My decision to write in response to Gary Soto's work, "Like Mexicans" was influenced for the most p
art because of the similarities between myself and Gary Soto, and our families included. Gary Soto i
s a Mexican American male, who grew up in the San Joaquin Valley in the industrial part of a town ca
lled Fresno. His grandparents came to this Great Valley in search of creating a better life for them
selves and their families. I am also a Mexican American male who was born and raised in the San Joaq
uin Valley in a small town called Porterville. My grandparents migrated with their children, my moth
er, father, and their brothers and sisters in hopes of creating a better life for themselves as well
. At the time economic betterment meant working as a hired slave for minimal income and keeping your
mouth shut. After all, you were nothing more than a wetback who came to America to reap her benefit
s.(This ludicrous ideology is still present today) Gary Soto's grandparents and my grandparents, alt
hough they may be a generation behind one another, I am sure were exposed to many of the same hardsh
ips and or social barriers. It was not uncommon back then as it is not uncommon today for Mexican f
amilies with minimal work skills to be forced into the fields to work with their children alongside
in hopes of escaping poverty. For the most part such families remained poverty stricken due to unfai
r and illegal wages and work conditions. However irrelevant this all may sound, facing similar hards
hips or obstacles will often create a sense of unity among those who are affected by such conditions
. In short, I feel that not only do Gary Soto and I share a common ethnic origin, but all that comes
with our origin, be it pride, shame, or ideology. "Like Mexicans" is a short story in which Gary So
to is constantly being reminded that he should marry his own kind. His own kind being one of Mexican
descent, and of poverty and refraining from others, especially "Okies" as his grandmother used to a
lways say. Soto ends up marrying a Japanese woman, not a Mexican. But he still has to deal with his
internal struggle and acceptance of this choice. One cannot be looked down upon for questioning one
self and the decisions one makes, especially when it comes to marrying after being raised in a house
hold that reinforced the belief , "Marry Your Own". My mother and my father never told me that I sho
uld marry one of my own. My mother always told me to do what ever it would take to make myself happy
. Now that I think about it, she did sometimes tell me that I could meet a nice girl at church. "Mij
ito," she always began, "Don't you want to marry a nice girl? There are a lot of nice girls that go
to church. How can you want to marry a girl who will sleep around?" I was reluctant to tell her tha
t the nice girl's parents were saying the same thing to them about me. Gary Soto's mother never said
too much to him in regards to marrying any one type of woman in particular. "If you find a good Mex
ican girl, marry her of course," (page 696) she once replied to him. She did however respond in a w
orrisome manner and with hesitation when she realized that her son was going to marry a Japanese wom
an. I was in love and their was no looking back. She was the one. I told my mother who was slapping
hamburger into patties. "Well, sure if you want to marry her," she said. But the more I talked, the
more concerned she became.(page 697)
I recall vividly when my mother met Tanya, my wife, for the fi
rst time. She said that she liked Tanya, but that she didn't think she was really my type. What then
was my type? After marrying Tanya, I began to wonder if she was "Mexicana" enough for me. After all
, she was very liberal, strong and open minded. I think this is why my mother used to tell me she di
dn't think Tanya was my type. My mother reminds me of Gary's grandmother, very submissive, docile, y
our stereotypical Mexicana. Tanya didn't like to cook, she was in no way submissive, and was at time
s what my mother would term as unlady like. Gary Soto's grandmother believed that just about everyon
e was an "Okie" if they were not Mexicans. Gary's grandmother, although I am sure she wanted the bes
t for him was very stereotypical. She once again reminds me of my mother in this way. Their weakness
in being stereotypical is almost forgivable and cute. I think it is more out of ignorance of others
and there is no real harm meant. One thing we must keep in mind as well, is the time in which this
story took place and the exposure the grandmother might have had to others outside of her immediate
family. My mother lived a sheltered life and really never had the opportunity to be exposed to the r
eal world. My mother had a habit of trying to make me believe that children who did not obey their p
arents were in general bad children. Parents were the divine authority and should never be questione
d, since they are the parents they always know what's best. This was at least what my mother was tau
ght by her mother and can you blame her for inheriting such an ideology. For her, everyone who wasn'
t Mexican, black, or Asian were Okies. The French were Okies, the Italians in suits were Okies. When
I asked about the Jews, whom I had read about she asked for a picture. I rode home on my bicycle an
d returned with a calendar depicting the important races of the world. "Pues si, son Okies tambien!"
