CONTENTS
Dedication
Epigraph
Author’sNote
Introduction
1‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing’
2TheTarget
3Fear
4AnEscape
5TheStakes
6‘Idon’tknowwhatIwant’
7ActionandReaction
8‘Idon’tknowwhoIam’
9TheVisibleandtheInvisible
10Identity,PersonaandtheMask
11TheMatrix
12‘Idon’tknowwhereIam’
13‘Idon’tknowhowIshouldmove’
14Control
15‘Idon’tknowwhatIshouldfeel’
16‘Idon’tknowwhatI’msaying’
17TheImaginaryTextExercises
18Make-Believe
19‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mplaying’
20Time
21ThreeMoreUncomfortableChoices
Postscript
ANoteontheVerse
Appendix:TheBalconyScene
AbouttheAuthor
CopyrightInformation
ForNick
“Feverishlyweclearedawaytheremaininglastscrapsofrubbishonthefloorofthepassagebeforethe
doorway,untilwehadonlythecleansealeddoorwaybeforeus.Inwhich,aftermakingpreliminarynotes,
wemadeatinybreachinthetopleft-handcornertoseewhatwasbeyond.Darknessandtheirontesting
rodtoldusthattherewasemptyspace.Perhapsanotherdescendingstaircase,inaccordancewiththe
ordinaryroyalThebantombplan?Ormaybeachamber?Candleswereprocured–theall-importanttelltaleforfoulgaseswhenopeninganancientsubterraneanexcavation–Iwidenedthebreachandbymeans
ofthecandlelookedin,whileLd.C.,LadyE.,andCallenderwiththeReiseswaitedinanxious
expectation.ItwassometimebeforeIcouldsee,thehotairescapingcausedthecandletoflicker.
Therewasnaturallyashortsuspenseforthosepresentwhocouldnotsee.WhenLordCarnarvonsaidto
me,‘Canyouseeanything?’,Irepliedtohim,‘Yes,itiswonderful.’”
HowardCarter,1922,
takenfromhispersonaldiary,
AshmoleanMuseum,Oxford
AUTHOR’SNOTE
ThisbookwasoriginallypublishedinRussianin2000.However,NickHernhadcommissionedmeto
writeabookin1988,anddutifullyphonedmeeverysixmonthswonderingwhereitwas.Sotwelveyears
lateritoccurredtomethatareworkingoftheRussianbookwouldfulfilmypromise.Andhereitis,with
thanksforhiswelcometenacity.
Ihaveaddedsomeexercisesandanextrachapteronblankverse.Thetexthasshiftedalotasitwas
revisedforvarioustranslationsandtherevisedversionthatnowappearshasbeenthoroughlyreshapedby
allthoseinfluences.
Inshort,thenumberofpeopletowhomIamnowindebtedisfartoolongtobeincluded.Butparticular
thanksmustgotoDinaDodinaandJudithGreenwoodwhotoiledoverRussianandBritishmanuscripts
andwhoencouragedmefromStPetersburgandYorkshire,andalsotoStaceyMcNuttforherre-editing,
andtoMattApplewhiteandFionaWilliams.
DeclanDonnellan
London,2005
INTRODUCTION
Actingisamystery,andsoistheatre.Weassembleinaspaceanddivideintotwoparts,oneofwhich
enactsstoriesfortheremainder.Weknowofnosocietywherethisritualneverhappens,soitappearsthat
humanityhasaprofoundneedtowitnessacted-outrepresentations,fromtelevisionsoapoperatoGreek
Tragedy.
Atheatreisnotonlyaliteralplace,butalsoaspacewherewedreamtogether;notmerelyabuilding,
butaspacethatisbothimaginativeandcollective.Theatreprovidesasafeframewithinwhichwecan
exploredangerousextremitiesinthecomfortoffantasyandthereassuranceofagroup.Ifevery
auditoriumwererazedtotheground,theatrewouldstillsurvive,becausethehungerineachofustoact
andbeactedto,isgenetic.Thisintensehungerevencrossesthethresholdofsleep.Forwedirect,
performandwitnessperformanceseverynight–theatrecannotdiebeforethelastdreamhasbeendreamt.
‘IamthereforeIact’
Ababyisbornnotonlywithanexpectationof‘mother’and‘language’,butalsowithananticipationof
‘acting’;thechildisgeneticallypreparedtocopybehavioursthatitwillwitness.Thefirsttheatrical
performanceababyenjoysiswhenitsmotheractsoutappearinganddisappearingbehindapillow.‘Now
youseeme;nowyoudon’t!’Thebabygurglesaway,learningthatthismostpainfulevent,separationfrom
themother,mightbepreparedforanddealtwithcomically,theatrically.Thebabylearnstolaughatan
appallingseparation,becauseitisn’treal.Mummyreappearsandlaughs–thistime,atleast.Aftera
whilethechildwilllearntobetheperformer,withtheparentasaudience,playingpeek-a-boobehindthe
sofa;andeventuallythegamewillevolveintothemoresophisticated‘hideandseek’,withmultiple
performers,andevenawinner.Eating,walking,talking,allaredevelopedbyobservation,performance
andapplause.Wedevelopoursenseofselfbypractisingrolesweseeourparentsplayandexpandour
identitiesfurtherbycopyingcharactersweseeplayedbyelderbrothers,sisters,friends,rivals,teachers,
enemiesorheroes.Youcannotteachchildrenhowtoactoutsituations,preciselybecausetheyalreadydo
–theywouldn’tbehumaniftheydidn’t.Indeed,welivebyactingroles,beitfather,mother,teacheror
friend.Actingisareflex,amechanismfordevelopmentandsurvival.Thisprimitiveinstincttoactisthe
basisofwhatismeantby‘acting’inthisbook.Itisnot‘secondnature’,itis‘firstnature’andsocannotbe
taughtlikechemistryorscubadiving.So,ifactinginitselfcannotbetaught,howcanwedeveloportrain
ourabilitytoact?
Attention
Ourqualityofactingdevelopsandtrainsitselfwhenwesimplypayitattention.Infact,allwecanbe
‘taught’aboutactingaredoublenegatives.Forexample,wecanbetaughthownottoblockournatural
instincttoact,justaswecanbetaughthownottoblockournaturalinstincttobreathe.Ofcoursewecan
learnamultitudeofstyliseddevelopmentsofournaturalreflexes.TheNohactorinJapanmaytake
decadestoperfectasinglegesture,astheballerinawillsweatyearsdevelopingfeatsofmuscularcontrol.
ButalltheNohmaster’svirtuositywillgoforlittleifhisornatetechniquerevealsnothingbutornate
technique.Thishighlycontrolledartmustappear,insomeway,spontaneous.Thosewhoappreciatethis
specialisedformcandiscerntheflickerofalertnessthatquickenseachancientgesture.Thedifferencein
qualitybetweenoneperformanceandanotherisnotintechniquealone,butinthesurgeoflifethatmakes
thattechniqueseeminvisible;theyearsoftrainingmustseemtoevaporateintheheatoflife.Trulygreat
techniquehasthegenerositytovanishandtakenocredit.
Eventhemoststylisedartisaboutlife,andthemorelifethereispresentinaworkofart,thegreater
thequalityofthatart.Lifeismysteriousandtranscendslogic,sothelivingthingcanneverbefully
analysed,taughtorlearned.Butthosethingsthatapparentlycutoutlife,orseemtoconcealorblockit,are
notnearlysomysteriousastheypretend.These‘things’areboundbylogicandmaybeanalysed,isolated
anddestroyed.Thedoctormayexplainwhythepatientisdead,butneverwhythepatientisalive.
Thereforethisisnotabookabouthowtoact;thisisabookthatmayhelpwhenyoufeelblockedin
youracting.
Twoprovisos
Itisnoteasytowriteaboutacting.Actingisanart,andartrevealstheuniquenessofthings.Talkingabout
actingishard,because‘talkingabout’tendstomakeusgeneraliseandgeneralisationconcealsthe
uniquenessofthings.Goodactingisalwaysspecific.
Thereisalsoaproblemherewithvocabulary.Thewords‘actor’and‘acting’aredevalued.For
example,wesaythatpeopleare‘puttingonanact’whenwemeanthattheyarelyingaboutthemselves.
Theword‘acting’isoftenusedasasynonymfor‘lying’.Platoarguedthattherewasnodifference
betweenactingandlying,androundlycondemnedthetheatre.Diderot’sParadoxoftheActoraskshow
wecanspeakoftruthinperformance,whichofitsverynatureisalie.
Emotionandtruth
Butwecanneverfullytellthetruthaboutwhatwefeel.Indeed,themorewefeel,themoreuselesswill
bethewordswefindtoexpressourselves.Thequestion‘Howareyou?’becomesincreasinglybanalthe
moretherelationshipmatters;thewordsworkreasonablywelltogreetthepostmanashedeliversa
package,butarewoefullyinadequatetoafriendwithcancer.
Therewillalwaysbeagapbetweenwhatwefeelandourabilitytoexpresswhatwefeel.Themore
wewishforthegaptobesmaller,andthemorewewanttotell‘thetruth’,thenthewiderthisperverse
gapyawns.Weactconstantly,notbecausewearepurposelylying,butbecausewehavenochoice.Living
wellmeansactingwell.Everymomentinourlivesisatinytheatricalperformance.Evenourmost
intimatemomentshaveapublicofatleastone:ourselves.
Attimesofcrisisthisinabilitytoexpressourselvescausesgreatpain.Adolescencecanbeajourney
throughhellwhenwefeelcompletelymisunderstood;‘firstlove’seemsunalloyedblissonlyinnostalgia.
Wearetormentednotonlybythespectreofrejection,butalsobythecreepinghopelessnessthatwewill
neverbeabletoexpresswhatwefeel.Theemotionsareturbulent,thestakesseemimpossiblyhigh:
‘NobodyunderstandswhatIamgoingthrough.Andwhat’sworse,Ijusthearmyselfspoutingthesame
oldclichésotherpeopleuse.’
Asadolescents,wediscoverthatthemorewewanttotellthetruth,themoreourwordslie.Butto
mature,wemustgetonwiththehumbleprocessofperforming,becauseactingisallwecando.Actingis
thenearestwegettothetruth.
Wedonotknowwhoweare.Butweknowthatwecanact.Weknowthatthereisagreaterorlesser
qualitytoourperformancesasstudent,teacher,friend,daughter,fatherorlover.Wearethepeopleweact,
butwehavetoactthemwell,andwithadeepeningsenseofwhetherourperformancesare‘truthful’or
not.Buttruthfultowhat?Therealmeinside?Toothers?TruthfultowhatIfeel,want,oughttobe?The
questionmarkshangwiththeobservationthattheaboveandallthefollowingarenotnecessarilytrue,but
mayproveuseful.
Block
Ratherthanclaimthat‘x’isamoretalentedactorthan‘y’,itismoreaccuratetosaythat‘x’isless
blockedthan‘y’.Thetalentisalreadypumpingaway,likethecirculationoftheblood.Wejusthaveto
dissolvetheclot.
Wheneverwefeelblockedthesymptomsareremarkablysimilar,whateverthecountry,whateverthe
context.Twoaspectsofthisstateseemparticularlydeadly:thefirstisthatthemoretheactortriesto
force,squeezeandpushoutofthiscul-de-sac,theworse‘it’seemstoget,likeafacesquashedagainst
glass.Secondistheaccompanyingsenseofisolation.Ofcourse,theproblemcanbeprojectedout,and
‘it’becomesthe‘fault’ofscript,orpartner,orevenyourshoes.Butthetwobasicsymptomsrecur,namely
paralysisandisolation–aninnerlockingandanouterlocking.And,atworst,anoverwhelming
awarenessofbeingalone,acreepingsenseofbeingbothresponsibleandpowerless,unworthyandangry,
toosmall,toobig,toocautious,too...me.
Whenactingflows,itisalive,andsocannotbeanalysed;butproblemsinactingareconnectedto
structureandcontrol,andthesecanbeisolatedanddisabled.
Othersourcesofblock
Manydifferentproblemsariseinrehearsalandperformancethatcandamageacting.Theroommaybeill
lit,badlyventilated,echoeyorcold.Moresignificantly,theremaybeadifficultatmosphereinthegroup,
orabadrelationshipwiththedirectororwriter.Externalproblemsoverwhichtheactormayhavelittle
controlcanalsocoagulatethework;butcircumstantialdifficultieswillnotbedealtwithhere.
Whenthingsgowrongwemustdistinguishbetweenwhatwecanchangeandwhatwecannotchange.
Wealsohavetodividetheproblemintotwoparts:first,thepartthatcomesfromoutside,overwhichwe
mayhavelittleornocontrol,andsecondly,thepartwhichcomesfrominside,overwhichwecanlearnto
haveincreasingcontrol.Thisbookonlyaddressesthatsecondpart.
Allseriousactingproblemsareinterconnected,sointerdependentthattheyseemtobejustonehuge
rockcutintoblindingfacetsbyademonicjeweller.Todefinethestonebydescribingitsfacetsis
misleadingbecauseeachfacetonlymakessenseinthecontextofalltheothers.Thereforemuchofwhatis
saidatthebeginningofthisbookwillmakelittlesensetilltheend.
Amap
Thisbookislikeamap.Likeallmaps,itisalie,orrather,alietryingtotellausefulstory.Ametromap
bearsnoresemblancetothecitystreetsystemandwillmisleadthepedestrian,butitwillhelpyouifyou
wanttochangetrains.Andaswithmanymaps,ittakessomefamiliaritytohelpyoufindyourway.
Sobeforewecontinueitwillhelptorevisitsomebasicterms.
Rehearsal
Broadlyspeaking,wecandividetheworkoftheactorintotwoparts,rehearsalandperformance.More
controversiallywecanalsodividethemindofahumanbeingintotheconsciousandtheunconscious.The
rehearsalandtheunconscioushavecertainthingsincommon.Botharenormallyunseen,butbothare
essential.Theyare,intheirdifferentways,thefour-fifthsoftheicebergthatareconcealed.Ontheother
hand,likethetipoftheiceberg,theperformanceandtheconsciousarebothseen.Wecaneasilyseethe
tipoftheiceberg,butweneedwisdomtoinfertheotherfour-fifths.
However,thisbookmakesaslightlydifferentdivision:heretheactor’sworkwillbedividedintothe
visibleworkandtheinvisiblework.Infactactorsnormallyworktoasimilardivision;butthenthisis
justanewmaptomakeanancientlandscapeclearer.Wecanbeginwithsomefeatures:
1.Alltheactor’sresearchispartoftheinvisiblework,whiletheperformanceispartofthevisiblework.
2.Theaudiencemustneverseetheinvisiblework.
3.Therehearsalcomprisesalltheinvisibleworkandpassagesofvisiblework.
4.Theperformanceconsistsonlyofthevisiblework.
Thesenses
Theactor’sflowdependsontwospecificfunctionsofthebody:thesensesandtheimagination.
Wearecompletelydependentonoursenses.Theyarethefirstantennaethatdetecttheoutsideworld.
Wesee,touch,taste,smellandhearthatwearenotalone.Astorturesgo,sensedeprivationistheatrically
weakbutsurprisinglyefficient.Whenthestakesriseoursensesbecomemoreacute.Theinterface
betweenourbodiesandtheoutsideworldbecomesmoresensitiveandintense.Werecallexactlythe
placewhereweheardastonishingnews–nowonderthatsomanyremembernotonlywhenbutalso
wheretheyheardthatPresidentKennedyhadbeenshot.
Threeremarksmayhelphere:first,itisdangeroustotakeoursensesforgranted.Occasional
meditationsonblindnessandothersensorylossarenearlyaslife-affirmingastheregularcontemplation
ofdeath.Secondly,theactor’ssenseswillneverabsorbasmuchinperformanceasthecharacterabsorbs
intherealsituation.InotherwordstheactorwillneverseetheaspasacutelyasCleopatraherself.
Finally,thisgracefulacceptanceofinevitablefailureisanexhilaratingreleasefortheartist.Thatwewill
nevergetthereisanexcellentstartingpoint;perfectionismisonlyavanity.Theactorneedstoacceptthe
senses’limitationsinorderfortheimaginationtorunfree.Theactorreliesutterlyonthesenses;theyare
thefirststageinourcommunicationwiththeworld.Theimaginationisthesecond.
Imagination
Theimagination,thesensesandthebodyareinterdependent.Theimaginationisthecapacitytomake
images.Ourimaginationsmakeushumanandtheytoileverymillisecondofourlives.Onlythe
imaginationcaninterpretwhatoursensesrelaytoourbodies.Itisimaginationthatenablesustoperceive.
Effectively,nothingintheworldexistsforusuntilweperceiveit.Ourcapacitytoimagineisboth
imperfectandglorious,andonlythepayingofattentioncanimproveit.
Theimaginationmaybemockedasreality’sunderstudy:‘Thatchildhasanover-activeimagination’
or‘You’rejustimaginingthings!’However,itisonlyimaginationthatcanconnectustoreality.Without
ourabilitytomakeimageswewouldhavenomeansofaccessingtheoutsideworld.Thesensescrowd
thebrainwithsensations,theimaginationsweatsbothtoorganisethesesensationsasimagesandalsoto
perceivemeaningintheseimages.Weforgetheworldwithinourheads,butwhatweperceivecannever
betherealworld;itisalwaysanimaginativere-creation.
Theimaginationisnotafragilepieceofporcelain,butratheramusclethatdevelopsitselfonlywhen
properlyused.Itwasaneighteenth-centuryviewthattheimaginationwasanabyssthatmightswallowthe
unwary,andthismistrustpersists;buttoshutdowntheimagination,evenifpossible,wouldbelike
refusingtobreatheforfearofcatchingpneumonia.
Thedark
Everythingweseeintheoutsideworldismanufacturedinourheads.Wedonotdeveloptheimagination
byforcingitintoprodigiousandself-consciousfeatsofcreativity;wedevelopourimaginationsby
observationandattention.Wedeveloptheimaginationwhenweuseitandpayattention;theimagination
improvesitselfwhenwesimplyseethingsastheyare.Butseeingthingsisnotsoeasysometimes,
particularlywhenitisdark.Howthencanwelightupthedarkness?Actuallythereisnosuchthingasthe
dark;thereismerelyanabsenceoflight.ButwhatcouldbecastingthisshadowovereverythingIsee?
Thereisaclue.IfIexaminethisdarknessIwillseethatithasafamiliaroutline.Ithasexactlythesame
shapeas...me.Wemakedarknessbygettinginthewayofthelight.Inotherwordswecanonlynourish
ourimaginationsbynotgettingintheway;thelesswedarkentheworld,theclearerweseeit.
1
‘IDON’TKNOWWHATI’MDOING’
Thespider’slegs
Actorsoftenusepreciselythesamewordswhentheyfeelblocked.Nordoesitmatterifthewordsare
FrenchorFinnishorRussian:theproblemtranscendslanguage.Thesecriesforhelpcanbeclassified
undereightheadings,but,aswewillsee,theorderisofnoimportance,becausetheyarenomore
differentthanthelegsofthesamespider:
‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing.’
‘Idon’tknowwhatIwant.’
‘Idon’tknowwhoIam.’
‘Idon’tknowwhereIam.’
‘Idon’tknowhowIshouldmove.’
‘Idon’tknowwhatIshouldfeel.’
‘Idon’tknowwhatI’msaying.’
‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mplaying.’
Itisstrangetodiscusseachofaspider’slegsinsequence,asifeachlegcouldwalkindependentlyof
theotherseven.
Theactor’simagination,text,movement,breathing,techniqueandfeelingareessentiallyinseparable.
Yes,itwouldbeconvenientiftherecouldbealogicalstep-by-stepprogression,butthereisn’t.These
eightapparentlydifferentproblemsareutterlyinterlinked.Wecannotpretendtodealneatlywithone
difficulty,finishthatandthengoontotidyawayanother.Thedamagespreadsfromoneareatoanother
andcannotbequarantined.
However,themaincauseofanactor’sproblemsisfarsimplerthanitsmanyeffects,justasabombis
simplerthanthehavocitwreaks.Butalthoughthisparticular‘bomb’issimple,itishardtodescribeand
isolate.
Beforewecanidentifyanddefusethisbomb,weneedsometools.Thesetoolstaketheformofchoices
andrules.Rulesshouldbetwothings:a)few,andb)helpful.Soa)thisbookwillnotlaydownmany
rules,andb)youwillknowwhethertheyarehelpfulonlyiftheyworkforyouinpractice.Wenormally
testrulesbyconsideringwhetherornotwebelievethemoragreewiththem.Buttheserulesdonotclaim
togovernacountryorsavelife;theyjusthelpusmake-believe.Whetherornotweactuallyagreewith
theserulesisthereforebesidethepoint.Theyarenotmoralabsolutes;theyworkonlyiftheywork.
‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing’
Thisisthemantraoftheblockedactorandcanpriseopenatrapdownwhichallcantumble.
Ratherthanconsiderthecontentofthisspider’sleg,wemightthinklaterally,andexamineitsform.The
structureofthestatementisimportant.Theword‘I’isrepeated.Thecryimpliesthat:‘Ican/should/must
knowwhatIamdoing;itismyrightanddutytoknowwhatIamdoingwhichIamsomehowbeing
denied.’Butthisreasonable-soundingcomplainthasentirelyignoredsomethingcrucial.Whatisthis
‘something’thathasbeenairbrushedoutofthephotographlikeTrotsky?
This‘something’hasbeendemoted,deniedandfinallyobliterated.‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing’
mentionsonewordtwice:‘I’.Theattentionthatwasduetothis‘something’,itspersonalshare,has
revertedtothebanker,‘I’.Thecentralimportanceofthisforgottencharacteriswhatthisbookisabout,
becausethisoversightisthechiefsourceoftheactor’smisery.
Itiscrucialtoseethatthedemandsof‘know’and‘I’cannotberesolvedunlesswedealwiththe
namelessonefirst.Sowewillstartwiththe‘something’,soneglectedthatithasn’tyetbeengivena
name.
ThenamelessoneIwillbaptiseTHETARGET.
Unlikethearbitraryorderofthespiderlegs,herethesequenceintimeisabsolutelycrucial.Thetarget
mustbedealtwithbefore‘I’and‘know’.The‘I’issohungryforattentionthatitdemandstohaveits
problemssolvedfirst.Itbargesrighttothefrontofthequeue,closelyfollowedby‘know’andthetarget
getsflattenedinthestampede.Thisvulnerabilityof‘I’and‘know’isquiteruthless.Indeedwehaveto
coverourearstotheirscreamingforawhile,otherwisewewillneverbeabletohelpthem.Wemustn’t
lookback,althoughtheyareverygoodatmakingusfeelguilty.Lot’swifelookedbackandwas
paralysed.
2
THETARGET
Irina
LetusmeetIrinawhoisplayingJuliet.Sheisrehearsingthebalconyscenewithherpartner,andfeelsthat
shedoesn’tknowwhatsheisdoing.Itseemsunfairthatsheshouldfeelsostuck,becauseshehasdoneall
herresearch.Sheisbright,hard-workingandtalented.Sowhydoesshefeellikeapieceofwetcod?In
fact,themoreIrinatriestoactsincerely,themoreshetriestoexpressdeepfeeling,themoreshetriesto
meanwhatshesays,themoreshefreezesover.WhatcanIrinadotogetoutofthemess?Well,ifshe
cannotpushforwardinherwork,Irinamayhavetogosideways,thinklaterally,andconsiderthe
following.
IfyouaskIrinawhatshedidyesterday,shemayreply:‘Igotup,Ibrushedmyteeth,Imadesome
coffee...’etc.Asshebeginstoansweryourquestionhereyeswillprobablylookstraightbackatyou.
However,hereyeswillstrayastheytrytopicturetheeventsofthepreviousday.Buttheeyesneverlose
theirfocusonsomething.Irinaiseitherlookingatyouoratsomethingelse,thecoffeethatshedrank.She
iseitherlookingatsomethingrealorsomethingimaginary.Butsheisalwayslookingatsomething.The
consciousmindisalwayspresentwiththis‘something’.Whileshedigsforamemory:‘Iwenttowork,I
wrotealetter’,hereyesstillfocusandrefocusonpointslocatedoutside.Althoughcommonsenseinsists
thatallhermemoriesmustbecontainedwithinherbrain,shestillmustlookoutsideherheadtoremember
them.Hereyeballsdonotrotateinwardsandscanhercerebellum.Nordohereyeslookvaguelyoutward,
buttheyfocusonaspecificpoint,andthenonanotherspecificpointwheretheeventsofyesterdayare
recalledandre-seen:
‘Ireadthepaper.’
‘Ihadsomecoffee.’
Eachfindsitsownspecifictarget.Perhapsshefinallygivesupandsays:
‘Ican’trememberanymore.’
Buthereyesstillwillsearchindifferentplacesfortheelusivememory.Whatmayappeartobeageneral
sweepisreallyafinding,discardingandre-choosingofamultitudeofdifferentpoints.Thisgivesriseto
thefirstofthesixrulesofthetarget:
1:Thereisalwaysatarget
Youcanneverknowwhatyouaredoinguntilyoufirstknowwhatyouaredoingitto.Fortheactor,all
‘doing’hastobedonetosomething.Theactorcandonothingwithoutthetarget.
Thetargetcanberealorimaginary,concreteorabstract,buttheunbreakablefirstruleisthatatall
timesandwithoutasingleexceptiontheremustbeatarget.
‘IwarnRomeo.’
‘IdeceiveLadyCapulet.’
‘IteasetheNurse.’
‘Iopenthewindow.’
‘Istepontothebalcony.’
‘Isearchforthemoon.’
‘Iremembermyfamily.’
Itcanbe‘yourself’,asin:
‘Ireassuremyself.’
Theactorcandonothingwithoutthetarget.So,forexample,anactorcannotplay‘Idie’becausethere
isnotarget.However,theactorcanplay:
‘Iwelcomedeath.’
‘Ifightdeath.’
‘Imockdeath.’
‘Istruggleforlife.’
Being
Somethingswecanneveract.Theactorcannotactaverbwithoutanobject.Acrucialinstanceis
‘being’:theactorcannotsimply‘be’.Irinacannotplaybeinghappy,beingsad,orbeingangry.
Allanactorcanplayareverbs,butevenmoresignificantly,eachoftheseverbshastodependona
target.Thistargetisakindofobject,eitherdirectorindirect,aspecificthingseenorsensed,and,to
somedegree,needed.Whatthetargetactuallyiswillchangefrommomenttomoment.Thereisplentyof
choice.Butwithoutthetargettheactorcandoabsolutelynothingatall,forthetargetisthesourceofall
theactor’slife.Whenconscious,wearealwayspresentwithsomething,withthetarget.Andwhenthe
consciousmindisnolongerpresentwithanythingatall,atthatverypointitstopsbeingconscious.And
theactorcannotplayunconsciousness.
Adouble-take
Dissectingthevenerable‘double-take’makesthetargetclearer.To‘take’isoldtheatrejargonmeaning
‘tosee’.Anda‘double-take’iswhenyouseesomethingtwiceforcomiceffect.
Anexample:youarepruningyourchrysanthemums,whenthevicarrunsin:
Stepone:‘Goodmorning,vicar!’–youlookathim.
Steptwo:Youthenlookbackatthechrysanthemums.
Stepthree:Whilestilllookingatthechrysanthemums,yourealisethatthevicarisnotwearingany
trousers.
Stepfour:Youlookbackathimaghast.
Wheredoesthefirstbiglaughcome?Learnedinternationalauthorityisunanimous:thefirstbiglaugh
occursduringstepthree.Stepthreeisthemomentwhentheimagetransformsbeforetheactor’seyes.
Let’sreconsiderthefoursteps.
Stepone:You‘lookat’thevicarbutdonottruly‘see’him.Insteadyouimagineheishisusualrespectable
self.
Steptwo:Youthinkyouhavefinishedwithgreetingthevicarandsosetaboutpruningthe
chrysanthemums.
Stepthree:Thefalseimageofthemodestvicarisreplacedbythetrueimageofthevicarinhisspotted
shorts.
Stepfour:Youlookbackathimtoconfirmthattheknobblykneesquakethereinembarrassingreality.
Youexpectatrouseredvicarand‘see’onlywhatoughttobe.Theaudiencewaitsingleefulsuspensefor
realitytoforceyoutoseethetargetasittrulyis.Onetargettransformsintoanotherbeforeyoureyesand
theaudiencehowlswithlaughter.Butmostimportantly,theaudiencedoesnotlaughbecauseyouchange
thetarget.Theaudiencelaughstoseethetargetchangeyou.
2:Thetargetalwaysexistsoutside,andatameasurabledistance
Aswehaveseen,theeyeshavetoseesomething,whetherrealorimaginary.Andtheimpulse,stimulus
andenergy,toannounce
‘Ihadbaconandeggs’
oreven,
‘Idon’thavebreakfast’,
comefromspecificimagesoutsidethebrainandnotinside.Theeyesrefocusondifferenttargets,asif
tryingtofindnotjustthememory,butasiftryingtouncoverthespecificlocationofthatmemory.Indeed,
theveryplacewherethememoryishiding,thesitewherethememoryalreadyexists,canfeelas
importantasthememoryitself.
Whathappens,however,ifthetargetseemstobeinsidethebrain,assaywhenwehaveadeep
headache?Howcanthisbelocatedoutside?
Whateverpainwehave,howeverintimatetheagony,therewillalwaysbeadifferencebetweenthe
patientandthepain.Andpeoplewhosuffergreatpainwilltellyouthattheyfeelthemselvesstrangely
separatefromtheirpain.Themoreintenseamigrainebecomes,thenthemoreitseemsthatonlytwo
entitiesexistintheworld,thepainandthesufferer.Theachemayinvadethebrain,butitremainsoutside
theconsciousness.Thereisalwaysacrucialdistance.
3:Thetargetexistsbeforeyouneedit
IfyougoontoaskIrinahowshemightliketocelebrateherbirthdaynextyear,somethinginteresting
happens.Hereyesstillflasharoundtryingtodiscoversomething,i.e.whatshewouldliketodonextyear.
But,inaway,thisisratherstrange.Becausewhatshewantstodonextyearcannotalreadyexist.Yether
eyeshuntthisfutureeventasifitalreadyexisted.Logically,shemustbeinventingonthespurofthe
momentwhatshemightwantnextyear,adaybytheseaperhaps,orsomeparty,aneventthatdoesnotas
yetexist.However,shestillhastosearchasifitalreadydidexist.Itisasifshehastofindoruncover
whatherwishfornextyearalreadyis,ratherthaninventsomethingnew.
Andthisissignificant,for,asweshallcontinuetosee,‘discover’alwayshelpsmorethan‘invent’.
Senseandsight
Thewords‘sight’and‘seeing’willbeusedfromnowonasametaphortorefertoallthesenses,ofwhich
wecannamebutfive.Onthispoint,theblindingofGloucestermaybeappalling,butthereexistsafate
grimmerthanhavingyoureyestornout–andthatistearingyourowneyesout.Theterriblefateof
Oedipuswasself-inflictedblindness.Sadlythisisnotsuchanexoticaffliction;blindingourselvesisthe
commoncauseofblock.
Aplaceforseeing
IfIrinafeelsblocked,ifIrinafeelsthatshe‘doesn’tknowwhatsheisdoing’,itisbecauseshedoesnot
seethetarget.Thedangerisextreme,becausethetargetistheonlysourceofallpracticalenergyforthe
actor.Withoutfoodwedie.Alllifeneedstotakesomethingfromoutsideitselftoinsideitselfinorderto
survive.Actorsarenourishedandenergisedbywhattheyseeintheworldoutside.Infact,theveryword
theatrecomesfromtheGreektheatron,whichmeans‘aplaceforseeing’.
Butsurelywearenourishedbywhatisoutsideandwhatisinside?Thatispossiblytruebutitisnot
useful.ItwillhelpIrinamoretotransferallinnerfunctioning,alldrives,feelings,thoughtsandmotives,
etc.frominsideandrelocatetheseimpulsesinthetarget.ThetargetwillthenenergiseIrinajustasa
batterythatgivespowerwhenneeded.
Whensomethingmovesusdeeply,psychologytellsusthatthesestrongfeelingsmustcomefrominside
ourselves.Buttheoppositeprincipleismorehelpfulfortheactor.Inotherwords,ithelpsIrinamoreto
imaginethatitisthetargetthatgivesherthesestrongreactions.Irinagivesupcontrolandentrustsittothe
thingshesees.Theactorabdicatespowertothetarget.
Thereisnoinnerresourcethatwillmakeusindependentofotherthings.Thereisnointernaldynamo
independentoftheoutsideworld.Wedonotexistalone;weexistonlyinacontext.Imaginingthatwecan
survivewithoutthecontextisrash.Theactorcanonlyactinrelationtothethingthatisoutside,thetarget.
4:Thetargetisalwaysspecific
Atargetcannotbeageneralisation.Atargetisalwaysspecific.Weknowthetargetcanbeanabstraction
asin:‘Itrytoblindmyselftothefuture.’Here,althoughthe‘future’maybeabstract,itisnot
generalised.Foritistospecificelementsofthe‘future’that‘Itrytoblindmyself ’.
Wehaveseenbeforethat‘Istruggleforlife’has‘life’asatarget.Andthewoundedsoldierfightingto
livewillhaveaveryspecificimageofthenextlivingmomentthatheneeds.Hedoesn’tfightfora
generalisation.Thereisnothinggeneralaboutthetryingorthestruggling.Thepush,theeffort,thecoughis
propelledbytheimageofthenextlivingmomentthatheseesandneeds,andifonlyheclearshisthroat
thistime,ortakesanotherdeepgulpofairorenduresjustthisnextspasmofpain,thenperhapstherewill
behope.
Weeachseedifferenttargets,evenwhenwehappentobelookingatthesamething.SoRosalindseesa
differentOrlandofromtheOrlandowhoisseenbyhisjealousbrotherOliver.Thespecificnessofthe
targetisdifferentforeachofus.WewilldiscussthislaterinChapter5.
Theexternalworldisalwaysspecific.Thethingthatisoutside,thetarget,canonlybespecific.
5:Thetargetisalwaystransforming
WehaveseenthatitisnotenoughforRosalindtolove‘Orlando’.ShemustseeaspecificOrlando.
However,thatspecificOrlandowillchangeintoanotherspecificOrlando.Shemaystartseeinga
desperateyoungbraggartwhotakesontheDuke’swrestler,thenshemayseearomanticDavidwho
defeatshisGoliath,thenperhapssheseesalostyoungman.Orlandowillmutateagainandagainthrough
thecourseofAsYouLikeItintocountlessdifferent‘Orlandos’.Rosalindwillhaveherworkcutoutfor
hertryingtodealwiththesechangingOrlandos.Doesshekisshim,fighthim,teasehim,mockhim,seduce
him,confusehimorhealhim?AndnotonlyOrlando,Rosalindalsohastodealwithalltheother
metamorphosingtargetsofherworld.Simpleshepherdswaxintoneuroticpoets,aristocratschangeinto
outlaws,andherownbodygraduallytransformsintoanambivalentobjectofdesireandlove.Rosalind’s
universeandallthetargetsinitdonotremainthesame,theychangeandchangeagain.Seeingthetarget
transformwillfreetheactortoplayRosalind.
6:Thetargetisalwaysactive
Notonlyisthetargetalwaysmutating,thetargetisalwaysdoingsomething.Andwhateverthetargetis
doingmustbechanged–byme.InsteadofteachingOrlandowhatloveis,letRosalindseeanOrlando
whosentimentaliseslove,soshemusttrytochangethis.InsteadofwantingtomurderDesdemona,let
Othelloseeawifewhoisdestroyinghim,andhemusttrytochangethis.InsteadofdefyingGoneril,let
Learseeadaughterwhoishumiliatinghim,adaughterhemustchange.
Theexternaltarget
Theactivetargetlocatestheenergyoutsideussothatwecanthenbounceoffit,reacttoitandliveoffit;
thetargetbecomesanexternalbattery.
So,insteadofalwayswondering‘WhatamIdoing?’,itismorehelpfultoask‘Whatisthetarget
doing?’Orbetter‘Whatisthetargetmakingmedo?’
Thefirstquestionrobsenergyfromthetargetandhoardsitin‘I’.Itisworthobservingherethat‘I’
tendstobeadangerouswordfortheactorandisbestusedwithcaution.‘Me’isusuallymorehelpful.
Themoreenergytheactorcanlocateinthetarget,thegreatertheactor’sfreedom.Ontheotherhand,
stealingenergyfromthetargetactuallyparalysestheactor.IfIrinatriestotakepowerfromthetargetand
keepitinherselfthenshewillbecomeblocked.
Irinacanimagineallthedifferentthingsthathercharacterwants,allthedifferentthingsthatJulietmight
wanttodotoRomeo.ListingwhatJulietwantsfromRomeomayindeedhelpintheearlystagesof
rehearsal.ButitwillhelpIrinamoreifshecanopenherimaginationtoseewhatJulietsees.Andwhat
doesJulietsee?Afathertobefeared,amothertobedealtwith,afuturetobeavoidedandaRomeotobe
wooed,tamed,supported,warned,frightened,cheered,discovered,reassured,opened,scolded,
protected,spurred,ennobled,chastened,heated,cooled,seduced,rejectedandloved.ForJuliet,the
sceneisnotaboutherandwhatshewants;thesceneisaboutthedifferentRomeosthatsheseesandhasto
dealwith.Irina’senergydoesnotcomefromwithin,fromsomeconcentratedinternalcentre;itcomes
onlyfromtheoutsideworldthatJulietperceives:thebreezethatcaresseshercheek,thatmarriageshe
dreads,thelipsshedesires.Thetargetisall.
ItclearlyfollowsthattheactorplayingRomeoneedstomakethebalconyscenemoreaboutJulietand
lessabouthim;andIrinaneedstomakethescenemoreaboutRomeoandlessabouther.
Forallpracticalpurposesthen,thereisnoinnersourceofenergy.Allenergyoriginatesinthetarget.
Morethanone
NordoIrina’seyeballsneedtobegluedtoherpartner.Talkingtofriendswhilewalkingdownalong
beach,IwillfalloverifIkeeplookingatthem.Wecantalktoeachotherthroughthethingswesee,the
seaweed,thegulls,therockpools.Breakingdifficultnews,wemayscrutinisehowwestirourcoffeeto
avoiduncomfortableeye-contact.Doesthismeanweareonlylookingatthecoffee?No.Doesthismean
thatwedonotseethecoffee,butonlyimaginetheother’sfallingface?No.Weseebothatonce.Howwe
achievethisweneednotknow.Whatwedoneedtoknowisthatthereisalwaysatarget,althoughthere
maybemorethanoneatthesametime.
Adigression:anexperimentwithhypnosis
Evenwhenweareunawareofthespecifictargetwewillsupplyone.Ourimaginationsshunthegeneral
andtheunknown.Eveniftherewerenotargetwewouldhavetoinventone.SigmundFreuddescribed
experimentswherepatients,underhypnosis,wereinstructedtoflicktheirearsatagivensignal.Whenthe
suggestionwascomplete,thesubjectswerewokenup,thesignalwasgivenandthepatientsdulyflicked
theirears.Ofcoursetheyhadnoideawhy.WhatfascinatedFreudwasthatwhenquestionedwhytheyhad
flickedtheirears,thesubjectsalwaysinventedaspecificreason.Theywouldexplain:‘Becausemyear
wasitchy.’Thissuggeststwopossibilities.First,wemaylieratherthanadmittobeingirrational.
Secondly,andmoreusefullyfortheactor,wecanonlythinkintermsofaspecifictarget...andwilleven
supplyoneifitappearsabsent.
Whatthetargetisnot
Thetargetisneitheranobjective,norawant,noraplan,norareason,noranintention,noragoal,nora
focus,noramotive.Motivesarisefromthetarget.Amotiveisawayofexplainingwhywedothings.
Now‘why’wedothingsmaybeinteresting.Butrelentlesslyasking‘why’cantietheactorinknots.Why
doesJulietfallinlovewithRomeo?CertainlyifIrinacananswerthequestionfully,shehasfullymissed
thepoint.Wecannotfullyknowwhywedosomethings.Butwewilldealwiththedangersof‘why’later.
Noristhetargetmy‘focus’.Focusisamisleadingword.Focussoundsasifithasalottodowiththe
target.Butsaying:‘Ifocusonsomething’isutterlydifferentfromsaying:‘Iseesomething’.Anditis
worthtakingtimetoponderthedifference.Thetargetneedstobeseen:my‘pointoffocus’impliesIcan
decidewhethertofocusonthatpointornot.Thetargetisthemaster.Butthe‘pointoffocus’soundsmore
likeaservant.Fortheactoritmayseemmorecomfortabletochoosepointsoffocusratherthanreactto
targets.Indeed‘choosingwheretofocus’mayhelptheactorfeelmoreincontrol.Butthisparticular
controlisnotalong-termfriend;thisparticularcontroltendstoreturnIrinaneatlyinsideherself.
Choosingapointoffocuscanconcealtheoutsideworldandallitsnourishingstimuli,forittendsto
relocateinsidetheactorthoseenergiesthataremorehelpfullylocatedoutside.
Beforewethinkaboutcontrol,itwillhelptoconsideranuncomfortablechoice.
Thefirstuncomfortablechoice:
concentrationorattention
Thisisthefirstoftheactor’suncomfortablechoices.Thedilemmaisbetweenelementsthatseemtobe
friends,butinfact,mustdestroyeachother.Theyseemsosimilar,can’twehavebothasasortof
insurance?Sadly,no.Tohaveone,wemustrenouncetheother.Tobeginwith:concentrationorattention.
Butrememberthatconcentrationdestroysattention.Youcannotpayattentiontosomethingandconcentrate
onitatthesametime.Thisisthefirstuncomfortablechoice:concentrationorattention.Youchoose.You
justcan’thaveboth,that’sall.
Butbeforemakingthatchoiceitisworthconsideringthefollowing.Attentionisaboutthetarget;
concentrationisaboutme.IfIconcentratehardonanexternalobject,orifIconcentrateveryhardon
anotherperson,somethingstrangehappens.Igraduallyseethatotherlessandlessandwindupseeing
howIseetheotherperson.Inotherwords,itendsupbeingaboutme.Concentrationmasqueradesas
beingabouttheother;butitisn’t.Concentrationpretendstobeabouttheoutsideworld;itisn’t.We
chooseconcentrationaboveattentionbecausewecanswitchonconcentration.Attentionisquitedifferent.
Itisgivenandhastobefound.Weexcreteconcentrationbythecartloadandthinkwecancontrolits
comingandgoing.That’spreciselywhyit’snotmuchuse.Wecannotcontrolattention,that’swhyitisso
useful,andsoalarming.Butconcentrationcanalsobefrightening.Theeffectofconcentratingislike
escapingthehorrorhouseofUncleSilas:howeverfaryourun,youalwaysendupmysteriouslyback
home.
ThereisnothingthatIrinacanmanufacturewithinherself.Thereisnocorecentreofcreativitythatshe
canstimulatetofabricateasolutiontoherdifficulties.Shecanconstructnofeeling,engineernothought.
ThenwhatcanIrinado?AllIrinacandoisseethingsandpayattention.
Maddeningly,Irinacannotforceherselftoseethingsattentively.Liketherestofusshecanonlyforce
herself‘not’tosee.Shecanblindherself.Shemayhoweverforceherselfto‘lookat’things.But‘looking
at’isquitedifferentfrom‘seeing’.Thisdifferencebetween‘seeing’and‘lookingat’iscrucialforthe
actor.‘Lookingat’impliesthatIchoosewheretoplacemyfocus.‘Seeing’paysattentiontowhatalready
exists.Icanlookatsomethingwithoutseeingit,likethetrouser-lessvicar.Seeingimpliesthatwhatis
seenwillhavefreedomtosurpriseme,tobedifferentfromwhatIexpected.
Hunger
Imagineyouarehungryandhavenofoodinyourflat.Itdoesn’tmatterhowoftenyousearchthefridge:it
willremainempty.Theonlyplacetogetfoodisoutside.Ifyoustayin,you’llstarve,nomatterhowoften
yourummageroundthewireracks.Fortheactor,‘seeing’islikegoingoutside.Itseemssosafeathome,
itseemssofrighteningonthestreets,butthisisadelusion.
Itisnotsafeathome;itisonlysafeonthestreets.Don’tgohome.
3
FEAR
If,then,thetargetissoimportant,howdowegetcutofffromit?Theanswerissimple.ItisFearthatcuts
usofffromthetarget.Fearseversusfromouronlysourceofenergy;thatishowFearstarvesus.No
theatreworkabsorbsmoreenergythandealingwiththeeffectsofFear;andFearis,withoutasingle
exception,destructive.ThemoreFearstalkstherehearsalroom,themoretheworksuffers.Fearmakesit
difficulttodisagree.Fearcreatesasmuchfalseconsensusasstrife.Ahealthyworkingatmosphere,where
wecanriskandfail,isindispensable.Fearcorrodesthistrust,underminesourconfidenceandclotsour
work.Andtherehearsalmustfeelsafesothattheperformancemayseemdangerous.
Butwhatisthisparticularcapitalised‘Fear’?Itishardtodefinebecauseitisapersonalamalgamof
countlessshiftingemotions,alwayschangingshapelikeashoaloffish.Itisnottobeconfusedwiththe
feelingthatanyoneofusmighthaveifalunaticrushedintotheroomwavingarifle.Sometimes,thisFear
comeswearingamask:arroganceisafavouritedisguiseandmannerismisanother.Sometimesweknow
wearepossessedbythisFear,butoftentheparasiteisinvisibletothehost.WecanalwaysinferthatFear
isfatandhealthywheneverweexperience‘block’.
However,Irinacantakeheart,becauseultimatelytheactor’sFearisapapertiger,aWizardofOzwho
crumbleswhendraggedintotheopen.‘Don’tworry!’iseasilysaid,andmayrankhighasapieceof
counterproductiveadvice.Butinfactthereisnoactualneedtoworry.Well,howcantherebe,when
‘worrying’isthecauseoftheproblem?Itisnormallyprudenttotakeprecautions.Butworryisalways
imprudent.
Fearcanbedealtwith.ButfirstofallourFearneedstobeacknowledgedandseen.Anditisbetterif
wecanprepareourselveswhencool,ratherthanwhenwearechokinginitsgrip.OnlybyseeingFearcan
itbethoughtabout,objectifiedandovercome.Thismayhelp.
Afable:theDevil
FearisliketheDevil.Thegoodnewsisthathedoesn’texist,thebadnewsisthatthatispreciselywhy
wecan’tgetridofhim.TheDevilderiveshispowerbyflickeringatthesidesofourvision.Hesplitsin
twoandwinksatusfromrightandleft,neitherfullyinourvision,norfullyoutofit.Hisoverwhelming
desireistodivorceyoufromthetarget:‘Don’tbotherlookingatanything,’hewhispers,‘becausewe’re
alllookingatyou.Allyoushouldworryaboutisyou.Willyou,theactor,failornot?Willyou,the
actor,bejudgedgoodorbad?Seemtalented?Lookgood?Bewanted?Getdropped?Behumiliated?’
Ifthismiserablestageisreached,wemayrememberwhatChristtoldtheDevilinthedesert:‘Getthee
behindme,Satan!’TheDevil’spoweristhatweonlyeverglimpsehim.Thereforethebestplacetostick
himisbehind.Onlybehindusishefullyoutofsightandthenwecangoforward.Hewill,however,try
andtryagaintoinvadetheperipheryofourvision.Wepanicthathewantstoleapinfrontofus,butthatis
hisgreatbluff.IftheDeviljumpedinfrontandfacedus,hewouldvanish.Herulesbypretendingthat,
liketheGorgon,themereglimpseofhimwouldparalyseus.Butno,toseehimfullywouldbetodestroy
himfully.Similarly,wecannevergetridofFear.Butwecankeepbootinghimbehindus.
Thedivisionoftime
Allproblemsofblockgetcuredinthe‘now’.
Feardoesnotexistinthe‘now’.Sohehastoinventapretendtimetoinhabitandrule.Hetakestheonly
realtime,thepresent,andsplitsitintotwofaketimezones.Onehalfhecallsthepast,andtheotherhalf
hecallsthefuture.Andthosearetheonlytwoplaceshecanlive.FeargovernsthefutureasAnxiety,and
thepastasGuilt.
Sotheactorisdeludedintoleavingthetargetinthepresent,abscondingwithFearintothepastandthe
future,andtheresultisblock.Infact,althoughitseffectsarefeltinthepresent,blockcanonlystartinthe
pastandthefuture.Anobviousexampleisthefearof‘drying’.Actuallyactorsrarelyforgettheirlines
whentheyremainpresent.However,assoonasIrinahasthethought:‘OhmyGod!Idon’tthinkIcan
remembermynextline’,sheispredictingwhatwillcome;shequitsthepresent.‘Iwillforgetmytext’
anticipatesthefuture,butactuallytricksIrinaintoforgettinghertextnow.
Anotherclassicrecipefordisasteristothink:‘ThebitIhavejustdonewasdreadfulbutIwilltryto
makethenextbitreallygood!’ThesecondIsnubthepresenttoflirtwiththepastorthefuturegivesFear
hischance.Fearcannotbreathewhiletheactorremainspresent.
Presence
Doestheactorhavetotrytobepresent?Theanswerisno.Wecannottrytobepresent,preciselybecause
wealreadyarepresent.Sowhatcanwedo?Canweworkwiththedouble-negatives?Forexample,can
wetrynottomakeourselvesabsent?Thedifficultyisthatany‘trying’tendstomaketheactorconcentrate,
whichcongealstheflowofattentionandcutsoffthetarget.
‘Beingpresentseemssohard,remainingpresentseemsevenharder!’Thesearebothdelusionsof
Fear.
Inrealitywearepresent,wecandoabsolutelynothingtoalterthat.Butwecanfantasisethatweare
somewhereelse.Infactwehaveevolvedsuchingeniousdevicestodeludeourselvesthatweareabsent
thatitisextremelydifficulttoswitchthemoff.Butcertainprinciplescanalwayshelp.First:asIam
alreadypresent,Icannotactuallybecomepresent.WhenItrytobepresent,itisabrilliantscamofFear.
Fortryingtodoanythingmakesusconcentrateandsendsushome.Fearoftenusesthisparticulartrickto
confuseus,bygettingustostruggletobecome...what,infact,wealreadyare.Imagineyouareaguest,
comfortablyseatedonasofa,whenyourhostsuddenlyrushesinandstartsinsistingthatyousitdown.
