ELA/Literacy
Released Item 2016
Grade 7
Narrative Writing Task
Blake Turns the Book Over
4284
E07_N_4284 Today you will read a passage from Endymion Spring. As you read, pay close attention
to the characters and events as you answer the questions to prepare to write a narrative
story.
Read the passage from the novelEndymion Spring. Then answer the questions.
from Endymion Spring
by Matthew Skelton
1
Blake checked his watch—thirty-six minutes—and sighed.
He tried walking backwards now, tapping the books in reverse order, to see if this
would help pass the time.
2
A series of stern-looking portraits glared down at him from the walls. Like magicians,
they were dressed in dark capes and had sharp, pointy beards. Elaborate ruffs, like
squashed chrysanthemums, burst from their collars. The older men had jaded eyes and
tortoise-like skin, but there were also a few pale-faced boys like himself. He glanced at
their nameplates: Thomas Sternhold (1587–1608); Jeremiah Wood (1534–1609); Isaac
Wilkes (1616–37); Lucius St. Boniface de la Croix (1599–1666). Each man was holding
a small book and pointing to a relevant passage with a forefinger, as though reminding
future generations to remain studious and well-behaved.
3
Blake disregarded their frowns of disapproval and continued running his fingers along
the books, rapping the spines with the back of his knuckles.
4
5
All of a sudden, he stopped.
One of the volumes had struck him back! Like a cat, it had taken a playful swipe at his
fingers and ducked back into hiding. He whisked his hand away, as though stung.
6
He looked at his fingers, but couldn’t see anything unusual. They were smeared with
dust, but there was no obvious mark or injury on his skin. Then he looked at the books
to see which one had leaped out at him, but they all seemed pretty ordinary, too. Just
row upon row of crumbly old volumes, like toy soldiers in leather uniforms standing to
attention—except that one of them had tried to force its way into his hand.
7
He sucked on his finger thoughtfully. A thin trail of blood, like a paper cut, was forming
where the book had nicked his knuckle.
8
All around him the library was sleeping in the hot, still afternoon. Shafts of sunlight
hung in the air like dusty curtains and a clock ticked somewhere in the distance, a
ponderous sound that seemed to slow down time. Small footsteps crept along the
floorboards above. That was probably his sister, Duck, investigating upstairs. But no
one else was around.
9
Only Mephistopheles, the college cat, a sinewy black shadow with claws as sharp as
pins, was sunbathing on a strip of carpet near the window—and he only cared about
one thing: himself.
10
As far as Blake could tell, he was entirely alone. Apart, that is, from whatever was
lurking on the shelf.
11
12
Slowly, cautiously, he ran his fingers again along the books.
“Blake!” his mother hissed. Her face had appeared from the office doorway. She was
checking up on him—as usual, just when he was on the point of disobeying her.
13
14
Paula Richards, the librarian, stood behind her, smiling amiably.
“What did I tell you?” his mother scolded him. “You’re not to touch the books. They’re
fragile, rare and in some cases extremely valuable. Now pick up that book carefully and
go find your sister. I won’t be much longer.”
15
Blake looked down, surprised. There in front of him, face down on the floor, was an
unremarkable brown leather volume he hadn’t noticed before. It seemed to be waiting
for him to turn it over.
16
From ENDYMION SPRING by Matthew Skelton, text copyright © 2006 by Matthew Skelton. Used by permission of Random House
Children's Books, a division of Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
4284
Anchor Set
A1 – A10
With Annotations
A1
Score Point 4
Annotation
Anchor Paper 1
Written Expression
Score Point 4
This response is effectively developed with narrative elements and maintains
an effective style. Blake’s situation and the context of mystery are all clearly
established early in the response, helping to orient and engage the reader
(“Do I have to repeat myself? Pick up the book!” . . . but to him, it wasn’t
lifeless . . . the brown leather volume was somehow alive, somehow
magical). Beginning with Blake being struck by the book and culminating in
the discovery that he is a wizard, events are well-sequenced and unfold
logically and naturally. Although there is limited development of some
events, the response is organized effectively with clear and coherent
language. A variety of transitional words and phrases effectively conveys the
sequencing of events. The conclusion follows from and reflects on the
narrated events by showing how the experience improved Blake’s perception
of the library (always so dark, with only a small slit of sunlight . . . the
laughter lifted the darkness, and a little more sunlight slipped into the room).
