Bad Girls Perfume
Chapter 1 Excerpts
If you’re reading these words you’re already in trouble.
Bad Girls are always in some kind of trouble!
Bad Girls know who they are and prick up their ears when
they hear someone calling them by name.
You saw ‘Bad Girls’ on the cover of this book and thought,
“Hey, that’s me!”
But perfume? What does perfume have to do with
Bad Girls?
Everything!
Perfume is made for Bad Girls because perfume is secret
code for power, and Bad Girls NEED power.
You can have all the great Bad Girls intentions, plans, and
agendas you want, but without power you can’t make them
happen, so they might as well not exist.
Power is about getting one’s way. And, since Bad Girls
often get their way through covert action − seduction,
subterfuge, and ruse, well, that’s where the specific power
of perfume comes in.
When we think of perfume, we don’t necessarily think of
power. Instead we tend to think of seduction and desire,
romance, beauty, or magic, because that’s what perfume
makes us see or feel. But power is what perfume is.
Perfume powers seduction. Perfume powers desire.
Perfume powers a lot of life’s experiences because it
transforms feelings and perceptions. It transforms our own
feelings and perceptions about ourselves, and it transforms
other people’s perceptions and feelings about us.
This is the essential power of perfume.
And perfumery − the entire perfume industry all the way
back to the dawn of history, has been and still is, about this
amazing transformative power.
Let me give you an example that may surprise you.
Perfume is the origin of Original Sin. Believe me, I have
this on the best authority. We all know the official story,
and how everybody blamed Eve for making Adam eat the
apple. Well, this didn’t bother Eve one bit because she was
a wily chick and knew everybody blames everything on
women anyway. So when she, in turn, blamed the serpent,
she knew full well that wasn’t going to take the heat off
her. Didn’t matter. She did it to keep from revealing the
real reason Adam ate that apple. Way too powerful a secret
to share with those guys who wrote the Bible. But, I’m
going to tell you something. I KNOW Eve’s secret. It was
Olfaction. The sense of smell. Fragrance. Perfume.
Olfaction, the most ancient of the five senses, is triggered
in the olfactory bulb of the brain (often referred to as the
reptilian brain−read animal here), and is at the genesis of
memory and dreams. It’s older and more powerful than
those parts of the brain that inform us about proper
conduct, law, and order.
So, here’s the real story.
Adam was an ordinary man, God-fearing, obedient, and
frankly dull. Eve, on the other hand, well she was a Bad
Girl. For one thing, she had a huge imagination, and
therefore a slightly different agenda than the one God had
in mind. She knew she would have to call on one hell of a
power if she was going to get Adam to do what she wanted
instead of what God wanted. And this power was olfaction.
Fragrance. How she knew this, nobody knows. But I’m
telling you this: Eve used olfaction to bypass Adam’s
unimaginative brain and trick him into eating the apple.
How did she do it?
Simple. She just held the apple under Adam’s nose and
said, “Adam, Honey. You gotta just smell this apple!”
The rest is history. The use of olfaction, fragrances, and
perfumes to transform perceptions is the oldest Bad Girl
trick in the book. And it’s still as powerful today as it ever
was.
Not surprisingly, the savviest Bad Girls throughout history
have known about this power and used it to achieve their
infamous ends. Eve, of course, but also Cleopatra,
Catherine de Medici, Scarlet O’Hara, and pop star
Madonna are obvious examples. But there are many more
that you might not suspect, such as Florence Nightingale,
Herm-i-o-ne Granger, and The Little Mermaid.
Beyond the shadow of a doubt perfume is the most
powerful ally and accomplice a Bad Girl can have.
And yet, I find it astonishing that a lot of people, including
many of my Bad Girl friends who are absolute aces at
managing other Bad Girl tricks, don’t have a clue about the
true power of perfume or how to use it for advancing their
own agendas.
This is ridiculous. Perfume is not rocket science. At least,
not for us Bad Girls. Indeed, the most important fact worth
remembering about perfume is that we’re the ones who
invented the whole damn thing in the first place! Perfume is
our story. Just as much a part of us as our DNA. Using
perfume to carry out our Bad Girl objectives is as natural to
us as any other Bad Girl things we do. There are just a few
little things to remember, tips to share, and well, tales to
tell….
Example of A Bad Girl Mentor
The Mermaid
From time immemorial, Bad Girl Mermaids have been
calling men away from firm footing on land to deep water,
hidden shoals, or ever-receding horizons. Early mermaid
legends date as far back as 1000 BC in what is now Syria,
but the most enduring myth in our time comes from the
“Syrenes” in Homer’s Odyssey.
In Greek mythology, sirens were creatures
with voices of angels, upper bodies of beautiful women,
and the cold hearts of man-eating, fishlike predators. They
sat on rocks and shores and sang so seductively and
compellingly that anyone who heard them was so possessed
that they rushed to certain doom.
Ah yes, much has been written about the songs of
Mermaids. Yet I’m here to tell you that Mermaids’ real
power is in their fragrance. Homer, of course, omitted any
details of mermaid fragrances in his tales, but it doesn’t
take much imagination to know they would smell like some
combination of the tropical flowers they wore in their hair,
the fruits and coconuts that grew on their islands, and the
bracing ozone-y air of breaking waves. Most importantly,
however, the most fascinating and alluring thing about a
mermaid is the animalic, female odor of her tail. Without
her tail or the odor of her tail, the mermaid loses at least
half of her power, as we shall see.
