Enhancing Resilience 2
COPING
Stress and Coping
for Middle / Senior Secondary
Health / Personal Development
Contents
Coping Author: Helen Cahill
Activities for the Health or Personal Development class,
middle to upper secondary
Rationale ..................................................................................21
20
Session 1
Making meaning ......................................................23
Session 2
Stressful self-talk........................................................28
Session 3
Mope, hope or cope ................................................33
Session 4
Getting help ............................................................47
Session 5
Getting it said ..........................................................51
Session 6
Is it the same for boys and girls? ..............................57
Session 7
The ‘experts’ speak ....................................................60
Coping
Rationale
In this unit, students identify some of the
stresses and challenges young people
have to deal with, and explore the range
of emotions commonly associated with
feelings of stress. They explore the role
of self-talk and metaphors in our
perceptions of challenge and self. They
learn techniques for using positive selftalk, and explore a range of coping
strategies, addressing, their usefulness in
respect to a range of scenarios. Students
address the challenges inherent in
seeking help, and explore a range of
ways to tell people about their own or a
friends’ needs or concerns.
Students also consider the cultural and
gender-based pressures which affect the
ways they express their needs, and
advise young people how best to deal
with a range of challenging situations in
which a young person may be finding it
difficult to cope.
Small groups, paired work, guided
discussion, role-play, games and
problem-based scenarios are used to
engage students at a practical, skillsbased and reflective level.
What is ‘coping’?
A definition
‘Coping is what one does: it is the
cognitive and behavioural strategies that
are used to deal with the demands of
everyday living. The thoughts, feelings and
actions make up the coping strategies that
are called on to varying extents in
particular circumstances to manage
concerns. Coping skills can be developed
through previous experience, observing
others, perceptions of one’s own biological
disposition, social persuasion ...’
(Frydenberg, Adolescent Coping)
Each of us uses a repertoire of coping
strategies. These are made up of our
thoughts, feelings and actions. We each
use a range of strategies to help us deal
with the challenges of our daily lives.
Example
Two students fear the possibility of
failure in an exam. Student A copes by
working harder, asking for help and
letting off steam by playing sport with
friends. Student B copes by avoiding the
work, denying the fear and letting off
steam by drinking and partying on the
weekends.
Student A finds her coping strategies
have caused people to voice their
encouragement, praise and sympathy.
Student B finds her coping strategies
have caused an increase in criticism from
parents and complaints from teachers.
21
National curriculum
framework
Health and Physical Education
Strand: Human Relations
Level 6
• identify particular values they
consider to be absolute and nonnegotiable
(such as, respect and tolerance for
diversity)
• consider ethical dilemmas such as
whether to breach confidentiality
when a friend is clearly in serious
need.
Learning outcome:
‘Analyses the ways individuals and
groups may seek to influence the
behaviour of others’
Evident when students:
• examine, discuss and practise skills of
negotiation, problem-solving and
help-seeking
• identify social barriers to help-seeking
for self or others when challenged by
stressful personal situations
• examine the influence of others’
expectations on ways in which
members of a class or broader
community group support each other
in dealing with stress or change.
‘Explains how social and cultural factors
influence what people feel and do about
their own personal identity’
Evident when students:
• explain how individuals may be
affected by the fear of failure or
cultural or social notions as to what
are acceptable coping or help-seeking
strategies for a young male or female
• identify the sorts of challenging
personal circumstances which could
jeopardise the mental or physical
health of a young person.
Learning outcome:
State and territory curriculum
frameworks
‘Analyses how different contexts and
situations influence personal values,
attitudes, beliefs and behaviours’
Refer to the MindMatters website for
details of how MindMatters fits with state
or territory curriculum frameworks.
Evident when students:
www.curriculum.edu.au/mindmatters
• discuss ideas about adapting personal
values, attitudes, beliefs and
behaviour patterns to suit different
group expectations and
circumstances (such as, beliefs that
one must cope on one’s own, or that
stress is a sign of weakness)
22
Learning outcome:
SESSION
1
Making
meaning
Intention
In this session it is intended that students:
• develop a definition of stress
• identify and give examples of different types of stressors
commonly encountered by young people
• identify some of the images or metaphors by which we
explain or understand stress
• explore the role of images, metaphor and language in
shaping how we cope with or perceive stressful situations
• identify some of the emotions commonly associated with
feelings of stress.
