Writing Effective Paragraphs
The University of Melbourne
Outline 1
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The University of Melbourne
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Mark Eggins
Centre for Excellence in Learning and Teaching
[email protected]
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What is a paragraph?
What makes a good paragraph?
The topic sentence
The supporting sentences
The concluding sentence
Unity
Coherence
Questions?
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Some questions….
The University of Melbourne
• What is the difference between a
paragraph and a sentence?
• Is a one sentence paragraph okay?
• What are your rules for writing
paragraphs?
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The University of Melbourne
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• A sentence is a unit of meaning
• A paragraph is a larger unit of meaning
• Both should:
– contain ONE main idea & topic sentence
– ‘flow’ smoothly (cohesion) and logically
(coherence)
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Paragraph Example A:
Unity & Coherence
The University of Melbourne
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The University of Melbourne
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Paragraph Example B:
Unity & Coherence
The University of Melbourne
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The University of Melbourne
• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Some examples of these harms
include health problems such as lung cancer
and increased blood pressure. Another
significant issue is government
corruption. Therefore such harm must be
reduced by such measures as plain paper
packaging and treatment programs.
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Paragraph Example B
• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Some examples of these harms
include health problems such as lung cancer
and increased blood pressure. Another
significant issue is government corruption.
Therefore such harm must be reduced by
such measures as plain paper packaging and
treatment programs.
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• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Lung cancer and
increased blood pressure are serious
issues for Australians. Plain paper
packaging and treatment programs are
important government health infinitives.
• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Lung cancer and increased
blood pressure are serious issues for
Australians. Plain paper packaging and
treatment programs are important
government health infinitives.
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Paragraph Example A
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Paragraph Example C: Coherence
The University of Melbourne
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• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Some examples of these
harms include health problems such as
lung cancer and increased blood
pressure. Therefore such benefits can
be reduced by measures as plain paper
packaging and treatment programs.
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Paragraph Example C
The University of Melbourne
• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Some examples of these
harms include health problems such as
lung cancer and increased blood
pressure. Therefore such benefits can
be reduced by measures as plain paper
packaging and treatment programs.
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Paragraph Example D: Cohesion
The University of Melbourne
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Paragraph Example D
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The University of Melbourne
• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Included are health
problems such as lung cancer and
increased blood pressure. Reduction
can be made by measures. Plain paper
packaging and treatment programs are
some.
• Smoking causes great harm in the
community. Some examples of these
harms include health problems such as
lung cancer and increased blood
pressure. Therefore such harm can
be reduced by measures as plain paper
packaging and treatment programs.
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Paragraph Length: Example A
The University of Melbourne
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Speaking of accommodation, living at one of the 12 University-affiliated residential colleges
really is worth considering. Colleges are a cost-effective option when compared with private
rental accommodation and they can help with that transition period of settling into uni life. If
you’re into sport and exercise (or would like to be), the Sports Centre and sports clubs offer
everything from Pilates to netball, archery to Ultimate Frisbee. Group fitness classes, a gym,
the Beaurepaire Swimming Pool, squash and tennis courts are all on offer. There’s also an
athletics track, sporting fields, and accommodation for hire at the Mt Buller Alpine Lodge.As
a way of meeting people, joining a club (or two or three) is a great idea. Many departments
have their own clubs and societies that give you access to networks, social activities and
support. Other clubs cater to special interests like social justice, environmental issues and
politics, or indulge your passion for chocolate, cooking, Star Trek or debating. Union House
is at the heart of the Parkville campus; here you’ll find food, coffee and shops as well as
Student Union services like advocacy, legal advice and opportunities for work. And of
course, make sure you check out the North Court markets where you can find books,
clothes, CDs, jewellery and loads of other stuff. There is also the Rowden White Library with
an extensive DVD and CD burning collection. There’s always something happening on
campus. Any night of the week will see a range of activities on offer—theatre shows,
exhibitions, gigs, trivia nights, comedy and film as well as public lectures. There really is
something for all. The University is known for fostering engagement across a range of
activities, from Farrago, the student newspaper which has helped launched many a person’s
career into journalism, to student theatre and a range of music clubs, students don’t just
undertake structured learning, but can develop a range of skills and interests along the way.
