Writing
Workshop 6
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
SUGGESTED LEARNING STRATEGIES: Quickwrite, Marking the Text,
Graphic Organizer, Think-Pair-Share, Brainstorming, Webbing, Outlining,
Think Aloud, Drafting, Sharing and Responding
Focus:
The purpose of an expository essay is for the writer to communicate ideas and
information about a topic to specific audiences for specific purposes. Expository
essays are sometimes written to define or describe a subject in great detail.
Goal:
Write a multi-paragraph expository essay that:
• Presents effective introductions and concluding paragraphs.
• Contains a clearly stated purpose or controlling idea.
• Is logically organized with appropriate facts and details.
• Includes no extraneous information or inconsistencies.
• Accurately synthesizes ideas from several sources.
• Uses a variety of rhetorical devices.
• Uses a variety of sentence structures.
• Uses a variety of transitions to link paragraphs.
Activity 1: Discovering Elements of a Multi-Paragraph
Definition Essay
1. Quickwrite: What do you know about expository writing? How would a definition
essay fit in the expository writing genre?
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To achieve this goal, you will practice writing in the expository mode of definition.
You will engage in a series of activities in which you work with your teacher and with
your classmates to construct two model definition essays. You will use these models
to write your own definition essay.
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Sample Text
Read the following essay, and determine the stated purpose or controlling idea. Mark
the text to locate supporting information (facts and details).
The
Everyday
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
Hook A hero: A man noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, one who has risked
or sacrificed his life. This is what comes to mind when one hears the word hero, but a true
hero is much more. A hero is not a man in cape and tights. A hero is made by what he
Thesis Statement
does, the example he sets for society, and even what he is not.
A hero puts others’ needs before his own. For example, Ana, a woman fighting cancer,
Topic
makes “everyone feel that things are going to be okay.” When Ana is diagnosed with Concrete
cancer for the second time, she feels as though she could never win and like nothing is Detail
going to help her this time. But instead of whining about it and giving up, she comforts
the people around her, making sure that they are positive, even if she is not. Ana doesn’t
Commentary care if she is feeling bad, or if she wants to surrender. She puts her feelings aside and keeps
moving forward because she knows that the people around her love her and need to know Concrete
that she is going to survive. Marlin, from Finding Nemo, is another example of a selfless
Detail
hero. He was terrified of the ocean, but when his son, Nemo, got taken, he let go of that
fear in order to save Nemo. He put aside his feelings for his overpowering love for Nemo.
This shows Marlin is heroic because instead of staying at home and waiting for someone
else to fix his mess, he goes on an adventure despite his fear and anxiety. To be a hero, one Concluding
must put the needs of others before their own, especially when faced with challenges.
Sentence
Another example of a hero is the character Mulan, from the movie Mulan, who is
a hero because she is strong enough to face her many challenges and strong enough to
overcome her imperfection. One substantial challenge that Mulan deals with, is having to
save China in the war against the Huns. Not only does she do that, but she has to do it as
a woman, which goes against her culture’s expectations of a woman’s duty. Against all the
odds and despite people’s rejection, Mulan manages to save China and bring honor to her
family. By doing this, Mulan proves herself to be a hero because she stands up for what
she believes in and puts the safety of the people of China before her own. When Mulan
faces the challenges put in her path, she sometimes triumphs, but sometimes she does not.
Mulan is a hero, not only because of her conquests, but also because of how she faces her
inadequacies. Mulan pretends to be a man, which brings dishonor to her family. However,
by surmounting that challenge, and turning it around to save China as a woman, she
renews her family’s honor and proves herself. Mulan’s determination to save her people
and persevere through difficulties makes her a hero.
Heroes are not followers. Heroes are leaders. For example, in the story of Harrison
Bergeron, from the story “Harrison Bergeron,” Harrison does not let the government limit
his potential, and he doesn’t want others to be limited either. By fighting against the unfair
equality laws that were set in place by the government, Harrison is a hero. He stands
up for what is right even though people are telling him it is wrong, and he leads people
in a fight against the laws that put masks on the beautiful and weights on the strong.