Whenyouremonstrate‘ButIamalreadysitting!’hejustyells:‘Well,tryharder!’Andifyoudecidethat
heisthesaneoneandnotyou,andifyoudotrytoobligehim,andifyoudotryto‘sit’morebecause
somehowyouarenotdoingitwellenough...andifyougoontrying...andifhegetsmoreandmore
frustratedandstartstoshout,crazyasitsounds,allthisispreciselywhathappenswhenwetrytobe
present.
Wegetsoconfusedthatweknockourselvesout.ThenFearcandragusoffbytheheels.
Partofthecureforblockistoremembercalmlythatyouarepresent,andthatnooneandnothingcan
kidnapyou.No,notevenyouyourselfcanruninwithachloroformedgagandabductyou.Theworstthat
canhappenisthatyoudeludeyourselfthatyouarenotpresent.Wecannotstruggletobepresent.Wecan
onlydiscoverthatwearepresent.Beingpresentisgiventous,likeagift,likeapresent.Itcannotbe
stolenfromus,butwecanfoolourselvesotherwise.
Thehidingoftherules
Fearhasnopoweroverthetarget,buthecanmakeyoubelievethatthetargethasabandonedyou.Todo
thishehastodeludeyouthattherulesofthetargetdonotexist,andsohetriestohideeachofthemin
turn.Heattacksthefirstrule,thatthereisalwaysatarget.‘Thatisalie,’Fearwhispers.‘Youareall
alone.Youcanonlydependonyou.’
Thedestructionofspace
Distanceenablesbecauseweneedspacetosee.Ifwestandinthesameplaceassomethingwewillnever
seeit.Sofearmustnowconcealthesecondrule:thatthetargetalwaysexistsoutsideinmeasurable
space.Hedestroysasenseofdistanceandspacebypretendingthattheimaginationtakesplace
exclusivelywithin.‘EverythingIcanimaginemusttakeplaceinsidemyhead.Myimaginationis
internal.EverythingIimaginetakesplacerightinsideme.’Thegrimlogictakesitstoll.Therenow
seemstobenoenablingdistancebetweenyouandthetarget.Thathelpfulgulfhasvanishedandnowyou
arejammedupwiththeoutsideworld,likeafaceagainstawall.Nodistance:nosight.
Thedestructionoftime
Fearalsounderminesthethirdrule,thatthetargetalreadyexists.Hemanagestoconfuseyoubysplitting
timeinparallelmirrors,asinaliftwhichmultipliesyouinfinitelyasyouwaitforyourfloor.These
mirrors,thepastandfuture,distractyoutillyoucannotseethetargettherewaving.ThenFearcallsuphis
oldfriendsintheGovernment:Blame,Obligation,andPunishmentwillhelpcontrolyou.Responsibility
heheapsonyourshoulders,Dutyhechainsroundyourneck.‘Itisuptoyou,’theyallmurmur,‘toinvent
things;nothingiswaitingtobediscovered.Yourdutyistomanufactureall,energiseallandcontrol
all.Youaresolelyresponsibleforabsolutelyeverything.Youareevenaccountableforwhatisnot
happeningandyouarelettingeverybodydown.Whyareyouso
lazy/useless/empty/thoughtless/unimaginative/talentless?’ThereisnostrictermoralistthanFear;and
nomoralistisastrangertoFear.
Thedestructionofthespecific
Fearnowmustblurrulefour,whichstatesthatthetargetisalwaysspecific.Now,thethingwe
irrationallyfearcertainlyappearsspecific.Butthatphantomdisasteronlyseemshideouslyreal.So
hideousinfactthatweneverletourselvesgetcloseenoughtoexamineit.Soweareterrifiedthatwewill
...what?Itisworthaskingthesimplequestion.Soobviousthatsometimeswenevergiveourselvestime
toanswerit.Whatmightwedo?Falloffthestage?Actbadly?SofarasIknow,noonehaseverdied
becausetheygaveapoorperformance.Theterrorthatappearssofrighteninglyrealdiminishesunder
closerscrutiny.Ofcourseitissadtodopoorwork.Butthen,weinevitablydoalotofbadworkandwe
allhavetodealwiththat.ButitisFearthatgetsustodobadwork,sothefearofworkingbadlybecomes
aself-fulfillingprophecy.Ratherasguiltmakesusirresponsible.
Thefearthatthingsmightgobadlyhastobekeptinproportion.WilltheearthreallyimplodeifIgivea
duffperformance?Steelingourselvestoexaminethefaceofthethingwefearwilldiminishthatfear.
Fear’sployistostopuslookingathim,orindeedanythingelse,closelyandattentively.Whenpanic
strikesithelpstorememberthatthesimpleactofpayingattentioniscalming.Infactonlyattentiveness
bringspeace.Ifwearesoterrifiedofwhatwemightseethatweneverpayattentiontoanything,we
abandonourselvestochaos.
Thedestructionofmovement
Fearalsotriestounderminethefifthandsixthrules:thatthetargetisalwaystransformingandactive.
‘Wrong!’saysFear,‘thetargetispassive,immobileandunchanging!’Fearthenisprobablyaliveand
wellandtunnellingawaywhenIcomplainthatmypartneriswooden,anddoesn’tplaythescenelive.‘I
getnothingbackfromhim!’
Anunyieldingpartnermaybeuninspiring;butthere1ssomethingseriouslywrongifIamableto
monitormypartner’squalityofperformance.Itismoreusefultoaskifthepersonwhodoesnotyieldis,
infact,me.
Theactorwhoisdisappointedbyhispartner’sperformance–‘Idon’tbelieveJulietlovesmeenough
formetoplaythescene’–needstoseetheJulietwhodoeslovehimenough.Itistheactor’schallengeto
believe,morethanhispartner’sproblemtoconvincehim.
Similarly,wheneverIcomplainthat:‘Ikeephearingmyvoiceechoingbackatme,droning
monotonouslyaway!’IcanalsoinferthatFearisbusyathissabotage.Because,ofcourse,wheneverI
listentohowmyownvoicesounds,itmustsoundstrange.Thevoiceisatoolfordoingthings.Itisnota
toolforgeneralisedself-expression.TousewordswellIneedtoimaginewhatmypartnerhearsanddoes
nothear.Ineedtoimaginewhatisheardandwhatremainsunheard.Ineedattendonlytothetarget.My
onlybusinessiswiththetarget.When,inthemidstoftalking,IstoptolistentohowIamspeaking,I
invariablyconfusebothwhoeverIamspeakingto–andalsomyself.Myownwordsstarttosoundfake.
Indeed,mywordsmustbecomefakeattheprecisemomentIdetachthemfromthetarget.Thecleverest
wordsbecomegobbledygookwhentheyaredivorcedfromatarget.Itishardforthistohappeninreal
life,because,onthewhole,inreallife,whenwelosethetargetwerunoutofwords.
Thedangeristhat,whenacting,wecanmemorisehugechunksofwordsfromascriptthatsomeone
elsehaswritten.Butthatdoesnotletusoffthehookofhavingtoattachthesewordstotheworldoutside.
Wemayimaginethatthewordsmeansomethingofthemselves.Buteventhemostbrilliantscriptis
unintelligibleifitisnotconnectedtotheoutsideworld,ifitisdetachedfromthetarget.Everyword,in
fact,needstobecausedbytheoutsideworld.Perhapsthisshedssomelightonwhyourrecordedvoices
oftenmakeuscringe.
Whenallaroundseemsdead,itisadelusion.Fearhasdopedustillwenolongerseethetargetchanging
andmoving.
Therogueeye
Fearsplitsyouintoanotherdelusorydouble:you,andtheother‘judging’you,the‘doing’youandthe
‘watching’you.Thissecond,monitoringyouisaharshcriticandbeamsbackarelentlessprogressreport.
‘HowamIdoing?...OK?...Asbadasthat?’Andyoucanneitherhidenorescapefromthisrogueeye.
Soyoubelievethatyouareyourowntarget,nothingexistssaveyouandyourrogueeye,soaring
outsideyourbody,distractingyoufromanyothertarget.You’reapparentlyallalone,withnothingbuta
faketargetforcompany.Andthatismerelyasplitpartofyou,dancingbehindtheaudience’sheads,
winkingandtaunting:‘You’reuseless’or,moreoccasionally:‘You’rebrilliant!’Youbecomeyourown
bestfriend,andsoyouronlyfriend.‘WhoelsedoIneedwhenIhaveme?’Nospaceforathirdinthat
steamyrelationship,andallthetimeFearissmilingandbeckoning.
Adigression:Narcissus,EchoandMedusa
NarcissusandMedusasufferedfromtherogueeye.ThegodspunishedNarcissusforgazingathisown
reflectioninthewater.Hewasturnedintoaflowerandcondemnedtostareathimselfforever.Butthe
godspunishedNarcissusneitherforignoringEchonorforhisobsessionwithhislooks.Indeed,ifhe
couldhaveseenhisowntruebeautyperhapsNarcissuswouldhavebeenalotbetteroff.
Sowhydidtheypunishhim?Theproblemwasthathesawsomethingelseinthewater.Narcissus
caughthisowngazelookingback.Hesawhimselfseeing.Andashesawhimselfseeing,theactionof
seeingwastransformedintoadeathlystate.Hestumbledonawaytoblindhimself–bypervertinghis
sightandturninghisgazeneitherontheouterworld,noronhimself,butonhisownseeing.Hemanagedto
paralysehisownsight.
TheGorgonMedusasufferedasimilarfate.Hergazefrozehervictimsintostone.ButinPerseus’
shieldshealsosawherowneyesseeing.Herpetrifyingstarebouncedbackandsheparalysednot
Perseus,butherself.
Theactormakesexactlythesamemistakebybelievingthathisrelationwiththeoutsideworldisan
inner,ownablestate.Mysightisnotavaluablepossession.MysightisanessentialresourceIsharewith
whateverIsee.PoorNarcissushastofreezeingardenseveryMarch;wecanrememberhisstorywhen
wefeelparalysedtoo.Itismoreconstructivetothrowourselvesonatargetthantomonitorourselves.
ThemythsofEchoandNarcissusdidnotoriginateasprettystoriesforafresco.Stories,however,never
doquitewhatwewant,asweshallconsiderlater.
Theseconduncomfortablechoice:
freedomorindependence
Wenowneedtoconsidertheseconduncomfortablechoice:freedomorindependence.Youchoose.You
canhaveeither,butnotboth,becauseonemustdestroytheother.
Freedomiseverything,butindependenceisnothing.Independenceisbornoffear.Thedesirefor
independenceiscommon.Wedon’twanttodependonthingsthatmightletusdown.Buttryingto
renouncealldependenceisfolly.Weneedtheoutsideworld.Weneedoxygen,food,andstimulus.We
needtargets.Freedomisamystery.Likepresence,itisagiven.Howeveroppressedwemaybe,wecan
stillretainasparkoffreedomthatmakesushuman.Strangely,weoftenfindtheprospectofrealfreedom
quitefrightening.Likepresence,freedomseemstoobigandalarminglyundependable.‘Idon’tmakemy
freedom,soIcan’tcontrolit.ButthethingthatImyselfmake,thatthingIcancontrolnottoleaveme.
SoI’llinventasyntheticfreedom,callit“independence”,andkeepitonalead.Anditwilldo
everythingIsay.’
ProfessorFrankensteinthoughtthesame...
Needandhate
Manyactingproblemsderivefromthesimpleparadoxthatwehatethethingweneed.Themostuseful
thingsaregiven;butwefearthesupplywilldryup.Consequentlywerejectthesegiftsandmanufacture
substitutes.Theseinferiorreplicasareatleastours,becausewemadethem.Andourcreatureswouldn’t
daredropusorhurtus...wouldthey?
Reality,itistrue,hasalottoanswerfor,soonthewholewemakesurewedon’tlivethere.Wecannot
controlreality,butwecancontrolourfantasies.Exceptourfantasiesdon’texist;sowe’renotreally
controllinganythingatall.Buttheillusionofcontrolisdeeplyreassuring.Andthepricewepayforthis
reassuranceisunimaginable.
4
ANESCAPE
Allthisisgrimnews.Whatcanthefrightenedactortrytodo?Unfortunately,‘tryingtodo’isitselfpartof
theproblem.‘Trying’leadstoconcentratingand...‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoing!’Weneedtothink
laterally,becauseFearhasuscareeringinacircle,increasinglyblindtotheoutsideworld.
Therulesofthetargetwillholdgoodforyouhowevermuchyoutrytobreakthem.Therulesarethere
foryou,notyoufortherules.Youcantrytodefythem,butyoucannotchangethem.Theyarebeyondyour
control;andonlybecausetheyareseparatefromyou,outsideyouandfreefromyou,cantheruleshelp
you.
Nowtheycometotherescue.
Therulesareinseparable,butifblockstrikesithelpstoremembertheminasequence,inorderto
separateonefearfromitsmultiplyingother:
1:Thereisalwaysatarget
Howcanthishelppractically,whenyouareblocked?Well,thismustalsomeanthatyoucannotbealone,
howeverhardyoutry.Evenifyouabandonthetarget,itwon’tabandonyou.Thereareplentyoftargets
outthere;allyouhavetodoisseethem.Youcannotannihilatethetarget;youcannotdestroytheworld.
2:Thetargetexistsoutside,
andatameasurabledistance
Thereisameasurabledistancebetweenyouandthetarget.Youandthetargetcannotfuse.Youare
separate.Youcannotfindthetargetinsideyou.Wemaynotlikethetasteofthisrule,butthemedicine
works,particularlywheninsideseemstobeindarknessorchaos.Spaceandtimedoexist.Fearcannot
destroythem.Fearpretendsthatspaceandtimeareourenemies.Indeedthismaybethecaseforthe
characters:perhapsRomeoandJulietdreadseparationandcravetotal,unachievableunion.
Badnewsandgoodnews
Thisisthefirstexampleofausefulprinciple:badnewsforthecharacterisalwaysgoodnewsforthe
actor.
ThereisadistanceinspacebetweenJulietandRomeo.Whenbiddingfarewell,shemayyearntoclingto
Romeo.ButforIrina,theindestructibledistancebetweenJulietandRomeoisimmenselyuseful.ForIrina
canreachandreachtopreventhernewloverfromleaving.ThisunbridgeabledistancemaybeJuliet’s
enemy,butitisIrina’sfriend.ForJulietmaywanttheretobenodistance.Julietmaywanttounitewith
Romeo,butshecan’t,andnotjustbecausethebalconygetsintheway.Romeoisdifferent,separateand
thereforeoutofhercontrol.JulietcanreachtowardsRomeo;shecantrytobridgethatgapbetweentheir
bodiesandtheirminds.ButJulietwillfail;whateverJulietwantswillalwaysbejustoutofherreach.
ButJuliet’sfrustrationisIrina’shope.ForIrina,onthecontrary,thisdistanceisthebestpossiblenews,
anall-importantspacethatJulietcankeeptryingtospan,andkeepfailing.Thisenablingdistanceis
crucialforitensuresthatIrinacanletJuliettryashardasshelikes,andIrinacanrestassuredthatJuliet
canneveraccomplishwhatJulietwants.
Thisenablingdistanceprovidestheactorwithanobstacletoovercome.Iftherewerenoobstacleto
overcome,therewouldbenoquest.Noquest:death.Everylivingmomentcontainsanelementofquest.
Irinacanrelyontheunalterablerulethatthereismeandthereistheotherandthatthereisameasurable,
changeableyetineffaceabledistancebetweenthetwoofus.
Itmayhelptounknotthefollowingprinciple:theactorcannevercompletewhatthecharacterwants
becausethecharactercannevercompletewhatthecharacterwants.Inotherwords,Irinacanplaythe
sceneforallsheisworthandJulietwillstillhavesomethinglefttoneedandsomedistancelefttobe
covered.Julietnevergetsallthatshewants.Julietneverachieveshergoal,orfinishesherjourney.
Incompletenessorseparationmaybethecharacter’senemy,buttheyarealwaystheactor’sfriend.
Thepointandthepath
Creationkeepsusapart,howevermuchwemaytrytounite.Wearenotfused,andcanneverbecome
fused.Fearoftenmakesusbelievewearefused.Wemustneverforgetthataspecificdistancealways
separatesusfromthetarget,andthisgapcanneverbedestroyed.Thespaceopensadistance,adistance
thatenables.Assoonasthereisadistance,thereopensapotentialpath.
Andeventhemostrudimentarypathhastwopoints,thebeginningandtheend:me,andwhereIcango.
Fusionparalyses;distancemoves.
AstheGodofGenesisclefttheabyssintonightandday,sowecansplitthescarynothingintotwo
points.Wheretherearetwopointsthereisapossiblepath,andwecanalwaysimaginemovingalonga
path.Andassoonaswecanmove,wecanalsobreathe.
BeliefinthespecificdistancehelpsconquerthetwogreatsymptomsofFear.‘Ican’tbreathe’and‘I
can’tmove’arethetwinproductsofFear,andtheygointobusinesstomanufactureFearthemselves.Fear
thensellsthefranchisetomakelittlefactoriestocreatemoreofhimself;likearetrovirusthatconfusesthe
protectingcellintobehavingasadestroyer.
3:Thetargetexistsbeforeyouneedit
Wecannotcreateatarget.Thetargetdoesnotneedtobecreated.Assoonaswefeellost,thetargetis
alreadywaitingtobefound.Aswehaveseen,thisdoesnotmeanthatatargetcanexistinthepast.
Nothingexistsinthepastbecausethepastdoesnotexist.Thisiscomfortingbecausethetargetisready
andwaitingforyoutoseeit.Thetargetisalreadythereonthesurface;itisnotburiedinsomedeepplace
whereonlycleverpeopleknowtodig.
WhenIamaskedwhatIwouldliketoeattomorrow,myeyesfocus,shiftandrefocustryingtodiscover
whatisalreadythere.AllIhavetodoisfindit.Ihavetofindtomorrow’sbeerandpizzainthe‘thereand
now’.Ihavetoseewhatisalreadythere.WhatIseeisalreadythere,Icannotfabricateit.Icanneither
createnorinvent;Ihavetofind.
4:Thetargetisalwaysspecific
Fearattemptstoblurtheoutlinesofwhatwesee.Fearsmudgesthedifferencesbetweenthings.Fear
insinuatesthatwemustneverseethingstooclearlyotherwisewewillseethebogeyman.Ofcourse,this
isalie.Fearmakesusscaredtoseethespecific,becausethespecificwilldiminishhim.Weknowthen
thatwhatwearelookingforisspecific.
Ifthefaceofthethingthatisfearedseemstohaveasmudgedoutline,weneedtobraceourselvesand
studythescaryblur.Oddly,wewillfindthatthefaceneverseemstogetanyclearer.Themorewe
examineit,themorethefacesmudgesitselftoavoidscrutinyandexposure.Indeed,werewetodare
analysetheface,itwoulddisintegrateinourhandslikeamaskmadeofdust.
5:Thetargetisalwaystransforming,and
6:Thetargetisalwaysactive
Aswehaveseen,thetargetmustalwaysbechangingandthetargetmustalwaysbedoingsomething
active.Ifitdoesn’tchangeorifitiscompletelystill,it’sdead.Ifitcan’tmove,itisn’tatarget.Sothe
blockedactorknowstosearchforsomethingthatis:
specific
moving
outside
changing
active
waitingtobediscovered
needingtobechanged
ThishelpsIrinanarrowthefield.Sheknowsnownottolookforsomethingthatis:
general
still
internal
constant
passive
needingtobecreated
unchangeable
–whichispreciselywhatFearhasledhertoexpect.
Butwhathappensifthetargetappearstovanish?Whathappensifthetargetseemstoabandonmetothe
clutchesofFear?Ifallsixrulesfail,thenwhatistobedone?Fearhasmadethespecificseemgeneral,
movementfrozen,andalldistanceintimeandspaceweldedintoanewandhorriblealloy.More
devastatingly,Fearhassplitthesavingpresentintoadelusorydouble,thepastandthefuture.WhatcanI
do?
Well,youcancopytheenemy’sstrategy.Fearusesthedelusorysplitintotwo,sowhynotyou?You
mustfirstfindatarget,the‘night’orthe‘future’,orRomeo,inpanicanythingwillhavetodo–andthen
splitit.Theseare‘thestakes’.
5
THESTAKES
Thestakesopentoofferthebestescapefromblock.Theactormustfirstseeatarget,andbeforeit
vanishes,thattargetmustbesplitintotwo.
Aswehavejustseen,everylivingmomenthasanelementofquest.Everylivingcreatureateverymoment
ofitslifehastodealwithasituationwhichwilleithergetbetterorworse.Thisbetterorworsemightbe
infinitesimallysmall,buttherewillalwaysbesomedegreeofbetterorworse.Allwecanbesureofis
change.
Similarly,Julietfacesasituationthatcannotremainthesame.EvenifJulietweretoabandonRomeoto
staywithherparentsandremainforeverdreamingfromthatbalconyshewouldstillfindheruniverse
changing.Foronething,shewillgetold.Evenifshewantstokillhopeandremainforeveralittlegirl,
shecanneverdefythegreatfluxofthings.
Foryou,forme,forthetiniestamoebaandforJuliet,therewillalwaysbesomethingtobelostand
somethingtobewon.Andwhateverwesayordowillbeinordertomakethesituationbetterandto
preventitfromgettingworse.Thisquestmotorstheactor.
Themorecloselyweexaminethetarget,themorewewillseethatitsplits.Anditsplitsintotwo
halvesofequalsize.Thetargetalwaysdividesintoabetteroutcomeandaworse.Romeosplitsintothe
RomeothatJulietwantstosee,andtheRomeothatJulietdoesn’twanttosee.Hiswordssplitintothe
wordsshewantstohear,andthewordsshedoesn’twanttohear.Juliet,likeallofus,livesinadouble
universe:shehasdoublevision.JulietseesaRomeowhounderstandsher,andalsoaRomeowhocannot
understandher,aRomeowhoisstrongandaRomeowhoisweak.
Thestakesaresoimportanttheyhavetheirowndoublerule.Theunbreakabledoubleruleisas
follows:
1.Ateverylivingmomentthereissomethingtobelostandsomethingtobewon.
2.Thethingtobewonispreciselythesamesizeasthethingtobelost.
Twoandone
ItisnotenoughforIrinatosaythatthesituationisimportantforJuliet.ItisnotenoughtosaythatJuliet’s
lifedependsonwhatshedoes.Irinaneedstoseewhatisatstake.Andthatissomethingverydifferent.
Thestakesarenotwoollyorvague;thestakesarespecificandtheymustcomeinperfectlypairedtwos.
Rememberingthisshapeof‘two’ratherthan‘one’iscrucialfortheactorindifficulty.Forexample,if
Irinaasks:‘Whatisatstakehere?’,andshereplies:‘IwanttorunawaywithRomeo’,thatisan
exampleofexpressingherselfin‘one’.Irinahasunknowinglyremovedthenegative.Thismayseemlike
nit-picking.Butthesimplifiedanswerin‘one’mayconfuseIrinainthelongrun.Itmayteaseandfrustrate
theactortodigforthisdouble,boththepositiveandthenegative,butthepositiveinfrictionwiththe
negativeispreciselywhatsparkstheactor.
Whatisatstakecannotbesimply:
‘thatIwillrunawaywithRomeo.’
Whatisatstakeis:
‘thatIwillrunawaywithRomeo
andthatIwillnotrunawaywithRomeo.’
Boththepositiveandthenegativearepresentatthesametime,boththehopeandthefear,boththeplus
andtheminus.
Indeedabetterquestionthan‘Whatisatstakehere?’is‘WhatdoIstandtogainandwhatdoIstand
tolose?’
‘MyNursewillprotectme
andmyNursewillbetrayme.’
‘Allwillbewell
andallwillbeadisaster.’
‘IfIshowhowkeenIam,Romeowillbeattractedtome
andmyforwardnesswillrepelRomeo.’
ItisevenmoreconstructiveforIrinatotrytoseethroughJuliet’seyes:
‘IseeaRomeowhowantstorunawaywithme
andIseeaRomeowhodoesn’twanttorunawaywithme.’
‘IseeaRomeoIwanttorunawaywith
andIseeaRomeoIdon’twanttorunawaywith.’
‘IseeatomorrowwithRomeo
andIseeatomorrowwithoutRomeo.’
Actorsoftenexperienceparalysisbecausetheyhavebeenlookingfora‘one’.Thesearchfor‘one’isa
wildgoosechase;thereisnomagic‘one’thatwillsolveeverything.Lifecomesinopposed‘twos’.
Tryingtosimplify,cutcornersandgetthingsdonein‘one’blockstheactor.Thisruleof‘two’isaseasy
asridingabicycleandequallydifficulttoexplaininwords.
Itisbetterfeltthroughexample.Thereisnonightwithoutday.Thereisnohonourwithoutshame.Anda
declarationofloveisterrifyingbecausethejoyofbeinglovedbackmustexactlymirrortheterrorof
beingrejected.Tosomethisideawillappearstraightforwardandelementary,toothersperverseand
Byzantine.Butwearenotdealingwithspiritualrevelationorthetruth.Allthatmattershereisthatsuchan
ideamayhelptheactormoveforward.
Pain
Whydowehaveaninbuiltresistancetoseeingtheworldinthesetwos?Oneanswerisverysimple.We
don’tlikepain.Wedon’tlikepaininourbodies.Andwedon’tlikepaininourheads.Andthese‘twos’
makepain.Forexample,wetendtoseethegoodinpeoplewelikeandwetendtoseethebadinpeople
wedislike.Itmakesforamorecomfortableworldview.Itisn’tanaccurateworldview.Butitisless
painful.Andwearepreparedtopayalotforourcomfort.
Toseethatpeoplewelovecandobadthingsandthatpeoplewehatecandogoodthingsispainful.But
tobenearJuliet,weneedtobenearnotonlyherjoy,butalsoherpain.
Itisasadironythatalotofblockedactingresultsfromtheactorbeingalltooawarethatthestakesare
low.Sotheactortriesto‘playhigherstakes’.IfIrinafeelsthatwhatsheisdoingisn’tsufficiently
exciting,compelling,fascinating,important,thenshemaytrytomakeherwords,heractionsseemmore
exciting,compelling,fascinating,important.Andanactormayfeelthatthebestwaytodothisisto
disconnectfromtheoutsideworldandpressharderonthepedal.
Theresultisthat‘push’whentheaudiencethinksthattheactorsareshouting.Butthisshoutonlysounds
likeashout.This‘push’maynotbeloud,butitisjustasmeaninglessasshoutingfornoreason–andjust
asgratingontheear.Theactorbecomesprogressivelymoreforcedandgeneralised,theactorfeelsthe
stakesaredropping,andtheactorpushesevenmore.Misery.
Soreallytheactorcannotplaythestakes,inthesensethatthestakesareonethingthatcanbecreated.
Insteadtheactorneedstoseethebigtwo,bothwhatmaybelostandalsowhatmaybewon.Soremember
thatwhenevertheexpression‘thestakes’isused,itneverdescribesastate.Thestakesarealwaystwo
directionsinconflict.Thereisalwayssomethingtobelostandalwayssomethingtobewon.
Eventhetitleofthischapterispotentiallymisleading.Eventheexpression‘thestakes’isafalsefriend,
ifitimpliesthatthestakesareonething.
Theglassofwater
Saywecouldmagicallyservethesameglassofwaterbothtoamillionaireinarestaurantandalsotoa
Legionnairecrawlingthroughthedesert.Simplytosaytheglassofwateris‘lessimportant’foronethan
fortheother,howevertrue,isuselessfortheactor.Forthedoublestakeshavebeenblurredintoa‘one’.
Howcantheactorcleavetheparalysing‘one’intoadynamic‘two’?Well,whatmightbeatstakefor
theLegionnairecouldbe:‘Willthisglassofwaterspill,ornot?’‘Willsomeonestealthewater,ornot?’
Whatthischaracterdoeswilldependuponthestakesthathesees.Whothecharacteriswillalsodepend
uponthestakeshesees.
Forthemillionaire,theremaybeverylittleatstakeintheglassofwater.Hemaynoticetheglass
becauseheismildlythirstyortobettersavourtheChateauMargaux:‘Willthewaterclearmypalateor
not?’Theremaybeverylittleatstake,butifthemillionairenoticesthewateratalltheremustbeatiny
amountforhimtowinortolose.
Logicmayinsistandthescientistwillagreethatthemolecularstructureofthewaterdoesnotchange.
Butasfarastheactorisconcerned,theglassofwateractuallydoeschangeitssubstance.The
Legionnaireandthemillionairedoseedifferentglassesofwater.
Actingisnotaquestionofhowweseethings;actingisaquestionofwhatwesee.Fortheactor,weare
whatwesee.
Arehearsalstory
ImaginewearerehearsingMacbeth,andafterdesperatedaysofuninspiringwork,allatoncelifebreaks
out,thesceneexplodeswithpoweranddanger,andeveryoneintherehearsalroomisriveted:Macbeth
hasglimpsedsomethinghorrible,andthehairsstanduponournecksashecries:‘...Line,please!’
Thestakessoar;forabriefmomentthereisaglimpseofreallifeanddangerandallbecausetheactor
hasforgottenaline.Thebathosmakesusask:howcanthestakesbehigherinarehearsal,thaninplotting
theassassinationoftheHeadofState?Themomentisabsurdandwelaugh–notonlyarethestakesin
rehearsalludicrouslyoutofproportion,soarethestakesintheassassination,eachindifferentdirections.
Suchamomentisusefulforitshowshowmuchfurtherwearefromwhereweneedtobe.Wefool
ourselvesthatweareplayinghighstakeswhenwearenotevenremotelynearwherethesituation
demands.
Passingontheproblem
AsIrinawillknowtoowell,whenpanicstrikes,thestakessoarforher.Butaswewillsee,Irinacan
actuallyreducethestakesforherselfbyincreasingthestakesforJuliet.Soshecanwinbothways.But
howcantheactorshiftthesoaringstakesontothecharacter?Letusthinkaboutthreepeopleinturn:
Romeo,Juliet...andIrina:twofictitiouspeopleandonereal.Whatisatstakeforeach?ForJulietthe
stakesarelocatedmostlyinRomeo,whereasforRomeomostofwhatisatstakeisinJuliet.Willthe
strangebeautyreturnhislove,ordoomhimtoalifeofdespair?
NowforIrina,thestakesarealsohigh,butquitedifferent!IfIrinafeelsblocked,thestakeswillseemto
lieinherveryperformance.Inotherwords,insteadofseeingwhatJulietstandstowinorlose,Irinawill
beoverwhelmedbywhatIrinastandstowinorlose.Forexample,willIrinaactwellorbadly,willIrina
makeafoolofherselfornot?Onceagain,theobviousdifferencesbetweenactorandcharacteronlyseem
obvious.Thesedifferencesarealltooeasilyblurred.ThestakesforIrinaandforJulietmustbe
distinguishedandcarefullyseparated.ThestakesforIrinaandJulietarequitedifferent.HowcanIrina
makethestakeslowforIrinaandhighforJuliet?
Thejourneythrough
First,theactorneedstotransferallthatisatstakefromwhattheactorsees,intowhatthecharactersees.
BecausethestakesforJulietdonotliveinsideJuliet.Instead,thestakesforJulietareinwhatJuliet
sees.SoIrinaneedstotravelthroughJuliettoseewhatJulietseesintheoutsideworld.Irinamustnot
stopinthecharacter.InsteadIrinamustseethroughatransparentJuliettoseeontheothersidewhat
matterstoJuliet.
WhatmatterstoJulietisRomeo.SoIrinaneedstoseethroughJulietandseewhatisatstakeforJuliet
inRomeo.IrinamuststoplookingintoJuliet,forallthatIrinawillfindinJulietiswhatisatstakefor
Irina!Theactormustnotseeintothecharacterbutinsteadseesthroughthecharacter.Theactor’ssight
mustpassthroughthecharacterasifthecharacterweretransparent.Asifthecharacterwereamask.
Theactorseesthroughthecharacter’seyes.Onlyiftheactorseeswhatisatstakeforthecharacterwill
thecharacterlive.
Adigression:unequalstakes?
Thedoublerulestatesthatateverylivingmomenttheremustbesomethingtobelostandsomethingtobe
won.Fearcandonothingaboutthis.Itisanunbreakablerule.
Itisnotprovablethatthethingwestandtolosehasthesamedimensionsasthethingwestandtogain.
Butthenotionisvaluable.Suchsymmetryunderpinstheactor’suniverseforallpracticalpurposes.We
neednotbediscouragedthatwecanneverfindtheexactantonym,thepreciseoppositeword.Theideaof
symmetryispowerful,eveniftheidealcannotbeachieved.Experimentshaveshownthatsymmetry
underpinsevenababy’snotionoffacialbeauty,yetnofaceisperfectlysymmetrical.
Sometimesthestakesdoappeartobeunequal.DermotisinvitedbyKevintotheCurragh.Willhehave
abet?Dermottakesashinetoabored-lookinghorsecalled‘Unlikely’,atahundredtoone.Heputsonten
punts,sohecouldpossiblywinathousand.WhenKevinasks:‘Howdoyoufeel?’thenovicegambler
replies:‘Well,Iwouldlovetowinathousand,butIdon’tmindsomuchlosingten.’Doesthismeanthat
whatDermotstandstowinisfarbiggerthanwhathestandstolose?
No,itdoesn’t.Infactthesymmetryisstillpresent,becausethepositiveoutcome,thejoyatwinninga
thousand,iswatereddownbyitsunlikelihood,andthemiseryoflosingiswatereddownbythesmallness
oftheamount.Theybothevenout.
Irinaneedstoassumethatthisprecisesymmetryexistsasagiven,andthenundertakethetaskoffinding
it.Itmaybeacrucialprerequisiteofresearchthatthescientistneverbeginsfromtheconclusion.Butwe
arenotscientists.Thesplittingoftheoneintotwocanreleaseenergyintheactorasitdoesinnuclear
fission.
Adigression:themovingstakes
Wemightalsonoticethattheattentionmaywandertowhereverthereismoreatstake.Whatisatstake
involvesanxietyandhope,andtoexactlyequaldegrees.‘Willthegirlinthelibrarylookatmetoday?
Orwon’tshe?OrdoIcare?’
And,ifnot,Iwilltendtoshiftmyattentiontowhereitismorestimulated.Butthereisanexceptionto
thisrule.Sometimesthereversehappens,andweretreatfromtherealworldbecausethestakesare
intolerablyhigh.Whenthestakessoarpainfully,wecanturnourgazefromrealitytoanimaginaryworld
whereimaginarystakesreplacetherealones,andwecanlivemorecomfortably.Inthisdelusoryworld
wecanexerciseourpowersofpredictionandcontrol.Takethecaseofafatherwhowashesthedishes
ratherthandealwithhisson’sdrugaddiction.Hehasconvincedhimselfthatthemostimportantthingfor
himtodoistomakesurethatthesaucepanisreallyclean,whilehissonstaresvacantlyatthecoffee.The
fathercanonlyreplaceonesetofstakeswithanother.Thatlastbitofgravy,willitscrapeoff,ornot?
Eventhefatherindenialoftherealstakesmustcreateinhisparalleluniverseyetanothersetofstakes.
However,oneoftheprincipalreasonswegotothetheatreistoseepeoplefacesituationswherethe
stakesaretoweringlyhigh.Theatrehelpsusexploreextremefeelingsinacontrolledsituation.Wemay
notlikethestakessopainfullyhighinourprivateworlds,butwegooutofourwaytoseeotherpeople
experiencethesepolarisedintensities.Wecanwitnesswhatwedarenotliveinthesecurityofagroup
andthereassuranceofmake-believe.
Thetargetisnothowweseethings.Thetargetiswhatwesee.Thesplittargetisthestakes.Atevery
livingmomenttheremustbesomethingtobelostandsomethingtobewon.
6
‘IDON’TKNOWWHATIWANT’
Thesecondspider’slegisintimatelylinkedtothefirst.‘WhatIwant’comesfromthetarget.Ihavetosee
somethingbeforeIcanwantit.‘Wanting’comesfromthethingIsee.WhatJulietwantscomesfromwhat
Julietsees.SeeingwhatJulietseesiswhatmatters.‘DecidingwhatJulietwants’missesoutthecrucial
stepofseeing.Workingout‘whatmycharacterwants’isdifferentfrom‘seeingwhatmycharactersees’.
Andthisdifferenceishelpfulfortheactor.
IrinaneedstoplayasiffromtheinsideofJulietlookingout.IrinadoesnotwanttoplayJulietasif
fromtheoutsidelookingin.Inaway,workingout‘whatJulietwants’isajobforsomeonewhoknows
Julietorwhoiswritingabouther.ButthisisnothowJulietexperiencesthings.FrominsideJuliet,the
worldlooksverydifferent.AndIrinaisplayingasifthroughJuliet’seyes.Irinaisanartist.Irinaisnot
deliveringalectureonJuliet.IrinaneedstoexperiencewhatJulietexperiences.Irinaneedstoseewhat
Julietseesinthemoment–andnotwiththebenefitofhindsight.
Inanycase,‘wanting’isnotalwaysahelpfulwordfortheactor.Thequestion:‘WhatdoIwant?’
impliesthatIchoosewhatIwant,inotherwords,thatIcancontrolwhatIwant.Thatisunlesswethinkof
thisword‘want’initsolderEnglishusageasmeaning‘lack’or‘need’.Theword‘need’helpstheactor
farmore:
IrinacanplaythatshewantstokissRomeo
or
shecanseethelipsthatneedtobekissed.
Thesecondismorelikelytohelp.
Aswehaveseen,fortheactor,desireoriginatesinthetargetandnotinthecharacter’swill.
Manycharactersmayseethattheyhavenochoice,althoughobserversmaywellseethatthecharacter
hasachoice:
RosalindseestheOrlandothatneedstobetaught.
BeatriceseestheBenedickthatneedstobeignored.
OthelloseestheDesdemonathatneedstobestrangled.
Wantandneed
‘Need’makesitclearthatthetargethassomethingthatwecannotdowithout,whereas‘want’canimply
thatwecanstartandstopwantingwithaconcentratedeffortofwill.‘Want’Icanturnonandofflikea
tap,‘need’turnsmeonandoffatitswill.‘Need’moreusefullyremindsusthatwedonotcontrolour
feelings.TheremaybeverylittleneedifIaskforacupofcoffee.Buttherewillbesome.Imayneedthe
coffeetoreassureme,tocuremyhangover,ortopassthetimeandgivemesomethingtodobecause
somewhereIamafraidofhavingabsolutelynothingtodo.Merewantingthecoffeemaydisguiseamore
interestingsetofneeds.Normally,weprefertowantbecausewantingislessmortifyingifweare
rejected.Ifwemerelywant,itisn’tsoshamingnottoget;butnottogetwhenweneedishumiliating.
NeedthinksithasanuglyfaceandsometimesusesWantasamask.
Wecanalwaysfindsomedegreeofneed.Insteadofmerelywantingtotakefreshaironthebalcony,
perhapsJulietneedsfreshairorneedspeacefromtheNurse,orneedsquietfromtheclatterofthe
cleaners.ThereisgreatneedforJulietwhensheasksRomeonottoswearbythe‘inconstantmoon’.She
needshimtobeconstant,matureandthoughtful.SomuchisatstakeforJulietinRomeothatitbecomes
inadequatetosaythatJulietmerelywantsRomeotobethesethings;herfuturedependsonit.Juliet’sneed
passeswanting.
Thecentraldangerinasking‘WhatdoIwant?’isthatitdemotesthetarget.ThequestionimpliesthatI
cancreateandcontrolmydesirewithinsomesortofconcentratedcentre.
‘WhatJulietwants’mayseemtocomefromwhatJulietfeelsinside.Butitonlyseemsthatwayto
someonelookingatJuliet.ToapersonontheoutsideitisobviousthatJuliethasagreatdealofchoicein
herfate.FromthefirstmeetingwithRomeotothefinalminutesinthetomb.ButtoJulietitwillprobably
seemthatalltheseareforcedonher.ShelovesRomeo,whatchoicedoesshehave?ToJulietitwillseem
thatshehasverylittlechoice.
Adigression:choice
Whenwesaythatsomeoneis‘adorable’or‘irresistible’,wedisguisethefactthatwechoosetoadoreor
nottoresistthem.Beauty,wearefrequentlytold,isintheeyeofthebeholder.Butwhydoweneedtobe
remindedsooften?Becauseinreallifeweforgetthisprincipleallthetime.There’snoroomforchoice
intheoldsongs‘YouMadeMeLoveYou’or‘WhatElseCouldIDo?’
Butitisalsooddthatwhenwetalkaboutotherpeopleordiscussacharacter,weoftenaskwhythey
‘chose’somethingorsomeone.Weeasilyforgetthatinsimilarcrises,wethoughtwehadnochoice.
MartinLuthersaid‘Icandonothingelse’andthenstartedtheReformation.Actuallytherewerealotof
otherthingshecouldhavedone.Forexamplehecould,withconsiderablylesseffort,haveremainedan
obscuremonk.Butitdidn’tseemthatwaytohim.Hefelthehadnochoice.HesawaCatholicChurchthat
neededtobechanged.Thecorruptchurchtookhischoiceawayfromhim.Ofcoursehewastormentedby
thedecision,butattheendofthedayhefeltandsawthat:‘Ichkannnichtanders.’
Ontheotherhand,oneofthechiefreasonswegotoseeagreatplayistoseesomeonemakingachoice
thatwillchangetheirlives.Whathappensinthebalconyscene?Julietmakesanextraordinarychoiceto
defyherfamilyandmarryRomeo.Andthatchoicemovesus.Butwhatdoesthatchoicefeellikefrom
inside?WhatdoesJulietfeelatthetime?Inaway,ifthestakesarelow,thereseemstobeanabundance
ofchoice.‘Howwouldyoulikeyourcoffee?Black/white/expresso/cappucino?’Youcanchangeyour
choiceonwhim.Buttomakeagreatchoice,Juliet,likeLuther,hastoimaginethatshehasnorealchoice.
DoImarryRomeoorstaywithmyfamilyandmarryParis?DoesmarryingParisseemtobeareal
option?TotheNurse?Yes.ToJuliet?No.Notafterthebalconyscene.Julietchoosesbyimaginingher
optionshavebeenreducedtoone.
Theagoniser,however,findsithardtomakeuphismind.LikeLadyMacbeth’scatintheadagewho
lets‘“Idarenot”waitupon“Iwould”’,orHamletwith‘Tobeornottobe’.ButaslongasHamlet
perceiveshehasachoice,hecannotmakeone.NotuntilthefinalactdoesHamletchoosetokill
Claudius.Buttohimitseemsasifhehasleftituntilhehasnochoice.
Needinganddoingcannotbedivorced.Beforewecanfinishwithwant/needwemustreconsider
‘doing’or‘action’.
Merewantingtendstodiminishthestakesuntilthesituationcanbeactedbothcomfortablyandfalsely.
7
ACTIONANDREACTION
Humanbeingsareanimalsthattakethingspersonally.AstudentseesagirlinthelibraryreadingAnna
Karenina.Hisattentionwillautomaticallywandertoanothertargetifheisnotinterestedinher.Butthe
morehisinterestisarousedbythegirl,thelesshemayseeherreadingTolstoy,andthemorehewillsee
heractivelyignoringhimatthenextdesk.Inreality,ofcourse,thegirlmaybequiteunawareofthis
changeinheraction.Hecoughs,brushespasther.Stillsheignoreshim.Hewantstochangewhatthegirl
isdoingtohim.Thegirlmaywellnotevenhavenoticedhim.Butheseesanindifferencethatishighly
active–anindifferencehemustchange.
Areactionfollowsanaction,becauseareactionistheconsequenceofanaction.AsNewtonexplained:
‘Toeveryactionthereisanequalandoppositereaction.’Indeedwhateverwedomustbeareactionto
somethingthathashappenedbefore.
Wehaveseenthatthetargetisneverpassive;thetargetisalwaysactive.Allourapparentactionsarein
factonlyreactionstowhatthetargetisalreadydoing.
Doesthisreallymeanthatweneverstartanything?Precisely.Andtheprincipleisexceptionallyuseful
fortheactor.WhenIseemtostartoffsomething,infactIammerelyrespondingtosomethingelse.InfactI
cannotoriginatesomethingbymyself,whateverIdohastobeasareactiontosomethingelsethatgoes
before.SowhenIact,this‘somethingelsethatgoesbefore’iscrucial.
Theactorcannotplayinavoid
Irinamayfeelblockedrightatthebeginningofthescene:‘ORomeo,Romeo,whereforeartthou
Romeo?’Shehasacleartarget,presumablyanimaginaryRomeo.ButwhydoesJulietaddressthesefirst
wordstohim?Isittoteasehim?Isittoseducehim?Isittodestroyhim?Isittore-createhim?Thereare
manyinterestingchoicesforIrina,alldependentonthetarget.Buttheideaofchoosingisareductionof
whatweactuallygothroughinreallife.WhatwillalwayshelpIrinaistoplayareaction.
SoIrinafirstneedstoseewhatthisimaginaryRomeoisalreadydoing.Becauseitis‘whatRomeois
doing’thatmakesJulietdothings.JulietseesRomeodoingsomething,andshetriestochangewhatheis
doing.IsthisimaginaryRomeoteasingJuliet,talkingabouthisfather,explainingthataMontaguecan
nevermarryaCapulet,tellingJulietthatheisproudtobecalledRomeoMontague,simplyignoringher,
ormakinginconsequentiallove?WhatisRomeodoingthatJulietneedstochange?WhatcanRomeobe
doingthatmakesJulietsay:‘ORomeo,Romeo,whereforeartthouRomeo?’
Textandreaction
‘Arosebyanyothernamewouldsmellassweet’isnotahorticulturalobservationtippedintoavacuum.
WeknowthatitistargetedonRomeo.ButonwhichspecificRomeo?OnRomeoasthesonofMontague?
ButeventhisisnotspecificenoughtohelpIrina.Irinaneedstoseewhatthetargetisspecificallydoing.
IrinaneedstoseewhatRomeoisalreadydoingsothatJulietmayreacttoit.HereitmayhelpIrinatosee
aRomeowhoisactivelydefendinghisidentity,sothatJulietmustreactwith:‘Arose/Byanyother
namewouldsmellassweet’tostophimdefendinghisfamilyname.
‘Itisnorhandnorfoot/Norarmnorfacenoranyotherpart/Belongingtoaman.’
AtthismomentIrinamightimaginethatRomeoisinsistingthathisnameisasmuchapartofhimasis
hisbody.SothatJuliethastointerrupthim,tocontradicthim,tochangehim.ThenifIrinaimaginesthat
Romeohasjustsaid:‘Mynameisasimportanttomeasmybody!’itbecomesmorelikelythatJuliet
needstonamepartsofthebodytochangeRomeo’spointofview.
Inshort,itmakesiteasierforIrinatoseewhatRomeoisdoing.LetIrinaseethattheactionis
somethingthatisalreadybeingplayedbyRomeo.
Theactorreactstoanactionthatisalreadyoccurringsomewhereelse.Theactorneveroriginatesa
totallyindependentaction.Inotherwords:‘Iseethetargetplayinganaction,andasareaction,Itryto
changethetarget’saction.’
Thisconstructionmaysoundcomplicated,butithelpswhenIrinastepsontoabalconyandfeelsshehas
ahorrificallywidechoiceofemotionstoshoworstatestoembody.LetIrinaseetheactionthatshemust
change.LetIrinanotbecreativeandimaginefromthesumtotalofinfinityalltheexcitingthingsthatshe
mightdo.ItisfarmorehelpfulforIrinatorelyonhercuriosity,openhereyesandseewhatisalready
beingplayedoutsideherthatsheneedstochange.
Romeo
Let’sgiveIrinaarestandpaysomeattentiontoAlexwhoisplayingRomeoandwhoalsofeelsstuck.
‘ItistheeastandJulietisthesun!’Alexaddressestheaudiencedirectly.Hetrieshardtobesincere
buthepushesandpushesandfeelsfrustrated.Themoreepicfeelinghetriestopourintothewords,the
worsehefeels.Ofcourse,ifAlexusesthislinetodescribewhathefeels,hewillblockhimself.The
actorwhodescribesmerelyemotesandshows.Buthehasanotherproblemandthatisthathethinksthe
lineisabouthisloveforJuliet.ThelinemayrefertoJuliet,butthelinecanonlybe‘about’whoeverheis
talkingto.
Sothelinemustbe‘about’theaudience.TheaudienceisthereforedoingsomethingthatAlexwantsto
change.WhatmustRomeoseefirstbeforehecanutter:‘ItistheeastandJulietisthesun!’?Perhapshe
seesadull,passionlessaudience.ThatwouldthenforceRomeotokick-starttheirprosaicimaginations
intoappreciatingthefullsplendourofJuliet.SoalthoughthislinemayseemtobeaboutJuliet,itisnot.
Romeoistryingtochangetheaudience’sperceptionofJuliet,whichissomethingentirelydifferent.
CreativeindependencewillnothelpAlexasmuchasseeinganaudiencethatisalreadyclaiming:‘We
don’tseeanythingverysignificant.Weonlyseeayounggirlonabalcony.That’sall!’ThenRomeohas
tochangewhattheaudienceisthinking:‘Itistheeast(areyoublind?!)andJulietisthesun!’
Toreiterate,thelineisemphaticallynotadescriptionofJuliet.TheimageoftheEastandtheSunisnot
‘about’Juliet.IfAlexplaysthislinetobe‘about’Julietthentheenergywillsnaplikeelasticbackinhis
eye.Theimageis‘about’whoorwhatheisaddressing.Alltextisatooltochangewhatthetargetis
alreadydoing.
Romeo’swordsareareactiontowhatheseestheaudiencethinking.ThereforeAlexneedstoworkon
whatRomeoimaginesthattheaudienceisthinking.Wewillconsiderallthismorepracticallywhenwe
cometothepre-textexerciseinChapter17.
Whatwesayisneveraboutwhatwesay;whatwesayisaboutwhowearetalkingto.Whatwesayisa
tooltochangeourhearers.
Theforgetfulbusinessman
Abusinessmanisransackinghisflatforhispassport.Inplayingthatsituation,theactormayfeelthathe
hastooriginatesomething,but,infact,theactorcanplayonlyareactiontowhathesees.Thatmustmean
thatthechangingtarget,hispassport,hisbriefcase,hischestofdrawers,isalreadyperpetratinganaction.
