“Help, Thanks, Wow”
Rev. John Pastor
March 10, 2013
UUSG
There’s an old joke that we Unitarian Universalists begin all our prayers with the phrase,
“To Whom It May Concern.” I realize that is meant to poke fun at our open theology, but, in
truth, it feels like a very honest opening for a prayer; more honest and more appealing than many
of the dead liturgical recitations, spoken without inflection, feeling, or sincerity, in our houses of
worship on any Sunday in any town in America. It seems to me that “Whomever It Does
Concern” will appreciate our hesitation, and might even appreciate our humility!
We all pray, of course; personally in private and in community, in public. I find that in my
personal prayers I have a felt sense of humility and wonder, in my alone time with God.
In my other ministry I pray in community. I pray with patients, family, and staff members.
We pray together communally here in this sanctuary, out in the “open” so to speak.
Prayer is naming our loves, healing our hurts, confiding our fears. Prayer is asking for assistance
when things look hopeless. It is expressing profound gratitude for life gone right, or for
abundance, or for blessings received that were unexpected or well deserved. Prayer can be about
just being amazed in the moment; glad to be alive. There are all sorts of these kinds of prayers in
the Judeo-Christian traditions.There are the Buddhist prayers; the loving kindness prayers.
Muslims pray five times a day, facing toward Mecca. Hindu’s have their mantras. There seems to
be a universal connection to prayers and their powers to transform.It is said “Prayer is talking to
something or anything with which we seek union, even if we are bitter or insane or broken. (In
fact, these are probably the best possible conditions under which to pray).” (A.L)
Spiritual director, Henri Nouwen, confesses, “Praying is no easy matter. It demands a
relationship in which you allow someone other than yourself to enter into the very center of your
person, to see there what you would rather leave in darkness, and to touch there what you would
rather leave untouched.”
Prayer seems to put some Unitarian Universalists in something like an awkward situation. Many
of us, not all of us, don’t find traditional forms of prayer of particular use. An article in
Newsweek magazine, reported that “Prayer presupposes a God who can be addressed.” And that
can be a problem for those Unitarian Universalists who don’t assume a god at all, or who don’t
assume that there is a god who has ears.But, there are many ways to pray.
UU minister, Mark Belletini writes, “Prayer can be words, silence, song, or as Paul of Tarsus
says “a sigh.” Prayer can be one prophet breaking the bread of affliction with tears in his eyes
and another breaking a clay pot with eyes ablaze. Whatever cuts through our defensiveness,
whether it’s disguised as a sense of worthlessness or a sense of pride (hubris), is a great prayer.
Crafted or spontaneous, elegant or halted with sobs, sung to God, danced to Love Most Deep or
simply uttered into the thin air, prayer…is the life-breath of worship.”
And in Anne Lamott’s writing she expresses her own theology when she tells us that we begin
practicing prayer “by admitting the three most terrible truths of our existence: that we are so
ruined, and so loved, and in charge of so little.” (AL pg 27.)
This is from her book, “Help, Thanks, Wow; The Three Essential Prayers.” Which is the
inspiration for my homily this morning.
Why pray?
We pray for union, connection, for a relationship with someone or something as other. We pray
as our real selves reaching out to be heard, hoping to find some light, instead of darkness. Light
reveals us to ourselves. Light draws us to itself and, once in the light, we see past shadows to
something way beyond us and deep inside us, all at once.
Anne Lamott writes that the three essential prayers are “Help, Thanks, and Wow.”And, she asks
us to suspend our conviction and pretend “there is someone outside of you who hears you if you
pray.”
I think that many of us are know the “Help” prayers. Anne Lamott tells us,“Most good honest
(Help) prayers remind me that I am not in charge, that I cannot fix anything, and that I open
myself to being helped by something, some force, some friends, some something. These prayers
say: ‘Dear Some Something, I don’t know what I’m doing, I can’t see where I’m going. I’m
getting more lost, more afraid, more clenched. HELP.”
This is one of the “Help” prayers that Anne has written:
Hi God.
I am just a mess.
It is all hopeless. What else is new?
I would be sick of me, it I were you, but Miraculously You are not.
I know I have no control over other people’s ives, and I hate this.
Yet I believe that if I accept this and surrender,
You will meet me wherever I am.
Can this be true? If so, how is this afternoon- say, two-ish?
Thank You in advance for Your company and blessings.
You have never once let me down. AMEN
The prayer for help very often comes from a feeling of being alone, of wanting someone or
something to come to our aide. It seems to me that we need to give up the notion that we can do
it all ourselves- fix it ourselves, The prayer for help is the alarm call for assistance: Help, I can’t
do this alone! It’s why we come here, to be among our church family, and ask for help when
things seem hopeless. We release ourselves from trying to be on our own. Give it up to the
caring commitment of this place.