(page 696)
I also found Gary's Soto's grandmother amusing because she would ridiculously lum
p people together. This however is easier than trying to recognize each and every different ethnic g
roup that exist on the face of the earth, but it is our differences that often make us so unique. On
e particular part in this short story that really disturbed me, was the fact that Gary and his frien
d Scott at a young age could make the distinction among their different ethnic groups. By this I mea
n that there was an acknowledgment that both Gary and his friend Scott came from different ethnicity
groups and should therefore keep within their groups when considering marrying. Couples often marry
those of the same ethnic identity for a sense of familiarity. One may also want to spend their life
with an individual who shares the same cultural ideology. This shared ideology could be political,
religious, economic etc. A shared or common ideology reduces conflict and creates a sense of unity.
Marriage after all is supposedly the act of two people uniting for the rest of their lives. I would
not be a bit surprised if Scott at the same time was being reinforced by family members or peers th
at he too should stay among his own people. "No offense, Scott," I said with an orange slice in my m
outh, "but I would never marry an Okie" We walked in step almost touching, with a sled of shadows be
hind us. "No offense, Gary," Scott said , "but I would never marry a Mexican."
(page 696)
I of
ten have similar conversations with my good friend and housemate Adrian, in which I often find mysel
f believing that I should marry a good Mexicana. I haven't been reinforced by family to this ideolog
y. I think it is due more towards the frustration I have with our social structure. I have the sense
that I could relate better to someone of common descent. Someone who has endured the same pain and
or confusion of ones own distinctiveness, social class, ethnicity, etc.. I can honestly see myself l
iving the rest of my life with a person who is "Other" than white. However wrong or contradictory it
may sound, my feelings are such. I felt that Gary and Scott shouldn't have felt the way they did ab
out marrying their own, yet I shared the same feelings. I believe in the pride of ones own heritage
and descent but I also believe in a diversified world. I often tell people that as long as you love
an individual their ethnicity should have no significance. I now have to ask myself whether or not I
really believe that. It's very confusing for me, as I am sure Gary was confused. Gary is somewhat r
eluctant at first to go to his future mother in law's house with his fiancee Carolyn, but later is r
elieved upon his discovery. When we pulled into the drive, I panicked and begged Carolyn to make a U
turn and go back so we could talk about it over soda. She pinched my cheek calling me a "Silly Boy.
" I felt better though when I got out of the car and saw the house: the chipped paint, a cracked win
dow, boards for a walk to the back door. There were rusting cars near the barn. A tractor with a net
of spiderwebs under a mulberry. A field, a bale of barbed wire like children's scribbling leaning a
gainst an empty chicken coop.(page 697)
Gary Soto's discovery of his fiancee and her family was tha
t they were similar to Mexicans. "These people were just like Mexicans, I thought. Poor people." (p
age 698) Of course not all Mexicans are poor, but a large percentage of the Mexican population do ha
ve to overcome many more obstacles and hardships, such as racism and discrimination in order to sust
ain the equivalent social status of a middle class Caucasian group. "On the highway, I felt happy, p
leased by it all. I patted Carolyn's thigh. Her people were like Mexicans, only different."(page 698
)
Asian immigrants are subjected to many of the same social and economic barriers as are Mexicanos
who migrate from Mexico. They are often wrongfully perceived as a group of people who are coming to
take advantage of an economically rich system.(Our economic system may seem plentiful in comparison
to their economic system back home) They are therefore looked upon as "The Other" and are treated a
s such. Gary Soto at the end of this short story I believe overcame his self questioning of whether
or not Carolyn was right for him. It is a shame that one is socially conditioned so much that he or
she would have to justify their validity and wanting of another human being. I suspect that this is
simply just another characteristic out of a million that has evolved out of a complex social order.