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Paragraph Length: Example B
The University of Melbourne
Colleges are a cost-effective option when compared with private rental accommodation and they can help
with that transition period of settling into uni life.
If you’re into sport and exercise (or would like to be), the Sports Centre and sports clubs offer everything
from Pilates to netball, archery to Ultimate Frisbee. Group fitness classes, a gym, the Beaurepaire
Swimming Pool, squash and tennis courts are all on offer.
There’s also an athletics track, sporting fields, and accommodation for hire at the Mt Buller Alpine Lodge.As
a way of meeting people, joining a club (or two or three) is a great idea. Many departments have their own
clubs and societies that give you access to networks, social activities and support.
Other clubs cater to special interests like social justice, environmental issues and politics, or indulge your
passion for chocolate, cooking, Star Trek or debating.
Union House is at the heart of the Parkville campus; here you’ll find food, coffee and shops as well as
Student Union services like advocacy, legal advice and opportunities for work.
And of course, make sure you check out the North Court markets where you can find books, clothes, CDs,
jewellery and loads of other stuff. There is also the Rowden White Library with an extensive DVD and CD
burning collection.
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The University of Melbourne
Tim Beaumont
There’s always something happening on campus. Any night of the week will see a range of activities on
offer—theatre shows, exhibitions, gigs, trivia nights, comedy and film as well as public lectures.
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Paragraph Length 1
Paragraph Length: Example C
Speaking of accommodation, living at one of the 12 University-affiliated
residential colleges really is worth considering. Colleges are a costeffective option when compared with private rental accommodation and
they can help with that transition period of settling into uni life.
>
Speaking of accommodation, living at one of the 12 University-affiliated residential colleges really is worth
considering.
>
The University of Melbourne
>
• Paragraph word length can and should vary
BUT:
If you’re into sport and exercise (or would like to be), the Sports Centre
and sports clubs offer everything from Pilates to netball, archery to
Ultimate Frisbee. Group fitness classes, a gym, the Beaurepaire
Swimming Pool, squash and tennis courts are all on offer. There’s also
an athletics track, sporting fields, and accommodation for hire at the Mt
Buller Alpine Lodge.
As a way of meeting people, joining a club (or two or three) is a great
idea. Many departments have their own clubs and societies that give
you access to networks, social activities and support. Other clubs cater
to special interests like social justice, environmental issues and politics,
or indulge your passion for chocolate,
cooking, Star Trek or debating. 15
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• too long is hard to read
• too short and they look ‘choppy’ or like a list
• More than one paragraph for an introduction or conclusion is okay
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Paragraph Length 2
The University of Melbourne
Typical paragraph
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The University of Melbourne
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Topic sentence
• A longer sentence - useful in introducing new
information
• A shorter sentence - good to summarise
and/or emphasise (often at the end)
• Overall mix up sentence lengths
• Most people write too many long sentences!
Supporting sentences
(Concluding sentence)
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Sample paragraph
The University of Melbourne
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Sample paragraph
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The business venture ultimately failed for three main reasons: the
managers were inexperienced, the marketing strategy was flawed and the
financial planning was weak. Management inexperience was the most
significant reason for this failure. None of the managers had run
business previously or even studied business. The managers had a
corresponding lack of marketing experience and produced an incoherent
and inadequate marketing mix. Pricing and promotions were particularly
problematic. Finally, lack of strategic financial planning and control led to
enormous waste and over-expenditure. With these three central
problems, there was clearly no possibility for business success.
