ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
RUBY: WRITTEN INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Why did Amy and Laurie react differently to The Wave? Refer to concepts such as
equality and individualism in your response.
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
RUBY: WRITTEN INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Why did Amy and Laurie react differently to The Wave? Refer to
concepts such as equality and individualism in your response.
Like many teenagers, Amy and Laurie wanted to have the feeling of
belonging, whether to a small friendship group or to an organisation consisting
of hundreds of students. However, when The Wave formed during one of Mr
Ross’s History lessons, there were mixed emotions on whether to belong or
refuse to join this group
In fact this was the case, when two best friends Amy and Laurie reacted
differently to the news about the club.
Laurie refuse to join the club and was really disturbed about the Nazi movie,
they watched in the History class (pg 16) and believed that if people took the
Wave to seriously the events that happened in World War two may soon be
repeated.
Slogans “Strength through Discipline”, “strength through community” and,
“strength through action”, were constantly being chanted throughout each
lesson. Quite often Laurie would join in, but towards the end, seeing how her
fellow class mates were being hypnotized, ‘sat uncomfortably in her chair” (pg
37), and listened.
Amy was one of the students who was being manipulated and hypnotized into
believing that the wave experiment made all the members act as one, and to
be equal, no matter what the colour of their skin was or their back whether
Jewish, Indian or American.
Laurie prefered to be an individual, than be brainwashed, (and others belived
this too even though it was too late.)
Furthermore Amy, still didn’t believe or take her friends advice, on leaving,
turning her back on the wave, so got caught in all the trouble that the wave
caused.
Boy got bashed up, monitors to prove that you were against or for the wave.
Laurie getting hurt.
Conclusion:
In addition Laurie and Amy reacted very differently to the wave and their
friendship suffered because of this. Laurie saw what was happening to her
friends and fellow school mates and tried to persuade them to leave. Amy as
mentioned before was stubborn and refused to leave as she felt like she
belonged and was equal to everybody else.
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
RUBY: WRITTEN INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Language
Genre:
Key features and examples
level of scaffolding
Language
for
achieving
different
purposes
schematic structure
organises the text:
• rhetorical questions: What are the best strategies?
• conjunctions: First, Next, Finally, In addition
• noun group in place of conjunctions: Another reason,
One of the main arguments, The principle cause of the
increase
• phrases and dependent clauses of cause: As a result
of the rain, Struggling to survive, Despite his poor
health
• phrases and dependent clauses of time, place,
manner: Born in 1898, When we had finished, With
great care
• non-finite clauses: Selecting a topic
• topic words: Antarctica, Pollution
• action verbs (in procedures): Slice, Boil
• existential subject to introduce new information: There
• interpersonal elements: Personally, Obviously, In fact,
It is apparent
• layout: subheadings, diagrams, pictures
builds cohesion:
• reference items: my, it, they, him, the, this, these, all of
the above, such examples
• vocabulary patterns
- synonyms / antonyms
- words that go together: lodge complaint
- word sets: gene, inherit, hereditary, dominant,
recessive
- classification: teeth - canines, molars, premolars,
incisors
- composition (whole-part): tooth - enamel, dentine,
pulp, nerve
• conjunctions to join sentences: Next, So, Therefore,
Hence, Conversely
joins clauses to expand information:
• linking conjunctions: and, or, so, and then
• binding conjunctions: because, if, since, when, so / so
that, whenever, though
• relative clauses: The Suez Canal, which was
completed in 1869, …
• non-finite clauses: The team, having seen the results,
felt…, Having seen the results, the team…, To
improve the final product…
• projections: Scientists claim that exercise prolongs life.
