Triarchic Theory of Love, Attachment Style, and Reactions to Romantic
Communication
Donelson R. Forsyth
Virginia Commonwealth University, Dept of Psychology, College of Humanities and
Sciences; Richmond, VA, US
Little is known about how individuals respond to romantic communications from their partners,
particularly written communications. Even though the popular press often references widespread
differences in men's and women's level of comprehension of partner's messages, the empirical
literature suggests that individual differences in attachment, rather than gender per se, are more likely
to predict communication quality and empathy. The present study examined the impact of attachment
styles on reactions to romantic communication based on Sternburg's Triarchic Theory of Love.
Sternberg, like most theorists, assumes that long-term relations are often based on intimacy and
passion. Intimacy is the emotional component: the "close, connected, and bonded" feelings lovers
experience. This component corresponds, in many respects, to companionate love. Passion is the
motivational component. Like passionate love, it includes physical attraction, sexual desire, AND
sexuality. But Sternberg adds a cognitive component: decision/ commitment. Initially, this component
refers to the decision to enter into a relationship. In long-term relations this decision becomes a
commitment to the relationship. Words like loyalty, responsibility, faithfulness, and devotion
characterize commitment. Twelve variations of a love letter representing commitment, intimacy, and
passion were administered to 146 individuals enrolled in a psychology course at a midsized University
in the Southeast. We predicted that differences in attachment style would predict how individuals
respond to communications from others. Specifically, we predicted that model of self and other would
interact to predict overall acceptance of the positive message in a romantic communication, with
secure individuals responding most positively and dismissing individuals responding most negatively.
We predicted that individuals who are secure in their attachment tendencies will respond most
positively to an intimate, passionate, and commitment-expression romantic communication, while a
preoccupied individual would be most influenced by the commitment component, and that dismissing
individuals would react most to the intimacy component. Participants were randomly assigned to one
of the love letter conditions (passion, no passion, intimacy, low intimacy, commitment, no
commitment, neutral) and were asked to complete the Experiences in Close Relationships-R
Questionnaire, the Rosenburg Self-Esteem Scale, and to answer questions regarding the degree to
which the writer of the love letter was affectionate, loving, committed to the relationship, sexual, or
passionate, and to describe their own feelings toward the writer of the love letter. A 4 (attachment) x 2
(intimacy) x 2 (passion) x 3 (commitment) MANOVA was conducted and showed that individuals with
preoccupied attachment representations were more likely to react negatively to letters that were low in
commitment, dismissing individuals reacted negatively to high commitment romantic
communications, secure individuals reacted positively to love letters high in intimacy, passion, and
commitment, and fearful individuals reacted negatively to all communications. Given the dearth of
research examining reactions to written romantic communication by attachment style, the present
findings contribute nicely to the available literature by showing that Sternburg's model influences
reactions to communication based on attachment style.