Resources
• Large sheets of paper
• Marker pens
• Class set of photocopies of Activity sheet: Stress
A definition
Coping is what one does:
the thoughts, feelings and
behaviours that are called on
to varying extents in particular
circumstances to manage
concerns. Coping skills can be
developed through previous
experience, observing others,
perceptions of one’s own
biological disposition, and
social persuasion. Coping is
a form of adaptation to the
challenge of the environment
where the individual and the
environment are engaged
in an interactive process.
The individual reacts to the
environment as they perceive
it. The situation affects the
person and the person affects
the situation.
How to
ACTIVITY 1: What do we mean by stress?
1. Ask students to imagine that they are about to explain to an
alien what human beings mean by stress. Ask them to talk
with the person next to them to develop a definition –
‘Stress is when ....’ – and write their ideas down in point
form after they have talked about it.
2. Compare some of the different definitions the pairs have
generated.
3. Collect phrases designed by the class and write them on the
board.
4. Ask what they notice about what stress means to different
people.
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5. Does the word challenge mean the same thing to you?
Why /why not?
Classroom rules
No put-downs. Have this as a
rule for every class. Act when
you hear infringements on this
rule. Ignoring breaches can
be interpreted as condoning
the action.
6. What can be some of the physical sensations or effects of
stress on the body?
7. Students should write the following down in their
workbooks.
• My definition of stress is...
• My definition of challenge is...
ACTIVITY 2: Stress spotters
Belonging
Point out that for human beings
belonging is very important.
We all fear exclusion and
often think it means there is
something wrong with us if we
aren’t included in something.
1. Divide students into groups of around four or five in size.
(Use a grouping game such as coloured cards, or numbering
off. See Games collection in Enhancing Resilience 1.)
2. Set each group the task of brainstorming around the question:
• What are some of the stresses and challenges people
around your age can face?
Groups
Why do these activities in pairs
or groups? So students find out
that they are not alone in their
fears, and so they get practice
in talking with others, building
the social skills necessary if they
are to effectively use ‘seeking
social support’ as a coping
strategy. Working with others is
also a way to energise a class
and bring some fun into the
learning challenge.
3. As groups report back, have two scribes collect a
comprehensive list on large sheets of paper. (Keep for
display and use in following session.)
4. Use the following questions to assist in development of a
comprehensive list.
Sample questions
• What sorts of stresses in the physical environment can
directly affect how you feel either physically or emotionally?
• What sorts of stresses or challenges can happen in
relationships or between people?
• What sorts of stresses or challenges occur to do with
particular happenings or events (leaving school, family
breakup)?
Chapter 3 (‘Diversity and
wellbeing’) explores how a
person’s social and cultural
context can cause stress.
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• What are some of the fears, anxieties or thoughts that can
get people feeling stressed?
ACTIVITY 3: Making stressburgers – metaphors for
stress
Nicknames
Don’t use nicknames for
students, unless they are a
preferred abbreviation of their
name. Nicknames are often a
put-down in disguise. Students
do not always feel free to say
they don’t wish to be called by
a nickname. Ask all students
to use regular names when in
class – even if they don’t do
that elsewhere. The classroom
is a public space and hence
rules of courtesy apply.
1. Hand out the Activity sheet: Stress to the class. Ask them to
look at the stressburger image. Sometimes people say their
stress feels like being the meat in the sandwich or pressure
from both sides.
2. There are other images of stress on the page (being
stretched, being trapped in a box, balancing on a tightrope,
jumping out of an aeroplane, juggling balls, negotiating an
obstacle course, tossing pancakes, doing 10 things at once).
These are pictures or metaphors for stress; ways of
describing what it feels like.
3. Which images give the impression that the person has some
control or say in what happens?
4. Ask each student to record in the stressburger image and in
the pancake tosser image some of the key or common
stressors or challenges from the class brainstorm.
Teacher talk
Stress can be seen by some as a challenge or an opportunity, by
others as a nightmare or trap. People who can imagine or
visualise themselves handling their challenges or stresses in a
positive way, with an image of themselves having some power
or control, are able to bounce back better after tough times.
Top athletes often use mind pictures to visualise themselves
conquering a challenge. Regular people can also
work at inventing or imagining pictures of themselves
succeeding, and this can help them to get on with things or to
be their best in a situation where they fear failure,
embarrassment or hard work. Think how easy it is to get
pictures in your mind of yourself failing or stuffing up. It takes
mental muscle for humans to build up the opposite pictures.
