Separates for the International Order of the B’nai B’rith Girls
BBYO International Convention 2016  5777 | Changing the Game | Friday, February 17th
BBGs enter the room – disperse however they’d like throughout the room, facing the front.
00:00 - 00:05 Introduction to Separates
ONE: What is the craziest thing you have ever done, whether in BBYO or outside of BBYO?
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: This is rhetorical, give them time to think.]
ONE: I’m sure many of us are thinking of something along the lines of cliff jumping, running for an elected
office whether that be in BBYO or not or fun memories with our friends. Yet why don’t we associate the
craziest thing we have ever done with something we are doing to solve our world’s global issues?
TWO: Around the room there are posters with different topics. Choose the cause that you are most
passionate about changing and create a circle with the girls that also choose that topic. In the next ten
minutes we want you to create a solution to this issue. Imagine that you have access to the top talent,
unlimited money and resources, and the ability to get anything else you may need. As long as it does not
involve supernatural powers, your idea is possible.
ONE: Anita Perlman once said that BBG is about bringing “teenagers together to discuss drugs, sex, love,
marriage, ecology and Soviet Jewry - anything that affects them.” The reason that we are able to be together
is because BBG was derived from the idea of creating a space where girls can discuss things that matter.
TWO: On our own we all have the drive to create change, but when we come together we have the ability to
enact this change in a tangible and real capacity, change that impacts the course of our society. Get up, find
an issue, make a group, create a solution.
00:05 - 00:15 Workshopping Time
Girls are in their groups creating a solution.
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: If BBGs are struggling, they should use the posters to identify specific parts of the issue
that they want to fix.]
00:15 - 00:25 Group Presentations
Ask for about 5 groups to present one by one. Have 1 person present their solution. This can either occur
based off of volunteers or picking groups to go. Due to timing, move through this quickly - have girls stand up
where they are.
00:25 - 00:38 Changing The Way We Approach Failure & Getting Educated
ONE: We realize that to create a solution to our world’s problems is something that people spend years
working towards. You just did something that people around the world never have the confidence to do in
their lives.
 Raise your hand if you have ever felt embarrassed or uncomfortable to ask a question or share an
idea in a group setting?
 Raise your hand if you have you ever felt nervous leading a program in front of a group of BBGs?
What about when Alephs are present as well?

Raise your hand if you have you ever stayed quiet at a committee or chapter meeting when you had
an idea to share, but you weren’t sure if the group would approve?
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: Pause here for reflection time, allow a moment.]
TWO: Thank you, you can put your hands down now. Clearly this is something we all experience. We hear all
the time that it is okay to fail and that failure is a part of learning and as long as you "fail forward" and learn
from your mistakes, it's OK. But how are we defining failure? Why is it that when we don’t achieve a goal we
automatically mark it in our heads as a failure? Why do we find the need to label an unmet expectation as
failure when we are not even the ones setting them? So often these expectations are thrust upon us by
society and we feel no choice but to conform.
ONE: Our world has hardwired us to strive for perfection and nothing less. At the bottom of every single
award we hand out for the International Order of the B'nai B'rith Girls or the Grand Order of the Aleph Zadik
Aleph, we include a line from the Talmud, Megillah 6b - according to the effort is the reward. Meaning that
when we make the effort we will find results whether we succeed or not. The steps you took in attempt to
reach your goal are more valuable to your confidence and personal growth than anything else.
TWO: We need to be creating an environment where when we fail, we are greeted with support and
opportunities for learning and growth. The doing is often more important than the outcome. We need a
world that allows anyone to voice their craziest, most innovative ideas without feeling judged. The best ideas
come from the craziest ones and if we are all too scared to voice them there will be no innovation in the
future.
ONE: This fear of failure is especially common among women. Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, authors of The
Confidence Code, have spent the past two decades interviewing some of the most influential women in the
United States. After analyzing the responses they received, they wrote that there is “a particular crisis for
women—a vast confidence gap that separates the sexes. Compared with men, women don’t consider
themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they’ll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate
their abilities.”