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
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Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
Harrison is a hero because he doesn’t follow others down the wrong path, just because it
was expected. Another hero who did not follow along with what was expected was Mercy
Carter, from the book The Ransom of Mercy Carter. Mercy was kidnapped along with
her entire village by a group of French-Indians. Instead of dwelling on the past after her
kidnapping, like many of her friends and elders, Mercy decided that she needed to accept
what had been thrown her way and move on with her life. By refusing to follow along with
all of the grief and despair expected of her by her people, Mercy got a chance to start over
and a chance to lead people in a new life of acceptance and understanding with the natives
who kidnapped them. Without her leadership, the people of her village would have never
been able to forgive so they could move on. They would be stuck, but Mercy pulled them
out of that so that they could be happy. Heroes have to step back from the expectations
of their culture and decide what is truly right, so that they can lead people away from
following the wrong path.
To find what heroes truly are, one has to stretch beyond the stereotype to look at the
everyday hero. Anyone can be a hero. Heroes will put others before themselves and set
examples for the rest of us to follow. They are leaders.
2. Number each paragraph of the sample text above to help you analyze the
organizational structure of the essay. Work with a partner to discuss the purpose
of each paragraph, and note your thoughts in the margin.
3. Create a graphic organizer of the components and characteristics of a multiparagraph definition essay. This organizer will serve as a model for you during
the writing process as you generate and refine your own essay.
Prompt: Think about a time when you played a game and lost. How did you react to
the other player(s)? What about a time when you won? How did you react when you
were victorious? Think about the emotions you have when competing. Write a multiparagraph essay that defines the concept of good sportsmanship. Be sure the essay
meets the requirements listed in the goal statement for writing an effective multiparagraph expository essay.
1. Mark the writing prompt above to clarify the task.
2. With your class, choose a topic for the essay, and write it here.
Prewriting
3. Write notes here about ideas for the essay.
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Activity 2: Writing a Class Essay
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
4. In addition to your initial prewriting brainstorming, look at the resources your
teacher has provided about the topic. What examples and definitions can you
gather from these resources that will be helpful in writing a definition essay? Are
there experts you could consult?
5. To create an effective draft of your definition essay, you will need a thesis to
provide focus for the essay. A thesis is not the title of the essay (e.g., Computers)
or an announcement of the subject to the reader (e.g., In this essay, I will tell you
about computers…). A thesis consists of a subject and the writer’s opinion about
that subject. Generate a one-sentence working thesis statement that expresses
the point you will make about the subject of your essay.
Successful definition essays go beyond dictionary definitions to show the writer’s
personal opinion. To extend your definition of a concept or term, write using
definition strategies, such as the strategy of example and the strategy of negation.
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
• The function strategy is used to define what something does or how it works.
• The example strategy is used to show specific, relevant examples that fit the
writer’s definition. Examples often come from texts, history, or everyday life.
• The negation strategy is used to explain what something is by showing what it is
not. Using negation helps to contrast your definition with others’ definitions.
Drafting the Essay
A body paragraph consists of these elements:
• Topic sentence: A sentence which consists of a subject and opinion that works
directly to support the thesis.
• Transitions: Words used to connect ideas (e.g., for example, for instance).
• Supporting information: Specific facts and details that are appropriate for the
topic, are relevant, and come from a variety of sources. Extraneous details should
not be included, and the supporting information should not have inconsistencies.
• Reflective commentary: Sentences that explain how the information is relevant
to the thesis/topic sentence and bring a sense of closure to the paragraph.
6. With your class, generate an outline for the body paragraphs. Then draft the body
paragraphs on separate paper.
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
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Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
7. Now that you have co-constructed a thesis statement and body paragraphs, you
are ready to create the introduction and conclusion of the essay.
Introduction paragraphs include the following:
• A hook or lead: Consider using a quote, question, anecdote, or statement of
intrigue to create your hook or lead.
