RIGA GRADUATE SCHOOL OF LAW

RIGA GRADUATE SCHOOL OF
LAW
PROFESSIONAL LEGAL WRITING: PRINCIPLES AND
PRACTICE
COURSEBOOK
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Professional Legal Writing: Principles and Practice
Effective legal writing, as an essential ingredient to being a
complete lawyer, is arguably the principal means by which
legal skills are measured. In particular, legal writing should
clearly demonstrate the means by which conclusions are
reached, rather than being a mere summary of conclusions.
Moreover, terminology should be kept to a minimum but,
when used, should be used correctly.
Course aim: to improve professional communication skills.
Course objective: to introduce elements of professional legal
writing.
Course content will be a mixture of theory and practical exercises
Texts: a variety of legal texts are used for course exercises and
tasks, e.g., emails, contracts, due diligence, court reports, press
reports, EU directive, ECJ decision.
Tasks involve professional skills such as advising, persuading, and
informing. Students prepare tasks in-class and then choose one task
to deliver for grading.
Skills: The course involves mainly reading, writing, analytical and
organizational skills.
Methodology: the course begins with a seminar dealing with
theoretical aspects of legal writing, followed by a series of interactive
workshops. These will be based on case studies in which participants
will have the opportunity for guided practice in legal writing in
realistic contexts.
Course requirements and grading: to pass the course, students
must attend 80% seminars + deliver one completed writing task (see
above “Tasks”).
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CONTENTS
I. DEFINING EFFECTIVE LEGAL WRITING.................... 4
Legal language: functions, features; varieties, and
characteristics of legal writing. TASK: linguistic
analysis of newsletter on European tax law
II. LEGAL WRITING: BASIC PRINCIPLES ................ 122
Overview: categories and styles of legal writing;
aspects of writing in cross-cultural contexts. TASK:
create newsletter item from EU directive
III. WRITING CORRECTLY: GRAMMAR AS A VITAL
TOOL FOR LAWYERS. ................................................. 18
Functions of grammar in legal English.
Problem Areas: legal prepositions; modals to express
intention in legal text (e.g.may vs is entitled to);
conditionals; verb structures and tenses; relative
clauses; recommendations and suggestions. TASK:
linguistic analysis of online banking contract.
IV. WRITING EFFECTIVELY: ORGANIZING
STRUCTURE OF TEXT ............................................... 300
Effective writing: ingredients; developing your
argument in structured paragraphs; paragraph
organization; sentence structure. TASK: linguistic
analysis of scaffolding hire contract.
V. WRITING COHESIVELY: GUIDING THE READER;
LINKING IDEAS ......................................................... 39
Language as a connector/commas as connectors; text
coherence; linking word sentence position; adverbial
linking words; playing with paragraphs. TASK:
linguistic analysis of draft contract for services.
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VI. WRITING CLEARLY ............................................. 54
Accuracy; punctuation; summarizing text. TASK:
summary report on ECJ judgment.
VII. WRITING WITH PROFESSIONAL STYLE:
TECHNIQUES FOR LAWYERS ...................................... 66
Avoiding
unnecessary
words;
avoiding
wordy
expressions; plain English for lawyers; formality;
techniques for revising and editing. FURTHER TASKS:
edit mails; test your vocabulary skills.
Sources ...................................................................... 87
Appendix: notes on EMAILS
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I. INTRODUCTION: DEFINING EFFECTIVE LEGAL WRITING
“They would rather be accurate than clear. They would sooner be long than
short” – Lord Denning on lawyers, 1978.
LEGAL LANGUAGE:
FUNCTIONS, FEATURES, VARIETIES, CHARACTERISTICS
Functions of legal language
-
to establish rights and obligations
-
to distribute information
-
to enable communication within the legal profession
Universal features of legal language

extreme precision

obscurity, ambiguity

archaism (structures and vocabulary)

formalism, ritualism and ceremonialism

wordiness and redundancy

lengthy and complex sentences (embeddings)

impersonal constructions (passive)

terms of art, technical terminology
VARIETIES OF LEGAL WRITING
One suggestion as to varieties of legal writing is:
1) Academic Legal Writing: the language of academic research journals as
well as that of legal text-books (instructional or informational orientation)
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2) Juridical Writing: the language of court-judgements, case-books and law
reports (where one may find traces of legislative writing)
3) Legislative Writing: typical legal documents like Acts of Parliament,
statutory instruments, contracts, agreements, treaties, etc., where the main
function is to legislate by creating a unique world of obligations, permissions
and prohibitions.
(Bhatia)
We can develop this further by seeing legal language in professional settings:
legislative language, statutory language
language of statutes, conventions, treaties, language of legal drafting
language of jurisprudence, courtroom language
language used by courts and judges, court decisions, judg(e)ments
language of litigation
language used by lawyers (UK: barristers) in court
bureaucratic language, administrative language
language of administrative documents
language of legal doctrine
academic writing, language of legal textbooks
language of private legal documents
contracts, insurance policy, testament language etc.
language of international organizations?
Language of international or multilingual organisations, “EU language”,
“eurospeak”
lawyer-client communication
consultations, putting client’s concrete situation in legal context
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CHARACTERISTICS OF LEGAL ENGLISH
(Mellinkoff. D., 1963 The Language of the Law):
1. common words with specialist meaning
executed meaning signed and delivered/performed, carried out/
killed as a punishment
party meaning person contracting or litigating
2. old or middle English words
thenceforth
notwithstanding
3. Latin words and phrases
ultra vires
in propria persona
4. words of French origin
damage
mortgage
5. terms of art (technical terms, often Latinisms)
comparative negligence
negotiable instrument
6. argot (jargon)
for the duration of (= during)
in the event that (= if)
7. formal words
I do solemnly swear to tell the Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth
8. words and expressions with flexible meaning (euphemisms)
fair division
undue influence
reasonable man
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good faith
9. extreme precision
10.
Examples
many words where one will do (Old Engish/Latin/Law French)
rest, residue and remainder
Will and Testament
final and conclusive fit and proper
give, devise, and bequeath
null and void/null, void, and of no effect
Act and Deed
WHY LEGAL ENGLISH IS THE WAY IT IS
Historical reasons



development of legal and administrative system and characteristics of
the power elite (Latin/Roman influence, Norman conquest, French
influence)
doubling and tripling (e.g., null, void, and of no effect)
retention of foreign elements (latinisms, frenchisms)
Jurisprudential factors


common law: precedent and case law (the law is determined by
reference to earlier judgments)
legal terms fixed in earlier judgments
Sociological factors


lawyers’ need to conform to and identify with other members of the
profession, professional peer pressure (”talking and writing like a
lawyer”)
lawyers’ need to be “indispensable”
Political factors



euphemisms (”visually challenged”)
need for precision/ambiguity (treaties, agreements)
administrative
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“We lawyers cannot write clear English. We use eight words to say what
could be said in two. We use old, archaic phrases to express
commonplace ideas. Seeking to be precise, we become redundant.
Seeking to be cautious, we become verbose. Our sentences twist on,
phrase within clause within clause, glazing the eyes and numbing the
minds of our readers.”
Richard Wydick
Characteristics of good legal writing
Here is one group of suggested characteristics, or traits, of good legal writing.
This is not intended to be definitive, especially as the borderline between
legal and business writing is not always clear.
Conciseness: write the message in as few words as possible
Completeness: ensure that all information needed by the reader to
respond or act is included
Courtesy: show consideration for the reader
Clarity: write clearly
Correctness: check for accuracy of all statements and details
And here is another list of characteristics:
Accurate (grounded in law)
analytical
Relevant
organized
Thorough
Specific and concrete
Logical
Correct (grammar, punctuation, usage)
Persuasive
Clear
Next: Punctuate the following sentence as you think appropriate:
“ To communicate effectively you must know three things your audience your
purpose and your material”
Answers 1
ASSESSING WRITING SKILLS
EXERCISE
A. Highlight the appropriate word choice in the following sentences:
1. The EU is comprised of/composed of sovereign states.
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2. Regulations compliment/complement statutes by implementing them.
3. The EU has been moving further/farther eastwards.
4. The advocate’s task is to persuade/convince the court to accept that a
particular line of argumentation makes sense.
5. The principle/principal documents on which the EU is founded include the
Treaty of Rome.
B. The four sentences below contain common errors of grammar and
spelling. Can you correct them?
1. The complexity of our laws make interpretation difficult.
2. The government may change at the next election, however, the
employment law is likely to remain the same.
3. Good communication skills can help lawyers affect change.
4. Regulations under the statute fail because they are inconsistent,
incomplete and implementation and enforcement are not reliable.
Answers 2
GUIDELINES FOR BETTER LEGAL WRITING

match the function and the style of the text according to the reader

avoid long and embedded sentences

avoid complex structures

use active instead of passive, if possible

avoid double negatives, exceptions to exceptions

avoid unnecessary synonym pairs (null and void)
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
use technical legal terms only when necessary, avoid jargon