Aswehaveseen,whattheactordoes–throwingjacketsoverhisshoulder,etc.–ismerelyaresponseto
thisoriginatingaction.Butwhatcanthatpassivelittlepassportbedoing?
Well,thepassportcanbeactivelyhidingfromthebusinessman.Oratleastthatishowitmayseemto
thebusinessman.Thismayseemcrazyfromacoolandcollecteddistance,butsuchparanoiaseemsless
absurdwhentheminutestickby,thetaxiishootingoutside,andyouripthroughyourpocketsonemore
time.
Asthesecondhandjerksroundthedial,thestakesrise,andthebusinessmangrowsincreasingly
enragedandhelpless.Thisemotionalstatecannotbeacted.Butwhatcanbeactedisthebusinessman’s
reactiontowhathesees.Andwhatdoeshesee?Heseesaninfuriatingworldouttofrustratehimagain!It
isthefaultofwhoevertidiedup;itisthefaultofhimself,hisincreasingdisorganisation;itisthefaultof
thecushionthatishidingthepassport;itisthefaultofthecrammedbriefcase;itisthefaultofthehostile
universethatisconspiringtomakehimmisstheplane.
Everythinghedoes,tearingoutdrawers,emptyingpocketsandshakingoutbooks,seemsquiteactiveto
theobserver.But,aswehaveseen,itismorepracticalfortheactortoseethroughthecharacter’seyes,as
ifthebusinessmanwerealens.Forhispart,thebusinessmanseesamaddening,stubborn,all-powerful
universe.Andinthisuniverselurksavengefullittlepassport,orobtusecleaner,orfussycushion,or
snarled-uppocket.Thefranticsearchingisnotanoriginatingactionatallbutmerelyaresponsetoa
highlyactivesetoftargets.
Thepassporthides;sohetriestofindit.Thetaxihootingmakeshimhurry;soheshoutstomakeitwait.
Theuniversefrustrateshim;sohetriestocontrolit.Heseesthetargetdoingsomethingtohim,andthe
businessmantriestocontrolormitigateordealwiththis.
Thecharacter’sreactionistochangethetarget’sexistingaction,whichisdirectedtowardsthecharacter.
Thesplitreaction
IfIalwayshavesomethingtowinandsomethingtolose,thenpresumablywhatIamdoingmustalsosplit
intwo.ForImustalwaysbetryingtobringaboutwhatIwanttohappen.Andatthesametime,Imust
alwaysbetryingtopreventwhatIdon’twanttohappen.Anexamplewillmakethisclearer.
Theunexplodedbomb
SayAlexhastakentimeoffrehearsalstobeinafilm.Heisplayinganunexploded-bombexpertinawar
epic,anditishisbigscene.ThedirectorhasverylittletimeandsaystoAlex:‘Youcrawlthroughhere,
thisisyourtoolkit,thesearethetweezersandthatisthebomb.’NowAlexmightpreparebytelling
himselfwhatheisdoing:‘IamtryingtodefusethebombandIamtryingnottoblowmyselfup.’Very
good.However,ifheweretoask:‘ButexactlywhichofthesetwoamItryingtodoatanygiventime?
Defusethebomb?Orsavemyself?’itwouldbeabsurd.Theanswermustbeboth.‘But,preciselywhich
amIdoingatwhichtime?AmInowtryingtodefusethebomb?OramInowtryingnottoblowmyself
up?Which?’Theanswermuststillbe:‘Both,atthesametime.’Allthesequestionsdemandananswerin
ouroldenemy,‘one’,andthereforemislead.
InsteadletAlexseethebombdirectlythroughtheeyesoftheexpert.Theexpertknowstheminutiaeof
thewiresandsprings,andAlexneedstohavedonehisresearch.Whichfuseconnectswhere?Butrather
thanworkoutwhathewantsfromthewiring,Alexneedstoask‘WhatdoIsee?’Andhewillseein
doubles.‘Willthoseshakingtweezerssavemeorblastmetoeternity?’
Thinkingindoubles
SoitwillalsohelpIrinatothinkindoublesasfollows:
ItrytoteachRomeo,andItrynottoconfusehim.’
ItrytoseduceRomeo,andItrynottorepelhim.’
ItrytoamuseRomeo,andItrynottofrightenhim.’
ItrytounderstandRomeo,andItrynottomisunderstandhim.’
ItrytowarnRomeo,andItrynottotrivialisethesituationtohim.’
ItrytotellRomeothetruth,andItrynottolietohim.’
Again,thewordsareclumsythatweusetodescribethesesplitreactions,but,asweknow,symmetryis
onlyausefulideal.WhatmattersisthatthemoreIamtryingtodosomethingthenthemoreIamtryingnot
todosomethingelse,andeachtothesamedegree.Thisbecomesmoreapparentasthestakesrise.
Thesplitreactionisobviousandinevitableonceweareaccustomedtothedualityofthestakes.Itis
usefulbecausewhenweareveryblocked,thissplittingreleasesenergylikeasplitatom.Thesplit
reactionclears,refinesanddefineswhattheactorsees.
Itisnottruethattheactorcannotplaytwothingsatonce.Wearealwaysplayingtwothingsatonce.But
thesetwothingsarehighlyspecificandpreciselyopposed.Wemustplayindoublesbecausethereis
alwayssomethingtobelostandsomethingtobewon.
Adigression:isthereonlyconflict?
Surelythereareexceptionstothisperpetualfriction?Surelythestakescanshrinktonil?Doesn’tpeace
everbreakout?Letustakeamoreplacidexperience.ImagineyouseeabirchtreeinMayandits
shivering,filteringleavesinducedeepcalm.Thebirchgivespeaceandyoutakeit.Ifyoufeelprofound
peacetoseetheleavesflickeryellowinthesun,whatistheproblem?Butyoucannotpossessthat
attentionasastate.Iwouldimaginethatmostpeoplewhohaveexperiencedrapturewouldbethefirstto
tellusthatthismomentoftotalunityisalltootemporary.Thestateinvariablydissolves;itisunstable–
‘Pleaseletmestaythishappyforever!Pleasedon’tletthisfeelingend!’
Livingfriction
Lifeisaboutuncomfortabletwosandnotsafeones.Theconflictingenergiesinthetargetwilldecidewhat
wefeelanddo.Theactioniswhatthetargetisdoing.ThereactionishowItrytochangethetargetsothat
insteaditdoeswhatIneedittodo.
AteverymomentthereissomethingIstandtoloseandsomethingIstandtogain.ThereissomethingI
needandsomethingImustavoid.ThereissomethingIneedtodoandsomethingImustavoiddoing.
ThereisanoutcomeIneedandanoutcomeImustavoid.ThereisaneffectIneedtohave,andaneffectI
mustavoidhaving.
Ifitdoesn’tmoveit’sdead
Alivingbeingisalwaysinflux,becausealllifemoves.Butwearenottalkingaboutanyoldgeneralised
movement.Livingmovementmayseemhaphazard,butneveris.Thisfluxisspecificandgeneratedby
opposites,ratheraselectricitywhenitsparksbetweenpositiveandnegativeterminals.Acharacterisnot
afixedpointbutratheraseriesofjourneysinoppositedirections.Buttheseopposingjourneysaredown
highlyspecificpaths.
Actorscanunleashtremendousenergyaftergraspingthathumansmustplaythesedoubles.Notonlyare
theylogical,theyhelp.
8
‘IDON’TKNOWWHOIAM’
‘WhoamI?’isoftenthefirstquestionaskedincreatingacharacterbutitcanbeunhelpful.Tryingto
answer‘WhoamI?’isalifetime’sworkfortheindividual,andindeedthemorewediscoverourselves,
themorewerealisethatwedon’tknowourselvesatall.If,then,wecannotproperlyanswerthequestion
aboutourselves,howcanwepossiblyansweritaboutsomeoneelse?‘WhoamI?’isanEverestofa
question,unlikelytoempowertheactorintheshortspanofrehearsal.
Evenworse,theinnocentseeming‘WhoamI?’islacedwithaparalysinganaesthetic.Why?Becauseit
impliesananswerin‘one’–‘WhoisJuliet?’ThedaughterofaVeronesearistocrat?Afourteen-year-old
girl?ThefiancéeofParis?Andeachoftheseanswers,thoughtrue,isstatic.Eachoftheseanswerscan
paralysebecausenodescriptionthatarrivesin‘one’canmove.
Irinaneedsanswersthatarealive.Sheneedsquestionswithanswersthatshift.
Afluxbetweentwopoles
WhatquestionswouldhelpIrinamore?‘WhowouldIliketobe?’ismoreusefulbecauseitimpliesan
answerthatmoves.‘WhowouldIliketobe?’isevenmoreusefulwhenaskedwithanearoppositesuch
as:‘WhoamIafraidImightbe?’
SoJulietmaystarttoimaginesimply:‘IwouldliketobethewifeofRomeo,IamafraidImight
becomethewifeofParis.’Andonto:‘IwouldliketobesomeonelovedbyRomeo,andamafraidI
mightbecomeamistressbetrayedbyRomeo.’
Transformation
Acrucialthingtorememberaboutcharacteristhesimplest:theactorcannotactuallytransform.This
seemsmoreobviousthanitis.Sometimesactorspunishthemselvesbecausetheyhavenotachieveda
‘transformation’.Butthequestfortransformationisasvainasthequestforperfection.Itisimportantto
knocktheideaoftransformationsquareonthehead.Wecannotchangeourselvesandwecannottransform
ourselves.Westaystill,onlythetargetmoves.
Theonlythingthatcantransformisthetarget.Andthetargetispermanentlytransforming.
OfcourseJulietchangesthroughouttheplay.ButIrinacannotdepictthatchange.AlthoughIrinacan
directlyshownotransformationinJuliet,shecanrememberthefifthrulethatthetargetisalways
transforming.Consequently,althoughIrinacannotmakeJulietchange,shecanseethroughJuliet’seyesall
thethingsthatseemtochangearoundJuliet.Forexample,IrinacanseethatJuliet’sbedstartsto
metamorphose.ItmayhelpreleaseIrinaifJulietsees:
Thebedthatshewakesupinbeforetheball.
Thebedshetriestosleepinafterthebalconyscene.
ThebedinwhichshemakeslovetoRomeo.
ThebedshemighthavetosharewithParis.
Thebedshewilldrugherselfin.
Thesebedsaredifferentthroughouttheplay.ItisbetterforIrinatoletthebedtransform,ratherthantry
totransformJuliet.ItwillhelpIrinamoretoseethatJulietdoesnotchangethroughouttheplay,butthe
beddoes.
Seeingourselveschange
Liketherestofus,Julietcannotdirectlychangeherself,butshecan,ofcourse,realisethatshehasbeen
changed.Andthemomentthatwerealisethatwehave(been)changedisalwaysamomentofdistance
fromourselves–Iseethatsomethingdoesnotenragemethatoncewouldhave–Iseethatsomething
makesmesadIoncewouldhavelaughedat.IhavetoseemyselfataslightdistancebeforeIcanseethatI
havebeenchanged.
‘FainwouldIdwellonform;fain,faindeny
WhatIhavespoke.Butfarewell,compliment.’
PerhapsJulietseesthatshehasbeentransformedthisnight.Perhapsonceshewouldhavedwelton
form,andpretendednottohavefeltsuchthings.PerhapstherewasapreviousJulietwhowassocially
accomplishedoratleastwellbehaved,andthisJulietisdead,andamorevitalJulietisborn.Ithelps
IrinatotrawlformomentswhenJulietseesJulietmoreclearly.ButifIrinatriestoshowanythingin
Juliet,shewillmerelyprovideaneatessayoncharacterdevelopment,asin:‘Heresheisayoung
innocent,heresheissexuallyreleasedandtransformedbylove,heresheisamourningwidow.’
Neithertheactornorthedirectornortheauthorcanfullycontroltheaudience’sperceptions.Allthree
maytrytodemonstrateachange,toshowhowthecharacterhasbeentransformed.Butsuchshowingis
ultimatelyfalse.Eventryingtoactivelychangeourselvesishazardous.Allwecandoisseethingsever
moreclearly,evermorepresently,andevermoreattentively.Changethenmayhappentous.Change,
however,remainsabsolutelyoutofourcontrol.
Moreimportantly,IrinamustrememberthattheaudiencehasnotcometoseeJuliet.Theaudiencehas
cometoseeIrina.Moreprecisely,theaudiencehascometoseewhatIrinasees.Irinahasnobusiness
tryingtochangeherself.Thatisnotonlyunfairontheaudience;itisaheresyagainsthercreation.
Adigression:transformationandthestate
Whenrehearsalburstsintolife,wegetatremendousrushofexhilaration.Thisenergywillbring
excitementinitswake.Lifehasbrokenout,andIrinafeelshappy.Allseemssimpleandreliefrinses
throughtheroom.
However,Irinawillalsoknowwhatitistoskipinwhistlingthenextmorning,impatientforthesame
excitingmoment,andtobebitterlydisappointed.Thatsamepassageisdead;nothingremains,justan
emptyshell,andIrinacannot,forthelifeofher,rememberwhatshehaddonetoachievethatstate.Butit
wasneverastate.Itmayhaveseemedlikeastatebutinfactitwasadirection.Anditcamefromthe
target,andnotfromIrina.Irinawasgivensomelifebutafterwardssheimaginedthatshehadmadeit
herself.Perhapsshethoughtshehadearneditthroughherhardwork.Butlifeisn’tlikemoney.Wecan
earnmoney,butwecan’tearnlife.Itjusthappens,that’sall.
Lifeisbeyondourcontrol,andwedon’tmuchlikeit.Lifecandropusanytime;andwecertainlydon’t
likethat.Lifecannotbecreated;andthatisn’tverypopulareither.Somanyofourstructuresofthought,
wordandstoryaredesignedtodisguisethesemostuncomfortableofrealities.
Wecannevermakelife.Weletlifepassthroughusbynotblindingourselvestothetarget.Inanycase,
whenlifecomes,itcomeswhenitwants–itcomesbygrace.Vanitymayfoolusotherwise,butwenever
manufacturelife.Ourperformanceswillnotliveifweimaginethatwearecreatingsomething.Wecan
onlyseethelifethatisalreadywaitingtoflow.Wecannoteventrytopasslifeon,butwecanaimnotto
stoplifepassing.
Thereisnosuchthingasastateoflife.Thereisnosuchthingasastateofgrace.Wecanonlyhopetoget
backtoalivingmomentbyrememberinghowwegotthere.Andthenperhapslifewilloblige.Itnormally
does,butwedon’tcalltheshots.Wedidnotgettherebyaneffortofwill.Wegottherebyseeing.
Thethirduncomfortablechoice:
toseeortoshow
Wecaneithershoworsee,butwecanneverdoboth,fortheonemustdestroytheother.Wesometimes
imagineinperformancethatwehavetoshowthingsasasortofinsurancepolicytomakesurethatthe
audiencewill‘get’whatwearefeeling.Thisisanunmitigateddisaster.ForIrinatoshowtheaudience
whatshefeelsforRomeoisfatal.
Seeingisaboutthetarget,showingisaboutme.Showingonlyseemstobeaboutthetarget.Showingis
infactafalseopeningofoneself,becauseshowingisabouttryingtocontroltheperceptionofothers.If
IrinatriestoshowussomethinginJuliet,itwillbeasifshewroteanessayonthecharacter,or
underscoredherownperformanceonaviolin.
Actingandpretending
Assoonasweshow,wepretend.Andpretendingisnotacting.Sometimesthedifferenceisobvious;
sometimesthedifferenceismoresubtle.
Certainthingscannotbeacted;theycanonlybepretended.Statescanneverbeacted.Forexample,
stateslikedeathorsleep.Youcannotactbeingasleep.Youcanonlypretendtobeasleep.Youcanonly
showthatyouareasleep.Youcanactfallingasleep.Youcanactstrugglingtokeepawake.Youmaybe
abletoacthavingabaddreamhowever,becauseduringthedreamthebrainflickersintoakindof
consciousness.Youcanonlyactwhatisconscious,soyoucanactthislittlesurgeofconsciousness.But
therestwillhavetobeshown.Justassometimesyoumayhavetoplaydead.Thisisnotreallyacting.It
issomethingelse,butitmaybetheatricallycrucialfortheaudiencethatyoudoit.Andpretendingtobe
deadorasleepisveryhardtodowell!
Thereisofcoursemoreinactingthanwhatisconscious.However,thatpartwhichisunconsciousisin
theinvisiblework,asweshallshortlysee.
Visitors
ItispracticalforIrinatorememberthefollowing:nothingreallyworthwhilecanbeowned.Thereislife.
Thereislove.Thereisgrace.Butwecanneithercreatenorpossessastateofanyofthese.Thesevisitors
breathethroughus,withusandinusthemorewekeepourselvesopen.
IrinacannottransformherselfintoJuliet.ShecannotachievethestateofJuliet,somesortofstill
plateauofJuliet’scharacter.ShecanneverownJuliet.AndIrinawillbecomeblockedifshepunishes
herselfbecauseshehasnotmanagedto‘become’Julietinthisway.Ifshetriestometamorphose,shewill
dieartistically.IrinawillendupmerelyshowingJuliet.
Wecannotchangeourstatebyaneffortofwill.Whenweconcentrateonchangingourselvesweendup
merelydemonstrating.Changedoeshappentous,butwechangeonlywhenweseethingsmoreasthey
reallyare.Itistodowithachangeindirection.Whenweseethingsmoreforwhattheyare,webecome
realignedautomatically.Change,transformation,metamorphosisareoutofourcontrol.Therelentlessrule
isthatwheneverwetrytobesomething,wemerelyshow.
IrinacanonlydowhatJulietdoes,andshecannotdowhatJulietdoesuntilsheseeswhatJulietsees.
Aswehaveseen,Irina’sapparentjourneyintoJulietisnotwhatitseems.Itisnolessthanajourney
throughJuliettoseewhatisatstakeforJulietinwhatJulietsees.
Theaudiencelooksthroughtheperformanceintotheworldthattheactorsees,intothespecifictargetsthe
actorsees,andintotherelentlesslydoublingstakes.Merevirtuositygetstheaudiencetoseenofurther
thantheperformer’sclevernessandskill.Theactorhasagreaterpotentialthanthemerevirtuoso,forthe
actor’ssensesandimaginationopenalensuponanendlessuniverse.
Theoryandspeculation
Youcannotexplainwhyactingisalive,becauseyoucannotexplainlife.Infact,ifyoucanexplainit,it’s
dead.Butblockismostlydeadstructure,asdeadasanyoldideology,andthatiswhyitcanbemostly
explained.Thereisamaddeningparadoxhere.Whenactingisfree,itseemsuncomplicated;whenacting
isblockeditallseemsverycomplicated.
Forexample,blockcanresultfromapassingthoughtlike:‘DoesitlookawfulwhenIputmyhandon
thebalconylikethis?’Tryingtoanswerwith:‘Ithinkitlooksfine/dreadful’,Irinanotonlyopensthe
door,butfallsthrough,andthedooronlyleadstooneplace,home;andhomeisn’tsafe.
Lookedatinanotherway,answeringthequestionispurespeculation,becausenoneofuscanever
knowwhatwelooklike.Noneofuscaneverbesureoftheeffectwearehaving.Consequently,
wonderinghowweappearisalwaysmerespeculationandspeculationismeretheory.SowhenIrina
answersthequestionwith:‘IthinkIlookstupid’,sheistheorising.
SoIrinaisintellectualisingandspinningstructure,whichwilleventuallystiflethesparkoflifeshewas
tryingtoprotect.Irinamaywellnotfeelthatsheisbeingremotelyintellectual;whenwefeelwelook
idiotic,itdoesn’tseemlikeatheory.Butpanicalwayshasitsoriginsintheory.Toanswerorevenaskthe
question‘HowdoIlook?’mustparalysetheactor.Vitalactinghasnothingtodowithintellectualtheory.
Butblockedactingalwayshasitsoriginsintheory.
IrinaneedstostepthroughJuliet’ssenses,tosee,touch,hear,smell,tasteandintuitthechanging
universethatJulietinhabits.Irinamustabandonallhopeofeverbeingabletotransformherselfinto
Juliet,orshowusJuliet,andinsteadsetaboutthemiraculousbutrealisabletaskofseeingandmoving
throughthespacethatJulietseesandinhabits.
Nodescriptionofahumanbeingisthetruth.Imaginingdynamicallyopposedcontradictionswillfree
theactormore.Whicheverwaywestruggletoredefineandscrubtheconceptof‘character’,italways
givesoffaslightwhiffofpermanence.Whateverclaimstobebothaliveandfixedistellingadangerous
lie,soitiswisetoacceptthatthereisnosuchthingascharacter.Thelivingthingcannomorebefixed
thanabutterflypinnedtoaboardcanfly.
Icanseethings,orIcantrytocontrolhowthingsseeme.Icannotdobothatthesametime.WhoIamis
whatIsee.
9
THEVISIBLEANDTHEINVISIBLE
WhoIamdependsonthetargetsIsee.Weeachseedifferenttargets.Ourexperienceoflifealtersthe
targetsthatwesee.JulietseesoneRomeo,andTybaltanother.TheLegionnaireandthemillionairesee
differentglassesofwater.Howdoestheactorpreparetoseedifferenttargets?HowcanIrinamakesure
thatthemoonsheseesisJuliet’smoonandnotIrina’s?Thespecifictargetispreparedandrefinedinthe
invisiblework.
Thevisibleandinvisiblemind
Thevisiblemindisthatpartofthecharacterthatanactorcanplay;andtheinvisiblemindisthatpartthat
theactorcannotplay.Icandividemyselfintotwodifferentpeople.Iamthe‘me’Isee,andalsothe‘me’
thatIdonotsee.Bothofthese‘mes’areessential;onecannotexistwithouttheother.Howcantheactor
createthisinvisiblepart?Theansweristhattheactorcannotdirectlycreatetheinvisiblemindofthe
character.AllIrinacandoistoprepareherselfforperformance.
Therugbyteamcannotcreatethematch.Theplayerscannotpredicttheoutcome,ordictatehowthe
matchwillgo.Butthecoachandteamcanpreparethemselves.Thereisnosetperiodfortraining,butthe
matchisstrictlytimed.Therearenorulesforthetraining,butthereareseveralrulesforthematch.The
teamcannotmakesurethattheywillplayagoodgame,buttheteamcanputthemselvesinthewayof
playingagoodgame.
Strictlyspeaking,ofcourse,thereisnocast-ironrulethattheteammusttrain.Afteramonthstretched
onabeachwithfagsandbooze,theteammightjustsendtheballflyingelegantlydownthelineofbacks.
Ontheotherhand,theteammightspendmorning,noonandnightpractisingscrumsandtacklingandfree
kicksandlineouts,andstillplayanabysmalgame.Allwecansayisthattheteamthatistrainedwell
standsafarhigherchanceofplayingwell.
Inasimilarway,Irinacannotensureagoodperformance.Irinacannotguaranteethatshewillactwell.
Indeedwealldealwiththefactthatwehavenorighttodogoodwork.Irinacanprepareandrehearsefor
monthsandstillgiveaconstipatedperformance.Ontheotherhand,Irinacouldjustreadthewordscold
andshattertheaudiencewithherinsightandvitality.Butsuchaflukewouldbeimpossibletosustain.
Moresensibly,Irinawillrelyonhergeneraltrainingandspecificrehearsal,whicharefarmorelikelyto
helpheractwithtruthandvitality.Irinacannotdemandtoactwell,butwithcarefulpreparationshecan
makeitalotmorelikelythatherbriefstagetimewillbrimwithlife.
IrinaneedstoworkonJuliet.IrinawilldiscovermoreaboutJuliet’spaththanJulietherselfknows.
IrinawillcertainlybeabletoseeJuliet’sfuturefarmoreclearly.Butthisknowledgeisonlyforthe
invisiblework.Whenitcomestothevisiblework,fortheshortdurationofherperformancetimeas
Juliet,thenIrinamustknownomorethanJuliet.Irinamustneverbeconsciousofherinvisiblework
duringtheminutesthatsheactuallyplaysJuliet.
Theactormustforgettheinvisibleduringthevisiblework,andtrustthattheinvisiblewillremember
itself.
Forgettingtheobvious
Beforeweconsidertheinvisibleworkfurther,itwouldbesensibletoremembersomebasics.Thereare
fundamentaldifferencesbetweenthevisibleandinvisiblework,andbetweenIrinaandJuliet.
Theseareprinciplessoobviousthattheyareeasilyignored.Commonsensecanbethefirstcasualtyof
exhaustingrehearsal.HowevermuchIrinaexploresthebalconyscene,shemustnotforgetthat:
Juliethasneverplayedthebalconyscenebefore,
althoughIrinawillhaveseveraltimes.
JuliethasneverheardwhatRomeohastosay,
althoughIrinawillhavehearditseveraltimes.
JuliethasneverheardwhatJuliethastosay,
althoughIrinawillhavehearditseveraltimes.
JuliethasneverseenwhatJulietseesnow.
JuliethasneverfeltwhatJulietfeelsnow.
Julietdoesnotknowhowthescenewillend.
Theinvisiblework
Allactorsdotheinvisiblework,howeverperemptorytheirpreparationmayseem.Theinvisiblework
maytakemanyforms.Someactorsfollowmethodsandsystemswheretheywriteabiographyofthe
characterorwheretheyconnectthatcharacter’sfeelingsandexperiencestotheirownpersonallives.
Othersmayworkincompanieswherelargesectionsofrehearsalaredevotedtofindingcollectivelythe
worldofthepiece.Somewilljokethattheyneverdoanypreparation,buteventheywillmakesomesort
ofgeneralisationaboutthecharacterstheyareplaying.Forexample,youmayhearthemremark:‘He’s
veryclever’or‘Shegetswhatshewants’.Somefilmactorslabourtokeeptheirheadsentirelyempty
betweentakestopreservespontaneity.Buteventhatemptyingisaformoftheinvisiblework.
Thereareasmanymethodsasthereareactors.Mostactorswouldagreethatactingisnotascience.
Thereisnofail-proofsystem.Mostactorsfeelgratefulforanyimaginativesparkthatigniteslifeand
confidence.
Examplesofinvisiblework
Therulesfortheinvisibleworkbarelyexistapartfromtherulethattheremustbesomeinvisibleworkin
someform.
Theinvisibleworkincludesnotonlytherehearsal,butalsotheactor’strainingand,indeed,experience
oflife.Thereisnotonlyonewaytomaketheatre.Thereisnotonlyonewaytorehearseaplay.Thereis
notonlyonewaytopreparearole.Sosomeofthefollowingsuggestionsfortheinvisibleworktakethe
formofpracticalexercises;sometaketheformofthoughtsonthewayweconsiderindividuals.Theyare
notmeanttoaddtotheactor’sburden.Onthecontrary,theyareintendedtoeasetheload.Allexamples
arearbitraryandpersonal,andtherearemanymore.Althougheachofthesesuggestionsmayhelpenrich
andspecifythetarget,ultimatelytheactor’sinvisibleworkissynthesisedbytheactor.
Preparationtakesmanyforms;whateverignitestheimaginationisuseful.Whateverdeadensthe
imaginationistobeavoided.CertainruleswillstifleIrinaandcertainruleswillsetherfree;onlyIrina
canfeelthedifference.
Research
ItwillhelpIrinatofindoutasmuchasshecanaboutJuliet’sworld,hergivencircumstances.Thebig
provisoisthis:researchisusefulonlyuntiltheactorstartstofretthat‘somethinghastobegotright’.We
willneverknowthepressuresonayoungItalianaristocratinthefourteenthcentury.Thisisnotjusta
historicalproblem.EvenifwelivedroundthecornerinmedievalVeronawewouldstillneverknowfor
sure;wecanonlyeverimagine.
IrinacanresearchhowJulietwasbroughtup–howsheisexpectedtomove,laugh,eat,sing,fight,
dress,talk,pray,makelove,think.Reading,discussinginrehearsal,groupandindividualexercises,
experimentingwithdance,dress,breathingandsilence,mayreleaseIrinaandincreasehercuriosityand
vitality.
Otherpeople
IrinawillreadallthatissaidaboutJulietbyothercharacters.Thisisimportantworkbutitneedsone
proviso.WhatothercharacterssayaboutJulietsaysfarmoreaboutthemthanaboutJuliet.Wheneverwe
talkaboutotherpeople,wegiveourselvesaway.WecannotnecessarilyassumethatJulietisbeautifuljust
becauseParisandRomeosayso.Indeedwhatthesemensayabouthercountsfarlessthanwhatthey
actuallydoforher.Besides,alldescriptionisunreliable.
TheNursehasquitealottosayonthesubjectofJuliet.
NURSE
venorodd,ofalldaysintheyear,
ComeLammasEveatnightshallshebefourteen.
usanandshe–GodrestallChristiansouls–
Wereofanage.Well,SusaniswithGod;
hewastoogoodforme.ButasIsaid,
OnLammasEveatnightshallshebefourteen.
hatshallshe;marry,Irememberitwell.
Tissincetheearthquakenowelevenyears,
ndshewaswean’d–Inevershallforgetit–
Ofallthedaysoftheyearuponthatday.
orIhadthenlaidwormwoodtomydug,
ittinginthesununderthedovehousewall.
MylordandyouwerethenatMantua–
NayIdobearabrain.ButasIsaid,
Whenitdidtastethewormwoodonthenipple
Ofmydugandfeltitbitter,prettyfool,
oseeittetchyandfalloutwiththedug.
hake!quoththedovehouse.’Twasnoneed,Itrow,
obidmetrudge.
ndsincethattimeitiselevenyears,
orthenshecouldstandhigh-lone,nay,byth’rood,
hecouldhaverunandwaddledallabout;
oreventhedaybeforeshebrokeherbrow,
ndthenmyhusband–Godbewithhissoul,
wasamerryman–tookupthechild,
Yea,’quothhe,‘dostthoufalluponthyface?
houwiltfallbackwardwhenthouhastmorewit,
Wiltthounot,Jule?’And,bymyholidame,
heprettywretchleftcryingandsaid,‘Ay’.
oseenowhowajestshallcomeabout.
warrant,andIshouldliveathousandyears
nevershouldforgetit.‘Wiltthounot,Jule?’quothhe,
nd,prettyfool,itstinted,andsaid‘Ay’.
LADYCAPULET
noughofthis,Ipraythee,holdthypeace.
Isthisonlygood-naturedfussing?TheNurseexudeswarm,homelycomfort.Indeed,soconsummateisthe
Nurse’sperformanceoftheNursethatitishardtoheartheeventsshedescribes.
TheNursesaysthatshewasgivenJuliettosucklefollowingthedeathofherowndaughter,Susan.We
learnthatJulietwasleftbyherparentsonatleastoneoccasionwhiletheyundertookasubstantial
journey.WehearthatduringtheirabsencetheNursewasleftalonewithJulietandattemptedtoweanher
tinychargebysmearinghernipplewithevil-tastingoil.Thechild’ssurpriseandrevulsionatthe
contaminatedmilkmadetheNurselaugh.Welearnthatthebabyassertedherindependencebylearningto
walkveryearly.WehearthelittleJulietwassufficientlyunattendedtobelefttofallandcrackherhead.
AndwelearnthecryingbabywaslaughedatbytheNurseandherwise-crackinghusband,whomade
sexualjokesatthelittlegirl’sexpense.Thebaby’s‘Ay’evenimpliesthatshehaslearnttocontrolher
feelings,andtodealwithadultsbyagreeingwiththem.
DespiteherapparentcheerfulnesstheNurseisfullofdestructionwithhertalkofdeathsand
earthquakes.Herdeaddaughterwas‘toogood’forher,andyet,forsomeonewithsuchalowopinionof
herselfshetakesupalotofspace.ProbablynoneofthethreewomenisconsciousthattheNursemayhate
Julietandwanttodestroyher.YetdestroyJulietispreciselywhattheNursedoes;inVeronamenhaveno
monopolyinviolence.PerhapstheNurseremindsJulietofherdeaddaughtereveryday,andundermines
therichyoungsurvivorwithguilt.CertainlyJuliet’smothertakesnointerestinthisweirdandappalling
story.Indeedearlierinthescenesheseemsnervoustobeleftalonewithherowndaughter.LadyCapulet
andtheNursediscussJuliet’sageoverherheadasifshewerenotthere.Thedaughterbarelyspeaksto
hermother,whotalksbacktoJulietwithmoremannerismthanwarmthinrathercreepyrhymingcouplets.
WehearthatJulietwasbornatnighttoamotherwhowasherselfachild.ThatmakesLadyCapuletstill
inhertwentiesandeasilyyoungenoughtobeherdaughter’srival.
Ofcourse,thisisonlyoneversionofJuliet’schildhood.Therearemore,butofcoursenoneofthese
storiesareforIrinato‘play’.However,thesealternativenarrativesaskunsettlingquestionsthatmay
enrichIrina’sinvisiblework.
WorklikethiscanopenhugevistasforIrina.However,withanexcessofresearch,Irinamayfeelher
headsaturateandherimaginationcongeal.Thenshemuststop.Thiscanbeagoodsignasitmayshowher
instinctivesideinhealthyrebellion.
Theworldisnevergoodenough
Weliveinonerealworldthatweknowbutslenderly,andawholehostoffantasyuniversesweknow
ratherbetter.ButJulietwillalsohavearichfantasyworld.AndIrinawillempowerherselfnotonlyby
investigatingwhatactuallyhappenedtoJulietinreality,butalsobyimaginingJuliet’sownworldof
make-believe.RatherthantryinginvaintochangeherselfintoJuliet,letIrinainsteadimaginehowJuliet
wouldliketochangethings.WouldJuliethavepreferredacosymothersmellingoflavender,tothe
sophisticatethatstrivestomarryherofftotheCounty?PerhapsJulietwantstochangenotonlyher
environment,includinghermother,butalsoherself.
Iamnotgoodenough
Howeverhardahermitmaytrytoescapeallrelationships,evenanatheisthermitsealedinanisolation
tank,hestillhasoneoverwhelmingrelationship:withhimself.Thisprincipleiscrucialfortheactor.
Juliet’sfirstrelationshipiswithJuliet.Thisturbulentlove/hateaffairisinastateofflux,andtendstobe
lessaboutacceptingherselfthantryingtochangeherself.
OneofthebestwaysforIrinatolearnaboutJulietistoseehowJulietseesherself.Julietwillsee
thingsthatshewouldwishweredifferent.Isshetootall?Toobright?Toodependent?Howwouldshe
prefertobe?Wouldsheprefertobelesscontrolled?Morespontaneous?Lessimpetuous?Itisusefulfor
IrinatoimagineJulietlookinginamirror.ThetwobigquestionsforIrinaarefirst,‘WhowouldJuliet
prefertoseestaringbackather?’andsecond,‘WhoisJulietafraidtosee?’WhatJulietactuallylooks
likeinthemirrorisofcomparativelylessinterest.
Irinamaywellask:‘Yes,buthowcouldImakeallthatclear?’Thereplyisthatnothingshouldeverbe
‘madeclear’andparticularlynothingintheinvisiblework.SoIrinacomesupwithanidea,andthenis
told:‘Butdon’tplayit!’Exactly.Theinvisibleworkmanifestsitselfbygrace,whereitwill,andwhenit
will.Anyattempttocontrolitbyshowingitsworkings,anyattempttoexposeitinpublic,andthe
invisiblevanishes.Theinvisibleneverabandonsuspermanently,butreturnswhenwestoptryingto
controlit.
Exercisesofextremity
Thereareseveralexercisesthatcandevelopandstrengthentheinvisiblemind.Intheexercisesof
extremity,therehearsalroomabandonsallgoodsense,andanactorplaysthescenewithagivenextreme
purpose.SoJulietcanplayascenewithhermother,onceasifsheweretryingtoamuseher(extremely),
againasifsheweretryingtofrightenher(extremely),againasifsheweretryingto
humiliate/seduce/teach/heal,etc.Sometimestheeffectismerelystrange,butoccasionallyalineoralook
oramovecanringoutwithundeniablelife.
Inthatmoment,somethinglivingpassesintotheinvisiblework.Irinamustthenforgettheexercise,but
itisremarkablehowtracespersist.WhenIrinacomestoplaythescene,thisinvisibleworkwillhave
affectedwhatshesees.Therewillbemorehistoryanddepthinthemothersheeventuallysees.Therewill
beagreaterqualityofspecificnessintheimageofhermother.Thetargetdevelopsitselfwithoutour
consciouscontrol.
Opposites
AnotherexercisefortheinvisibleworkistoconsiderwhoJuliet’sexactoppositemightbe.Shecanuse
sourcesfromreallifeorfilmorliterature.Andthenhavingfoundtheperfectopposite,toaskagainif
thereisanythingincommon.IrinamaywellfeelthatLadyMacbethisJuliet’sextremeopposite.Andthen
shemightaskifthereareanysimilarities.Well,thesearebothwomenwhowanttheirloverstohurry
home,theybothpleadfornighttohidetheiractionslesttheyrepentbeforetheycommit,theybothseethe
strangeconnectionbetweensexanddeath,andtheybothhaveacomplexrelationshipwithTime:Lady
Macbethfeels‘thefutureintheinstant’.Bothwomenconspirewiththeirmentobreakataboo,andboth
commitsuicide.Itisconfusingtocomparethesetwowomen.Andconfusionisusefulifitshakesoffthe
dustofcliché.
ThemoreIrinaexperimentswiththeseandotherexercisestofeedherinvisiblework,themorethe
targetrefinesitself.ThisrichandspecifictargetisalwaysreadywhenIrinaneedsitsenergyinher
preciousmomentsofstagetime.
Thewaytheinvisiblemindinfluenceswhatthevisiblemindseesismysterious.Wehavetotrustthis
processandtolerateourignorance.Itwouldbeunwisetostopbreathingbecausewedon’tunderstandthe
minutiaeofrespiration.
Onlyattentionwilldevelopthetargetsthattheactorsees.Theactorcannotmaketheinvisiblework
visible.Theinvisibleworkmanifestsitselfwithoutourpermission.Howthisprocessworkswedonot
know.Sometimeswehavetorelaxandletourselvesnotknow.
Adigression:theterracottasage
AcollectorofancientChineseterracottawasfuriousthathehadboughtanotherexpensivefake.He
searchedtheworldforthegreatestexpertonterracottatoteachhimhowtoavoidanothercon.This
ancientsagelivedasimpleexistencebutchargedagreatdealofmoneytothecollectorforhisteachings.
Histeachingsweretolastsixweeksduringwhichtimethecollectorhadtodopreciselywhathewas
told.Thecollectortravelledtotheremotecellwheretheasceticlived.Hecamewithcamerasand
computers.Thesageaskedhimtoleavealltheseoutside.Hedidso,buttheywerestolenbyotherascetic
sages.Thecollectorwasfuriousbuthehadtodowhathewastoldifhewantedtobeabletotellfor
himselfthedifferencebetweenrealandfaketerracotta.
Onthefirstdayhewasblindfolded,thesagelefthiminayakshed,andplacedinhishandapieceof
terracotta.Thecollectorhopedforinstruction,butthesagesaidnothing.Hesattherefortwelvehours,
withonlysomehotyakmilkfortea.Thenextdaythesamethinghappened,theblindfold,theterracotta,
andsilence.Thiswentonandonforweeks.Exactlythesameritualwasrepeatedeveryday.The
collectorwasfurious,buthadtobitehistongue,ashewasdeterminedtolearnthesage’ssecret.
Aftersixweeks,onthelastday,thesagetotteredintotheshedandagaintiedontheblindfold.Once
againtheterracottawasplacedinthecollector’shand,whosuddenlyexploded,smashingitonanearby
yak.Hetoreoffhisblindfoldandroaredattheascetic:
‘Thisisthelaststraw!Youhaveluredmeheretoaremotemonastery,youhaveletyourfriendssteal
mycomputers,youhavepoisonedmewithfilthyyakmilk,youhavekeptmeblindfoldedinutter
darkness,andthefinalinsultisthattoday,insteadofgivingmearealterracottastatuetohold,you
givemeafake!’
10
IDENTITY,PERSONAANDTHEMASK
If‘character’ismonumentalandmisleadingwhatothertermsortoolscanIrinause?Irinacansharpen
somehumblerbutmorepracticaltools.SpecificallyIrinacanthinkintermsofthreedevices.Theseare
Identity,PersonaandtheMask.Thesethreearenomorerealthancharacter;theyareonlyinvented
expressions,buttheymayprovemoreuseful.
Theidentity
Wehaveseenthattryingtofindthingsin‘one’canparalysetheactor.Ratherthanfinda‘one’,itisbetter
tofindtwoopposingelementsthatareinconflict.
If‘whoamI?’isnotahelpfulquestion,‘whowouldIratherbe?’and‘whoamIafraidIam?’are
morepractical.Clearlythesequestionsruninoppositiontoeachother.‘Whatismycharacter?’isnota
helpfulquestionbecauseitseemstowantananswerin‘one’.SoIrinawouldbebetteroffconsidering
words,orideas,thatalthoughsimilartocharacter,aremoredynamic.Sheneedsquestionswhichgloryin
contradiction,ratherthanfearconflict.Itisbetterforhertothinkofallcharacteristicsascomingin
‘twos’.Forexample,themorewewanttoberich,themorewemustfearbeingpoor,andthemorewe
wanttobestrong,themorewemustfearbeingweak.
Letusimagine,asbefore,thatwhoItrulyamIwillneverperfectlyknow.‘WhoIam’isunknowable.
Butwhatisknowable,sothatitmightbeofusetoIrina?Theidentityisknowable.Theidentitylookslike
whoIam,itseemslikewhoIam,itsmellslikewhoIam,butitisn’twhoIam.Beingfullydescribable
theidentityisfullydead.Butitmayhelptheactortoconsideritsworkings.
Basicallyouridentityishowwewanttoseeourselves.Inordertoconvinceourselvesofwhoweare,
wehavetoconvinceotherpeopleaswell.Althoughofquestionablebenefitinreallife,theidentitycanbe
ausefultoolwhenacting.
Theidentityisaconstructionthathelpsmedefinewhothe‘I’iswhenItalk.Butinfactitisan
inventionoracoatingthatwestarttoaccreteatanearlystageinourlives.ItisthewholeraftofwaysI
haveofpresentingmyselfandseeingmyself.Itisourveryownprivateandpersonalinstitution.The
workingsoftheidentityarefarclearerinothersthaninmyself.
Ashortdigression:institutions
Allinstitutionshaveonethingincommon:theirnumberoneimperativeispreservationofself.Andtrueto
form,theidentityfightslikeacorneredtigerifeveritfeelsitmaybeexposedtoitshostasmerelyan
illusion.Indeedtopreserveitselftheidentitymayorderitshumanhosttocommitsuicide.Buttheidentity
doesn’tsurvive,forlikemanyaparasitetheidentityismorecleverthanwiseandneverlearnsthatitis
dependentonitshost.
Iam
IfItellyou‘whatIam’,itwillnottellyouverymuchaboutwhatIreallyam.Butitwilltellyoualot
aboutmyidentity.Ifyoureallywanttoknow‘whatIam’thenlookingatwhatIdogivessharperclues.
Beforethisbecomestooabstruse,let’stakesomepracticalexamples.Ifaskedtodefinethecharacterof
Othello,youmightwellsaythatheis:
Brave
Noble
Generous
Exotic
Loved
Patriotic
Proud
Big-hearted
Loving
Innocent
Loyal
Trusting
Manly
Assimilated
Straightforward
Othellohimselfmightfeelthislistisreasonableandaccurate.Buttherearenoverbsinthislist.Thisis
notalistofthingsthatOthellohasdoneorwilldo.Thelistiscomposedentirelyofadjectives,wordsthat
don’tshift–enemywords.
Othellohimselfspendsquiteafewwordsonself-description.Andmuchofwhathesayspromotesthis
imageofhimself.However,ifOthellobelievesthatheembodiesallofthesequalities,theremustalso
existanalternativepotentialOthello.AndthisOthellowillembodyquitetheoppositecharacteristics.
ThereforeOthelloishidingaverydifferentidentity,akindofun-Othellowhoiskeptfirmlyunderwraps.
Ifthatisso,thenthisun-Othellomustbe:
Cowardly
Ignoble
Mean-spirited
Commonplace
Despised
Subversive
Snivelling
Small-minded
Hating
Guilty
Treacherous
Suspicious
Childish
Outcast
Perverse
Iagomanagestosniffoutthishiddenun-Othello.Heinferstheexistenceofthismonsterbysimply
reversingthedescriptionofOthellothatistrumpetedthroughtheearlierpartoftheplay.Furthermore,
IagosensesthatOthellomayactuallyderivehisimmenseenergypreciselyfromsuppressingthisphantom.
Butwemustrememberthatofcoursethisun-Othellodoesnotexist,anymorethantheofficialOthello
exists.TheyarebothspectresofOthello’simagination.AllthatmatterstoIagoisthatsomewhereOthello
willfearthatthisun-Othellomightexist.Likemanyofus,Othellosquandersunknownenergyinmaking
surethathis‘bad’side,hisMrHyde,doesn’tslipout.IagoflickstheswitchtomakeOthelloflipinto
reverseandbehaveliketheun-Othello.
ThefirstlistofattributesconstitutespartofOthello’sidentity.ThesecondlistisalsopartofOthello’s
identity,orratherhisun-identity.Iago,withsomeoftheintuitionofthepsychotic,knowspreciselywhich
nervestotweaktomakeOthelloself-destruct.Inaway,IagoblackmailsOthellobythreateningtoexpose
toclean,publicOthellothedirty,secretun-Othello.Theplanbackfires.Whenweplaywiththeidentity
weplaywithfire.However,hadOthellopossessedamoreaccuratepictureofhisun-Othello,hadOthello
perhapssomesenseofproportion,ofhumour,abouthimself,hadhemoreinsightintowhohewantedtobe
andwhohefearedhewas,thenperhapshewouldhavebeenimpervioustoIago’smanipulations.Who
knows?Thatisaquestionfortheaudiencetoanswer.
Arkadina
AnotherexampleisArkadinainTheSeagull,who,whenaskedformoney,exclaims:‘I’manactress,not
abanker!’Thatgivesusacluetotheun-Arkadina,whoisindeedabanker,andnotanactress.Herson,
Constantin,frequentlyimplieswhatapooractresssheis,andatonepointremarksthatshehasanaccount
inOdessawith20,000roubles.Constantin’ssharpinsightsconfirmwhatwemighthaveguessedasthe
un-Arkadina.Againthisisnot‘whoArkadinareallyis’,itisonlytheArkadinathatArkadinafearsshe
mightbe,theArkadinawho,tippingherservants,producesasingleroubleandasksthemtoshareit.But
thereisyetanotherArkadina,unpretentiousandkindwhoforgetsthatsheeverhelpedsomedestitute
neighbours,whensheherselfwaspoor.
Torecap:myidentityisnotwhoIam.Butneitherismyun-identitywhoIam.Allwecansayisthatboth
ofthesetakentogetherofferastrongcluetoaperson’sfearsandhopes,bothconsciousandunconscious.
Ausefuldynamo
Wecangomuchfurtherandsuggestthatmostofahumanbeing’senergymightbespentinpromotingthe
identityandsuppressingtheun-identity.Forthehumanbeing,thewarbetweenthesetwoisbloodyand
exhausting;fortheactor,consideringthispermanentsuppressionofoneandpromotionoftheother
releasesvasthoardsofimaginativeenergy.
ItmayhelpIrina,inherinvisiblework,toconsidernotonlyJuliet,butalsoanun-Juliet.Weallhavean
identity,andforeachidentitythereisanequalandoppositeun-identity.Neitheristhetruth,butboth,as
longastheyareconsideredjointly,candynamisetheactor.
Julietandtheidentity
Intriguingly,Julietisobsessedwiththeidentity.Herfirstshatteringquestionissowellknownthatwecan
hardlyhearitanymore.Shesuddenlygraspsthatidentityisarbitrary.
JULIET
ORomeo,Romeo,whereforeartthouRomeo?
Denythyfatherandrefusethyname.
Orifthouwiltnot,bebutswornmylove
AndI’llnolongerbeaCapulet.
ROMEO
ShallIhearmore,orshallIspeakatthis?
JULIET
’Tisbutthynamethatismyenemy:
Thouartthyself,thoughnotaMontague.
What’sMontague?Itisnorhandnorfoot
Norarmnorfacenoranyotherpart
Belongingtoaman.Obesomeothername.
What’sinaname?Thatwhichwecallarose
Byanyothernamewouldsmellassweet;
SoRomeowould,werehenotRomeocall’d,
Retainthatdearperfectionwhichheowes
Withoutthattitle.Romeo,doffthyname,
Andforthyname,whichisnopartofthee,
Takeallmyself.
ROMEO
Itaketheeatthyword.
Callmebutlove,andI’llbenewbaptised:
HenceforthIneverwillbeRomeo.
JULIET
Whatmanartthou...
Thiswholepassageisobsessedwiththeidentity,asJulietandRomeostruggletobreakitschains.Juliet
offerstochangeheridentity,entreatsRomeotochangehis,andRomeoofferstobe‘newbaptised’.
DoesJulietseeaRomeowhoistheslaveofhisfather?Certainly‘Denythyfather’echoeswith
Christ’senduringlysubversivedecreethatunlessweleaveourparentswewillnevercomeintolife.So
dowehavetodestroytheidentitieswehavebeengiven?IfRomeoistooweakthenshewillrenounceher
familyandredeemthemboth.With‘What’sinaname?’sheshareswithRomeothegreatsecretofthe
universeshehasstumbledonthissacrednight.
Adigression:thestructureoftheidentity
Howweseeourselvesismadeupofperfectlypairedopposites.Itisonethingtodosomethingthatis
kind.ButitisquiteanothertosaythatthereforeIamkind.ForthemomentIdeclaremyselftobekind,
somewheretheremustalsoexisttheequalconvictionthatImaybecruel.Tosay:‘Iact’isonething.
However,tosay‘Iamanactor’isquitedifferent,asIcannotsay‘Iamanactor’withoutopeningthe
possibilitythat‘Iamnotanactor’.
Justasnightcannotexistwithoutday,honourcannotexistwithoutshame,andlifecannotexistwithout
death,sowecannotdescribeourselvesorotherswithoutimplyingtheexistence,whetheractualor
potential,oftheexactoppositequalities.
