Love, Loss and Forgiveness in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club
Chuen-shin Tai
Abstract
Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club is filled with compelling stories of four Chinese
immigrant mothers and their American-born daughters. Tan presents how the
healing power of forgiveness saves the troubled relationship between the Chinese
mother and American daughter. Before this, however, the generational and
intercultural differences generate the American daughter’s inability to value her
mother’s Chinese story, one that carries love and hope. Thus, when the daughter
Jing-mei fills her departed mother’s corner at the mah jong table, she finally can
genuinely appreciate her mother’s devotion and actions by seeing things from her
mother’s perspective, recalling, Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mocking Bird, which points
out that one can never understand a person until one considers things from his
point of view or climbs in his skin and walk around in it. As a result, walking in her
mother’s shoes, Jing-mei learns to reconcile with her deceased mother and forgive
her for painful misunderstandings by finding then unconditional love they shared
between them. In all relationships, forgiveness brings understanding, and
understanding brings compassion.
Key Words: loss, misunderstanding, reconciliation, love, forgiveness
*****
1.
Introduction: Chinese Mother and American Daughter
The Joy Luck Club begins with the highlights of the often ambivalent
relationship between the Chinese mother Suyuen Woo and her American-born
daughter Jing-mei. ‘Feathers from a thousand li away’ reveals how the mother
brought with her a duck that hoped to become a goose.1 In a sense, the mother
wants her daughter to become a swam in the new land and speak only perfect
American English. Giving all that she can to her daughter, the mother swallows the
pain of her daily life to offer her the best of everything. The mother, in this regard,
‘has her own powerful story of overcoming odds, of having learned the lessons of
becoming strong through seeing her own mother suffer or by suffering herself.’2
But how could the Chinese mother understand that her Americanized daughter
merely thinks of Coca-Cola in this new home. Ironically, Jing-mei has become 100
% American, which is, by and large, what the mother had hoped for but without
thinking her daughter could grow so far apart. Thus, in waiting for the perfect
moment to tell her daughter and give her the only swan feather, the Chinese mother
and American-made daughter form a gap of misunderstanding that leads to their
loss of faith in each other. Tan describes the importance of the feather even though
Love, Loss and Forgiveness
it may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all good
intentions.3 The mother never got her chance to share the significance of the swan
feather to her daughter. Obviously, they become blind to the love that is buried
deep within them.
Though perfect communication between them seems impossible, the mother
still waits for the moment to share more of her past with her daughter. However,
unable to reconcile their feelings, the mother and daughter aren’t able to appreciate
the love and concern they feel for each other, thus ‘with broken English and limited
knowledge about American customs, the mothers are upset with the fact that their
daughters do not understand them.’ 4 Therefore, such kind of devastating
relationship leads to only more fights and alienation between them. Sadly, the
death of her mother actually is the beginning of the daughter’s journey in search of
her mother’s life story. Thus, the trip to China teaches Jing-mei to see the world
through her mother’s eye. Clearly, Jing-mei needs to step outside the box and
rethink her relationship with her mother. Jing-mei realizes that instead of rejecting
her mother’s perspective, she should live by the wisdom taught by her. In this way,
a sense of reconciliation occurs when the daughter opens her heart and mind to
really try to understand her mother’s pain and loss from the past. In fact, the past is
the future. That is to say, forgiveness is a choice that releases Jing-mei from feeling
victimized by her traumatic past, allowing her to walk toward a new future.
2.
On the East
At the Joy Luck Club Jing-mei sits in the fourth corner since ‘I am to replace
my mother, whose seat at the mah jong table has been empty since she died two
months ago.’5 Not knowing what to do or say, Jing-mei feels awkward sitting in
her mother’s seat. Jing-mei feels out of place because she worries about what her
aunties will think of her: ‘They must wonder now how someone like me can take
my mother’s place.’6 Reflecting on past scenarios of her life, Jing-mei knows she
could never replace or be like her mother. Jing-mei even questions herself: ‘How
can I be my mother at Joy Luck?’7 In other words, Jing-mei feels that she isn’t
qualified to fill in for her mother. But she still goes to join the mah jong game. In
this sense, taking part in the game helps Jing-mei to feel closer to her mother and
‘without having anyone tell me, I know her corner on the table was the East.’8 Her
mother’s spot on the East side foreshadows the trip back to China, the home of her
mother’s heart. Jing-mei ‘must see the landscape that those words, or mini poems,
interpret in order for her to discover her own individual place.’9 Without a doubt,
the trip to China helps Jing-mei to know the stories of her mother’s life, which
gradually leads her to find her own confident voice within herself.