Psychological research has shown that people who can learn to
do this are more likely to survive and succeed. It’s not how
brainy you are – it’s how you use what you’ve got!
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Workbook
• A person who feels there is nothing they can do about the
stresses or challenges they face might picture their stress as
(suggest four different images):
• A person who faces stressful or challenging circumstances
but sees themselves as having some control or playing a big
part in how they turn out might see their stress more like
(suggest four different images):
• Some things which cause stress can be changed by an
individual. These may include things such as:
• Some of the things that cause stress may be outside a
person’s control. These may be things such as:
• What are some of the ways in which people cope with
circumstances they can’t change?
Homework
Practise imagining yourself succeeding at things you find
challenging. Imagine yourself managing with ease situations
you find embarrassing or uncomfortable. Make up a film clip to
play over in your head. If you find it hard to picture yourself
managing or succeeding, but easy to picture yourself failing or
stuffing up, then this is just a sign that you need to practise this
skill and get your positive thinking muscle trained up and
exercised.
A Mental Health Promotion strategy
Ensure all staff are aware of how to pass on
concerns about a student’s emotional
or mental health
26
S tr es s
The way we think about
a situation is part of what
makes that situation stressful.
People who can picture
themselves having some
control or power over what
happens or how they handle
a situation bounce back better
in tough times. One person
might see an impossible barrier,
another person might see a
challenge and an obstacle to
be overcome.
S tr es sj u g gle r
S t r e s s b urg er
27
SESSION
2
Stressful
self-talk
Intention
In this session it is intended that students:
• identify some of the emotions commonly associated with
feelings of stress
• identify the role of self-talk in our perceptions of challenge
and self
• explore the role of self-talk in generating stress
• identify techniques for using positive self-talk as a coping
strategy.
Resources
• Activity sheets: Stress under the surface and Getting into your
head
ACTIVITY 1: Looking under the surface
1. Remind students that in the last session they identified the
sorts of things people can feel stressed about and some of
the challenges people can encounter. In this session they are
going to look at some of the feelings that are often
underneath or part of our stress, or may come up when we
are faced with challenging circumstances.
Referral
If you are concerned about a
student in your class, follow-up
afterwards. Talk to the student.
Refer the matter to the welfare
teacher. Continue to monitor.
2. Look at the image on the Activity sheet: Stress under the
surface showing the happy mask with a person experiencing
other emotions beneath the surface.
3. Brainstorm a list of situations in which a person may feel
stressed about a particular issue (such as, a friendship
breaking up, overdue work).
4. Choose one of the situations from the list. For that particular
situation, ask the class which emotions or feelings could be
below the surface.
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5. Conduct a group brainstorm with the class. Name the
emotions which the person may really be experiencing.
Feelings could include: afraid, anxious, ashamed, guilty,
angry, used, rejected, disappointed, let-down, powerless,
thwarted, frustrated, unappreciated, lonely, jealous,
betrayed, hurt, powerless, unloved, unwanted, proud,
defiant, determined, relieved, hopeful... Point out that
people can have many emotions at once.
6. Repeat the question, applied to other stressful situations
(overdue work, moving school, talking in front of the whole
school, competing in a big event) until you have developed
a comprehensive list and a sense of shared language.
7. Point out that not everyone has all of these emotions every
time they feel stressed, but that noticing which ones are
there can give us clues about what to do to cope.
8. Ask students to complete their own Under the surface activity
sheet. They can choose a stressful incident from the class
brainstorm list and write in emotions or feelings which may
occur underneath the surface for someone in that situation.
ACTIVITY 2: What is self-talk?
Act it out
Running some ‘Inside the
heads’ competitions, or acting
out self-talk,. is a way to bring
humour into the class. Humour
is a coping strategy associated
with resilience. It is used more
by boys than girls. Girls can
benefit from learning to use
humour to gain perspective,
just as boys can benefit from
learning to use talk or social
support as a way to build trust
and connectedness.
1. Tell the class you are going to be using a term called self-talk
and that what you mean by this is the talk that goes on
inside your head. Self-talk is the things you say to yourself
without necessarily saying them aloud.
2. Give some examples:
• ‘I’m so dumb – everyone else is better than me.’
• ‘Everyone is looking at me.’
• ‘That was so stupid, why did I say that.’
• ‘l’m going to stuff this up.’
