Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
Exemplar for Unit Standard
English Language Level 3
This exemplar supports assessment against:
Unit Standard 28068
Write texts on familiar topics (EL)
An annotated exemplar is an extract of student evidence, with a commentary, to explain
key aspects of the standard. It assists teachers to make assessment judgements at the
grade boundaries.
New Zealand Qualifications Authority
To support internal assessment
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
Grade Boundary: Low Excellence
1.
For Excellence, the student needs to write two texts, each of a different text type,
on different familiar topics, to communicate ideas precisely and fluently.
This involves:
•
•
•
•
ensuring that the content, structure and organisation of each written text
are appropriate to the topic, audience and text type
writing in a coherent and cohesive manner with minimal lapses
using a wide range of language features and vocabulary
conveying the meaning of each written text with minimal inaccuracies.
The student has written an information text about the New Zealand education
system.
Content, structure and organisation are appropriate to topic and text type. The
opening statement clearly classifies the topic (1). Information is predominantly
factual, with no personal involvement. Relevant facts are presented in a logical
sequence and arranged in paragraphs with topic sentences describing successive
stages of schooling (2).
The text is coherent and uses a range of cohesive devices (3) with minimal
lapses, although cohesion between paragraphs relies primarily on noun phrases
and there is some under-use of pronoun referencing.
A wide range of language features and vocabulary is used. Control is
demonstrated of a variety of simple, compound and complex sentences (4).
Punctuation is usually accurate, although the omission of commas within long
complex sentences is noticeable. There are only occasional inaccuracies in word
choice.
For a more secure Excellence, the student could use more cohesive devices
between paragraphs and improve punctuation within complex sentences.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
(Extract only)
The New Zealand Education System
The New Zealand education system is considered one of the best in the world. This is
primarily because the government spends a lot of money on education and also because the
citizens of the country believe that everyone should get the education they deserve. The
education system is also both practical and academic which makes learning much easier.
Pre-school, also known as Early Childhood Education, starts from birth and continues until
children go to primary school. Some pre-schools are run by teachers who are qualified while
others are led by family and caregivers. Pre-schooling is taught in many languages although
the primary language is English. […]
Intermediate school covers students from year seven to eight. However, children can choose
to stay at primary school as some primary schools are designed to cover both levels of
education. The education system is mainly focused on building literacy and numeracy skills.
This helps students to prepare for secondary or high school.
By the age of twelve or thirteen, students are ready to move to secondary schools. These
schools provide students with a range of practical and theoretical programmes and pathways
that enable students to gain the skills they need in order to attend a higher level of
education. For example, in the first two years of high school, students may take up to ten
subjects like economics and drama. From year eleven onwards however, students may
choose the subjects they need in order to pursue their dreams whether in a university or
through other pathways. […]
In conclusion, New Zealand provides a world class education that is internationaly
understood and accepted.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
Grade Boundary: Low Merit
2.
For Merit, the student needs to write two texts, each of a different text type, on
different familiar topics, to communicate ideas effectively.
This involves:
•
•
•
•
ensuring that the content, structure and organisation of the written text are
appropriate to the topic, audience and text type
writing in a coherent and cohesive manner with minor lapses
using a range of language features and vocabulary
conveying the meaning of the written text with minor inaccuracies.
The student has written an information report about the New Zealand education
system.
Content, structure and organisation are appropriate to topic and text type. The
opening statement clearly classifies the topic (1) and information is predominantly
factual and objective, without personal involvement. Central paragraphs all have
clear topic sentences (2) followed by relevant description and exemplification in a
logical order.
The text is coherent and a sufficient range of cohesive devices, including
pronouns, conjunctions and connectives, is used correctly (3), although the use of
many short, simple sentences affects cohesion.
A range of language features is used to communicate ideas clearly and quite
effectively. Control of simple, compound and a limited range of complex
sentences is demonstrated (4). The range of vocabulary is sufficient for Merit.
For a more secure Merit, the student could use a greater range of cohesive
devices and complex sentence structures.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
(Extract only)
Information report about New Zealand school system
New Zealand has a free compulsory school system. Generally, the school system in New
Zealand is supportive and helps most students to achieve in some way.
In New Zealand there are four parts to the school system. The first part is the kindergarten
and then students move on to primary school when they are 5 years old. Sometimes after
primary school students attend an intermediate school for their last two primary years from
11-12 years old. Intermediate school is a bridge to the high school. In high school the
student work to get credits for NCEA which means National Certificate of Educational
Achievement. Students have internal and external assessment and classroom work and
from these assessments they get credits which go towards NCEA level one, two and three
certificates. If students achieve NCEA level three, they can study at a university or
polytechnic.
In New Zealand schools there are lots of practical subjects, as well as academic subjects to
choose. Some examples are PE, Photography and Art which are supporting subjects. […].
There are also lots of opportunities for educational trips, especially the students who take
Outdoor Education.
There are four terms during the school year. […] The school day lasts about six hours in
New Zealand. Schools usually start about 9am and finish about 3 pm or 3.30 pm.
The New Zealand school system is helpful to students. Normally most students can achieve
at all levels in New Zealand because they can get a lot of help from the school.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
Grade Boundary: Low Achieved
3.