Ithelpstheactortoimaginethatthecynicandtheidealistarethesameperson,thesaintandthesinner,
thesuccessfulandthefailed,thecleverandthestupid,theangelandthedevil,etc.
Thissuppressionofoneidentityandthepromotionofanothermayexhaustusinreallife,but
consideringthisdynamiccanreleaseimmenseandusefulenergy.
Adigression:sentimentality
Itisanoldandusefultheatricalmaximthatyoumustneverplaythecharacter,onlythesituation.Soifyou
areplayingabully,youcannotactuallyplaythebully,onlythesituationinwhichhefindshimself.Nor
canyouonlyplaytheun-identity,thefactthatsomewherethispersonisacoward.
Sohowthencantheactorcapturetheessenceofthisperson,thisbully?Theansweristhatwecannot
‘capturetheessence’ofanyone.
Whenwetrytocapturetheessenceofsomeonewearebeingsentimental.Sentimentalityistherefusal
toacceptambivalence.Certaintyissentimental.Wearesentimentalnotonlywhenwesaysomeoneis
nice.Itisequallysentimentaltoassertthatsomeoneisnasty.Tosaythataraceisgoodorthatapeopleis
badisalsosentimental.Suchjudgementsmayhaveterribleconsequences;butthen,sentimentalityis
terrifying.
Wearebeingsentimentalwhenwejudgeacharactertobesweet,aswemayAnfisainTheThree
Sisters,butweareequallysentimentalifwejudgeacharactertobeevil,asperhapsRichardtheThird.
Whatthesecharactersactuallydo,ofcourse,maywellbegoodorevilorboth.
Pronouncingacharactertobeeithergoodorevilwillblocktheactor.Onlywhatwedocanbegoodor
evil.Acharactercanbeneitherinessence.Toholdthatahumanbeingcanbegoodorevilaspartoftheir
intrinsicnatureistheverydepthofsentimentality.Moralisingaboutwhatwedoisonething;moralising
aboutwhatpeopleareisquiteanother;suchjudgementalismisbeneaththedignityoftheactor.
Wecanneverdescribesomebodytruthfully,becausewecanneverfullyknow.Wemisleadourselves
byaskingwhatweare,whichwecanneverknow.Wecanneverknow,controlorcontaintheessenceof
anyone,includingourselves.Wecanalways,however,observewhatwearedoing.Eventhephysicist,
whentryingtoanalysethenatureofmatter,endsupdescribinglesswhattheparticleis,andmorehowthe
particlebehaves.
Thepersona
Ifthinkingabouttheidentityandtheun-identityfailstohelpIrina,thenshemighttrytothinkof‘whoIam’
intermsofthe‘persona’.IfmyidentityisbothhowIwishtoseemyselfandhowIwishtobeseen,then
thepersonaisthemeansIusetointeractwiththeoutsideworld.
Inliterature,thewordpersonareferstothepersonwhotellsthestory.Maybetheauthor,maybenot–
JaneEyrewasnotCharlotteBrontë.WithfilmstarswecansaythatHumphreyBogarthadonescreen
persona,whileJamesDeanhadanother.Jungusedtheword‘persona’todescribethepartoftheperson
thatisusedtointeractwiththeoutsideworld.Thispersonawasseparatefromthe‘self’,whichheusedto
describewhowereallyare.‘Whowereallyare’maybeamatterforpsychoanalysis,butitisaquagmire
fortheactor.
Intheatrethepersonaworksmysteriously.Asthephysicistcanonlydescribetheparticlebyhowit
behaves,soitiseasiertodescribethepersonabywhatitdoes.Thepersonacanmerelyintroduceusto
theoutlineofacharacter,buthowmuchwealreadyknowaboutthispersoncanastonishus.Itisalmostas
ifwehaveknowledgefromapreviouslife.Sometimeswecomplainthatwedon’thaveenough
informationabouttheworldofthecharacter;butoccasionallywearealarmedtodiscoverhowmuchwe
doknowofaworldaboutwhich,strictlyspeaking,weoughttoknownothing.
ApracticalexampleofpersonaoccursinCommediadell’Arte,wheredifferentarchetypalcharacters
areavailabletobeadopted,inhabitedandplayedbytheperformer.Theactorneednotnecessarilyhave
doneawealthofspecificresearchonthecharacterofPantalone.Theactorwhorecognisesthepersonaof
thefoolisholdmanwillbeabletoadoptthepersonaofthiswell-knowncharacter.Incidentally,theactor
adoptsapersona;theactordoesnotadaptapersona.Infact,themoretheperformerisabletosurrender
tothepersona,themorethepersonawilladoptandevenadapttheactor.Itisasifthepersonaitselfhas
donethebackgroundresearchandlendsitsfindingstotheactor.
Howisthispossible?Onlyafewcoordinatescanmakeanewworldbreathe.Picassocouldsuggesta
powerfulandcomplexuniversewithafewslashesofthepen.Ayoungmanonceaskedthepainterhow
longittookhimtoproducethosefewlines.Picassoanswered:‘Oh,aboutfortyyears.’Thosefortyyears
areliketheactor’sinvisiblework.Theyarenotexplicitinadrawingthattookfortysecondstocomplete;
butthosefortyyearsbreatheinvisibly.WecanbesurethatPicassodidnotconsciouslyusethoseforty
yearswhilescribblingthoselines;perhapsinsomestrangewaythosefortyyearsusedhim.
Thepersonaworkssimilarly.Withapparentlyscantyinformationtheactorcangiveaperformancerooted
inamake-believeworldofgreatcomplexity.
Themask
Thedifferencebetweenthepersonaandmaskiselusive.PhersuwastheEtruscanforamaskedman,the
wordwasdevelopedbytheRomansintopersona,whichmeansmask.Finally,inmodernEnglish,the
wordbecomesperson.Itisratherunsettlingthat‘mask’,‘actor’and‘person’couldbethesameword;
however,theatredemandsthatwedismantleallprejudicesandcertaintiesaboutwhoweare.
Themaskisremarkablywidespreadamongstdiversecultures.Themajordifferencebetweenthe
personaandthemaskisthatthesecondmusthaveaconcreteelement,normallyapartialcoveringofthe
face.Typesofperformanceorreligiousservicethatusethemaskmayseemverydifferentbut,inall
instances,roughlythefollowingispartoftheprocess:
heperformerseesthemask.
heperformerputsonthemask.
heperformerseestheworldonlythroughthemask’seyes.
heperformerisreleasedintoperformancebythemask’spermission.
hemaskenablestheperformertoseeanotherworld.
heaudienceseeswhattheperformersees.
hemaskenablesperformerandaudiencetoseesomethingtheywouldotherwisenothavebeenabletosee.
ThemaskofJuliet
WhatpracticaluseisthemaskforIrina?Nodirectorhasaskedherorthecompanytodonmasks.
However,basicmaskworkcanhelpactorseveninthemostrealistictexts.
IfJuliethasacostume,thatmightworkasamask.IfJulietwearsmake-up,thatmightalsoserveasa
mask.Essentially,anyconcreteobject,wornbytheperformercanbeamaskaslongastheperformeronly
wearsitwhenplaying.Inotherwords,Irinamayhaveaspecialpairofshoes,whichredistributesher
weight,andsohelpshertodiscoverhowJulietmoves.IfIrinacontinuestowearthesameshoesafter
rehearsal,thentheshoeswillbemerelyanaccessoryoraprop.ButifIrinaonlywearstheshoeswhen
sheistryingtoseeandmoveasJuliet,thentheshoeshavestartedtofunctionasamask.
Iftheshoesstarttobehaveasamask,eachtimeIrinaputsthemonshewillfeelthatshemoves
differently.Theshoesbecomeakindofswitchtoturnonherperformance.IfIrinafeelsuncomfortable
wearingtheshoesduringherlunchbreak,itisastrongsignthattheshoeshavestartedtoacquirethe
powerofamask.
Themaskhastobetreatedproperly,andnotbecausethemaskwillmind!Forthemaskwillloseits
fragilepowerforusifweuseitindiscriminately.Weabdicatepowertothemasksothatwecanfeedoff
it.Ifwedenythemaskitspowerbydisrespectthenwecannotfeedoffit.
Themaskandmovement
Themasknotonlyalterstheactor’sappearance–theactor’slimbsstarttoresponddifferentlytostimuli.
Themaskactorstudiesthemaskinhishandsaspartoftheinvisiblework.Greekvasesdepictthissame
preparation2,500yearsago.Theactorwillthenpractiseinthemaskandcontinuetodiscoverwhothe
maskisbyseeinghowothersreacttothisnewidentity.Soonerorlatertheactorwillmoveasthemask.
Themask’seyes
However,thereisonepartofthefacethatthemaskdoesnotobliterate.Itdoesnotobliteratetheeyes.
Indeedthemaskchangeswhattheeyessee.Thetargettransforms.
Maskworkisexcellentfortheblockedactorbecausethemaskcandestroytheactor’sselfconsciousness.Themasksilencestheactor’spersonalidentity.Themaskgivestheactorpermissiontodo
forbiddenthings–it’snottheactor’sfault,themaskdidit.
Recognition
Themask’spowerisonlyproportionatetotheactor’sabilitytorecogniseit.Iftheactordoesn’trecognise
themask,themaskwillremaininert.Tothisextentthemaskisparasitic.However,thisrecognitionneed
notbeconscious.Whatprobablyhappensisthatthemaskactsasatriggertoapartiallyhiddenorentirely
unknownpartoftheactor.Aslongasrecognitionhappens,puttingonthemaskappearstotransformthe
actor.Butthistransformationisinfactareleaseofsomethingthatwasalreadythere.Itisonlyanapparent
metamorphosis,asthemaskhasactivatedalatentpersonaintheactor.
Wecanrecognisethingswithoutrealising.Wemayloveorloathestrangersonsightbecausewe
unconsciouslyrecogniseinthemaburiedpieceofourselves.Asimilarprocessisatworkwhenweare
surprisedatwhatthemaskcanmakeusdo.Ahiddenpersonarecognisesitselfinthemask,perhapsina
splitsecond,andtheactorpermitsthemasktounlockthecupboardinwhichthatpersonaislocked.
Whenactingarole,actorschoosenottoactthemselvesforawhile.
WhenIseeme
Self-consciousnesscanbetheactor’sdeadliestenemy.Self-consciousnessdescribesthemomentwhen
thefig-leafofcharactershrivels.Asusual,attimesofFear,itisworthrememberingtwothings:firstyour
problemscannormallybeshiftedontothecharacter,andsecondthatyoucannormallydefeatFearby
copyinghisarmaments.
Self-consciousnessisanothershovelIrinamightusetodigherselfoutof‘Idon’tknowwhoIam’.
Letusgobacktothefirsttworules:one,theremustalwaysbeatargetandtwo,thattargetexists
outside.SowhathappenswhenItalktomyself?Well,thenmyselfmustbeatarget.Forexample,ifIyell
atmyselfwhentheshowerdoesn’twork,the‘me’Iamshoutingatisanotheridiot‘me’whoforgotto
phonetheplumber.Thereisadifferencebetweenthe‘I’whorebukesandthe‘me’whoisguilty.Between
the‘I’andthe‘me’thereopensanenablingdistance.
Weneedtospendsometimeconsideringthisdistanceanddynamic,andfeelcomfortablewiththis
idea.Imayseemeasmanydifferentthings.PerhapsIseemeassomeonewhoisweak,Imayseemeas
someonewhoisbrave,ImayseemeassomeonewhoisbrightorImayseemeassomeonewhoisstupid.
Inasensethe‘I’doesnotchange,butthe‘me’does.The‘I’whospeaksisalwaysthesame,butthe‘me’
whoIseeisalwaysdifferent.Iremainthesame,butIseemechanging.The‘me’isatargetandwillobey
alltherules.
InthelasttwentyyearsIhavestayedexactlythesame,it’sjustthatthesedaysmylegsfeelstifferifI
runforabus,mybeltistighter,hangoversareworse,afunnymiddle-agedguystaresbackatmefromthe
mirror,peopleseemdifferent,differentthingsirritateme,differentthingsamuseme,differentthingsmake
mesad,differentthingsmakemehappy;butIassureyou,Ihaven’tchangedatall!
Humansspendalotoftimeseeing‘me’.Sadlythe‘mes’weseearerarelyaccurate.Asmentioned
before,the‘me’thatJulietseesinthemirrorisafluctuationbetweenthe‘me’shewantstoseeandthe
‘me’shefearstosee.SoIrinawilldowelltoshiftherself-consciousnessontoJuliet.Juliet’sselfconsciousnessisanightmareforJuliet,butaboonforIrina.Julietdoesnotwanttoseeherselfblushing.
ThemaidenblushthatbepaintsJuliet’scheekembarrassesJulietandthereforeprovidesaspringof
releaseforIrina.
IrinacanseewhatJulietseeswhenJulietseesherself.Irinacannottransformherselfandbecome
Juliet,butIrinacanseethedifferentJulietsthatJulietsees.
Weshouldavoidspendingtimeonthe‘I’,butthemutationsofthe‘me’areextremelyusefulfortheactor.
Examplesof‘me’
Crisesforceustoseeourselvesanew,anddramatendstodealwithcrises,soactorsoftenplaypeople
wholearntoseethemselvesanew.WhenJulietmeetsRomeoshewittilyreferstoherhandsasthehands
ofasaint;later,onherbetrothaltoParis,shereferstohertear-stainedfaceasifitwerenotpartofher.
‘AndwhatIspake,Ispakeittomyface.’
andshecontinues,beforeshedrugsherself,toseewildlydifferentJuliets.JulietforeseesacrazedJuliet
careeringinthetomb,withimagesworthyofEdgarAllanPoe:
‘O,ifIwake,shallInotbedistraught,
Environedwithallthesehideousfears,
Andmadlyplaywithmyforefathers’joints,
AndpluckthemangledTybaltfromhisshroud,
And,inthisrage,withsomegreatkinsman’sbone
Aswithaclubdashoutmydesperatebrains?’
ThisisabizarreJulietforJuliettosee.UndoubtedlythisJulietsurprisesJuliet.ThefinalJuliet‘me’isa
sheathforRomeo’sdagger:
‘Thisisthysheath.Thererust,andletmedie.’
Tomakesuchagrimjoke,Julietmusthavechanged.Yes?Butfromwhosepointofview?Themodest
girlonthebalconywouldneverknowinglymixsex,violenceanddecay,picturingherselfasadead
receptacleforRomeo’srottingweapon.Forus,lookingatJulietfromtheoutside,ofcourseshehas
changed.ButforJuliet,the‘I’whospeaksisthesameperson.Thesamepersonatadifferentaddress,that
is,fornowshehasmovedandlivesinaworldfullofdarklaughterandhideousirony.
Iftheactorfeelsblockedinsearchingforcharacter,thenitmaybebecauseheorsheislookinginthe
wrongplace;theactormaybelookingforthe‘I’.Wehavetofacethefactthatthe‘I’willneverbefound.
Butthe‘me’canbe.
11
THEMATRIX
Itissometimessuggestedthattheactorwriteoutabiographyofthecharacter,e.g.,whereJulietwasborn,
herchildhood,etc.However,ifIrinafeelsalarmedbythistypeofpreparation,intimidatedbyatowerof
availablematerial,shehasalternativeapproaches.Irinacanrememberthatbiographyisbasedonapast
story,andapaststoryisaformofhistory.ButourWesternviewofhistoryisarbitrary.IntheWest,we
tendtoseeourselvesastheproductofthepastandthattheseedsofthefuturearealreadypresent.Thus
weseeastoryorbiographyasadefinedlengthoftimewiththefuturegraduallybecomingthepresentand
thepresentgraduallybecomingthepast.Wecanseehistoryasarailwaylinewithatraingradually
advancing.Einstein’sviewwaslessreassuring;hewoulddrylyask:‘Whattimedoesthisstationleave
thetrain?’
TheAsianTantricsalsotakeadifferentviewandbelievethathistoryisbeingpermanentlyinventedby
thepresent.Itisasifweareonashiplookingbackwardsatthewakethatisconstantlybeingexpelled
frombeneaththestern.
Well,sayIrinahasresearchedeverystageofJuliet’sdevelopmentandstillfeelsaqueasyguiltthatshe
hasnotdoneenough,orshefeelsintimidatedbythistypeofworkinthefirstplace,thenIrinacan
rememberhistoryorbiographyisnotonlylinear.Historyisalsodescribableasamatrix.
Thematrix
‘AhappenedthenBhappenedthenChappened’isonlyoneviewofhistory.‘AhappenedbecauseB
happenedbecauseChappened’isamoresophisticatedversion.Inboththesecases,eventshappenina
sequence.Timeexistsinastraightlineandthingshappenoneafteranotheronthatline.However,wecan
alsoseethat‘AhappensandBhappensandChappens.’Thisisasubstantiallydifferentview.Thisshape
isnotapatterninalinewithtimeasacatalystbetweenevents.Thisisaviewinwhichtimeandsequence
aredifferent.
Dowepasslogicallyfromchildhood,throughadolescence,throughmaturitytooldage,insequence?
Well,yes.Butsometimes,ifwearehonest,weknowwecanexperienceeachofthesephasesduringa
singleday.Wemayinventapathtonavigateaforest,butsoonforgetthatthepathwehavecutisarbitrary.
Thepathisforusandnotfortheforest.Theforestwillgoon,withorwithoutourpath.Thestoryofour
personallivesisasprovisionalasanypath.Howanyoneseesthepastisalwaystricky.Theupshotofthis
isthatIrinamaygetasmuchreleaseimaginingJulietattheageoffiftyasattheageoffive.
Amatrixviewofaroleacknowledgesthatwecanflyoffthehandlefornoapparentreason,fallinlove
fornoapparentreason,getonwithsomeonefornoapparentreason,orfeelfrightenedfornoapparent
reason.
InrehearsalIrinamayhearaquestionsuchas:‘WhydoyouthinkthatJulietfallsforRomeo?’And
somepossibleanswers:
Becauseheisgoodlooking.
Becauseshewantstopunishherfather.
Becauseshewantstogetoutofthehouse.
Eachofthesereplies,thatrangefromthesuperficial,totheclever,tothecynical,maybeofinterestinthe
invisiblework.But‘why’isawordthatinsistsallthingshavetheirknowablecause.‘Why’impliesthat
somethinghappensandbecauseofthat,somethingelsehappens.Eachofthesethreeanswersimplythat
thereisaknowablereasonwhyJulietfallsinlovewithRomeo.
Butreallifeisnotsowellorganisedaswewouldlike.Oneofourmistakesinrehearsalistoinsiston
arationaleandacoherencethatreallifesimplydoesnotpossess.Lifeismorerandomandchaoticthan
wedaretosee.Therearemanyreasonswhywefallinlove;therearemanyreasonswhywedomany
things.Someofthesereasonswewillneverknow.Maybe,forsomeeventsandfeelings,theresimplyare
noreasons.Howeverunsettlingforus,thispossibilitycanunblockanactorwhoisfrozenwithcharacter
research.
Imageandcharacter
ThematrixcanalsohelpIrinamineShakespeare’simagery.Shakespeareanimageryisnotlinear;patterns
ofimagesemerge,disappear,re-emergetransformed,echo,die,andarereborn.Irinacansearchforclues
astowhatJulietreallyseesintheserichinterconnectionsofideasandpictures.Shakespeare’simages
resonateandfeedoffeachothertonourishtheactor’simagination.
‘Hist!Romeo,hist!O,forafalconer’svoice
Tolurethistassel-gentlebackagain.
Bondageishoarse,andmaynotspeakaloud;,
ElsewouldItearthecavewhereEcholies,
Andmakeherairytonguemorehoarsethanmine,
WithrepetitionofmyRomeo’sname...
’Tisalmostmorning,Iwouldhavetheegone,
Andyetnofartherthanawanton’sbird,
Thatletsithopalittlefromhishand
Likeapoorprisonerinhistwistedgyves,
Andwithasilkenthreadplucksitbackagain,
Soloving-jealousofhisliberty...
Sweet,sowouldI:
YetIshouldkilltheewithmuchcherishing.
Goodnight,goodnight.Partingissuchsweetsorrow
ThatIshallsaygoodnighttillitbemorrow.’
First,JulietwishesshecouldsoundlikeafalconertolurebackRomeo.Inthenextsequencethebirdis
nolongerthetrainedandhoodedfalcon,butapetbirdthatasmallchildhastiedwithstringsothatthe
belovedpossessioncanneverhoptoofar.FinallyJulietmentionsthebirdonlybyimplication.Wesense
thatthebirdmayhavebeensuffocatedbythechild’sadoration.Itisremarkablethatafourteen-year-old
debutantefathomsthedarksideoflovedeeperthanthatgrizzledwar-heroOthello.
Irinacandosense-memoryexercisestohelpherminethosefeelings.
WhendidIeverfeelthatmypossessivenessandjealousycouldkill?’
HowpreciselydidIfeelatthatspecifictime?’
HaveIhadfeelingslikethesebefore?’
HowdidIfeelwhensomethinglikethishappenedbefore?’
HowcanIusethesepastfeelingsinthepresent?’
Althoughsomeactorsfindthispersonalisationeffective,thesetechniquesmayactuallyblockothers.If
Irinafindsthesesense-memorydevicesunhelpful,shemightrememberthatthepastissomethingbeing
generatedinthepresent.MorespecificallyitisextremelyusefulforIrinatoobservethattherisingstakes
playtrickswithtime.Ormoreprecisely,weseetimeverydifferentlywhenthestakessoar.Anexample
mightmakethisclearer.
Acaraccident
Forthewitnesstoacarcrash,somethingveryoddhappenstotime.Hehearsalongscreechofbrakesand
anever-endingscreamasabicyclehitsacarstraighton.Thecyclististhrownintotheairandseemsto
floatandcircleabovethecarbeforerollingthroughthecrackingwindscreen.Thebystanderfindshimself
slowlyturningtotelephonetheambulance.Thescreamingbluelightstakeagestocome,butfinallythe
paramedicspronouncethecyclistanddriverscratchedbutintactandthebystanderrealisesthatallthis
complexslow-motionchoreographytookonlyafewsecondstocomplete,sothecyclistmusthaveshot
intotheairandhemusthaveracedtothephone.
PerhapsIrinahashadasimilarfeelingwhentimeappearstoslowdownorstandstill.Perhapsshehas
metsomeoneatapartyandsuddenlyfoundherselftalkingtohimorherinastrangeway.Perhapsshehas
hadtheoddexperienceoftellingthetruthtoastranger;oneofthosestrangemomentswhen,forno
apparentcause,westarttospeakfromtheheart;oneofthosemomentswhensomethingoddhappensto
time,andwerealisewearefullofmore‘something’thanweeverknew.IfIrinacanpayattentiontothose
momentswhentheyoccurinherprivatelife,andhavefaithintheminherwork,shemaylearnthatJuliet
caninfactreinventallofJuliet’spersonalhistoryonthebalcony.PerhapsRomeoreleasesherfromthe
commondimensionoftime.Thetargetmayalsoreleaseherfromhercharacter.Forexample,whocould
actuallyutterthebizarrelines:
‘Bondageishoarseandmaynotspeakaloud,
ElsewouldItearthecavewhereEcholies...’
IrinacananalysetheminutiaeofJuliet’sbiographytodiscoverwhatJulietmeansbythisstrangeimage.
OrIrinacansimplysay:‘Actually,Julietdidn’tsaythesewords;itwassomeoneelse.’
Howisthispossible?WhoelsecouldbespeakingthroughJuliet’smouth?Butasthestakesrise,my
senseofwhoIamstartstochange.AsthestakescontinuetoriseIcancomeoutwithideas,visionsand
wordsthatIdidnotknowIheldwithin.SometimesIcanwonderwhoisspeaking,andrealiseitisme.
ThestakescanclimbsohighthatInolongerknowwhoIam.Ifthestakesflyhigher,mymanicured
identitywilldropawayliketheskinofachrysalis.Asthestakessoaritseemsinsidelessthatweare
incorporatingimageryfromthepastandmoreasifwearediscoveringsomethingthatfromnowonwill
alwaysexist–and,insomestrangeway,willalwayshaveexisted.
Forinstance,itispossibletofeelthatwehavealwaysknownsomeonewehavejustmet.Indeed,ifyou
cross-examinedJuliet,shemayhavenoideawhere‘theboundlessnessofthesea’camefrom.Perhaps
Juliethasneverseenthesea.PerhapsthefirsttimethatJulietseestheseaiswhensheuttersthatline.
ThenJulietplungesintoaseriesofbirdimagesyetmayknowlittleornithology.Yes,JulietandIrinado
needtoknowwhat‘tassel-gentle’literallymeans.Butcrisesdisinterallsortsofvocabularyand
informationburiedwithinus.Recognitionkick-startsresearch,aswehaveseenwiththepersona.
‘Bondageishoarseandmaynotspeakaloud,
ElsewouldItearthecavewhereEcholies...’
IsJulietconsciousoftheviolenceinthisimagery?IssheawarethatifsheequatesherselfwithEcho
thensheimpliesthatRomeomightbeNarcissus?Issheconsciousthatthetorncaveisagraphicpictureof
lostvirginity?Probablynotatthisstage,buteachoftheseconsiderationsmayhelpIrina’sinvisiblework.
Intimacy,liketrust,issaidtodependontime.Trust,loveandintimacy,weareassured,alwaysneed
timetodevelop.However,experiencedoesnotquitebearthisout.Whenthestakesgoup,Timedisobeys
theruleswehaveinventedforit.Forexampleasensationoffallinginlovecanbe:‘Iloveyou,Iwill
alwaysloveyou–andIalwayshavelovedyou.’
Historyhasnothingtodowiththepast.Historyishowweperceivepreviouseventsnow.Historyisonly
asequenceofreinventions.Historyisn’texactlybunk,it’sjusthighlysubjective.Juliet(andtherefore
Irina)isquitecapableoftotallyreinventingbothJuliet’spastandcharacterinthelivingmomentasshe
stepsontothebalcony.Thereisnothingasunpredictableasthepast.
12
‘IDON’TKNOWWHEREIAM’
Likeallthespiderlegs,‘Idon’tknowwhereIam’repeatsthesamewordtwice:‘I’.Structuringthings
around‘I’doesn’thelp.Againwecanthinklaterallyandrereadtheassertionnotforitscontentbutforits
form.Liketherestofthespiderlegsitrepeatsthesamewordtwice:anditdoesn’tmatterwhetheritisI,
Ich,Je,Ya,Io,Yoor .
Beforewethrowourselvesontherules,letusdissectthisword‘where’.‘Where’referstothespace.
Thebalconyisnotthespace.Thebalconyisinthespace.Thebalconydividesthespace.Thebalcony
consequentlymakesarule.Thespaceisnotneutral,andJulietcannotdowhatevershelikesinthespace.
DuringatelevisiondebatefortheUSpresidencythecandidateswereinvitedtocheckoutthesetfor
theircomingduel.Onearrived,glancedatthepositionofthelecternandchairsandsaidhewassatisfied.
Theotheralsolookedatthepositionofthelecternandthechairs,butthentookconsiderabletimeto
practisesittingdown,standingup,runninguptothelectern,walkingtothechair,pickinguphiswater
fromthetable,sipping,puttingtheglassdownagain.Theproducerssmiledpatronisinglyattheinsecure
candidate.Hewonbothdebateandelection.
Irinacandiscoverthespaceinanexerciseforearlyrehearsal.Likemanyexercisesitseems
deceptivelysimple.ItisimportantfirstforIrinatodiscoverallthatIrinacandointhespace.Run,jump,
kick,lean,leave,re-enter,thump,balance,dance,creep,roll,etc.etc.AndonceIrinahasdiscoveredthe
opportunitiesandlimitationsofherbodyinthespace,onlythencanIrinasetaboutthequitedifferenttask
ofdiscoveringwhatthespacewillpermitJuliettodo.IrinahasonespaceandJuliethasanother.Irina
mustnotbeavictimofthespace,butJulietmustbethespace’svictim.Irinaneedstodiscoverwhat
libertiesandconstraintsthespacepermitsandimposesuponJuliet.
Julietcomesintothespace:‘Romeo,Romeo,wherefore’,etc.Whatspacedoesshesee?Darkness?
Moonlight?Awell-knownbalcony?Anunfamiliarmoon?Abalconythathasgotsmallerasshe’sgrown
taller?Amoonthatchanges?AndaRomeosheseesonlyinherimagination.
WhatwillallthesetargetspermitJuliet’sbodytodo?
WillthespaceforceJuliettomove?
Willthemoonmakeherreachtoit?
Willthebalconymakeherleanonit?
Willthefloorletherpaceonit?
Ormakeherrunonit?
Willthedoorletherswingonit?
Willthenightforcehertodefyit?
Willthecoldmakehershiver?
Willherdressmakeherbodybig?
Willthestarsmakeherbodysmall?
Thespacewillfindyou
IfIrina’sfearblindsherlimbstothespace,thespacewillstillbethere.Itisatargetafterall,andsomust
upholdallthelaws.Becausethetargetisun-creatable,itisalsoindestructible.AllIrinahastodoissee
thespacethatJulietsees.Sometimesthisseemsimpossiblyhard.Butseeingisn’tcomplicated;itisonly
blockthatiscomplex.HowcanIrinahelpherbodysee?
FirstIrinamuststopIrinagettinginthewayofwhatshesees.ThenshemuststopJulietblockingwhat
Irinaseesaswell.IrinamustseethroughJulietintowhatJulietsees.Asalways,Irinacannotseewho
Julietis;IrinacanonlyseewhatJulietsees.
‘Idon’tknowwhereIam’seemslikeagutreaction,asimpleandemotionalexpressionoffear.But
lookingcloser,wecanseethatthecryisareactiontoatheory.Thistheoryimpliesthat‘I’couldknow
whereIam,withnoreferencetothespace.
EvenifIrinadoesn’tknowwheresheis,thespaceknowswhereJulietis.
Furthermore,thatusefulword‘me’hasbeenerasedfromthepaniccry.Constructionswith‘me’
providemorerelease.Forexample:
Thebalconystopsme.’
Thenightemboldensmeandmakesmereachforit.’
TheimageofMontagueinfuriatesmeandmakesmelashoutathim.’
Thebalcony,thenightandtheimageofMontagueeachimposerulesonJuliet.Irinamaybeabletodo
whatshelikesinthespace,butJulietmaynot.Thesetargetsrestrict,constrict,mould,limitandimpede
allthatJulietwantstodo.Andoutofthisconflictisborntheenergyoftheperformance.Takentogether
allthesetargetsconstituteJuliet’sspace,whethertheseelementsarethebalconyortheimageof
Montague.IrinamustletJuliet’sbodydependuponthebalcony,thenight,theimageofMontague,before
IrinacanbefreetomoveasJuliet.
Irinamaythinkshewantstobefree,butfearoftenmakesussubstituteindependenceforfreedom.If
IrinaletsJulietdowhatevershelikesinthespace,ifJulietisindependentofallthetargetsthatconstrict
her,thenIrinawillblockherself.
Theactormustrenounceallindependenceofthespace,andsearchinsteadforalltheconstraintsand
escapesofferedtoandimposeduponthecharacter’sbodybythespace.
Youcannotbelostinspace.Thereisnosuchthingasavoid.
Spaceandconflict
Juliet’sbodyisalwaysinconflictwiththespace.Shecanobeythespaceortrytodisobeyit.Thespace
imposesarule,whichJulietmayormaynottrytobreak.Thecharacter’sprisonistheactor’sfreedom.
‘Idon’tknowwhereIam!’maysoundlikethecryofavictim.Butthedouble‘I’constructionbetrays
thattheoppositeisalsotrue.Itmayalsobethecryofsomeonewhowantstocontroleverything.Itis
becausesomewhereIrinadoesnotwanttobethevictimofcircumstancesthatsheunknowinglydeclares
herindependenceofthem.
Theworlddoesn’talwaysdowhatwewant,andwedon’tmuchlikeit.Butthiscapacityoftheworld
toactindependentlyhelpsIrina.ThetargetmustbeindependentofIrinainordertoreleaseher;Irina’s
freedomresidesentirelyinacknowledgingthatthetargetishermaster,herservant,andherguide.
Acrustacean
‘Character’and‘space’haveasurprisingamountincommon.Infact,my‘character’isakindofspaceI
inhabit.ItmayhelpIrinatoimaginethatcharacterisexternal,liketheprotectiveshellofthecrustacean,
asopposedtotheinnerskeletonofavertebrate.SoIrinashouldsearchforwhatisalreadythereoutside,
ratherthantrytobuildthingsinside.LetIrinafindratherthaninvent.Letherimaginethatthedecisions
havealreadybeentaken;sheonlyhastodiscoverthem.Again,curiosityisacloserfriendthancreativity.
Howmightthisworkinpractice?Saythereisachaironthebalcony,thenIrinacandiscoverwhether
LadyCapuletsatinitornot.TheonlypersonIrinacanaskis...Irina.
Butratherthaninventananswer,itismoreusefulforIrinatopretendthatsheisrememberingwhatshe
alreadyknew.Isithermother’schair?Herfather’schair?Wasitalwayshere?Orhasitbeenmoved?
Whatmemoriesarethereforhertoremember,rediscover,resee?Foreachofthosemeaningswillrestrict
howthechairneedstobesaton.Letthechairdecide.LetIrinainvestigatewhatthechairdemands.What
preciselydoessheseewhensheseestheorchardwall?Ratherthaninventingastory,letIrinaseethe
wallsandaskwhysheknowstheyare‘highandhardtoclimb’.DidtheNursethrashherasatoddler
whenshetriedtolegittofreedom?Again,thereisnothingasunpredictableasthepast.
Ofcourse,Irinacanchangeallherdiscoveriesoncemade.Shemaydiscoverlaterinrehearsalthatit
wasnothermother’schairafterallbut,infact,thechairtheNursesuckledheron.Or,ifIrinaseesthe
chairherfatherusedtositin,thatspecificchairwillalsoaskhertositonitinaspecificway.Itwill
makeconcretedemandsonherbody.Thechairwilltellherhowtomoveinrespectofit–languorously,
nervously,expansively,tightly,squareintheseatorhalf-committedonitsarm.Julietmaysitonitwith
tendernessorreverenceorsuspicion.
ItwillhelpIrinatoseeherselflessasacreatorandmoreasanintrepidexplorerouttosolvethe
mysteriesofthechair.Theartistfinds,ratherthancreatesandcontrols.Tosaywediscoverratherthan
inventisnothumble;itisrealistic.
Adigression:obedienceanddisobedience
Thespacepresentsrules.SomeoftheserulesJulietmayobey–itmaybeunwiseforhertoflingherself
overthebalcony.ButotherrulesJulietmaytrytodisobey.Julietknowsthebalconypresentsan
insuperablebarrierbutshemaytrytotouchRomeoallthesame,byreachingandstretchingoverthe
parapet.Charactersoftentrytobreaktherulesofthespace.Macbethtriestoclutchanimaginarydagger.
Cleopatratriestocaressavenomousasp.Pyramustriestoseethroughawall.Whenthestakesgoupwe
oftentrytotranscendtheboundsofourspace.Thereisnoreasonwhythecharactershouldwanttoobey
therulesofthespace.Inreallifewetrytobreakunbreakablerules,andcontinualfailuredoesn’tstopus
trying.
Fortheactorthespaceisartificial.Eventhemostrealisticsetwithsturdydoorsandglasswindows
separatesIrinanotfromVeronabutthestage-manager’sdesk.Buttheactorhastoenablethecharacterto
believeutterlyinthespace.Julietneedstobecompletelyconvincedbytherealityofhersurroundings.
OtherwiseJulietcannotexist.ForJulietcannotexistoutsideacontext–acontextinwhichJulietfully
believes.AspacewhichJulietcanloveandhate,cherishandtrytodestroy.
Atallcoststheactormustneverletthecharacterinventthespace.Thespacemustbetherereadyforthe
charactertosee.
Disobeyingthespace
Itisanoldtheatricaladagethatyoucannotplaytheking:thecourthastoplaythatyouareking.Forthe
king,thecourtispartofthespace.Ifthekingdoesnotbelievethatthecourtseeshimaskingthenthe
actorwillhavetokeepmakinghimselfking,stickhisnoseintheairandwanderaroundveryslowly
draggingermine.Insteadtheactorneedstobelievethatwerehetositonthefloortoplaywiththefool,
thecourtwouldbeshocked.Iftheactordoesnotbelievethecourtseeshimaskingthenhewillneverbe
freeenoughtoplaytheking.
Thespacealwayssays‘no’
Thespacethroughwhichwemovealwaysresistsus;eventheairisinconflictwithourbodies.These
resistancescreatefrictionandfrictionproducesfire,withbothheatandlight.ItisimportantforIrinato
experienceasmanyoftheseresistancesaspossible.However,themoreweconcentrate,themorewelose
ourselvesinsideandbecomeinsensibletothesetinyresistances.Julietismouldedbyherspaceasthe
coastissculptedbythewindandsea.Thecliffdoesnotdecideitsformalone.
WeknowthatIrinacannotachievesomeinternalchangeofherstateintoJuliet.However,Irinacansee
theelements,spacesandresistancesthathaveformedJuliet,thathavenourishedanddeformedher,and
thatstilltrytorulehowshemoves.Fortheactorthespaceisneverempty,thespaceisalwayscharged
withmeaning.Fortheactor,thespaceisneverneutral;otherwisetheactorwouldbecomeneutraland
loseenergy.Butthen,ofcourse,neutralityisonlyanothertheory.
Lifeanddeath
Ourconflictwiththespaceendsonlywhenwearedead.Andwhenwediewemergewiththespace.
Distancefromthespace,differencefromthespaceandconflictwiththespaceareallcrucialdynamics
forlife.Physicistshavediscoveredthatnotwosurfacescanbesosmooththattheycanpasswithoutany
friction.SoletIrinadiscoverhowmuchresistancethespaceexertsonJuliet’sbody.Uncoveringthese
resistanceswillhelpIrinamoveasJuliet.Butif,instead,Irinamakesconsciouslycreativedecisions
abouthowJulietshouldmove,irrespectiveofthespace,thenshewillblockherself.
Thechangingspace
Likeeverythingelse,thespaceisinflux.SowhenRomeorevealshimselfbeneaththebalcony,thespace
changesforJuliet.Ofcoursethespacedoesn’tactuallychange,butthat’sjustanothertruththatisn’t
useful.ForJulietthereisaspacewhensheentersthatisalreadyfull,fullofthenight,thestars,the
balcony.AndwhenRomeoissuddenlyaddedtothatspace,sheseesnotthespaceplusRomeo,butanew
andentirelydifferentspace.Romeo’ssuddenpresencealtersnotonlytherulesofthespacebutalsothe
natureofeverythingthatJulietsawinthespacebefore.Thenightisnowadifferentnight;itconcealsand
exposes;thenightisatoncemoreconcealing,andyetmoredangerous.ThenightisdifferentforJuliet
becausethestakesinthenighthavesuddenlysoared.Notonlyhasthenightchangedbutalsothebalcony
hastransformedintoanotherstranger.Suddenlythebalconyismoreprotecting,morefrustrating,more
silly,moreimportant,andhowthebalconydemandstobetouchedorrejected,leanedon,stretchedover,
saton,orhiddenbehind,willallhavechangedutterly.Irinanevertransforms,Julietnevertransforms,the
‘I’nevertransforms;itiseverythingelsethatchanges,liketheinconstantmoon.
Earlyastronomersinsistedthattheuniverserevolvedaroundthestableearth;andtheprincipleisstill
usefultotheactor.Wedonottransform,thespacedoes.Wearenotincontrol,thesituationis.
Juliet’sdresschangesforher,Juliet’sfingerschangeforher,Juliet’sfacechangesforher.Thereisnow
moreatstakeforJulietinwhetherornotsheblushes,whetherornotshefeelsthewindblowcolderas
hercheeksgethotter,whetherornottheairismoredifficulttobreathe,whetherornotherlipsphrasethe
rightwords.Juliet’slimbsandgesturesareincreasinglyatthemercyofwhathersensesrelaytoher.
PerhapsshewantsRomeotoseeanangryyoungwoman,anintelligentgirl,oraJulietwhoisn’truffled.
Spacecomesbeforecharacter
Whydoesthebalconysceneremainourmostenduringimageofromanticlove?Theanswerhaslittleto
dowithcharacter,buteverythingtodowiththespace.Thereasonisnotthelovers;thereasonisthe
balcony.Thetwoloversinthesamespacewouldmoveusfarless.Theirpassionneedstheobstacleto
expressitself.Thebalconymakesanaction:itseparatesthetwo.Thelovers’reactionistotrytobridge
thatdivide.Thisstruggletoreachtheoneweloveisrecognisedthroughouttheworld,foritisthebarrier
thathelpsustofeelwhattheyfeel.Thereisnolovewithoutseparation.
Actinganddisobedience
Muchofanactor’sworkistodistinguishbetweenwhatistobedisobeyedandwhatistobeobeyed.For
example,AlexwillknowitisphysicallyimpossibleforRomeotojumpuponthebalcony.Thatisa
physicalfact.ButthatneednotstopRomeofromtrying.
ReflectingonJuliet’sdisobediencewillgiveIrinaafastroutethroughJuliet’seyes.FirstIrinaneedsto
ask:‘HowdoesJulietdisobey?’Doesshefloutrulesthataresocial,sexual,religious,political,domestic
and/orpersonal?Beforetoomanyhoursgetsquanderedinfascinatingrehearsaldiscussionitis
worthwhileconcretising,orearthing,thesegeneralities.Willshehurtherfather?Willshehurther
mother?Whatisthedifference?PresumablyJulietfindsoutalotmoreaboutherself,herfamilyandher
societywhensheisforcedtoaskthesequestionsduringthecourseoftheplay.Andso,ofcourse,will
Irina.IrinaneedstoreflectonthenatureofJuliet’srealdisobedience.
Adigression:theatreanddisobedience
Dramadealswithdisobeyers.ItisinterestingthatShakespearewasobsessedwiththedaughterwho
disobeysthefather.Eitherdisobeyingthelivingfatherorstrugglingtoobeythedeadfathermotorsmany
ofhisplays.Hamletmanagestodobothatthesametime.Butfilialobedience/disobedienceisamajor
themeforOedipus,forOrestesintheOresteia,forHaemoninAntigone,forRodrigoinTheCid.
ConstantiniscaughtbetweenobeyinganddisobeyingArkadinainTheSeagull.TheGospelsoftenpreach
filialdisobedience,withaninterestingexceptionattheCanaweddingwhenJesus,againsthisbetter
judgement,yieldstohismother’scateringanxietyandaltersreality.Mostofthefictionweread,filmswe
watch,andnewspaperswebuyareaboutpeoplewhodisobeyauthority.Butwhenfinallyweourselves
arecalledupontodisobey,itisseldomasimagined.Dramaisobsessedwiththisadultact,perhaps
preparinguslikethemotherhidingbehindthepillow.
Adigression:anaesthesiaandobedience
Civilisationhasadifficulttimedealingwithdisobedience.However,weneedtodisobey,anditisapart
ofhumanitythatnocivilisationhasfullybroken.
Civilisationmanufacturesanaestheticsthatareusefulandanaestheticsthatarehighlydangerous.
Anaesthesiadeadensthesensestillwenolongerrecognisestimuli.
Civilisationusesanaesthesiatomakeanactofabjectobedienceappearlikeitsexactopposite.The
anaestheticbefuddlesustillwethinkanactofsubmissionisrevolutionaryorsubversive.Disobedience
cancomemaskedasobedienceandviceversa.Forexample,thenarcoticstradeseemstodestroythe
socialorder,butthedrugdealerisatrueconservative;forenergythatmightbeusedtoaltersocietyis
channelledanddopedtillitsupportsthegivenorder.Theaddictcommitsamassiveactofobedienceeach
timetheneedlepenetrates.Thisanaesthesiamakesslaveryseemlikepower.Whetherwebelieveallthis
ornot,ithelpsustoquestionandexplorewhatconstitutestruedisobedience.
Adigression:panic
Asthestakesrise,weengageinaprivatewarbetweenconcentrationandattention,seeingandshowing,
meandthetarget.Whenthemuggerpullstheknifeitslicesmeintwo,longbeforeitevertouchesmy
flesh.Whentheknifefirstflashes,adrenalinsurgesthroughmyveinstoincreasestrengthandalertness.
Thisextraattentivenesscangivethesenseoftimeslowingdown.IknowImustrelyonmyselfbutIalso
knowmylifedependsonalltheinformationIcanscan.IjudgewhatIsee:theslideofhiseyes,the
hesitationoftheblade,theclenchofhiswrist,theprecisedistancebetweenme,thedoorandthepeople
walkingawaybehindhisback,thestrengthofmyarms,thespeedofmylegsandtheforceofmywill.
Atthesametimeanotherfeelingjostlesforattention,whichwelooselytermpanicbutinstantly
recogniseasourenemy.Weinstinctivelysenseatsuchadangerousmomentthatifwesurrendertothis
feelingwemightwelldie.Theadrenalingivesmeheightenedawarenessofthetarget,butthepanicis
aboutconcentration.InordertosurviveImustforgetaboutthepanic,Imustforgetwhat‘I’feel.Thereis
astrugglebetweenthesetwo,anditisabitterstruggle.IfIabandonmyselftotheattackofpanic,thenI
willlosethestrugglewiththerealthreat.
Theactordiscoverswherethecharacterisbyseeingthespaceasthecharacterseesit,asasetofrulesto
beobeyedorbroken.Onlythechangingtargetlocatesthecharacter.Theworldisdiscoveredratherthan
created,foundratherthanimposed.
13
‘IDON’TKNOWHOWISHOULDMOVE’
WhereIamandhowIshouldmoveareindivisible.Aswehaveseen,thespacewillforceyoutomovein
aspecificway.Forthistohappenyouneedtohavenotjustanattentivemind,butalsoanattentivebody.
Ofcourse,themindandbodyarenotseparateentities.
Thebodyneedstobekeptingoodcondition.Ithelpstobefit,andtokeepthebodyflexible.The
actor’sbodyismaintainedinconditionnottofeelorlookgood,buttoremainvigilantandsensitiveto
outsidestimulus.Thebodyneedstoconnectfluidlytothesensessothatthetargetregistersimmediately.
Forexample,whenRomeojumpsoutfromtheshadowsandcries‘Itaketheeatthyword’,Irinamay
havetheideatostartbackintotheshadows.ButifJulietjumps,itcannotbebecauseIrinahasmadethat
consciousdecisionintherehearsal;itmustbebecauseJulietreactsinthelivingmoment.UltimatelyIrina
willdigestallideassothatinperformanceherbodycanautomaticallyrespondtowhatJulietsees.Irina’s
bodyneedstobesovigilantthatitseemshercentralnervoussystemimmediatelyandautomatically
connectshermusclestothetarget.Ideallyshewillrespondwithoutactuallythinking.Herverymuscles
mustbeopentothetarget.
Movementandthetarget
Withoutdistancetherecanbenowheretogo.IfIamperfectlywhereIwanttobe,Icanhavenojourney.If
thereisnodistancethereisnopathandthereforenopotentialmovement.
Howwemove,likeeverythingelsewedo,isentirelydependentonthetarget.Wedonotmoveina
vacuum.Wemoveonlybecauseofsomethingelse;wemoveonlyinthecontextofsomethingelse.Amove
oragestureisasmuchareactiontoanactionasanypieceoftext.Wemovetoachievesomething.We
movetochangethetarget.Wemovefirstandforemostbecauseweseethetarget,and,moreprecisely,
becauseweseewhatthetargetisalreadydoing,aswesawwiththeforgetfulbusinessman.‘Ishiftinmy
chair’mayhelplessthan:‘theseaminmytrousersmakesmesouncomfortablethatitmakesmeshiftin
mychair!’
Actorsseewiththeirentirebodies.
Themessageexercise
Theseexercisesaretobeusedratherthanunderstood.Theycanreleaseaboundactorifthefewrulesare
closelyfollowedandtheobserverisalert.
Irinatakesthewords:‘No!There’syou,there’sme,andthere’sthespace.’Thisisthe‘message’.A
ruleoftheseexercisesisthat,oncedecided,thewordsofthemessagecaninnowaybealtered.Irina
mustrespecttheintegrityofthisfragmentasifitwerepoetryofthehighestorder.
InthesceneIrinaistryingtounlock,the‘you’becomesRomeo,the‘me’Juliet,and‘thespace’the
balcony,theorchard,thefamilywithin,Veronabeyond,everything,infact,inJuliet’sconcreteworld.
IrinarepeatsthesewordstoRomeo,bearinginmindthesituation,andplaysthemessageforallsheis
worth.IrinaseesaRomeowhodoesnotunderstandthespecificdistinctionbetweenthesethree,andshe
mustmakehimunderstand.Shewillbecomefrustratedthathertextissobanal,andthisfrustrationwill
pushJuliet’sbodyandimagination.Shewillusemoreandmoreinventiveandpersuasivemeansof
makingRomeograspthisvitaldifference.Bitbybit,IrinawillforgettoexpressJuliet,andinsteadtryto
influenceRomeowitheveryweaponatherdisposal,hervoice,hertoneandhergestures.
WhenIrinafirstplaystheexercise,theobservermaynoticethatshe‘sees’thesamethingforeachof
thethreedifferententities;shemayhaveunwittinglywelded‘you’,‘me’and‘thespace’intoaone,and
annihilatedthedistancebetweenthem.But‘you’,‘me’and‘thespace’mustbedifferentfromeachother.
Thisruleissoobviousthatitiseasilytakenforgranted.Itisasinvisibleasoxygenand,fortheactor,
preciselyasimportant.
Inreallifewerarelyhavetodistinguishbetweenthesethree;thedifferenceisalreadyclear,and
fundamental.However,inperformingwemayoverlookfundamentalsintryingtograspsomethingmore
sophisticated.Irinacannevertakeforgrantedthatshemustalwaysseparatethesethreeentitieswhenshe
acts.Smudgingtheseparticulardistinctionsisalltooeasyandmakeshugeproblems.
Theexercisecanexposecontrolsthatsabotagetheactor.Thisinvisiblecontrolblockstheactor’s
instincttointeractwiththeoutsideworld.ThiscontrolisoneofFear’schildren,andisparticularlylethal
fortheactor.
