THE AMERICAN GOLFER
(To a friend—Dr. Carlos MacDonald—
who had recommended it and had sent a
book on golf.)
Ye bletherin loun, that's no' the thing,
The fundamentals o' the swing
Tak place abune a' ither thing
That may be named;
I whiles agreed and bore the sting,
I wis sae shamed.
Dear Friend:
When I addressed the ba'
At first, I thought the trick was sma'
The easiest job that e'er I saw
Thought I, it's fine;
But pride must always hae a fa',
And I got mine.
Anither thing my bonnie jo,
Ye aye maun keep yir heid doun low;
I, mine wi shame was hinging, so
I said na, nay,
But jouk't to try my golfing Pro.
Anither day.
"LEARNING GOLF WITH A PROFESSIONAL"
The Pro. he said, noo tak yir stance:
Weel that I did and did at ance,
But vow! I wis an unco dunce,
I drave like h—1:
When ae fut slipped and for the nonce
I nearby fell.
That's no' the way to tak yir grip,
It's hand to hand and dinna slip:
Wi that I gie't an awfu' clip;
Man but 'twas queer;
It gied the green a muckle rip
That made him sweer.
Na, na, said he, that winna do,
Ye aye maun play yir 'follow thro':
Says I, t'masel that I can do,
I'll show ye now,
An gied a spank wad dig a sheugh. (trench)
Like ony plow.
485
Dear friend, that day will never come,
I know my game is on the bum.
I'll hold my own at drinking rum,
Or Irish tay,
But Gowfs a game I'll ne'er o'ercome
Some ither day.
I'll wear red weskits, drink raw gin,
Old usquebaugh I'll paiddle in,
Or drink it till I'm fou to chin,
But this I'll swear,
That Gowfs a game I canna win,
And dinna care.
Thanks for your buik, I'll try to read
And get the slangie i' my heid,
Then I can talk some gowfer deid;
He'll never know
The awfu' crimes in me that breed
'Gainst that damned Pro.
Geo. David Stewart, M. D.