Growing up as a Chinese-American, Jing-mei suffered from the
disappointments of her mother. Indeed, there were many unspoken
misunderstandings between them, as Jing-mei realizes as she thinks back to the
past: ‘My mother and I never really understood one another. We translated each
Chuen-shin Tai
other’s meanings and I seemed to hear less than what was said, while my mother
heard more.’10 They each often had different interpretations of the same subject.
Tan narrates both the mother and daughter’s side of their story ‘first from the
daughter’s perspective and then from the mother’s.’11 Hearing different voices,
one then can glue together the missing parts of each story. Later, learning from
Aunt Lin that her half sisters are still alive in China and eager to see her, Jing-mei
is worried that they will hate her for not taking good care of their mother.
Nonetheless, Aunt Lin tells Jing-mei that she needs to meet her sisters and tell
them about her for ‘the mother they did not know, they must now know.’ 12
Jing-mei becomes speechless because she doesn’t know what to say: ‘What will I
say? What can I tell them about my mother? I don’t know anything. She was my
mother.’13 Surprised at such a reply, Aunt Lin says: ‘Your mother is in your
bones.’14 Aunt Lin reminds Jing-mei of how her mother is still a part that is deep
inside her. Clearly, Aunt Lin wants Jing-mei to help her sisters to gain a better
understanding of their mother and to ‘tell them stories she told you, lessons she
taught, what you know about her mind that has become your mind.’15 Though not
knowing if she can fulfill the expectations of her dead mother and Aunt Lin,
Jung-mei agrees to go to China for a reunion with her half sisters. Replacing her
mother at the game, Jing-mei sits in her mother’s corner, which is ‘on the East,
where things begin.’16 No doubt, the trip to China not only is to get to know her
half sisters but also a chance for Jing-mei to appreciate her mother’s past. What
begins as just a trip also becomes an impetuous quest to blend her Chinese heritage
with her American values. Though caught in a cross-cultural web of East and West,
Jing-mei learns to speak of reconciling herself to and then embracing the best
within the two traditions.
3.
Failed Expectations
To Jing-mei’s mother, coming to America was to find her dream in the land of
opportunity. Raised with so many expectations from her mother, Jing-mei would
do her best to fulfill her wish. Not surprisingly, Jing-mei even tells herself that she
‘would soon become perfect.’17 Ideally, Jing-mei wants to become the talented
daughter that her mother hopes she will become. Her mother first wanted her to be
a child actress which, unsurprisingly, didn’t work out well. Then later her mother
subjects her to intellectual tests from popular magazines, which also turn out badly.
Each time Jing-mei couldn’t fulfill her mother’s hopes she would see the
disappointment on her face. This made Jing-mei feel as if she ‘began to die.’18
Jing-mei got sick of the tests and moreover, ‘the raised hopes and failed
expectations.’ 19 The harsh looks of her mother were a cruel and devastating
punishment for such a little girl to bear. It seemed to imply that her mother ‘had
lost everything.’20 Unwilling to give up, however, Jing-mei’s mother is determined
that her daughter has a great talent still waiting to be discovered and known by
others. Thus, she does housecleaning so that Jing-mei can take piano lessons from
Love, Loss and Forgiveness
Mr. Chong. However, Jing-mei fails at the piano concert which also turns out to be
another catastrophe of her childhood. Jing-mei thinks that at least now the piano
lessons will stop but she is wrong. She is surprised and even shocked that her
mother wants her to continue practicing the piano. Jing-mei becomes frustrated and
accuses her mother of giving her such a miserable life. During the fight Jing-mei
shouts that she wishes never to have been born and to be dead just like the children
in China. To her surprise, her mother never talks about piano lessons again.
Being too young to understand her mother, Jing-mei feels anger instead of love
from her mother. As a grown woman looking back to her past, Jing-mei still feels
herself to have been a disappointment to her mother. But the trip to China will help
her to see a different side of her mother. On Jing-mei’s thirtieth birthday, her
mother offers to give her the piano. Jing-mei had always thought that her mother
hated her for the humiliation at the piano concert but, in fact, she is wrong. At such
a moment, Jing-mei sees this ‘as a sign of forgiveness, a tremendous burden
removed.’ 21 Truly, in her childhood Jing-mei could not appreciate her mother’s
hopes and considered them a major source of suffering in her life. The story in this
section ends with Jing-mei now an adult opening the lid and touching the piano
that she hasn’t played for so long. What’s more, it is only after the death of her
mother that Jing-mei realizes the depths of her mother’s love. In this sense, the
‘Pleading Child’ and ‘Perfectly Contented’22 are actually two halves of the same
song. With such acknowledgement, she resolves her difficulties with her mother by
understanding the differences between them.
