Press-Republican—Thursday, March 20,1986 1 3
Inventions
seen as
impractical
ByERMABOMBECK
For some reason I will never
figure out, most of the inventors
in this country are men, who
create products that are used
mostly by women.
Por those of us who must use
these products, the results are
obvious.
The man who designed the
modern-day iron, for example,
never stopped to figure out that
the only women who iron
anymore are over 40. We can't
find our glasses without glasses.
So how can we possibly see HOT,
MEDIUM or COOL on the iron
without burning our noses?
Same deal with the sewing
machine. Who was the humorist
who thought it would be amusing
to put a needle at chest level
witli ttaAole facing away from
y light that blinded us
when wm came within range? It
has always been so.
sweepers were invented in 1876, with an attachment for all seasons. Most
women would rather fight off
eight Merchant Marines in the
back seat of a convertible than
juggle all the parts of a sweeper.
Curling irons were invented by
men, which is why a tiny screw
that holds the handle on also
heats up so that you have to not
only keep the rod away from
your scalp, but your fingers
away from the handle. Neat
trick.
What they should have put a
heater on were the stethoscopes
they invented in 1816. And you
have already figured out that onwould invent a seepg
to ppullover
your leftovers while they
h are
stored. Women never said they
wanted to SEE their leftovers
. . . only to store them until it
was timetorburial.
You have only to look at a
bicycle seat to know that a man
designed the seats without ever
having looked at a woman leaving a room. It is physically impossible to distribute a female
form over H. In 18&2, men were
onto something when Whitcomb
L. Judson invented the zipper,
, in weir mnnms wisoour
someone put the men's tippers
in the front of their clothes and
women's in the back where they
could neither see nor reach
them.
In a profession that is supposed to spawn mothers of necessity, it strange there are so few
women inventors, but their
discoveries have been of major
significance.
Jane Wells was the first to acknowledge children did not sit in
seats, they Jumped in them and
bounced off the ceiling, so she
invented the jumper seat.
Margaret Knight revolutionized
marketing when she came put
with a paper bag with a Square
bottom that stood up when you
put it down. And who can forget
Ruth Wakefield who dropped
pieces of a candy bar in her
cookie batter one day and invented the Toll House cookie.
But my candidate for major
inventor of her time is Elizabeth
Flanagan, an upstate barmaid,
who combined rum, rye whiskey
and fruit juice, decorated the
glass with a feather from the tail
of her Tory neighbors rooster,
handed it to a French officer and
said, "Vive lecoq's tail."
It's been an antidote for man's
inventions ever since.
STARTS TODAY... t THE SAVINGS GO ON THRU SATURDAY, MARCH 29th! BUT HURRY IN
FOR THE BEST SELECTION OF HOT FASHIONS FOR SPRING — AT UP TO 50% SAVINGS
ALL
"LIZ CLAIBORNE
EARLY SPRING
DESIGNS
25% O
25% OFF
Veterans
Now that the U.S. government
has so much to give, like $100
million for Contra aid. how
about as vets from World War
II, Korea, and Vietnam? Most of
as from World War II are living
on fixed incomes.
World War I vets had to wait
K fears tfeea had to march on
Wuhh****
*I* twtv hayf tr% An
the same. Or is the government
waiting for most of us to die off
•o they won't have to pay us'
Coaching
It*s too bud a local high school
coach doesn't teach ail of his
players defensive basketball and
rebowMtag. Oae player was
picked as the shooter, but
doen't know bow to rebound or
play defense.
With his height he should be
cectiftff #U of (he rvbowiMls stnl
blocking shot*, but the poor kid
doesn't know bow. The coadr IM
hurting him more than helping
$
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don t slander or make accusations.
JUNIOR SHAKER
KNIT
100% COTTON
SWEATERS
JUNIOR JACKETS
FOR SPRII
II