Lee Woods has written a book for students who are tired of the same old
grammar rules. "Students can learn how to write now, when they are young and
searching. We make learning fun for adults, why not students?" Using humor,
goofy characters, suspense, dialogue, and language play, Woods gives students
31 episodes and exercises in planning and mechanics that can satisfy core
standards. His approach has earned the praise of teachers and students
nationwide.
Finding King Onomatopoeia and
Other Stories
Order the complete book from
Booklocker.com
http://www.booklocker.com/p/books/6055.html?s=pdf
or from your favorite neighborhood
or online bookstore.
Your Free excerpt appears below. Enjoy!
Welcome to Midland City, and to Midland School. Inside
these pages, you'll meet James and Jessica Davis, brother and
sister students trying their best to learn how to write. As they
look for answers in the jungle and in a mountain cave, they
meet a long list of characters, some of them normal and some
utterly abnormal—you might say kooky. You'll meet Bwana
Bob, Dr. Sidney Slicer, Detective Greta Gitem, plus a really
dumb bank robber and a mean old judge.
Are you ready?
See you inside!
It’s Latin for Kidnapping
The orange jumpsuit with a big “Juvenile" printed on the
back, the handcuffs digging into her wrists, the shackles on
her ankles, the smell of dried sweat—they all seemed
somehow unreal, clouded in a fearful haze inside Jessica’s
head. Nothing made any sense to her: not the walls filled
with angry graffiti, and certainly not the huge metal door that
held them prisoner inside a tiny room with no windows. Her
brother James sat next to her, yawning and pulling on the
chain that connected his handcuffs to another chain around
his waist.
"We’re in jail!" Jessica shouted, her eyes full of fear.
"Nope," James said, "we’re in a holding cell next to a
courtroom. Hear the judge in there rambling on about right
and wrong?"
"How did we get here?" Jessica said. "What happened?"
“Don’t you remember?" James said. “That cop came into
the classroom then the teacher handed him some papers and
next thing I know we’re in handcuffs!"
Jessica looked up as a deputy sheriff approached the
holding cell and unlocked the door. James listened to it creak
as it swung open. Sounds like a door to a smelly old
dungeon, he thought.
"Let’s go," the deputy said. "Your turn."
"But officer," Jessica said, "we don’t belong here. There’s
been a mistake for sure."
"No mistake," the deputy said. "Let’s go."
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Lee B. Woods
James stood up then nearly fell as he tried to walk,
forgetting that his ankle chain forced him to take baby
shuffle steps.
"Isn’t there something we can do?" James asked. "There
must be some options."
"Oh sure," the deputy said. "You’ve got several options:
the firing squad, the hangman’s rope, the electric chair, or if
you’re lucky life in prison."
Shocked by the deputy’s prediction of pain and agony,
Jessica and James shuffled out of the holding cell and into
the courtroom. Standing before Judge Gil Tee, Jessica looked
up and up until she finally saw his face hovering far above
them like a vulture ready to pounce on its prey. The judge’s
face was hidden, darkened by a shimmering shadow that
seemed to have no beginning.
Standing near the judge, a tall man dressed in black
leather and a mask stood at attention, a long black whip in
his hand.
"Are you ready, Pain Master?" the judge asked. The man
nodded slowly and cracked his whip. Jessica began to feel
sick as she and James huddled next to each other.
"This is unreal," Jessica said, shaking her head.
"No," James said, "this is surreal."
A crowd of onlookers seated behind them began to
mumble curses and damnations. The judge shook his finger
at the crowd.
"Quiet!" he shouted, shifting his glare to James and
Jessica.
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Finding King Onomatopoeia and Other Stories
"Now, you two, James and Jessica Davis. Do you know
why you’re here? Do you know what you’ve been charged
with?"
"No, your honor," Jessica said. "This is crazy. We haven’t
done a thing."
The judge held up a set of papers in each hand.
"These are your essays, right?" he said. Jessica leaned
forward, trying to hear the judge. To her, his voice seemed to
come from a long tunnel, like an echo.
"You’ve been charged with grand theft," the judge said.
"You stole the property of others and tried to pass it off as
your own. This isn’t your writing. Don’t you realize your
teacher can see through that?"
"Words are property?" James asked.