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
• independently written following class discussions
of novel and activities related to task and genre
12
• introduction, five paragraphs compare how the
two students reacted, conclusion
• conjunctions: In fact, Furthermore, In addition
• time, place, manner: Like many teenagers
• topic words: Laurie, Amy, Slogans
• reference items: many, the, one, this group, this,
the case, they, people, the events, each, her, one
of the students, all the members, their, it, her,
you, their friendship, them, she, everybody else
• vocabulary patterns
- synonyms / antonyms: The Wave/the club,
hypnotized/manipulated/brainwashed,
join/leave/turning her back on, for/against,
friends/fellow school mates, equal/individual
- word sets: teenagers, belonging, friendship,
students, group, best friends, club, students,
History lessons, class, lesson, class mates,
school mates
- classification: friends – best friends, fellow
school mates, friendship group, slogans –
Strength through Discipline, strength through
community, strength through action,
back(ground) – Jewish, Indian, American
• conjunctions: However
• linking: and, or, but, so
• binding: whether, when, if, than, even though, as,
like
• non-finite clauses: consisting of hundreds of
students, whether to belong or refuse to join,
seeing how her fellow class mates were being
hypnotized, turning her back on the wave
• projections: Laurie… believed that if people took
the Wave to(o) seriously … may soon be
repeated, she felt like she belonged, Amy
was…hypnotized into believing that the wave
experiment made all the members act as one
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
RUBY: WRITTEN INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Language
Field:
Language for
expressing
ideas and
Key features and examples
noun groups:
• numbers, describers, classifiers, qualifiers:
television, a book, the pencil, all day, the children in
the water, the children living in the city, The medical
discovery that has had the most impact
experiences
comparatives:
• funnier, slower, more beautiful, best
nominalisations:
• likelihood, growth, development, beauty, risk,
government, capability, potential
verbs:
• action: subtract, peered, scanned, demolish
• mental (sensing): knew, believe, understood,
enjoyed, hated
• saying: said, laughed, shouted, stated, asserted
• relational: are, became, has, consists of, represents,
means
• verbal groups: wanted to improve, tried estimating
• phrasal verbs: fell in with the wrong crowd, look it
up, put up with, put off, put out
causal relations:
• verbs: led to, brought on
• nouns: the result of the floods, the cause of the
injury
• phrases: because of the heat, in spite of the rain
• dependent clauses: because the weather was bad,
owing to the cyclone threat, if the cyclone hits, in
order to end the suffering
circumstances and clauses:
• when: in 1614, when he arrived
• where: at the sign, standing on stage
• how: carefully, with great care, like a leopard
• with whom / what: with his friend, with their
belongings
metaphors:
• get it off your chest
technical vocabulary:
• digest, high sugar levels, niacin
quoting and referencing:
• direct speech: The police officer said, “There were
no injuries.”
• reported speech: The manager of the team said that
they were…
• referencing: Scientists believe that…, According to
the weather bureau…, Studies have shown…
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
• The feeling of belonging, a small friendship group,
an organization consisting of hundreds of
students, one of Mr Ross’s History lessons, the
news about the club, the Nazi movie, they
watched in the History class (the Nazi movie they
watched in the history class), the events that
happened in World War two, one of the students
who was being manipulated…American, the wave
experiment, the colour of their skin, her friends
and fellow school mates, all the trouble that the
wave caused
12 / 13
• feeling, belonging, friendship, organization,
emotions, the case, discipline, community, action,
individual, leaving
• action: join, repeated, sat, made, act, leave
• mental (sensing): wanted, belong, refuse,
disturbed, watched, believed, seeing, listened,
hypnotize (=preferred), prove, suffered, felt
• saying: chanted, mentioned
• relational: have, formed, were, was, happened, to
be, caused, belonged
• verbal groups: tried to persuade, refused to leave
• phrasal verbs: consisting of, reacted to, took …
to(o) seriously, join in, take … advice, turning her
back on, got caught (up) in, got bashed up,
•
•
•
•
verbs: reacted, caused
nouns: the trouble
phrases: because of this
dependent clauses: if people took the Wave to(o)
seriously, seeing how her fellow class mates were
being hypnotised, as she felt like she belonged
• when: when the Wave formed, during one of Mr
Ross’s History lessons, when two best friends
Amy and Laurie reacted, in World War two, soon,
throughout each lesson, Quite often, towards the
end, too late, still, before
• where: to a small friendship group or to an
organisation consisting of hundreds of students, in
the History class, in her chair
• how: Like many teenagers, differently, to(o)
seriously, through Discipline, through community,
through action, constantly, uncomfortably, as one,
no matter what the colour of their skin was, very
differently, like she belonged and was equal to
everybody else
• about what: on whether to belong or refuse to join,
about the club, about the Nazi movie
• turning her back on, got caught (up) in, their
friendship suffered
• The Wave, experiment, members, slogans,
brainwashed
• referencing: slogans and quotes from the novel,
referenced by page number: “sat uncomfortably in
her chair” (pg 37)
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
RUBY: WRITTEN INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Language
Tenor:
Language for
interacting
with others
Key features and examples
speech functions:
• statements, questions, offers, commands
subjectivity / objectivity:
• subjective: In my opinion
• objective: The response of the prime minister
modality:
• certainty: possibly, it suggests, tend to, might be
able to, I am sure, will
• obligation: necessarily, must, demand, they forced
• frequency: tendency, typical, always
• inclination: like, willing, preference
interpersonal meaning:
• feelings, attitudes: It’s beautiful, very, rude, just,
only, luckily, unfortunately, importance, outstanding
• idioms, colloquialisms, euphemisms, humour
• culturally specific references: dressed in black
• names to refer to people
appropriateness of tenor
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
• statements expressed in compound and complex
sentences
Scale
12
• objective: there were mixed emotions on whether
to belong or refuse to join this group
•
•
•
•
certainty: believed, may, whether to ... or ...
