbeinghelped.
When should coaching be used and not used?
Wearenotsayingthatcoachingissuperiororshouldbeusedinplaceofallothers.Thereis
adeYinitetimeandplaceforeachhelpingskill.TheyeachhavevalueforspeciYicneedsand
situations.Ifitisanemergencyortherearestricttimeconstraintsthencoachingisnotthe
answer.Theleaderdoesnotcoachpeopleoutofaburningbuilding.Thiswouldbeatime
sensitiveoremergencysituationandaleadershouldsimplytellpeoplewheretogoand
howtogetthere.Ifthereisaneedfornewinformationortechnicalknowledgethen
coachingisnottheanswer.Sometimesclassroomlearningorreadingnewmaterialand
contentisthebestthingthatisneeded.Ontheotherhand,ifthereisaconcernforquality
ormaximizingthelearningforpeopleandfacilitatingtheirforwardmovement,then
coachingisthebestchoice.
Can or should coaching be used in instances of spiritual or pastoral care?
IfaChristiancoachseeswhotheyareinChristasHisbaptizedchild,seesthemselvesin
servicetotheother,andinloveseekstohelp,thencoachingcanbeapowerfulresourceor
additionaltoolforthecaringspiritualshepherd.Whileproclaiminglawandgospel,
teachingtheBible,catechesis,pastoralcarewillbestandarditemsinthepastor’stoolkit,
therecanalsobeaplaceforcoaching.Itisyetanotherwayofengagingpeopletothink
abouttheirspirituallifeandrelationshiptotheirGodandSavior.Whatwillthatlooklike?It
willmostlikelylooklikeashiftfrom“telling”peoplewhattodotohelpingthemthrough
deeplisteningandquestionstohelppeoplethinkthingsthrough.Itisawayforthemto
considerwheretheyareandwhereGodwouldwantthemtobeandthendeterminewhat
theywilldo,empoweredbyChrist.Itisawaytocourageouslyinvitethemtobeintentional
inwhattheywilldoinbeingfaithfuldisciplesastheyrepentandbelieveandfollowJesus.
Thuscoachingisnotareplacementorasuperiorwaytobeafaithfulshepherdyetitisan
additionalapproachthatmayprovehelpfulinmanycases.
What place can coaching play in leading a church?
Muchoftheday-to-dayworkofchurchlifeinvolvesworkingwithpeopleinorganizing
projects,programsandotherformsofwork.Itinvolvesmeetingsthatareformaland
informal,planningandencouragingpeoplewhomaybeexperiencedleadersorthosewho
arejustgettingstarted.Ineachofthesesettings,coachingisapowerfulresourcetoserve
thosewhoserve.Howcancoachinghelp?TheChristiancoachleaderwillengagewith
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peoplewithaBiblicalandtheologicalworldviewandthelargerperspectiveofwhatJesus
wantsforHischurch.TheChristiancoachingleaderwillassistpeopletoassume
appropriateresponsibilityandgrowintheirknowledgeandskillsandactuallydowhatis
needed.TherewillberespectandanhonoringofthegiftsthatGodprovidesbothtothe
pastorandthepriesthoodofbelieversthroughgoodChristiancoaching.
Thatmaylooklikethepastortakingacoachapproachbyengaginginthedialogueinthe
councilmeetingorboardmeetingwithquestions.Theywillhelpthegrouptothinkabout
theissuewithGodinmind,withthegreatergoodofthecommunityinmind,withthe
church’ssharedvisioninmind.Itmayalsolooklikethecoachingleaderaskingclarifying
questionsnotonlyabouttheissueathandbutalsoafterthesolutionisagreedupon.For
exampletheycanaskwhowilldowhatandwhensothateveryoneisawareofwhathas
beendecidedandexactlywhatcanbeexpectedorexactlywillbedone.Thisisusing
coachingskillsforthebeneYitoftheministrywithouttheleadertellingwhatshouldbe
doneandthussettingthemselvesupasthepersontobeagreedwithorchallenged.Power
playsanddependencyareavoidedandthereisbroadownershipofthesolutionandaction
steps.Allofthesearehealthywaysthechurchcanlivetogetherandmoveforward.
Are there any standards or oversight in the world of coaching?