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The University of Melbourne
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The business venture ultimately failed for three main reasons: 1) the
managers were inexperienced, 2) the marketing strategy was flawed and
the 3) financial planning was weak. 1) Management inexperience was the
most significant reason for this failure. None of the managers had run
business previously or even studied business. 2) The managers had a
corresponding lack of marketing experience and produced an
Incoherent and inadequate marketing mix. Pricing and promotions were
particularly problematic. 3) Finally, lack of strategic financial planning and
control led to enormous waste and over-expenditure. 1, 2, 3) With these
three central problems, there was clearly no possibility for business
success.
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Sample paragraph (Version 2 )
The University of Melbourne
Sample paragraph (Version 2)
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The University of Melbourne
The business venture ultimately failed for three main reasons: the
managers were inexperienced, the marketing strategy was flawed and the
financial planning was weak. Management inexperience was the most
significant reason for this failure. None of the managers had run
business previously or even studied business.
The business venture ultimately failed for three main reasons: 1) the
managers were inexperienced, 2) the marketing strategy was flawed and 3) the
financial planning was weak. 1) Management inexperience was the most
significant reason for this failure. None of the managers had run
business previously or even studied business.
A lack of marketing experience and strategic financial planning were also
major issues. The former produced an incoherent and inadequate
marketing mix with pricing and promotions particularly problematic.
A lack of strategic financial planning and control in addition led to
enormous waste and over-expenditure.
2, 3) A lack of marketing experience and strategic financial planning were also
major issues. The former produced an incoherent and inadequate
marketing mix with pricing and promotions particularly problematic.
A lack of strategic financial planning and control in addition led to
enormous waste and over-expenditure.
With these three central problems mentioned above, there was clearly no
possibility for business success.
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1, 2, 3) With these three central problems mentioned above, there was clearly
no possibility for business success.
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Sample paragraph (Version 3)
The University of Melbourne
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Sample paragraph (Version 3)
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The University of Melbourne
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The business venture ultimately failed for three main reasons. The
first and most significant reason was management inexperience.
None of the managers had run business previously or even studied
business…..
The business venture ultimately failed for three main reasons. 1) The
first and most significant reason was management inexperience.
None of the managers had run business previously or even studied
business…..
The managers also had a corresponding lack of marketing experience
which produced an incoherent and inadequate marketing mix. Pricing and
promotions were particularly problematic. For example,…
2) The managers also had a corresponding lack of marketing experience
which produced an incoherent and inadequate marketing mix. Pricing and
promotions were particularly problematic. For example,…
Another reason for the failure was a lack of strategic financial planning and
control led to enormous waste and over-expenditure. Such deficits …
3) Another reason for the failure was a lack of strategic financial planning and
control led to enormous waste and over-expenditure. Such deficits originated in…
With these three central problems, there was clearly no possibility for business
success.
1, 2, 3) With these three central problems, there was clearly no possibility for
business success.
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This/these + such a/such
The University of Melbourne
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>1
This ___ ___
These ___ ___
Such a ___ ___
Such ___ ___
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This/these + such a/such
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The University of Melbourne
Strategy X is used by several firms. This
useful strategy…
Strategies X and Y are used by several firms.
These marketing strategies…
The firm favoured Method A for its internal audit
needs. Such a more contemporary audit method…
The firm favoured methods A and B for its internal
audit needs. Such affordable audit methods
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This/these and Such/such a + general noun
The University of Melbourne
consequence
application
approach
area
aspect
environment
category
challenge
characteristic
circumstance
component
concept
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activity
context
difference
effect
element
behavior
factor
feature
framework
function
goal
implication
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issue
level
measure
method
objective
outcome
phenomenon
policy
practice
principle
process
purpose
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purpose
reason
relationship
result
role
situation
stage
standard
tendency
tool
trend
variable
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This/these + such a/such activity
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The University of Melbourne
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This picture is of some ice cream. This popular
dessert sells especially well in hot weather.
This is a blue deck chair. This relatively
inexpensive furniture…
This is a mobile phone. Such lightweight
communications devices have become
ubiquitous around the world…
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Paragraph Structure
The University of Melbourne
Sample Paragraph 1
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The University of Melbourne
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Gold, a precious metal, is prized for two important reasons: it is
both beautiful and useful. First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty
that is resistant to corrosion. For example, a Macedonian coin
remains as untarnished today as the day it was minted twenty
three centuries ago. Another important characteristic of gold is
its utility in industry and science. The most recent application of
gold is in astronauts' suits.