avoid Latin and foreign words if possible
A MODEL OF THE WRITING PROCESS:
OVERVIEW
1. Prewriting:
Clarify objectives
Define reader
Establish scope
2. Information:
Collect information
Tailor it to your audience
3. Organization:
Determine organizational pattern, paragraph topics
Compare it to the objective, reader and information
4. Drafting:
Put information into sentence form
Put paragraphs into organizational pattern
5. Revision:
Revise globally in terms of objectives, information and
organization.
Revise locally (one sentence at a time) for conciseness,
coherence, clarity and correctness.
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TASK: European Tax Law
DOCUMENT FILE I
Complete the Introduction to the text by adding the verbs:
would be
seeking
examines
published
changed
maintaining
is
has been
concluding
hint at
Next, in Background, what function do the verbs perform?
Find synonyms or antonyms for these.
Third, under Purpose, find two phrases that can be rewritten
as verbs. Then find all the verbs in this short piece: what
function do they perform?
Fourth, read the text under Generally, then replace Generally
with a more suitable title. Explain why the new title is more
suitable.
Fifth, under Full Harmonisation, mark the key words in the
text.
Sixth, under Tax Base Harmonisation, mark the words that
make the text more analytical.
Next, under Exchange of Savings Information, mark the key
words and analytical words. Can you suggest ways to
improve the text?
Under Conclusion, what function do the words marked
perform?
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II. LEGAL WRITING: BASIC PRINCIPLES
“Uncritical use of words bedevils the law” – Justice Frankfurter, 18821965
FOCUS: THINKING
List specific examples of legal writing skills.
Answers 3
Overview: Categories and styles of legal writing
In many legal settings specialized forms of written communication are required.
In many others writing is the medium in which lawyers must express their
analysis of an issue and seek to persuade others on their clients’ behalf. Any
legal document must be concise, clear and conform to the objective standards
that have evolved in the legal profession.
Can you improve this paragraph?
Answers 4
Explain the improvements
Answers 5
There are generally two types of legal writing. The first type requires a balanced
analysis of a legal problem or issue. Examples of the first type are inter-office
memoranda and letters to clients. To be effective in this form of writing, the
lawyer must be sensitive to the needs, level of interest and background of the
parties to whom it is addressed. A memorandum to a partner in the same firm
that detailed definitions of basic legal concepts would be inefficient and
annoying. In contrast, the absence of basic legal concepts from a letter to a
client with no legal background could serve to confuse and complicate a simple
situation.
Can you improve this paragraph?
Answers 6
Explain the improvements.
Answers 7
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The second type of legal writing is persuasive. Examples of this type are court
pleadings and negotiation letters written on a client’s behalf. The lawyer must
persuade their audience without provoking a hostile response through disrespect,
or by wasting the recipient’s time with unnecessary information. Moreover, in
presenting documents to a court or administrative agency a lawyer must conform
to the required document style.
The drafting of legal documents, such as contracts and wills, is yet another type
of legal writing. Guides are available to aid a lawyer in preparing the documents
but a unique application of the “form” to the facts of the situation is often
required. Poor drafting can lead to unnecessary litigation and otherwise injure
the interests of a client.
Finally, there are academic or journalistic texts. Case reports, which fall under
both descriptions, appear both in academic journals and in newsletters provided
by international law firms. But while the language of the first addresses an
audience of lawyers and academics, the language of the second addresses a
wider audience.
However, legal writing does not simply “happen”. It is important to remember
that it generally occurs as a result of or in conjunction with some other activity.
For example, at a meeting terms of an agreement are negotiated, and briefly
noted down; these notes, which themselves result from discussion, form the
basis for a formal, written document. That document is then sent as a draft for
approval to someone else, who reads and amends it before returning it to the
sender. The proposed amendments are then discussed by telephone, or by
email, and further changes may result to reflect the intention of the parties.
Correct use of language is vital to fulfil that intention. However, the desire to
avoid ambiguity often leads to use of too many words (e.g., to cover all possible
situations, products, and so on), over-long sentences and “lawyers’ jargon”. In
the result, many legal texts are understandable only to lawyers. On the other
hand, legal texts should be professional, and not too informal. Effective legal
writing both avoids unnecessary complexity and uses language that simplifies
and clarifies, while at the same time presenting a professional image.
Can you improve the last sentence?
Answers 8
Explain the improvements
Answers 9
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To conclude, some traps to avoid in legal writing, apart from simple linguistic
ones. Most importantly, it is important to realize that legal documents do not
exist in isolation, i.e., they exist against the background of a wider real, and
legal, world. This is especially true if you are operating in the international
context. So, here are some suggestions.
First, remember that a legal concept, or word, that exists in the legal system in
one country may not exist in others, or it may exist in a different form. Second,
different legal cultures have different approaches to drafting legal documents. In
some cases, drafters will include detail to cover every possible eventuality, while
in others details will be kept to a minimum, in the interests of “flexibility”. This
can lead to accusations of “unnecessary detail”, on the one hand and “cheating”,
on the other. Never accept a draft document on its face value – ask yourself,
not only whether what is included is in order, but also, what has been (or may
have been) excluded.
Thirdly, laws in any country may be subject to supranational legislation.
Fourthly, legal documents are not an exercise in “lawyer-speak” – their aim is
to fulfil the wishes of clients in a realistic and understandable way.
More on cross cultural matters later in this section.
Can you improve this sentence from the text?
Most importantly, it is important to realize that legal documents do not exist in
isolation, i.e., they exist against the background of a wider real, and legal, world.
Answers 10
Explain the improvements
Answers 11
PLAIN ENGLISH FOR LAWYERS
The Woolf report of 1999 was an attempt to make the English legal system
faster, cheaper and easier to understand. Similar reforms have been taking
place in the United States. The report can be found online at www.open.gov.uk .
The section that is most helpful to you appears in the civil procedure rules.
The report has had serious consequences for students of legal English, as it
renders the UK style significantly different from that used in the USA.
The central points to remember about the new UK style are these:
1. Avoid over-technical terms and over-complicated methods of expression.
Don’t say “aggregate” if you mean “total”. Don’t say “effectuate” if you mean
“do” or “sign”. Use plain English wherever possible rather than “legalese”.
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2. Where possible, eliminate Latin or any other foreign words where there is an
English alternative. A case is no longer heard “in camera” but “in private”.
Don’t act “bona fide” but “in good faith”.
3. Eliminate all archaic terms. Archaic means “old and no longer used”. When
drafting a contract, don’t say “heretofore” but “before this time”. Most
archaic terms such as “hereby” and “aforementioned” can just be deleted and
no alternative may be necessary.
4. Eliminate all legal pairs and triplets. Lawyers used them in the past to add
emphasis or to provide one word understandable by clients and another by
lawyers. However, this is now seen as using 2 or 3 words where 1 will do. A
clause containing the words “will not amend, vary or modify” is a typical legal
triplet – “will not change” is a good alternative.
However, you need to know both styles because in your career as an overseas
lawyer dealing with foreign documents you will use a variety of styles at this time
of transition.
Later sections develop these ideas in detail.
Can you improve these sentences from the text?
The Woolf report of 1999 was an attempt to make the English legal system
faster, cheaper and easier to understand.
The report has had serious consequences for students of legal English, as it
renders the UK style significantly different from that used in the USA.
Answers 12
Explain the improvements
Answers 13
Aspects of writing in cross –cultural contexts.
Several issues connect with reworking texts in an intercultural context – e.g.,
translations into English for a US audience from a Spanish text originally intended
for a South American audience.
In particular, differences of rhetoric may exist, e.g.:
 History and context
 Concrete versus abstract
 Universalism versus particularism
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History and Context
Many cultures (e.g., Spanish) place importance on including historical and
contextual information, whereas others (e.g., US) do not.
In what are termed high context cultures (e.g., Latin America), communicators
tend to depend heavily on the communication contexts for meaning (Hall, 1976;
Rosch and Segler, 1987). This can lead to inclusion of much concrete and
detailed contextual information that a mid- to low-context culture such as the US
would exclude.
In high-context cultures, social structures are the reference point for all
interaction, whereas in low-context cultures social reality is based on the
abstract, acontextual, and universal laws that go hand in hand with extreme
individualism. Put differently, in low-context cultures, the individual tends to be
the reference point for all interaction, along with abstracted values such as
equality, independence, constitutional rights, justice, laws, and social programs.
Inevitably, these cultural differences are reflected in text.
Particular and Abstract
Some cultures write in a particularist style (e.g., “termination of the labor
contract”), whereas others are more universal (e.g., “termination of labor
contracts”), which may be reflected in the need to change “the” to “a” or “…”.
An individualist society such as the US may use the universalist style, whereas a
more collective culture, such as Japan, will be more particularist in writing style.
A high context culture may use a more lively, original, dynamic, and stylized form
of rhetoric, whereas the US style may appear dry and uninteresting.
An
example of this is that one culture may use what is called a long transition, e.g.:
- Another type of company is a mixed economy company in which public
Or,
-
and private capital is utilized…
Mixed economy companies have both public and private sector capital…
-
It is necessary to point out that foreigners must register their visa…
Foreigners must register their visa…
Accumulative and analytic
High-context cultures may use an accumulative approach in writing – rather like
telling a story in chronological order, with each piece of new text building on the
last. This can be seen, e.g., in legal documents. Low-context cultures, on the
other hand, will re-order such a text to show relationships, such as cause and
effect, hierarchies and procedures. The re-worked text will have greater
analytical complexity.
Another feature of high-context culture writing style is longer sentences, with
more repetition, even with deviations from the main idea, before returning to the
main topic, using a linguistic signalling device.
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The writer of text from a high-context culture can look at a reworking of their
text for, e.g., a US audience and find it very different – almost certainly rather
uninteresting.
Precision
High-context-cultures may assume certain issues or procedures to be evident. In
high-context/collective cultures, procedural directness is considered impolite
because the context itself symbolizes the correct procedures. As a result, many
procedures are tacitly shared and not fully explained textually. This may be
interpreted by a low-context culture reader as lack of precision (Hall, 1976).
Text should be sensitive to audience demands, so that a text (in the original or
translated version) that may be acceptable in the original target culture could be
unacceptable to an audience from a different culture.
Summary
Broad differences in rhetorical patterns appear to exist across populations and
languages. These differences correspond to the cultural patterns of that
population.
However, a great deal of research needs to be done in improving understanding
of the role of language in cross-cultural interactions. Perhaps it is not language
itself that influences rhetorical patterns. It may be that language is one of a
number of factors, which might also include the specific rhetorical context, the
community or group concerned, and the wider cultural/historical context.
Task: create newsletter item from EU directive.
Document file II: European Consumer Law
Read, discuss, analyze and summarize the text as a
newsletter.
How to approach this task?
We will discuss and establish criteria.
The summary should be analytical.
The target readership is “educated professionals”.
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III. WRITING CORRECTLY: GRAMMAR AS A VITAL TOOL FOR
LAWYERS.
“Law is too important a thing to leave to lawyers” – Professor H.L.A. Hart on
human rights, 1973.
Grammatical correctness is essential to effective presentation of text. It goes
hand in hand with logical thinking. However, effective writing is more than
simple grammatical correctness. Organization, style and analysis are also
essential. But even a simple mistake like a missing comma can make a big
difference to meaning. Grammatical correctness is also important for two other
reasons. First, so that readers can focus on what you are saying (i.e., not how
badly you are saying it). Secondly, so that your readers can understand the point
you are making (even if they do not want to). Indeed, making your readers want
to understand is another matter entirely. This vital component of the lawyer’s
professional being is - the art of persuasion. One element of this art is logic.
What are the other two elements?
Answers 14
Functions of grammar in Legal English
Try to see grammar positively: as a useful tool, not a boring necessity.
A good knowledge of grammar enables you to express yourself with clarity and
precision, both in the concrete and in the abstract. Some areas of grammar pose
problems for both native and non-native speakers of English. In the following
section, we examine some of these.
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Legal Prepositions
Legal English involves using many prepositional phrases and idioms. Not only do
you need to know when and how to use them, but you also have to get them
right.
EXERCISE
Put the correct or most usual prepositions into the blanks provided.
In some cases more than one preposition is possible – but does it change the
meaning of the phrase?
To comply ____________
to allocate ____________
To be subject ___________
to derogate ____________
To apply _______________
to appeal ______________
_____ regard ________
_____ behalf _______
_____ addition _____
_____ view _____
to exclude ______
to result ______
to derive _______
in respect _______
to withold _______
to include ______
____ the circumstances
to deduct _____
to add ________
to carry _______
Answers 15
Can you put these expressions into categories?
Answers 16
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Modals: Can, Could and Be Able To
All are about ability, or possibility.
With general ability we use can or be able to for present ability, could or was
able for past ability and will be able for future ability.
She can read Latin texts
When I was at school I could read Latin texts, but now I can’t.
(You can use be able to for [instead of] both of these. I am able to read Latin
texts, I was able to read Latin texts)
If you study hard, you will be able to read Latin texts.
My father can read Latin texts.
My father could read Latin texts. (But now he can’t because he’s dead, or
incapable for some other reason)
We use can and could also to talk about ability on particular occasions, especially
with sense verbs.
I can smell alcohol. Is your father drinking again?
She could hear music playing when she walked into the apartment.
(Here you cannot use be able to instead of can/could)
Can and Could with Possibility and Probability
To talk about general possibility we use can.
Smoking can make you ill.
To talk about a present hypothetical, or a future hypothetical of a specific
situation, we use could, NOT can.
This new tax law could cause problems for small businesses.
New tax laws can be difficult to implement.
“Where is Andris?” “I’m not sure. He could be at the bank.” (NOT can)
For this meaning of could it is possible to use may or might instead.
Andris may/might be at the bank”.
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Modals in the Past
These are used to comment on, or to analyze, past actions, often with a view to
giving advice or making recommendations.
e.g., Could/couldn’t have done; didn’t have to do; must have done;
should/shouldn’t have done; needn’t have done; would/wouldn’t have done; may
have done.
EXERCISE
Use the above to make a statement about the following:
1) Your English clients paid you USD 100 in addition to your bill, as a “Thank
you”.
2) You are interpreting statute A. The meaning (intention) is absolutely clear to
you – but not to your client.
3) However, in statute B, there are two possible interpretations.
4) The Parliament decides to pass another statute, statute C, to clarify statute B.
However, by mistake, the new statute C refers to statute A rather than to
statute B.
5) Last year, your client company made some staff redundant because of falling
orders. Now, business is improving.
6) Commercial tenants of your client’s shopping mall made structural changes
without permission.
7) Case Analysis: The police are interviewing five people about a crime –
robbery and murder. All are equally suspect….
…but after some time the police are sure that two of these people had no
connection with the crime….
… and finally they are sure that only one person, X, is guilty…
… X makes a statement to police in which he says he made a big mistake in that
he thought the victim was rich but there were only 30 cents in his pocket …
… the criminal adds that he now realizes that the victim’s brother, who is rich,
was the correct target for the crime.
Answers 17
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EXERCISE
22
Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Modals Review
In some or all of the following sentences the use of modals is incorrect. Look
them over and be ready to explain why.
1) He must spend ten years in prison for money laundering – the judge said two
years was enough.
2) My assistant still hasn’t completed the report. He should finish it two days
ago.
3) As long as your father’s estate is valued at under USD 600,000, you must not
pay death taxes on it.
4) You needn’t have paid your redundant employees only one week’s money –
four weeks’ money was the correct amount.
5) My client was nowhere the scene of the shooting – he may have done it.
6) Skaidrite is a loyal employee of our company; she shouldn’t have sold trade
secrets to our competitors.
7) It was a violation of the law to import food products without a proper licence
– you didn’t have to do it.
8) Many thanks for your help: we needn’t have succeeded without it.
9) The bank knew that Mantas had a bad credit record: they would have
advanced him the money.
10) . The bank credited our account with USD 3000 but we only paid in USD 300:
they may have made an error.
Answers 18
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Conditionals
Similarly to modals, these are needed in legal English to analyze and comment
on past actions, or to present alternatives – often in connection with giving
advice or recommending a course of action.
While conditionals are difficult in English, they are much less difficult than most
learners believe. Here is one simple rule to remember:
If + will/would do not appear in the same clause in the same sentence.
So, to start a sentence with if you will or if you would, then you know you are
wrong. To start with a non-legal example to illustrate the three basic conditionals
in English. Imagine the following conversation, in a movie, between narcomafia
boss and dealer:
If you don’t pay for the goods, we will kill you.
If you didn’t pay for the goods, we would kill you.
If you hadn’t paid for the goods, we would have killed you.
In what situation does the narcoboss say these sentences?
Which is the most common in legal English?
Why?
What is the effect of using modal verbs like may in the second clause?
Answers 19
EXERCISE
Rephrase the following situations using conditional sentences:
1) The government seems likely to pass a new law that would definitely give
new companies in special areas tax relief for four years.
2) You are discussing which type of company a smaller client should set up.
There are several options and the client has not yet decided. You want to
point out that a sole proprietorship (self-employed person), while easy to
set up, carries the risk of personal liability. Then make the case for a
limited liability company.
3) The corporation you are advising (a new client) was recently penalized in
the EU for violating employment law. It now wants to set up business
here.
Answers 20
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Writing Skills: Verb Structures
Verbs in pairs can present problems to users of English as a second or foreign
language. This is because it is difficult to formulate any grammar rule. The
second verb is either an infinitive (sometimes with ‘to’, sometimes without it) –
or ends in ‘-ing’.
EXERCISE
Put the verbs in brackets in their correct structure to complete the
sentence.
1) I hope ________________ (see) you next Thursday at the conference.
2) We _____________ (look) forward to ____________ (hear) from you.
3) I suggest _________________ (arrange) a meeting between all parties
concerned.
4) Unfortunately, our confidentiality agreement does not allow us ____________
(disclose) such information.
5) Our qualified consultants are trained to help you ______________ (achieve)
the optimal level of performance from your billing.
6) We recommend __________ (use) mediation to resolve this problem.
7) You might consider _________ (employ) a practice manager to deal with
administration.
8) Our clients do not intend _________ (pay) the balance until the work is
completed.
9) I will let you ________ (have) relevant details in the next letter.
10)We propose __________ (allow) the applicant the right to live and carry on
business in this country. [2 possibilities with 2 different meanings]
11)I would appreciate ___________ (receive) payment as soon as possible.
12)I wonder if you ____________ (answer) a few questions. [needs modal]
Answers 21
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Prepositions of Time
Prepositions of all kinds can be a problem if English is not your mother language.
However, correct use of prepositions is vital in legal English. Here, we show why
– by selecting expressions where different prepositions give different meanings.
Can you suggest a strategy to avoid this problem?
Answers 22
EXERCISE
Put the correct preposition/prepositional phrase into the blanks below.
1) Payment is due ___________ one month.
(the money is due on the day of the deadline)
2) Payment is due ____________ the end of January.
(the money is due on the day of the deadline)
3) Payment is due _____________ one month.
(the money is due any time from now until the deadline)
4) Payment is due ___________ the end of January.
(the money is due any time from now until the deadline)
5) We refuse to settle accounts _________ the work is completed.
6) We noted that ___________ 01 September 2002 no prepayments had been
submitted as agreed in the building agreement.
7) ____________ our examination of employment practices at your company,
we identified a number of discrepancies between those practices and the new
employment law.
8) ___________ receipt of this letter, you have five days to respond, or we shall
take legal action.
9) We are scheduled to work for the bank _________ June 15 and no later.
10) She has worked for our firm __________ 1998.
11) The next partners’ meeting will be held _____ 01 January.
12) He has worked for our company _________ three years.
Answers 23
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Tense Overview
EXERCISE
In the following extract, a modification of a newsletter report, put the
verbs in brackets into the correct tense. Be careful of passive
structures, conditionals, infinitives, negatives, and nouns. Some
present and past participle clauses appear in the text. Where are they?
How are they similar to relative clauses? Note: the text shifts in time
from recent past, to present, and future.
Businesses (face) 25 sets of laws under Unfair Commercial Practices
Directive
In a controversial move, EU trade ministers (withdraw) the ‘country of origin’
principle (propose) in the Directive on Unfair Commercial Practices (the
‘Directive’).
 A recap of the Directive
The Directive (design) (clarify) consumers’ rights and (facilitate) cross-border
trade by (establish) common, EU-wide rules against aggressive or (mislead)
business-to-consumer marketing. It (apply) to anyone (sell) goods or services,
or (advertise) in the EU, with a duty (place) on Member States (ensure) that the
rules on unfair commercial practices (enforce). A full summary of the (propose)
Directive (include) in the September 2003 edition of the Commercial Newsletter.
 (Remove) the ‘country of origin’ principle
Under this principle, entities within the EU (require) (comply) with the laws of the
country in which they (establish), thereby (avoid) the laws of other EU Member
States in which they (trade).
With such provisions from the Directive
(withdraw), European entities (require) (comply) with the consumer protection
laws of all 25 EU Member States, rather than just those of their country of
establishment. A number of Member States (argue) that (include) a ‘country of
origin’ principle (be) unfair to those countries with more stringent consumer
protection requirements. However, (remove) the principle (provoke) controversy
in six Member States, (include) the UK. (Feel) that this (lead) to legal
uncertainty, since the requirement on UK businesses (comply) with 24 other sets
of national laws (can) not (be conducive) to (increase) cross-border activity. The
Commission (support) its decision, however, on the basis of the benefits of ‘full
harmonisation’ – by (comply) with the Directive, traders (act) not only in their
own national context but also at EU-level. Since the same rules (apply) in all EU
member states, there (be) no need for mutual recognition.