TheinternationalCoachFederation(ICF)beganin1995andhasestablishedalistof
coachingcompetenciesandethicalstandardsforcoaches.Theyhavealsoestablisheda
processofevaluatingandcredentialingcoachesbaseduponthosecompetencies.
Furthermoretheyworkwithcoachingeducationalentitiesgrantingtheirapprovalshould
theircoacheducationalcontentandprocessconformtothosecompetenciesandstandards.
Overtheyearstheirprocesshasbeencontinuallyupdatedandtherequirementsare
consideredquitedemandingandrigorous.Theirwebsiteisawealthofinformationabout
coachingandgivesaninsightasintothegrowingprofessionandpracticeofcoaching.
http://www.coachfederation.org
ThecompetenciesforcoachingthattheICFidentiYiesare:
1. SettingtheFoundation
a. Meetingethicalguidelinesandprofessionalstandards
b. Establishingthecoachingagreement
2. Co-creatingtherelationship
a. Establishingtrustandintimacywiththeclient
b. Coachingpresence
3. Communicatingeffectively
a. Activelistening
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b. Powerfulquestioning
c. Directcommunication
4. Facilitatinglearningandresults
a. Creatingawareness
b. Designingactions
c. Planningandgoalsetting
d. Managingprogressandaccountability
Some “Commandments” for Chris*an Coaching
Coaching is not a replacement for preaching or teaching God’s Word.
Coachingisawonderfulhelpingskill.Thisdoesnotmeanthatthereisnoroomfor
preachingorteaching.Christiancatecheticaleducation,Biblestudyandpreachingare
mainstaysofthewayoftheChristian.Havingsaidthattheoppositeisalsotrue.Whenone
hasBiblestudyandthepreachingoftheWord,thereisalsoaplacefordialoguewhere
peoplecanworkwithanotherforgrowthanddevelopmentasChristiansandasthosewho
seektofulYillacertaincallingorvocation.Forexample,“ironsharpensiron”(Prov27:17),
certainofYicesinthechurchworkto“prepareGod’speopleforworksofservice”(Eph
4:12),andwearecalledtoencourageoneanother(Ron12:8;1Thes5:11;Heb10:5and
others).Thereforethereisalsovalueintheconversationandconsolationofthebrothers.
Theseotherelementscanbeprovidedthroughdialoguethatlooksandsoundslike
coaching.
Coaching is not for every situa/on and is therefore not a cure all.
Ifthereisanemergencyortimeconcerns,coachingisnotadvisable.Inthesesituations,
whichareoftenunavoidablebeforehand,thevoiceofauthorityneedstospeakforthe
safetyandwellbeingofothers.“Walkquicklyandcalmlytotheexits”toavoidaYireneeds
tobesaidbyonevoiceforalltohearandtakeheed.Yetifthegoalispersonaldevelopment
ormaximizingthelearningthencoachingiswelladvised.Thisallowstheonewhoisto
develop,learnorgrowtowrestlewiththerelevantmaterial,informationorfactsand
integratethemintotheirlivesandbehavior.
Coaching is not manipula/on or leading them where you want them to go.
Agoodlawyerasksquestionsofwhichheorsheknowstheanswer.Thenagoodlawyerwill
guidethewitnesstothetestimonytheywanttohear.Notsowithagoodcoach.Coaches
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bestservetheircoachclientsbytakingadvantageofwherethecoachclientisalready
motivatedorinterested.Thistakesadvantageofthepre-existingbuyinoftheirinterestor
concern.Tothatendthecoachwillinquireofwhatitistheywanttoaccomplishandask
questionstoattainnewinsightsordiscoveriesthatwillinspirethemtonewactions.
Ifthecoachwantstotellthemwhattodoandmerelyusesquestionstotakethemthere,
thenthatisnotcoaching.Itismanipulation.Thecoachbestservesthecoachclientby
advocatingfortheclientandtheirinterestorconcern,notthecoach’sinterestorconcern.
Havingsaidthat,thecoachcancertainlybringupwhatthetwomayhaveincommonand
identifyvaluesandbeliefsthatwillpotentiallyshapetheoutcomeofthecoaching
conversation.Forexample,ifbothcoachandcoachclientareChristiansthenitwouldnot
bemanipulationforthecoachtoaskthecoachclienttonametheboundariesofBiblical
truthsandsounddoctrinethatwillshapewheretheywanttogo.Inthatcaseitis
acknowledgingwhatisalreadytrueforthem.Havingsaidthat,aChristiancoachworking
withsomeonewhoisnotaChristianwillnotwanttobeapartytocoachingsomeone
towardanactionordecisionthatisnotGodpleasing.Inthatinstancethecoachwillbeup
frontandhonestanddeclinethecoachingrelationshipandbearwitnesstotheirfaithwith
thepersonbeingcoached.