Passingthebuck
Irinacanuseherownfrustrationbyconvertingit.InsteadsheimaginesherfrustrationtobeJuliet’s
frustration.LetJulietbefrustratedthatRomeofailstoseetheobviousdifferencebetweenthesethree
entities.LetthestrugglebeallJuliet’s;letthe‘trying’allbeforJuliettotry.ShethenseesaRomeowho
needstohavethesedistinctionsexplained,underlined,andhammeredhome.
Forexample,behindthebanalmessageJulietmightbetryingtosay:
‘No,Romeo,youareaMontaguebutIamaCapulet;wecanneverbridgethatgap,thisbalconydoes
notseparateusascruellyasournames.’
Or,themessage:
‘No!There’syou,there’sme,andthere’sthespace.’
mightalsomean:
‘No,Romeo!Youareaman,Iamawomanandpeoplegossip;thereismoreatstakeformeinthis
relationship!’etc.
Whenthestakesgoupweallstartto‘try’:wetrytokeeputterlystillasthebearlumberspastthetent.
ButonlyJulietshouldbe‘trying’,andnotIrina.IrinawillseethroughJuliet’seyesaRomeowhoneedsto
betoldthattheworld,initsthreeentities,isinrealitydifferentfromhowheseesit.Hisperspectiveis
simplywrong.ToJuliet,herperspectiveisright...andcrucial.AndsoshemustchangewhatRomeo
sees;JulietmusttrytochangewhatRomeobelieves.
Alltextchangesbelief
Alltextattemptstoalteraperspective.Arethereexceptionstothisrule?No.Saysomeonesaystoyou:‘I
lookdreadful,don’tI?’andyoureply:‘Yes,you’reright.Actuallyyoudolookdreadful’,youare
bolsteringtheirfeelingoffatigue;foreventoconfirmisalsotochange.
Indeed,‘Iwanttochangewhatyoubelieve’isthefoundationofalltext,asweshallseelater.
IrinaneedstoseeaRomeowhocontinuestomisunderstandthepreciseandspecificdifference
betweenthesethreeentities,anditsoverwhelmingimportance.Andinordertomakehimunderstandshe
willdoeverythingshecan.Shemaypoint,gesture,flail,run,standfixedtothespot,yell,whisper,crouch;
stillhedoesn’tunderstandandshetriesagaintofindtherightgestureorintonationthatwillmakeRomeo
graspwhathemust.Julietcan‘show’asmuchasshelikestogetwhatshewants.ButIrinacannotshow
anything.Thisexercisecanhelptomakethisseparation.
Theobserver
WhenIrinahaslostherselfinwhatJulietistryingtodo,whenshestartstoseethesethreethingsas
essentiallydifferentandisindicating,signalling,demonstratingthisdifferencetoRomeo,thenan
observershouldshout:‘Text!’,whereupon,immediatelyandwithoutpreparing,Irinalaunchesinto
Shakespeare’sscript.Itisimportantthatherbodycontinuestomoveandhereyescontinuetoseeaswhen
thestupidmessageboundandfrustratedher.Irina’sbodyandimaginationrememberthewaysshereacted
inthemessage.ThemaddeninginadequacyofthemessagehasforcedIrinatoscourherimaginationto
convinceherpartner.
Thefirstfewtimestheexerciseisplayed,Irina’sbodymayreturntobeingover-controlledafterthe
observercalls‘Text’.Althoughshemayhavediscoveredwonderfulthingsintheexercise,shemaydrop
themallagaininthepanicofreturningtothetext.Repeatingtheexercisebringsbothfrustrationand
relaxation.However,bitbybit,Irinawillfeelfreerwhensheisforcedtouseherwholebody,and
everythingoutsideherbody,tomakethesedistinctionsvitalforheruncomprehendingpartner.Itis
importantthatIrinaneverknowswhen‘Text’willbecalled,sothatshecannotplanthetransitionfrom
messagetotext.
Thespace
Aswehaveseen,Julietcannotdoanythingshelikes.Sheisalwaysconstrainedbythespecificgiven
circumstances.Forexample,Julietprobablycannotshoutforfearofrousingthehouse.Butthisinjunction
canbebuiltintothemessagesequence.Howisthisbuiltin?The‘space’isthekeywordhere.Perhaps
herparents’bedroomistwowindowsalong.Perhapsontheword‘space’Irinaindicatesthiswindowto
Romeo.Perhapsshemustmakehimunderstandtheimmensesignificanceofthewindowandthesnoresof
doompercolatingbehind.WhenIrinatriestomakeRomeoseethewindowanditsmeaningshewillfind
herselfunabletoshout.Irinadoesn’tstopJulietshouting;thewindowstopsherfromshouting.Thespace
startstoimposeitselfactively.
Similarly‘thespace’canrefertotheorchardwalls,orthebalcony.Theuseofthewords‘thespace’
helpsIrinaseeandexploreconcretetargetsandtheirsignificance.AndshemustmakeRomeoseethese
concretetargetsassheseesthem.AsfarasJulietisconcerned,Romeomustseetheworldassheseesit.
Inparticularheneedstoseetheprecisedifferencesbetweenthingsinthesamewayassheseesthem.For
example,hedoesnotquiteseetheprecisedifferencebetweenhimselfandJuliet.Sure,hemayseecertain
differencesbetweenthem,butnotthepreciseandspecificdifferencethatJulietmustgethimtoseenow.
Julietmuststruggletogethimtoseethingsassheseesthem,toseedifferencesassheseesthem,to
prioritiseassheprioritises.
Awayoflookingatthemessageexercisesisthatthemessageisinvisibleworkandthetextisvisible
work.Thecallof‘Text’isthethresholdbetweenthetwo.Theobserver’scallmakesthisthreshold
suddenandunpredictable.Themoresuddenandunpredictablethethreshold,themorelikelyitisthatthe
messagewillinfluencethetext,themorelikelythattheinvisiblewillaffectthevisible.Asweshallsee
later,thetextisbestseenasaninadequatetool;whenthestakesgoup,eventhemostsublimepoetryfails
toexpresswhatwefeelandneed.
Examplesofthemessageexercise
Otherusefulmessagescanbeinventedsuchas:
No!It’snotyourscene,it’smysceneandthisismyspace!’
No!It’snotmyscene,it’syoursceneandthisisyourworld!’
No!It’snotyouwhoisincontrol,itismewhoisincontrolandthisismyroom!’
No!It’snotmewhoisincontrol,itisyouwhoisincontrol,andthisisyourroom!’
No!Youarethevictim,notme,andIcantouchthesewalls!’
No!Youarenotfree,IamfreeandIcanmoveonthisfloor!’
Torecap:messageexercisesarenormallyplayedbyactorsinpairs.Eachactortakestheidentical
message,andinterruptsthepartnerwiththe‘No!’–foritseemsthepartnerdoesnotunderstand.Andthe
partnermustbemadetounderstand.Therealsoneedstobeathirdperson,anobserver,tooverseethe
exercise.Thisobserverwillshout‘Text’sothattheactorsneverdecideforthemselveswhentorevertto
theoriginalscene.Iftheactorsareabletochoosewhentotransferfromthemessagetothetext,thenagap
ofcontrolwillreturnthemneatlyhome.Thisthresholdbetweenmessageandtextneedstobeoutofthe
actors’control,sothattheactorscanemptytheirheadsandlettheirbodiesandeyesfillwithwhatthey
see,securethatthereisanexternalobserver.Theactorsmustbefreetoseetheirpartners,tochangetheir
partner’spointofview.Theoutsider,theobserver,shouts‘Text’assoonastheactors’headsandbodies
aresufficientlyemptyofconcentration,openinattention,andlostintheirreactionstoeachother.
Aswehaveseen,thespaceisvitalinthemessageexercise.Theactortouchesorindicatessomething
inthespaceeachtimethecorrespondingwordisused.Theneedtotouchwakensthetranquillisedbody.
Ofcourse,somegestureswillbeuselessintheactualscenewiththetext.Perhapsmostoftheenergy
releasedintheexercisewillbediscarded.Butoftensomethingaliveremains.
Inanyevent,itiscrucialforIrinatoexperimentwithmovement,forIrinaneedstoknowhowtomove
inordertoknowhowtobestill.
Adigression:sit-com
Aswehaveseen,spaceandcharacterareoddlyinterlinked.Youcannotworkoncharacterindependently
ofthespace.Andrelationshipshavetheirspacestoo.Indeedrelationshipstransposedfromonespaceto
anothercanchangesurprisingly.Changingrehearsalroomaffectsrehearsalsintensely.Anothercurious
exampleoccursintelevision‘situation-comedy’.
Themostsuccessfulofthesetakeplaceinonlyoneortwospaces,sayapub,aroominaflat,ora
familykitchen.Nowitisobviousthattheaudiencelearnstolovethecharacters,lessobviousthatwe
lovethedynamicbetweenthecharacters,butcanitreallybethatwelearntolovethespace?Those
facelesssofasandstudiodoors?Butindeedwedo.Foroccasionallytheproducersdecidetojazzupan
episodeby,say,sendingallthecharactersonholidaysoawholeepisodetakesplaceinunfamiliar
surroundings.Andthewritingisasgood.Thestoryisasgood.Theactingisasgood.Exceptwejust
don’tlaughasmuch.Thesamerelationshipissomehowlessfunnyinadifferentenvironment.Buthow
canonesofabefunnierthananother?Ofcourseitisn’tfunnier.Butthefamiliarity,theintimacy,iscrucial.
Allgoodsit-comshaveacontrollednumberofspaces.Theaudiencetakestheseprosaicenvironments
forgranted,untiltheyareremoved.Aninvisibleintimacyisbuiltupwiththespecifickitchencounter,the
specificpositionofthefrontdoor,thespecificringofthedoorbell.
Adigression:lifemoves
Forthelivingbeing,behindapparentimmobilitythereisalwaysmovement.However,thisprincipledoes
notworktheotherwayround.Stillnessdoesnotlurkbehindlife.Behindapparentmovementtherewillbe
yetanothermovement,perhapssomethingquitedifferentfromwhatwesee,fornothingaliveisever
totallystill.EvenifIrinadecidesthatJulietisphysicallyrepressed,underherapparentstillnessthe
desiretomovewillalwaysboil.TheJapanesehostessservingtheserenestteacanbeobservedtomove
slightlyasshespeaks,evenifitisthetiniestvibrationofherfingersonthetable.
Yetstillnessandsilencearetremendouslypowerful.Likesymmetrytheyareidealsforwhichweyearn
butneverfindintheirpurity.Irinamaydiscoverinklingsofstillnessandsilenceinherrehearsaland
rediscovertheminperformance.Butitisriskytostartimmobile;itisdangeroustobeginfrominertia.
Stillnessisdiscoveredinmovement.Andmovementdoesnotoriginatewithin.Wemovebecauseofwhat
wesee.
Adigression:mannerism
Ashasbeenmentioned,althoughtheexpressivenessofthebodyiscrucial,‘expressive’isaloadedword
fortheactor.Wecannotactively‘express’anythingingeneral.Sowhenweseeanactorwhoseemstobe
expressingsomethingfluidly,whatweareactuallyseeingisanactorwhohasthegrace,ortalent,or
training,nottoblock.
However,whentheactoractivelytriestohaveanexpressivebodyindependentofthespace,then
alarmingthingscanhappen.Unhelpfultechniquessprayonasuperficialbodycharge,andthebody’s
truthfulflowgetsmaskedbeneathaseemingflow.Weexcelatthesedouble-bluffs.Tocoverherageing
skin,ElizabethIissaidtohavehadherfaceandbosomcakedinthickwhitepaint.AfterwardstheQueen
hadthinblueveinsdrawntomimictherealonesmillimetresbelow.
Mannerismoftenseemstobehighlyspecific.Wemaylampoonourcolleagues’slurredsibilants,
drawledvowelsorextravagantlyrelaxedgestures.Otherpeople’smannerismsaresomuchfunnierthan
ourown.Whetherendearingorirritating,thesebaroqueperformancesshareonethingincommon.The
rootofmannerismisalwaysthesame:themanneredactoriscutofffromthetarget.Mannerismafflicts
naturallytalentedpeoplewhenFearcutsthemofffromtheunpredictabletarget.
Thestudiedperformancethat,withthebestpossibleintentions,appearsartificial,resultsfromthe
boringoldfearthattheoutsideworldwillnotbetherewhenweneedit.Andsotheactordeclareshis
independenceofwhathemayormaynotseeintheheatofthemoment,andsealshimselfoff.Hewantsto
leavenothingtochance–hewillprepareeverything,sothathewon’tbecaughtoutofcontrol.Hewill
defendhimselffromtheunpredictable.Quickly,however,hisfortressbecomeshisprison.
14
CONTROL
Noonehasaperfectlyresponsivebody,butthisisnotsomuchbecauseweareunfitandinflexible.The
bodyisfetteredbyunconsciouscontrol.Controlisasensitiveissue.Somecontroliscrucial;some
controlisdestructive.Italldepends.
Basicallytherearetwoaspectsofcontrol:thecontrolthatwesee,andthecontrolthatwedon’tsee.It
isthissecondinvisiblecontrolthathobblestheactor.Wewalklikewardrobesnotbecauseweare
geneticallywooden,butbecauseweareafraid.Fearnormallyproducestwophysicalsymptoms:
1.Wecan’tmove,and
2.Wecan’tbreathe.
Likefire,Controlisagoodservantandabadmaster.Controlcanbeacursetotheactor,yetitlooksso
helpfulandfriendly.Controlwhispers:‘IfyouusemeIcanhelpyouescapefromtheclutchesofFear.’
Butthisismerelyabrilliantset-up,a‘sting’.WhenwetrytoescapefromFearbyusingControl,weend
upmoreandmoreensnaredwithFear:‘Theypretendedtheywereenemiesbuttheywereinittogether
allalong!’
Fearthreatens,Controlconspires.Andwegetdeeperanddeeperembroiled.FearrunsitsownKGB
whereyounolongerknowwhoyourrealfriendsare.Controlisadoubleagent:‘Iamyourtool.Youcan
usemetodowhateveryoulike,eventoconquerFearandanyotherunpleasantfeelings.’Butthisis
Control’sbiggestlie.ItisControlthatexclaims:‘Idon’tknowwhatIshouldfeel!’
Controlhatestobecontrolled.
TheBoeing747
Fearprefersustobeinastateofunthinkingcontrol.Feardoesnotlikeustothinksensibly.Whenthe747
bucksupanddownintheturbulenceperhapscatastrophewillbeforestalledifonlyImanagetokeepvery
stillandnotbreathe.OrIcanchatfranticallytothepuzzledstrangerinthenextseat.Eithermethodtriesto
controlandcensorthereceptionofoutsidestimulus:‘IfIstudymyin-flightmagazine,perhapsIwon’t
noticethewingdroppingoff.’
Theseareconsciousdecisions.Butmorefrighteningarethoseinvisiblecontrolsthattirelesslyeditnot
onlyourphysicalreactions,butalsotheverystimulithatweareallowedtoreceive.Sometimesthey
behavelikeagaolerwholocksupourbodies.Sometimestheybehavelikeawartimecensorwhocutsout
bitsfromletters.Wemaybeunabletoremovethesecontrols,butwecanseehowtheywork.Soinstead
ofasking‘Whycan’tImove?’letIrinaaskinstead:‘Whatisblockingmybody?’or,morehelpfully:
‘WhyamIblockingmybody?’
Lifeisinpermanentflow;somethingelseslamsonthebrakes.This‘somethingelse’needstobeexposed.
Theprincipleissimple:westopourselvesmovingbecauseFearmaintainsusinastateofcontrol.
Theblockedbody
Thefirststepinliberatingthebodyistoacknowledgethedegreetowhichwekeepitcaged.Accepting
theseriousnessofaproblemisthefirststepinchangingit.Fearmaintainshisstatusquobyencouraging
ustodenythattheproblemexists.Refusingtoacceptourlimitationsmayseemdefiant.Infactitisanact
ofslavery.Fearisbrilliant.
Irinacanusethefollowingexercise.Shestandsbyatableandpicksupaglassofwater.Sherepeats
thissimpleactoverandoveragainwhilepayingattentiontowhatherbodyactuallydoes.Theglassisin
easyreach.Perhapssheonlyhastomoveherarm.Preciselywhichmusclesdoessheuse?Herfinger
muscles?Whichexactly?Herneckmuscles?Whichexactly?Irinabecomesawareofthosepartsofher
bodythatsheisusingtopickuptheglass.
Sofarsogood.ButnowIrinapaysattentiontothemusclesthatsheisnotusing.Therewillbemany.
Herfootmuscles,forexample.Nowshemightaskwhyshouldsheuseherfootmuscles?Thetableisnot
solowthatshehastobend.Butabetterquestionis:‘WouldthemovementbeevenslightlyeasierifI
slightlyusedmyfeet?’LetIrinaseeifthosefootmusclesmighthelp.Irina’sreachmightbeafraction
easierifsheslightlyinclinesherankles.
Usingyourtoestohelppickupaglassofwaterseemsstrange,butwheneveramusclefeelsanother
onemoving,itwantstojoinin.Likeachildlockedindoorsonasunnyafternoonwhoseesthechildren
nextdoorkickingafootball.
Themoremusclesthatareusedtoperformasingleactthelessstrainthereisonanyindividualmuscle,
butthisisonlyautilitarianexplanation.Thesimpletruthisthatmusclesjustwanttomove;thatisintheir
essence.Justasitisinouressencetowanttolive.
Wecontrolourmusclesfarmorethanweknow.Thisinvisiblebrakeneedsseriousexaminationand
dismantlingasitisoneofthegreatestblocksonvitalperformance.Weprefertothinkwestopour
musclesworkingbecausewearelazy.Thetruthislesscavalier;westopourmusclesworkingbecause
somewhereweareafraidofwhattheymightdo.
SoifIrinagoesbacktotheglassofwater,lethernotask‘WhyshouldImoveallmymuscles,whenmy
armalonecanpickuptheglass?’Letheraskratherwhysheisdenyingherothermusclesthepleasureof
participating.Whydoesshelockthemoutoftheparty?
Irinacandevisemanymovementexercisesforherselfandperhapsmanymorewillbeorganisedforthe
group.Theexercisescanexaminereaching,touching,walking,everypossibleactivity.Theexercisesare
repeatedsothatgreaterattentionispaidtoeachmovement.Thisisverydifferentfromconcentratingon
eachmovement.Forifweanalysedhowwemanagedtostaystanding,wemightwellfallover.Youcan’t
rideabikebythinking.
TheexercisesdrawIrina’sattentionnotsomuchtohowhermusclesareworking,buttowhatIrinais
doingtostophermusclesworking.Theexerciseisnottowakehersleepingmuscles,buttohelpherto
recognisethatsheissecretlyinjectingthemwithanaesthetic,likeacrazednurse.
Wesquandermassesofenergybraking,suppressing,curbing,limiting,deadeningandconfiningthe
muscles.Weneedeveryscrapofthiswastedenergytopayattentiontothedevelopingsituation.These
exercisesdrawtheattentiontosecretinnerlocks.Theonlykeywecanuseisattention,butattentionfits
alllockslikeamiracleskeletonkey.
Groundenergy
‘Groundenergy’canalsohelp.Imaginethatallenergywellsupfromtheground.Theactorliesdownand
sensesthefloorsupportingthebackandgraduallypaysattentiontoeachofthepointsofcontactbetween
thefloorandtheback.Astheactorbecomesmorerelaxed,morepartsofthebodycomeincontactwith
thefloor.Thespinerelaxesandlengthens.Soon,heorshecanspeakthetextasifitiscomingupfromthe
floorandupthroughthediaphragm,thelungs,thenthroughthethoraxandfinallyresonatingthroughthe
entirebody.Slowlytheactorcanbuilduptostanding,whentheonlyrouteforthegroundenergywillbe
torisethroughthesolesofthefeet,viatheanklesandsoupwards.
Itisimportantthatastheactorstands,thekneesremainflexible.Wehavemanypressurepointsinthe
bodywherewecanlockofftheflowofenergy.Thekneesandtheneckareonlytwoofthebusier
junctions.Theneckneedstobekeptfreeoftensionandthekneesneedtobekeptunlocked.
Thisexercisecannotbeperformedinthehead.Likeallexercisesitcanonlybeexperiencedsensually,
likethewiserpresidentialcandidatewhoneededtofeelthespace.Particularlyiftherehearsalhasstarted
withtheactorshunchedaroundatable,thengroundenergyexercisescanhelptocorrecttheresulting
imbalanceinenergy.
Ithelpstoimaginethattheenergywellsupfromthegroundbecausefartoooftentheactor
unconsciouslybelievesthatallusefulenergytricklesdownfromthebrain.Thisinvisibleassumption
limitstheactor’sfreedom.Butsadly,itisalltooeasyforcivilisedustoimaginethatenergyradiates
downfromthehead;ithasbeendrilledintous.Evenifweattendedschoolsthattaughtnothingbutdance
andsport,itisstillburieddeepinourculturetoperceivecontrolasa)alwaysagoodthingandb)as
physicallyradiatingdownwardswithinthebody.Ofcoursethisisunconscious,butithelpsexplainwhy
somanyofus,evenathletesanddancers,donotmoveaswellaswemight.
Breathing
Likemovement,respirationisoneofthesevencharacteristicsofalllivingthings.Breathingiscrucialfor
life.Webreathenaturally–otherwisewewouldallbedead.Webreathenaturallyaccordingtothe
thought.Thatissimple.Whatisnotsosimpleiswhyweinterferewiththisprocess.Whydoweforce
ourselvestobreatheatoddtimes?Ifyouwanttoknowwhentobreathe,theanswerissimple:‘Whenyou
wantto.’
HowthendoesIrinadecidewhenJulietwantstobreathe?Shecannot;norshouldsheeverattemptsuch
ahair-raisingventure.ButthenevenJulietherselfdoesn’tdecidewhenJulietbreathes.BecauseJuliet
breatheswhenthetargettellsherto.Thetargetalwaysdecideswhenwebreathe,howdeepourbreath
shouldbe,atwhatspeedandhowcompletelythebreathshouldbeexhaled.Forexample:
Apainfulmeeting
Sayyouhavesomethingpainfultosaytoafriend.Themomentcomesforyourcarefullypreparedspeech.
Youlookatthesaidfriendandtakeinadeepbreath.Butwhenthetimecomes,itisnotyouwhodecides
whenandhowtobreathe.Itisthesightofyourfriendplusthethoughtofwhatwordsyoumustusethat
decide.Ishehappy,anxious,relaxed?Youseehim,collectyourthoughtsandtheninhaleaccordingly
withoutthinkingofthebreath.Becausethetargettellsyoupreciselyhowmuchbreathyouneed.Andthe
targetseemstocommunicatethismoreorlessstraighttoyourlungs.Totakeanotherexample,imagine
thatquiteunexpectedly,astrangerinapubstaggerstohisfeet,looksmenacinglyaround,smashesabottle,
lurchesinyourdirection,wavesthebottleinyourfaceandthen...slamsoutofthedoorandontothe
street.Youbreatheoutautomaticallyandprobablyinunisonwitheveryoneelse.Althoughtheother
customersarestillshaken,theynolongerneedtheuncomfortablereservesofbreathretainedlesttheyhad
tointervene.Forweretainbreathwhenthesituationisdangerous.Flightandfightmayemptyourbowels
buttheyforceustoreserveoxygen.Thisisareflex;itisnotaconsciousdecision.Sowebreathe
accordingtothedangerweperceiveinthesituation,inotherwords,accordingtothestakesweseeinthe
target.
Asecretmurder
Whenactorsdonottakeinenoughbreath,theysavagetheirtextandbutcherthelongerthoughts.Rather
thanrunoutofbreath,anactormaycutthelongthoughtintolittlesegments.Thewordsareallaccounted
for,asthetexthasbeenchoppedupintoeasilydisposablemorsels.Theproblemisthatbeforeitcouldbe
dismemberedthelongthoughthadfirsttobemurdered.
Athoughtisatarget,itneedstoberecognisedbeforeitcanbeactedupon.Athoughtmustbeseen
beforeitcanbeuttered.Andlikeanytarget,athoughtmustobeyalltherules.Inparticularthethoughtis
alwaystransformingitself.Athoughtneverremainsfixed;asinglethoughtwillmodulateitself,will
continuetochange,asavariationonatheme.AverseplaylikeRomeoandJuliethasplentyofprolonged
thoughtsexpressedinextendedsequencesofwords.
Breathingandtheimagination
IfIrinabeginsapassionatespeechwithherlungsonlyhalf-fullitisdangerousforhertosay‘NexttimeI
musttakemorebreath’,althoughthatisperfectlytrue.Irinaneedstoseewhyshehadnottakenenough
breathoriginally.Thepaucityofbreathisonlyasymptom;itscausestartsearlier.Irinarunsoutofbreath
becauseshehasnotproperlyseenthespecificstakesinthetarget.Lungshalf-fullarealrightto
remonstratewithaboyfriendthathasturneduplateforadate.Lungshalf-fullarenotalrighttoconfronta
loverwhomaydestroyher.
ButthisisnotadecisionforeitherIrinaorJuliet.Thisdecisionistakenbythetarget.Thedecisionis
takenbythesightofRomeo.NeitherJulietnorIrinacommunicatedirectlytothelungs.Consciously
decidingwhentobreathecanscuppertheactorandsinktheimagination.Itisonlywhatweseethatmakes
usbreatheappropriately.
Irina,then,needstobedoublyequipped.First,herimaginationneedstobeacuteenoughtoseethe
targetthatwillmakeherreactwiththatmanywords.Likethebody,theimaginationneedspatience,
trainingandendurance.Aswehaveseen,wetraintheimaginationonlybylettingourselvessee.Attention
isourbestcoach.
Butsecond,sheneedstotrainherbreathingtechnicallytosupportanylongthought.Herbreathing
musclesneedtobefit.
PartofIrina’sinvisibleworkneedstobethetrainingofherbody.Sheneedsthephysicalcapacityto
meetanyofthesedemandsonherbreathingwhenevertheymightoccur.Irinaneedstobefreeoftheworry
thatherbodyisnotreadytodowhatshewantsittodo.Thisworkhastobedoneearlyinherinvisible
workandaspartofhergeneraltrainingasanactor.Sadlythereisnopilltokeepusfit,soIrina’straining
canneverbecompleted.Theactorneedsdisciplineinordertobefree.
Thefourthuncomfortablechoice:
certaintyorfaith
Beforewecontinue,let’sconsideranotheruncomfortablechoice.Liketheotherchoicesitneedstobe
consideredintheinvisiblework.Thechoicesworkinparallel.Ofcoursetheycannotbedirectlyused,
buttheyhelpusrealigninamoreusefuldirection.Anaddictiontocertaintywillparalysetheactor.For
example,Irinawantstobecertainthatshewillnotdry.Butwecanbecertainofnothing.Goingoverand
overlinesinthewingsisafairlyreliablewaytoforgetthemonstage.Alltheactorcandoistohavefaith
that,whenneeded,thelineswillbethere.Anobsessionwithcertaintydestroysfaith.Wecannothave
certaintyandfaith;wecanhaveeitheroneortheother.NorcanIrinabecertainthatherfeelingswillbe
readyoncue.Butshecanhavefaith.
15
‘IDON’TKNOWWHATISHOULDFEEL’
Wecannotexpressemotion.Ever.Emotion,however,expressesitselfinuswhetherwelikeitornot.We
cannot‘do’anemotion.Wecannot‘make’anemotion.Wecannot‘show’anemotion.Ouremotions
expressthemselvesonlythroughwhatwedo.Forexample,inordertoexpressmyhatredforsomeoneI
havetodosomethingelse,say,givethemablacklookorhitthem.Wehavenocontroloverourhatredof
someone,butwecanchoosewhattodoaboutit.Wecanignoreourhatred.Orwecanchoosetoseeit.
Andthenperhapsitwillchangeofitsownaccord.Butonlyperhaps.
‘Emotions’and‘feelings’areimpreciselabelsforawidevarietyofsomethings.Moreconfusingly,our
namesforspecific‘feelings’or‘emotions’oftenmisleaddeliberately.Furymaybeloverebaptised,a
desiretonurturemayconcealanurgetodestroy,andtheself-destructiveteenagermaybeprotecting
othersfromhisviolence.Wecanhidetheirnamesbutourfeelingsareoutofourcontrol.Theyhappento
uswithoutourpermissionandwearenotresponsibleforthem.Whatwecancontrol,however,iswhat
wedo.
Emotionsarediverseandfighteachother,likethegodsofAncientGreece.Thismeansweareina
stateofinnerwar,oratbestanunstabletruce.Thisinnerconflictpainsussomuch,thatweonlypermit
ourselvesapartialglimpseofthebattlefield.Giventhechoice,wewouldfarprefertheconflicttotake
placewelloutsideus.Indeedthisisoneoftheveryreasonswegotothetheatre.
Whatismycharacterfeeling?
SoitisdangerousforIrinatoask:‘WhatisJulietfeeling?’Thequestionseemsobviousandeven
generous,butactuallyitconstrictstheheart.ThequestionisinfectedwiththesubtlevanitythatIcanever
betotallysureofwhatIfeel.AndifIcannotbecertainaboutwhatIfeel,howcanIbecertainaboutwhat
Julietmay‘feel’?‘Whatismycharacterfeeling?’hasnopracticalanswerfortheactor,andsoisuseless
toask.
Enormous,conflictingandchangingfeelingsdiscombobulateJulietthroughoutherencounterwith
Romeo,butitisunlikelythatJulietwillbeabletointerpretthemorevencountthemaccurately.Howthen
couldIrina,adirectororanyoneelseclaimtopinpointalltheemotionsthatbattlewithinher?Somehold
thatourfeelingsarecompletelyknowable.ItisadictumofEnglishlawthat‘aman’sstateofmindis
verymuchlikethestateofhisdigestion’,andtheprinciplehashangedmany.Simplificationmaymake
thejudge’sjobeasierbutnottheactor’s.Inanyevent,Irinaisanartistandherjobthepolaroppositeof
passingjudgement.AnyattemptbyIrinatoknowwhatJulietfeelsisdoomed.SoanythingthatIrinahas
managedtomanufacturewithinherselffromworkingoutwhatshethinksthatJulietfeelsmustalsobe
false.Exhaustingmaybe,butstillfalse.
However,manyofus,myselfincluded,gotothetheatrepreciselyinordertowatchextremeemotions,
andloathepassionlessperformances.ThenwhatJulietfeelsmustbecentraltoIrina’sperformance.So
whatcanitmeanthat‘theactorcannotproduceemotion’?Inthisrespect,feelingishorriblysimilarto
character.BotharecrucialtoIrinayetbothseemhideouslyindependentofher;theysimplywon’tdowhat
shewants.WhatcanIrinadowiththefrustratingfactthatshehasnocontroloverwhatismostimportant
forher?
Feelingandthetarget
Firstofall,Irinamustfacethehardfactthatshecanneverdirectlycontrolcharacterorfeeling.Shehasto
walkawayfromthetwindelusionsthatwedecidewhoweareandthatwedecidewhatwefeel.
Wehavetoturnourbacksandputthistemptingliesquarelybehindus.Thesetwodelusionsseemso
real,buttheyalwaysleadusfirmlyhome.WhatthencanIrinado,paralysedbythedreadthatshewill
feelnothing?Shecanhelpherself,asalways,byrememberingthetarget.
Generalisationsdiefast
Wemaywellbeinageneralstateofwantingbutthisfeelingdemandstobeexperiencedinaspecific
image.Sexualdesireneedsfleshtoknowitself.Whateverthestimulusmaybe,itisalwaysatarget;the
targetisthecatalystforthereleaseoffeeling.Nofeelingcanbetriggeredwithoutatarget.Forexample,
wemaywakeupfeelinggrumpy,seeourbadhumourforwhatitisanddealwithit.Orwemaysee
anotherconcretereasonforthatmood–theweather,thejob...ormaybegoandpickafightwith
someone.Themoreafeelingbuildsanddemandstobereleasedthemoreindiscriminatewemaybecome
aboutwhichtargetweseetoprecipitateitsrelease.Theonethingworsethanbeingfrightenedof
somethingisbeingfrightenedofnothing.
Thetargetinconflict
Letusseewherethetextprovidesexamplesofemotionalwar,wherethetargetisinconflict.Wewon’t
havetolookfar:
‘Mybountyisasboundlessasthesea,
Myloveasdeep:themoreIgivetothee
ThemoreIhave,forbothareinfinite.’
With‘boundless’JulietmayseeaRomeowhomustbewarnedofwhatheisgettinginto,butshemay
alsoseeaRomeosheloves,whomshedoesn’twanttoconfuse,frightenorreject.Andallofthese
RomeosthatJulietseessimplydon’tadduptoacoherentRomeo.Heisamassofcontradictions.These
picturescontradictandfighteachother;thetargetsmakeforconflict.IrinacanneversumupJuliet’s
attitudetoRomeo.AndevenJulietherselfcouldneverdefineandnumberallJuliet’sfeelingsforRomeo.
AllIrinacandoisseethedifferentRomeosthatJulietsees.
SowhenJulietcries:‘Oswearnotbythemoon’perhapssheseesaRomeoshewantstohitandalsoa
Romeoshewantstokiss.Asalways,thetargetmustbespecific.JulietmayseeaRomeoshewantstohit
hard,andaRomeoshewantstokissequallyhard.Ultimately,seeingtheimagewillgenerateallthe
feelingthatIrinaneedstoplayJuliet.ButofcoursetryingtofeelwhatJulietfeelswilldestroyIrina’s
performance.
Practicallyspeaking,alloftheactors’feelingsaregeneratedinwhattheysee.Feelingcannotbe
generatedbyitself.Thefeelingwillfollowthetarget,butthetargetwillneverfollowthefeeling.Any
attempttogeneratefeelingindependentlyofthetargetwillparalysetheactor.
Theabsenceoffeeling
Weareappalledtohearthatsomeoneweknowhascommittedsuicide.Butthequestionthattendstoflash
firstthroughourmindsisnot‘why?’but‘how?’Andthisneedtoknowhowinsomewayshamesus.
Surelyweoughttobeabletofeelthistragedyimmediatelyandpurely.Wewanttobeabletofeel
compassionforthepainandlossofeveryoneaffected.Andwewanttofeelthatcompassioninstantlyand
toorder.
Butno.Insteadwewanttoknow‘how?’andthen,perhaps,‘whofoundhim?’Weareembarrassedto
pryintothemacabredetail.Weneedtoseetheemptybottleorthetightrope,andfeeluneasythatwe
cannotfeelwithouttheimage.Wemayfeelashamedthatwewanttoknowthetrivialdetailsofthe
mechanics,beforewecanstartaddressingsuch‘better’questionsas‘why?’Wefeelmean-spiritedbeside
themagnitudeoftheevent,andallwewanttoknowis‘Washetuckedupinbedorslumpedoverthe
steeringwheel?’
Butdidweoncefeelthingstoorder?Wasthereonceagoldenagewhenprimitivebutclear,intenseand
unequivocalfeelingsweredeliveredspontaneously?Hassomepureinnocenceofemotionbeendegraded
bythismodernurgetosniffthedustbindetail?
Themessenger
Sophocles’Antigoneendswithadescriptionofthreesuicides.ThemessengerfirsttellstheQueenthat
hersonandniecehavetakentheirownlives.ThemessengersparesEurydicenothinginconcretedetail.
Shelearnsthatthematerialhernieceusedtohangherselfwassilk;sheisthentoldexactlyhowand
wherehersonplungedhisswordintohisownbodyandpreciselyhowhisbloodspatteredherniece’s
cheekinhisdeathrattle.Eurydicethenkillsherselfinthepalace.WhenCreonarrives,bearingthebody
ofhisson,themessengerreportstheterriblenewsofhiswife’sdeath.Againthewidowerissparedno
circumstantialdetail.Heisinformedpreciselythattheknifepenetratedhiswife‘beneaththeliver’.The
messengerknowsthatCreon’sentirefamilyhasbeenwipedout;whydoeshetormentthesurvivorwith
thissurgicaldetail?Butthemessengerisnotstupid.HeknowsthatCreonmustsee.Creonmustseein
ordertofeel.Creonmustfeelinordertorecognisewhathehasdone.Itisnotaquestionofpunishing
Creon.Creonmustseewhathehasdonewhenhewasblind.
Sophocleswroteextraordinaryplaysbecausehesawthatwedonotseeaswellaswemight.More
specificallyheknewthatwedonotseeaccuratelywhatwefeel.Heknowsthatfeelingneedsseeing.He
seesthathumancivilisationisnotasemotionallyarticulateasitimagines.Hewantstowakeusupfrom
ouranaesthesia,ifonlyinthebriefinterludeoftheprotectingtheatre.Hewantstotearoffourblindfolds
inthesacredspacebeforewelashthemonagainoutside.Heknowsthatitisagreatvanitytobelievethat
wecanfeeltoorder.HeknowsthatevenCreon,suddenlyandviolentlybereftofhisentirefamily,does
notknowwhathefeels.Beforehecantrulybegintofeelherdeath,Creonneedstoseehiswife’sliver.
Painhasnoname.Norhasjoy.Norhasanyfeelingbecauseallfeelingsareasspecificasfingerprints.But
theunnamedfrightensus.Wenamethingsinordertobeabletothinkaboutthem.Wecannotthinkorfeel
properlyuntilwehavenamedourthoughtsandfeelings.Justbecausethenamesareinaccuratedoesnot
meanweshouldtrytostopthinkingandfeeling.Feelingsdonotcomewavingpassports.Theycomeunder
pseudonyms.Thisisbadnewsforreallife,butgoodnewsfortheactor.
Theemotedcentre
Irinamayfeelfrustratedthatshecannot‘feel’Juliet’sloveforRomeo,thatshefeelsnothing,andcannot
expressherlove.Butinsofarasloveisanemotion,Julietcanneverdirectlyexpressit.
‘Mybountyisasboundlessasthesea,
Myloveasdeep:themoreIgivetothee
ThemoreIhave,forbothareinfinite.’
IfIrinatriestofeelgreatloveforRomeoduringthesewordsandexpectsthatsomehowshewillthen
beabletorideonthisfeelingandsomehowtherebyexpressJuliet’stremendousfeelings,thenher
performancewillbepassionless.Intryingtobehotshewillbecomeascoldasdeath.Ifshetriesto
stimulatesomeimaginary‘emotioncentre’shewillproduceabsolutelynothingforherselfbutmisery;
Irinawillemote,showandlockherselfinathome.
Emotionandcontrol
Aswehaveseen,tryingtoshowemotionobliteratesthetarget.And,ironically,tryingtoshowemotion
emptiestheperformanceofallemotion.Butperhapsweshouldthinkalittleaboutwhywetrytoindicate
feeling.Anindicatedemotionisadesperategestureofcontrol.Thisdesiretocontrolfeelingisbornof
fear.If,asasafetynet,IrinadecidestoshowtheaudiencethatherloveforRomeoisdeepandsincere,
shemayshowoffhertechnique,butshewillstiflehervitalityandhercapacitytoreactinthemoment.
Shewillgohome.
Wemayclaim:‘Iwanttocontrolthis,butnotthat.Iwouldratherlockupthis,butletthatrunfree’,
butcontrolneverquiteworksoutlikethat.Howevercleverwethinkweare,howeversubtlywetrytouse
controldiscretelyandspecifically,controlalwayswantstotakeover.Itisnotpossibletocontrolonly
whatwewanttocontrol.Whenwetrytocontrolwhatis‘bad’,weoftencontrolwhatis‘good’too.All
controlhasahabitofrunningoutofcontrol.
Monitoring
Monitoringisaformofcontrol.Spiesmonitor.IrinamaywanttomonitorhowtheaudienceseesJuliet,
butassoonasshetriestomonitorwhattheaudiencesees,shewillalsodepressherowntalenttosee.As
weknow,controlcanbehelpfulandcontrolcanbedestructive;italldepends.However,auseful
principleisthat:
Theactordoesnotcontrol,whilethecharacterdoes.
Wehaveencounteredthisideaalreadyinthemessageexercise,wheretheactormustnottry,butthe
charactermust.
Adigression:murderedemotion
Wheneverwetrytoshowemotion,itimmediatelybecomesfake.Weoftennoticethatwhenwetryto
showourlovetoothers,itdoesn’treallywork.Lovemanifestsitselfthroughwhatwedo.Lovehappens
whenwepayattention.But‘love’isanotherhighlyinaccuratelabeltocoveramultitudeoffeelingsand
connections.Forexample,JulietmaytrulyloveRomeo,whichisabouthim,orbe‘inlove’withhim,
whichismoreabouther.
Adigression:taboo
Onthewhole,unconsciouscontrolisdestructive.However,atabooisanexampleofanunconscious
control,andourculturesappeartothriveonthem.Thisgroupunconsciouscontrolisasbasictosocietyas
theatre.Atabooisacollectiveunconsciouscontrolthatorganisessocialrelationshipswithinalawthat
appearsinstinctiveratherthanimposed.Dramacanquestionalltheselawsbothlegislatedand
unconscious,whichiswhytheatreoftenfindsitselfonthewrongsideofpoliticiansandpriests.Medea,
Gertrude,Oedipus,Creon,Angelo,Macbeth,Desdemona,RomeoandJulietalltransgressbothlawand
taboo.
Thecharacter’scontrol
AlthoughIrinamustnotcontrolhowsheisseenandunderstood,Julietmusttrytocontrolhowsheisseen
andunderstood.Irinadoesnottrytocontroltheaudience’sperceptionsofthescene,butJulietmusttryto
controlRomeo’sperceptionofJuliet.
Julietprobablyhastofightasimilarduelastheonefoughtbythemanthreatenedwiththeknife.Isthis
goingtobeattentionorconcentrationorfluctuatesickeninglybetweenthetwo?Thereisalotatstakefor
JulietinRomeo;shehastogleanalotofinformationfromwhathesaysandfromwhatheleavesunsaid.
Shemustlearntointerprethisfaceandhisgestures,sheneedstoseeifheislyingtoher,orlyingto
himself,orgenuinelytryingtotellthetruth.Sheneedstoseeifheisgenerous,shallow,brightorconstant.
Shewillfeelthesethingsbyobservingthem.Anditwillhurtherheadbecauseallthesethingsjustdon’t
addup.Allthesethingssimplydonotmakeforaunifiedpolicy.
IrinacanneithercreatenorcontrolthecomplexityofwhatJulietfeels.Allthatshecandoissee
throughJuliet’seyes.JuliethassomeimportantthingstosaytoRomeo.Forexample,Julietmustteach
Romeowhosheis.AndsheneedstopayattentiontoRomeoinordertosucceed.Sheneedstosearchhis
faceandhiswords,todiscernwhatheunderstands,andwhatheonlythinksheunderstands.Butifshejust
expressesherselfatRomeohewillunderstandlittle.SoIrinaisfacedbytheparadoxthatalthoughIrina
cannotdirectlyexpressanyofJuliet’sfeelings,Juliet’sfeelingsstillneedtobeexpressed.Sowhatcan
Irinado?
Emotionalwayshinderswhatwedo
ThisprinciplecangiveIrinaconsiderablerelease.Whatwefeelalwaysmakeswhatwedomore
difficult,nevereasier.SoJuliet’sfeelingsforRomeomustimpedewhatshedoestohim.Sothatwhatever
Irinaplaysontheselines–whethertoamuse,seduce,teach,warn,confuse,possess,reassure,caress,
soothe,frightenorexciteRomeo–herloveforRomeomakesdoingtheseharder.
Forexample,sayyouaresoangrywithsomeonethatyouroaratthem,‘Getout!’youmayfeelthatthis
shoutperfectlyexpressesyourfeelingofrage.Butthisisnothelpfulfortheactor.Theactormustseparate
whatthecharacterfeelsfromwhatthecharacterdoes.Herethecharactermayfeelanger,butthecharacter
cannotdo‘anger’.Lettheactorimaginethatthecharacter’srageactullyimpedeshimfromgettingthe
othertoleave.Togettheothertoleave,thecharactermustcontrolhisanger.Perhapshemaytrytoforce
hisvoiceintoawhisper,orenunciateverycoldly.
Theprinciplecanbeexpressedasfollows:anactorcanneverplayanemotion,butanactorcanplayas
ifimpededbyemotion.Infactitisimpossibleforanactortoactanythingwithoutemotionobstructingit.
LoveforRomeomakesitmoredifficultforJuliettoexpressherlovetowardshim.
Notonlydoestheactorneedtopolarisefeelingfromreaction,theactoractuallyneedstosetthesetwoat
loggerheads.
Emoting
WhenJulietspeaksoftheboundlessnessoftheseaitmaytemptIrinato‘paint’thewordswideandlarge,
toparalleltheimmensityoftheocean.Thisis‘emoting’.Irinamaybeoverawedbythesheermagnitude
ofthewordsandtheimpliedemotion;thiscanhavethedangerousside-effectofmakingIrinafeel
inadequate.Shemaypanicthatheremotionalreservesareinadequatetofillthebigmoment.Shemayfeel
shehastomatchthescaleofthewriting.IfIrinafeelsthatshehastopumpupherinsideshewillonly
paralyseherself.Orshewouldburstherperformance,aswouldaballoonthatflewhighenoughtoescape
theearth’satmosphere.Iftherewerenomoregasoutsidepressingin,thegaswithintheballoonwould
expandtillitshatteredthefragileplastic.
Thefeelingisalwaysbiggerthantheword
Aswesawwiththelove-sickadolescent,whatwefeelisalwayslargerthanourmeanstoexpressit.This
becomesmoreevidentthemorethatwefeel.Themorethestakesgoup,thebiggerthepressurewithin
andthebiggerthepressureoutside.
Inotherwords,whenIrinapanicsthatshemaynotfeelenough,shecanrememberthatthemoreshe
controlswhatJulietdoes,themoreJulietwillfeel.
Thecriticalstagesinjetflightaretake-offandlandingbecauseduringthoseminutesthegreatest
pressureisexertedontheaircraft.Themorethatwehavetowinorlose,themorewhatisinside
increasesinsize,andthemorewhatisoutsideincreasesinsize.TheBritishHouseofCommonsis
deliberatelydesignedwithtoofewseatstoaccommodatealltheMPsatonce.Thisoddeconomyisto
increasethesenseofoccasionwhenthehouseisjammedfullforacrucialdebate.
Theactornevermanufactureswhatthecharacterfeels.Thecharacteralwaystriestocontrolwhatthe
characterfeels.
Evenwhenpeopleappeartoexpressintenseemotion,whatweactuallyseeisnotthatperson
expressingfeelingbutrathertheirdesperatecontrollingofit.TheArabmotherkeeningoverherdeadson
iscontrollingandshapinghergriefintoaritualformsothatitmightexpressitself.Thefatherappealing
ontelevisionfornewsofhismissingchildmustcontrolhistearsinordertomakehispleaarticulateand
heard.Thechildwhojumpsindelighttoseehersoldierfatherreturniscontrollingherjoyinherleap;
nothingcanperfectlyexpressherwildjoy,soshejustleaps.It’sthebestshecando,shefeelsmore,but
thisgesturewillhavetodo.
Thegestureisalwayssmallerthanthefeelingthatprecipitatesit.
Adigression:lying
Whenwelie,wecangetthisrelationshipthewrongwayround.Thentheinsideissmallerthanthe
outside;thecontentshrinkswithinitsform,likeoldpolishinatin.Whoopsofjoyatmeetingsound
phoneyifthereisnotenoughaffectiontofillthem.
Whenthereisagapbetweentheinnerandtheouter,whentheframeofcontrolislargerthanthe
impulseoffeeling,thenthereisalie.Itmaynotbeaseriouslie,butitisalieallthesame.Allthisof
coursewouldbeusefulifyouwereactingsomeonewhoislyingbadly!
Atafarmoreseriouslevel,intimeofwar,whenpositionsgettakenandissuesbecomesimplified,itis
alltooclearthattheloudertheabuse,thebiggerthelie.
Lifeloathesavoid.Andthereisnolifewithoutsomepressure.Andthesamemustbetrueforliving
feeling.Itneedsresistancetobeseen.Emotionneedstoberestrainedbeforeitbecomesvisible.Youmay
forgetthetrainismovingtillthedriverslamsonthebrakes.
Phaeton’schariot
AnotherimagecanhelpIrinaexploittheconflictbetweenwhatwedoandwhatwefeel.Phaeton,whom
wewillmeetagainlater,tookthereinsofhisfather’schariotandthehorsesranoutofcontrol.Theimage
forIrinaisthattherunawayhorsesarewhatshefeels,andsteeringiswhatshedoes.Themoreour
feelingsrise,themorewepullonthereins.IrinaknowsthatalthoughshecannotmanufacturewhatJuliet
feels,shecandowhatJulietdoes.ConsequentlyalthoughIrinacannotcreatethehorses,shecanpullon
thereins.Shecannotmakethefeelingbutshecanexertthecontrol.
Speed,emphatically,isnottheproblemforPhaeton;hewantstosteerthehorsesandtriestoslowthem
down.Phaetonwantstobringthehorsesundercontrol.OnlyifPhaetonweremadwouldhewhipthemon.
TherewouldbemanywaysofplayingPhaeton,butnonewouldincludehisgettingoutofthechariotto
pushthehorses.PushingthehorsesisabsurdbutthatispreciselywhatIrinadoeswhenshepushesona
feeling.ShowingemotionislikePhaetontryingtomakethehorsesgofaster.
Adigression:un-knowingortheneedtobestupid
Thefollowingironiesoftenastoundus:peoplewhoarecontainedcaneruptinviolence;inveterate
smilerscanburstwithbizarrerage;thewarmcanfreezewhenneeded;theunassumingcanshow
extraordinarybravery;theshyhaveimmenseegos;thegiftedoftenputtheirachievementsdowntomere
luck;theself-righteousareoftencorrupt;theneuroticcanbethestrongestinacrisis;thosewhocomelate
hatetobekeptwaiting;thesentimentalareinvariablycruel.
Actuallytheseobservationsarenotintheleastremarkable.Whatishighlyremarkableisthatweclaim
tobesurprisedbysuchcontradictions,despitetheoverwhelmingevidenceofourexperience.Weinvest
immenseenergyre-persuadingourselvesthatpeopleareonlyeverwhattheyappeartobe.Eachtimewe
hearofafundamentalistministerembroiledinacorruptionscandalhowverysurprisedweare.Oneof
ourmostextraordinarycharacteristicsisourabilitytoun-know.Wewouldprefertobeshockedwhenour
realproblemisthatwearenot.Ourabilitytoun-learnthesimplefactthatweareallamassof
contradictionsistrulyfascinating.Toforgettheambivalenceoffeelingtakesatremendouseffort.Itisas
ifthesameenzymethatsluicesthewakingbrainofdreamsalsopurgesawkwardacquiredknowledge.