TWO: Does this sound like you? Does this sound like someone you know? When we are not confident with
ourselves, it’s noticeable; and unfortunately, many times women can be perceived as inferior, shy, or selfconscious. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Tonight, over the course of the next few days, and in the years
to come, we are the ones who have the potential to reverse this trend; to build our own confidence, and the
confidence of those around us.
ONE: And our confidence building begins now - let's hear your voices:
1. What specific steps can you take to create a culture of confidence for yourself and your peers?
2. How can we use BBG as a platform to propel ourselves into action?
Full group discussion - 5 minutes (take hands)
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: If nobody is discussing, use the following to continue prompting content.]
1. As BBGs, we can use BBYO to run a program at home about our biggest passion to spread what we
love to everyone else.
2. I can applaud and support another girl for sharing her opinion, even if I don’t agree with it.
3. I can give a compliment to another girl about her strong personality or bravery!
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: After 5 minutes, please gather attention back to the front of the room.]
TWO: Being strong and confident women is not just something we embrace as BBGs, but it is a value deeply
rooted in Judaism. The Jewish value of K’Vod Nashim promotes the honor and respect of women and is
manifested in everything we do, say and act upon.
ONE: Our confidence as women has been alive for thousands of years. In the face of persecution, through
the resiliency post tragedy and centuries of doubt and lesser status, the Jewish woman has ALWAYS
prevailed. At every step of the way she has proven herself strong, worthy and confident. Whether it was
Sarah, thousands of years ago, and laughed in the face of skepticism or Chana Szenes (SEH-NESH), female
paratrooper during WWII, who was willing to die to keep the secrets of Israel. Whether it was Esther who
singlehandedly saved the Jewish people in the story of Purim we’ve now come to love or Golda Meir, or
Israel’s first female Prime Minister who boldly took on a role despite criticism and scrutiny, our matriarchs
have fought against scrutiny, against the status quo, and every time they stood against all odds, they did so
with confidence.
TWO: Today, as proud Jewish women, we strive to be confident and to embody the values that led our
ancestors to success. Confidence continues to play a vital role in our lives today, and it is essential for us to
be cognizant of just how rooted this value is in Judaism, and how none of us would be here today without
the strength, diligence and strong will of each and all of these women, and many others. So, the next time
that you feel anything less than the worthy, confident and incredible BBG that you are, remember of the
accomplishments of those who came before you, the value of K’Vod Nashim and the potential you have to
do great that has and will persist above all.
ONE: It is time to start making the changes so that we can honor our ancestors confidence and bravery. WE
are the ones that have to be bold and brave. WE have to be the ones that start taking risks and get back up
even if we fail. WE have to be the ones who are cultivating secure environments within our chapters, our
councils, our regions, and our countries where every BBG feels comfortable and empowered.
00:38 - 00:42 Introducing the Manifesto
TWO: A year ago the founder of Girls Who Code gave a TedTalk about teaching bravery. She said something
that deeply resonates with who we are as a people and who we are as B’nai B’rith Girls, “Most girls are
taught to avoid risk and failure. We're taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A's. Boys, on the other hand,
are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off head first.
And by the time they're adults, whether they're negotiating a raise or even asking someone out on a date,
they're habituated to take risk after risk. They're rewarded for it. It's often said in Silicon Valley, no one even
takes you seriously unless you've had two failed startups. In other words, we're raising our girls to be perfect,
and we're raising our boys to be brave.”
ONE: It’s time for the world to know that we, as women and as B’nai B’rith Girls, are not backing down.
Moving forward, we are going to take one of the first steps towards closing the confidence gap. We have
created a manifesto that we hope inspires you to unlock the power you hold to create change.
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: Flip the poster over and read the manifesto which is printed on poster board and will
be held by leaders in the front of the room.]