1. Topic Sentence: states the main topic of the
paragraph and the controlling idea (does not always
need a reference)
2. Supporting Sentences: develop the topic sentence
3. Concluding sentence: signals the end of the
paragraph and leaves the reader with important
points to remember (not always necessary)
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Sample Paragraph 1
The University of Melbourne
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Sample Paragraph 2
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The University of Melbourne
Gold, a precious metal, is prized for two important reasons: it
Is both beautiful and useful. First of all, gold has a lustrous
beauty that is resistant to corrosion. For example, a Macedonian
coin remains as untarnished today as the day it was minted twenty
three centuries ago. Another important characteristic of gold is
its utility in industry and science. The most recent application of
gold is in astronauts' suits.
Hurricanes, which are also called cyclones, exert tremendous
power. These violent storms are often a hundred kilometres in
diameter, and their winds can reach velocities of one hundred and
ten kilometres per hour or more. Furthermore, the strong winds
and heavy rainfall that accompany them can completely destroy a
small town in a couple of hours. The energy that is released by a
hurricane in one day exceeds the total energy consumed by
humankind throughout the world in one year.
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Sample Paragraph 2
The University of Melbourne
Sample Paragraph 3
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The University of Melbourne
Hurricanes, which are also called cyclones, exert tremendous
power. These violent storms are often a hundred kilometres in
diameter, and their winds can reach velocities of one hundred and
ten kilometres per hour or more. Furthermore, the strong winds
and heavy rainfall that accompany them can completely destroy a
small town in a couple of hours. The energy that is released by a
hurricane in one day exceeds the total energy consumed by
humankind throughout the world in one year.
Albert Einstein, one of the world's geniuses, failed his university
entrance examinations on his first attempt. William Faulkner, one
of America's noted writers, never finished college because he
could not pass his English courses. Sir Winston Churchill, who is
considered one of the masters of the English language, had to
have special tutoring in English during elementary school. These
few examples show that failure in school does not always predict
failure in life.
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Sample Paragraph 3
The University of Melbourne
Albert Einstein, one of the world's geniuses, failed his university
entrance examinations on his first attempt. William Faulkner, one
of America's noted writers, never finished college because he
could not pass his English courses. Sir Winston Churchill, who is
considered one of the masters of the English language, had to
have special tutoring in English during elementary school. These
few examples show that failure in school does not always
predict failure in life.
>
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Topic Sentences 1
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The University of Melbourne
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• The topic sentence gives the reader a clear idea of
what the paragraph is about
• The topic sentence does not have to be the first
sentence of the paragraph
• However, this is the clearest way to present your
points
• A reference is not always required
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Topic Sentences 2
The University of Melbourne
Topic Sentences 2
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The University of Melbourne
The topic sentence is neither too general nor too specific
Studying overseas was very difficult for those
doing that.
Too General
Studying overseas was deemed to be very difficult.
Studying overseas was deemed to be very
difficult for 63% of the people surveyed who cited
a range of difficulties including homesickness,
loneliness, difficulty making Australian friends,
changes to diets, health problems, weight gain,
and difficulties with money and jobs.
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Too Specific
Studying overseas was deemed to be very difficult for 63% of the
people surveyed who cited a range of difficulties including
homesickness, loneliness, difficulty making Australian friends, changes
to diets, health problems, weight gain, and difficulties with money and
jobs.
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Examples
The University of Melbourne
 Studying overseas was deemed to be very difficult in
three main respects for 63% of the tertiary students
surveyed.
 Studying overseas was deemed to be very difficult for
63% of the tertiary students surveyed due to a variety
of concerns.
 Studying overseas was deemed to be very difficult
for over half of the tertiary students surveyed due to
the impact of culture shock, financial concerns and
health concerns.