FreudandStanislavskyareonlytwowhostrovetodigtotheunconsciousmindwithouronlyshovel:
theconsciousmind.Wemayfeeltheconsciousmindfindsithardtoreachtheunconscious.Butthatisnot
theproblem.Thetrueobstacleissubtleandtreacherous.Thedisturbingfactisthattheconsciousmindis
thedeadlyenemyoftheunconscious,andwouldpreferthattheunconsciousdidnotexistatall.Ouronly
allyhidesapersonalinterest;theloyalservantisasaboteurwithin.Theconsciousmindisso
compromisedinitsrelationshipwiththeidentitythatitmaypretendthatnothingelseexists.‘Therewas
norustlingdownstairs.Honestly!Thereisnooneelseathome.’Whyelsewouldtheawakening
consciousnessfighttoscrapethelastscrapofdreamfromourremembranceeachmorning?
Perhaps,within,weeachconcealaPenelope,whocreptdownstairseachnighttounraveltheday’s
weaving,andkeephertapestryunfinished.Homer’sQueenalwaysreturnedherworksafelytothestarting
point,to‘home’,sothatsheneednevercommittohersuitors.
Butwhydowekeepourselvesinthedark?Presumablyifweadmitthatothershavefeelingstheydo
notknow,thenwetoocouldbefeelingthingswithoutknowingit.Howalarmingthatwecouldkeep
secretsfromourselves–andwhatsecretsmighttheybe?‘No,thewholeideaispreposterous!’Perhaps
thisexplainswhywewouldsoonercondemnsomeoneasanoutrightliar,thanseethathebelievesthelie
hepeddles.Wereadilyadmitthatanorganisationmaybeunderminedbyasaboteurfromwithin.‘Of
course,that’ssimple,thatoftenhappens!’Butanunconscioussaboteurfromwithin?‘Never!Nowyou
aresuddenlyconfusingme!Now,thatsoundsfartoocomplicated!’
Hiddenstories
Moredisturbingthanrebaptisedemotionsistheideathatweconcealhiddenstories.Notjustspontaneous
emotionsthatwewouldratherrenameandun-feel,butentirenarratives,historiesandversionsofevents
ofwhichweareentirelyunaware.Cantherereallybeanunseenplotwithinmethatderivesitspower
fromitsveryinvisibility?Certainlywearefascinatedbysecretandinvisibleconspiraciesintheoutside
world.Aslongastheplotisnotlocatedinsideus,wefeelfine.DuringtheSpanishCivilWar,General
MolaclaimedthatfivecolumnswerereadytotakeMadrid–notjustthefourthatwerebesiegingthecity,
butafifthcolumninside,andaboutwhichmostofMadridknewnothing.Buthowawfulifwewerelike
Madrid,ifwehadsomeinvisiblesaboteurhidingwithinourheads?Weareexpertsatunknowing,andour
dreamssuggestweknowmanyworldswedonotwishtoseewhenawake.
Itisalarmingfornormalustoconsiderwhatwearequitecapableofdoing,andmerelychoosenotto.
Onlythethinfilmofourchoicestandsbetweenusandchaos.Thisknowledgeunderminesourcarefully
manicuredidentities.Wedonotliketoseethatwecannotcontrolour‘bad’feelings,likemurderousness
orenvy.Wedonotliketofeelthesethingsatall.Butwedo.Wearenotinchargeofwhatwefeel.Weare
onlyinchargeofwhatwedo.
WhatpracticaluseisallthisforIrina?IrinamayfeelinadequatebesideJulietintermsofexperience.
Irinamayfearthatshecannottrulyknowwhatitfeelsliketoriskherentirefuture,andthatsuchfeelings
areforeignintheirintensity.Itisnotafoolishfear.Juliethasneverdoneitbeforeeither.Julietplaysfor
immenselyhighstakes.
Beforewebecameinnocent
IfIrinafearsthatshelackstheexperienceofJuliet’semotionalintensity,sheshouldrelax.Themorelikely
problemisthatsomewhere,unconsciously,sheknowsalltoowell,andwouldprefernottoknow.Irina
willhaveexperiencedmanyhugefeelingsinherchildhood.InfactFreudfeltthatourdearthofmemories
frombelowtheageoffiveprovesthatweblockoutourearliestfeelingspreciselybecausetheyareso
engulfingandsubversive.Wedonotliketoremembertheenvyandrageofchildhood.Perhapsthisiswhy
childrenwhokillarehatedandfearedmorethantheiradultcounterparts.
Somewhereweallknoweverything;theprinciplemaynotbetrue,butitmayhelptheactoroverawed
bytheemotionalexperiencearoledemands.
Adigression:theimaginationpolice
Wecannotactonallourfeelings;sometimeswehavetosay‘no’totheimpulseswefeel.Butthisconflict
hurtsourheads.Wehatethepainofconflictingfeelings;soinevitablywetrytocontrolwhatwefeel.
Exceptwecan’t.However,itisexhaustingtokeepsaying‘no’toourselves,sowepretendthatweare
freeofcertainawkwardfeelings.Wedeludeourselvesthatcertainthoughtsandimpulsesdonotexist
insideus.Screeningwhatwefeelseemstobeaby-productofcivilisation.
Wepoliceourimaginationsallthetime.Ourthoughtsandfeelingsarepartofus.Certainfeelingsand
thoughtswelearntohate,andwedonotliketohatepartofourselves.Butwecanalwayslie,andhavea
varietyoftechniquestohelpusbelievethatliesaretruth.Forexample,wecanrenameourfeelings,or
imaginethatitisnotourselvesbutotherswhoharbourthese‘bad’emotions.
Thepolicewhoorganisethisrepressionhavespecialpowers:nocrimeneedhavebeencommitted.
Thesepolicecanarrestfeelingssimplybecausetheymightpossiblyleadtoacrime,orimprisonathought
simplybecauseitmightcreateabreachofthepeace.Thepolicegivethenewprisonersnewclothes,a
newname,aboringjob,mindlessentertainment,moralrehabilitationclasses,atinycelland
tranquillisers.
Everythingseemssowellrunthatittakesthesethoughtsandfeelingsalongtimetorealisethatthere
willneverbeatrial.Nohabeascorpushere,justpermanentdetentionwithoutcharge.Occasionally
frustrationoverflowsandtheprisonersriot.Wegetonlythewhiffofteargasanddistantgunfire,butthe
policerepresstheinsurrectionwithferocity.Theylockthemutinyingthoughtsinsmallercells,encourage
spiesanddoublethesedatives.
Whenwegotothetheatreweexpecttoseeatleastafewofthesecellsgivenanairingandtheinmates
slappedawake–itisalwaysusefultorememberwhatwekeepunderlockandkey.Atthetheatrewesee
othersfeelingwhatwedarenotadmitwefeel.Theprocessoftheatremaybeamystery,butitisaprocess
wecaninsomewaysupervise,ratherlikeacontrolledfire.Wecanbeginandendaperformance,rather
likelightinganddousingabonfire.Life’svicissitudesarenotalwayssocompliant.Welikeourhomesto
besafe,soweneedourtheatretoseemdangerous.
Adigression:censorship
Censoredfeelingsarenormallyagreatproblemfortheactor.Butadmittingandacceptingthatweeach
carryaroundthememoryofunacknowledgedandunownedintensitiesisuseful.Ithelpstheactorto
imaginethatweeachhavethepotentialifnottheexperienceofallfeelings.Eachofusiscapableof
feelingeverything.Perhapseachofushasfelteverything,sometime,somewhere.Maybethese
unbearablesmerelygotrenamed.TheactorsplayingtheMacbethsneednotfretthattheydonotknowhow
towanttokill.Theproblemisthatsomewheretheyknowonlytoowell.
Concludingdoxology
Itisnomorepossibletoexpressemotionthanitistoshitthroughyourear.Youcanpushandpushashard
asyoulikeanditwillstillnevercomeout.Thetubesdon’tconnect,that’sall.
Aswehaveseen,acommoncauseofpanicisthatourinsidedoesnotmeasureuptoouroutside.But
themapisclearandtheruleissimple:itisnottheinsidethatisinadequate,buttheoutside.Theoutside
isalwayssmallerthantheinside;thewordisalwayssmallerthanthefeeling.Doesthismeanthatgreat
Shakespeare’stextisinadequatetoexpressfeelings?Absolutely,andwemustinvestigatewhy.
16
‘IDON’TKNOWWHATI’MSAYING’
Wordsdon’twork.Wordsdonotdowhattheyaresupposedtodo.Measuredagainstourexpectations,
wordsareinadequateandevenbanal.Tryingtoexpressinwordswhatweneedorfeelislikeknittinga
scarfwithtreetrunks.Wemaywanttotellthetruth,butwordslie;theyhavenooption.Feelingsand
wordsliveindifferentdimensions,likepolarbearsandwhales.Speech,likeanyotherreaction,always
endsinfailure.Wordscanstarttodowonderfulthingsonlywhenwerealisethattheycanhardlydo
anythingatall.OfcourseShakespeare’slanguagecannotexpresstheimmensityofwhatJulietfeels.That
ispreciselywhyShakespeareisagenius.LikeChekhov,heclearlyseesthedistancebetweenwhatwe
wanttosayandthemeagrewordswehavetosayit.Morespecificallytheyseetheimpossibilityofever
beingtrulyheard.
AlthoughIrinamaybeintimidatedbythesheerscaleofthetext,shemustrememberthatJuliet’s
problemisthepreciseopposite.WhereIrinafearsheremotionistoosmalltosupportthetext,Julietwill
feelheremotionistoohugetobeconstrainedwithinthetinyconfinesofwords.Thisremainsacentral
andvitaldistancebetweenactorandcharacter.Thisisaliberatingdistance.Andwehaveseenthatif
Irinatriestoget‘near’toJulietbyeliminatingthedifferencesbetweenthem,shemayreassureherselfin
theshortterm,butwillblockherselflater.
AndhereisavitaldistinctionbetweenIrinaandJuliet:Irina’schallengeisthathertextistoogood.
Juliet’sproblemisthathertextisnotgoodenough.Themorethingsmattertous,themorebanalall
availablewordsseem.Weknowhowharditistoexpressourcondolencetosomeonewhosepartnerhas
died:‘Ican’tfindthewords.’
Wordsnotonlygiveexpression.Wordsalsodenyexpression.Andthemorethatthestakesrise,the
morethewordtendstostranglethefeeling.
‘No!It’snotthat;it’sthis’
Irinacanworkonthispracticallywithanothermessageexercise.InthisinstanceIrinahastoexplainto
Romeooverandoveragain:‘No!It’snotthat;it’sthis!It’snotthat;it’sthis!’etc.Irinaneedsto
rememberthatthe‘that’alwaysreferstosomethinggeneral,whilethe‘this’alwaysreferstosomething
specific.Irinacanmakethe‘that’clearbyasplayedgestureandthe‘this’byafocusedone.
ItisnotoriouslyhardtodescribegestureinwordsandIwillspareyouadiagram.However,Irina’s
armscouldspreadhelplesslyandwidetoshowRomeotheidiocyofhisromanticramblingsona‘that’,
while‘this’couldbeatinyconstraininggesturebringingherthumbandforefingertogethertoindicatethat
Romeomustthinkpractically.Thisisjustanexample,butalwaysthe‘that’andthe‘this’arepolar
opposites.The‘that’is‘bad’toJuliet,the‘this’isinvariably‘better’;the‘that’ishopelesslygeneralto
Juliet,andthe‘this’isalwaysspecificandhelpful.
Thegesturesandmovesdistilthemessageof‘No!It’snotthat;it’sthis!’intosomethinglike:‘It’snot
yourgeneralisedidea,butmyhighlyspecificideathatmatters.’
Irinaneedstorepeatthisexerciseoverandoveragainandinmanydifferentways,findingasmanynew
‘thats’and‘thises’aspossible.Again,whenthetimeisripetheobservershouts:‘Text!’
Moreonthemessageexercise
Aswehaveseen,onthecommandof‘Text!’,Irinashould,withouttheslightestgap,launchherselfinto
‘mybounty...’Aswehaveseen,thefirstfewtimesanymessageexerciseisdone,theactoroftenleaves
a‘gapofcontrol’whichputsakindoffire-wallbetweentheenergyofthemessageandtheenergyofthe
text.Oneoftheobjectsofallmessageexercisesistoletthephysicalenergyofthemessageflowdirectly
intothetext.Sothatthemuscles,bothanatomicalandimaginative,rememberthewaytheymovedinthe
exercise.Irina’sbodyandimaginationrememberhowsheshrankbythewallona‘that’andhowsheflew
uptohisfaceona‘this’.Whenitcomestothetext,themusclesbehaveinthesameregisterastheydidin
theexerciseandmoveinsimilarwaystosupportthetext.
Thisisonlyoneaspectofthisscene,butitisafoundationformanyscenes,andalsoausefuldeviceto
clearasaturatedhead.
Theemptyhead
Blockmakestheheadfeelsostuffedthatthemomentofreleaseoftenseemslikeanemptying.Indeedthe
newlyfreeactoroftenasks,‘Isthatall?’
Aftersometimeplayingthemessageexercise,Irinawillloseherselfinreaction.ThisiswhenIrina
forgetsherself,emptiesherhead,andstopsIrinafromthwartingwhatIrinaistryingtodo.Theactormust
forgettoobstruct.
Forexample,thetwodifferentelementsin‘No!It’snotthat;it’sthis’mayinitiallyseemthesameto
Irina.IfIrinasmudgeseach‘that’andeach‘this’,theobserverwillnoticethatIrinamakesnodistinction
betweentheseelements.ButitisIrina’sjobtomakeherRomeograspthatthe‘that’andthe‘this’are
polaropposites.Afterawhile,Irinawillstarttomakeaclearerdistinctionbetweenthesetwo.Shewill
becomemoreandmoredesperatethatRomeowillnotorcannotseethisessentialdifference.Sothatshe
willfeelforcedtoexaggeratethedifferencebetween‘that’and‘this’.Shewillshow,illustrate,indicate,
explainorprovethehugedistancebetween‘that’and‘this’toherpartnerinthescene.
GettingRomeotoappreciatethedifferencebetween‘that’and‘this’willmattermoreandmoreto
Irinaastheexerciseprogresses.ForIrina,thescenebecomeslessabouthowshesounds,andmoreabout
whatRomeohears.Irina’spreoccupationwithhowIrinaiscomingacrosswilldiminish.Irina’senergy
willincreasinglyengageinRomeo.Herimpulseswilloriginatemoreinherpartner:‘Whycan’the
understand?!’ThescenebecomeslessabouthowIrinaexpressesJulietandmoreaboutwhatRomeocan
orcannotseeorhearorbelieve.
IrinastartstoplayasJulietonlywhensheisfreeenoughtomakethistransfer.Asalways,thereaction
isonlyborninthetargetthatJulietsees.IrinacannevertransformherselfintoJuliet,butIrinacanreactto
theworldasifsheseesitthroughJuliet’seyes.
Asalways,theactorneedstoseewhatisatstakeforthecharacterandnotwhatisatstakefortheactor.
Thequalityofinterruption
Themessageexerciseshelponlywhentheyhavethequalityofinterruption.Thoughtisaseriesoftargets.
WhenIthinksomething,Iseeitasatarget.Allthoughtsaretargets.Andallthoughtsmustobeyallthe
rulesofthetarget.
Thoughthasaveryparticularqualityfortheactor,andthatisthequalityofinterruption.Weneverhave
athoughtfromnowhere.Andwealwayshaveathought.Ahumancanneverbebothconsciousand
thoughtless.Eachthoughtsupersedesanoldthought.Everynewthoughtforcesustodiscardanold
thought,athoughtwhichwill,inturn,beforcedfromourattentionbyaneven‘better’thought,jostling
itselfintoposition.Thoughtsareambitiousandcontinuallyelboweachotheroutoftheway–andnotwo
thoughtsareeverthesame.
Thoughtandtext
Developmentisunavoidable.Wecannotsaythesamewordtwice.Wecannothavethesamethought
twice.
‘Theorchardwallsarehighandhardtoclimb.’
Irinacannotgiveequalweightto‘high’and‘hard’.Theyaredifferentwords.Sothestimulusfor
‘high’mustbedifferentfromthestimulusfor‘hard’;theremustbeadevelopmentfromonetotheother.
Inthemomentofsaying‘high’,Julietmayimaginethattheword‘hard’,whichkicksitswayintoher
view,is‘better’togetwhatsheneeds–forexample,togetanansweroutofRomeo.Similarly:
‘FainwouldIdwellonform;fain,faindeny
WhatIhavespoke.Butfarewell,compliment.
Dostthouloveme?Iknowthouwiltsay“Ay”,
AndIwilltakethyword.’
Here,eachtimeIrinasays‘fain’,itmustbedifferent.Forwecanneversaythesamewordtwice.
Furthermoreeachthoughtisnotequaltoitspredecessor.Eachthoughtthinksitis‘better’thanits
predecessor.Eachthoughtpushesinuntilitisitselfthrownoutunceremoniouslywhenitoutstaysitsbrief
welcome.ThetargetsJulietseesinRomeochange,andtherestofherthoughtschangetoo.
‘Dwellonform’isnolongerasusefulasthethrillinglysimple‘denywhatIhavespoke’.JustasJuliet
interruptsherselfbytellingherselftoshutupon‘farewell,compliment’,sheinterruptsherselfagainwith
theuncontrolledsimplicityof‘Dostthouloveme?’andtheninterruptsRomeowith‘Iknowthouwiltsay
“Ay’’,’andagaininterruptsherself,andanypossibleremonstrationshemaymake,with‘AndIwilltake
thyword.’
Interruptiondoesnothavetobeliteral,inthesensethatIrina’snewwordsshouldactuallyobliterate
theprevious.Buttheoldthoughtneverresolvesitselfintoavoid,andthenewthoughtneveremergesafter
aconvenientgap.Beforetheoldthoughthastimetoexpire,thenewthoughtisclamberingoveritsbody.
Irinawillbemorefreeifherthoughtacquiresthequalityofinterruption.Thisqualitycomesfromletting
thethoughtsrunfree,asatargetthatmaycomeandgowheneverthetargetpleases;thetargetdoesnot
comeandgowhenevertheactorpleases.
Themorethetextisborninexternalstimuli,thebetter.Themorethetextcanbebrokendowninto
reactionstodifferenttargets,themoreIrinawillfeelfree.Themoreshepermitsherselftodependona
multitudeoftiny,orhuge,emphaticorelusivetargets,thefreerherimaginationwillrun.Themore
differentpulses,thebetter.
Onlythetargetandthetargetalonedictatestherhythm,speedandenergyofeverythingthatwedo.
Rhythm,targetandinterruption
Rhythmisdependentonthetarget.Interruptingshouldneverblockthetarget.Theactorneedstopay
constantattentiontothetarget.Whenweinterruptwedonotwithdrawourattentionfromeverything.
Whenweappeartointerrupt,itisinfactanewtargetthathasinterruptedus.Asaresultweshiftour
attentionawayfromtheoldtarget.Thenewtargetgetsourattentiontilla‘better’onecomesalong.When
itcomestothetargetweareincurablyfaithless.Theinterruptionisbecauseofthenewtarget.Whenwe
starttoplaywithseeingandinterrupting,itcanseemasifwecanonlydooneatatime.Buttheactor
needstopractisebothseeingandinterrupting.Ofcourse,seeingcomesfractionallyearlier;weseethen
wedo.
‘Interrupt’doesnotmean‘gofast’
Thisisthesimpleandrelentlesscaveattotheabove;itcanproveoddlydifficulttointerruptwithout
goinggenerallyfaster.Interruptingisaboutthetransitionfromonethoughttothenext,andgoingtoofast
willcuttheactorofffromthetarget.Interruptinghasnothingtodowithspeed.Whenwestarttopractise
interrupting,itoftenhasthissideeffectofmakingusgoquicker.Iftheactorjustspeedsupingeneral,the
targetwillbesmudged.Wedonotcontrolourspeed.Onlythetargetcontrolsourspeed.Whatwesee
dictatesourrhythm.Onthewholeourthoughtsrunquickerthanwelike,andbreakrecordsasthestakes
climb.Similarlywhenweareflusteredandsaywecannotthink,thisisnotstrictlytrue.Ourfrustrationis
notthatwecannotthinkatall,butthatourimaginationsarecrammedwitheverythoughtotherthanthe
thoughtweneed.
‘Interrupt’doesnotmean‘don’tlisten’
Interruptingdoesnotmeanthattheactorhastostoplistening.
ROMEO
Owiltthouleavemesounsatisfied?
JULIET
Whatsatisfactioncanstthouhavetonight?
ROMEO
Th’exchangeofthylove’sfaithfulvowformine.
JULIET
Igavetheeminebeforethoudidstrequestit...
ButinthisrapidexchangehowcanIrinalistentoRomeo,andmanagetointerrupthimatthesametime?
Howcanshepossiblystarttoseethethoughtandsay‘Whatsatisfaction’beforeshehasactuallyheard
Romeosaytheword‘unsatisfied’first?Whenherkeywordishislastword,whenshemodifiesthis
wordinto‘satisfaction’,thensurelyshemustheareverysyllableofitbeforeshecancopyit?
Irinacanremembertwothings:first,wetendtolistenmorewhenthestakesrise.Secondly,asthe
stakesrise,wealsobegintosensetheother’sunderlyingthoughtimpulses.Asthesituationbecomesmore
important,westruggletopredictwhatwillhappen.Asthestakesincreaseweanticipatemore
exhaustivelywhattheotherwillsay.Ourproductionofpredictionsandpossibilitiesgoesintooverdrive.
Asthestakesrise,wehavemoredreamsandnightmaresabouttheother’snextwords.
Imagineafriendhasphonedyouandgravelyaskedyoutocomeround...immediately.Heopensthe
door,iswhiteasasheet,andmutters:‘Iamverysorry,pleasecomein,closethedoorbehindyouand
sitdown.Ihavesomeverybadnews.’Andthenhepausestolightacigarette...
Whathappensduringthat...pause?Howlongdoesthat...feel?Whatcanyouimagineduringthat...
?Howmanydifferentscenarioscanyoupredict?Howmanypotentialwordsofhisdoyoudread?You
haveinventedenoughtowriteanovel.Thisiswhywecanhavethestrangesensationofknowingwhatis
abouttobesaidjustbeforewehearit.Thewordsseemtofillaspacealreadypreparedfortheminour
ears.Doesextremitymakeusclairvoyant?Itismorelikelythatthesoaringstakesstimulatethe
imagination,andthescenariosthatweinventmultiply.Thegreaternumberofpossibleoutcomeswe
envisage,themoreprobableitisthatatleastoneofthemwillbeprovedcorrect.
Inotherwords,justbeforeRomeosays‘unsatisfied’,Julietmightbedreading/hopingthatthewordhe
isabouttocomeoutwithwillbe:elated/lonely/happy/frightened/frustrated/angry/sad/satisfiedor
unsatisfied,etc.Shedoesnothavetohearfirstthewholewordandafterwardstakeasecondtoconsider
herresponse.Herresponsecanbesemi-readyandwaiting.Irinahastointerruptaswellaslisten.Itisn’t
easy,butit’swhatwedonaturallyasthestakesrise.
Interruptionisinescapable
EvenifIrinachoosestoleavealong,astonishedgapbeforesheenquires:‘Whatsatisfaction...’–she
willstillendupinterruptinganyway.Forhoweverlongthesilence,itcanneverbethought-free.Any
silencewillfillwiththoughts.WhateverJulietfirstsayswillbethethoughtthatinterruptedthethought
thatinterruptedthethought,etc....Everythoughtisaninterruption.PerhapsJulietdecidestotaketimeto
composeherself,makeaplanandthencalmlyquestionRomeotoshamehim.Eventhatcalmquestionwill
turnouttobedifferentfromtheonethatJuliethadplanned.
Acorollaryisthatthereisnosuchthingasatruedelay.Wemayputoffdoingsomething,butwhenwe
eventuallydoit,itisdifferent.Inotherwords,everythingthatIrinacandoisborninthemomentanyway.
ItisjustbetteriftheunavoidableimprovisationofthoughtsconsistsofJulietseeingayoungmanwho
mightbemadorbadordangerousratherthanIrinaworryingaboutanaudiencewhomightbethesame!
Thinkingandseeing
Whenwethink,weseeourthoughts.Athoughtisatarget.Thisthingthatisseenisthendiscardedfor
somethingdifferentthatisseenandisthenitselfdiscarded,andsoon.WhenIthink,Irejectonethought
foranother;IdroponethingIseeforanotherthingIsee.Thoughtisaprocessofdiscardingphotographs.I
seesomethingandthenwhatdoIdo?Iditchitforsomethingelse.
17
THEIMAGINARYTEXTEXERCISES
1.Thepre-textexercise
Likeeverythingelsewedo,allthatwesayhappensbecauseofsomethingelse.Alltextisareaction.All
textmustbeareactiontosomeoriginatingactionthatthetargetisdoingalready.Soforeveryfragmentof
text,therewillbesomepreceding,perhapsimaginarywordstowhichthetextisareaction.Anexample
shouldmakethisclearer:
‘Obesomeothername.
What’sinaname?Thatwhichwecallarose
Byanyothernamewouldsmellassweet;
SoRomeowould,werehenotRomeocall’d,
Retainthatdearperfectionwhichheowes
Withoutthattitle.Romeo,doffthyname,
Andforthyname,whichisnopartofthee,
Takeallmyself.’
IrinaneedstoimaginewhatRomeomusthavebeensayingthatwouldforcehertocontradicthim.Irina
imaginesthewordsthatshewouldneedtoreverse.Shegiveshimanimaginaryscript.Forexample,what
couldmakehersay:‘Obesomeothername...’?
Maybeifhehadsaidsomethinglike:
‘Iamhelpless,Ihaveafamousname,Juliet,Iamstuckwiththisname...’
Thenshewouldhavetochangehimwith:‘Obesomeothername...’Herwordsthenwouldbea
reactiontothispieceofimaginarytext.SoIrinahastoworkbackwards.Sheinventswhathehasbeen
saying.Theimaginarypre-texthappensbeforethelineshesays,andnotafter.Asforexample:
ROMEO
Butnamesmatter,Juliet...
JULIET
What’sinaname...
ROMEO
Anameiseverything,Juliet...
JULIET
Thatwhichwecallarose...
ROMEO
But...
JULIET
Byanyothernamewouldsmellassweet;...
ROMEO
Idon’tagree...!
JULIET
SoRomeowould,werehenotRomeocall’d...
ROMEO
NoJuliet!Intime...
JULIET
Retainthatdearperfectionwhichheowes...
ROMEO
ButJuliet,Ineed...
JULIET
Withoutthattitle.Romeo,doffthyname...
ROMEO
Withoutmyname,whatwouldIhaveleft?
JULIET
Andforthyname,whichisnopartofthee,...
ROMEO
Juliet,Iwouldhavenothingatall...
JULIET
Takeallmyself.
Thedotsattheendofthelinerefertothequalityofinterruptionthatisanessentialcharacteristicof
thought.Allofthesepiecesofimaginarypre-textgiveJulietsomethingthatshemustchange.Ofcourse
theyareprovisional.Buttheyareahelpfulwayintothescene,foritwouldbedreadfulforIrinaifJuliet
hadnothingtochange.WereJulietperfectlyhappywithhowthingswererollingalong,thenpoorIrina!
Andthatisanothervitaldifferencebetweenthetwowomen.
Inthisexercise,allJuliet’stextisareactiontoRomeo’stext.
Alltextsays‘No!’
ButwhathappenswhenitseemsthereisperfectagreementbetweenJulietandRomeo?
ROMEO
IwouldIwerethybird.
JULIET
Sweet,sowouldI.
JulietseemstobeagreeingwithRomeo.Thereseemstobenoconflictwhatsoever.However,theremust
beconflict,otherwisetherecanbenolife.Perhaps‘Sweet,sowouldI’means:
‘No,Romeo!Youthinkyouarealoneinyourfeelings,butyouarenot:Ifeelthesame.’
Or:
‘No,Romeo!Youthinkyouaretheonlyonewhofeelsmetamorphosedbylove,youarenot.’
Or:
‘No,Romeo!Youmayloveme,butyoudonotunderstandthatIloveyoutoo.’
Inotherwords,everythingthatJulietsaystoRomeomusthaveaformsimilartothefollowing:‘No!Do
notbelievethat,believethis!’
2.Theafter-textexercise
Thisexercisehasverydifferentrulesandshouldnotbeconfusedwiththepre-textexercise.
Wheneverblockstrikes,theactorremembersthetargetandthestakes.Whenblockstrikesandits
particularrootseemstospringfromthetext,aquickwayofaccessingthestakesistheafter-textexercise.
Irinacanuseitasatooltofreeherwordsfromtheclotofconfusingthoughts.Theafter-textexercisetakes
theformofadoublequestiondemandingadoubleanswer.Theactorsimplyasks‘Whatwouldbeagood
thingformypartnertoreply?’and‘Whatwouldbeabadthing?’
ImaginethatIrinahasgotherselfintoatangleover:
‘Obesomeothername.’
Shehastriedlongstressesonthe‘O’,infactshehastriedeverypossibleintonationoneverywordbut
Irinastillfeelsfakeanddead.SoIrinasimplyasks:‘WhatwouldbeagoodthingforRomeotoreply?’
and‘Whatwouldbeabadthing?’Well,onegoodthingforRomeotoreplywouldbe:‘Yes.I’llchange
mynamestraightaway’,andabadone:‘I’llneverchangemyname.’
AndIrinareplayshertexttoRomeo,emptyingherheadofeverythoughtotherthanthatshewantsto
hearthegoodthing,andthatshedoesn’twanttohearthebadthing.Thisprocessmayseemmindnumbinglyobvious.Thisdoublequestionmayseemlikesimplifiedbaby-talkbutinfactitisasharplittle
exercisethatcuresmuchinvisibleconfusion.Theafter-textquestionsspeedilytakeIrinathroughJuliet’s
eyesintothedynamisingstakes.
Awarning
Irinamustneverreplywithasingleanswer.Thesingleanswerisdestructive,howevermuchitmay
appeartoanswerbothquestions.Anexampleofthesinglereplycouldbe:‘Well,Julietisnowina
situationwhereshefeelsthatRomeomustrenouncehisidentity...’
Thecontentofthesinglereplymayseemtobethesameasthedoubleversionbuttheformisdifferent.
Fatallydifferent.
Forthesinglereplyoffersaglobalviewofthecharacter,whichintheshorttermmayreassureIrina
thatshehastakencontrolofJuliet.Butinsteadthesinglereplywillblockher,asitisafatalanswerin
‘one’.Theanswerin‘one’liftsIrinaawayfromseeingthroughJuliet’seyesandtoanapparentlysafe
distancewhereshecanviewthecharacterwithdetachment.
AndwheneverIrinaactsfromthisposition,shewillfeelherowndisengagement.Andtocompensate,
shewillpushandsqueezeandemote,andforallhereffortsatresuscitation,herperformancewillbe
stonecolddead.
Let’stake:‘What’sinaname?’
WhatisagoodthingthatRomeocouldsayafterthisandwhatisabadthing?
Perhapsagoodthinghecouldsayis‘You’reright,namesarenothing!It’sallacompletecontokeep
usincheck!’andabadthinghecouldsayis:‘That’saterriblethingtosay!Mynameismywhole
culture!HowcanIrenouncemyworld?’
IrinacandevelopRomeo’simaginedrepliesasmuchaspossibleastherehearsalprogresses.Shecan
letherimaginationsoar–forthegoodthingandbadthingneednotevenbeprobable.Andtherewillbe
manyofthem.ButIrinamustneverdevelopthebanalquestions.Infactsheneedstoworkextrahardto
stopthechildishquestionsfrombecomingsophisticated.Itisactuallyquitedifficulttostoptheformula
developing,forthebaby-talksimplicityisirksome.Perhapsitispreciselybecausethedoublequestionof
‘Whatisagoodthingthatmypartnermayreply?Andwhatisabadthing?’issoexposing,thatwefind
ithardtostickto.
Eventodevelopthedoublequestioninto‘WhatisthebestthingthatRomeocouldsay,andwhatis
theworstthingthatRomeocouldsay?’isslightlydangerous.‘Best’and‘worst’aretooextreme.
BecauseneitherIrinanorJulietcanneverbetotallysureoftheperfect‘best’andtheperfect‘worst’.An
examplewillmakethisclearer:
‘Dostthouloveme?Iknowthouwiltsay“Ay”,
AndIwilltakethyword.Yet,ifthouswear’st,
Thoumaystprovefalse.Atlovers’perjuries,
TheysayJovelaughs.’
WhatarethebestandworstthingsthatRomeomightsayafter:‘Dostthouloveme?’Presumablythe
verybestis‘Yes,Idoloveyou.’Andthentheveryworstis‘No,Idon’t.’Butitisn’tsosimple.Iimagine
manyofushavebeenpartytoaquarrelinwhichanelementis‘Doyouloveme?Don’tevenbother
sayingyes,becauseIwon’tbelieveyouanyway!Butdoyouloveme?!’ThisisnotquitewhatJulietis
sayinghere,butithasatasteofit.BecauseJulietgoesontosaythatalthough‘Ay’maybewhatshewants
tohear,shestillwon’tfullybelievehimanyway.Soshewantshimtoswearhislove,butatthesametime
JulietalsodoesnotwantRomeotoswearhislove.Shewantstwoconflictingthings.Shedoesn’tknow
whichshewantstohear.
Indeed,itisasifJuliethasperformedherveryownafter-textexerciseandcannotfindtheonevery
bestthingthatRomeomightsay.However,shecanfindamerelygoodthingthathemightsay,becauseshe
canfindotherconflictinggoodthings.Forexample,goodthingsRomeomightreplyare:
‘Yes,IswearIloveyou!’
andanothergoodthingmightbe:
‘Iwon’tswearIloveyoubecauseyouprobablywouldn’tbelievemeanyway’
andthesetwo‘goods’contradicteachother.AndthiscontradictionconfusesJuliet,buthelpsIrina.
Ontheotherhand,badRomeorepliesmightbe:
‘No,Idon’tloveyou.I’mjustusingyouaspoetrypracticeforRosaline.’
‘Yes,Idoloveyou!IswearandpromiseI’mnotconningyou.Imean,doIlooklikesomeoneweakwho
changeshismindalot?Imean,doI?’
Itdoesn’tmatteriftheseoutcomesareeitherboringorwild.Whenthestakessoar,manyremote
possibilitiesflashthroughourminds.Irinacanalwaysdiscardthem.But‘worst’and‘best’smackof
perfectionism.‘Goods’and‘bads’canbedisposableandnotnecessarilyserious.Ofcourseasthe
rehearsaldevelops,Irinawillfindmorespecificquestionsthatgivemorevitalanswers.Butaslongas
Irinakeepstothesimpledoublequestionformula,shecanexperimentwithout-landish‘goods’:
‘Youneedneverbefrightenedorlonelyagain.Actually,Ihavejusthadameetingwithyourparents
andTybaltandtheythinkitwouldbeagoodpoliticalmoveifweweretomeetandgetmarried.Infact
theyletmeintotheorchardthemselves.’
and‘bads’:
‘Itwasalladare!MercutiobetmeIwouldn’thavethegutstomakeuptoCapulet’sdaughter.Iwonmy
bet,Ihadyoufooled,didn’tI?ButIfeelprettybadaboutit,soIthoughtI’ddropbytoapologise.
ParisisagreatguyandI’llalwaysthinkofyouasasister.Trynottotakeitpersonally.Byenow.’
18
MAKE-BELIEVE
Therhythmofthree
Everythingthatwedofails.Everyreactionanactormightplayfails.Intheexercise,‘No!It’snotthat;
it’sthis’,Irinaisnotconvincingherpartnerthat‘that’isverydifferentfrom‘this’.Sheistryingto
convincehim.Shefailstodothis,andsoshetriesagain.Evenmorespecifically,Irinatriestochange
whatherpartnerbelieves,shefailsandthenshetriesagain.
Totrytoaltertheother.
Toseeithasn’tworked.
Totrysomethingelse.
Thesethreestepsunderpinallthatanactorsaysanddoes.
Theimpossibilityofcontentment
Purecontentmentcannotexist,becausewewillalwayswantsomething,evenifitisonlyournextmealor
ournextbreath.Thereisalwayssomethingtobelostorwon;thereisalwayssomethingatstake.
However,thestateofbeingeitherlostorwondoesnotexist.Themomentsomethingiseitherlostor
won,thereisalwaysanewsomething,somethingdifferent,tobeeitherlostorwon.Thisistiringnews
forreallife,butgoodnewsinacting.Therearenoplateaus.Wecannotinhabitafixedstate;infact,there
isnoachievablestateofanythingforus.Thereisneitherastateofsuccessfulachievementnorofperfect
disaster.Thehoped-forresultisneverastateofimmaculateachievedcontentment.Nordoesthedreaded
outcomeeverresolveitselfintopuredespair.
Evenwhenwhatwedoappearstotallysuccessful,westillfail.
Playingfordespair
Wedespairwhenthereisnohopeleft.Wedespairwhenthereisnothingmoreatstake.Therecanbe
nothingatstakewhenwetrytodepictastate.SoifIrinadecidesthatherjobinthebalconysceneisto
depictJuliet’sjoyatherloveforRomeo,thenhowevermuchshemaysmileorbreatheecstatically,she
willbeplayingfordespair.Fortherecanbenooutcomeinthedepictionofastate.
‘Playingfordespair’isamajorandfrequentsourceofblock.‘Playingfordespair’happenswhenever
theactorforgetsthatthereisadoubleoutcometoeverymomentofstagelife.Youplayfordespair
wheneveryoutrytoportrayanemotionalstate.
Theindicationofanyemotionisalwaysrootedindespair.Thatiswhyitdoesnotwork.
Theimpossibilityofdespair
Itisusefulfortheactortorememberthatpuredespairdoesnot,hasnever,andwillnever,exist.Eventhe
suicidehopesfordeath.‘Hope’and‘despair’soundlikewordsthatreflecteachother,conceptsthatmust
alwayscometogether,likenightandday.Butonlyoneofthemexists,andtheonethatexists,hope,is
permanentlypresent,ineverysituation.Hopeexistsasmuchaswedo,andindependentlyofourwills.
Wecantrytolockoutthevisitsofhope,butitseepsroundthethickestdoors.Hopeisoftencruel.
Puredespairisnotpossible.Thatiswhy,theologically,itistheonlysinwithoutforgiveness.Allsins
areforgivable;puredespairistheonlyunforgivablesin,becauseitcannotexist.Despairisonlya
technicalpossibility,likezeroorinfinity.
Theparadoxoflossandrebirth
Sotheactorhasastrangeandhelpfulparadox.Allwedofailsbutthereisnosuchthingasdespair.The
triplestep‘Wetry,wefail,wetrysomethingelse’iscrucial.Wecannotdothesamethingtwice.You
cannotplaythesamereactiontwiceanymorethanyoucanswiminthesamerivertwice.Thehuman
conditionisoneoflivingwithpermanentlossandpermanentrebirth.
Itisourlife’sworktokeepupwithreality,forthetargetcannotstandstill.
Thetriplestepof‘Itry,Ifail,Itrysomethingelse’underpinsthesceneforIrina.JulietseesaRomeo
shewantstochange.Topossesssomeoneistotrytochangethem,tomarrysomeoneistotrytochange
them,toseesomeoneistotrytochangethem.Whenwelistentopeople,wearechangingthemallthe
time.Wearechangingthemfromthepersonwhoisunheardintothepersonwhoisheard.
Changingbelief
Anyonewhohassweatedhourswithafightdirectorknowsthatthegoldenruleis:‘Keepeyecontact!’
Thefightdirectorknowsthatthecombatisasmuchintheintentionasintheblows.Similarlythecoach
knowsthatthegymnastneedsmotivationasmuchasmuscle.Thecoachmustboosttheconfidenceand
determinationoftheathlete.Infactduringthetrainingsessionthecoachputsmostenergyintochangingthe
beliefofthegymnast;andlater,duringthecompetition,thegymnastputsmostenergyintochanginghis
ownbelief.Theathletewilllearnthathisgreatestproblemisnotjusthisstrength,butwhathebelieves
abouthisstrength:‘Icangofaster!Yes,Ican,Ireallycan!Steady...IfIcanjust...’
Make-believe
Make-believeisaninterestingexpression.Itusuallyreferstothefabricationofanever-neverland.Butit
couldalsorefertobrainwashing.Ahumanbeingisa‘make-believer’,ormoreprecisely,a‘beliefchanger’.Humansarepermanentlyalteringbelief,eitherotherpeople’s,ortheirown.
Indeed,IrinacanworkoneverywordofJuliet’stextbyusingthefollowingsimplemessage:
‘No!Don’tbelievethat,believethis.’
Again‘that’ismoregeneraland‘this’ismorespecific.
Howcanthenotionofmake-believehelpIrinapractically?Howcantheexercisesaveherfrom
emoting?Let’staketheline:
‘Denythyfatherandrefusethyname’
TheexercisecanhelpIrinatorefinewhatsheisdoingfrom:
1.TotellRomeotodenyhisfatherinto:
2.TogetRomeotobelievethatheoughttodenyhisfather.
Thefirstissimple;thesecondseemsmorecomplicated.
ThefirstseemstomakeIrina’sjobsimplerthanthesecond.
ThesecondmakesJuliettryharder.
ThesecondforcesJuliettobemorespecific.
Thesecondmayseemverycomplicatedanddifficult,butthenthebalconysceneisverycomplicated
anddifficultforJuliet.
TheeasierIrinamakesthebalconysceneforJuliet,thehardershemakesitforIrina.
Whateverwedo,wearetryingtochangethetarget,andasurprisingamountofwhatwedoisan
attempttoalterbelief.Inparticular,alltextisanattempttoalterbelief.
Anotherexample
Whataboutearlier,whenJulietsays:‘arosebyanyothernamewouldsmellassweet’?Whatbelief
couldJulietpossiblybetryingtochangehere?AmongstotherthingsperhapsJulietistryingtomakean
imaginaryRomeobelievethatchanginghisnamewouldnotchangehim.Or,tobelong-windedbutmore
useful,seeingaRomeowhoneedstobeconvincedthatnamesdon’tcount.
Effectively,ourbeliefsareexternaltous;theybehavelikeothertargetsandmustobeyalltherules.We
arepermanentlyattentivetoourownstatesofbelief.Dothesestructuresworkonlyforactivemoments,
likeafightoraseduction?Howaboutmorereflectivemoments,whensomeoneismusing?IfJuliet
pondersthemoon,forexample?
Passivitydoesnotexist
Thisstatementhasanintriguingcapacitytoenrage,butitdoesnotneedtobetrue,merelyuseful.Ahuman
beingcannotdonothing.Ahumanbeingisneverinactive.Evenwhenwesleep,ourheart,lungsand
centralnervoussystemworkhardtokeepusalive,andwhentheslumberingbrainflickers,itsendsus
dreams.Scientificallyspeaking,dreamsalwayscomefrominsideourselves.Butourrapideye
movementsbetraythatwhatwefabricateisprojectedout–westillhavetoseeourdreamsunfolding
outsideus.Evenourdreamsarecomposedoftargets.Strangeshiftingtargetswithastrangerlogic,but
targetsallthesame.Furthermore,whenwedream,wearescriptwriter,actor,stage-manager,lighting
technician,director,editor,audienceandcensor...quiteanactivelittlebunch.
Butmanythingswedomayseemtobeentirelypassive,forexample:toreceivesomething,toyieldto
something,totakesomething,tosuffersomething,towitnesssomething,toundergosomething,toregret
something,tocomplywithsomething,toobeysomething,torecoilfromsomething,toignoresomething.
Butifweexamineeachoftheseinanygivenspecificsituationwewillfindthatthereisinvariablyan
activeelement.Althoughitmaybetiny,thisactiveelementisallthattheactorcanactuallyplay.
Humanbeingsarealwaystryingtogetwhattheywant.Evenatourmostaltruisticmomentsthisremains
true.Theproblemisthatsometimeswedonotwanttoseeourselvesas‘gettingwhatwewant’.Selfinterestcanseemuglyandsowemayperformasifwearepassive.Forthisparticularperformancewe
reservethebestseatfornumberone.Outingthepassivecanhavespectacularconsequences.Butmostof
ussomeofthetime,andsomeofusmostofthetime,andnoneofusnoneofthetime,concealour
wantingnessbehindablanketofpassivity.Ifwedidnothavethiscapacity,societywouldbeimpossible,
astherewouldbepermanentmanifestconflict.Thereremainsofcoursepermanenthiddenconflict.
Playingpassive
Howthencantheactorplaysomeonewhoappearspassive?Let’stakeGertrude.Perhapstheactorsees
Hamlet’smotherasShakespeare’sattempttostageagreatwithdrawer.Buttheactorstillneedstodoalot
ofinvisibleworkonwhatGertrudereallywants.Quiet?Peace?Thehappinessofherson?Asecure
kingdom?Acontentedhusband?Twomenfightingoverher?Theactorneedstoconsiderandthenperhaps
forgetwhatGertrudereallywants.ForGertrudemaywellneitherknow,norwishtoknow,whatshe
reallywants.Wedonotletourselvesseeeverything.Wemaywanttobehappyinacertainway,which
wenormallysee;butatthesametime,wemayalsowanttobeunhappyinacertainway,whichwerarely
wanttosee.
Itisoftenhardtoworkoutwhatwereallywant,andthereforehardtoworkoutwhatourcharacters
reallywant.Asageneralrule,however,wedoexactlywhatwelikewithintheconstraintsofthegiven
circumstances.
WhenRomeomurdersTybalt,heiscaughtinadeepconflictbetweentheoldfamilyvendetta,his
suddenloveforCapulet’sdaughter,hisdesiretobenew,hisdesiretostaythesame,andachoice
betweenMercutioandJuliet,betweenfamilyandfreedom.Hemayonlyrealisethislaterinthewisdom
ofhindsight.WehavehadhundredsofyearstoreflectonwhatRomeodecidesinasplitsecond.Buteven
withintheconstraintsofthegivencircumstances:hotblood,hotterafternoon,panic,incomplete
information,therushoffearandalltheadrenalinofrage,guiltandgrief–evenwithinallthese
constraints,Romeostillmakesachoice.
Deedsandwords
Deedscountmorethanwords.Welearnmoreaboutpeoplefromwhattheydothanfromwhattheysay.So
itisagoodrulethatwhenacharacter’swordsanddeedscontradict,thedeedsshouldbegiven
precedence.Therefore,duringtheinvisibleworkgivefarmoreimportancetowhatthecharacteractually
doesthantowhatthecharactersays–particularlyifthesetwoconflict.
Wehavecomebacktocharacter.Wehavecomebacktoemotion,text,reactionandspace.Thereare
manylegsbutonlyonespider.Wearetryingtofindthespider.Thelegscannotbediscussed
independently.Allmoveinunison,orelsethespiderfallsover.However,ifweleavethisstrangespider
justoneleg,itcanstillregeneratetheotherseven.
19
‘IDON’TKNOWWHATI’MPLAYING’
Theeighthandlastofthespider’slegsisparticularlytreacherousbecauseitsoundssoprofessional.Irina
wantstoknowwhatsheisplaying,andwhynot?ItmayseemabasicprerequisiteforIrinatoknow
exactlywhatsheisplaying.ButdoesJulietknowwhatsheisplaying?
IfyouaskedJulietwhatshewasplaying,shewouldlookquiteblank.Julietwillnotthinkintermsof
playinganythingatall.ButJulietwillknowshehastodealwithanextraordinarysetofcircumstances:a
wholehostofthoughts,feelings,deedsandpotentialoutcomesfightforherattention.Julietmustfindout
whatishappening,discoverwhatsheisfeeling,shemusttrytoseewhoandwhatRomeois,shemust
workouthowtosurvive,shemustworkoutwhatsheneeds,whatshemustprevent,shemustdetermine
whatistobelostandwhatistobewon.Onethingissure,Julietwilltrytodomanyofthesethings,but
shewillperfectlyachievenoneofthem.
Liketherestofthespiderlegs,‘WhatIamplaying’mustcomefromthetargetandnotfrom‘me’.But,
whenItrytoknowinadvancewhatIamplaying,Iinadvertentlyreversethisandhitchthecartinfrontof
thehorse.Infact,ifIcanpredictwhatIamplayingitmustimplythat:
Thetargetissomehowstill.
Iknowwhatthetargetis.
Iknowhowthetargetwillreact.
Icomebeforethetarget.
Icontrolthetarget,andnottheotherwayround.
...quiteafewassumptions.
ToknowwhatImustplayinadvanceisarehearsal-roomluxurydeniedusinreallife.TheUXBexpert
doesnotchoosebetweendefusingthebombandwantingtolive.Infacteventhesechoicesevaporatein
theconcreteminutiaeof:‘Doesthiswireconnecthere,ornot?Isthisoffswitchabluff,ornot?CanI
squintenoughtokeepthesunoutofmyeyesandstillavoidthefuse,ornot?’
Flux
Everythingmovesandchangeswhetherwelikeitornot.However,wemistrusttheindependenceofthe
outerworld.Thetargethasahabitofdoingwhatitlikes,andwedon’tlikethatverymuch.Wecannot
changethislawofflux,butwecandenythisunpopularaspectofreality.Wemayfantasisethattheworld
isstill,whenitisnot.Wecanchoosehowweinterpretwhatwesee,sowecanpretendtheworlddoesn’t
change.Thismechanismmaybeunconscious,butitmotorsuswheneverweaskwhatweareplaying–
withoutreferencetothetarget.
Knowingandplaying
Theproblemwithknowingwhatyouareplayingisthatoftenitdoesn’twork.Wecanknowwhatweare
playingtillweareblueintheface,andstillfeeldead.Thedifficultyisthattherealworldrarelyletsus
door‘play’exactlywhatwewant.Lifeisonelongimprovisation.Julietcanplanandplanwhatshe
wantstoplay,butplansneverquiteworkbecauseallplansareultimatelydependentontheoutsideworld.
Andrealityisfullofsurprises.