4.
Life’s Importance
The tension between Jing mei and her mother remained a struggle even when
she became an adult. They both see the world with different eyes and are separated
by culture, age and life experience. The memories of the past still remain vivid as
Jing-mei thinks of ‘life’s importance.’23 Though a gap exists between them, but
Jing-mei feels that her mother is the only person who she can talk to or who can
understand her grief. At dinner Waverly picks the best crab on the table while
Jing-mei takes the ‘crab with the missing leg.’24 Knowing that Jing-mei would
always give the best to others, her mother takes the dead crab. Her mother tells her
that even beggars wouldn’t take a dead crab. Her mother looks at her and says
‘only you pick that crab. Nobody else take it. I already know this. Everybody else
want best quality. You think different.’25 Indeed, no one wants to pick the last and
worst in quality. They all want to pick the best one on the dinner table.
Notwithstanding, Jing-mei often puts others before her needs and takes what is left.
Apparently, she seems to be the same in other activities of her daily life.
Her mother, seeing the kindness in her heart, gives her the jade necklace,
reminding her ‘I wore this on my skin, so when you put it on your skin, then you
will know my meaning. This is your life’s importance.’26 Obviously, the necklace
is meant to be a link that will bring them closer to each other. The touch of the skin
Chuen-shin Tai
symbolizes a strong and unbreakable blood bond. Though Jing-mei wants to refuse
it at the beginning, she still keeps the necklace. Furthermore, her mother questions
why Jing-mei should always follow Waverly. Clearly, her mother wants her to
listen to her heart and live her life chasing her own dreams. She even tells her:
‘You can make your legs go the other way.’27 Without a doubt, her mother has
some success teaching her to fight back and claim what belongs to her.
5.
Conclusion: Coming Home
The last story begins with Jing-mei and her father on their way to China to
meet her half sisters. On the train Jing-mei feels ‘different.’28 The change in
Jing-mei is brought about the sense of coming to her mother’s home. Growing up
in America has made Jing-mei Americanized in many aspects but the return now is
making her feel ‘Chinese.’29 Her mother had once told her that ‘once you are born
Chinese, you cannot help but feel and think Chinese.’30 This feeling of being
Chinese makes her understand her mother’s hardship in life in China. The trip
becomes a path of guidance allowing Jing-mei to see the Chinese within her.
Jing-mei’s voyage is actually both for her and her mother because symbolically she
carries ‘dreams of coming home.’31 Bringing back her mother’s wish to find her
half sisters, Jing-mei accomplishes this last step for her mother. Jing-mei not only
replaces her mother at the mah jong table but she goes to China to find her lost
children. Without voicing a word of doubt, she recognizes her half sisters ‘and now
I see her again, two of her, waving, and in one hand there is a photo, the Polaroid I
sent them.’32 Seeing her sisters, Jing-mei feels the part of her that is Chinese as the
‘search for her mother/origin is displaced onto her sisters.’ 33 She feels the
connection with them: ‘It is my family. It is in our blood.’34 For many years,
Jing-mei had been mad and upset with her mother because she felt she could never
be the perfect daughter.
There to tell her mother’s story to her half sisters, she understands the great
love of her mother and ‘the feeling of belonging in her family and of being at last
in the larger family of China.’35 Feeling close to them, ‘my sisters and I stand,
arms around each other, laughing and wiping the tears from each other’s eye.’36
After many years of separation, they have now found each other. Standing there
they are eager to see the picture of the three together as one, ‘her same yes, her
same mouth, open in surprise to see, at last, her long-cherished wish.’37 Within the
picture, they see ‘a unity not only between siblings but also between them and their
Chinese Mother.’38 Though psychically the mother is absent, her spiritual presence
exists in a strong way. This reunion with her half sisters weaves together the
paradoxes of absence and presence, and most of all, loss and recovery of their
mother’s love. Notwithstanding, Jing-mei and her half sisters feel the separation
from their mother but they experience a unique connection in oneness with their
mother’s soul. Jing-mei can now see the world from her mother’s point of view and
can truly appreciate the love she offered. At this moment, Jing-mei symbolically
Love, Loss and Forgiveness
reaches out to her mother as she embraces her twin sisters.