Together we give it up in prayer to a presence that we sometimes call by the shorthand name,
God. We are all familiar with the prayers recited at Thanksgiving Time. Prayers that remind us
of all the abundance that is present all around us. These prayers often contain well-constructed
verses about gathering, harvesting, and sharing. Reminders of our Pilgrim roots offered at the
first Thanksgiving Feast. But there are other prayers of thanks for other times as well. “Thanks”
is the short form of the original prayer we sometimes say in gratitude for any unexpected grace
or healing or perhaps a narrow escape from disaster: Thankyouthankyouthankyou”
Anne Lamott writes, “Often we do not get our own way, which I hate, hate, hate. But in my
saner moments I remember that if we did, usually we would shortchange ourselves. Sometime
circumstances conspire to remind us or even let us glimpse how thin the membrane is between
here and there, between birth and grave,between the human and the divine. In wonder at the
occasional direct experience of this we say Thank you.”
Gratitude begins in our hearts and if nourished and sustained “Thanks” will become a formed
behavior, an outlook of gratitude. We can come to breathe in gratitude and breathe it out too,
blessing those around us.
"Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday
night. That was really cool." Wow.
Anne Lamott offers that “Wow, is often offered with a gasp, a sharp intake of breath, when we
can’t think of another way to capture the sight of shocking beauty or a sudden unbidden insight
or an unexpected flash of grace. Wow means we are not dulled to wonder.” She continues,
“When we are stunned to the place beyond words, we’re finally starting to get somewhere.
It is so much more comfortable to think that we know what it all means, what to expect and how
it all hangs together. When we are stunned to the place beyond words, when an aspect of life
takes us away from being able to chip away at something until it’s down to a manageable size
and then to file it nicely away, when all we can say in response is WOW, that’s a prayer.”
What can we say beyond Wow. Wonder takes our breath away, and makes room for new breath.
That's why they call it breathtaking.
On one of rotations as a chaplain resident at a Boston Hospital, I was assigned to Neurology,
which had it’s own Intensive Care Unit – ICU. One morning, on my rounds, I walked into the
ICU to visit a new patient (diagnosed with Guillain–Barré Syndrome). I found an older man in
bed with his eyes closed, seated next to him was a younger man. Both had beards. After
greeting them I found out that they were father and son. The father was in a coma. The son
spoke with a Russian accent. He saw my name badge indicating that I was from “Spiritual
Care.” Then he said, “We don’t believe in God.” I responded, “Yes,” and then asked if I could
sit down and visit. “Okay,” he said, “But we don’t believe in God.” “Yes, I understand.”
During our conversation he shared that they were Russian Jews who had become Atheists. They
did not believe in God anymore. After a time, I sat quietly holding his father’s hand. The son
was on the other side of the bed holding the other hand. “You’re not praying are you? Because
we don’t believe in prayer.” I just smiled. He did invite me to return. I came every day for about
twenty minutes. Most of the time we just sat on opposite sides of the bed, holding his father’s
hands. After a week his father regained consciousness and was moved to a regular bed. I
continued my twenty minute visits, every day, for the next fourteen days. The son stopped
asking if I was praying. On the morning of the fifteenth day, I learned that his father was going
to be released to physical therapy at home. When I arrived on the floor that morning, I saw the
son walking down the hallway toward me. He was carrying a book. He handed me the
book, written by Tolstoy, as a present and said, “Thank you. Whatever you prayed, it worked.”
I responded with, “We were the prayer.” He looked puzzled. I repeated, “We were the prayer.”
Then I told him something I firmly believe, “Whenever we are a compassionate presence to
suffering, we are the prayer.” He shook my hand, smiled, and walked back down the hallway.
Two weeks later I was in the UUA Bookstore and found a book called, “For Praying Out Loud.”
I opened it and to my amazement there was a piece called, “Let Us Create a Prayer Together” by
L Annie Forester.
I offer to you now.
Let us create a prayer together:
At the center of this gathered community dwells the holy.
We are the prayer, each and all.
We have come to this place – whole and broken, commencing and concluding, laughing and
weeping,…..seeking. Soul by soul the prayer begans,
“Spirit of life and love”
Two by two we greet one another – smiling, nodding, speaking, sharing, embracing.
And in our relationship the prayer continues:
“Spirit of life and love, where we meet is a sacred space…..”
Moment by moment the circle builds, pulsing with our heartbeats. We fill the circle with our
breath; we inspire. The circle fills us with wealth; we are inspirited. The prayer rises on our
very breathing together:
“Spirit of life and love, where we meet is a sacred space and we are inspired by one another’s
presence….”
This circle will not, cannot go on forever, yet this circle will never die. What each of us finds
here is what we are not. It makes us whole. It gives us strength to go out into the world beyond
this community, beyond this sacred space, to begin yet another prayer.
Let us pray:
“Spirit of life and love, where we meet is a sacred space and we are inspired by one another’s
presence. At the center of the gathered community dwells the holy. We are the prayer each
and all. We are the prayer, each and all.”
“Help, “Thanks, “Wow”……. Presence
Let us pray….
BLESSED BE.
AMEN