Figurative and sensory language and descriptive details capture the action of
the narration and convey the experience (like a lion, pounching at its prey.
Just then he heard a gasp escape from his mother’s mouth [and] His mothers
face was a stone, blank, and stiff [and] Blake’s voice was barely audible
when he asked his mother shakily). Sentences are consistently varied in
length and type, and word choice is precise and sustained throughout the
response, contributing to an effective style.
A2
Score Point 4
Annotation
Anchor Paper 2
Written Expression
Score Point 4
The response is effectively developed with narrative elements. By describing
how Blake imagines that the book is speaking to him, both the context and
Blake’s unique point of view are established. Relevant, vivid descriptions of
Blake’s reactions to events further develop his character and the experience
(Terror filled Blake . . . the curious part of his mind taking over. Blake’s
mouth was hanging open as he reread the letter. It was sacred, amazing and
extraordinary). Although there appears to be some disconnect between
Blake’s initial sense of fear and finding a historical document, the unexpected
loss of the letter to the deliberate actions of the cat maintains the eerie tone
established earlier in the narrative. Transitional words and phrases convey
the sequence of events effectively. The conclusion is effective, deliberately
leaving the reader to wonder what will happen next. Overall, the writing is
clear and concise and events unfold naturally. The figurative language in
paragraph two helps build the excitement and contributes to an effective
narrative style. In addition, sentences are varied and word choice is
consistently precise (glancing, rummaging, dreadful, taunting, splendid,
peered).
A3
Score Point 3
Annotation
Anchor Paper 3
Written Expression
Score Point 3
Development of narrative elements is mostly effective. This response picks
up where the original story left off, which is appropriate to the task of
continuing the narrative. The context of mystery and suspense is established
immediately and serves to engage the reader. The events in the first three
paragraphs are sequenced logically and developed with clear descriptions of
Blake’s opinions and actions (He was frightened, though curiosity overruled
reason. Blake always read Sci-Fi and horror books. He told himself that it was
his imagination). The fourth paragraph has descriptive details, but the pacing
is rushed. Although events in the last two paragraphs have limited
development, the response is organized with mostly clear and coherent
writing. Transitional phrases are repetitive but convey the sequence in a way
that can be followed with little effort. Concluding with Blake’s intent to never
return to the library clearly follows from the narrated events. A mostly
effective style is established and maintained through adequate variety of
sentence structures, instances of precise word choice, and some sensory
language.
A4
Score Point 3
Annotation
Anchor Paper 4
Written Expression
Score Point 3
This response is mostly effectively developed with narrative elements. The
scene is established, placing Blake alone in the library. Blake’s confusion and
curiosity are not extensively developed, but are clearly established. Although
this response contains only several events, they are logically sequenced and
unfold naturally. Events and experiences are developed with some vivid
descriptions and internal dialogue (. . . creaking the floorboards upstairs. . . .
monsters and creatures not known to man. . . . Maybe, just maybe, that all
could be real. Could it?). Transitional phrases are occasionally repetitive
(Blake returned his attention back to the book. The back was old leather . . .
The front was like the back, The book had gotten his attention) and the
response ends somewhat abruptly, but the response is organized with mostly
clear and coherent language. The sequence of events is easy to follow and
the conclusion does follow from the narrated events. Overall, a mostly
effective style is established and maintained. Sensory and descriptive details
are few, but sentences have some variety and the response contains
instances of precise language (uncertain, creaking, gingerly, revealing,
murmured).
