GREBEL
SPEAKS
SPRING
May 2016
Don’t JUST READ
THIS TITLE
Yes, you’ve picked up the right stack of papers. This is the first GrebelSpeaks of the term. Maybe
you’re sipping an early morning coffee. Maybe your alarm went off two hours ago and you finally made
it to breakfast. Nevertheless, we are excited to share the first edition of Grebel’s written musings with
you. This is a collection of stories, poems, and adventures through which we will reveal yet another facet
of Grebel this Spring term. Don’t let the words stay on these pages – we need to turn them into new
adventures as we trade the letters for new locations where we can explore, study, and live in wonder.
We believe that this term, more than any other we have yet experienced at Conrad Grebel, we
will collectively witness the power of the written word to transform our minds and hearts. When each of
you takes the time to share your favourite new thought you have the chance to touch people who you
never would have expected. With this edition we are inviting you to become a part of our expression of
ideas as a college.
Thanks especially to Ken and Catherine for agreeing to be interviewed for this issue, as well as
all of you for taking the time to read it!
Your Editors,
Lily Roth & Jonathan Smith
[email protected]
Quotes
Quite Unfortunate Or Thoughtlessly Epic Sentences
Eligibility is a state of mind.
Mack H.
I dunno, herpes has done great things for me
Aiden M.
I’m and equal-opportubity hater
Jackson B.
There’s a lot of testostrogen in here right now!
Hannah H.
She just gave me the tongue. It’s like the finger, but worse.
Ryan D.
BUT THIS TIME, it would be legal
Alex R.
[To the Nanos] You guys are my Fantastic Four
Aiden M.
Oh wow, you are warm. Oh wow, I’m actually
enjoying this
Stephen C.
I thought they come in January. Oh wait, it’s
February. Oh wait… [poop][sic], it’s May!
Kyle L.
You can buy a piece of Nathaniel for one dollar
Janelle N.
This is a game of seduction, and instanudity
Jared B.
Would Moedred please come out of the closet?
Nathaniel K.
[On World War] An International Hug, with
guns
Stephen C.
Have fun with your Bible seduction
Sarah M.
If you kill the joe you make some mo
Nathan B.
It’s more like Godssip, am I right?
Erik M.
You could have Chinese people coming from,
like… China?
Matt C.
The Menno life didn’t choose me. I chose the
Menno life.
Kyle L.
CO-OP Confessions
KEN SCHWARTZEL
Where was your co-op and what did you do?
I was working for William Osler Health System at Etobicoke General Hospital. I
was the Special Project Engineering Assistant working with both the Engineering team
and the Capital Development team. The teams dealt with keeping the building running
and managing building upgrades/renovations respectively. Part of my job was to
smooth out the communications between the two departments. I mainly helped manage
building renovation projects, which included: getting the required approvals and
documentation, coordinating electrical and sprinkler shutdowns, and solving any
unforeseen issues that came up along the way. How did you end up getting the job?
I got this job through Jobmine. It was a ranking, so whoever got the offer didn’t
take it and I was next in line.
What was a highlight?
A highlight was seeing the projects that I’d worked on come to completion and
seeing the clinical staff starting to use the newly renovated space.
Did anything crazy happen while you were at work?
A TTC bus crashed into a multi-prisoner transport vehicle right by the hospital. It
resulted in about 10 police cars and 8 ambulances being lined up outside the emergency
department. It was like something out of a movie! Needless to say it made for a busy day
for the hospital staff.
What was your favourite part of the job?
Observing the interactions between departments, hearing about the history of
the hospital, and seeing how people negotiated with others. It was a great learning
experience.
What did you learn?
Two main things I learned were general hospital procedures & building
requirements, and how to work with a wide range of different people. I also learned how
dependant a hospital is on its mechanical systems. For instance: if the water mains go
down, then the boilers have to shutdown because they can’t make any steam without
water. Without steam then there’s no building heating, no hot water and all operating
rooms need to shutdown because there is no steam to clean the medical instruments.