• A connection between the hook/lead and the thesis.
• Thesis statement describing the subject and opinion.
The conclusion brings a sense of closure to the essay. Use the following levels of
questions to guide your thinking in crafting a conclusion:
• What did you say? (literal)
• What does it mean? (interpretive)
• Why does it matter? (universal)
Revising
8. Now that the class essay has been drafted, consider the language you used
to convey your ideas. A writer makes stylistic choices in language for effect,
variety, and coherence. Evaluate your draft, and revise your essay to address the
following rhetorical devices and stylistic elements.
• Parallelism is using the same structure for similar parts of a sentence. Use
parallelism to add balance, rhythm, and clarity to a sentence. Examples: He often
listened to music and danced in his seat while riding in the car. (parallel verbs)
The backpack held three books, two folders, and one snack. (parallel objects)
• An analogy compares two things and expresses the relationship between them.
Use an analogy to explain or clarify an idea or object. Example: My need to use a
computer is like my need for food and water.
• A rhetorical question is one for which the writer expects no reply, or the writer
clearly directs the reader to one desired reply. Use rhetorical questions to
emphasize an idea or to draw a conclusion to the facts. A rhetorical question may
help remind your reader of a main point. Example: Is that truly what we want for
the environment? How can these facts lie?
Another stylistic choice is the use of sentence variety. Inserting word groups, such
as appositives or appositive phrases, into sentences adds variety to your sentence
structure. An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that renames another noun in a
sentence. Notice that appositives and appositive phrases are set off by commas.
Our teacher, Ms. Greig, is out sick today.
Heroes, ones who act selflessly, are found all around us.
Mika studies biology, the science of life or living matter.
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Rhetorical devices show ideas in interesting ways and help your ideas have a lasting
effect on your reader. Examples of rhetorical devices are parallelism, analogy, and
rhetorical questions. Incorporate rhetorical devices into the class essay.
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Coherence refers to the logical organization of the essay and how the ideas are tied
together to flow smoothly, making the essay easy to follow for the reader. Two ways
to revise for coherence are to use transitional words within and between paragraphs
and to use varied sentence structures.
Transitional words help you move from one sentence or thought to another.
• Transitions that add information: again, also, additionally, in addition, for
example, for instance, likewise, finally, equally important
• Transitions that clarify: in other words, for instance, that is, put another way
• Transitions that conclude: as a result, therefore, finally, last, in conclusion, in
summary
9. Reflection: What additional support do you need in writing a definition essay?
Activity 3: Writing an Essay with Peers
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
Prompt: Think about your favorite meals, perhaps meals that are traditional to your
family or to a particular holiday. Do certain foods make you feel good? Write a multiparagraph essay that defines the concept of comfort food. Be sure the essay meets
the requirements listed in the goal statement for writing an effective expository
essay.
Generating Content
1. In your writing group, review and mark the prompt to highlight major elements of
the task you’re being asked to do. Use a prewriting strategy to explore ideas that
may address the prompt.
2. Select the best ideas from your prewriting to construct a working thesis for your
essay.
Drafting
3. Review and organize the ideas from your prewriting as you draft at least two
body paragraphs. Use an outline to organize the ideas in your body paragraphs.
Be sure to brainstorm topic sentences that support the thesis and specific details
and facts to develop and support the topic sentences. Synthesize ideas from
several sources. Avoid extraneous information and inconsistencies. Draft your
body paragraphs, and include commentary.
4. Read your body paragraphs, and discuss an effective way to introduce and
conclude your key ideas. Use a prewriting strategy to generate a draft that
demonstrates the parts of effective introductions (e.g., hook/lead, connection,
and thesis) and conclusions (response to the levels of questions).
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
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Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
Revising
5. Reread the goal statement at the beginning of this workshop. Use the bullet
points as a writer’s checklist. Read aloud your draft in your writing group, and
gather feedback based on the criteria of an effective expository definition essay.
