The Methodist Church in Penketh and Hood Manor 1 Sankey Valley Circuit Penketh and Hood Manor Methodist Church Magazine vol VI no 24 Welcome to the early summer issue of Clips. Let’s hope by late summer when the next magazine comes out we shall have enjoyed some warmer weather compared to the ‘spring’ and perhaps even an occasional glimpse of the sun. You never know, we might even be able to relax like those people on the cover. You’ll find here and there in this issue some poems inspired by the idea of summer. Take time to enjoy it, however it turns out. The good news concerning Penketh Methodist Church and The Olive Tree Community Centre is that the remaining loans for the Building Fund will have been paid back by the autumn. Our very grateful thanks go to all those who over the last ten years or so have supported the Building Fund so generously. What we have achieved in setting up the new building and establishing it as a focal point in the local community has been heralded far and wide as inspirational and a true example of what faith can do. The decision must now be made to consider targets for future fundraising by means of a Development Fund, aimed at improving the premises in line with Circuit guidelines. More details will be posted in due course. BAPTISMS 19.05.13 02.06.13 Lois Jane Davies Gracie Brocklebank Max Oliver Kidd Isabella Lily Kidd FUNERAL 08.05.13 Ken Adams 2 Dear Friends, ‘The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field.’ Matthew 13 v 44 As I write this, the Sankey Valley Circuit is undertaking a process of self examination to determine God’s way forward, for us all, here in this area. This is hard, because it means truly looking at what and who we are. This then has to be balanced with need and resources available. God calls us to review all aspects of ourselves and our ministry in Penketh and Hood Manor and sometimes what that reveals is painful to acknowledge. But we are called to examine and look for hidden treasures on our Christian journeys that are so amazing that we want to dash off and tell others of the wonder of God’s love. I do want to encourage you then to search for treasure! Some of you may be into Geo caching…. (if you don’t know what that is, look it up), maybe others have a metal detector and walk patiently along beaches to find buried coins and remnants of days in the sun! But we have a treasure before us, in the words of Scripture. So often we don’t know their worth, or our own through them. We need to understand their value in our lives and know how to use them. Those of us who drive had driving lessons, read books on the highway code and were tested eventually to determine our suitability to be let loose on the rest of society that drive on our roads. The passion of the man described in the parable of the hidden treasure should be an example to us all. He was determined to succeed. (continued overleaf) 3 Do you want to succeed for God? How much do you want the treasures of His kingdom? How much are you prepared to give up or take on or change, to achieve those aims? It might mean sitting somewhere different in church so that you get to know different people, instead of always talking to the same group. It might mean finding the right words to ask someone you don’t know, how they are. It might mean changes in the way we serve and run our churches, but what will never change is the promise of God to be with us always. Friends, through times of personal change, illness, bereavement and family divisions I urge you to rely on the word of God, unchanging. In times of changing church and circuit structures I urge you to seek the word of God for guidance in decision-making, always with us. In times of searching, look for the treasure that is Jesus Christ in your lives, bringing peace and strength. I was going to wish you all a great summer but maybe I should just say, I hope we have a summer…… and keep searching for treasure! With much love in Christ Jesus. Sue Warrington Time Bank – Mr Philip Blocksidge from Warrington Time Bank is available to talk to groups about the services the Time Bank offers. The general principle is that volunteers can offer their time and skills and those requiring help in some form such as gardening, transport, etc. can ask for help. Visit www.warringtonva.org.uk to find out more. Philip can be contacted by e mail – [email protected] 4 Summer Sun by Robert Louis Stevenson Great is the sun, and wide he goes Through empty heaven with repose; And in the blue and glowing days More thick than rain he showers his rays. Though closer still the blinds we pull To keep the shady parlour cool, Yet he will find a chink or two To slip his golden fingers through. The dusty attic spider-clad He, through the keyhole, maketh glad; And through the broken edge of tiles Into the laddered hay-loft smiles. Meantime his