For Achieved, the student needs to write two texts, each of a different text type,
on different familiar topics, to communicate ideas.
This involves:
•
•
•
•
ensuring that the content, structure and organisation of each written text
are generally appropriate to the topic, audience and text type
writing in a generally coherent and cohesive manner
using a limited range of language features and vocabulary
generally conveying the meaning of each written text although there may
be errors and inaccuracies.
The student has written an information text about X Girls’ High School.
Content, structure and organisation are generally appropriate to topic and text
type. The opening statement clearly classifies the topic (1), although the inclusion
of specific information about school wings is inappropriate immediately following
this statement (2). Central paragraphs have clear topic sentences (3) followed by
relevant description and exemplification in a logical order without personal
involvement. However, the concluding sentence introduces new, unsupported
information (4).
The text is generally coherent and a limited range of cohesive devices, including
pronoun referencing and some repeated connectives, is used (5).
A very limited range of language features and vocabulary is used to communicate
information. The majority of the sentences are simple, but control is demonstrated
of compound sentences and complex sentences using relative clauses (6).
There are no repeated errors and the few inaccuracies do not obscure meaning.
For a more secure Achieved, the student could improve the structure of the
opening and closing paragraphs and use a greater range of compound and
complex sentences and vocabulary.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
(Extract only)
X Girls High School
X___________ Girls High School is a single sex school in the city of ________________,
New Zealand.
The school is divided into two wings. Students usually call them North Wing and South Wing.
The uniform is the symbol of this school. There are two kinds of school uniforms with six
different combinations allowed for the uniform; one is for summer and the other one is for
winter. The summer school uniform includes a pair of blue shoes, a pair of white socks and a
tartan dress with white and red. They can also combine a red jacket or a blue sweater.
Students can also wear badges on both collars. […]
XGHS can also offer girls the chances to do their sports at the highest possible level. Girls
can take part in plenty of sports. For example, swimming, netball, basketball, rugby and so
on. A numbers of girls represent the school and the country to take part in competitions. For
example, one Year 13 student is a New Zealand swimming champion.
XGHS can offer Kiwi girls opportunities to learn knowledge but it also welcomes the girls
from other countries. There are 34 international students who are from these countries in this
school. […] XGHS offers Esol class which is learning about basic English grammar and
vocabulary to some international students who need to improve their English.
XGHS has a very long history and it is very proud of it.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
Grade Boundary: High Not Achieved
4.
For Achieved, the student needs to write two texts, each of a different text type,
on different familiar topics, to communicate ideas.
This involves:
•
•
•
•
ensuring that the content, structure and organisation of each written text
are generally appropriate to the topic, audience and text type
writing in a generally coherent and cohesive manner
using a limited range of language features and vocabulary
generally conveying the meaning of each written text although there may
be errors and inaccuracies.
The student has written a comparison between schools in New Zealand and
China.
Content is generally appropriate, but the topic is not clearly stated in the opening
paragraph which itemises specific facts about the New Zealand education system.
The inclusion of personal opinion is inappropriate for this text type (1).
Comparative information about school uniform rules, subject choices and school
holidays is organised into paragraphs, with topic sentences (2), but the inclusion
of some unrelated facts within paragraphs detracts from coherence (3) and some
topics are insufficiently developed.
A very limited range of cohesive devices is used (4) with a reliance on the
repetition of nouns and some loose pronoun reference (5). There is some
inappropriate personal involvement in the use of the first person pronouns and
determiners (6).
A very limited range of language features and vocabulary is used. The majority of
sentences are simple and compound.
For Achieved, the student could improve the introduction and paragraphing, use
objective language consistently and include more cohesive devices and complex
sentence structures.
© NZQA 2016
Exemplar for internal assessment resource English Language for Unit Standard 28068 EXP B
(Extract only)
A comparison between schools in New Zealand and China
Generally, the school in New Zealand will help students to achieve their NCEA. The school
in New Zealand is more free. The system is compulsory from 5 years old to 16 years old.
They leave at 16 years old as they want. New Zealand school system is divided by primary
school, intermediate school and high school.
The rules in _____________ College are typical of most high schools in New Zealand. They
are not so strict compared to my country. In _____________ College changing hair colour
into normal colour is acceptable but extreme colours like blue, red and green are
unacceptable. In New Zealand a little jewellery is acceptable, for example ear rings, but in
China they won’t allow you to do it. […]. In China mostly we wear uniform but not more than
two days in mufti, however at _____________ College we have more time to wear mufti. In
my country there is punishment if you can’t pass the exam but not in New Zealand.
Generally in New Zealand high schools have more choice for subjects. You will have many
choices in school but in China all the subjects are all set for you and the teachers only focus
on core subjects. The school time in New Zealand is short and has 2 breaks but in China it is
all boring and terrible.
The difference between New Zealand schools and other countries is New Zealand has more
holidays. In _____________ College there are 10 weeks for a term and they have 2 weeks
off for holidays and we have one long holidays at the end of the year.
‘New Zealand system compared to other countries is more free and more relaxed.
© NZQA 2016