Things like this really showed how dependent the hospital was on the mechanical
systems providing services to the facility.
Summarize the term in a few words.
A great learning experience with interesting team dynamics.
Daffodils
Even Though We Like Tulips In Canada
By William Wordsworth
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced, but they
Outdid the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
CO-OP Confessions (Deux)
Catherine Fowler
Where was your co-op and what did you do? I worked in Toronto for a company called Index Exchange, which is an ad
company that specializes in online advertising. They host real-time auctions to sell the
adspaces on various publishers' websites to other advertising companies. I worked in a
team with 3 other people to go through their data logs, compile it, and create a simple
way to present that data to publishers. We were given very little guidance beyond: be
creative!
How did you end up getting the job?
Through Jobmine: I drove to Toronto for the interview on December 22nd and by
the time I got back home I had an e-mail saying I got the job starting January 4th!
What was a highlight?
The work atmosphere was great! It was a really cool office with a bunch of glass
walls you could write on with whiteboard markers, free snacks, weekly catered lunches,
finger print scanners, and beanbag chairs. We also went on several outings like bowling
and an escape room.
What was a lowlight?
One individual, who will remain nameless, supposedly was the most experienced
member of my team but he turned out to be the weakest member of the team. I had a
hard time dealing with him since he was super arrogant and anytime he asked a
question it took forever to try and explain it to him. One time he sought my advice and I
suggested an idea I had, then later in a meeting he presented it like it was his idea. It
was frustrating.
Did anything interesting/funny happen while you were at work?
I found out I was the youngest person there because of “beer-o-clock”. When I
found out I was the only person underage in my team at the time, I asked my supervisor
if there was anyone else underage. Her response was that sometimes there were people
younger than me at the office - one co-worker’s kids, aged 10 and 12.
What was your favourite part of the job?
The overall atmosphere, the learning opportunity, and the total free reign to
figure things out.
What did you learn?
I learned a ton of technical stuff related to being a software engineer. I learned
that I am very bad at dealing with arrogant people. Also, I learned that I need to balance
my social and work life. I lived with my grandma, had an hour and 15 minute commute,
and I wasn’t very close to my team members so I lacked any real social life. I missed
being at Grebel a lot!
Summarize the term in a few words.
Overall an excellent experience, but I wouldn’t be heartbroken if I didn’t have to
be in that situation again. Where to Wheel
Making The Most of Our Gyroscopic Machines
By Jonathan Smith
The Closest Bend on the Grand River via Road and Bike Lanes
The Distance From Grebel: 7 km to the River
The Route: Hop onto Columbia going East and follow it as it turns into Lexington until it hits a
T-junction with University. You’ll be riding in bike lanes or on the paved road all the way. There
are some dirt trails following the river south once you arrive. You’ll know you’ve made it once
you see the water.
The Review: A wonderful place to spend a casual afternoon enjoying a picnic or floating down
the river using the pink tube hidden on the other side. We recommend entertaining yourself by
creating bouquets of flowers or trying to catch fish.
Kitchener via The Iron Horse Trail
The Distance From Grebel: 7 km to Ottawa Street.
The Route: Get onto the Iron Horse Trail off of Caroline Street South near Uptown Waterloo.
Take the flat and nicely paved trail all the way through the western side of Waterloo and
Kitchener. The route has occasional stop signs and has a steady stream of visitors on sunny
weekends.
The Review: If you haven’t explored Kitchener yet, this is the route for you! Take your time to
savour the train track graffiti exhibition and diverse neighbourhoods or stop in at the City Cafe
Bakery on the corner of Victoria and West for a bite to eat. And make sure to explore Kitchener
while you’re down there!
Guelph via The Kissing Bridge Trail*
The Distance: Long
The Route: Unknown
The Review: Worth it
*untested My Rights,
My Wrongs
I Write Till I’m
Right With God
- Kendrick Lamar