The judge glared at James. "Words or images arranged in
a certain way represent the writer’s property," he said. "It’s
called intellectual property, and it belongs to them! That’s
the law. It’s obvious you stole paragraphs from some source
without giving credit to the author or publication. That’s
plagiarism. Any by the way, did you know that plagiarism is
Latin for kidnapping?"
"I didn’t think it was wrong," Jessica said. "I thought
everybody did it."
"Well it is wrong," the judge said, "very wrong, and you
could get a failing grade or even get suspended. Did you
know that? It’s stealing, thievery, theft, taking something
that’s not yours! Let me repeat that, just in case you didn’t
7
Lee B. Woods
hear me. You could fail the whole course, or you might even
get suspended! You need to wake up!"
"Boil them in oil!" a voice shouted from the back of the
room.
"Off with their heads!" a victimized author yelled.
"You people back there keep quiet!" the judge shouted.
"I’m going to give these two thieves the maximum sentence."
The judge whacked his gavel, silencing the room. Then,
turning slowly to his left, he moved his hand toward a red
button, a red button that would open a trap door that James
and Jessica unknowingly stood upon, a trap door that would
send them falling into a pool of hungry alligators. Counting
down, the judge put his finger on the button and shouted,
"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!—"
Standing beside the couch Jessica was sleeping on, James
leaned down and poked her shoulder.
"Hey, wake up," he said. "You’ve been mumbling and
flopping around on this couch for an hour."
Jessica rubbed her eyes and sat up.
"Oh my God," she said. "I just had the most horrible
dream. C’mon, we’ve got to make something right."
Jessica reached for her laptop and clicked on the file name
of an essay she had finished the night before.
"What are you doing?" James said.
"That dream taught me something," Jessica said, "and
now we’ve got to…how shall I put it…return some property
to the rightful owner."
As she began to credit the sources she used in her essay,
Jessica began to feel a familiar sensation, the feeling of relief
8
Finding King Onomatopoeia and Other Stories
and pride that always came over her when she knew she was
doing the right thing.
#
What is the theme or central idea in this story?
Did you detect any foreshadowing? If so, point out text or
dialogue that illustrates the foreshadowing.
Pssst….I'll let you in on a secret. When we write
something, anything, we write with a particular kind of
style—whether we want to or not, and teachers recognize
these styles like a crime technician spots a fingerprint. The
moral is simple: we can't get away with plagiarism.
9
Daffy Duck Sunglasses and Socks That Glow in
the Dark
Jessica Davis pushed herself back and forth in the swing
chair that hung from the bamboo roof covering their balcony.
Her eyes closed, she inhaled the delicate fragrance of yellow
jasmine.
"Don't ya just love this?" she said to her brother James,
who handed her a pink fruit drink with a name he couldn't
pronounce.
"Yah," he said. "Cool. Where are we again?"
Jessica let the swing carry her back and forth, its motion
aided by the warm breeze that swept in from the Caribbean
sea.
"This is the island of St. Lucia. It's part of the British
West Indies."
"Where's mom and dad?" James asked.
"Doing some last minute shopping before we leave."
"Are you going to write the thing for Mr. Johnson," James
said, "for extra credit?"
Ignoring the question, Jessica smiled and closed her eyes
again, picturing in her mind the stern deck of a fifty foot
yacht, all white and trimmed in blue, anchored in the harbor,
where she saw her image stretched out on a lounge chair,
nibbling iced shrimp and warm garlic bread while humming
along to a steel band's version of Yellow Bird.
"What?" she said. "Sorry, wasn't listening."
"Remember, Mr. Johnson said we could get extra credit if
we wrote something about what we did on vacation."
143
Lee B. Woods
"Oh that," Jessica said. "And it was about appealing to the
senses or something, right?"
"Right, we're supposed to appeal to sound, smell, and the
other ones."
"Okay, but let's do it tomorrow. I want to boogie-board
some more."
Late morning the next day, James knocked on Jessica's
door.
"What! Who is it?"
"It's me. I'm having trouble getting these details right. Can
you do me an edit and gimme some ideas?"
Jessica set her own paper aside and opened the door.
"Give me what you got," she said. "Now go away and I'll
call you."
James grabbed his video game and sat in the swing chair.
In twenty minutes, he jumped up when he heard Jessica yell.