Coaching through ques/ons does not equate to being soF on sin or dispensing cheap grace.
Ifonethinksthatquestionssomehowrelievethepersonbeingcoachedfromfacingtheir
sinisamisconceptionaboutcoaching.Justbecausethecoachdoesnot“preach”atthe
personproclaiminglawandgospeldoesnotmeanthatthis“proclamation”isnottaking
place.RefertothecaseofGodseekingoutAdaminthegardenandyouYinddeepconviction
ofsinthroughGod’squestioning.Questionsareoftenverychallengingtoanswer!Asking
someonetospeaktotheircurrentrealityofsinandthentoconfesswhatbroughtthem
thereishumblingandshameful.Tobeacoachaskingthosequestionsandmanyothers
takescourage!Agoodcoachhasthecouragetoaskquestionsthatchallengeassumptions,
putthemonthe“hotseat”torethinkwhattheyaredoingandwheretheyaregoing.
Questionsencourageonetosearchtheirassumptionsorwhattheyaredenying.Itinvites
onetogaugehowwhattheyarethinkinganddoingcoincideswithGod’srevealedwilland
Hisdesiretobegraciousandmerciful.Questionscanindeedpreachlawandgospel.
Coaching is not only dialogue through ques/ons.
Yes,theprevailingactionsbythecoachisaskingquestions.However,itismuchmorethan
that.Thereislistening,observing,andacknowledgingwhattheyaresayinganddoingand
thereforeafYirmingthem.Thereareclarifying,reYlectingandsynthesizingstatementsby
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thecoachthataregivenwhichoftenbringtogetherwhathasbeensaidovermany
appointments.Thereareindeedtimesfordirectmessageswhichspeakthetruthinlove
andthecoachwillattimesbeidentifyingactions.Coachinghasbeendescribedas“coactive”propositionwherethepersonbeingcoachedistheprimarypartnerinthe
collaboration.Thereforecoachingisnotjustaskingquestionsbutinvolvesotherelements
involvedinadialogueandtherelatedskills.
Coaching should be dismissed because it takes too long. People should just accept the truth
as it is told to them and act upon it.
Wewishthatthingscouldbethatsimple.However,weknowfromourownexperienceand
researchthatpeopleoftendonotacceptwhatanothertellsthemanditisinfrequentlyput
itintopractice.Ifthiswerenottrue,thendoctorscouldcountonsimplytellingtheheart
patienttochangetheirdietandlifestyle.Pastorscouldcountonsimplytellingpeopleto
bearwitnesstotheirfaithandthepeoplewouldquicklyconform.Yethumanbeingsand
humanrelationshipsdonotworkthatway.ThisisparalleltothetruthfromRomans7:8,
“sin,seizingtheopportunityaffordedbythecommandment,producedinmeeverykindof
covetousdesire.”Inotherwords,oursinfulnatureresistsadmittingsinandoftenthat
resistanceturnstorebelliousnessindoingwhatisforbidden.Orevenmoreplainly,when
wearetoldwhattodo,wesometimesactlikechildrenanddotheexactopposite.
Yes,coachingtakestime.Yetincarefulcoaching,withtheelementsoflisteningandasking
questionswecanunearththecoreissueswhichmaynothavebeendealtwith.Shortadvice
givingconversationsorsupervisionseemsto“cuttothechase”andtellpeoplewhatthey
needtodo,butunlesswelistentowhatisreallygettinginthewayanddealwithitthenwe
willbelookingatthesameproblemoverandoveragain.Coachingthereforeisgoingslow
atYirstinordertomovemuchfasterinthefuture.Coachingprovidesrealprogress.Itis
hardwork.Ittakestimeandpatience.Yetoncedealtwithprogressmovesrapidly.