obligation: tried to persuade, refused
frequency: soon, constantly, quite often, still
inclination: wanted, preferred, felt
• feelings, attitudes: belonging, friendship, mixed
emotions, disturbed, to(o) seriously, strength,
discipline, hypnotised, manipulated, equal,
preferred, individual, brainwashed, trouble,
suffered, stubborn, felt
• idioms, colloquialisms, euphemisms, humour: took
… to(o) seriously, no matter, turning her back on,
got caught (up) in, got bashed up
• cultural references: The Wave, the Nazi movie, the
events that happened in World War two
• names: Amy, Laurie, Mr Ross
• appropriately objective and formal tenor is
maintained throughout the text although the essay
question is not answered
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Senior Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
RUBY: WRITTEN INTERPRETATION (COMPARATIVE ESSAY)
Language
Mode:
Language for
creating
Key features and examples
tenses:
• primary: past, present, future
• secondary: other tenses eg was sleeping, wanted
to go, haven’t played, was going to have to play
spoken and
written texts
passive voice:
• active: The heavy rainfall led to some minor
flooding.
• passive: Minor flooding was caused by the heavy
rain.
foregrounding:
• referencing: According to the statistics, As shown
in the data
• abstract elements: The destruction of the habitat
• conjunctions including those in second place:
Success, on the other hand, …
• phrases and dependent clauses of cause
• phrases and dependent clauses of time, place,
manner including consecutive phrases of time,
place: In Canberra in 1975
• non-finite clauses
• non-human elements: The lathe, Koalas
• human elements: specific We, general People
• action verbs: Draw
• existential subject to introduce new information
• interpersonal elements
appropriateness of foregrounding
coherence:
• introduction, topic sentences and conclusion, and
the links between them
print conventions:
• handwriting: letter formation, spacing, direction
• spelling: link to pronunciation and visual patterns,
spelling common and uncommon words, using
prefixes and suffixes
• punctuation: capitals, fullstops, question marks,
commas, speech marks, apostrophes, semicolons,
dashes, links to intonation
nd
• abbreviations: cm, 2 , eg
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
• primary
- present: act
- past: wanted, formed, were, was, reacted,
refuse(d), watched, believed, took, happened,
listened, hypnotized, made, prefer(r)ed,
believed, suffered, saw, tried, mentioned, felt,
belonged
• secondary
- accurate: were being chanted, would join in,
were being hypnotised, was being manipulated,
got caught, was happening
- inaccurate: may be repeated (would / could be
repeated)
12
• passive: was disturbed, be repeated, were being
chanted, were being hypnotised, be brainwashed,
was being manipulated, got caught
• conjunctions: Amy as mentioned before
• time, place, manner: Like many teenagers;
However, when The Wave formed
• non-human: (The) Slogans
• human: Laurie, Amy
• foregrounding of human elements and
expressions of comparison is appropriate for text
and effective for the construction of passive voice
• introduction effectively foregrounds the topic of
discussion, topic sentences are not present in
body of essay, conclusion effectively summarises
the information presented
• handwriting: legible
• spelling: some errors: belived, prefered
• punctuation: capitals, full stops, commas for lists,
commas after some conjunctions and after
foregrounded phrase of manner, speech marks for
quotes, difficulties with punctuation of compound
and complex sentences evident
multimedia / multimodal:
• links between gestures, visual images, sound,
light, layout, tables, spoken text and print text
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