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Topic Sentence Structure 1
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The University of Melbourne
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A topic sentence contains:
1. A topic
• eg. Studying overseas
The topic should not be a pronoun (he, she, his, this, it)
The topic is best placed at or near the start of the sentence
2. A controlling idea (what you say about the topic)
•
…was deemed to be very difficult…
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Topic Sentence Structure 2
The University of Melbourne
Topic Sentence Structure 3
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The controlling idea ‘controls’ everything else in the paragraph
The University of Melbourne
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The Topic Sentence may contain language which helps link it to
other paragraphs, e.g.
Studying overseas was deemed to be very difficult…
•
•
•
•
•
•
In this case, do not then continue on in the same paragraph to talk
about the benefits of studying overseas, or raw statistics about the
overseas student population etc.
If you want to do this, start a new paragraph
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Firstly,
The most important reason,
The next step,
In addition to…
The result of…
In contrast…
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Example
The University of Melbourne
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Example
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The University of Melbourne
Ownership typically takes two main forms. The first
form of control mechanism, “Direct ownership”, means a
shareholder who owns shares under his own
name or via a private company owned by him.
“Indirect ownership” on the other hand is when a
company is owned via other public firms or a chain of
public firms. …
Ownership typically takes two main forms. The first
form of control mechanism, “Direct ownership”, means a
shareholder who owns shares under his own
name or via a private company owned by him.
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>
“Indirect ownership” on the other hand is when a
company is owned via other public firms or a chain of
public firms. …
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Topic Sentence Structure 4
The University of Melbourne
Concluding Sentences
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The University of Melbourne
The topic sentence may contain language which clearly
Indicates the structure of the paragraph. e.g..
Concluding sentences are optional
•
•
•
•
You may begin a concluding sentence with such signals as:
They help by summarising the paragraph’s main point
…for three main reasons.
…in the following respects…
There are two methods of…
…has two advantages and one disadvantage
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•
•
•
•
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In short,
In summary,
Indeed,
Therefore, it is clear that…
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Coherence and cohesion
The University of Melbourne
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Ref: Jubb, C. A. (2000). Choosing an auditor: corporate governance, interpersonal associations and investor confidence.
PhD thesis, Department of Accounting, University of Melbourne
>
The University of Melbourne
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Cohere (verb): ‘stick together’
Sentences in a paragraph should flow logically.
How?
1.
2.
3.
Use nouns and pronouns appropriately
Arrange ideas in a logical order
Use linking words
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Ref: nodebox.net
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Pronoun Misuse
Use Nouns Appropriately
The University of Melbourne
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• If pronouns are overused, the focus can be hard for
the reader (What is ‘it’? Who is ‘he’? What are ‘they”)
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Signifying Paragraphs
The University of Melbourne
• Either at the start:
text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text
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text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
text text text text text text text text text text
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Paragraph Checklist
>
The University of Melbourne








• OR space between:
>
Ensure your pronoun refers to just one
subject:
A number of people support the new
systems and new processes. They
might be considered to increase
organisational effectiveness.
• Make it easy for the reader by repeating key nouns
regularly
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Does the paragraph directly to the question / thesis statement?
Does the paragraph just have one main idea?
Is there a topic sentence which has a topic and controlling idea?
Has the topic sentence been supported?
Are nouns and pronouns used appropriately?
Are sentences arranged in a logical order?
Are linking words used?
Is the paragraph clearly linked to the other paragraphs?
 The previous one
 The following one
 Is the paragraph layout correct?
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Need Further Help?
The University of Melbourne
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The University of Melbourne
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Consult Academic Writing Books, particularly:
• Writing Academic English (Longman)
• The Essentials of English (Longman)
Use CELT Services, particularly:
• Workshops
• Individual Consultations
• Helpsheets
• GEP
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Acknowledgement
The University of Melbourne
>
Some of the material featured in this presentation has been
adapted from slides prepared by Dr. Martin Davies.
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