Wemustallhavesufferedfromthecollapseofthepreparedspeech:‘Ohyes!I’mgoingtotellhim
exactlywhatIthinkofhim.Ihavethefulllisthere.I’llbeginbysayingx,andthenI’llgoontoy,and
finishhimoffwithz.’Andwhenthetimecomes,youmarchintohisoffice,fixhimintheeye,and
surprisinglybutinevitably,‘Itwasn’tatallhowIexpecteditwouldbe!’
Itisnotsomuchhowyoufeelinsidethatisdifferent.Bothheandtheroomlookcompletelydifferent.It
isinthespecificandconcretetargetsthattheghastlymetamorphosisseemstohavetakenplace.The
officeisdifferent.Hisvoiceisdifferent.Hisfaceisdifferent.Yourthoughtsaredifferent.Yourwordsall
seemhideouslydifferent.Therehearsedspeechvanishes,andonlyafewtatteredphrasesgetblown
about.‘Itjustwasn’tlikeIexpectedittobeatall!’Butthemorethestakesgoup,thelessthingsturnout
asanticipated.Thissurprisethatrealityisotherthanexpectedisweirdlytenacious.
Target-freehell
‘Idon’tknowwhatI’mplaying’hasthesamestructureastheothersevenspiderlegs.Theexpression
endangerstheactorbyerasingtheactor’sonlysourceofenergy.Againone‘know’andtwo‘I’s.Our
preciousattentionspillsoncemoredownthedoubledrainofidentityandcontrol.
Playingmayseemlikeatarget-freeverb.Ithasaringofself-absorption.Thatisuntilweactuallylook
atachildplaying.Thechildisabsorbednotinwardlybutinthebucketandsand.Evenwhenabsent,
distractedorparanoidwearestillrearrangingeventsinourfantasies,wearealwaysonatarget.
‘Playing’canonlyeverexistinacontext.TheideathatIcouldknow‘whatIamplaying’irrespectiveof
whoorwhatIamtryingtochangeisplausiblerubbish.TryingtoknowwhatIam
Wecanneverknowwhatweareplayinguntilweknowwhoorwhatweareplayingto.Wecandonothing
atalloutofacontext.
Onlyafantasyiscontrollable.
Rules
Itissadwhenanactorsays:‘Butifsheplaysthat,thenIcan’tplaythis.’Theansweris:‘Yes,you’re
right,butcan’tyouplaysomethingnewthatyouhaven’tplanned,somethingthatarisesfromthisnew
event?’
Ofcourseitisonlyeasytodothiswhentheworkingrelationshipisgood.Sometimessuchopenness
canbeintimidating.Freedomcorruptedisanarchy.
Iftheactorisworriedbysuddenbigchangesonstageitwillcausefearandblindness.Every
performanceneedsrules;otherwiseindependencewillstiflefreedom.Theactorneedstofeelsureof
certainparametersinordertobefreetosee.Forexample,Irinawillofcourseneedtoknowinadvance
whereherbalconyis,butshedoesnotneedtoknowexactlywhereRomeowillcomefrom.Shemayneed
toknowexactlywherehewillbestandingatcertaingivenmoments,orshemaynot.However,ifIrina
planspreciselyhowshewillplayeachandeverylinethenshewillprobablyblockherself.Certainlyif
shewantstoknowwhatRomeoisgoingtoplayoneachlinethenshewillblockherself–suchtowering
structuresmustcollapseandsuffocateher.
Irinashouldgiveherselfrules,butnottoomany.Thereshouldbeonlyenoughrulestoempowerallthe
actorstoseesomethingnewinthemoment.Thistakesnotonlytrust,butalsoalotofpractical
application.Sensiblerehearsaldecideswhatcanbechangedandwhatcannotbechanged.Itisprudentto
fixinadvancewhatmustbepredictableandwhatmustremainunpredictable.
Totalfreedomisawonderfulidealbutwedonotliveinanidealworld.Indeedifeverythingis
unpredictable,wemaybecomeafraid,andwhenweareafraid,werelyonthingsthatarefamiliar,
howeveruselesstheymaybe.Thismayexplaintheironythatexcessivelyunstructuredperformancesseem
sopredictable.Theremustbesomestructure,butwehavetokeepacooleyeonit,becauseexcessive
structurewillalsomakeaperformanceseemdead.Polaroppositescanlookverysimilar–nostructure
andtoomuchstructurecanamounttothesamething.Theanarchistandthereactionaryhavemorein
commonthaneitherwouldcaretoadmit.
Thebigquestionis‘HowmuchstructuredoIneed?’Andtheansweristhatthereisnoabsolute
answer.Wemustjudgeforourselvesandacceptthatsomedayswetrustmorethanothers.Trustcannotbe
manufactured.
Wecannomoreforceourselvestotrustthantobepresent,ortoforgive.Forcingaggravatesallblock,
soitisdestructivetoinsist:‘Beopen!’or‘Bepresent!’or‘Trust!’Somewherewehavetoseethattrust
islikegrace.Wecannotdemandthesegifts,buttheyarefreelygiven.Ourchoiceistorefusethem,which
wedomuchofthetime.
Aboveall,theatmosphereoftherehearsalmustbesafe,sothattheperformancemayseemdangerous.If
theatmosphereoftherehearsalhasbeendangerous,thentheresultingperformancewillseemtediously
safe.WealllosewithFear.
Structureandcontrol
SayIrinadecidesthatJulietistryingtodefendherselfagainstRomeo’sadvances.Shemayhavegiven
herselfatarget,butthisstillgivesIrinaonlyonethingtoplay–thereisnoinherentdevelopment.
LetIrinathinklessaboutwhatsheisplaying,andseemorehowthetargetshifts.Forexample,atthe
beginningofthesceneIrinamayseeaRomeoshemustgettoleavetheorchardandbytheendofthe
sceneshemayseeaRomeowhomuststay.PerhapsJulietstartsbyseeingapotentialrapistandendsup
seeingasonwhomustbemothered.PerhapsshebeginsbyseeingaRomeowhoisbright,strongand
deep,andendsthescenelesssure,orviceversa.
Wecanhavealotofideasinrehearsal,somebetterthanothers.Buttheadvantageoftheaboveideasis
thatatleasttheytaketheformofpaths.TheygiveIrinaajourneyfromthebeginningofthescenetillthe
end,andajourneytakesusfromseeingonethingtoseeinganother.Throughrehearsalandperformance
Irinawilldiscardthesevoyagesforothersthatlivemore,buttheyareatleastvoyagesandnotstates.For
ifthescenedoesnotdevelop,itisnotasceneatall.ThoughGodotneverarrives,VladimirandEstragon
stilldevelop.AndevenGodotdevelops–fromtheirpointofview.
Developmentisunavoidableandstasiscannotexist:evenstagnantwaterteemswithmicroactivity.
Adigression:thedeathofstructure
Structureisdeadtheory,but,likeeveryinstitution,itenviesusandwantstolive.Everystructurehasthe
inherenttendencytochokethelifethatcreatedit,likeadelinquentrobot.Structurehasabadmemoryand
alwaysforgetsthatitisprovisional.Apingusthatlive,italsowantstobeneeded,butstructureisasdead
asabandage,anditscontractastemporary.
StructureslikethoseforJulietabovemaybeusedtounderpintherehearsal.Buttheactingwillbemore
liberated,if,withtrust,thesestructuresaregraduallydismantled.Ifbitbybitthesedecisionsaredigested
intothestakesthatJulietsees,thenIrinawillstarttoseeinherpartnerandalltheotherexternals,a
shifting,ambivalentandhighlyspecificsetoftargets.Asetoftargetsthatpropel,impelandcompelIrina
intofreeandvitalperformance.
Acceptingignorance
EvenJulietcannotfullydefinewhatJulietis‘playing’.Becausewhateverwethinkwearedoing,weare
alwaysdoingsomethingelseaswell.Notonlycanweneverfullyknowallthereasonswhywedo
something,butalsowecanneverbecertainofthefullmeaningofwhatwedo.Awordislargelyoutof
control,butweusewordsreadily.Ifwepausedtothinkofallthepossiblemeaningsofwhatwesay,we
wouldneversayanything.
Imayuseawordandexpectittomeanonething,andinfactthehearerbelievesImeansomethingelse.
Thatisobvious.WhatislessobviousisthatImayuseawordandremainunawarethatImeansomething
elsebyitaswell.
SoitisclearthatmuchofwhatJulietsaysisnotfullyunderstoodbyRomeo.ButJulietwillnot
understandallthatJulietsayseither.AndthisapparentcomplicationisofgreatusetoIrina.Forattimes
ofstresswecanspeakbetterthanweknow.Liketheroadaccidentthatsummonsusintopresence,the
soaringstakescanspontaneouslyreleasevocabulary,imagery,ideasandfeelingsthatweneverknewwe
had.Aswehaveseen,thecosmicimmensityofJuliet’s‘boundlesssea’willastonishRomeo.Butitmay
alsosurpriseJuliet.
Wecannotseethefullsignificanceofwhatwesayordo.Manythingsaboutourselveswecannever
know.Norcanweeverknowforcertainalltheconsequencesofwhatwedo.Norcanweeverbe
absolutelysureofthestorywearetelling,becausewhatappearstobeasinglestoryisalwaysmany
stories.Tobetrulyresponsiblewehavetoadmitofourignorance.
Evenwhenperfectlytiedtothetarget,arigidplanof‘WhatamIplaying?’isbestthrownaway.
OtherwiseitmightdeludeusthatwefullyknowwhatwearedoingorthatweknowwhatTimeholdsin
store.
20
TIME
NatureshiftsbyitselfandTimeisindestructible.
Timeisoutofourcontrol.Itistheactor’sfriendbecauseitpowersthethirdrulethatthetargetexists
beforeyouneedit.TimeworksforIrina.
Timeplaysmanytricks:Timeisnotjustawiseoldmanwithascythe,TimeisalsotheJoker,who
bringsinhisrevengeswiththebroadestofgrins.
TheruleofTime
Asthestakesincrease,sothetimeavailableappearstodecrease.Inotherwordsthemorethereistobe
lostorwon,thelesstimethereseemstobe.
Theactorintheinvisibleworkshouldalwayshaveenoughtime.Thecharacterinthevisiblework
shouldneverhaveenoughtime.Theactorneedstokeepafirmwallbetweenthesetworhythms.The
patientactortakestimewiththeinvisiblework,butthegallopingstakeswhipthereinsofTimefromthe
character’shands.Thecharacterisalwaystryingandfailingtokeepupwiththesituation.EvenWinnie,
buriedinsandinHappyDays,canbarelykeepupwiththethoughtsthathurtlethroughhermind;herlimbs
arestuck,butherimaginationtearsfree.Thestoryherlimbstellpalesbesidethedazzlingsequencesof
memoriesanddiscoveriesthatshesees.Hamletmayappearmotionlessonthestage.Butthestoryhetells
ushurtleson,hiseyesfullofdesperateoutcomesasthefuturestrafeshimlikeawarplane:
‘Todie,tosleep;
Tosleep,perchancetodream–ay,there’stherub.’
ButletusinvestigateasequencewhereJulietseemstosufferfromtoomuchtime:
‘Gallopapace,youfiery-footedsteeds,
TowardsPhoebus’lodging.Suchawaggoner
AsPhaetonwouldwhipyoutothewest
Andbringincloudynightimmediately.
Spreadthyclosecurtain,love-performingnight,
Thatrunaways’eyesmaywink,andRomeo
Leaptothesearmsuntalk’d-ofandunseen.
Loverscanseetodotheiramorousrites
Bytheirownbeauties;or,iflovebeblind,
Itbestagreeswithnight.Come,civilnight
Thousober-suitedmatron,allinblack,
Andlearnmehowtoloseawinningmatch
Play’dforapairofstainlessmaidenhoods.
Hoodmyunmann’dblood,batinginmycheeks,
Withthyblackmantle,tillstrangelovegrownbold,
Thinktrueloveactedsimplemodesty.
Comenight,comeRomeo,comethoudayinnight,
Forthouwiltlieuponthewingsofnight
Whiterthannewsnowuponaraven’sback.
Comegentlenight,comelovingblack-brow’dnight,
GivememyRomeo;andwhenIshalldie
Takehimandcuthimoutinlittlestars,
Andhewillmakethefaceofheavensofine
Thatalltheworldwillbeinlovewithnight,
Andpaynoworshiptothegarishsun.
O,Ihaveboughtthemansionofalove
Butnotpossess’dit,andthoughIamsold,
Notyetenjoy’d.Sotediousisthisday
Asisthenightbeforesomefestival
Toanimpatientchildthathathnewrobes
Andmaynotwearthem.O,herecomesmyNurse...’
Isthisanexception?Surelyherethecharacterhastoomuchtime?Thesituationseemsclear:Julietis
impatient.Butlet’sgobacktobasics.WenowknowthatanyadjectiveisutterlyuselessforIrina.So
tryingtobeimpatientwillblockIrina.WhatthenisIrinaplaying?Passion?Frustration?No,emotions,
likeadjectives,cannotbeplayed,fortheyareexpressedwithouttargets.
ItwillreleaseIrinamoretoask:‘WhatdoIstandtoloseandwinatthisspecificmoment?’Tosee
whatJulietmaywinorlose,Irinaprisesopenthetargetstoglimpsesomeoftheirduality.Sowhatcould
Julietseefirst?LetIrinaexaminethespecificdetailofthetext:
‘Gallopapace,youfiery-footedsteeds,
TowardsPhoebus’lodging.’
SoJulietmustbeaddressingthe‘fiery-footedsteeds’.Julietscoldsthesehorsesofthesun.Whatisa
badthingtheycandoandagoodthingtheycando?Perhaps‘Willyouhurryup,finishyourjobandend
theday?Orwillyou,horses,goondawdlingandkeepmefromRomeo?’
Julietwantsnighttocome,andanimagetumblesconvenientlyintoview.Anyimage?Phoebusisthe
sungodwhodriveshischariotacrosstheskyfromeasttowestwherehesleepsandthuscausesnight.
Shewantsthedaytoendandsobegsthehorsestohurry.Fairenough.ButJulietmentionsnotonly
Phoebus,theonly‘waggoner’whohadtherighttodrivethehorsesofthesun.Andthatotherpersonishis
sonPhaetonwhoseizedcontrolofhisfather’ssun-chariotonefatefuldawntheearthwillneverforget.
Foragainsthisfather’swishes,Phaetoninsistedonsteeringthesun-chariothimself.Buthewas
inexperienced,thehorsesbolted,tumbledfromthesky,andthefireballscorchedvasttractsoftheplanet.
Phaetonhimselfwaskilledandtheecologicalcatastropheburnedforestsintodeserts,whichwouldnever
againbearfruit.ItishighlyunlikelythatJulietrememberseverynuanceandresonanceofherimage
beforesheuttersit.Ittumblesoutasaslip.Fornotonlyhasthechariotcareeredoutofcontrol,soalso
hasJuliet’simage.Bychancesheconjuresanotherdisobeyingchildwhowasdestroyedbyrashness.
‘Butwhysaythisnowexactly?’isoftenashrewdquestion.WhydoesJulietmentionPhaetonnow?
Hischaotic,accidentalsuicideimpliesthatsomewhereJulietsuspectshernightoflovewithRomeois
still‘toorash,toounadvis’d,toosudden’.PerhapsJulietknowssheisalsocareeringhecticallytowards
chaos,deathandsterility.Andshewantsnottoseethesethings.Sheistiredofknowingandseeingthings
thathurtherhead.Shewantstoun-knowandun-see.JulietwantstosleepwithRomeoandtohellwiththe
consequences.
Juliet,likemanycharactersinShakespeare,talkstoomuchforherowngood.DashingPhaetonwas
supposedtocheerherupbut,asanimage,heturnedouttobeadisaster;anythingmoredepressingand
coincidentalforJulietthanPhaeton’sfieryfallwouldbehardtofind.Beforeherresolvecanweaken,
JulietdropsPhaetonfast,andturnstothatcosyaunt,Night.
Nightshouldbefarsafer;Nightissober-suitedandthoroughlyrespectable.Olderandwiser,Night
wouldn’tdoanythingimpulsiveanddestructive.Nightwouldn’tdoanythinghorrible,orwouldshe?
Nightwillkeepmyimaginationcalmandcoolandsafe,won’tshe?
Tobeginwith,Nightispleasantlyvague,or‘cloudy’.ButwhenNightarrivessheturnsupinamore
definitecolour–black.Julietmentionsthistwice.SowhoisNightmourning?Juliettriestolightenthe
unfortunatereferenceandbringinshining,livingRomeo:
‘Comenight,comeRomeo,comethoudayinnight,
Forthouwiltlieuponthewingsofnight
Whiterthannewsnowuponaraven’sback.’
RomeosprawlsonthewingsofNight,notaswarmfleshbutasrefrigeratedsnow.IfRomeoiswhite,
heisnaked.IfRomeoiswhite,heisacorpse.Sexdoesn’tcomealone;Deathturnsuptoo,andmakesa
grimthreesomebetweenthesheets.EvenMatronNighthasmetamorphosed;nowshebeatsaroundasthe
raven,theharbingerofevil,whowillcroakhimselfhoarseforLadyMacbeth.
Julietmayappeartohavetimetokill,butTimetakesitsrevenge.TimeisincontrolandnotJuliet.
HowevermuchtimeJulietmayhavetokill,highstakesalwayschasetheimagination.Julietmaythinkshe
isdigginguponeimageafteranothertofilltheboringhours.Butthemoretimeshehastothink,themore
sheunderstandsthedangerofhersituationandthemoreherresolveweakens.Andthemoreherresolve
weakens,themoretimesheneedstostrengthenherresolve.Sherunsoutoftimetryingtofindnewimages
toplugherleakingself-confidence.
Imagesaretargets:theyliveindependentlyofus.Soallimages,fromdazzlingPhaeton,todowdyNightin
mourningblack,takeonalifeoftheirown.Likeitornot,Juliethastodealwiththeambivalenceofthe
imagesshehasreleased.Aretheyonhersideornot?JulietthoughtshecouldcontrolthePhaetonimage.
However,therememberedimagedidnotcomealone.ThePhaetonstory,likeallstories,isambivalent.It
canmeanmanythings.Theimagesoncereleasedareindependent,likewordsweregrethavingused.
Here,howevermuchJulietstressesherlongingforsex,loveandlife,herimagesalsoimplychaos,
destructionanddeath.
Descriptionneverhappens
‘Comegentlenight,comelovingblack-brow’dnight’
‘Gentle’,‘loving’and‘black-brow’d’arealldescriptions.Butausefulprinciplefortheactoristhatthere
isnosuchthingasadescription.Puredescriptionsimplydoesn’texist.Whatmayclaimtobeapassive
descriptionisinfactalwaysanactiveattempttochangeaperception.SoJulietappearstobedescribing
howNightis.Nighthasthreequalities,Julietasserts.Nightisgentle,lovingandblack-browed.Sohow
canthesebeanattempttochangeaperception?Asalways,Irinaneedstofindatarget.Presumably,Night
herself.SowhatchangeisJuliettryingtomakeinNight?Isshesaying:‘Iknowyouareblack-browed,
butcanyoualsotrytobegentleandlovingtoo,please?’ForJulietisnotatallsurehowNightwill
behave.WhatisatstakeforJuliet,then,mustbeeitherthatNightwillbegentleorthatNightwillbe
ferocious...thatNightwillbeloving...orthereverse.WhatcouldNightbeabouttosayordothatshe
needstobeappeasedandpropitiatedasbeinggentleandloving?
ThenJulietmakesaslipinpleading:
‘GivememyRomeo;andwhenIshalldie
Takehimandcuthimoutinlittlestars’
Itwouldhavemademoresensetosay‘WhenIdie,takemeandcutmeout’,or‘Whenhediestake
himandcuthimout’,butJulietisconfusedbetweenwheresheendsandwhereRomeobegins.Shesays:
‘WhenIdie,takehimandcuthimout.’Hewillmetamorphoseonherdeath,whichbreakstherhythmof
theOvidstoriessheknowssowell.Julietcan’tquitelockdeathoutoftonight’sfestivities.Shewants
Romeotocomenotonlytomakelovetohimbutalsotodistractherfromcomplex,darkeningthoughts.If
hedoesn’tcomesoontheywillengulfher.Shefightsherownimaginingsbyarguingthatsheonlywants
onesimplething:toconsummateherloveforRomeo.Juliettriestosimplifythesituation,toblindherself
totheambivalenceofwhatisreallyhappening.
‘...thoughIamsold,
Notyetenjoy’d.Sotediousisthisday
Asisthenightbeforesomefestival
Toanimpatientchildthathathnewrobes
Andmaynotwearthem.’
Thebravadoofherdesiredoesnotquitematchthetenderandnostalgicimageofthechild.Perhaps
Julietalsosees‘thefutureintheinstant’andalreadyregretsthepassingofherinnocence.Sheis
fourteenandimpatientfornewandadultclothes.SinisteroldNightcreepsoncemoreintoherimagery
andshowsherawide-awakechild,aloneinthedark,unabletosleep.
Juliettalksaboutthestakes
‘...learnmehowtoloseawinningmatch
Play’dforapairofstainlessmaidenhoods.’
The‘winningmatch’directlyreferstothestakes.Notjustonemaidenhood,buttwo,herownand
Romeo’s(isherassumptionaboutRomeoarareattackofnaïveté?).Sotheprize,thebestpossible
outcome,isthatsomeonewillwintwo‘stainless’virginities.Butifthereissomuchtobewon,whatthen
couldbelost?Juliet,wenotice,onlymentionswhatistobewon.Winningistheonlypossibility.So
althoughitisamatch,losingisimpossible,becausesheimpliesthatshewantstolose.SoforJulietto
losehervirginityisalsotowin?Sheistryingtodosomethingina‘one’.Julietthinksshecanonlyplaya
matchthatwins.Buttherearenowin/winsituations.Theothersidethattheactorknowsverywell,the
‘ornot’,iscutout.WhatshestandstoloseisquicklyslammedinthedarkwithPhaeton.Julietargues
withalltheconfidenceofadoubter.
Shemayhavebegunthespeechbeggingthehorsesto‘gallopapace’asifresolvedandboredwith
waiting,butthisisnotallshefeelsandseesandneeds.
Julietisnotonlypassingthetime,prayingforRomeotogettheresoon.Timeisbreedingdreadful
pictures.Julietmustruntooutstripandreinineachofthesesubversiveimagesbeforetheyescape.And
Julietdoesnothaveenoughtimetoscoopthemallup.Julietneedsmoretime.
Shakespeare’sbrilliantwordsmakeitclearthatTimeincitesJuliet’sthoughtstomutinyandescapeand
shehastoracetocatchthemandlockthemup.OfcourseJulietdoeswanttomakelovetoRomeo,butit
isequallytruethatshedoesnot.Julietmayonlyspeakofherdesire,butherfearisalsoimplicit.
Adreadfulrewrite
ButwhatwouldhappenifIrinadidnothavethebrilliantmatrixofShakespeare’simagerytoleadherto
thehiddensideofJuliet?WhatifIrinawereactinginarewrittenversionofShakespeare’splaywithall
thedarknesscensored?IrinawouldstillbeabletoguesstheexistenceofJuliet’shiddenfeelings.Evenif
thescriptwererewrittenandpoorIrinahadtosay
‘Iwanttosleepwithhim.Iwanttosleepwithhim.
Iwanttosleepwithhim.Iwanttosleepwithhim’,
Irinacouldstillinfertheopposingside.Forthemorewestresssomething,themoreweimplyitscoexistingopposite.Eventhisbanaltextmustbeareaction.Itmustimplysomewherethatalso:‘Idon’t
wanttosleepwithhim.Idon’twanttosleepwithhim.Idon’twanttosleepwithhim.’
Julietwantsopposites.AsZerlinasingstoDonGiovanni:‘Vorreienonvorrei!’or‘Iwantto,and
don’twantto!’ConflictingemotionstearJuliet;shedoesnotfeelonlyonethingatonce.
Adigression:Timeandchange
JulietisneversatisfiedwithTime.Sometimesshethinksshewantsittospeedup...‘Gallopapace...’
sometimesshewantsittostop...‘Wiltthoubegone?Itisnotyetnearday.Itwasthenightingaleand
notthelark...’ItisusefulforIrinathatTimeneverseemstobeJuliet’sfriend.ButIrinaneedstosee
thatifshedoesnotobeyTime,IrinatoowillbecomeTime’svictim.Irinaacknowledgesthemasteryof
TimebyrefusingtoletFearescorthertothepastandfuture.Juliet’sFear,ontheotherhand,oftendrags
herinboththesedirections.
Timeistheactor’sfriendbutthecharacter’senemy;itisaswelltoacceptthiseveninthebriefest
rehearsal.Thepresentshakesusawake.Whenaroadaccidentsummonsusintopresence,timeappearsto
slowdown.Butwhendepressiontightensitsgrip,Timeseemstostandstill.Timedies.Thisisonlya
delusion;Timecannotstop.Forus,timewillneverdie.
IrinaneedstomakefriendswithTime.Timeisanimmensewavethatcanbesurfed,orignoredatperil.
ThemorewecanacceptthemasteryofTimeandresolvetoliveexclusivelyinthepresent,thelesswe
blockourselves.However,themorewedeclareourindependenceofTimeandshelterinthepastorthe
future,themorewebecomeblocked.Andweremainfrozenuntilthemomentwedecidetoobeythe
commandofTimeandadmitthatweonlyexistinthenow.
21
THREEMOREUNCOMFORTABLECHOICES
ThereremainthreemoreuncomfortablechoicesforIrina.
Thefifthuncomfortablechoice:
creativityorcuriosity
Renouncingcreativityseemsheresytotheartist.However,tryingtobecreativeisdisastrous.Being
consciouslycreativeiscloselyrelatedtoconcentrating.Curiosityismoreliberating;curiosityis
connectedtoattentionandthetarget.Tryingtobecreativehasanastyhabitofsendingushome.
Ofcourseallhumanbeingsarecreative,butourcreativityisasymptomandnotacause.Wedonot
controlourowncreativity,anymorethanwecancontrolourfeelings.Wecan,however,controlwhatwe
do.
Thesixthuncomfortablechoice:
originalityoruniqueness
Originalityisanotherqualitythatwebelievewecancontrol.However,originalityisnotacauseoflife;it
isonlyoneoflife’smanysymptoms.Inaway,ourcreativityandoriginalityarenoneofourbusiness.
Irinaisunique.Irinaisirreplaceable.NobodycanplayJulietlikeIrina,becausenobodycanseequite
likeIrina.WhenIrinaseesthroughJuliet’seyesitwillbeauniquepairofJuliet’seyes.Everyactorwho
playsJulietwillseethroughadifferentpairofeyes,becauseeachactorisadifferentanduniquehuman
being.Moreover,eachtimethatIrinaperformsherrole,soJulietwillalsobeslightlydifferent.Wecan
eachseeaninfinityofdifferentthings;andtheseinfinitiesareinfinitelydifferent.Onelookuponaclear
nightmakessuchnumbersseemlesspreposterous.
Ontheotherhand,ifIrinatriestocreateanoriginalJuliet,aJulietwhotriestobreakwithtradition,she
willblockherself.Tryingtocreatesomethingoriginalisdoomedtofailure.Forwheneverwetrytobe
original,weenduplookingexactlylikeeveryoneelsewhoistryingtobeoriginal.Weproduceworkthat
isborndeadanddecomposingthingslookincreasinglysimilar.
Wheneverwetrytobeoriginalitisevidencethatwehavelostconfidenceinouruniqueness.Wemay
fearouruniquenessmightnotbetherewhenweneedit,or,whatismoresinister,wefearthatwhatis
differentaboutusmayactuallybeinferior.Particularlywhenyoung,uniformitycanseemreassuring.But
uniformityisimpossible.Uniformityisonlyanideal,alwaysadangerousone.Butitshouldn’tfrightenus
toomuchasithasneveractuallyexisted.Likeattentionorpresence,uniquenessisgiventous,ithastobe
acceptedandisoutofourcontrol.Likeanythingelseoutofourcontrol,wesuspectuniquenesssimply
becauseitjustmightletusdown.Soweinventanimaginarysubstitute,asyntheticdummy,whichwillbe
ourpersonalcreature.Hellooriginality,goodbyeuniqueness.
IfIrinaseeshertargetsspecifically,openly,andacceptsthatwhateversheseeshasapotentialtogo
wellorbadly,thenshewillrevealaJulietwhoisutterlyunique.However,ifIrinadecidestocreatean
originalJuliet,shewillcreatesomethingthatcannotbreathe;and,assaidbefore,alldeadthingsstartto
lookthesame.Trueconformitystartsonlywhenwerot.
Consequently,anypressureputonIrinatocreatesomething‘new’iscatastrophic.Themorewestrive
tobeoriginal,themoreweobliterateourinherentuniqueness.Themorewetrytobe‘new’,themore
repetitiveandreactionarywebecome.Wearenew.Wecannotbeotherwise.Wehavenobusinesstrying
tobeanything.Wecanbenothingatallbyaneffortofwill.Creationrenewsusandoursurroundings
everysecondofeverydaywhetherwelikeitornot.Newnesshappenstouswithoutourpermission.
Althoughweareoutofcontrol,weliketogiveourselvestheillusionofcontrol;andsoweattempttoape
creation.Wealsoaregoingtomakethingsnew.Ourvanityisnotbornofarrogance,butoffear.
Ihaveseenitallbefore
IfIrinahears‘Ihaveseenitallbefore!’,sheshouldconsiderlessthecriticism,andmorethecritic.‘I
haveseenitallbefore!’exposestheobserver,nottheobserved.Whenthe‘I’nolongerseeswell,
everythingdoesindeedendupseeminguniform.Sometimeseverythingelsedoesstarttolookalike,butit
isnotthefaultofeverythingelse.Themorewedieinside,themoreweseedeathoutside;anddeath,the
specific-hater,alwayshomogenises.
Theproblemdoesnotlieintheoutsideworld,whichcouldneverachievehomogeneityevenifit
wantedto.Theproblemliesinourcontrol,inwhatwewillandwillnotletourselvessee.Ifeverwestart
tofeelthatwehave‘seenitallbefore’weshouldtrytosneakupandcatchourselvesunawares.Thenwe
willseethattheproblemisnotintheoutsideworld,butoriginatesfrominsideourselves;wearelosing
ourcuriosity.Lackofcuriosityisasymptomofasecretsuicide;theonlyforensicevidenceisnotan
emptypill-bottle,butapersistentdrivetofindsomethingnew.
Everythingthatlivesisalwaysnew.Humanbeingsdependonthatnewness.Weareanintrinsicand
irreplaceablepartofendlesslyrenewingcreation.Thenewalreadyis,wecannotcreateit.
IfIrinafeelsshehastoserveupsomethingnewtothedirectorortotheaudienceortohercolleagues
ortoherself,thenshewillmanufactureadeadperformance.Ironically,thisstill-bornperformancewill
seemstrangelyfamiliartoeveryone,includingIrina.IfIrinaseesthroughJuliet’seyeswhatJulietmust
see,thenIrina’sownconcealablebutindestructibleuniquenesswillilluminateeverycornerofher
performance.WhateverIrinaseesisnew.WhateverIrinatriestomakenewisasoldasdeathitself.
Theseventhuncomfortablechoice:
excitementorlife
IfIrinapanicsthatherperformanceisdead,thenshemustgobacktothetarget.Thetargetisthesourceof
allherenergy.ItisfatalifIrinatriestoexciteherselfintolife.
Wehaveimaginationstoconnectuswiththeoutsideworld.Whenwefearourdependenceon
unpredictablecreation,weuseexcitementtoimpersonatelife.Lifehappens,andwearepartofit.Life
happenstouswhenitwantsto.However,wedonotlikelifeasmuchaswesuppose,becauseitcould
dropusatanymoment.Soagainweinventamoreobedientsubstitute.
Andwemanufactureexcitement.Excitementissomethingwecandotoourselves.Wecanprovidefor
ourselves.Wedon’tneedtodependonanyoneoranythingtogiveittous.Excitementisamedicinewe
prescribeforourselves.Sometimes,however,lifeisexciting.WhenIrinaseessomethingutterlyalivein
rehearsalorperformance,shewillflushwithlifeandtheeffectwillbethrilling.Butasweknow,ifshe
triestorevisitthatstatethenextday,itwillhavevanished.Becausewhathappenedwasneverastate,it
wasarelationship,adirection.Allstatesdie;andtheyrotfast.
IfIrinafeelsshehastomakeanexcitingchoice,shewillinvariablyblockherself.Thesearchforthe
newandexcitingseversourconnectiontolife.Thescrambleseemstobeabouttheoutsideworld,aswe
ripthroughexperience,frantictograbthatelusivehigh.However,thisscrambletriestofindintheoutside
worldwhatwefearwelackwithin.Thescrambleforthenewandexcitinghassecretlinkstothemafiaof
self-dislike.
Thistearthroughsensationproducesonestrangeeffect.Allatoncewestarttoresembleeveryoneelse
onthesamestampede;ouruniquenessgetstrampledbeneaththesightlesshooves.Wearedifferentand
uniqueinourenthusiasmsandgenerosities;butwealltoeastrictpartylinewhenwecomplainthat:‘I
haveseenitallbefore.’Thehuntfortheexcitingandthenewmakesreactionariesofusall.Seeingthings
islifeenough.
Adigression:spontaneity
Theperformancethatseemsunspontaneousseemsdead;eventheNohmastermustinsomewayseem
spontaneous.‘Spontaneous’,however,isnotthekeyword;thekeywordis‘seems’.Beingpresentmaybe
crucialfortheactor,buttoknowtotalpresencemaywellbeanunachievableideal.Presenceisoneofthe
manygiftswecanneithermanufacturenorearn.Pushkin’sSalieriragedthatMozarthaddonenothingto
earnhisgenius.Wecannotearnourgifts,butwecanlearnnottoslamthedoorintheirfaces.
‘Spontaneity’seemstobeconnectedtopresence:‘IfIampresent,Iwillreactinthemoment,andsoI
willbespontaneous’–andcertainly,whenblocked,Irinawillfeeldeeplyun-spontaneous.However,few
commandscurdlemorethan‘Bespontaneous!’–although‘Don’tbeself-conscious!’comesprettyclose.
ItmayreassureIrinatorememberthathoweverpresentwemaybe,nooneiseverentirelyconsciously
spontaneous.Insofarasareactionisconscious,itisn’tspontaneous.Truepresencemay,Godknows,have
occurredinahumanbeing;totalconsciousspontaneityneverhas.Thepsychopathrarelyspringsfromthe
docktostranglethejudge,andwhenhedoes,hemakesadecision.Onthewhole,humanbeingsdonot
losetheirtemperswiththosewhoarefarmorepowerful.Itisastonishinghowwecanspontaneouslyyell
atsomeonewhoissmallandontheothersideofawindscreen,andmiraculoushowspontaneouslywe
losethatspontaneitywhenallsevenfeetofthatsomeoneswingsopenthecardoor.Wheneverabully
crumbles,his‘spontaneous’wildnessfreezesinstantlyintoahighlytrainedandvigilantcircumspection.It
isamazingwhatsophisticationofcontrolwecansuddenlydevelop.
Butwhatdoeshappenwhenweloseourtempers?Anunpopularassertionthattheactorcanuseisthat
wealwaysdecidewhenweloseourtempers.Thismayseemtocontradictallthathasbeensaidaboutthe
target:‘Idon’tdecideanything,itisthetargetthatmakesmedoit.’However,theexpression‘losingmy
temper’needssomeunpickingfirst.‘Temper’isfairlystraightforward,meaningbalanceofmood.We
havelittleornocontroloverhowangrywemaysuddenlybecome,butwealwaysdecidewhatwedo,
withintheconstraintsofthegivencircumstances.‘Losingtemper’impliesloss,lossofcontrol.Tolose
somethingalwayshasanactiveelement.
Activeloss
Evenwhenlossisusedintermsofgrief,thereisanactiveelement.Toloseafriend,whosuddenlydies,
seemsentirelyinactive.‘Ididn’twanthimtodie.’Butweneedtoseethisloss,orweliveindenial.
Seeingisactive(asisdenial).Griefandmourningdemandrecognitionofloss,alettinggo,andthispart
isactive.Wemustdosomethingtobidfarewell.
Eventhemosthot-headedtakeananosecondbetweenhearingtheinsultandthrowingthepunch.
Suspectsonlyresistarrestiftheyfeeltheyhaveachanceofescape.Whenweseeonemanstrugglingin
themiddleoftenpolice,itisrarelybecauseheisoptimistic;normallyheisdefendinghimselffrombeing
hurt.
Wetendnottoresistagainsttheodds,andalwayschoosethebattleswefight.Isthereanexceptionwith
someonewhoisself-destructiveandarguesandfightswitheveryone,thebraggartwho,asmyfather
wouldhavequipped,hashisownprivategraveyard?Butsuchapersonsomewhere,sometime,willhave
negotiatedaninternaldealwithhimselftobealwaysarguingandtherebyaloneand,so,atleastundisappointed.Heisstillgettingwhathethinkshewants.Forallhisfury,heisstillcalculating.
Calculation
Calculationmaybeunattractive,buteverybodycalculates.Thebaby’scalculationforfoodorattention
delightsandamazestheyoungparent.Weinventconceptsofinnocence,wildnessandspontaneitybecause
plottingshamesus.Wejustdon’tlikeitthat‘consciencedothmakecowardsofusall’.
Itissoberingtorememberthatdisplaysofuncontrolledandspontaneoustemperamentnormallyconceal
ultra-control.Anactorfamousforcocainebingesandassortedmadcapwildnesseswasdiscoveredlateat
nightonstage,measuringthedistancefromashtraytocigaretteboxwitharuler.
Spontaneitydoesnotquitehappeninthewayitclaims.WhatdoeshappenwhenIlosemytemper?Isee
somethingthatenragesme,andIdecidewhattodo.Theprocessmayhappenatsuchspeedthatitis
barelyconscious.Imightdecidetolickmywoundsorkickthecat;inshortIdecidewhetherornottolose
mytemper.Imaydecideunconsciouslyandinasplitsecondtolashout‘spontaneously’andsodthe
consequences.Imayfeeltheadrenalinoffurypumpmytemples,butunconsciouslyandatlightningspeed
Iwilldecideandcontrolwhetherornottousethat‘out-of-control’energy.
Itisanotethatsomeactorshavefounduseful,ifinexplicable,that:‘Youseesomething,andthenyou
dosomethingelse.’Ofcourse,thatsomethingelsehastobeseenaswell!
Wedonotdowhatwesee.Weseesomethingandthenwedosomethingasaresultofwhatwesee.Every
thought,ofcourse,isatarget.Everythoughtisanewthingseen.
Adigression:aestheticsandanaesthetics
Weuseanaestheticstotakeawaypain.Andinparttheywork;theytakeawayoursensationofpain.But
anaestheticsdonotremovethecauseofpain,andpainisimportantbecauseittellsussomethingiswrong.
Iffiredidn’thurt,manyofuswouldhavenofingersandwouldnotthankwhoeverhadpaintedourtiny
handswithpainkiller.Theanaestheticcannotremovethedangeroffire,merelythemostusefulsymptom
ofaburn.
Civilisationexcelsatmanufacturinganaesthetics.However,thecausesofpainhavenotfundamentally
changedsincewebecameaspecies;wefallill,wegetlonely,wefeelhungry,wefeelcold,wefeelsad,
wefeelunwanted,wefeelunloved,wefeelabandoned,wefeelignored,wefeelinsignificant,andthough
wemustdie,wedon’twantto.
Iftheluxuriesofmodernlifefailtoinsulateuswecanstillavoidunwantedsensationsbytampering
withthewiring.Weredirecttheimaginationsothatinsteadofconnectingustorealitytheimagination
actuallyseversusfromtherealworld.Theimaginationdegradesintothefantasyandonlyensuresthatwe
nolongerrecognisethepainthatweare,infact,feeling.
ThewordaestheticcomesfromtheGreekrootmeaning‘thingsasweseethem’,inotherwords,
‘targets’.Anaestheticcanthereforebeconstruedas:‘withouttargets’.Wedevotealotoftimeandmoney
toreassuringourselveswithanaestheticsofeverysort.Indeedoneofthemainreasonswegotothe
theatreistowitnesscharactersandsituationsinwhichtheanaestheticdoesnotworksowell.Oneofthe
similaritiesbetweenTragedyandComedyisthatbothrevealtheanaestheticwearingoff.
Civilisationalwaysseekscontrolofourperceptions,andliketherestofus,Irinaisanaesthetisedtoa
greaterorlesserdegreefortherestofherlife.ButthecharactersthatIrinaplaysmayseealotmorethan
wedo.WedesperatelyneedIrinatosee,howeverbriefly,amorerealworld,wherejoyandpainarefelt
forwhattheyare.
POSTSCRIPT
Whenwemaketheatrewetellstories.Eachtimewetellastoryitisdifferent;theancientmythchanges
eachtimewehearit.Evenifwesticktopreciselythesamewordsandintonations,likeanIrishbardwith
hisharp,eachretellingunfoldsthehighdeedswithslightdifferences.Thestorychangesbecausethe
tellersandhearerschange;Timechanges.Itisonethingtotellastory,anothertodefinewhatthestory
means.Whenwetrytocontrolallthemeaningsofastory,weinvariablyfail.Anadvertisementonbehalf
ofapoliticiancanconvinceusnottovoteforhisweaksmile.Manipulationcanreverseitsdesiredeffect.
Artneverquitedoesasit’stold.StPeter’swaspresumablyintendedtobraytheconfidenceofthe
counter-reformation,buttheRomanbasilicaalsodoestheexactopposite.Themoretheedificetrumpets
itsstrengthofwill,themoreitalsowhimpersinsecurityanddoubt.Everythingwemakeisambivalent.
Weobscurethisambivalencewithsentimentality.
Totreatsomethingsentimentallyistoclaimithasonlyonemeaning.Sentimentalitytriestodividethe
goodguysfromthebadguys,andwipeupthemessyambivalenceoflife.Seekingcertainty,weshun
ambiguity;andthatispreciselywhenwebecomesentimental.AViennesewaltzinsiststhatlifeis
carefree,butrememberingthehistoricalcontext,thosehecticstringscanseemsinister.
Aship
Makinglistsofwhatthecharacterwantsmaygiveprovisionalstructureintheearlydaysofrehearsal,but
thesestructureswillblockusifwedon’tditchthemintime.Ithelpstoseetheseearlyrehearsalstructures
asthescaffoldingusedinshipyards.Atthebeginningthereisanideaofaship;thenthescaffoldingseems
biggerthantheidea.Soontinymenwithhammersbangawaywithintheimmensecradle.Boltsandsheets
arehungonthestructureuntiltheyfindtheirownconnections.Winchesandpulleysswingfromthecradle
andcarpentersclamberupanddown.Slowlygirdersandcablesandpanelsjointogetherandthecradle
swellswiththevessel.Butthetimewillcomewhenthestructureofscaffoldingmustfallawaytoletthe
shipslideintothewaitingsea.
Thestoryandfreedom
Atthebeginningofrehearsalwemayanalysetheplotanditsmeaning.Agreeingthestorywewanttotell
mayprovideabeginning,butultimatelywewillnottellstorieswelluntilwearepreparedtoletthemrun
free.Thewisestorytellerknowsthatthestorywillhavemanydifferentmeaningstodifferentpeopleat
differenttimes.Experiencedstorytellersintuitthismystery:notonlyaretheytellingthestory,thestoryis
alsotellingthem.Thestorycreatesthestoryteller;justaswheneverwethinkweusealie,thelieendsup
usingus.
Thewiseactorlearnsnottotrytocontrolwhattheaudiencesees.Thetargetneedstobediscovered
andseen,thatisall.Thetargetgeneratestheimpulsetoact.Whattheactorplaysspringsfromseeingthe
targetandnotfromthecharacter’sinnerwill.Theshapeofthesceneislivingandmobile,itsformis
determinedbytheshiftingnatureofthetargets.Thewindandseasculptthesand;thebeachdoesnot
shapeitselfalone.
Thetargetandthesource
Whatweseegoesdeeperthanwemaythink.Approachinganormalstaircase,ourlegandfeetmuscles
preparetogoup.Butifweseeanescalatorweinstructthesemusclestorestasweglideuppastthe
adverts.However,abrokenescalatorisinteresting.Wemayremarktoourfeet:‘Thisisanescalator.It
doesnotworkatthemomentasanescalator.Sowewilluseitasanordinaryimmobilestaircase.’But
aswestepontheridgedmetal,ourlegsstillgiveasmall,butperceptible,jerk.Weknewclearlynotto
expectamovingstairway.Wewereperfectlyclearwithourfeet,andtheyhavedonesomethingthatwe
toldthemnotto.
Itwasmaintainedearlierthatthebabyisbornnotonlywithananticipationofparentsandlanguage,but
alsowithananticipationofperformance.Itis,however,exceptionallyunlikelythatababymightbeborn
withtheexpectationofanescalator.
Presumablywhathappensisthis.Overtheyearstheeyeshavebeencommunicatingdirectlytoan
unconsciouspartofthebrain,i.e.thepartwhichcontrolslearntreflexes.Thispartofthebrainhaslearnt
thatthoseridgedstepswiththejaggededgemovebythemselvesandthatthefeetmustreadjustotherwise
wewillfallover.Pavlovexploredtheseconditionedreflexes,almostspontaneousreactionsthatare
learned.IthelpsIrinatoknowthatthesensescancompletelybypasstheconsciousmind.This
unconsciouslearningiswhatmotorstheinvisiblework.Thetargetcandomoretousthanweknow.
Wecannotequipthecharacterswithasubconscious,butIrinacannourishherselfwiththeinvisible
work.Shecanprepareherselfsothatinperformancetheimagessheseesarenotsuperficialand
simplistic,butrichandambivalent.Althoughtheactorcanonlyactwhatisconscious,notallactingis
conscious.Thetargetistheonlyimpetusforwhatisplayedbothconsciouslyandunconsciously.
Seeingspecificallywhatisoutsidewillsendtheactordeeperintothecharacterthanthinkingwhatis
inside.
Theframe
Aworkofartissomethingwithaframearoundit.Aphotographerframesthings,butsodoesthetheatre.
Theapplauseisakindofframe;soisthespacewhereweseeaperformance.‘Thisiswhereweperform,
overtherewedon’tperform.’Thebabygurglingatthepillowfeelssafeonlywhenitlearnsthatthe
puttingdownofthepillowsignalstheendoftheshow.Thebabyneedsaframe.
Theworldweseeisalsolimited–bythearcofourvision.Rabbitscanseemorethanwecanintwo
dimensions,butlessinthree;nobodyseeseverything.Welearntoseebothlessandmorethanwhatreally
happensintheworld.Butmanyforcesshapewhatwesee.Forexample,theidentityhasnointentionof
lettingmererealitycontradictitstheories.Whenweseetheworldwecreateit;weneverseewhatreally
is.Everytimeweopenoureyeswehavemadeaworkofart.Thatisasnearthetruthasweget.
Oneofthereasonsthatbabiesmakeusfeelsotenderisthattheypayussomuchattention.Ababysees
ussopurelythatwefeelweexistthatbitmore.Butassoonasthebabystartstowonderhowititselfis
seen,thisomnivorouscuriosityisblunted.Laterinlifetheadultmayhavetoretracethesesteps.Forthe
actor,nothingmattersmorethanthisreversejourney.
Thebackwardspath
Onthisjourneypatienceisvital.However,wecannomorebepatientbyaneffortofwillthanwecan
trustorbepresentbytrying.Patienceisagrace,andwearewisenottobaritsvisits.Ofthegreatdoors
thatweslaminitsface,self-judgementisoneofthemightiest.Wecancontrolourself-judgement,butwe
cannotcontrolthefreecomingsandgoingsofpatience.Whentheanswercan’tbefoundtoday,wemay
feeldiscouragedandfailed.Itiseasiertopunishourselvesthantobepatientwithourselves.
However,theactor’sunendingquestremainstheretracingofthispathfrom‘HowamIseen?’to‘Whatdo
Isee?’
Guides
Companionsonthispatharetheuncomfortablechoices.
Concentrationorattention
Independenceorfreedom
Toshowortosee
Certaintyorfaith
Creativityorcuriosity
Originalityoruniqueness
Excitementorlife
However,ourvitality,ourcapacityandurgetomoveandbreathe,areguaranteedbythedoubleruleofthe
stakes:
Thereisalwayssomethingtobelostandsomethingtobewon.
Thethingtobewonmustbepreciselythesamesizeasthethingtobelost.
AndtheruleofTime:
Asthestakesincrease,Timedecreases.
Therulesofthetargetholdgoodifwethinkaboutthemwhensafeandholdontothemindanger.The
targetisthereforus.Wearenotthereforthetarget.Thetargethasindestructibleattributesthatare
strongerthanourmostviolentdoubts.Isolationisjustanothertheory.
irst:thereisalwaysatarget.
econd:thetargetexistsoutside,andatameasurabledistance.
hird:thetargetexistsbeforeyouneedit.
ourth:thetargetisalwaysspecific.
ifth:thetargetisalwaystransforming.
ixth:thetargetisalwaysactive.
ANOTEONTHEVERSE
ConflictingtheoriescantietheverseintoaGordianknot.However,actorshavefoundthefollowing
observationsuseful.
Theversefollowsthesamerulesasanyothertarget.First,theverseistherefortheactor.Theactoris
nottherefortheverse.Theversegivesitsenergytotheactor.Theactorisnotobligedtoacceptthisgift
butisfoolishtorefuseit.
Second,iftheverseandthesenseareinconflict,thentheactorisobligedtofollowthesense.The
actor,intheend,mustdoonlywhatmakessensetotheactor.
LetustakeJuliet’sspeech:
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface,
Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight.
FainwouldIdwellonform;fain,faindeny
WhatIhavespoke.Butfarewell,compliment.
Dostthouloveme?Iknowthouwiltsay“Ay”,
AndIwilltakethyword.Yet,ifthouswear’st,
Thoumaystprovefalse.Atlovers’perjuries,
Theysay,Jovelaughs.OgentleRomeo,
Ifthoudostlove,pronounceitfaithfully.
Or,ifthouthink’stIamtooquicklywon,
I’llfrownandbeperverseandsaytheenay,
Sothouwiltwoo;butelse,notfortheworld.