6. Review your draft for language use.
• Select ideas to emphasize by incorporating appropriate rhetorical devices,
such as parallelism, analogy, and rhetorical questions.
• If your draft contains too many simple sentences, revise sentences that could
be expanded for clarity or description. Include a variety of sentence structures
to add interest.
• Revise at least two sentences to include an appositive or appositive phrase.
7. Review your draft for coherence:
• Discuss which transitions can be used to link ideas effectively within and
between your body paragraphs. Incorporate at least two into your draft.
Editing for Publication
8. Read your draft and peer edit to correct errors in grammar, punctuation, and
spelling.
9. Discuss the key ideas present in your essay, and generate a list of potentially
creative titles for your essay. Rank them and select one. Place a title at the top of
your essay.
Prompt: Think about the people you consider as your friends. What makes someone
a friend? How do you demonstrate being a friend? Write a multi-paragraph essay that
defines the concept of friendship. Be sure the essay meets the requirements listed in
the goal statement for writing an effective multi-paragraph expository essay.
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Activity 4: Independent Writing
Writing Workshop 6
Expository Writing
SCORING GUIDE
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
Scoring Criteria
Exemplary
Proficient
Emerging
Development of
Ideas
The essay
• presents a topic with a
clearly stated and insightful
controlling idea
• uses strategies of definition
(e.g., function, example,
negation) to effectively
develop ideas throughout the
essay
• supports topic with specific
and relevant facts, evidence,
details, and examples to
guide understanding of main
ideas
• synthesizes ideas accurately
from several sources to
strengthen support.
The essay
• presents a topic with a
controlling idea
• uses strategies of definition
(e.g., function, example,
negation) to develop ideas
throughout the essay
• supports topic with facts,
evidence, details, and
examples that guide the
reader’s understanding of the
main ideas
• combines ideas accurately
from several sources.
The essay
• presents a topic with an
unfocused controlling idea
• uses few strategies of
definition (e.g., function,
example, negation) to
develop ideas
• contains insufficient or
vague facts, evidence,
details, and examples in
an underdeveloped topic
that confuses the reader’s
understanding of the main
ideas
• synthesizes ideas
inaccurately and/or from
limited sources.
Organizational
Structure
The essay
• leads with an effective,
engaging introduction
• effectively sequences
ideas and uses meaningful
transitions to create cohesion
and clarify the relationship
among ideas
• provides an insightful
conclusion that follows from
and supports the explanation
presented.
The essay
• presents a clear and focused
introduction
• sequences ideas and
uses transitions to create
coherence
• provides a conclusion that
connects the larger ideas
presented in the essay.
The essay
• contains an underdeveloped
and/or unfocused
introduction
• presents disconnected ideas
and limited use of transitions
• contains an underdeveloped
or unfocused conclusion.
Use of
Language
The essay
• uses precise diction
deliberately chosen to inform
or explain the topic
• uses a variety of sentence
structures to enhance the
explanation (e.g., using
appositives)
• utilizes a variety of rhetorical
devices to enhance
explanation
• demonstrates technical
command of conventions of
standard English.
The essay
• uses appropriate diction
for the information or
explanation
• uses a variety of sentence
structures (e.g., using
appositives)
• uses rhetorical devices
• demonstrates general
command of conventions;
minor errors in punctuation,
grammar, capitalization, or
spelling do not interfere with
meaning.
The essay
• uses diction that is
inappropriate at times for the
information or explanation
• shows little or no variety
in sentence structure (e.g.,
using appositives)
• uses few or no rhetorical
devices
• demonstrates limited
command of conventions;
errors in grammar,
punctuation, capitalization,
or spelling interfere with
meaning.
Writing Process
The essay reflects thoughtful
planning, significant revision,
and editing to produce a draft
ready for publication.
The essay reflects evidence of
planning, revision, and editing
to produce a draft ready for
publication.
The essay demonstrates
minimal evidence of planning,
revision, and editing and is not
ready for publication.
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
50a