Timetable
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Following publication, the draft Directive (adopt) by the Council of Ministers and
(submit) to the European Parliament for a second reading.
Adapted from Baker & Mackenzie’s Commercial newsletter June 2004
Answers 24
Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Relative Clauses
Relative clauses divide into two groups – defining and non-defining.
Here are some examples of defining relative clauses.
The firm who (that) occupies the next door office is a consultancy. (information
about the firm)
(Here, using the strategy in the answer to the last question, you can avoid a
relative clause: The firm occupying the next door office is a consultancy).
The city which (that) (no pronoun) we most want to establish an office in is
Geneva. (information connecting city and Geneva)
Laima is a company which (that) makes chocolate. (information about the
company)
Now, some examples of non-defining (or “extra information”) relative clauses.
My client, who claims compensation from defendants, is a manager.
She works for Laima, which makes excellent chocolate.
Running, which promotes fitness, is her favorite sport.
Notice:
In



defining relative clauses:
We can use either who/which or that or sometimes no relative pronoun.
We do not use commas.
The two sentences or clauses that are combined are not logical alone.
In



non-defining relative clauses;
We have to use either who or which and cannot use that.
We use commas
The sentences that are combined could stand (are logical) alone.
REFLECTION
Some defining relative clauses need no relative pronouns, while others do. Why?
Answers 25
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Relative Clauses
EXERCISE
In which of the following sentences can we use that instead of which or who? In
which of them can we leave out the relative pronoun altogether? Put commas in
the sentences where appropriate. Does inserting commas (or not) change
meaning?
1) The risks which we mentioned earlier are extremely serious.
2) The property which has been valued at USD 275K should be sold at the
earliest possible date.
3) Only citizens who have been deemed eligible are allowed to vote.
4) Generally, activities which have been carried out in connection with
production marketing and sales of goods are taken into account when
assessing whether there has been a violation of competition laws.
5) Solveiga Jacobsone who is an experienced corporate lawyer with our firm
is the right person to ask.
6) Politicians who break the law should be given long prison terms.
Answers 26
Countable or Uncountable? 2
EXERCISE Complete the blanks in the following sentences, by choosing the
correct form of the nouns.
1) The (insurance) company declined to accept the fire (risk) on the old building.
2) Everybody must take (risk); if it/they turn/s out right, it is/they are renamed
opportunities. (Sybil Taylor, as Sidney Tremayne)
3) With so much (money) missing from the (fund), there is/are a/- clear
(implication) of (fraud).
4) If we go ahead with this deal, what is/are the (implication)?
5) The company established an/- amortization (fund) to cover the (expense) of
renovating their offices.
6) Monthly (expense) exceed/s income: where are we going to find the
(fund/money) to pay salaries? The bank won’t give us any more (credit).
7) Investigations into company (finance) uncovered a series of (fraud).
8) She has considerable (experience) of working in the world of (finance), in
particular export (credit).
9) Following (exposure) of clear (evidence) of ministerial involvement in corrupt
activities, public (opinion) turned against the governement.
10)(Opinion) vary/varies, but my (suggestion/advice) is/are to put your ideas on
(paper).
11)On the (information/evidence) we have, our clients cannot accept (liability) to
refund the (money).
12)The (documentation/paper) contain/s a lot of (information) about the
company’s (liability) to creditors.
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13)The best (advice) we can give you is to apply to the court for (relief).
14)Tax (relief) is/are available to companies setting up business in the special
enterprise zone.
Answers 27
Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Recommendations and Suggestions
EXERCISE
What language is appropriate for the situations presented below? Choose
according to whether the situation calls for a spoken or written recommendation
and with regard to the strength of what you wish to say.
1) You are sitting with a client. You know that it is legally permissible for their
company to pay a majority of their employees’ salaries from a Cyprus
account, thereby significantly lowering income tax liability.
2) You are writing a legal opinion and wish to inform the government that their
current policies applied to state aids allow for an unacceptably high risk of
penalties.
3) You are writing a formal email to a client and wish to stress the importance
of complying with trademark regulations.
4) In your report, you wish to express that the company should spend a taxdeductible USD 1.7 million to improve its environmental friendliness. Strict
new environmental legislation seems likely to be passed.
5) In a meeting with a Ukrainian client, you wish to stress that you believe that
their proposed export of gorilka to the EU does not appear viable due to strict
quality control regulations.
6) In a report to government, you want to recommend the appointment of an
individual responsible for keeping up to date with the latest EU regulations
and court decisions, since it appears that the government is likely often to be
in breach of the law after entry to the EU.
Answers 28
Task: perform linguistic analysis of the online banking contract
(Document file III). First, we will discuss and establish the criteria:
e.g.language aspects, such as vocabulary and style, sentence word
order, uniformity of terminology.
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IV. WRITING EFFECTIVELY: ORGANIZING STRUCTURE OF TEXT
“The advocate who seeks to persuade should first seek to please” –
Quintilian, c AD35-95.
EFFECTIVE WRITING: INGREDIENTS
1. MAIN IDEA
This ingredient of effective writing involves focusing on a clear, manageable
idea or argument, then organizing your material around it. This includes
choosing secondary ideas that support and strengthen the main idea.
Checkpoints
 Main idea/aim is narrow enough for meaningful discussion.
 Main idea is clearly stated, normally at the beginning.
 All secondary ideas relate clearly to the main idea.
2. ORGANIZATION
This element of writing is about coherent arrangement of material. It
involves keeping the reader oriented to the main and secondary ideas. Good
organization is logical and orderly. It guides the reader between divisions of
the material.
Checkpoints
 Introduction orients reader to main idea and line of reasoning.
 Material is arranged in a logical and coherent sequence; secondary
ideas are effectively identified.
 Transitions are clear and helpful.
 Conclusion or closing summarizes the argument, emphasizes the main
idea, and leaves the reader with a sense of completion.
3. SUPPORTING MATERIAL
Explanations, examples, statistics, and quotations make the ideas and
information presented meaningful and memorable for the reader.
In
exposition, the role of supporting material is to clarify; in argument, to
persuade.
Checkpoints
 Examples are relevant, specific, detailed, sufficient, and persuasive.
 Quotations support the argument.
4. EXPRESSION, WORD CHOICE AND POINT OF VIEW
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Language is clear, specific, accurate, and appropriate to the audience,
purpose, and material. Variety in sentence structure and length creates
emphasis.