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Concluding Thoughts
Coachingisnotsonewafterall.Itisacombinationofthingsthathavebeenusedfor
millennia.Listening,askingquestionsforvariouspurposes,guardingtheagendaofthe
personbeingcoachedfortheirownsake,challengingtheirassumptions,reYlectingback
withthem,andthenaskingthemwhattheywilldoasaresultofthedialogue.Yetitisnot
simplyanotherconYidentialconversationwithafriendbutasystemofworkingwithpeople
wheretheymaintainresponsibilityfortheirthinkingandactionsandwherethecoachis
thepartnerwhosupportstheminthejourney.ItisYlexibleenoughtobeusedeither
informallyorformally,oneononeorwithgroups.Coachingisforthesakeofgreater
growth,developmentandproductivity.ItcanbeusedformundanethingsorsigniYicantlife
decisions.Coachingisablessingtobereceived.
Coaching,likeanythingelsecanbeusedforgoodorforevil,withgoodintentorforbad.It
canconformtoone’spreconceivedworldviewwhetheritbeChristianornot.Yetthe
Christianwhoisalsoacoachhastheblessingofbeing“inChrist”wherethereislawand
gospelyetthegospelpredominates.TheChristiancoach,empoweredbyChrist,canbringa
true“gracespace”tocoachingwherethereisnotonlypersonalgrowthbutspiritualgrowth
asthepersonbeingcoachedintentionallygoesforwardempoweredbyChrist.
Ifyouhaveotherinsightsintocoachingorotherquestionsaboutcoachingthatwecanadd
tothisvolumeof“frequentlyaskedquestions”pleasesharethemwithusat
[email protected].
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Bibliography of some coaching books from a Chris*an perspec*ve:
Collins,G.(2002).ChristianCoaching.ColoradoSprings:Navpress
Creswell,J.(2006).ChristCenteredCoaching.St.Louis;LakeHickoryResources
Hall,C.,Copper,B.,McElveen,K.,(2009).FaithCoaching.Hickory,NC:Coach
ApproachMinistries
Miller,L.,Hall,C.,(2007).CoachingforChristianLeaders.St.Louis:ChalicePress
Stoltzfus,T.(2005).LeadershipCoaching.VirginiaBeach,VA:www.Coach22.com
Stoltzfus,T.(2008).CoachingQuestions.VirginiaBeach,VA:www.Coach22.com
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About ScoG:
ScottGressservesasleadershipcoachandcoachtrainer,consultantandleadership
presenter.
ScottgraduatedfromConcordiaSeminarySt.LouisandreceivedhisMastersof
Divinityin1988.Priortoseminaryheearnedabachelor'sdegreeinmarketingand
workedforADP,AutomaticDataProcessing.InDecemberof2003hecompleteda
MastersinOrganizationalLeadershipfromPalmBeachAtlanticUniversitywherehe
wasalsonamedtheoutstandinggraduateoftheMacArthurSchoolofLeadership.He
hasservedasanadjunctprofessorofOrganizationalLeadershipatPBAU.
Scottbeganhisformalcoachtrainingin2006throughTheCoachesTraining
Institutetotaling122hours.In2009hewascertiYiedasaTransformingChurch’s
Network(TCN)consultant.HeisamemberoftheInternationalCoachFederation
fromwhichheiscertiYiedasanAssociateCertiYiedCoach.Hehascontinuedtogrow
asacoachthroughInternalImpact,with60hoursofadvancedcoachtraining
earningtheirGlobalCertiYicateinLeadershipCoachinginMarchof2013andCoach
ApproachMinistry'sCoachingasBrainBasedLearningin2015.
Scotthasservedasaparishpastorafterhisordinationin1988,circuitcounselorfor
11yearsandFirstVicePresidentoftheFL-GADistrictbrieYlypriortoservingasa
specialcoachconsultanttotheFL-GADistrictandDirectorofCoachingforTCN.
TodayScottiscalledbyLutheranCounselingServicesofOrlandoFLandcontinues
toservetheFL-GAdistrictandthewiderchurch,non-proYitsandothers.Heisan
independentcontractorinleadershiptraining,consulting,coachingandcoach
training.
ScottandhiswifeMariahavetwosons,NathanandStephenandresideinSouth
Florida.
YoumayfollowScottonhisblogatscottgress.com,andcontacthimtostrategize
howhecansupportyourgoalsthroughasamplecoachingsession.561-542-4472or
[email protected].
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