It saddens me sometimes to think that I often believe that there are people for me and people that a
re not for me. In actuality, there are no rules to relationships that determine who one ought to mar
ry. These are all what I will term social constraints.decision write response gary soto work like me
xicans influenced most part because similarities between myself gary soto families included gary sot
o mexican american male grew joaquin valley industrial part town called fresno grandparents came thi
s great valley search creating better life themselves their families also mexican american male born
raised joaquin valley small town called porterville grandparents migrated with their children mothe
r father their brothers sisters hopes creating better life themselves well time economic betterment
meant working hired slave minimal income keeping your mouth shut after were nothing more than wetbac
k came america reap benefits this ludicrous ideology still present today grandparents although they
generation behind another sure were exposed many same hardships social barriers uncommon back then u
ncommon today mexican families with minimal work skills forced into fields work with children alongs
ide hopes escaping poverty most part such remained poverty stricken unfair illegal wages conditions
however irrelevant this sound facing similar hardships obstacles will often create sense unity among
those affected such conditions short feel that only share common ethnic origin that comes origin pr
ide shame ideology like mexicans short story which constantly being reminded that should marry kind
kind being descent poverty refraining from others especially okies grandmother used always ends marr
ying japanese woman still deal internal struggle acceptance choice cannot looked down upon questioni
ng oneself decisions makes especially when comes marrying after being raised household reinforced be
lief marry your mother father never told should marry mother always told what ever would take make m
yself happy think about sometimes tell could meet nice girl church mijito always began want nice gir
l there nice girls church want girl will sleep around reluctant tell parents were saying same thing
them about never said much regards marrying type woman particular find good course page once replied
however respond worrisome manner hesitation when realized going japanese woman love looking back to
ld slapping hamburger into patties well sure want said more talked more concerned became page recall
vividly when tanya wife first time said liked tanya didn think really type what then type after tan
ya began wonder mexicana enough very liberal strong open minded think used tell didn reminds grandmo
ther very submissive docile your stereotypical mexicana didn like cook submissive times what would t
erm unlady grandmother believed just about everyone okie they mexicans although sure wanted best ver
y stereotypical once again reminds weakness stereotypical almost forgivable cute ignorance others th
ere real harm meant thing must keep mind well time which story took place exposure might have others
outside immediate family lived sheltered life really never opportunity exposed real world habit try
ing make believe children obey parents general parents divine authority should questioned since they
know best least taught blame inheriting such ideology everyone wasn black asian okies french okies
italians suits asked jews whom read asked picture rode home bicycle returned calendar depicting impo
rtant races world pues tambien page also found amusing because would ridiculously lump people togeth
er however easier than trying recognize each every different ethnic group exist face earth differenc
es often make unique particular short story really disturbed fact friend scott young could distincti
on among different ethnic groups mean there acknowledgment both friend scott came from different eth
nicity groups therefore keep within groups considering couples often those same identity sense famil
iarity also spend individual shares cultural shared could political religious economic shared common
reduces conflict creates sense unity marriage supposedly people uniting rest lives surprised scott
reinforced family members peers stay among people offense orange slice mouth okie walked step almost
touching sled shadows behind offense have similar conversations good friend housemate adrian which
find myself believing good mexicana haven been reinforced family towards frustration have social str
ucture relate better someone common descent someone endured pain confusion ones distinctiveness soci
al class ethnicity honestly living rest person other than white wrong contradictory sound feelings f
elt shouldn felt shared feelings believe pride ones heritage descent believe diversified world long
love individual ethnicity significance whether confusing confused somewhat reluctant first future ho
use fiancee carolyn later relieved upon discovery pulled into drive panicked begged carolyn turn bac
k talk over soda pinched cheek calling silly felt though house chipped paint cracked window boards w
alk door rusting cars near barn tractor spiderwebs under mulberry field bale barbed wire scribbling
leaning against empty chicken coop discovery fiancee similar these just thought poor course poor lar
ge percentage population overcome many obstacles hardships racism discrimination order sustain equiv
alent status middle class caucasian group highway happy pleased patted carolyn thigh only asian immi
grants subjected many economic barriers mexicanos migrate from mexico wrongfully perceived group com
ing take advantage economically rich system system seem plentiful comparison system home therefore l
ooked upon other treated overcame self questioning whether right shame socially conditioned much jus
tify validity wanting another human suspect simply just another characteristic million evolved compl
ex order saddens sometimes actuality rules relationships determine ought these will term constraints
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