golden face around He bares to all the garden ground, And sheds a warm and glittering look Among the ivy's inmost nook. Above the hills, along the blue, Round the bright air with footing true, To please the child, to paint the rose, The gardener of the World, he goes. This man buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks in a pleasant voice "Can you talk?" This goes on for weeks with absolutely no response from the bird. Finally one morning, totally fed up, he shouts "CAN YOU TALK, YOU STUPID CREATURE? CAN YOU TALK?" The bird looks him in the eye and says "I can talk, all right. Can you fly?" 5 A PAUSE FOR THOUGHT – Inward and Outward Call me a cynic, some people have, but in the last few years I have noticed the trend of the best-seller books has changed. Many are Christianity related books, people searching, crying out, “Is there anything else to life?”; the kind of books where people are looking for something deeper out of their existence. Even “Fifty Shades of Grey” suggests we are not getting enough out of our behaviour at its most fundamental level. Books include titles such as the well known ‘Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren, ‘The First Apostle’ by James Becker, ‘The Da Vinci Code’ by Dan Brown, and so many more. This trend is affecting a change in the world's ideology and more importantly how people view Christianity. The problem for Christianity arises when many Christians can't distinguish between fact and fiction in books like ‘The Da Vinci Code’ or other similar fiction books. Even worse, is when non-Christian people ask Christians religious questions and Christians simply give vague or misleading answers. To me this implies that Christian people do not know any better about Christian theology than non-Christian people, i.e. nothing more about their Christian heritage than their non-Christian counterparts. I like people to view their relationship with God as an open one, full of immense possibilities. So for example, when it comes to whether Jesus was married or not, I never give my opinion just let people decide based on what we know for definite in the Bible and surrounding historic documents. Maybe I am as guilty as ‘The Da Vinci Code’ or other similar fiction books. Maybe I am misleading people too! Nowadays you can easily find fiction books that are trying to change the truth of what Christianity believes in your local bookstore, as if such a beast exists in the world of Amazon. With such strong influences amongst the best-sellers some questions ought to arise among us. Questions such as why such mistaken beliefs can exist among Christians? Shouldn't Christians be more critical with these fiction books? Shouldn't Christians be the defenders of their beliefs? I think two primary issues are occurring. 6 The first issue is an inward problem within Christianity. According to Barna Group Survey only 47 percent of Christians in the US read the Scripture during a typical week. The Bible is God's Word and the foundation of Christian belief. Thus, many a Christian does not know their fundamental belief anymore. If we, as Christians, don't even read the Scripture any more how can we distinguish the biblical truth? In 2 Timothy 3:16, it clearly states that ‘All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.’ I believe this is typical throughout the Western world, although I dare say in the UK the figure is probably lower than 47% The second issue is an outward problem of Christianity. Fewer and fewer Christians are interested in being a witness to others about the truth of gospel. Christians forget to become salt and light as Jesus commanded. In Matthew 28:19, Jesus has clearly commanded us to ‘Go ye therefore, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.’ To be honest, how many people that we know have shared about the gospel in the last month alone? Many people I come across think that religion is a very private thing, and they don't even bother to preach the truth to nonbelievers. Is this because individualism and the “new-age” movement have poisoned the Christian mindset from being evangelistic? By resolving these two issues, hopefully we can build a stronger faith of Christianity and within our community. I have seen signs, especially in the West of Warrington, that we can be the light and salt to the non-Christian people, and we are being this, so we can straighten the mistaken view of our Lord, Jesus Christ, to non-Christian people who are influenced by the fiction book or other mistaken resources back to the truth of Christianity. May God continue to bless each of you in your reading and understanding. John Thompson 7 How wonderful to talk with and be empowered by the Holy Spirit Turn not away but seek the Lord, As metal-worker refines the ore. Seek out His truth and hear His word, Fresh as fruit from peel to core. Variegated vibrancy of creation, Shout His promise at every station. Pentecost, Trinity, Three in One, Powerful message: “Your will be done.” David Barker A young man moved away from his parents to become a student. Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, he led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the man replied. "A talking clock? Seriously? Asked his astonished friend. "Yeah," replied the student. "How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it. "Watch," the student replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: "You idiot, it's ten past three in the morning!" 8 When on a Summer’s Morn by William Henry Davies When on a summer's morn I wake, And open my two eyes, Out to the clear, born-singing rills My bird-like spirit flies. To hear the Blackbird, Cuckoo, Thrush, Or any bird in song; And common leaves that hum all day Without a throat or tongue. And when Time strikes the hour for sleep, Back in my room alone, My heart has many a sweet bird's song -And one that's all my own. Rules of the Universe Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs....you haven't grasped the seriousness of the situation! Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 9 A few puns which might have escaped you I tried to catch some fog. But I mist. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. And a few more bits of word-play… I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Broken pencils are pointless. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 10 FOR YOUNG PEOPLE Rainy Day Activities Let’s hope we have a beautiful summer. Here are some activities in case the sun doesn’t shine all the time. Blow Football This is a very simple game for two or four players suitable for children as young as 4. You can set it up anywhere and it should keep the kids amused for a while! Age: 4+ You Will Need: A ball. The best type of ball depends on the surface of the pitch. If you’re playing on a carpet, a light plastic ball like a Subbuteo ™ football or perhaps a table tennis ball is ideal; if you’re using a smooth surface like a table, you can use a heavier/rougher ball (even a dried pea !) Two goals (margarine tubs are good). A large drinking straw for each player Rules: Place a border round the pitch (books might be suitable) to stop the ball going outside the field of play. Then put the ball in the middle of the pitch and… blow. If you get the ball in the opponent’s goal you have scored. First to five goals wins. The only rule is that you’re not allowed to touch the ball while it is in play - with hand, straw or anything else. If you do, the opponent gets a penalty. Penalty shots: The offending player (or team if playing two-a-side) has to put down his straw, the ball goes on the middle of the pitch and the other team gets the chance to score unopposed. The offending team are not allowed to touch their straws to pick them up and defend until the other team has restarted. 11 Marble Drop Making the "board" will keep the kids occupied for a while; and so will playing the game. Siblings of different ages can play this with each other quite happily. Age: 5+ (with adult help) Preparation: You will need a large box lid (or, at a pinch, a large cereal box). Mark 5 circles on the lid of varying sizes, the first only just big enough for a marble to drop through, the others increasing by size. Paint the lid if you wish. Using a large felt-tip or marker pen, Number the largest hole 5; the next largest 10; the next, 20; the next, 50; and the smallest, 100. Place the box on the floor and give each child an equal number of marbles. The object of the game is to see which child can count the most by dropping the marbles into the box through the holes. Each player in turn stands over the box, holds his arm out straight, even with the shoulder, and drops the marbles one by one into the box. If one goes through the largest hole it counts 5, if through the smallest, 100, and so on, count being kept for each player. The one scoring the greatest number of points is the winner. On the whole, the age of the children doesn't matter - as children grow older and taller, their skill level should increase too and the benefits of being shorter should even out! Soap Bubble Contest Sometimes a bubble-blowing session can be just the thing especially on a rainy day! We have lots of ideas here, including one for turning bubble blowing into a team event. Make up some bubble mixture and find a variety of implements that can be used to blow bubbles - perhaps a traditional bubble wand, a drinking straw, or even a coat hanger bent into shape! Have a contest! Some suggestions are: 12 Who can blow the biggest bubble? Who can blow the most bubbles in a space of time? Who can have the most bubbles in the air at one time? Whose bubble stays in the air for the