Intruth,fairMontague,Iamtoofond,
Andthereforethoumaystthinkmy’haviourlight,
Buttrustme,gentleman,I’llprovemoretrue
Thanthosethathavemorecunningtobestrange.
Ishouldhavebeenmorestrange,Imustconfess,
Butthatthouoverheard’st,ereIwasware,
Mytrue-lovepassion;thereforepardonme,
Andnotimputethisyieldingtolightlove
Whichthedarknighthathsodiscovered.’
Firsttendencyoftheverse:
thelineyearnstoberegular
Thelineiscalledtheiambicpentameter.Thisimpressiveexpressionhelpsonlyifwedismantleitand
examineitsparts.
Iambicreferstotheiamb,thenameforthebasicbeatoftheline,sometimesknownasa‘foot’.The
stressesofaniambgoweak/strong,asinthewords:
today,goodbye,farewell,hello,goodnight,Macbeth,obey,renown,pronounce,perverse,impute,
redeem,endorse,believe,confirm,protect,expect,surviveandsalute.
Eachofthesewordsiscomposedofaniamb,weak/strong.
ItisanexcellentexerciseforIrinatomakeupherownregularblankverse–itisaloteasierthanit
sounds.Startingwithsinglewordsasaboveandbuildingtosinglelines:
‘Iwonderwhatthetimeis?AmIlate?’
‘I’dlikeaticketforthematchtonight.’
‘Ithinkit’sraining.DidIbringacoat?’
‘IhaterehearsingwhenI’vegotacold.’
Asinthemessageexercises,thisisbestplayedinpairsorgroups,alternatinglines:
‘I’dliketospeakinversewithyoutoday.’
‘Iheartheyspokelikethisalldayatcourt.’
‘Ihardlythinkthat’strue,that’sjustamyth.’
‘I’dlikeacupoftea–Itakeitblack.’
Andfinallyintoconversations:
‘Acigarette?Nothanks,I’mgivingup.’
‘Ohwell,perhapsjustone,ithelpsmethink.’
Theverseexerciseissurprisinglyeasy;Englishnaturallyfallsintothispattern.
LetustakeJuliet’sfirstlineinthespeech:
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface’
Irinacouldstressasfollows:
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface’
i.e.Onlyyou,Romeo,knowthatthemaskofnightisonmyfaceandnowhereelseonmybody.
Inwhichcase,thereareasmanyaseightweakbeatsinthelineandonlytwostrongbeats;theonly
iambis‘myface’.
Thelinecouldmeanthis,butIrinahasmanychoices.Shecouldgiveseveraldifferentmeaningstothe
linebystressingasfollows:
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface’
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface’
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface’
ButthequestionforIrinaisthis:canshemakethelastreading,whichisregular,workforher?Inother
words,doesthisfinalversionofthestressesmakesense?Canthatfinal‘on’takeastress?
IfIrinacansensiblystresstheline:
‘Weakstrongweakstrongweakstrongweakstrongweakstrong’
thenthatiswhatIrinashoulddo.Oneoftheexcellentsideeffectsofverseisthatitforcesustoconsider
howmanychoiceswehave.Whenweseealine,wehaveseveralpossibilitiesofinflection.
Ifallthingsareequalandyoucanmakegoodsenseofthemeaningwiththeregularstresspattern,thenuse
it.
Jazz
Verseworksalittlelikejazz.Injazzthereisasenseofwhatisregular,say4/4time;thenthisisthebeat
thatis‘square’.Jazzisnotasindependentofbeatasitsometimessounds.Jazzmusiciansknowthey
dependonahighlydisciplinedbeatthattheycanthendisobey.Andthisdisobediencereleasesenergy.
Verseworksinasimilarway.Versecreatesanexpectationofabeat.Tee-tum,tee-tum,tee-tum,etc.,
andsuddenly,ifwemeetnotatee-tum,butatee-teeoratum-teeoratum-tum,wereact;ouranticipation
hasbeendenied.Wehavepredictedsomething,howeverunconsciously,likethemovingescalator,and
whenitdoesn’thappenasexpected,wegetajolt.Inversethisjoltseemstobeaboltoutoftheblue,ahit
ofexternalenergy.Aswehaveseen,sourcesofexternalenergyarepreciousfortheactor.Versesupplies
areadysupplyofoutsideenergy.Verseisawindfallfortheactor.
Anticipationdenied
Versesetsupananticipationthattheactorcaneithersatisfyordeny.Ifanticipationiscontinuallydenied,
thenallanticipationgetslost.Thatisoneofthereasonswhythelineyearnstoberegular.Toomany
irregularlineswoulddismantletheverseintoprose.
Ofcourse,Irina’schoiceswillchangethemoreIrinadevelopsinherwork.Atthebeginningof
rehearsalsshemayfeelalinecannotberegularandlateronintherunfeelthatperhapsitcan,afterall,
andgiveitatry;andviceversa.
Itisamatterofnegotiationbetweentheactorandtheverse.Thelinealwayswantstoberegular.
Sometimestheactorwillagreewiththeverse.Sometimestheactorwillhotlydisagreeandbreakthe
regulariambicrhythm.Moreoftenalinecouldjustaboutmanagetobesaidregularly,andtheactorwill
havetodecidewhethertogiveintotheverseornot.Eachlinepresentsitsownspecialopportunities.
Thelawisthere,buteachcaseshouldbedecidedonthefacts.
Thepentameter
Thesecondtendencyderivesfromthesecondwordiniambicpentameter.Aswehaveseen,theiamb
referstothebasicbeat.Iambisanameforaunitcalledafoot.PentameterisderivedfromtheGreek
wordforfive.Therearefivefeetineachline.Ideallyeachfootintheiambicpentameterisaniamb;
ideallytherearefiveiambsineachline.
Thelinewantstohavefiveneatiambsallofitsown.Thelinedoesnotwantfouriambs,orsixiambs.
No.Thelinewantsallfive,andonlyfive,iambs.Theversedoesnotalwaysgetwhatitwants;butit
nevergivesuptrying.
(Thouknow’st)(themask)(ofnight)(ison)(myface)
Fiveiambsandtheverseissatisfied.Itiseasytohearthefamiliarthroboftheiamb...tee-tum...
tee-tum.ButhowdoesIrinamarkthefactthatthereareonlyfiveiambsperline?Howdoestheaudience
hearthatafterthefifthiambthereisanewline?ShouldIrinaleaveapausetomakethiscleartothe
audience?Theactor,asweknow,shouldnevertrytomakeanythingcleartotheaudience.
Secondtendencyoftheverse:
thefirststressedsyllableofthelineyearnstobethemostimportantsyllableofthatline
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface’
Here‘know’st’wantstobemoreimportantthantheotherstressedsyllables:‘mask’,‘night’,‘on’and
‘face’.Irinamayfeelthatthewords‘mask’,‘night’and‘face’arefarmoreinterestingthanthebaldword
‘know’st’andmaywanttoputmoreenergyintothesemoreexcitingandglamorouswords.
Buttheactorshouldfirsttakecareoftheunassumingsyllablenearthebeginningoftheline,around
whichthesenseoftheentirelinerevolves.
Ofcourse,onlyinaregularlinewillthefirststressfallonthesecondsyllable.Ifthelineisirregular,
thefirststressedsyllablemightbethefirst,orthethirdoreventhefourthsyllable.Theruleremainsthat
whereverthefirststressfalls,thatsyllableaskstobeconsideredasfirstcandidatefortheline’smost
importantsyllable.Ofcoursethisaffectsthemeaning.
Thefirststressedsyllable
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface,
Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight.
FainwouldIdwellonform;fain,faindeny
WhatIhavespoke.Butfarewell,compliment.
Dostthouloveme?Iknowthouwiltsay“Ay”,
AndIwilltakethyword.Yet,ifthouswear’st,
Thoumaystprovefalse.Atlovers’perjuries,
Theysay,Jovelaughs.OgentleRomeo,
Ifthoudostlove,pronounceitfaithfully.
Or,ifthouthink’stIamtooquicklywon,
I’llfrownandbeperverseandsaytheenay,
Sothouwiltwoo;butelse,notfortheworld.
Intruth,fairMontague,Iamtoofond,
Andthereforethoumaystthinkmy’haviourlight,
Buttrustme,gentleman,I’llprovemoretrue
Thanthosethathavemorecunningtobestrange.
Ishouldhavebeenmorestrange,Imustconfess,
Butthatthouoverheard’st,ereIwasware,
Mytrue-lovepassion;thereforepardonme,
Andnotimputethisyieldingtolightlove
Whichthedarknighthathsodiscovered.’
Alllinereadingsarepersonal.Theaboveisaprovisionalchoiceofwherethefirststressedsyllable
mayfall.‘There-fore’remindsusthatwedonotmeanthefirststressedword.Thisisanimportant
distinction.Wearetalkingaboutthefirststressedsyllable.
Thelastlineofthespeechremindsusthatthefirststressedsyllabledoesnotnecessarilyfallonthe
secondsyllable.Hereitismarkedthethirdsyllable.However,therearegoodargumentsforthefirst
stressedsyllabletobethethirdsyllableinsomeoftheabovelines.
Readingeachofthelinesitwillbeseenthatthemeaningsubtlychangesifthefirststressedsyllable
becomesmoreimportantthananyofthewordsattheendoftheline.Itcaninvolvequiteanactof
renunciation.
Forexample,let’stakethesecondline:
‘Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek’
Herethefirststressedsyllableis‘would’.Butdoes‘would’reallymattermorethan‘bepaint’?
‘Bepaint’seemssomuchmoreinterestingthan‘would’.Surely‘bepaint’deservesmoreenergythan
‘would’?Theimaginationrunstothewonderfulwordstowardstheendofotherlines,as,forexample,
‘cunning’and‘strange’.SurelyIrinashouldspendmoretimeontheseintriguingwordsandlessonthe
boringadjective,‘those’,atthebeginningoftheirline?
Thechallengeisthis:ifIrinadwellsonthethrillingimagesattheendoftheline,shewilltendtoemote
onthosewords.Shewillpushherfeelingintoaframeforevertoolargeforitscontents.Spreading
feelingintoandontothebigwordsfixestheactorinthesameproblemswehavemetbefore.Theframe
mustalwaysbesmaller;thefeelingisalwaysbiggerthantheword.
Onthewhole,thebigwordsneedtobecontrolled;itisthefirststressedsyllablethatneedstobemade
work.Ifwerunthefirststressedsyllablestogetherwegetagoodimpressionofwhatthecharactersees
andwhatthecharacterthinksthatsheneedstodo.Inthisspeechwefind:
Know’st
Would
That
Would
I
Thou
I
Mayst
Say
Thou
If
Frown
Thou
Truth
There
Trust
Those
Should
That
True
Not
Dark
Wecanevenmakealmost-sentences:
‘Know’st,would!ThatwouldI!
Thou,Imaystsaythou,iffrownthou.
Truth,there!
Trustthose!
Shouldthattrue?
Notdark.’
WhatcanIrinahearinthesewords?
CluestowhatJulietsees?
Aworldthatmakesherneedtocontrolit?
ARomeothatmakesherneedtobelievehim?
otrusthim?
ARomeowhomJulietneedstobelieve?
Adarknesstobeused?
Adarknesstobefeared?
Adarknesstobeovercome?
Atruththatmustbeuncovered?
Atruththatmustbeprotectedbythedark?
Abalancebetweenhimandherthatmustbecreatedandmaintained?
ARomeothatmustbeloved?
ThiswordsequenceoffersaninsightintowhatJulietthinksshewants.Evenwithoutthere-punctuation
thesequencehasanimpressiveenergy.
Punctuationandbreathing
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface
Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight
FainwouldIdwellonformfainfaindeny
WhatIhavespokebutfarewellcompliment
DostthoulovemeIknowthouwiltsayAy
AndIwilltakethywordyetifthouswear’st
Thoumaystprovefalseatloversperjuries
TheysayJovelaughsOgentleRomeo
Ifthoudostlovepronounceitfaithfully
Orifthouthink’stIamtooquicklywon
I’llfrownandbeperverseandsaytheenay
Sothouwiltwoobutelsenotfortheworld
IntruthfairMontagueIamtoofond
Andthereforethoumaystthinkmy’haviourlight
ButtrustmegentlemanI’llprovemoretrue
Thanthosethathavemorecunningtobestrange
IshouldhavebeenmorestrangeImustconfess
Butthatthouoverheard’stereIwasware
Mytrue-lovepassionthereforepardonme
Andnotimputethisyieldingtolightlove
Whichthedarknighthathsodiscovered’
ItisalwaysusefultoremovethepunctuationfromShakespeareantext;itisextremelyunlikelythathe
supervisedtheprintingofanyofhisplaysandsowecannotknowforsurewhatheintended.Indeed,
differenteditionshaveconflictingversionsfromdifferenteditors.
Thereisanotherreasonforde-punctuating:ifwereadtheunpunctuatedtextaloudwerunoutofbreath
becausewearenolongertoldwhentostop.Thisisanadvantage.Modernpunctuationfollowsmodern
conventions.Itisamodernproseconventionthatwehavemanyshortthoughts.But,whateverthe
convention,wenaturallybreatheonthethought.Thedepthofthebreathwetakeisdictatedbythestakes.
Wedonothavetothinkaboutthisruleinreallife;itisareflex.Whenunderthreat,asecond’sdelay
couldmeanthedifferencebetweenlifeanddeath.
Inattemptingtoclarify,modernpunctuationmaydismantletheoriginalthought.IftheShakespearean
longthoughtisdeconstructed,itwillchangeorloseitsmeaning.
Awordofcaution
Weoftenpretendthatwewanttodocertainthingsweareinfactforcedtodo.Wemaydenythatwehave
nooption.Sowecaninventcountlessreasonswhythatlongthoughtshouldbechoppedintomanylittle
ones,tinybite-sizedthoughtlets.Allaidedandabettedbyaplethoraofmoderncommas.
ItisemphaticallynotaproblemthatShakespeareissocomplexyouneedadegreetounderstandit.His
thinkingisnotsomecerebralconundrumthatonlyacademicscanfathom.Themajordifficultyformodern
actorsapproachingShakespeareispractical:thelengthofthoughtdemandsfarmorebreaththantheactor
needsformostmoderntexts.Actorsmusttrainphysicallyforthelongthoughtsothattheymaybreathe
whentheywanttoandnotwhentheyhaveto.
ReadingthespeechunpunctuatedmaymakeIrinagetoutofbreath.Thisisausefullesson,forIrina
needstotryasmuchofthespeechasshecanwithoutbreathingin,becausesomethoughtsinShakespeare
areexceptionallylong.
However,breathingexercisesdodemandpatienceandendurance.Actorsoftenfeelhelplessorenraged
thefirsttimetheyrunoutofbreath.Thesefeelingsarealsopractical.Itisentirelyhelpfultofaceour
limitations.Ifweneverdareexploretherimofourcapacities,wecanneverexpandthem.
Irinaneedstopractiseslowexhaling.Therearemanyexercises.Onlythemostobviousistobreathein
deeplyandbreatheoutwhilecountingslowlyandaloud.Withpracticethenumberreachedcomfortably
canrise.Previousgenerationshavehadmuchtechnicaladvice.Myadviceisthatbreathing,evenifit
needsparticularcapacityandstaminaforShakespeare,mustalwaysbenatural.Theactorshouldnever
feelforcedtoretainbreath.Artificialtechniquescanblocktheactor.Thebodyknowsbetterhowto
breathethanwecanconsciouslyteach.Ifweneedmorebreath,thebodywillprovideuswiththemeans.
Weonlyneedtoprovidethebodywithenoughpractice.
Naturalreservesofbreath
Whenthestakessoar,ourlungsneverempty.Emptylungsreduceourcapacityforfightorflight.This
deep-breathreflexisbredinus.Bothbullsandrobinsinflatetheirchestswhenfrightenedorangry.Of
coursewecantakeinsmalltop-upbreathsthathappennaturallyandbyreflex.Butinthepresenceof
danger,weneverletourlungscompletelyempty.Whenthestakessoarwecouldnotpumpoutallour
breathevenifwewantedto;justaswecannotcommitsuicidebyholdingourbreath.Thereflexis
strongerthantheconsciouswill.
Shakespeareanversedemandsalotofbreath–thestakesarehighandthethoughtislong.Ifyouwanta
cartodrivecomfortablyatsixtymilesanhour,itoughttobeabletoreachahundredmilesanhour.The
carthatcanonlydosixtymilesanhourwillhaveproblemswithenduranceandpowerevenifitslimitis
neverbreached;thebreathingapparatusisthesame.
IrinawillbreathewhenJuliet’ssensedemandsit.Irinashouldnothavetothinkaboutwhentobreathe.
Irinawillbreathenaturallyonthethought.Herintakeofbreathwillfollowthesenseautomatically.But
IrinaneedstoseethatthespokenthoughtsofJulietareoftenlongerthantheyappeartoamodernreader.
ReadingandrereadingthetextaloudandwithoutpunctuationwillhelpIrinatoseehowlongsomeof
Juliet’sthoughtsmightbe.
Thelastwordsequence
Ifwelistthelastwords,theymakeanextraordinaryeffect.Unlikethefirststressedsyllablewearenow
talkingofwholewords.Thislastwordsequenceopensadoorontothevastnessoftheunconsciousmind.
Thisexerciseisinvaluablefortheinvisiblework.
Irinareadsthefinalwordsaloudandslowly:
face
cheek
tonight
deny
compliment
Ay
swear’st
perjuries
Romeo
faithfully
won
nay
world
fond
light
true
strange
confess
ware
me
love
discovered
Thesesequencesareoftenastonishing,andseemtogiveanirrationalandsubconsciousversionofthe
characterandeventhewholeplay.Itisreductivetodefine
whatthesequencemeans.Thephenomenonworksmysteriouslybydevelopingwhattheactorsees.This
juxtapositionwillmeansomethingpersonaltoIrinathatissubjective,indefinable,profound,andwill
enrichthetargetsthatsheseesthroughJuliet’seyes.
Ofcoursethisartificialsequencingmustbeforgottenforthevisiblework.Likeeveryothercomponent
oftheinvisiblework,theimpressionwilldecidewhenandhowitmakesitsinfluencefelt.
Theacceleration
Readingthetextaloud,Irinamaynoticethatsomethingstrangeoccursbetweenthelastwordandthe
followingfirststressedsyllable:
‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface
Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight
FainwouldIdwellonformfainfaindeny
WhatIhavespokebutfarewellcompliment
DostthoulovemeIknowthouwiltsayAy’
Thereisanoticeabletendencytoaccelerate.Thisdesiretoracetothefirststressedsyllableseemsto
comefromsomewhereelse.Theversehasawillofitsown.Sothereexistsaseeminglyindependenturge
togofastbetween‘face’and‘would’,between‘cheek’and‘that’,between‘tonight’and‘would’,
between‘deny’and‘I’andbetween‘compliment’and‘thou’,etc.
Thisaccelerationbetweenthelastwordandthefollowingfirststressedsyllableisthemajormeansby
whichthelineendingmakesitselffelt.Theactormaygowiththeacceleration,maydenyit,mayobeyit,
maydisobeyit,buttheactorcannotsimplyignoreit.
Otherexamples
Wecanlookattheeffectsofthelastwordandfirststressedsyllableexerciseonthethreespeecheswe
lookedatearlier.
‘HistRomeohistOforafalconersvoice
Tolurethistassel-gentlebackagain
Bondageishoarseandmaynotspeakaloud
ElsewouldItearthecavewhereEcholies
Andmakeherairytonguemorehoarsethanmine
WithrepetitionofmyRomeosname...
’TisalmostmorningIwouldhavetheegone
Andyetnofartherthanawantonsbird
Thatletsithopalittlefromhishand
Likeapoorprisonerinhistwistedgyves
Andwithasilkenthreadplucksitbackagain
Soloving-jealousofhisliberty...
SweetsowouldI
YetIshouldkilltheewithmuchcherishing
Goodnightgoodnightpartingissuchsweetsorrow
ThatIshallsaygoodnighttillitbemorrow’
Hereisalistofthepossiblefirststressedsyllables:
Hist
lure
Bond
would
make
rep
al
yet
lets
poor
with
lov
I
night
I
(Incidentally,Icanonlymakeoutfourstressesintheline:‘Likeapoorpris-onerinhistwist-edgyves’.
Werethelineregularitshouldhavefivestressesofcourse.Perhapsthefirst‘Like’couldtakeastress.
ThisdecisionhastobelefttoIrina;afterall,itisherimaginationalonethatcanmakethislineseemlike
theinevitableconsequenceofwhatshesees.)
Thissequenceofsyllablesisquitetelling.Thesefirststressedsyllablesimplyanurgencyoran
intensitythatmightgetoverlookedifIrinagetsdistractedbythemagnificenceofthelaterfinalwords.
PerhapsJulietfeelssheneedstotakeeventsintohercontrol,andnotleavethemtofateortoRomeo.Irina
cansensemanyconsciousactionsandtargetsinthissequencethataretoosubtletobedescribedinprose.
ThissequenceoffirststressedsyllablescangiveIrinasomeconstructiveideasforherinvisiblework.
Theunderpoem
Oncemore,Irinacanusethelastwordsequencetostimulateherimagination:
voice
again
aloud
lies
mine
name
gone
bird
hand
gyves
again
liberty
I
cherishing
sorrow
morrow
–anotherastonishingunderpoem:mysterious,rich,allusive,joyful,generous,frightening,epic,tender
andprophetic.ThisunderpoemislikeasecretmessagesentfromShakespeare’sunconsciousdirectto
Irina’s.AllIrinaneeddoispayattentiontothesequence,byreadingitaloudandslowlyandwithahead
asemptyaspossible.Thematrixleavesitsownmarkbyfeedingtheunconscious.
Thecaesura
Anothertechnicalaspectofverseistheimpressivelynamed‘caesura’.
Looselyspeaking,thecaesuraisabreakinthemiddleoftheline,andisoftenusedtomirrorantitheses.
Withopenattention,Irinawilldiscoverthesebreaksherself.Toomuchexpertadviceonthecaesuracan
confuse,andthereisnohardandfastruleonthecaesuraineachShakespeareanline.Somelineshaveno
caesuraatall.SomelinessplitnaturallyintomorethantwoandthebestwayforIrinatodevelopasense
ofthesebreaksisthroughpractice.
Themid-lineturn
Thereis,however,anexceptionandthatiswhenthereisanunavoidablecaesurabecauseShakespeare
hasputa‘turn’notonlyattheendofaline,butalsointhemiddle.
A‘turn’hereincludesnotonlyafullstop;itindicateswhereverthethoughthasamajorchangeof
direction;suchaplacemightbemarkedinmodernpunctuationalsowithanexclamationmark,aquestion
mark,adashorasemi-colon.Typicallytheseturnswouldbereservedtilltheendoftheline.
‘Turn’isamorehelpfulwordthanstop.‘Stop’impliesthattheenergystopsandstartsagain.Inaplay
theenergyneverstops.Theenergymaybetransmutedintoaseemingstillnessandsilence,butbeneaththe
tranquilsurface,theplaystormson.Asinarelayrace,thebatonofenergyisdeftlypassedfrom
performertoperformer;theenergychangesbutthebatonofenergyisneverdropped.Droppingthebaton
onlylosesarelayrace,butiftheinsecurepilotdecidestochecktheenginesmid-flight–andswitches
themofftotestthem,thentheresultwillbemoreserious.
Hereisaspeechwithsomeprovisionalmid-lineturnsmarked:
.‘Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface
.Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
.Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight
.FainwouldIdwellonformfainfaindeny
.WhatIhavespokeTURNbutfarewellcompliment
.DostthoulovemeTURNIknowthouwiltsayAy
.AndIwilltakethywordTURNyetifthouswear’st
.ThoumaystprovefalseTURNatloversperjuries
.TheysayJovelaughsTURNo’gentleRomeo
0.Ifthoudostlovepronounceitfaithfully
1.Orifthouthink’stIamtooquicklywon
2.I’llfrownandbeperverseandsaytheenay
3.SothouwiltwooTURNbutelsenotfortheworld
4.IntruthfairMontagueIamtoofond
5.Andthereforethoumaystthinkmy’haviourlight
6.ButtrustmegentlemanI’llprovemoretrue
7.Thanthosethathavethecunningtobestrange
8.IshouldhavebeenmorestrangeImustconfess
9.Butthatthouoverheard’stereIwasware
0.Mytrue-lovepassionTURNthereforepardonme
1.Andnotimputethisyieldingtolightlove
2.Whichthedarknighthathsodiscovered’
WhatdoesIrinaneedtodoatthesemid-lineturns?Irinawillnoticethatthemid-lineturndenotesan
unusuallyimportantchange;itisaredlight,anemergencywarning:‘Watchout–thisturnissharper
thanyouthink!’
Theturnandthetarget
Theturnisentirelydependentonthetarget.Wecannotforceourselvestoturnaroundinternally.Wecan
onlychangedirectionbecausethetargethaschanged.Itisthetargetthatchangesbeforewecanchange.
Weareforevertryingtokeepupwiththechangingtarget.
Fortheactor,themid-lineturnsignifiesamajorchangeoftarget.Itaskstheactortoseesomething
altogethernew.Abigchangeoftargetateachmid-lineturnwillencouragetheactortomakeaninteresting
choice.Somethingunexpectedjumpsinfrontofthecharacter’sgaze.Thisnewtargetcouldbemany
differentthings,butitshouldbesubstantiallydifferentfromwhatthecharactersawbefore.HowisIrina
supposedtoshowthismid-lineturn?
Well,itisnotforIrinatoshowanything.AllIrinacandoisexaminewhatJulietmightseethatis
startlinglynew.Forexample:
1.Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface
2.Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
3.Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight
4.FainwouldIdwellonformfainfaindeny
5.WhatIhavespokeTURNbutfarewellcompliment
6.DostthoulovemeTURNIknowthouwiltsayAy
Conceivablywecouldhaveputanotherturninline4,between‘form’and‘fain’;andalsowecould
haveomittedtheturninline5between‘spoke’and‘but’.
Thetargetispermanentlychanging,butsomeofthesechangesarebiggerthanothers.Julietimprovises
hertext.Risingstakesmakeithardertosticktoapre-writtentext.Whateverplanshemakes,vanishesand
emergestransformedateachwordsheutters.
However,thereisarguablyonlyonethoughtinlines1–3.Thisthoughtdoesnotexactlyfinishonthe
lastword:‘tonight’.Itishelpfulfortheactortorememberthatathoughtcanneverbecomplete.(Thisis
alsousefultorememberinallverseforms,particularlythose,liketheAlexandrine,whichappearto
package‘perfect’thoughts.)Ithelpsmorethatanewthoughtisbornbeforetheoldthoughthashadtimeto
die–allthoughtisaninterruption.
InJuliet’scasethenewthoughtstartsonline4with:‘Fainwould...’Forherfirststressedsyllable,
Irinahasachoice:either‘fain’or‘would’.Itwillbethatsyllablewhichgetsthatextrapressure,that
heavierleanwherethenewthoughtkicksintokillthepreviousthought.Thepreviousthoughtnevertrails
awayinitsdeaththroes.Thenewthoughtalwaysinterruptsbeforethepreviousthoughthashadtimeto
die.Theprecedingthoughtisalwayscutoffinitsvigour.Itisinfacttheveryfrictionbetweencompeting
thoughtsthatsparksthemotor.Ofcoursethesethoughtsareallborninthetarget.
Thenext‘turn’forIrina,however,possiblydoesnotoccurwithrelativecomfortattheendofaline,but
inthemiddle.
Whathappensbefore‘Butfarewellcompliment’?DoesJulietsteelherselfforthecomingdeclaration
oflove?Possibly.TheruleforIrinaisthatshehastointerrupt‘spoke’byseeingaradicallynewidea.
Thesameistrueforthenextline:‘DostthoulovemeTURNIknowthouwiltsay“Ay”’whereitis
likelyJulietwillwanttointerruptanyclaimsmadebyRomeo.PracticaladviceforIrinaistomakesure
shehasenoughbreathatthesecrisispointsnottohavetogulpinmore.Theactorshouldnotbeforcedto
breatheatthispoint;agulpneedsapauseandapausewon’thelphere.
TheChinesepictogramfortheword‘crisis’collidesthepictogramsfor‘danger’and‘opportunity’.
Thishelpsusunderstandthemid-lineturn.Thedangeristhattheactorwillbluntthischangebymarkingit
withapause.Theopportunityisfortheactortoseesomethingextraordinaryandmakearemarkablenew
choice.Themid-lineturnofferstheactoranopportunitytoseesomethingstartlingandnewinthe
spontaneousmoment.Themid-lineturninvitesIrinatosurpriseherself.Themid-lineturnofferstheactor
asafeframeworkinwhichtolosecontrol.
Seesomethingnew;theinvisibleworkandthetensionintheversewillprotectyou.
Adigression:acablecar
Theverseingeneralandthemid-lineturninparticularworkratherlikeacablecar.Wemayfeeldoubtas
weswayoverthejaggedrocks.Wemaytrynottobreatheandnottomoveandnottolookdown.Butitis
ashametomissthehurtlingvalleysandsoaringpeaks.Wewillenjoyourselvesmoreifwerememberthat
theengineershavedonetheinvisiblework.Wecanrelaxandrelyonthetensioninthecable.Alongits
lengththerearenosags,nodroopsand,aboveall,nogaps.
Ofcoursetheactorcanpause,aslongasthethoughtcontinuestochangeandthetargetsarenever
dropped;apauseismerelyexpensive.Butifapausedenotesthecompletionofathoughtorthedropping
ofthetarget,thenthecostisashighasiftherewereagapinthecable.
Adigression:infectiousdiseasesoftheline
Thelinethatcontinuallytrailsoffisexhaustingtosay–andhear.Butlinedroopisnotadisease;itisonly
asymptom.Thecauseisthattheactorfailstoseethetargetsattheendoftheline.Theoppositeproblem
tothisisthelinethatneverquitestarts,withmutteredsyllables,likeacarthatrevswithoutmoving;the
effectissimilartotheactordroppinghiscue.Thisiscausedwhentheactorhasnotfullycommittedtothe
targetatthebeginningoftheline.
Blindspotscanbecomehabits.Theactorcangetintotherhythmofblockingthetargetatcertain
repeatedmoments.Why?Becauseofanunconsciousdesiretohavearegularrestathome.Andit’snot
muchofajourneyifwekeepgoinghomeforarest.It’snotmuchofamatchifyoukeepkickingtheball
intotouch.Incidentally,anysprayed-ontrickstobamboozletheaudience,asforexample,imposingan
automaticupwardinflectionontheendofeveryline,destroyboththeactor’sbeliefandself-respect.
Besides,likeanystructure,safetydevicescanbedangerous.OncenetswerestrungacrossanAustralian
baytostopthesharkseatingtheswimmers.Butsharksaren’tstupid,anddozensnosedtheirwayin
throughholes.Theyfoundthemselvestrappedinsidethebay,andsoonbecameirritatedandratherhungry
...
Averseexercise
Irinamemorisesthespeechandwalksthelengthofasmallroom,orrunsacrossalargerhall.
AsIrinamovesshekeepsthewordsflowingoutloudandtouchesthewallonthelastword,andonly
onthelastword,ofeachline.Hertouchonthewallmustlastfortheentiretyofeachlastwordandonly
duringeachlastword.ThenIrinaturnsandpointswithherarmandfingeroutstretchedtowardsthe
oppositewallonthefirststressedsyllableofthefollowingline.Theintentionofherpointmustbeto
pierceandchangethatapproachingwall.Irinathenwalkstothatoppositewallpointingallthetimeand
makesherwalklastaslongandnolongerthantheline,sothatsheisabletotouchtheoppositewallonly
onthefollowinglastword.Sherepeatsthistilltheendofthespeech,eachlinelastingforonecrossingof
theroom.Irinaperformstheexerciseseveraltimes,eachtimejudgingherpacemoreaccurately,eachtime
touchingthewall,turningandpointingmorespecifically;itisnoteasy.
Theexercisehelpstheactortoseethetimealinemaytakeandtofeelthatversespringsasmuchfrom
thebodyasfromthehead.Aboveall,ithelpstheactortosensethatparticularandpowerfulintervalfrom
lastwordthroughanyunstressedsyllabletothefirststressedsyllable.Todescribethisshortintervalasa
‘gap’ora‘lapse’ora‘suspension’ismisleading,foritisatimechargedwithenergy.Thisinterval
normallygivesasenseofacceleration,andalwaysachangeofdirection,asenseofsharpreorientation,
whereveritoccurs.Thesensualfeelofthisspecificmomentwillvaryfromactortoactor.
Adigression:theInternationalDateLine
Inanyeventthissensationchangesfromlinetoline.ThesensationisgeneratedinIrinawhenshepays
attentiontoboththelastwordandthefirststressedsyllable.Thedistancefromfirststressedsyllableto
thelastwordinthesamelineisrational.Itisthelineitself.However,fromthelastwordtothefirst
stressedsyllableofthefollowinglineisstrange,alittleliketheInternationalDateLine.Whatmight
happentoatravellerwithouttheInternationalDateLineiscurious.Intermsoftime-reckoning,travellers
wouldgetyoungeriftheycontinuedtojourneywest.AndsotheDateLinewasinvented.Aflawinlogic,
afaultline,anartificialcrisisimposedontheclocksothatwecanrecoverasenseofnarrativecontrolof
Timeitself.
DionysusandApollo
Ultimately,theverybestwaytolearnaboutblankverseistoreadasmuchverseaspossiblealoud.
DevelopingversespeakingisratherlikeresearchinghowtheGreekssawtheirgods.Whenrehearsingan
AncientGreekplaywemaygooffandreadwhattheexpertshavesaid.Actually,itmayhelpmoreand
intimidatelesstoreadtheGreektextsthemselves.Welearninthesetexts,fromtheplays,theepicpoems
andthehistories,tomeetthesegodsourselves.Weeachhavebeengivenadifferentwayofseeingthe
world.Thisindividualwayofseeingcanbeledoutofus,educated,withthehelpofothers.Butit
remainsourwayofseeingandnotthatofsomeoneelse.Thisdoesnotmeanthatwecanmakeup
whateverwelikeabouttheseancientbeliefs.Wehavetogetusedtothemthroughattention.Butwecannot
getnearwhatDionysusorApollomeanttotheAncientGreekswithoutallowingourselvestoexperience
thesegodsasdirectlyaswecan.Weexperiencethemthroughcontactasimmediateaspossible.Our
contactneedstobesimpleandsensual.Weneeddirectcontactwiththeoriginalsources,ratherthanvia
whatsomeoneelsehasseeninthesesources.Althoughithelpstoreadanintroductionandlistento
experts,wemustalwaysrememberthatthisresearchcanonlyeverbeanintroductiontoourownwork.
Personalverse
Therecomesamomentwhenwegraspsomethingforourselves.Wecannotgive,getortakewisdom,but
wecanbehelpedtodiscoverourownandhelpotherstodothesame.ThismeansthatIrinacannotbe
taughthowtospeakverse.Shecanbegivenahundredrulesandbeforcedorcoaxedtogiveapassable
renditionofsomeoneelse’swayofspeakingit.OnlyIrinacanteachIrina,firstbylisteningtoothersmore
experienced.Butthemomentwillcomewhensheneedstoteachherselfherownway.Oneofthebest
waysthatIrinacanteachIrinaaboutverseisnotonlytoreadaloudasmuchverseaspossiblefromall
periods,butalsototrytowritesomeofherown.Tryingtowrite(oract)teachesusfasthowhardthey
aretodowell.Irinacanlearnquicklyatfirsthandwhatwordscannotdoand,consequently,whattheycan
do.Irinawilllearnhowalarminglyindependentwordsare,evenforthegreatestpoets.
Irinacanbecomeasmuchanexpertonblankverseasanyoneelse.Knowingaboutverseorindeedany
otheraspectofShakespeare’splaysisnottheprivilegeofaGnosticpriesthood.Themorewegettoknow
hisworkthemoreweeachrecogniseanindividualrelationshipwithhim.NobodyownsShakespeare.
(AlthoughonceaHollywoodproducersolemnlyassuredmethathehadacquiredtherights!)
JustasIrinawillfindherownwayofperformingJulietwiththisparticularRomeo,soIrinamust
synthesiseherownwayofspeakingverse.Irinacanbegivenhelpandguidelines.ButintheendIrinahas
tofindherownindividualway.Withsomedisciplineandalotofpractice,Irinawilldiscoverhowshe
mustspeakverse.
Seeing
Itisthesamefortheverseasitisforanyotheraspectofacting.Irinamustrememberthatshehasno
businessgettinganythingright.Rightdoesn’texist,fortheactoratleast,andwrongisequallyfrivolous.
Wearenotheretogetthingseitherrightorwrong.Weareheretodoourbest.Whatconstitutesthisbest
wedecideasindividuals,havingseentheambivalenceoftheworldasclearlyandunsentimentallyas
possible.
Theactorseesforus:thingswewanttoseeandalsothingsthatwedon’twanttosee.Theinfant
Millenniumisroaring:theactor’scapacitytoseethetargetinallitsmessyambivalencehasneverbeen
moreprecious.
Don’tgohome.
APPENDIX
ROMEOANDJULIET,Act2Scene2
(TheBalconyScene)
EnterROMEO
ROMEO
Hejestsatscarsthatneverfeltawound.
JULIETappearsabove
But,soft!whatlightthroughyonderwindowbreaks?
Itistheeast,andJulietisthesun.
Arise,fairsun,andkilltheenviousmoon,
Whoisalreadysickandpalewithgrief,
Thatthouhermaidartfarmorefairthanshe:
Benothermaid,sincesheisenvious;
Hervestalliveryisbutsickandgreen
Andnonebutfoolsdowearit;castitoff.
Itismylady,O,itismylove!
O,thatsheknewshewere!
Shespeaksyetshesaysnothing:whatofthat?
Hereyediscourses;Iwillanswerit.
Iamtoobold,’tisnottomeshespeaks:
Twoofthefaireststarsinalltheheaven,
Havingsomebusiness,doentreathereyes
Totwinkleintheirspherestilltheyreturn.
Whatifhereyeswerethere,theyinherhead?
Thebrightnessofhercheekwouldshamethosestars,
Asdaylightdothalamp;hereyesinheaven
Wouldthroughtheairyregionstreamsobright
Thatbirdswouldsingandthinkitwerenotnight.
See,howsheleanshercheekuponherhand!
O,thatIwereagloveuponthathand,
ThatImighttouchthatcheek!
JULIET
Ayme!
ROMEO
Shespeaks:
O,speakagain,brightangel!forthouart
Asglorioustothisnight,beingo’ermyhead,
Asisawingedmessengerofheaven
Untothewhite-upturnedwonderingeyes
Ofmortalsthatfallbacktogazeonhim
Whenhebestridesthelazy-pacingclouds
Andsailsuponthebosomoftheair.
JULIET
ORomeo,Romeo!whereforeartthouRomeo?
Denythyfatherandrefusethyname;
Or,ifthouwiltnot,bebutswornmylove,
AndI’llnolongerbeaCapulet.
ROMEO
[Aside]ShallIhearmore,orshallIspeakatthis?
JULIET
’Tisbutthynamethatismyenemy;
Thouartthyself,thoughnotaMontague.
What’sMontague?Itisnorhand,norfoot,
Norarm,norface,noranyotherpart
Belongingtoaman.O,besomeothername!
What’sinaname?Thatwhichwecallarose
Byanyothernamewouldsmellassweet;
SoRomeowould,werehenotRomeocall’d,
Retainthatdearperfectionwhichheowes
Withoutthattitle.Romeo,doffthyname,
Andforthatnamewhichisnopartofthee
Takeallmyself.
ROMEO
Itaketheeatthyword:
Callmebutlove,andI’llbenewbaptised;
HenceforthIneverwillbeRomeo.
JULIET
Whatmanartthouthatthusbescreen’dinnight
Sostumblestonmycounsel?
ROMEO
Byaname
IknownothowtotelltheewhoIam:
Myname,dearsaint,ishatefultomyself,
Becauseitisanenemytothee;
HadIitwritten,Iwouldteartheword.
JULIET
Myearshavenotyetdrunkahundredwords
Ofthattongue’sutterance,yetIknowthesound:
ArtthounotRomeoandaMontague?
ROMEO
Neither,fairmaid,ifeithertheedislike.
JULIET
Howcamestthouhither,tellme,andwherefore?
Theorchardwallsarehighandhardtoclimb,
Andtheplacedeath,consideringwhothouart,
Ifanyofmykinsmenfindtheehere.
ROMEO
Withlove’slightwingsdidIo’er-perchthesewalls;
Forstonylimitscannotholdloveout,
Andwhatlovecandothatdaresloveattempt;
Thereforethykinsmenarenostoptome.
JULIET
Iftheydoseethee,theywillmurderthee.
ROMEO
Alack,thereliesmoreperilinthineeye
Thantwentyoftheirswords:lookthoubutsweet,
AndIamproofagainsttheirenmity.
JULIET
Iwouldnotfortheworldtheysawtheehere.
ROMEO
Ihavenight’scloaktohidemefromtheireyes;
Andbutthouloveme,letthemfindmehere:
Mylifewerebetterendedbytheirhate,
Thandeathprorogued,wantingofthylove.
JULIET
Bywhosedirectionfound’stthououtthisplace?
ROMEO
Bylove,thatfirstdidpromptmetoenquire;
HelentmecounselandIlenthimeyes.
Iamnopilot;yet,wertthouasfar
Asthatvastshorewash’dwiththefarthestsea,
Iwouldadventureforsuchmerchandise.
JULIET
Thouknow’stthemaskofnightisonmyface,
Elsewouldamaidenblushbepaintmycheek
Forthatwhichthouhastheardmespeaktonight.
FainwouldIdwellonform,fain,faindeny
WhatIhavespoke:butfarewellcompliment!
Dostthouloveme?Iknowthouwiltsay‘Ay’,
AndIwilltakethyword:yetifthouswear’st,
Thoumaystprovefalse;atlovers’perjuries
Thensay,Jovelaughs.OgentleRomeo,
Ifthoudostlove,pronounceitfaithfully:
Orifthouthink’stIamtooquicklywon,
I’llfrownandbeperverseandsaytheenay,
Sothouwiltwoo;butelse,notfortheworld.
Intruth,fairMontague,Iamtoofond,
Andthereforethoumaystthinkmy’haviourlight:
Buttrustme,gentleman,I’llprovemoretrue
Thanthosethathavemorecunningtobestrange.
Ishouldhavebeenmorestrange,Imustconfess,
Butthatthouoverheard’st,ereIwasware,
Mytruelove’spassion:thereforepardonme,
Andnotimputethisyieldingtolightlove,
Whichthedarknighthathsodiscovered.
ROMEO
Lady,byyonderblessedmoonIswear
Thattipswithsilverallthesefruit-treetops—
JULIET
O,swearnotbythemoon,theinconstantmoon,
Thatmonthlychangesinhercircledorb,
Lestthatthyloveprovelikewisevariable.
ROMEO
WhatshallIswearby?
JULIET
Donotswearatall;
Or,ifthouwilt,swearbythygraciousself,
Whichisthegodofmyidolatry,
AndI’llbelievethee.
ROMEO
Ifmyheart’sdearlove—
JULIET
Well,donotswear:althoughIjoyinthee,
Ihavenojoyofthiscontracttonight:
Itistoorash,toounadvised,toosudden;
Toolikethelightning,whichdothceasetobe
Ereonecansay‘Itlightens.’Sweet,goodnight!
Thisbudoflove,bysummer’sripeningbreath,
Mayproveabeauteousflowerwhennextwemeet.
Goodnight,goodnight!assweetreposeandrest
Cometothyheartasthatwithinmybreast!
ROMEO
O,wiltthouleavemesounsatisfied?
JULIET
Whatsatisfactioncanstthouhavetonight?
ROMEO
Theexchangeofthylove’sfaithfulvowformine.
JULIET
Igavetheeminebeforethoudidstrequestit:
AndyetIwoulditweretogiveagain.
ROMEO
Wouldstthouwithdrawit?Forwhatpurpose,love?
JULIET
Buttobefrank,andgiveittheeagain.
AndyetIwishbutforthethingIhave:
Mybountyisasboundlessasthesea,
Myloveasdeep;themoreIgivetothee,
ThemoreIhave,forbothareinfinite.
NURSEcallswithin
Ihearsomenoisewithin;dearlove,adieu!
Anon,goodnurse!SweetMontague,betrue.
Staybutalittle,Iwillcomeagain.
Exit,above
ROMEO
Oblessed,blessednight!Iamafeard.
Beinginnight,allthisisbutadream,
Tooflattering-sweettobesubstantial.
Re-enterJULIET,above
JULIET
Threewords,dearRomeo,andgoodnightindeed.
Ifthatthybentoflovebehonourable,
Thypurposemarriage,sendmewordtomorrow,
ByonethatI’llprocuretocometothee,
Whereandwhattimethouwiltperformtherite;
AndallmyfortunesatthyfootI’lllay
Andfollowtheemylordthroughouttheworld.
NURSE
[Within]Madam!
JULIET
Icome,anon.—Butifthoumean’stnotwell,
Idobeseechthee—
NURSE
[Within]Madam!
JULIET
Byandby,Icome:—
Toceasethysuit,andleavemetomygrief:
TomorrowwillIsend.
ROMEO
Sothrivemysoul—
JULIET
Athousandtimesgoodnight!
Exit,above
ROMEO
Athousandtimestheworse,towantthylight.
Lovegoestowardlove,asschoolboysfromtheirbooks,
Butlovefromlove,towardschoolwithheavylooks.
Hedrawsback
Re-enterJULIET,above
JULIET
Hist!Romeo,hist!O,forafalconer’svoice,
Tolurethistassel-gentlebackagain!
Bondageishoarse,andmaynotspeakaloud;
ElsewouldItearthecavewhereEcholies,
Andmakeherairytonguemorehoarsethanmine,
WithrepetitionofmyRomeo’sname.
ROMEO
Itismysoulthatcallsuponmyname:
Howsilver-sweetsoundlovers’tonguesbynight,
Likesoftestmusictoattendingears!
JULIET
Romeo!
ROMEO
Mydear?
JULIET
Atwhato’clocktomorrow
ShallIsendtothee?
ROMEO
Bythehourofnine.
JULIET
Iwillnotfail:’tistwentyyearstillthen.
IhaveforgotwhyIdidcalltheeback.
ROMEO
Letmestandheretillthourememberit.
JULIET
Ishallforget,tohavetheestillstandthere,
RememberinghowIlovethycompany.
ROMEO
AndI’llstillstay,tohavetheestillforget,
Forgettinganyotherhomebutthis.
JULIET
’Tisalmostmorning,Iwouldhavetheegone,
Andyetnofurtherthanawanton’sbird,
Thatletsithopalittlefromhishand
Likeapoorprisonerinhistwistedgyves,
Andwithasilkenthreadplucksitbackagain,
Soloving-jealousofhisliberty.
ROMEO
IwouldIwerethybird.
JULIET
Sweet,sowouldI:
etIshouldkilltheewithmuchcherishing.
Goodnight,goodnight.Partingissuchsweetsorrow,
hatIshallsaygoodnighttillitbemorrow.
Exitabove
ROMEO
Sleepdwelluponthineeyes,peaceinthybreast!
WouldIweresleepandpeace,sosweettorest!
HencewillItomyghostlyfather’scell,
Hishelptocrave,andmydearhaptotell.
Exit
DeclanDonnellan
DeclanDonnellanisjointfounderofCheekbyJowlwithNickOrmerod.HeisjointArtisticDirectorof
thecompany.
DeclanDonnellanwasborninEnglandofIrishparentsin1953.HegrewupinLondonandread
EnglishandLawatQueens’College,Cambridge.HewascalledtotheBaratMiddleTemplein1978.
Heandhispartner,NickOrmerod,formedCheekbyJowlin1981andhehasdirectedthirty
productionsforthecompany.
In1989hewasmadeAssociateDirectoroftheRoyalNationalTheatreinLondonwherehis
productionshaveincludedFuenteovenjuna,SweeneyTodd,TheMandateandbothpartsofAngelsin
America.
FortheRoyalShakespeareCompanyhehasdirectedTheSchoolforScandal,KingLear(Academy
2002)andGreatExpectations.
HehasalsodirectedLeCidfortheAvignonFestival,FalstafffortheSalzburgFestivalandtheballet
ofRomeoandJulietfortheBolshoiinMoscow.OtherworkinRussiaincludesTheWinter’sTaleforthe
MalyDramaTheatreofStPetersburg.
In2000heformedacompanyofactorsinMoscow,undertheauspicesofTheChekhovInternational
TheatreFestival,whoseproductionsincludeBorisGodunov,TwelfthNight,ThreeSisters,andThe
Tempest.Theseproductionshavealreadybeenseeninforty-eightcitiesoftwenty-fivecountries.
Hehaswrittenaplay,LadyBetty,aboutIreland’snotorioushangwoman,whichwasperformedby
CheekbyJowlin1989.HehasalsoadaptedDon’tFoolwithLovebydeMusset,AntigonebySophocles,
TheMandatebyErdmanandMasqueradebyLermontov.
HehasreceivedawardsinMoscow,Paris,NewYorkandLondon,includingthreeLaurenceOlivier
Awards–DirectoroftheYear(1987),BestDirectorofaPlay(1995)andtheOlivierforOutstanding
Achievement(1990).LastyearhewasmadeaChevalierdel’OrdredesArtsetdesLettresforhiswork
inFrance.
Hisfirstfeaturefilm,BelAmi,co-directedwithNickOrmerod,wasreleasedin2012.
ANickHernBook
TheActorandtheTarget
firstpublishedinGreatBritainin2002
asapaperbackoriginalbyNickHernBooksLimited,
TheGlasshouse,49aGoldhawkRoad,LondonW128QP
Revisededitionpublished2005
Thisebookeditionfirstpublishedin2012
TheActorandtheTarget
copyright©2002,2005DeclanDonnellan
DeclanDonnellanhasassertedhisrighttobeidentifiedastheauthorofthiswork
CoverdesignedbyPeterBennett
TypesetbyCountrySetting,Kingsdown,Kent,CT148ES
ACIPcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary
ISBN9781780010182(ebookedition)
ISBN9781854598387(printedition)
CAUTIONThisebookiscopyrightmaterialandmustnotbecopied,reproduced,transferred,distributed,leased,licensedorpubliclyperformed
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