Word choice is clear, specific, accurate, unassuming, and free of
clichés and misused jargon.
Sentences are free of wordiness and ambiguity.
5. SPELLING, GRAMMAR, AND PUNCTUATION
This element of good writing matters only when it is wrong. That is, readers
notice spelling, grammar, and punctuation only when you make a mistake.
Checkpoints
 Spelling, including technical terms and proper names, is correct.
 Correct words are used to convey the intended meaning.
 Generally accepted rules of grammar and syntax are followed,
including pronoun/noun agreement, subject/verb agreement,
appropriate verb tense, pronoun case, possessive forms, parallel
construction, and others.
DEVELOPING THE ARGUMENT IN WELL-STRUCTURED PARAGRAPHS
COMPOSING THE PARAGRAPH
1. The paragraph is the basic unit of composition. It is a convenient
organizational unit for the writer, as well as an aid to the reader. Text
arranged in carefully structured paragraphs is more coherent and easier to
follow than text presented without breaks or in random order. With the
beginning of each paragraph, the writer signals a new stage in developing
the subject.
2. Try comparing the process of writing to constructing a brick
building. A word is like a brick, and a paragraph is like a level, or floor.
Both in writing and in bricklaying, each stage of the structure rests on the
one that preceded it.
Writing can be expressed as the logical
arrangement of thinking.
3. Given the sequential nature of written communication, make sure
every sentence follows logically the one that preceded it. In the same
way, the writer should organize and arrange every paragraph so that it
connects with and builds on the preceding paragraph.
4. Continuing the brick-laying analogy, imagine climbing a stairway that
leads from the building’s first floor to its top floor. Just as each level is set
apart by a new floor, each paragraph should begin either with a sentence
that suggests the topic or with a sentence that helps the transition.
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5. Consider the paragraphs on this page as examples. Which ones
begin with topic sentences?
Which ones begin with transitional
sentences?
6. Transitions may be announced by phrases or thought-connecting
words such as nevertheless, therefore, consequently, indeed, then,
accordingly, however, moreover and also. In paragraph 3, the transitional
phrase, “Given the sequential
7. nature of written communication,” for example, could be replaced by the
connecting word, “Therefore”.
Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Paragraph Organization
Different languages, different cultures, may have different approaches to
structuring texts, including legal texts.
In English, we are expected to structure each paragraph in a logical and
organized way. Learning how to do this will greatly improve your ability to sound
professional in English.
The formula is simple. The first sentence of each paragraph is called the ‘topic
sentence’. The topic sentence operates much like the heading in a report: it tells
the reader what the rest of the paragraph is going to be about. The sentences
that follow in the body of the paragraph either:
1) support the statement made in the topic sentence, if the writer is expressing
an opinion, or
2) elaborate on (develop) the topic sentence if the writer is describing a process
or situation (see next page).
A paragraph may also contain a sum-up or concluding sentence.
It is possible to imagine the paragraph as a kind of pyramid, with the topic
sentence giving us the general idea of the paragraph supported or developed by
the more specific sentences that follow:
TOPIC SENTENCE
BODY (SUPPORT)
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In a well-written letter or report following this paragraph structure, the reader
can get the main ideas quickly by simply scanning the first sentence of each
paragraph. After that, readers are able to decide for themselves if they want to
read the details. (Compare this with journalistic text). In a poorly written text,
vital information may be hidden in a paragraph that seems to be about
something else. Thus, writing in this orderly way not only saves your audience
time, but also ensures that they won’t miss what they are looking for.
Paragraph Organization 2
Here is an example of the first kind of paragraph, in which the statements below
the topic sentence support it logically:
Legal argumentation requires a systematic, disciplined approach.
Failure to connect ideas, logical fallacies, poor organization, and other features
of substance and presentation, suggest to the reader that both the argument
and the research behind it are professionally incompetent. The negative effects
from such an impression may range from simple lack of profesional
effectiveness, to loss of status and reputation.
Notice that the body of the paragraph backs up the assertion that elementary
issues of legal argumentation are important by giving examples of the possible
consequences of not taking it seriously.
Here is an example of the second kind of paragraph (about establishing common
procedures in multinational law firms), in which the topic sentence is developed,
rather than supported logically:
In the world of multinational law firms, a common feature is a
merger between a larger foreign firm with a smaller local law
practice. Often it is a question of a long-established New York or London
firm acquiring a local firm to gain access to the market. The partners in the
new, enlarged firm will need to set in place effective administrative
procedures, to ensure smooth operation. Inevitably, lines of
communication will be a priority.
Notice that here the topic sentence is much more general and doesn’t need to be
backed up with logical support. It provides an overview of what the paragraph
will discuss.
In the next paragraph, what might the topic sentence be?
Answers 29
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Re-Organize the Paragraph
EXERCISE
The following is a scrambled text summarizing aspects of revision of the
Committee of Advertising Practice (‘CAP’) Code. Re-order the sentences so that
the paragraph flows logically. The paragraph begins with a heading.
This prohibits the sending of any unsolicited marketing communications by
means of electronic mail (e.g. email or SMS) to individual subscribers if the
identity of the sender has been concealed, or if a valid opt-out address has not
been provided.
The clause now also provides that email and mobile marketing communications
contain the full name and a valid address of the marketers (e.g. an email address
for email communications) to which recipients can send opt-out requests.
Clause 22 of the Code deals with identifying marketers in marketing
communications.
The clause has been amended to clarify that distance-selling advertisements
must include the marketer's name and, in certain circumstances, full address (i.e.
a PO Box may not be sufficient) or telephone number.
Information to be provided in marketing communications
These amendments reflect section 23 of the Regulations.
Adapted from Baker & Mackenzie’s Commercial newsletter June 2004
Answers 30
More on Paragraphs
A new paragraph introduces, and develops, a new set of ideas.
But what kind of ideas – can you classify them?
Answer 31
What function does each of these perform?
Answer 32
Sentence structure
How to avoid sentence fragments
A sentence fragment is a sentence that is not grammatical, e.g., “Although, the
court did not accept this proposition.” (Should read “However, the court…”).
This is an example of the first of two main categories of sentence fragments.
Dependent clauses used as sentences.
e.g., “Whereas, the Italian courts take a different approach”.
How to avoid?
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Answers 33
Groups of words without a main verb.
e.g., “The French courts’ view of illegal use of industrial property as a crime.”
is wrong, but can easily be changed, either as above or, e.g., “The French
courts’ view of illegal use of industrial property as a crime is not matched by
that of the Italian courts.”
How to avoid run-on sentences.
These are sentence fragments in reverse. That is, instead of half a sentence
standing alone (sentence fragment), a run-on sentence is actually two
sentences, wrongly joined to form one sentence, e.g.:
“The result of the decision in Lubbe v Cape the whole concept of forum non
conveniens is under question.”
How to correct?
Answers 34
Unnecessary emphasis
This is more a mistake of style than grammar. It happens by adding extra
modifiers, e.g.:
 It is very necessary to change the law in this respect.
 The government acted knowingly by allowing arbitrary human rights abuses
to continue.
 Judges should not be improperly biased.
What to do?
Answers 35
Too few words
Missing prepositions
Both native and non-native speakers of English often make this mistake, though
possibly for different reasons. Examples:
 The ECJ is the forum which they should make their case.
 We are considering which court to bring our case.
 This controversial question discusses the press.
How to deal with this?
Answers 36
Task: analyze the language of draft scaffolding hire contract
(Document file IV), using comments as a guide. Write a
linguistic analysis according to criteria which we will agree.
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As to the scaffolding hire contract, see email exchange (below)
between client and English-language text editor.
From: Christopher Goddard [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, March 19, 2006 5:23 PM
To: Bilbo Lukasenko Avocati
Subject: RE: Scaffolding hire
Dear Bilbo
Attached: scaffolding contract and annexes, all edited.
First of all: big congratulations on attempting this in English.
Do not be discouraged by the huge number of suggested changes and comments.
That said, this was indeed a monster - 100 comments in main text is probably a
record!
In going through the document, I have been wearing two hats, as:
- legal English editor, applying rules of modern legal English, and
- contract drafter, applying principles of contract drafting (in which I run courses
here in Riga, and elsewhere).
The first target has been to achieve accuracy, and clarity of both meaning and
intention.
The second target has been to achieve good modern legal English style.
I have replaced 'shall' almost everywhere, and have used simple modals (e.g., 'may')
to express clearly the important regulatory features such as permission, prohibition,
obligation, authorization, conditions.
In addition, I have removed articles where possible, changing passive verbs to active.
Most of the comments relate to clarity of meaning of content. It is always possible
that (as with statutes) some aspects of a contract are deliberately left vague, where
no full agreement has been reached. However, that should not be the case here,
because this is going to be a standard form contract.
Some comments relate to the form of the contract itself: these include a separate
clause for key definitions, one idea for each clause (or sub-clause), more subheadings.
I could have gone further, but have already exceeded my remit as simple text editor as an honorary member of your team, I allowed myself to do this :) However, at the
end of the day the English version must be no more than a faithful reflection of the
Bulimian original.
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For the moment, we have an English version that needs some clarifying, and that may
make you want to revisit the Bulimian original, which I am pleased to hear is not in
final form.
Best,
Chris
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Chris,
Yes, it should be a standard contract. The Bulimian version ist already approved by
the client and "under final constration" now. So changes are possible yet.
I think I can answer your questions and clerify most of them but I need to compare
the Bulimian version with the bad english translation. I don't think that I can deliver
my answers today. (That means neither this week....)
I do my best, but I'm very busy today. If you can't get answers from me today and if
you can not procede without me than we should postpone the work to next week.
What's your opinion?
Bilbo
Bilbo Lukasenki Avocati
L - 1001 Loch Ness
ulica Monstera 72.
Telefon +44 (1) 413 3 400
Telefax +44 (1) 413 3 413
bilbo.Lukasenki @bna.bu
www. bla.avocati.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Original Message----From: Christopher Goddard [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 14, 2006 12:55 PM
To: Bilbo Lukasenki Avocati
Subject: RE: Scaffolding hire
Dear Bilbo
Many questions arise on this document, which I guess is a standard form contract.
I have stopped after a few pages, because the extent of editing will depend (as I now
realise) on whether the Bulimian original is (a) also under preparation (a good thing)
or (b) whether it is already finalized with no possibility to change it (a bad thing).
These comments will be clear to you if you read through the attachment - especially
the comments.
In short, if (a) is the case, then I can continue freely with changes and suggestions,
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whereas if (b) is the case then I will start again but with a different approach.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
Chris
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V. WRITING COHESIVELY: GUIDING THE READER; LINKING
IDEAS
“If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor” – Albert
Einstein 1879-1955.
A. Connect Ideas with Care.
Language as a connector
Your ideas are important. Also important is how you link them. If not properly
connected, ideas may not be understood. And if your reader cannot understand
your ideas, there is no point in writing at all.
Some words and phrases are called connectors, language signals, transition
words, linking words, signposts, or guideposts. In linguistics they are called
“discourse markers”. Discourse is text; a marker is a sign that tells you where
you are – and where you are going. It’s like driving from Riga to Tallinn. You do
this by driving north, using a map and following the road signs that tell you that
Tallinn is getting closer. So, use discourse markers (+ structural techniques) to
make a road map of your text for the reader.
Connectors have grammatical terms (e.g., and, but, or, for are conjunctions, i.e.,
words used to join word groups). However, it is probably more useful to think of
them in terms of what they do – their function. For example, but is used to show
contrast between meaning of groups of words on either side of it; while and
makes a positive connection between groups of words on either side of it.
The message here is – use words for a purpose.
EXERCISE Below is a list of common connectors. These provide transition, or
movement, between ideas and show their relationship. Try placing them in
categories. (Can you add to them?).
 then, meanwhile, next, before, later, in a few days, until, when, after,
following…
 above, below, nearby, beyond, opposite (to), adjacent (to), far from…
 indeed, moreover, further, furthermore, besides, also, in addition (to),
again…
 because, since, for that/this reason, in light of, in view of…
 to, in order to, so that, so as to, with a view to, with the aim of…
 consequently, as a result, resulting in/from
 nevertheless, hence, thus, therefore, so…
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
40
however, but, despite, although, similarly, likewise, yet, on the contrary,
notwithstanding, in like manner…
this, these, those…
Answers 37
Connectors are important in legal and official English – both speaking and
writing.
Using connectors helps give text coherence – that is, a natural, reasonable and
logical connection between parts of the text. The result: text that is easier to
understand. Connectors are often not present in legal and official writing.
Indeed, the better you know the theme (and the language), the more likely it is
that you will omit connectors. This is probably because they are there in your
mind but because you are your own reader, you don’t need them. So, when
writing – think of the actual readers. The same applies with speaking. Make life
easy for your audience.
Connectors are used for transition. Transition means, moving from one place to
another, or from one phase to another (e.g., transition economy). Use
connectors to link sentences within paragraphs. However, effective transition is
even more important between paragraphs than between sentences. Again,
transition is equally important between whole different sections of text. Here,
though, the writer may be able to call upon an extra aid to transition – especially
in longer text.
What is this?
Answer 38
A new paragraph often shows a new topic, or a change of direction for or from
the previous paragraph topic, e.g.:
(Para A) “…… Until Costa v ENEL some uncertainty might have existed as to the
role of EU law and its relationship with national law. In its decision in this case,
the Court….
(Para B) As a result of this decision, it now became clear that…”
Note also the use of As a result of. This analytical language helps to establish
cause and effect in the mind of the reader.
The first draft of any writing is likely to lack transition. As already suggested, this
is even more likely when you know your subject so well you do not realize that
transition language – discourse markers or connectors - is absent. The problem
is aggravated when the subject is complex and the text long. So, as you read
your first draft, add transition language.
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Note: A list of some useful transitions appears at the end of this section.
Can you add more categories, and more examples, to the list?
Can you see any transitions that belong to more than one list?
Commas as connectors
Be careful with commas in professional writing! Adding – or omitting – a comma
could result in ambiguity – and a lawsuit!
Consider the following, from a will (testament):
“I leave all my assets to be divided equally between my children: Kristi, Neringa,
Aija and Marina”.
How many divisions are intended?
Answers 39
Again, in a claim for compensation for a client who is now blind after an
accident:
“Plaintiff enjoyed Baltic yachting and fishing, travelling, the study of Russian art
and history”.
In this sentence, what are possible ambiguities?
Answers 40
Next, a receipt for payment:
“I (name) confirm that I have received full payment of the claim filed in this suit
against the defendant on (date)”.
What does the date refer to?
Answers 41
Moving on, a misplaced comma can be as damaging as ones that are omitted,
e.g.:
“Neither the death penalty nor imprisonment, except as punishment for a crime
of which an individual is convicted, is acceptable under our Constitution”.
In the case of your own country, is the first comma in the correct
position?
Answers 42
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How to rewrite this sentence to give the probable intended meaning?
Answers 43
Note, however, that commas are often used after transitional phrases and
connectors, e.g.:
“On the other hand, it is also true to say that…”;
“However, we cannot agree that…”;
“As a result, the court decided…”.
Here, the comma adds emphasis to the transition. It can also help bring clarity to
longer sentences.
TEXT COHERENCE
When sentences, ideas, and details fit together clearly, readers can follow along
easily, and the writing is coherent. The ideas tie together smoothly and clearly.
To establish the links that readers need, you can use the methods listed here.
Repeating a Key Term or Phrase
This helps to focus your ideas and to keep your reader on track.
Example: The problem with common law is that it is not easily understood by
most people. Common law depends on judicial interpretation, which often results
in language so complex that only lawyers can understand it.
Synonyms
Synonyms are words that have essentially the same meaning, and they provide
some variety in your word choices, helping the reader to stay focused on the
idea being discussed. Note, however, that this may not apply in legal writing,
which sacrifices style to clarity.
Example: Human rights violations in the Rwanda-Congo war set new standards in
horror on the African continent. Indeed, abuses of human dignity and breaches
of human rights in general can only begin to be understood against a
background of three million dead.
Pronouns
This, that, these, those, he, she, it, they, and we are useful pronouns for
referring back to something previously mentioned. But be sure that what you are
referring to is clear.
Example: The original concept of EU citizenship was no more than that of
‘market citizen’. This has gradually been developed by the ECJ into something
less superficial, although still far from traditional concepts of citizenship.
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Transitional Words
Many words in English cue the reader to relationships between sentences (or
parts of sentences), connecting and developing ideas. See the file on Transitional
Devices (Connecting Words). There you'll find lists of words such as however,
therefore, in addition, also, but, moreover, and others.
Example: Common law seems unsystematic, and yet somehow it works, too. The
common lawyer may understand a client’s case, but may have difficulty in
making the client understand it. In addition, due to reliance on precedent, no
lawyer can ever really be sure of having found exactly what the client needs to
guarantee success.
Sentence Patterns
Sometimes, repeated or parallel sentence patterns can help the reader follow
along and keep ideas tied together.
Example: If duties without rights make slaves, rights without duties make
strangers. (David Selbourne, in The Principle of Duty).
TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS
Amplification or addition
also
and
besides
first, …
second, …
third, …
in addition
many
moreover
too
finally
next
Cause and effect; consequence or result
and so
so
accordingly
if
as a result
then
because (of)
since
consequently
therefore
owing to
equally important
in other words
similarly
likewise
furthermore
another reason
due to
thus
it follows
hence
as
Comparison or analogy
in the same way
likewise
analogously
equally
similarly
whereas
also
while
Contrast or alternative
but
conversely
on the one/other hand
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however
in spite of
on the contrary
still
44
in contrast
nevertheless
contrary to
yet
although
(even) though
alternatively
despite
if
provided that
to be sure
unless
no doubt
it is true
Conclusion
finally
at last
in conclusion
therefore
in short
in summary
to conclude
thus
as a result
consequently
accordingly
to summarize
Emphasis
of course
obviously
again
after all
above all
in fact
to repeat
unquestionably
indeed
Condition or concession
although
even though
of course
granted that
Illustration or example/clarifying
for example
specifically
for instance
that is
particularly
in particular
in other words
to illustrate
Relationship in time
next
as soon as
last
before
when
subsequently
thereafter
during
now
soon
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then
until
later
afterwards
recently
simultaneously
since
from now on
at present
while
as an illustration
in effect
namely
this means
at times
beforehand
earlier
after
eventually
at the same time
currently
meanwhile
once
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Linking Word Sentence Position
All the linking words on the previous page can be put (roughly and with
exceptions) into three sentence position patterns. We will use the sentences ‘He
admitted the crime’ and ‘He received a heavy sentence’ to illustrate.
Although admitting the crime, he received a heavy sentence.
He received a heavy sentence although he admitted the crime.
Despite admitting the crime, he received a heavy sentence.
He received a heavy sentence despite admitting the crime.
He admitted the crime. Nevertheless, he received a heavy sentence.
REFLECTION
While each of the three linking words used above expresses contrast, each
functions differently in the sentences above.
What generalizations can you make about each group?
Answers 44
Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
EXERCISE
Correct the Mistakes
1) We managed to file the lawsuit by the deadline although the problems with
obtaining evidence.
2) The situation described above is extremely serious. We, therefore,
recommend immediate action.
3) However the court took into account evidence given by witnesses on behalf
of the plaintiff, the fact that the plaintiff himself had clearly lied was very
damaging to his case.
4) The former employee arrived for work as usual on Monday, despite of having
been dismissed the previous Friday.
5) As it turns out, your company has violated the tax laws. It means that you
may face penalties.
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6) On one side, we do not foresee difficulties; on the other, we should always
think proactively.
7) Nevertheless your staff were always polite, they were never helpful.
8) The company can, thus, substantially reduce its employee base.
9) The organization was found to be subject to certain penalties due to they
engaged in certain prohibited transactions.
10) We are unable to estimate the total potential liability. Whereas, we consider
it to be probably substantial.
Answers 45
Adverbs as Linking Words
Currently
Additionally
ordinarily
subsequently alternatively
accordingly
generally
similarly
These words are similar to the linking words we saw above and are very
common in legal and business texts. They follow the same sentence position
rules as linking words: mainly first position second sentence. ‘Currently’,
‘generally’ and ‘ordinarily’ are interesting exceptions: they are usually found in
first position, first sentence. They create the expectation that further information
is coming in the second sentence. They are often used in conjunction with
negative type linking words like ‘however’.
Here are two examples:
Ordinarily, the government does not grant tax holidays to venture capital
concerns. However, if the firm is engaged in software development, a recent
provision allows a five year tax holiday.
Currently, early release from prison is allowed for good behaviour. The
government has recently proposed that this be abolished where the prisoner has
committed a serious crime.
EXERCISE
Fill the blanks below with one of the adverbs above:
1) __________________ , all foreign managers are subject to income and social
taxes. However, if they can prove that they are physically present for less
than 183 days, then they are exempt.
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2) You may wish to claim all of your loss under the heading of breach of
contract. _________________ , you may also, or in the alternative, wish to
claim all or part under the heading of negligence.
3) The authorities tend to be very strict in these matters, especially with foreign
companies. _________________ , you can expect to face severe penalties.
4) Foreign companies must register in this country if they maintain an office
here. The company registration office sends an identifying number to the
company’s business address. ____________________ , all company
documents must include this number.
5) Company business expenses can be set off against income for tax purposes.
_______________________, individuals who register themselves as
companies can obtain this benefit. ____________ , however, individuals
would not qualify.
Answers 46
Using transitions to create coherence within the paragraph.
Add transitional words or phrases to achieve smooth flow from
sentence to sentence.
Brussels, 15 April 2004
The 10 new Member States due to join the EU on 1 May 2004 are on course to
meet the EU's food safety standards. ________ food establishments (processing
plants, dairies and abattoirs) will need some transitional time to finish upgrading
their standards. ______ that time, their products will only be sold on the
domestic market of the new Member States concerned. The EU-15 agreed today
to the final list of establishments which will benefit from such an upgrading
period. ____________, the Commission made details available today on 37 new
Border Inspection Posts which will start operating as of 1 May at the new
borders. ______ purpose is to control incoming veterinary products from third
countries.
Adapted extract from press release IP/04/485 Safe food in an EU of 25 Member States: final
steps towards enlargement on 1 May
Answers 47
Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Cohesion 1
The following short article contains, after the short heading, three logical, wellcrafted paragraphs. The use of linking words is effective and the topic sentences
are carefully chosen and well-supported.
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Another crucial test of a well-written paragraph is whether or not it coheres or
holds together, both on its own and with the paragraphs around it.
EXERCISE
Mark the words, phrases and abbreviations that help the whole text function as
an interconnected (coherent) whole, and which also allow the writer to avoid
unnecessary repetition.
OFT recommendations lead to removal of all car servicing restrictions
The OFT recently concluded a study into new car warranties. This revealed that
dealer-based extended warranties limit consumers’ ability to choose where to
have their new car serviced. As a result, the OFT recommended, firstly, that car
manufacturers and franchised dealers lift restrictions on where new cars may be
serviced while under warranty, and, secondly, improve provision of customer
information on the terms of their warranties.
 The restrictions
The recommendations follow introduction of the Cars Block Exemption
Regulation (‘BER’), which came into force in October 2003. The BER provides an
exemption from the EC Treaty prohibition on anti-competitive agreements.
However, under the BER, manufacturers and their dealers are obliged to open
themselves up to greater competition from garages outside their network. The
practice under OFT scrutiny concerned franchised dealers selling new cars with
warranties that obliged consumers to have their new cars serviced by franchised
dealers. Such dealers have been carrying out up to 90% of servicing of cars up
to three years old.
Therefore, in line with the OFT recommendation, the
remaining manufacturers who maintained this practice have now lifted their
servicing restrictions. In doing so, they have averted the risk of formal action by
the OFT or the European Commission.
 The effect of the action
The lifting of restrictions will mean that consumers will now be able to choose
freely where they have their new car serviced. The OFT also recommends that
consumers shop around but to ensure that only a reputable garage is used that
will carry out work in line with the car manufacturer’s service schedules.
However, the OFT’s recommendations only apply to motor cars. This means that
the servicing arrangements for other types of vehicle (such as motorbikes)
remain unaffected.
Adapted from Baker & Mackenzie’s Commercial newsletter June 2004
Answers 48
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Legal Writing Skills: Problem Areas
Cohesion 2
EXERCISE
Make changes in the following short text, to eliminate repetition and help the
paragraph hold together better. Some of the following expressions might be
useful:
such
lastly
based on
these
following
especially
particularly
this
moreover
according to
which after
in addition
finally
derives from in accordance with
Brussels, 19 April 2004
Community legislation on the collective management of rights, and
_____________ on the governance of collecting societies, would be
highly desirable. _____ is one of the main conclusions arrived at in a
Communication
published
by
the
European
Commission
_____________ an in-depth analysis of the issues surrounding the
management of copyright and related rights. __________, the
Commission is immediately launching a further consultation exercise
on what _______ legislation might consist of. The Communication also
concludes that interoperability and acceptance by all stakeholders is a
pre-condition for their emergence. ____________, the Communication
sets out several options for improving the situation regarding the
development of Community-wide licensing for the exploitation of
rights. The Communication is __________ the conclusions of the
consultation carried out on _________issues, ________ took place
against the backdrop of the emerging Information Society.
______________ another study ordered by the Commission in 2003,
copyright exploitation accounts for over 5.3% of Community GDP.
Adapted from press release IP/04/492 Copyright: the Commission
advocates European legislation on the governance of collecting
societies
Answers 49
TASK: linguistically analyze the draft agency contract below.
Compare with the draft agreement on page 45 Document
file. We will establish criteria for written work.
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-----Sākotnējā ziņa----No: "Emmanuel Clot" <[email protected]>
Sūtīts: 2004-10-06 13:40:59.857
Kam: "Roman Justs" <[email protected]>
Par: contract agreement
ATELIER D'ART DE LIMOGES
ZI Ponteix, 3 rue Thomas Edison / 87220 Feytiat - Limoges - France Phone : +33 555 313 474 fax : +33 555 313 475 Website : http://www.atelier-limoges.com / Email : [email protected]
Dear Roman,
Good morning.
Thank you for your last email.
Referring to my yesterday message, I am pleased to inform you as follows :
- Please find enclosed the project of contract with you.
I kindly invite you to read it carefully and inform me concerning this project.
If you would like some changes, feel free to ask me.
On another hand, I would be grateful if you could explain me first step of prospection you plan to
lead :
- Number and kind of shops targeted
- Time allowed by week
- Direct sale on the Internet (any website building project) or to shops
- Will you display our boxes in your shp or elsewhere ?
On my side, and following experience on this point, I can propose you following commercial
toolkit for Christmas season, which is a great one for our products :
- Selection of 10 - 20 boxes (fancies, high class decoration, refined, casket, classical)
- 10 printed catalogues
- Authenticity certificate
- Elegant individual blue gift boxes
- Porcelain hand painted displays supports This commercial toolkit could be quoted at wholesale
prices.
I hope that all these points will satisfy you and allow us to start to work together for Christmas
season.
I am looking forward to reading from you and I remain at your disposal.
Best regards,
Emmanuel.
Emmanuel CLOT
Sales Manager
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Atelier d’Art de Limoges
3 Rue Thomas Edison
Z.I. du Ponteix
87220 LIMOGES – FEYTIAT
FRANCE
Tel: +33 (0) 555 313 474
Fax : +33(0) 555 313 475
Website : atelier-limoges.com
Email : [email protected]
AGENCY CONTRACT AGREEMENT
Object:
The present contract is established to define the commercial relations between the ATELIER
D’ART DE LIMOGES Company, Located ZI Ponteix, 3 rue Thomas Edison France named the
exporter,
And,
Roman Justs, Latvia, named the agent.
Products:
The contract is established to ensure the promotion of the ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES products
as per its catalogue.
Also, this contract is established to ensure the promotion of future ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES
products.
Territory:
The contract is established to ensure the agency representation of ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES
products by ROMAN JUSTS on following geographical area:
All Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia territories.
The contract is not exclusive and allows the exporter to contract with all other agents on same or
different geographical area without any obligations beside ROMAN JUSTS.
Agent’s commitment:
The agent by signing the contract takes commitment to:
Promote by all available measures and resources the ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES company
and products.
Send to the exporter regular market feed-back and written activity report (at least once a
month).
Support the exporter in his commercial activity in above described territory.
Attend and participate to all required commercial show and exhibition.
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Ensure the commercialization, sales and payment of all ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES
products and all the related followings.
To not communicate data, drawings, commercial and other information related to ATELIER
D’ART DE LIMOGES products or Company of such a nature as to be prejudicial to the
exporter.
Exporter’s commitment:
The exporter by signing the contract takes commitment to:





Support by all available measures and resources the commercial activity of the agent to
promote ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES Company and products.
Provide TIF or JPG photos to agent of entire Limoges items range available from ATELIER
D’ART DE LIMOGES (except exclusivities granted to other ATELIER D’ART DE LIMOGES
clients, agents, or other partners) for promotional purpose and when required.
Keep informed the agent of all internal changes of such a nature to change the
commercial relations between the parties
Keep informed the agent of all contracts signed for promotion of ATELIER D’ART DE
LIMOGES products on agent’s territory
Remunerate the agent for all effective sales made thanks to his action under below
conditions
Commission:
Under reserve of all obligation respect, the exporter takes commitment to remunerate the agent
as follows:
A free commission buying/selling basis. The commission for the agent will be the difference
between exporter’s wholesale price granted to agent and agent’s final price granted to
final customer.
The commission amount will be calculated on EXW wholesale prices granted to agent (annex 2).
As the commission is a free buying/selling basis, agent will be remunerated directly on his sales
by final customer payment.
Commission is due to agent during all period of contract validity. No commission are or will be
due to agent for sales prior to contract validity and after contract ending, even if sales results
from clients attracted by agent during the contract period.
Commercial promotion costs
All the costs for prospecting and promotion engaged by the agent are at his own charge.
His commission remuneration scale must include these costs and agent cannot claim
reimbursement of costs beside the exporter.
All the costs engaged for the promotion of the exporter’s product which have an event aspect
(fair, exhibiton or other) will be negotiated apart from this contract between the agent and the
exporter.
Law and litigation:
The contract is submitted to the French law for all relations between the agent and the exporter.
In case of any litigation between the exporter and the agent, the parties have obligation to try to
settle their litigation by mutual mediation.
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In case of mutual mediation failure, both parties have to try to settle their litigation by a third
party mediation choose by common agreement of both parties. If no agreement is found by both
parties, the exporter choice of third party will be considered.
In case of third party mediation failure, both parties have to settle their litigation beside French
court of Limoges, France.
Contract duration:
The contract is established for a duration period of 1 year from signature date.
The contract will be automatically renewed by both parties except otherwise stated and for a
duration period of 1 year from contract’s birthday date.
Contract cancellation:
The contract will be cancelled in following cases:
 Non-respect of agent commitments
 Non-respect of exporter commitments
 Exporter or agent wish. In such a case, the party wishing cancellation has to send a
letter by mail to other party stipulating contract’s ending. From date of letter, cancellation
of contract will take effect in a 1 month time.
In any case of cancellation, no fees and or compensation could be claim by one of the party or
both parties.
Language:
Language of the contract and all relations will be made in English.
Copies:
The contract is established in two (2) original copies.
Date and Signature:
Established in 2 originals, on Tuesday, October, 05th 2004.
For and behalf of ROMAN JUSTS
Roman Justs
President
© Christopher Goddard 2015
For and behalf of ATELIER D’ART DE
LIMOGES
Pascal Guinot
President
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VI. WRITING CLEARLY: ACCURACY, PUNCTUATION,
SUMMARIZING TEXT
No one agrees with other people’s opinions, they merely agree with their own
opinions expressed by someone else. – Sybil Taylor (Sydney Tremayne)
Professional Writing Style
Good grammar is only the first step towards good writing. To write effectively,
you have to communicate clearly. Communication skills are vital to lawyers,
especially in international or EU contexts. Indeed, it is probably true to say that
the quality of lawyers is most often judged by their written communication skills.
Several reasons may explain why individuals’ professional writing skills are
inadequate. These, summarized in brief, are that skills acquired during studies:
 may not include writing skills at all, or
 may consist of the kind of writing skills that are not appropriate to
professional writing.
A third factor is that much professional writing is itself of poor quality. For
example, the “Fight the Fog” website contains examples of poor writing in EU
contexts.
It is not an easy task to improve professional writing. But the most successful
writing is clear, logical, factual, concise, and persuasive.
1. Writing it Clearly
A. Use variety in Sentence Structure.
Structurally, sentences can be loose, periodic or balanced.
Loose sentences are those with subject and predicate close together. The
subject is who or what the sentence is about; the predicate tells what the subject
did. The typical word order in a loose sentence is
Subject – verb – object,
e.g.:
Subject
Predicate
Verb
Object
The court/ will consider/ plaintiff’s proposal to postpone the case.
In long or complex sentences, loose sentence structure helps the
reader to understand meaning.
Periodic sentences, on the other hand, contain interrupters – such as
parenthesis – between subject and verb. Indeed, the verb may appear at the
end, as in German. For example:
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A statute or final judgment promulgated by any member state of
the EU or any of its or their courts which offends against the
European Convention on Human Rights (“ECHR”) on the ground
of its being in violation of the provisions express or implied
therein or otherwise contrary to the aims and intentions of the
ECHR may be examined as to its validity by the European Court
of Human Rights.
In this sentence the subject appears in line 1 but you had to read several more
lines to find the verb and the rest of the predicate. This is just a small example.
Only the need to understand the material would lead the reader to fight through
to the end of the sentence.
How to reword this sentence?
Answers 50
This is not to suggest that you should always avoid periodic sentences. If you
use them strategically, and not too often, they can add interest, variety, even
drama to your writing:
On that winter’s evening shortly before Christmas, when snow
was falling outside and clients in the bar were relaxing, glass
in hand, in front of a warm fire with happy thoughts and
cheerful conversation, nobody knew that the defendant was
planning a grenade attack at midnight.
However, you need interesting material to do this! It might be more appropriate
in literature. Moreover, it could be effective in spoken legal English – e.g., an
advocate in court.
Balanced sentence structure adds elegance to your writing. Consider this:
Judges have the power… though not the right, to ignore the
terms of reference of a statute, and to give judgment despite
its clear intent. They have the power, but not the right, to go
beyond limits set by previous judicial decisions, by precedent,
by custom. None the less, by abusing that power, they violate
the law.
In this piece of text, periodic structure is used in the final sentence – and the
important point appears at the end. We will deal with this in more detail when
we come to placing and emphasizing ideas.
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B.
Appropriate language to show causality or logic
In the following sentence, and is a bad choice:
“If one party acts in bad faith and violates the contract and fails to pay on time,
the other party may claim interest on late payment".
How to rewrite this?
Answers 51
C.
Replace unclear connecting words by specific words with clear
meaning
This text is grammatically correct.
“Having breached human rights standards, the government was censured by the
court”.
How to make it look better?
Answers 52
Another example – here a transition to a new paragraph;
“Anyhow, the examples given clearly demonstrate the unsatisfactory state of the
law”.
How to improve this?
Answers 53
D.
Use affirmative language
1. Negative statements lack force
Negative statements simply deny, or avoid reality, e.g.:
“He did not carry out his legal responsibility”.
Rewrite to add force:
Answers 54
2. Negative statements can be confusing
One example is enough:
“Without negating the effect of the Convention, conduct, if not indicating
intention to produce a result not in line with human rights norms, shall not be
held insufficient to justify temporary non-compliance with its relevant provisions”.
How to improve this sentence?
Answers 55
General rule: if a sentence contains more than one negative, rewrite it.
3. Negative statements can be ambiguous
The following statement has two possible meanings:
“Britain’s crime problem is not being able to attract and hold its police officers”.
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What are the two meanings?
Answers 56
4. Don’t use all with negatives
To say “All lawyers are liars” is clear in meaning – if inaccurate in fact!
However, to say “All lawyers are not liars” suggests that some lawyers are. This
assertion is synonymous with “Not all lawyers are liars”. The antonym of “All
lawyers are liars” is “No lawyers are liars”, or “No lawyer is a liar”.
Imagine you see the following on the notice board:
“On Tuesday August 27, all witnesssses need not attend”
What the notice wants to say is that some witnesses must attend, others not.
What should the notice say?
Answers 57
E.
Avoid expletives where possible
In grammar, expletives are words used to complete a sentence only for
grammatical reasons. That is, they are there only to satisfy grammar rules. For
example, in:
“There is no reason to delay” and
“It is easy to draft position papers”
The words ‘There’ and “It” are expletives.
Note: this may be acceptable in spoken English, which follows different rules.
How to rewrite these sentences more effectively?
Answers 58
In professional writing, use of an expletive instead of the real subject may
prevent the reader from knowing who or what the real subject is. Consider the
following:
(1) There was a copyright infringement because defendant used protected
material without licence or payment.
(2) It is a possibility that not enough countries will ratify the Convention.
(3) It was indicated in Renault that public policy in one EU Member State cannot
be invoked to block cross-border enforcement of judgments.
Missing from these sentences is the answer to the question Who? or What? Who
infringed copyright? Who or what will (not) ratify – or be ratified? Who or what
indicated?
Rewrite these sentences. Remember, it is better to tell the reader who
did what to whom.
Answers 59
So far as you can, be sure to tell your reader “who did it”. Exceptions – where
the subject is unknown, or the object is more important than the subject, or the
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actor wants to remain unidentified. In these cases, use the passive [see example
(2) above, also under Passives later in this compendium] or expletives, e.g.,
“There has been a terrible tragedy here”.
Be sure to make individuals, courts and other actors the “doers”, instead of
things or ideas or rules.
F.
Put modifiers where they belong
Put modifiers next to the words they modify. Consider the following form of
consent to hospital surgery:
I hereby authorize the Physician or Physicians in charge to
administer such treatment and the surgeon to have administered
such anesthetic as found necessary to perform this operation
which is advisable in the treatment of this patient.
In this case, the patient’s widow sued after the surgeon amputated the wrong
bits.
What was the result – and why?
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Indeed, courts have so often been asked to construe modifying language that
they have called it The Doctrine of the Last Antecedent. Under this doctrine,
courts assume that drafters place modifying words and phrases next to what
they want to modify. Sometimes it is enough to add a comma. Here are some
examples:
 The proposed statute was considered unsatisfactory due to failure to qualify
with human rights norms by legislators.
 Plaintiff was a passenger in a motorbus attacked by the chauffeur.
 The robber entered the café and threatened the waiter standing by the wall
with a pistol.
Note: be careful where you put words like only and probably.
G.
Variation: too much or too little
Using different words for the same thing may be elegant - but confusing.
Thus, elegant variation is unfriendly to good legal writing, which requires clarity.
For example, a text referring to:
 breaches of human rights,
 human rights violations,
 human rights abuses,
 failure to observe human rights norms, and
 non-compliance with human rights legislation
… may be good literary writing, but it is poor legal writing.
What should the author have done?
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Answers 61
On the other hand, many words in legal English have two or more different
meanings (e.g., execute, as we have already seen). To use both or all in one
piece of text can be confusing, so that variation becomes necessary. Consider
the following:
“Sanctions may be applied to businesses that trade with Iraq without having
applied for government sanction”.
How to rewrite?
Answers 62
Can you think of other words in legal English (or other legal languages)
with two or more meanings?
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H.
Avoid adjective buildup
Long lines of adjectives before a noun are popular in business and official
English. In this, they show the Germanic roots of the English language.
Sometimes they succeed, but often they do not, especially where the
adjectives are in fact nouns or verbs used as adjectives. Let’s see how it
can happen…
A group of lawyers in the Baltic region are interested in human rights. They
decide to form an association, the Baltic region human rights lawyers’
association. They appoint an executive committee, which becomes the Baltic
region human rights lawyers’ association executive committee. The executive
committee is going to form an agenda for the association’s annual meeting. This
becomes the Baltic region human rights lawyers’ association executive committee
annual planning agenda meeting. The committee decides to set up the agenda
on Tuesday April 6 at the City Park Hotel in Vilnius. As a member of the
committee, you receive the following:
The Baltic region human rights lawyers’ association
executive committee annual planning agenda Tuesday
April 6 meeting will take place at the City Park Hotel,
Vilnius.
I.
Don’t shift your point of view
You must tell your readers if you change the subject or object of your sentence.
You will cause confusion and misunderstanding if you do not.
Here is an example (I have added the unanswered questions):
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“Although building regulations should provide for owners of historic houses some
relief from the financial burden of maintaining their property for public benefit,
decline in market value and diminished expectations are not sufficient injuries to
constitute a taking of property without fair compensation”.
What is the problem with this text?
Answers 64
How to improve the text?
Answers 65
In short, be sure to say who did what to whom in every sentence.
Note: this last is a general suggestion – i.e., not always possible, or even
advisable, to follow! – but nevertheless a useful basis.
Punctuation Marks
REFLECTION
Here are the names of the punctuation marks in English. When do we use
them? Which are not appropriate in formal writing?
,
;
:
’
()
--
comma
semi-colon
colon
apostrophe
brackets/parentheses
dash
.
?
“” ‘’
!
…
full stop (period) or dot
question mark
quotation marks
exclamation mark
hyphen
ellipsis
EXERCISE
Punctuate the following sentences:
1) The european commission has concluded an agreement with the US
department of homeland security dhs guaranteeing protection in the US
for the personal data of EU transatlantic air passengers
2) The commission found that the dhs offered adequate protection pursuant
to the EU data protection directive the Directive
3) The agreement aims to ensure that less personal data from passenger
name records pnr held by airlines will be passed to the US authorities that
such personal data will be kept for a shorter period of time and will be
used for limited purposes notably the fight against terrorism
4) Furthermore the deal provides for reciprocity so that when the EU or its
member states establish similar requirements the US authorities will
cooperate accordingly.
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5) It should be noted however that the european parliament EP adopted a
resolution on 31 march 2004 rejecting the Commission’s decision and
requesting that it adopt a more substantial agreement with the US.
6) On 21 april 2004 the EP asked the european court of justice ECJ for an
opinion on whether the international agreement should have been
approved on the grounds that it modifies the directive
EC secures guarantees for protecting transatlantic air passenger personal data
Adapted from Baker & Mackenzie Commecial newsletter June 2004.
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PUNCTUATION PROBLEMS
EXERCISE
Can you add punctuation marks to the following sentences?
1. The EU formed with just six members had expanded its membership to
twenty-five by 2004.
2. When the court convenes its first task will be to prioritize its caseload.
3. If the national court is unsure of how to apply EU law it may refer the
case to the ECJ for a preliminary ruling.
4. The government having done all it could to stabilize the military
situation turned to the next problem which was the humanitarian
crisis.
5. The draft law that Parliament is debating this morning concerns the
energy sector.
6. The draft law which Parliament is expected to pass in the near future
will affect producers and consumers in the energy sector. [only one
law]
7. She took up her position as judge which was a great experience in July
2003 and completed it three years later.
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Commas
Commas are probably the most difficult punctuation mark to use correctly in
English. This is largely because in many other languages, they are automatic in
certain situations where they are optional or unnecessary in English. To further
complicate matters, they are often a question of style in English. What follows is
a general guide to help you use them correctly.
Commas must be used in the following situations:
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1) Before or around non-defining relative clauses (see above for more
information) e.g.,
Yesterday I met Lenka, who(m) I hadn’t seen for a long time.
Lenka, who is a journalist, is an old friend.
2) After or around some linking words, e.g.,
The work was difficult. Nevertheless, they enjoyed themselves.
The work was difficult. They did, however, enjoy themselves.
3) Between an introductory clause and the main part of the sentence (see
linking words and style for more information).
Having been trained as a shipping law specialist, she found human rights
work challenging.
Although the work was difficult, they enjoyed themselves.
They enjoyed themselves although the work was difficult*
*In this sentence, comma after although is optional, and would increase the
contrast.
NOTE: In English, unlike in many other languages, we do not use commas in the
following situations:
1) Before the word that
I trust that you will return the money I lent you.
2) Before the word because
I trust him because he has always paid me in the past.
3) After the word please
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have further questions.
Bullet Points
REFLECTION
Bullet points are often used – and often used inconsistently – in business
correspondence. Do you know how to use them correctly? How to punctuate
them?
EXERCISE
The following two lists have been incorrectly punctuated. Make the necessary
changes to correct them.
Action at an EU level should, in particular, focus in three areas:

improving the regulatory environment

better mobilising different Community policies so they can work together
to support competitiveness
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ensuring the impact of a European industrial policy in specific sectors
involving stakeholders
The Communication seeks to pursue a proactive approach which means:

An improvement of the regulatory framework for competition which
facilitates business activity, wide dissemination of knowledge and efficient
economic restructuring;

An enforcement practice which actively removes barriers to entry and
impediments to effective competition that most seriously harm
competition in the internal market.
Adapted from IP/04/501 The Commission puts industry centre stage and reinforces
competitiveness in an enlarged European Union
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Test Your Writing Skills
TASK
You are one of a team that prepares reports and legal
memoranda for Member State governments based on
decisions of the European Court of Justice. Based on the two
texts – one below, the other at Document file VI (p.) 53,
prepare a short summary memorandum. To help, some of the
key words and expressions are clearly marked. First, you will
have to analyze the text of the judgment, as we did earlier.
You will also need to identify the key words and terminology.
We will discuss and agree criteria to follow in your written
work.
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Leading articles
September 14, 2005
Legal trespass
The European Court has gravely undermined the sovereignty
of EU states
For the first time in its 53 year existence, the European Court
of Justice has given the Commission in Brussels the power to
impose criminal sanctions. In a landmark ruling that is as
ominous as it is deluded, the Luxembourg based court
yesterday overruled the governments of EU member states,
removing from them the sole right to impose their own
penalties on people or companies breaking the law, and
giving the unelected EU Commission an unprecedented role
in the administration of criminal justice.
The pretext for this transparent attempt at empire-building
beyond the boundaries laid down for Europe’s bureaucrats was the
claim by Brussels that it had the right to insert criminal penalties into
laws to protect the environment. The Commission said that unless it
did so, its attempt to halt cross-border pollution would be ineffective.
But in 2001, 11 of the 15 members, including Britain, insisting that
only a national government had the right to fine or jail its citizens,
vigorously opposed this action. Instead they proposed a “framework
decision”, excluding the Commission and including only governments,
to deal with transgressors. The Commission called in the lawyers
and, extraordinarily, the European Court agreed that it had the right
to impose criminal sanctions.
This is a dangerous step in the wrong direction. The
Commission, chafing at criticism that it is too powerful and too
interfering, has been itching to reassert its authority. It is not a
sovereign power but a civil service executive, supposedly appointed
to serve EU common interests. In recent years the Commission has
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worried that its right to initiate legislation, under the Treaty of
Rome, was being eroded. EU ministers, when discussing urgent
issues such as terrorism, sometimes came up with their own
proposals for new laws. But to retaliate by trespassing on the sole
right of governments to imprison their citizens is a serious expansion
of and misunderstanding of the Commission’s role.
The ruling also reveals the mindset of the court, and confirms
the lingering suspicion that, when faced with a choice between
subsidiarity or strengthening the EU’s federal powers it will,
invariably, choose the latter. The decision highlights the contradiction
at the court’s very heart — of course a federal court will expand
federal powers. It gives substance to all the worries in Britain
and those countries that have voted against the EU constitution that
any point vague enough to require legal clarification would
always prompt a ruling reinforcing the EU’s central
bureaucracy and federal power. This lamentable judgment
strikes at the heart of national sovereignty and Britain’s ability to
decide the law for itself.
The Commission is entitled to argue that draft laws should be
effective. But it is up to elected national governments to
define and enforce the law. Already, elated Commission
officials are proposing similar criminal penalties in other areas. It is
not their right. Democracy yesterday suffered a grievous defeat in
a court whose contempt for sovereignty verges on the
criminal.
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VII. WRITING WITH PROFESSIONAL STYLE: TECHNIQUES FOR
LAWYERS
The Lawyer’s Progress – getting on, getting honour, getting honest. Sybil
Taylor (Sydney Tremayne)
USING ACTION VERBS FOR EMPHASIS
A verb made into a noun is called a “nominalization”. For example, the verb
connect can be made into the noun connection, and the verb investigate can be
made into the noun investigation.
Nominalizations normally require a weak verb (such as make, as in make a
connection, or conduct, as in conduct an investigation). This weak-verb/noun
combination is less direct, less emphatic, and less energetic than its more concise
action verb equivalent (connect or investigate).
Many writers choose nominalizations them over verbs whenever they are given
the choice.
Why might this be? And what might be the problem?
Answers 69
Rewrite the following sentences in verb-energized style:
Noun-heavy style
Verb-energized style
Make a revision in the contract.
We need to undertake a study of
this issue.
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Please take under consideration
my proposal.
The bodyguard offered protection to
his boss when the gunmen made an
approach.
It is my recommendation that we
make a change in our policy.
My suggestion is that we make a
reduction in our overhead costs.
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Note: Choosing adjectives rather than verbs can also obscure action and
depress energy. Look, for example, at “These figures are indicative that our
trade deficit is dependent partly on the strength of the dollar”.
How to improve this?
Answers 71
EXERCISE
In the following sentences, change the nominalizations to action verbs where
appropriate. (In some instances, you should retain the nominalizations, for
reasons discussed below).
1.
2.
3.
4.
The national court judge made the decision to arrange referral of the
case to the ECJ.
The parties decided to reach a resolution out of court.
The political commentators made some speculation about the reason
for the collapse of the government.
Our recommendation is that you make an application for security for
costs as a protective measure against defendant’s inability to pay.
My suggestion is that you undergo registration on arrival.
5.
.
Answers 72
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Useful Nominalizations
Under certain circumstances, however, the nominalized form of a verb can be
useful. In fact, sometimes we cannot manage without them. There are four
instances when nominalization works to your advantage.
1.
When it is a subject that refers to a previously expressed topic
or action.
For example, in the sentence, “This decision can lead to costly
consequences”, the nominalized word decision links the sentence to
the one that precedes it, so creating a more cohesive flow.
Note the usefulness of the nominalization discussion in this sentence:
“Although we debated the issue for hours, our discussion was
inconclusive”.
2.
When it replaces the awkward phrase “The fact that”.
Compare “The fact that she denied what he accused her of impressed
the committee” with “Her denial of his accusations impressed the
committee”.
3.
When it saves a few words by naming the object of a verb.
Compare “I failed to do what my boss expected me to do” with “I
failed to meet my boss’s expectations”.
4.
When it refers to a familiar concept.
Compare “I suggest you register when you arrive” with “I suggest you
register on arrival”.
Compare “The Master’s candidate reviewed the material before she
was examined orally” with “The Master’s candidate reviewed the
material before her oral examinations”.
Compare “The right to speak freely is protected by law” with “Freedom
of speech is protected by law”.
Compare “Being taxed when you’re not represented is unjust” with
“Taxation without representation is unjust”.
Despite their usefulness in these four instances, nominalizations should be used
cautiously.
Remember: To energize your writing, don’t nominalize - verbalize.
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Spoken v Written
EXERCISE
Write the more formal written equivalent to these spoken word or
phrases:
To make easier
To go up
To go down
OK, all right
Chance
Choice
Thing
Get in touch
To tell
A lot
To ask for
More information
Let me know if the date is all right
Enough
To guess
We are sorry
To need
To get
To buy
To be different
To give
Pluses and minuses
Big problems
Short chat
About
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Really
Good for you
Also
Maybe
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COMMON PHRASAL VERBS
EXERCISE
Write the more formal written equivalent to these spoken word or
phrases:
To weigh up
To set up
To run out (of money)
To cut down on (expenses)
To fill in (a form)
To come across (difficulties)
To find out
To keep up (machinery/a building)
To deal with (problems)
To take on (employees)
To lay off (employees)
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Formality
EXERCISE
The following sentences are grammatically correct. However, several phrases are
inappropriate for formal writing. Make the necessary changes.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
Maybe this will make problems with the competition authorities.
During our investigation, we found the following mistakes.
We don’t think you will have to pay a penalty this time.
We were unable to get all the documentation we needed.
We are sure that these steps will cut down your corporate tax liability by
about 20 per cent.
A lot of the so-called facts in the report were not correct.
You should get in touch with a good criminal lawyer to help you deal with
these things.
We really hope the above answers all your questions about employment
law.
Our corporate guy told me he went over those forms again and didn’t find
any problems.
Normally the government gives tax breaks to companies who set up a
business in the poorer areas of the country.
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Informal to Formal
EXERCISE
What follows is an informal email to a client (Jakko Olafsson) that the business
advisor (Marina Kamenskaya) knows well. It was typed quickly and, while it
provides all the necessary information, could be better written. Make any
changes you can think of to make it a formal, well-constructed letter.
Jakko
Thanks for getting us to do the work about you setting up in business. I’ll try
hard to make sure that everything goes OK. I’ll do most of the work myself, but
a man called Vitas Apenditsaitis who works here knows about your case and you
can call either of us when you want.
We work out the charges on how much time I and other people here who help
me take to do the work. My price is USD 130 each hour. I can’t say for sure how
long it will take to do the work, but I reckon it’ll be around 10 hours, but this
may change when I start and get a better idea of what needs doing. I’ll tell you
if we’re going to take longer than I said.
You’ve asked us to do various things in relation to setting up your business.
Here’s an idea of the priceof our work etc:
Help in doing a business plan= USD 250 + tax; doing the work about buying
buildings=USD 400 + tax, making up the contracts for the workers=USD 170 +
tax. You’ve also got to pay for extra things which are the Land Book fee of USD
100 and other official fees to do with the building you’re going to buy (USD 215).
If this deal collapses before the end,we’ll charge you for the work done up to
then, as well as tax and extras. We usually get people to pay a bit before we
start work, to pay for the costs and the extras that I talked about. So you have
to send us USD 150 now. Tell me if you can’t pay for anything we ask for on
time.
If all this is OK for you, can you digitally sign a copy of this email and send it
back to me. If you want to know anything elase, please tell me.
From
Marina
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Word Order and Style
In English the structure Subject/Verb/Object is usually preferred. Sentences
structured in this way are easier for native speakers to follow and often more
concise.
EXERCISE
The following sentences are unclear and difficult because they use different
structures. Please re-order these sentences along the SVO model and make
other changes to make them clearer. Using modal verbs is often the best
solution. Be careful of overusing the structure there is/are and the use of
passives.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
There was no evidence for the claimants’s allegation of bad faith provided.
There should be performed an investigation into the affairs of the
company.
Assessed every ten years by the government is the rental value of the
property.
It is necessary to complete the form by 15 April.
It is possible that it will be necessary for the firm to hire a part-time
human resources consultant.
Exempt from the tax on movable capital of 32% are interest from bank
deposits, government debentures and treasury bills.
Furthermore, for eligible firms, there is a possibility to deduct another
10%.
Subject to taxes is only 80% of net profits realized from industrial
activities and if the industrial entity carries out export activities, then 70%
only of the net profit attributable to this activity is subject.
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EDITING FOR EMPHASIS: FIVE TECHNIQUES
Technique 1: “Omit needless words”.
Technique2: Cut sentence endings to create emphasis.
Technique3: Use sentence beginnings as points of
natural prominence.
Technique4: Prefer action verbs to nominalizations.
Technique5: Don’t trust modifiers.
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EXERCISE: Rewrite these sentences by following the rules given.
Technique 1: “Omit needless words”. (= Make every word count)
a.
The key thing to remember is that timing is a very important issue that
must be taken into consideration.
b.
I hope and trust we will finish in a timely fashion.
c.
The wanted person is tall of stature, large in size, male in gender,
white in colour, and dangerous in character.
d.
In order to qualify for EU structural funds, you must meet these
criteria.
e.
During the course of his summing up, the judge carefully evaluated the
evidence.
Technique 2: Cut sentence endings to create emphasis. (= Place
important words at sentence endings for “VIP” emphasis).
a.
We need to do something now about the problems we are
experiencing.
b.
Our commitment to our clients is a genuine and long-standing one.
c.
Restructuring is not an easy thing to do.
d.
An important factor that must be addressed is the age factor.
Technique 3: Use sentence beginnings as points of natural prominence.
a.
You have asked the court on two occasions so far to grant an
adjournment on short notice.
b.
This Court has never had to deal with such a serious case.
Technique 4: Prefer action verbs to nominalizations.
a.
A revision needs to be made in the contract.
b.
Please take under consideration our proposal.
c.
We need to undertake a study of this issue.
d.
My suggestion is that the implementation of this policy be done with
care.
e.
My recommendation is that we make a change in the per diem for
travel expenses.
Technique 5: Don’t trust modifiers.
a.
We need to take very immediate action.
b.
We are having trouble establishing the true facts of the situation.
c.
This effectively limits our ability to respond quickly.
d.
When asked to adjourn the case for the fourth time, the judge
literally exploded.
Answers 78
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AVOIDING UNNECESSARY WORDS
Almost every writing handbook urges you to write in simple, natural language.
There are five main problems; redundant pairs, redundant modifiers, redundant
categories, meaningless modifiers and pompous diction. Here are some examples
from each category.
Redundant Pairs
English has a long tradition of doubling words.
Do you know the origin of the habit?
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Examples of commonly used redundant pairs include:
at or about
any and all
one and only
various and sundry
first and foremost
basic and fundamental
full and complete
questions and problems
true and accurate
precious and few
hopes and desires
few and far between
hope and trust
and so on and so forth
each and every
How to improve these phrases?
Answers 80
Redundant Modifiers
In the following examples, (except for “consensus of opinion”), the first word not
only modifies but implies the meaning of the second. Only the second word is
necessary to convey the meaning.
How to improve these phrases?
completely finish
past memories
various different
each individual
basic fundamentals
true facts
important essentials initial
future plans
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personal beliefs
consensus of opinion
sudden crisis
terrible tragedy
end result
final outcome
preparation(s)
free gift
Redundant Categories
Because certain words imply categories, it isn’t necessary to state both the
specific word and its general category.
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How to improve these phrases?
period of time
odd in appearance
period in time
of a cheap quality
shiny in appearance honest in character
accurate manner
of an uncertain condition
government systems
in a confused state
large in size
unusual in nature
pink in colour
extreme in degree
of a bright colour
of a strange type
heavy in weight
economics field
round in shape
area of mathematics
at an early time
criminal problem
educational process
athletic activities
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AVOIDING WORDY EXPRESSIONS
Wordiness occurs where real meaning disappears because of unnecessary words.
The secret of good writing is to reduce each sentence to its cleanest
components. Think of a piece of writing like a meal, where meaning is the meat