TWO: Our manifesto says...
Read Manifesto:
I strive to be bold and brave because when I am confident, my words can make an impact. With my
drive, passion, and energy, I am on a mission to shatter expectations and to make my voice heard.
Whenever I walk into a room, I will remind myself that I am kind, that I am powerful, and that I am
enough. For a woman of valor truly makes the world change.
ONE: Let those words sink in. We're going to read it again and we know you're listening, but we don't just
want you to listen - we want you to HEAR the words of this manifesto. Hear the promise and the pledge that
we're making here, tonight.
Read Manifesto:
I strive to be bold and brave because when I am confident, my words can make an impact. With my
drive, passion, and energy, I am on a mission to shatter expectations and to make my voice heard.
Whenever I walk into a room, I will remind myself that I am kind, that I am powerful, and that I am
enough. For a woman of valor truly makes the world change.
TWO: This is our manifesto. These are our words and we are going to scream them from the rooftops in San
Francisco to the streets of Tel Aviv and we have the tools to help you do just that. When we conclude our
meaningful Havdallah and head into the State of the Order on Saturday night, an email is going to hit your
inboxes with a GIF version of our manifesto. Together, let's share our values so that they not only become
our actions, but inspire the actions of others.
[FACILITATOR’S NOTE: Please pass out the mini manifestos.]
ONE: Put these pocket manifestos in your nametag now and when you get home, put it somewhere you will
keep close like your wallet or backpack. It will serve as your reminder and promise to be bold and brave.
00:42 - 00:45 Conclusion (Action Plan Moving Forward)
TWO: The article we referenced earlier discussed that “the natural result of low confidence is inaction. When
women hesitate because we aren’t sure, we hold ourselves back.” We need to take our passion and use our
bravery to be bold enough to change the world.
ONE: In the Ted Talk we just noted also discussed that “we have to begin to undo the socialization of
perfection, but we've got to combine it with building a sisterhood that lets girls know that they are not alone.
Because trying harder is not going to fix a broken system.”
TWO: We are all now at the forefront of teaching ourselves and girls around the world that we need to be
brave and create a supportive network that is constantly cheering girls on. If we can do this, we will be
building incredible things.
ONE: It is time to brave, to do crazy things because you are confident in your abilities and are supportive
whether you fail or not. It is time that girls are taught to jump off the monkey bars and take risks from a
young age.
TWO: We have to socialize ourselves and our peers to be comfortable with imperfection, and we've got to do
it now. We cannot wait any longer to be brave and be able to instantly think of the craziest thing we have
ever done. If we wait any longer we are following the stigma that so desperately needs to be broken.
ONE: As Jewish women, we have the responsibility to honor the Jewish value of Ometz Lev: Bravery of the
Heart. This perfectly encapsulates everything we did tonight. If our ancestors were brave enough to stand up
for what they believe in, such as the Maccabees battling the Greeks or Queen Esther standing up for the
Jewish people, why can’t we?
TWO: We are strong women and BBGs from around the world and together we have taken the pledge to act
on our beliefs. The women who have stood before us have paved the way for us to take the next step for
ourselves, every BBG and the future of women around the world.
ONE: We have to be brave in schools and early in our careers, when it has the most potential to impact our
lives and the lives of others, and we have to show ourselves and others that we will love and accepted one
another constantly. Not for being perfect but for being courageous. And so we challenge you to tell friend
you have, young girl you babysit, teacher, sister or any relative because when we are taught and teach girls
to be imperfect, and we help others leverage it, we will build a movement of young women who are brave
and who will build a better world for ourselves and for each and every girl around.
TWO: Be bold, be brave, be heard.
ONE: So now, Sister BBGs - let us raise our voices and affirm our strength the same way every single B’nai
B’rith Girl from Anita Perlman has done so before us and everyone will do after us, by joining in We Pledge to
Thee and our BBG Pep Song.