In contrast to Homer’s Mermaids who were clearly and
powerfully predatory, the mermaid in Hans Christian
Andersen’s 1837 tale, The Little Mermaid is portrayed as
being innocent, sweet, and sometimes even helpful toward
men. I don’t buy this Mermaid “good intentions”
interpretation for one minute. For one thing, anyone with
even a cursory understanding of mermaid physiology is
going to know her intentions would have to be “conflicted”
at best, which definitely qualifies her as a Bad Girl. The
way I see it, we never get a chance to see the true intentions
of Andersen’s little mermaid simply because once on dry
land she has no power to carry them out. You’ll remember
that before she came ashore as a woman, she traded her
fragrant mermaid tail for the much longed for legs of a
human. Indeed, without the fragrance of her tail,
Andersen’s “sweet” little Mermaid finds that her powers
of seduction are considerably diminished.
The moral to this Mermaid’s tale lies in the Mermaid’s tail.
When venturing on to the shores of man, a well-advised
Bad Girl Mermaid should never leave her tail – or at least
the fragrance of her tail – behind.
Modern perfumery to the rescue. Taking cues from
mermaid history, numerous perfume brands have rallied to
the Bad Girl Mermaid’s cause by concocting an abundance
of quite effective fragrances to help them achieve their
ends.
Starting in 1927, Jean Patou created Huile de Chaldée, the
first commercial perfumed suntan oil (AKA Bad Girl
Mermaid tail fragrance). Patou loaded Huile de Chaldée
with hot sultry mermaid fragrances such as tropical florals,
vanilla, and amber. A single whiff conjured an abundance
of tanned, oiled, fragrant, and glowing flesh, beaded with
droplets of salt water, exposed in the skimpiest of attire
against the most primal of backdrops − sun, sand, and surf.
Recognizing a huge and hungry market for the
unique powers of his fragrance, Patou created a perfume
called simply Chaldée using the same notes as Huile de
Chaldée.
Huile de Chaldée inspired the creation of many other
suntan oil companies, and variations on Patou’s fragrance
formula become the signature of marine and beach
fragrances for years to come. In France, the best-known
brand to follow the sun after Huile de Chaldée was
L’Oréal’s Ambre Solaire in 1935, which like Huile de
Chaldée oozed with the aroma of tropical flowers. Across
the Atlantic, Coppertone captured the coco-nutty appeal of
tropical paradises.
But it didn’t stop here. Following Patou’s lead, many
fragrance companies simply bypassed the suntan lotion
aspect of the product, and created perfumes that mimic the
sensual notes of suntan oils. Eau des Merveilles by Hermès,
for example, echoes the warm and sultry notes of Patou’s
Huile de Chaldée, Bond No.9’s Fire Island captures Ambre
Solaire’ s enthralling smell of warm skin on hot sand, while
Estée Lauder’s Bronze Goddess and Guerlain’s Lys Soleia
recall the sultry notes of Bain de Soleil.
In the 1980s and 90s, a parallel strand of marine or
“aquatic” fragrances emerged from the tides following the
availability of calone, a synthetic raw material with an
ethereal, ozon-y smell, evoking sensations of breaking
waves, sea-breezes, and marine life.
Today, Bad Girl Mermaids have access to hundreds of
mermaid fragrances, and though often drenched in sunshine
or the ozone-y energy of a bracing ocean breeze, they also
carry a warning in their angelic harmonies: obsessive
longings for the unfulfilled and that which can never be −
an impossible union; an endless summer.
Fragrances so powerful that they are simultaneously
dangerous and compelling are basic equipment for Bad Girl
Mermaids.
Imagine, for a moment how the story of Hans Christian
Andersen’s Little Mermaid might be different if she were
to come ashore today. In this case, the “innocent” little
mermaid would be able to deploy the full power of
mermaid fragrances, and her Bad Girl Mermaid intentions
would be clearly evident. Assuming she’s a local girl, she
might choose Zarko Perfume’s e´L, a mermaid fragrance
native to Denmark, with sensual floral green ozone-y sea
notes. If, on the other hand, she has swum over from
Ireland, she would surely wear Fragrances of Ireland’s Inis,
which means “the Energy of the Sea.” If she comes from
further afield, she might well wear Givenchy’s Fleur
d’Interdit, a floral, green, ozon-y, and aquatic suntan
fragrance, Calvin Klein’s romantic and feminine Escape
with its hint of marine breezes, or perhaps even Issey
Myake’s ozon-y and other worldly L’Eau d’Issey.
Instead of pining away for the love of The
Handsome Prince, Our Little Bad Girl Mermaid would be
happily lounging on the beach in some of her favorite
fragrances, while a much less cocky Prince would be
fighting off her potential boy toy suitors with a stick.
*The Girl from Ipanema
More recently and across the sea in Brazil, “The Girl from
Ipanema” a child of the 60s, would unquestionably have
been
deploying the powers of Coppertone, by far the suntan
lotion
(AKA mermaid tail fragrance) of choice for several
decades
worth of North and South American Bad Girl Mermaids.
Though walking on tall and tan human legs, The Girl from
Ipanema was clearly a Mermaid, and a very, very Bad Girl
Mermaid, at that. Having most carelessly aroused the
longings
and desires of Brazilian musicians Antonio Carlos Jobim
and Vinicius de Moraes through the irresistible sillage of
her Coppertone, she went on to ignite those same longings
and desires of every man on every beach − from here to
eternity.
Who among us, man or woman, has not been moved by
The Girl from Ipanema? The unattainable beach
girl. A walking, strolling Mermaid.