A5
Score Point 2
Annotation
Anchor Paper 5
Written Expression
Score Point 2
The response is developed with some narrative elements. The basic situation
is established with Blake picking up the weird colored book. Internal and
external dialogue is attempted (wondering how could the book be blank
[and] “Boo!” said his sister [and] ”We have to go now!” said Blake). Events
are developed with some relevant details (The pages began to gloom with a
weird color [and] He wentup the old dark stairs). In addition to being
somewhat sparse, the narrative elements provided are not organized logically
and do not unfold naturally. For example, Blake’s search for his sister
continues after he found her (Blake went and found his sister, He wentup the
old dark stairs to get his sister. He searched for her everwhere and couldn’t
seem to find her). The lack of appropriate transitions makes events hard to
follow in places. The response has a style that is somewhat effective. Some
descriptive details are used, but overall the sentences are similarly
constructed. The occasional use of precise language does not elevate the
overall style.
A6
Score Point 2
Annotation
Anchor Paper 6
Written Expression
Score Point 2
The response is developed with some narrative elements and is generally
appropriate to the task. The first sentence of the response establishes the
situation. The rest of the response is almost entirely dialogue. Blake’s
internal dialogue helps to create tension and develop Blake’s character and
motivation (Oh no he thought, It was my fault that fell on the floor. . . .
What if i get blamed and get grounded). The dialogue with the librarian does
not contribute to development but does serve to establish some organization
of events. The conversation is somewhat circular, but can be followed and
allows the response to end logically when Blake says goodbye and leaves the
library. Finally, the style in this response is somewhat effective. Blake’s
conversation with the librarian lacks sentence variety, precise language and
details. However, there are some varied sentence structures and descriptions
in the first paragraph.
A7
Score Point 1
Annotation
Anchor Paper 7
Written Expression
Score Point 1
This response is minimally developed with few narrative elements and
demonstrates limited organization. The first paragraph establishes the
situation and context of suspense with some description (It was all dusty ,
dirty & mysteriouse). The second paragraph concludes Blake’s experience
using some description and maintaining the suspense (something behind
him, There was something standing two feet from him ,just standing there. It
was a . . .). Pacing is compressed, but a limited order of events is established
and a few transitions help convey the sequence (as soon as, But not only
regret). A few instances of figurative language help establish a style that has
limited effectiveness (like on Halloween Night, like a cat on fire).
A8
Score Point 1
Annotation
Anchor Paper 8
Written Expression
Score Point 1
This response contains very few details and descriptions, and is only
minimally connected to the prompt. However, the writing is clearly narrative
in nature and captures the feeling of suspense (the sweat from his nervous
face . . . slowly placed his hand on the cool leather cover). The response
demonstrates limited organization with a simple chronological ordering of
events. An instance of figurative language and a few precise words create a
style that has limited effectiveness for narrative writing (. . . as a cheeta
would do its prey, nervous, dripping).
A9
Score Point 0
Annotation
Anchor Paper 9
Written Expression
Score Point 0
This response is virtually undeveloped. The response may appear to have
some dialogue and narrative details, but that portion of the response is
copied directly from the passage. The copied material is not incorporated into
an original narrative. Rather, a single sentence of original writing is tacked
onto the end of the copied excerpt (Probably from what the story is telling us
maybe when he turned the book over it was something like he never seen
before). In addition, direct copy from the selection does not demonstrate any
organization or style. The single original sentence is expository in nature and
inappropriate to the task.
A10
Score Point 0
Annotation
Anchor Paper 10
Written Expression
Score Point 0
Although this response is not undeveloped, the details provided are
presented using an expository approach. The expository writing is
inappropriate to the narrative task, and therefore establishes an
inappropriate style. The response also demonstrates some limited
organization, but this does not overcome the inappropriate elements.
Practice Set
P101 - P105
No Annotations Included
P101
P102
P103
P104
P105
Practice Set
(order of scores: Written Expression, Conventions)
Paper
Score
P101
2,2
P102
0,1
P103
4,3
P104
3,3
P105
1,1