"Here," she said. "These are just suggestions. I don't know
what you're into, so write your own, okay?"
"Wow, thanks sis, this is great!"
"Remember," Jessica said, pointing her finger at James.
"You have to write your own, agreed?"
"Sure," James said. "Absolutely."
James went to his room, grabbed a notebook from his
backpack, and went back to the swing chair and read
Jessica's suggestions:
Instead of The tourist looked funny in his clothes,
how about something like: The tourist wore Daffy Duck
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Finding King Onomatopoeia and Other Stories
sunglasses, glow-in-the-dark yellow socks, and a shirt
so short his sunburned belly kept peeking out.
Instead of I heard the island ferry blow its horn as it
approached the dock, maybe something like: I heard the
shrill scream of the ferry's horn as it approached the
dock.
You say The fruit without a name tasted weird.
Instead, maybe something like: The fruit without a name
tasted like an odd blend of bacon and strawberry.
When you say The coral was sharp, maybe say
something like: The coral felt like the edge of a razor
blade.
And the last one. Instead of The aroma coming from
the restaurant reminded me of the pizza place in the
mall, maybe say something like: The aroma coming
from the restaurant, a blend of warm garlic bread,
melting cheese, tomato sauce and spicy pepperoni,
reminded me of Pappa's Pizzeria in the mall.
The following afternoon, the Davis family, wearing
sunburns and hats made of woven palm fronds, boarded an
American Eagle flight from St. Lucia back to the U.S. and,
finally, to Midland City. The summer was over, and once
again school buses rumbled along city streets, belching black
exhaust as they weaved in and out of neighborhoods. At
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Lee B. Woods
Midland School, students exchanged whispered tales of
summer as they ran down polished hallways on their way to
class.
Alex Johnson settled his language arts class down and
spent the next thirty minutes talking about some of the new
grading methods the school had developed during the
summer.
"And speaking of that sort of thing, I'm glad to see that
some of you decided to do the extra credit assignment on
using descriptive or figurative language. Let's look at some
samples."
When the class ended, Mr. Johnson called to Jessica.
"Could I see you for just a second, Jessica?"
Jessica stood in front of Mr. Johnson's desk and watched
him study a piece of paper.
"I see you and your brother did the assignment for extra
credit."
"Sure did," she said, a look of pride on her face.
"Well, I would work with your brother a little more if I
were you."
"Sure, I'll be glad to help him any way I—"
"No," Mr. Johnson said. "Not you help him. Him help
you."
Jessica's jaw dropped.
"Him help ME?"
"Yes you. Just look how he appeals to the senses in his
descriptions. Here, for example, when he describes what a
tourist is wearing, he writes 'The tourist wore Daffy Duck
sunglasses, glow-in-the-dark yellow socks, and a shirt so
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Finding King Onomatopoeia and Other Stories
short his sunburned belly kept peeking out.' And here,
when he is writing about the sense of smell, he writes 'The
aroma coming from the restaurant, a blend of warm garlic
bread, melting cheese, tomato sauce and spicy pepperoni,
reminded me of Pappa's Pizzeria in the mall. See how—"
"Never mind," Jessica said. "Thank you. I will definitely
talk to my brother."
On her way out the door, Jessica tried to ignore the deep,
unrelenting anger building behind her eyes. Instead, she felt
an image forming in her mind's eye: She was standing over
James as she tightened the ropes holding him to railroad
tracks. Then, after dismissing the image, she thought about
other, more practical possibilities—maybe I'll put a snake in
his bed, she thought. Or maybe gut his basketball! Maybe
bash his head in...arrgh!
#
Write a sentence, about anything, that contains no
imagery, then write the same sentence again, this time with
imagery.
147
Lee Woods has written a book for students who are tired of the same old
grammar rules. "Students can learn how to write now, when they are young and
searching. We make learning fun for adults, why not students?" Using humor,
goofy characters, suspense, dialogue, and language play, Woods gives students
31 episodes and exercises in planning and mechanics that can satisfy core
standards. His approach has earned the praise of teachers and students
nationwide.
Finding King Onomatopoeia and
Other Stories
Order the complete book from
Booklocker.com
http://www.booklocker.com/p/books/6055.html?s=pdf
or from your favorite neighborhood
or online bookstore.