– but too much sauce can hide the flavour of the meat.
Effective writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentence.
In the same way, a drawing has no
unnecessary lines, a machine no unnecessary parts and an athlete no
unnecessary fat – “lean and mean”.
For the writer, every word should be
important.
One way to achieve this is to learn how to recognize – and thus avoid using –
wordy expressions.
EXERCISE
The following examples show how some commonly used expressions can be
edited into more concise language.
EDIT THIS…
on the grounds that
for the reason that
due to the fact that
based on the fact that
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in view of the fact that
owing to the fact that
in spite of the fact that
at hand
I have here before me
in receipt of
as of this date
until such time as
in due course
prior to
subsequent to
at the conclusion of
on a daily basis
in this day and age
at this point in time
at the present time
at an early date
as soon as possible
at your earliest convenience
during the course of
during the time that
last but not least
in the final analysis
to make a long story short
over and done with
the bottom line is
in order to
so as to
as a matter of fact
in the event that
relative to
make reference to
in connection with
in regard to
as regards
with the possible exception of
for the purpose of
the question as to whether
thanking you in advance
take the liberty of
have the capability to
make a contribution to
take into consideration
of the understanding that
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of the opinion that
of the belief that
can’t help feeling
it is our understanding that
it is our opinion that
it is our belief that
it is our recommendation that
it is often the case that
in the amount of
a majority of
a number of
Answers 83
SUMMARY OF ELEMENTS OF GOOD LEGAL STYLE
GRAMMAR, USAGE AND PUNCTUATION
Serial commas: always use the serial comma – the reason for preferring the
final comma is that omitting it may cause ambiguity, whereas including it never
will.
Vogue words: avoid.
Subject-verb agreement: make the verb agree in number with its subject…
and keep your eye on the subject.
Ending sentences with prepositions: this is now acceptable.
Repeating numbers in parentheses: not normally necessary.
Contractions: are usually out of place in legal writing.
Enumerations: the best method for enumerating ideas is the straightforward
first, second and third.
Legal terminology: try to avoid.
Foreignisms: try to use a native English expression – use foreign expressions
as a last resort.
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Use clichés with caution: these are once-clever phrases, now used as a
formula. They may be used, especially to avoid a long sentence.
SUGGESTIONS FOR REVISING AND EDITING
1. Read out loud.
2. Omit needless words.
3. Rely primarily on action verbs and nouns.
4. Check for variety in sentence structure and length.
5. Make a topic sentence outline.
6. Check for transitional words and expressions.
7. Review the text’s visual design.
8. Check that your purpose is clear to the reader.
9. Proofread the entire document.
10. Ask a colleague to respond to your draft.
Revisiting some of the important rules
A. Use verbs, not nouns
Rewrite the following paragraphs, avoiding (as far as possible) "nominalisations".
Through the introduction of measures aimed at the creation of employment, it is
the intention of the Commission to facilitate the positive evolution of the
economic and social situation.
A request will be made to a firm of consultants to carry out an evaluation of the
resources needed to ensure the feasibility of the performance of these tasks by
the research centre.
B. Concrete, not abstract
Rewrite the following sentences, avoiding (as far as possible) abstract language.
This decisive innovation, which constitutes the outcome of research carried out
at Community level, offers the perspective of averting the danger of the eventual
disappearance of this species.
The objective established by the campaign is that of persuading Commission
officials to eliminate excessive verbosity, prolixity, complexity and obscurity from
their written communications.
C. Active or passive? What about the agent?
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Can you improve the following sentences by eliminating passive verbs and/or by
naming the agent? If not, why not?
Nothing has yet been done to tackle the drugs problem in the European Schools,
where marijuana and cannabis are smoked.
E-mail is being used to inform staff employed by the Commission concerning the
strategy being adopted under MAP 2000.
A decision has been taken at Council of Ministers level that a reduction should be
effected in the salaries paid by the Commission to its officials.
D. Obscurity
Simplify these verbose sentences.
1. It would be greatly appreciated if you could take steps to provide us with
the appropriate assistance within the shortest possible timeframe.
2. You are strongly advised that the appropriation of assets which are the
property of other natural or legal persons, and the removal of such assets
without the consent of the said persons, is strictly forbidden and that any
infringement of this provision will lead to the imposition of sanctions.
Done at Sinai, for the High Celestial Authority.
3. The fish were observed to exhibit a 100% mortality response.
4. Excuse me for asking, but could you possibly indicate to me the route
which, in your opinion, would optimally enable me to gain access to the
hub of this conurbation?
Answers 84
Additional Tasks in-class
Improve the following emails:
Dear Mr XXX,
I am writing to you on behalf of partner XXXX. Upon his request, I am sending
you an invoice specification. Please find it attached as a pdf file.
Please let me know if I can issue an invoice to ITS Testing Services (UK) Ltd?
Thank you in advance for your help.
Kind regards,
XX
________________________________________________________________
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Dear Mr. XXX,
Please find enclosed two invoices on behalf of (partner).
Please note that we have also included timecards from 15.06-22.06.2006.
I would kindly ask you to confirm both invoices, after your confirmation
I will send original documents by regular mail to your office.
Kind regards,
XX
_________________________________________________________________
Dear Mr XXX,
Mr XXXX is looking forward to meet with your delegation next
week in Riga. You will have dinner on Wendsday, 31 of May at 19:30.
Wheather in Latvia is quite springlike, variable clouds with some rainshowers, air
temperature 12...18, on coastal areas locally
11...13ºC. Yet nights are quite chilly, air temperature 4...9ºC.
Kind regards,
XX
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mr. XXXX
Hereby I would kindly ask is it suitable for you to meet with Mr.
XXXX on Monday (03.10.05) at 16:00 in our office.
Best regards
XX
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Managers,
Hereby I would kindly ask on behalf of (managing partner) is it suitable for you
to
postpone the next managers’ group meeting to *30.10-01.11 in Riga*.
Best regards,
XX
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mr. XXX YYY
Thank you for the message.
Mr. XXX is currently on holiday. He asked me to forward you his best greetings
and he gladly accepts the invitation to visit your office next time he shall come to
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London.
Wishing you a pleasant summer.
Best regards
XX
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mr. XXX,
Referring to our telephone conversation earlier today I confirm the meeting on
20 of October at 11:00 in your office with Mr. XXX YYYY and Mr. XXXX ZZZZZ,
Partner from our Lithuanian office.
Best regards,
XX
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Sir/Madame
I am contacting you on behalf Mr. XXX YYYYY, the Honorary Consul of Moldova
in Estonia. Mrs AAAA CCCCC from Estonian Encyclopedia Publishers forwarded us
three photos about Malta and she would like to know how she should sign these
photos. These photos will be published in Countries of the World as illustration to
the article on Malta. Could you be so kind and send us the information? Photos
are enclosed.
Photo 027 fields in mountain-how is the name of the mountain?
Photo 047 port - name of the port?
Photo 063 castle?- name and where the castle situates.
Thank you in advance
XX----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mr. XXXX BBBB,
I am writing to you on behalf of (partner).
Have you received the engagement letter? The application to start the
criminal case is almost ready. Please confirm us that you need our
further assistance.
Please find also enclosed the list of outstanding invoices issued to
you. I would kindly ask you inform us when we could expect the payment.
Sincerely,
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Dear Mr. SSS PPP,
I am writing to you on behalf of Mr. (partner) regarding the building
of (company) AS located at the address Bulimia tee 15b, Tallinn.
According to the Register of Constructions and the Immovable
Property Register, there is no information on a building located at
Bulimia tee 15b. But according to the Register of Constructions
(the extract is attached) there are many buildings registered at
Bulimia tee 15 and the building named "metropolis 2" might be the
building in question (with the address Bulimia tee 15b). It
is built this year and has 6 floors.
The land owner of Bulimia tee 15 is Tallinn University of Metrology
but the building title (registered lease that is transferable &
encumberable) is issued to Metropolis Tam AS for 24
years. The extract of the Immovable Property Register of Bulimia tee
15 is attached. According to the Commercial Register (please find
attached the relevant extract), Metropolis Tam AS has the
following stockholders: AS Mat (contribution EEK 500,010) and OÜ Tam
(contribution EEK 499,990).
OÜ Tam has 5 local shareholders and AS Mat has one local
stockholder (please find attached the relevant extracts).
If you need any further information, do not hesitate to contact us.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear HHH MMMM,
Our office in Vilnius has issued some invoices to your company.
I would kindly ask you to provide us your company VAT reg no.
With kind regards,
XX
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear RRR BBBBB,
Thank you very much for your email!
Our partner Mr. (partner) and lawyer Mr. (associate) are
pleased to meet Ms. JJJ FFFF on 8. March at 2:30 in our office.
Our office address is (address) 20, 4th floor.
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With kind regards,
XX
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mr. BBBBB,
Hereby I am writing to you on behalf of Mr (senior partner) from our firm who is
coming to Helsinki on Friday, 1 of September 2006. I
would kindly ask if you are intrested to have meeting with him on that
day at 12:00 in your office?
Mr. MMMM TTTTT recommended to contact with you.
Kind regards,
XX
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hi Wanda,
I think it would be better to send the documents together. I will delegate this
duty to Ieva, so please send the documents to Ieva first and Ieva will send them
to the client.
Is that OK for you?
And please also inform us when you could send the documents next week.
Best regards,
XX
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mr. CCCC,
I´m contacting you on behalf of Mr. (name), the managing partner of our firm,
and hereby I kindly ask you to register him to this workshop "Partner
Performance and Remuneration Workshop" on 19 October 2006.
Please send written confirmation to my e-mail.
Kind regards,
XX
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Dear TTTT,
I'm writing you on behalf of (managing partner) and he will like to know why
have you opened a case Establishment of Boditona UAB under Our Firm UAB.
Should the client not be Boditona UAB?
BR,
XX
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear JJJJ BBBBBB,
I`m contacting you on behalf of (partner) regarding the lost pension book. I
have sent an e-mail with the copy of the document to the Social Insurance Board
(they issue pension sertificates in Estonia) and they will treat this matter.
Kind regards,
XX
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Visas to Moldova
I’m writing on behalf of (managing partner).
I got one visa to Malta for JJJJ BBBB, already on May 22.
I am wondering if there are any problems with the other visa - a visa for JJJ
SSSSS. Are there any documents missing?**
Best regards,
XX---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear JJJJ BBBBB,
I am very sorry to inform you that our partner Mr. (partner) is unable to attend
the meeting as agreed. Would it be convenient for you to purspone the meeting
in our office to 17:00 on 23-05.
If the time is not suitable for you then we could arrange the meeting as agreed.
Then only Ms. TTTT NNNNN and Mr. LLLLLL YYYYY can take part in it.
Please, let me know, which time suits you.
Best Regards,
XX --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Further exercises: Test Your Vocabulary Skills
EXERCISE
Find synonyms (or antonyms, or meanings) for the words
and phrases marked.
Can you find ways to improve the text?
Adapted from “The Times” Law September 13 2005
Can one size really fit all the world’s economies?
COMPETITION LAW: the hurdles facing convergence.
Market driven economies have become the accepted orthodoxy around the world.
But markets can work efficiently and fairly only when regulated through a system of
competition law. Otherwise, cartels will arise and monopolies will abuse consumers.
That is why most developed countries, typified by the members of the European
Union, have introduced sophisticated competition regimes. But pressure is growing for
competition law to be more than a luxury for the wealthy, but also to be part of the
infrastructure of developing countries, too, as part of their drive for growth.
For developing countries — and many Commonwealth countries are in this group —
competition will eliminate corruption, which is the bane of the poor.
Despite the enormous disparities in wealth and sophistication of global economies,
there is a growing view of the benefits of adopting a similar system of competition
law. While the idea of sacrificing national autonomy to a system of global
competition rules enforced by supranational institutions would appear to be
unpalatable to most in the current climate, there is a growing consensus that
convergence of competition law in some form is needed in order to keep pace with
the growth of international trade.
Yet how realistic is this ambition? Support for the notion of competition law is growing.
As more and more developing countries embrace the market economy, they are
recognising the need to have a competition law and set up a competition authority.
Almost 100 countries have enacted modern competition laws.
Yet there is no clear consensus on what that law should look like. Even among the
developed countries, there is no uniform model. For example, a recent analysis of the
competition laws in 11 countries showed that there was an absence of uniformity in the
way that their aims and objectives had been formulated.
US competition law is ahead of that of other countries and has became a role model
for some countries, including, notably, Australia. The UK in some respects trailed
behind until, within the context of the European Union, its Competition Act became an
alternative world-leader, which has already spawned direct imitation in Singapore
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and elsewhere. Even so, it is hard to draw any hard and fast rules across
jurisdictions as a whole.
In effect it seems that, while competition law is being welcomed, each country has its
own specific analysis of what is right for its particular economic circumstances.
So what way forward for developing countries? Regarding the importance of competition
law and policy in national economies, some market players have expressed the
view that regulation of competition is nothing more than expansion of unnecessary
bureaucracy in the management of economic affairs by the Government.
One positive factor in favour of consistency is the emergence of regional economic
associations, or “common markets”. But this is still, often, at an embryonic stage.
This situation continues, because while some countries are discussing the
promulgation of a competition law, others are only beginning to envisage the
creation of a competition law in the very near future. This suggests that there is no
convergence.
Even so, despite the problems, some countries are pressing ahead and it is believed
that model laws will soon be submitted for consideration.
Ultimately, though, any competition law is only as good as the capacity of the local
judiciary to enforce it. However, internationally led law reforms are almost always
futile. You cannot impose solutions from outside. Whether success will crown such
endeavours remains to be seen.
Sources
Bhatia, V.K. (1993) Analysing Genre: Language in Professional Settings London: Longman.
Block, G. Effective Legal Writing for Law Students and Lawyers. New York. Foundation Press.
1999.
Baker & Mackenzie, Commercial law newsletter June 2004.
The European Commission
Hall, E. T. Beyond Culture. Garden City, N.Y.: Anchor Press, 1976.
Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School, Ithaca, NY.
Mellinkoff. D., The Language of the Law. 1963
Rosch & Segler 1987 in Victor, David (1992). International Business Communication.
HarperCollins: New York.
Selbourne, D. The Principle of Duty. Abacus. 1997.
Tremayne, S. (Sybil Taylor) Tatlings. David and Charles. 1974.
Tiersma, Peter, Legal Language, Chicago: U Chicago Press, 1999.
Wydick, R Plain English for Lawyers. Carolina Academic Press. 1998.
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APPENDIX
E-mail
E-mail
E-mail is used increasingly in the international world of business to replace
letters, memos, faxes and telephone calls. The three main reasons are because it
is convenient, inexpensive and because e-mail is easy to use within a networked
system. The style of writing will depend upon the purpose for writing and the
relationships of the correspondents. They are, however, more informal than any
other types of written communication.
Why use e-mail?
E-mail is fast, reliable and, once you know how, easy to use.
However, there are some points to consider:








Always consider your audience, and what kind of response you hope to
receive from them.
Think carefully about your purpose for writing, plan and organise your
ideas.
Adapt your style and tone of writing according to whom you are writing.
Consider who else might read your message. Never assume an e-mail is
private.
If you are sending something important, follow up with a fax and/or letter.
Some people do not read their emails regularly.
Each page is clearly numbered.
Print out e-mails and /or file copies.
E-mails are often used as method of transmission with a formal document
presented in a standard format as an attachment
Email etiquette
It is amazing to find that in this day and age, some companies have still not
realized how important their email communications are. Many companies send
email replies late or not at all, or send replies that do not actually answer the
questions you asked. Dealing professionally with email gives SLO that allimportant competitive edge. Moreover, SLO staff who know what can and cannot
be said in an email can protect SLO from awkward liability issues. This section
discusses the main etiquette rules and provides advice on how to ensure that
they are implemented.
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'By requiring employees to use appropriate, businesslike language in all
electronic communications, employers can limit their liability risks and improve
the overall effectiveness of the organization's e-mail and Internet copy in the
process' Why do you need email etiquette?
A company needs to implement etiquette rules for the following three reasons:
Professionalism: by using proper email language your company will convey a
professional image.
Efficiency: emails that get to the point are much more effective than poorly
worded emails.
Protection from liability: staff awareness of email risks will protect your firm
from costly lawsuits.
What are the etiquette rules?
There are many etiquette guides and many different etiquette rules. Some rules
will differ according to the nature of your business and the corporate culture.
Below we list that could be considered as the 32 most important email etiquette
rules that apply to nearly all companies.
32 most important email etiquette tips:
1. Be concise and to the point
2. Answer all questions, and pre-empt further questions
3. Use proper spelling, grammar & punctuation
4. Make it personal
5. Use templates for frequently used responses
6. Answer swiftly
7. Do not attach unnecessary files
8. Use proper structure & layout
9. Do not overuse the high priority option
10. Do not write in CAPITALS
11. Do not leave out the message thread
12. Add disclaimers to your emails
13. Read the email before you send it
14. Do not overuse Reply to All
15. Mailings > use the bcc: field or do a mail merge
16. Take care with abbreviations and emoticons
17. Be careful with formatting
18. Take care with rich text and HTML messages
19. Do not forward chain letters
20. Do not request delivery and read receipts
21. Do not ask to recall a message.
22. Do not copy a message or attachment without permission
23. Do not use email to discuss confidential information
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24. Use a meaningful subject
25. Use active instead of passive
26. Avoid using URGENT and IMPORTANT
27. Avoid long sentences
28. Don't send or forward emails containing libellous, defamatory, offensive,
racist or obscene remarks
29. Don't forward virus hoaxes and chain letters
30. Keep your language gender neutral
31. Don't reply to spam
32. Use cc: field sparingly
1. Be concise and to the point.
Do not make an e-mail longer than it needs to be. Remember that reading an email is harder than reading printed communications and a long e-mail can be
very discouraging to read.
2. Answer all questions, and pre-empt further questions.
An email reply must answer all questions, and pre-empt further questions – If
you do not answer all the questions in the original email, you will receive further
e-mails regarding the unanswered questions, which will not only waste your time
and your client’s time but also cause considerable frustration. Moreover, if you
are able to pre-empt relevant questions, your clientr will be grateful and
impressed with your efficient and thoughtful client service. Imagine for instance
that a client sends you an email asking which credit cards you accept. Instead of
just listing the credit card types, you can guess that their next question will be
about how they can pay, so you also include some payment information and a
URL to your terms of business page. Clients will definitely appreciate this.
3. Use proper spelling, grammar & punctuation.
This is not only important because improper spelling, grammar and punctuation
give a bad impression of your company, it is also important for conveying the
message properly. E-mails with no full stops or commas are difficult to read and
can sometimes even change the meaning of the text. And, if your program has a
spell checking option, why not use it?
4. Make it personal.
Not only should the e-mail be personally addressed, it should also include
personal i.e. customized content. For this reason auto replies are usually not very
effective. However, templates can be used effectively in this way, see next tip.
5. Use templates for frequently used responses.
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Some questions you get over and over again, such as directions to your office or
how to subscribe to your newsletter. Save these texts as response templates and
paste these into your message when you need them. You can save your
templates in a Word document, or use pre-formatted emails. Even better is a tool
such as ReplyMate for Outlook (allows you to use 10 templates for free).
6. Answer swiftly.
Clients send an e-mail because they wish to receive a quick response. If they did
not want a quick response they would send a letter or a fax. Therefore, each email should be replied to within at least 24 hours, and preferably within the same
working day. If the email is complicated, just send an email back saying that you
have received it and that you will get back to them. This will put the client's mind
at rest and usually clients will then be very patient!
7. Do not attach unnecessary files.
By sending large attachments you can annoy clients and even bring down their
e-mail system. Wherever possible, try to compress attachments and only send
attachments when they are productive. Moreover, you need to have a good virus
scanner in place since your clients will not be very happy if you send them
documents full of viruses!
8. Use proper structure & layout.
Since reading from a screen is more difficult than reading from paper, the
structure and layout is very important for e-mail messages. Use short paragraphs
and blank lines between each paragraph. When making points, number them or
mark each point as separate to keep the overview.
9. Do not overuse the high priority option.
We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf. If you overuse the high priority
option, it will lose its function when you really need it. Moreover, even if a mail
has high priority, your message will come across as slightly aggressive if you flag
it as 'high priority'.
10. Do not write in CAPITALS.
IF YOU WRITE IN CAPITALS IT SEEMS AS IF YOU ARE SHOUTING. This can be
highly annoying and might trigger an unwanted response in the form of a flame
mail. Therefore, try not to send any email text in capitals.
Flame Mail…
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11. Don't leave out the message thread.
When you reply to an email, you must include the original mail in your reply, in
other words click 'Reply', instead of 'New Mail'. Some people say that you must
remove the previous message since this has already been sent and is therefore
unnecessary. However, if you receive many emails you obviously cannot
remember each individual email. This means that a 'threadless email' will not
provide enough information and you will have to spend a frustratingly long time
to find out the context of the email in order to deal with it. Leaving the thread
might take a fraction longer in download time, but it will save the recipient much
more time and frustration in looking for the related emails in their inbox!
12. Add disclaimers to your emails.
It is important to add disclaimers to your internal and external mails, since this
can help protect your firm from liability. Consider the following scenario: an
employee accidentally forwards a virus to a client by email. The client decides to
sue your firm for damages. If you add a disclaimer at the bottom of every
external mail, saying that the recipient must check each email for viruses and
that it cannot be held liable for any transmitted viruses, this will surely be of help
to you in case of a claim. Another example: an employee sues the firm for
allowing a racist email to circulate the office. If your firm has an email policy in
place and adds an email disclaimer to every mail that states that employees are
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expressly required not to make defamatory statements, you have a good case of
proving that the firm did everything it could to prevent offensive emails.
13. Read the email before you send it.
Many people don't bother to read an email before they send it out, as can be
seen from the many spelling and grammar mistakes contained in emails. Apart
from this, reading your email through the eyes of the recipient will help you send
a more effective message and avoid misunderstandings and inappropriate
comments.
14. Do not overuse Reply to All.
Only use Reply to All if you really need your message to be seen by each person
who received the original message.
15. Mailings > use the Bcc: field or do a mail merge.
When sending an email mailing, some people place all the email addresses in the
To: field. There are two drawbacks to this practice: (1) the recipient knows that
you have sent the same message to a large number of recipients, and (2) you
are publicizing someone else's email address without their permission. One way
to get round this is to place all addresses in the Bcc: field. However, the recipient
will only see the address from the To: field in their email, so if this was empty,
the To: field will be blank and this might look like spamming. You could include
the mailing list email address in the To: field, or even better, if you have
Microsoft Outlook and Word you can do a mail merge and create one message
for each recipient. A mail merge also allows you to use fields in the message so
that you can for instance address each recipient personally. For more information
on how to do a Word mail merge, consult the Help in Word.
16. Take care with abbreviations and emoticons.
In business emails, try not to use abbreviations such as BTW (by the way) and
LOL (laugh out loud). The recipient might not be aware of the meanings of the
abbreviations and in business emails these are generally not appropriate. The
same goes for emoticons, such as the smiley :-). If you are not sure whether
your recipient knows what it means, it is better not to use it.
17. Be careful with formatting.
Remember that when you use formatting in your emails, the sender might not be
able to view formatting, or might see different fonts than you had intended.
When using colours, use a colour that is easy to read on the background.
18. Take care with rich text and HTML messages.
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Be aware that when you send an email in rich text or HTML format, the sender
might only be able to receive plain text emails. If this is the case, the recipient
will receive your message as a .txt attachment. Most email clients however,
including Microsoft Outlook, are able to receive HTML and rich text messages.
19. Do not forward chain letters.
Do not forward chain letters. We can safely say that all of them are hoaxes. Just
delete the letters as soon as you receive them.
20. Do not request delivery and read receipts.
This will almost always annoy your recipient before he or she has even read your
message. Besides, it usually does not work anyway since the recipient could have
blocked that function, or his/her software might not support it, so what is the
use of using it? If you want to know whether an email was received it is better to
ask the recipient to let you know if it was received.
21. Do not ask to recall a message.
Biggest chances are that your message has already been delivered and read. A
recall request would look very silly in that case wouldn't it? It is better just to
send an email to say that you have made a mistake. This will look much more
honest than trying to recall a message.
22. Do not copy a message or attachment without permission.
Do not copy a message or attachment belonging to another user without
permission of the originator. If you do not ask permission first, you might be
infringing on copyright laws.
23. Do not use email to discuss confidential information.
Sending an email is like sending a postcard. If you don't want your email to be
displayed on a bulletin board, don't send it. Moreover, never make any libellous,
sexist or racially discriminating comments in emails, even if they are meant as a
joke.
24. Use a meaningful subject.
Try to use a subject that is meaningful to the recipient as well as yourself. For
instance, when you send an email to a company requesting information about a
product, it is better to mention the actual name of the product, e.g. 'Product A
information' than to just say 'product information' or the company's name in the
subject.
25. Use active instead of passive.
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Try to use the active voice of a verb wherever possible. For instance, 'We will
process your order today', sounds better than 'Your order will be processed
today'. The first sounds more personal, whereas the latter, especially when used
frequently, sounds unnecessarily formal.
26. Avoid using URGENT and IMPORTANT.
Even more so than the high-priority option, you must at all times try to avoid
these types of words in an email or subject line. Only use this if it is a really,
really urgent or important message.
27. Avoid long sentences.
Try to keep your sentences to a maximum of 15-20 words. Email is meant to be
a quick medium and requires a different kind of writing than letters. Also take
care not to send emails that are too long. If a person receives an email that
looks like a dissertation, chances are that they will not even attempt to read it!
28. Don't send or forward emails containing libellous, defamatory,
offensive, racist or obscene remarks.
By sending or even just forwarding one libelous, or offensive remark in an email,
you and your firm can face court cases resulting in multi-million dollar penalties,
or at best a damaged reputation. One well-known law firm in the City of London
suffered damage to its reputation.1
29. Don't forward virus hoaxes and chain letters.
If you receive an email message warning you of a new unstoppable virus that
will immediately delete everything from your computer, this is most probably a
hoax. By forwarding hoaxes you use valuable bandwidth and sometimes virus
hoaxes contain viruses themselves, by attaching a so-called file that will stop the
dangerous virus. The same goes for chain letters that promise incredible riches
or ask your help for a charitable cause. Even if the content seems to be bona
fide, the senders are usually not. Since it is impossible to find out whether a
chain letter is real or not, the best place for it is the recycle bin.
30. Keep your language gender neutral.
1
The Claire Swire e-mail of 2000 was supposedly a very personal e-mail from Claire
Swire to Bradley Chait, who worked at Norton Rose, a law firm in London. He forwarded
it to six friends, one of whom in turn forwarded it further with the subject line of "Do you
know Claire Swire" until it spread worldwide within days, and received wide coverage in
newspapers and television. The author of the original email is in doubt, as Chait later
alleged that the email was a hoax perpetuated by colleagues.
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Language Tools for Legal Writing
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In this day and age, avoid using sexist language such as: 'The user should add a
signature by configuring his email program'. Apart from using he/she, you can
also use the neutral gender: ''The user should add a signature by configuring the
email program'.
31. Don't reply to spam.
By replying to spam or by unsubscribing, you are confirming that your email
address is 'live'. Confirming this will only generate even more spam. Therefore,
just hit the delete button or use email software to remove spam automatically.
32. Use cc: field sparingly.
Try not to use the cc: field unless the recipient in the cc: field knows why they
are receiving a copy of the message. Using the cc: field can be confusing since
the recipients might not know who is supposed to act on the message. Also,
when responding to a cc: message, should you include the other recipient in the
cc: field as well? This will depend on the situation. In general, do not include the
person in the cc: field unless you have a particular reason for wanting this
person to see your response. Again, make sure that this person will know why
they are receiving a copy.
How do you enforce email etiquette?
The first step is to create a written email policy. This email policy should include
all the do's and don'ts concerning the use of the company's email system and
should be distributed amongst all employees. Secondly, employees must be
trained to fully understand the importance of email etiquette. Finally,
implementation of the rules can be monitored by using email management
software and email response tools.
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