As Nancy Willard states: ‘Amy Tan’s special accomplishment in this novel is
not her ability to show us how mothers and daughters hurt each other, but how they
love and ultimately forgive each other.’39 Naturally, her mother had only good
intentions for Jing-mei and her future. In understanding her mother, Jing-mei can
now tell her half sisters of the beauty and true side of their mother because ‘by the
end of the journey, Jing-mei understands the past as she understands what her
mother means to her, as do the other daughters.’40 As a young child, Jing-mei
rejected everything about her mother and could never think in terms for her own
interest. Now as she stands facing life from her mother’s point of view, Jing-mei
can live a happy and more successful life. Evidently, Jing-mei attains to
forgiveness of her mother as she becomes more open to her mother’s point of view
and more accepting of the differences between them. A fortiori, forgiveness hurts
but also heals the heart as well.
Notes
1
Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club, Cambridge University Press, 1995, 7.
Zenobia Mistri, ‘Discovering the Ethnic Name and the Genealogical Tie in Amy
Tan's The Joy Luck Club’, Studies i Short Fiction 35 (1998): 251.
3
Tan, The Joy Luck Club, 7.
4
Li Zeng, ‘Diasopic Self, Cultural Other: Negotiating Ethnicity through
Transformation in the Fiction of Tan and Kingston’, Language & Literature 28
(2003): 3.
5
Tan, The Joy Luck Club, 8.
6
Ibid., 16.
7
Ibid., 16.
8
Ibid., 22.
9
Michelle Wood, ‘Negotiating the Geography of Mother-Daughter Relationships
in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club’, Midwest Quarterly 54 (2012): 94.
10
Tan, The Joy Luck Club, 27.
11
Catherine Romagnolo, ‘Narrative Beginnings in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club:
A Feminist Study’, Studies in the Novel 35 (2003): 100.
12
Tan, The Joy Luck Club, 30.
13
Ibid., 30.
14
Ibid., 30.
15
Ibid., 31.
16
Ibid., 32.
17
Ibid., 127.
18
Ibid., 128.
19
Ibid., 128.
2
Chuen-shin Tai
20
Ibid., 135.
Ibid., 137.
22
Ibid., 139.
23
Ibid., 194.
24
Ibid., 199.
25
Ibid., 205.
26
Ibid., 206.
27
Ibid., 206.
28
Ibid., 267.
29
Ibid., 267.
30
Ibid., 267.
31
Ibid., 267.
32
Ibid., 289.
33
Romagnolo, ‘Narrative Beginnings in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club’, 104.
34
Tan, The Joy Luck Club, 289.
35
Walter Shear, ‘Generational Differences and the Diaspora in The Joy Luck Club’,
Critique 34 (1993): 198.
36
Tan, The Joy Luck Club, 289.
37
Ibid., 289.
38
Bella Adams, ‘Identity-in-Difference: Re-Generating Debate about
Intergenerational Relationships in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club’, Studies in The
Literary Imagination 39 (2006): 83.
39
Nancy Willard, Asian American Women Writers, H Bloom (ed), Chelsea House
Publishers, Philadelphia, 1999, 84.
40
Mistri, ‘Discovering the Ethnic Name’, 257.
21
Bibliography
Adams, Bella. ‘Identity-in-Difference: Re-Generating Debate about
Intergenerational Relationships in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club’. Studies in The
Literary Imagination 39 (2006): 79-94.
Mistri, Zenobia. ‘Discovering the Ethnic Name and the Genealogical Tie in Amy
Tan's The Joy Luck Club’. Studies in Short Fiction 35 (1998): 251-57.
Romagnolo, Catherine. ‘Narrative Beginnings in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club: A
Feminist Study’. Studies in the Novel 35 (2003): 89-107.
Shear, Walter. ‘Generational Differences and the Diaspora in The Joy Luck Club’.
Critique 34 (1993): 193-99.
Love, Loss and Forgiveness
Tan, Amy. The Joy Luck Club. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1995.
Willard, Nancy. Asian American Women Writers, edited by Harold Bloom.
Philadelphia: Chelsea House Publishers, 1999.
Wood, Michelle G. ‘Negotiating the Geography of Mother-Daughter Relationships
in Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club’. Midwest Quarterly 54 (2012): 82-96.
Zeng, Li. ‘Diasopic Self, Cultural Other: Negotiating Ethnicity through
Transformation in the Fiction of Tan and Kingston’. Language & Literature 28
(2003): 1-15.
Chuen-shin Tai is Assistant Professor of Applied English at Shih-chien University,
Kaohsiung Campus. Her area of specialization is Asian-American writers. At
present, she is working on mapping identities of minority writers.