longest? Whose bubble pops first? Whose bubble pops last? Of course, one child on their own can still have fun with bubbles. Try timing your bubbles to see which lasts longest, or catching your bubbles in a plastic cup, or on your hand. Blow bubbles in the garden and see how far they travel, and experiment to see how many you can keep going at once. A summer picture to colour in 13 NEWS Do you know anyone, or would you like to come to a "cuppa and chat meet" on Friday July 19 at 2pm in the Cedar Room? To just chat to others and, if you like, bring your knitting, etc. I'll have the kettle on so do come. (No fundraising in sight!) Margaret Docherty Penketh Methodist Players Join us on a Mediterranean Cruise Saturday 31 August at 7.00pm Tickets at £5 on sale soon Ambassadors required Our rota for keeping The Olive Tree open throughout the week is working well and our thanks are due to all who help. However, some Ambassadors are putting in a lot of hours and a particular problem will arise on Thursday afternoons in September. More help is urgently required so that we can be sure we can open the building for all our bookings. If you feel able to help please contact Sue Barnes. Big clean / Decorating week at Penketh The Resources Group are planning to complete cleaning and maintenance/ painting jobs in the week beginning 29th July. What we can achieve will depend on the number of people who are able to help. Please sign up on the list inside the office diary for the week of 29th July. Many thanks. 14 Penketh Methodist Players Fancy a Mediterranean cruise? Well, you’ll have the opportunity on Saturday 31 August from 7pm at Penketh. We are organising a Mediterranean Cruise Evening. There’ll be games to play, puzzles to solve, food to try out, sketches and entertainment to enjoy and possibly join in with. All for the price of £5. Further details and information about tickets will be given soon in the notice sheets and on notice boards. Why not come along and enjoy a different sort of evening with plenty of excitement and laughter as we cruise the Mediterranean, whose shores are shared by so many countries with funny customs, strange modes of dress, challenging food, curious turns of phrase? Later in the year we hope to stage a play during the October half-term and possibly a musical show around Christmas time. Watch out for further announcements. Brian Snook A few quotations (always worth repeating) I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. Albert Einstein Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong. Geoff Arbuthnot Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Will Rogers Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again. F. P. Jones 15 Some stories will go to any length to get to a pun King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are." An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. From TV quiz shows Q What happened in Dallas on 22 November 1963? A I don’t know. I wasn’t watching it then. Q What’s the name of the long-running TV show about pensioners. ‘Last of the….. ? A Mohicans 16 Various signs seen On a vet’s door On a fence Back in 5 minutes Sit! Stay! Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive On a Church notice board Seven days without God makes one weak On a door Outside a car exhaust store No appointment necessary DRY PAINT We can hear you coming 17 CHRISTIAN AID Thank you to all who gave so generously to the retiring collection for Syria during April and May. £200 was raised. House-to-house collections - 12-18 May 2013 Thank you to the collectors. It is realised that some of our regular collectors are getting older and feel unable to carry on collecting, but to those who are able and willing to do this worthwhile work, it is very much appreciated and part of our Christian witness. We are the only church in our area who go out door-to-door. Does that matter? There are many churches in the Warrington area who collect from houses. Judging by the result of our counting, the response has been good. We are called to serve in whatever way we are able. Jesus said, “In as much as you do it for one of these, you do it for me.” There is a great need. Please pray for the work of Christian Aid. Thank you. Joan Pennington Christian Aid Secretary 18 An Email From God One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good. Well, he thought for a moment and said, maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another point of view. So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned she went to God and told him yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good. God said this was not good. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what that E-mail said? You didn't get one either,.....huh? The Rich Man There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed. Soon afterward, he died and showed up at the gates of heaven to greet St Peter. St Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" The man explained to St Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St Peter checked it out, came back and said, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." St Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought pavement?" 19 HEADLINES What the papers didn’t mean to say POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS PANDA MATING FAILS - VET TAKES OVER JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY IT MAY LAST A WHILE RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day. Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the shops with her friends, waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the conversation of the telephone call… Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly Smith is unable to make it to school today because she is ill. School secretary: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?" Kelly: "This is my mother." 20 BRAINTEASERS PALINDROMES Words which are spelt the same forwards as backwards have always fascinated people, so here are a few palindrome puzzles for you, Mum, Dad, Bob, Eve, Anna, and anyone else who’s feeling palindromic. Can you work out these single-word palindromes from each definition? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 a sort of canoe on an even keel farm animal put another roll on the wall it goes round and round... ...so does this public or private, see a more intense shade ones by themselves they’re a bit of a long read have a look or make a sound first name of famous conductor Klemperer it restores your spirits made into a god to direct the attention to And finally can you think of a palindrome which, when spelt in capital letters, reads the same forwards, backwards and upside-down? And if you’ve done all those, there’s only one thing to say. WOW ! Answers on page 22 21 THE NEXT EDITION OF CLIPS MAGAZINE The next Magazine will be issued on 8 September 2013. If you wish to contribute an item, please hand it in by 25 August. Items may be handed in to Sheila Holden or Brian Snook and can be handwritten, typed, word-processed as an electronic file or emailed to:[email protected] or [email protected] Answers to puzzles on page 21 PALINDROMES 1. kayak 2. level 3. ewe 4. repaper 5. rotor 6. rotator 7. eye 8. redder 9. solos 10. sagas 11. peep 12. Otto 13. reviver 14. deified 15. refer Extra question: NOON The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow." 22 CHURCH FLOWERS June 16 23 30 July 7 14 21 28 August 4 11 18 25 September 1 8 Hood Manor Mrs H Haigh Mrs T Rayner Mrs S Holden Ms H Porter Miss J Ashurst Mrs C Olver Mrs M Taylor Mrs K Bakkeren Mrs M Reid Mrs R Harrison Mrs F Tavlin Ms H Porter Mrs S Holden Penketh Mrs J Buxton Mrs L Darwin Mrs J Cooper & Miss J Bowyer Mrs D Wells/Misses M & E Watson Dr J Chamberlain Mrs J Pennington/Mrs C Gardam Mrs B Dever Mrs J Richardson Mrs L Pryar/Mrs J Wilson Mrs N Tither Mr D Tate/Mrs J Barker Mrs D Wilkinson Mrs M Linekar If you would like to sponsor flowers or join the rota, please contact one of the Flower Secretaries: Hood Manor : Mrs M Jackson (654550) Penketh : Mrs J Pennington (725748) or Mrs C Gardam (482014). 23 CHURCH SERVICES AND MEETINGS Sunday 10.30am 11.00am 7.45pm Morning Worship, Junior Church & Crèche [Penketh] Morning Worship [Hood Manor] Monday 745 Ladies’ Group - alternate weeks [Penketh] Contact: Audrey Sloan 724539 8.00pm Ladies’ Evening Fellowship-alternate weeks [Hood Manor] Contact: Pauline Twist 724728 Wednesday 10.30am Midweek Communion Service - monthly [Hood Manor] Thursday 2.00pm Women’s Fellowship - fortnightly [Penketh] Contact: Doris Besford 723539 Joan Pennington 725748 2.30pm Ladies’ Afternoon Fellowship - weekly [Hood Manor] Contact: Hilda Haigh 634584 Friday 7.45pm Men’s Fellowship - monthly [Penketh] Contact: David Barker 726620 Sunday Tuesday 10.30am 10.30am 1.00pm Wednesday 10.00am Tuesday 6.15pm 6.30pm 7.00pm Wednesday 5.30pm 6.45pm Friday 6.00pm 7.15pm YOUNGER PEOPLE Junior Church [Penketh] Liz Atkins 721516 Little Angels [Penketh] Tricia Rayner 725380 Little Angels [Hood Manor] Tiny Treasures [Penketh] Angela Brocklehurst 575260 UNIFORMED ORGANISATIONS Rainbows [Penketh] Lianne Cross Brownies [Penketh] Karen Royle Sue Devers Guides [Penketh] Sue Franklin c/o Rainbows [Hood Manor] Sheila Holden Cubs [Penketh] Steve Devers Beavers [Penketh] Kerrie Murray Scouts [Penketh] Ian Gornall 727507 726420 791848 791848 631144 791848 724352 727385 BIBLE STUDY AND FELLOWSHIP GROUPS 1.40pm Jenny Buxton 724671 7.45pm Diane Bennett 638566 Tuesday 7.30pm Keith Gardam 482014 Thursday 10.00am 7.30pm John Pennington 725748 Monday DRAMA GROUP Penketh Methodist Players Brian Snook 24 725463 CL 1306
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