3. Explain that the talk we do in our head can have a big
impact on how we cope or perform under challenge. An
athlete who listens to ‘I’m going to come last’ before s /he
starts the race may not run as well. A basketballer who
listens to ‘I’m going to miss this one’ might not shoot so
well for a goal. A student who listens to ‘This is too hard for
me’ before s /he starts a maths session, might not be free to
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Mandatory reporting
Under mandatory reporting
laws, the teacher is obliged to
report an ongoing situation
which places a student at
serious risk. Be aware of the
procedures for reporting and
referral used in your school.
Reporting back
A group shares their thinking
with the whole class, an activity
to promote peer-led learning.
Promote participation by
sharing the reporting
tasks around.
learn from any mistakes but might only be free to feel upset
about them. A person who listens to ‘No-one will like me’
may not see welcoming signals or friendly looks.
4. If negative self-talk (where you put yourself down or scare
yourself off) comes automatically to someone, they might
have to deliberately make up or learn how to put into their
heads some positive self-talk.
5. Complete a positive and negative self-talk example with the
class. Choose a stressful situation for a fictitious person.
Brainstorm with the class some positive and some negative
self-talk lines for the person. (Refer to examples on the
Activity sheet: Getting into your head.)
6. Ask students to work in pairs or trios to complete the Activity
sheet: Getting into your head. Each group should choose a
situation of interest to them using the class brainstorm list
from the previous session as a source of suggestions.
7. Ask for some students to share their talking heads.
ACTIVITY 3: Picture it
Draw a picture or cartoon, or design a symbol to express
feeling ‘up’ and another to express feeling ‘down’.
Teacher talk
Point out that if it is true that negative thoughts come more
easily to us than positive thoughts – then we as human beings
will have to be alert to the need to debunk these, and look out
for our friends when they are being taken over by negative
thoughts.
Imagine a coach yelling to his team – ‘You’re useless! You’re
going to miss the ball! You’ll never score! Give up!’
To be our own coach or each other’s coach, we have to be able
to yell ‘Go for it! You can do it! Train hard! Practice! Work out!
Losing a game doesn’t mean we give up!’
A Mental Health Promotion strategy
Provide accessible counselling services
30
S tr es s
under the surface
When someone is facing a situation of stress or challenge,
they may have a mix of feelings underneath the surface
afraid
ed
anxious
ed
unappreciat
frustrate
m
sha
a
guilty
lonely
The stress
______________
hurt
d
betrayed
______________
d
ove
unl
______________
defiant
proud
sad
mad
let-down
thw
relieved
art
ed
jea
hopeful
lou
s
determined
disapp
ointed
angry
used
ed
erless
unwanted
ct
reje
pow
31
Getting into your head
Self-talk is what you say to yourself in your head. You can send yourself negative and positive
messages. Sending only negative messages to yourself is a way to give yourself a tough time.
People in training to be their best (like at sport) deliberately make up and listen to positive selftalk messages. This helps them cope and perform better when they face a challenge.
Girl getting dressed for a party
Positive thoughts: I’ll have fun, I look okay as I am, my friends like me the way I am
Negative thoughts: I’m too fat, I won’t know what to say, I won’t fit in
Thinking about
______________
______________
Boy having a problem with school work
Positive thoughts: I’ll get this with a bit more work, I can catch up, I can get help
Negative thoughts: I’m dumb, people will laugh at me, I’ll just get told off for being behind
32
SESSION
3
Mope,
hope or cope
Intention
In this session it is intended that students:
• describe a range of coping strategies available to those
encountering stressful or challenging situations
• identify some of their own preferred coping strategies
• compare different coping strategies in the context of
particular scenarios, identifying those likely to be useful and
those less likely to be useful
• assess some of the possible effects stressful circumstances
can have on the physical, social and mental health of
individuals and groups.
Different people,
different reactions
It is important to normalise
the fact that people react
differently. What one person
finds very stressful may not
concern another. An exam can
worry one person more than
another. Even in a family,
parents separating can affect
one member of the family more
than another.
Paired sharing
A technique for maximising
involvement and participation.
Complete prior to a whole class
discussion so students have
had time to think and speak
before talking in front of the
whole class.
Resources
• Activity sheet: Cope cards – cut into separate cards
• Activity sheet: Bunches of fives
How to
ACTIVITY 1: Identifying coping strategies
1. Remind students that in previous sessions they identified the
sorts of things people can feel stressed about, and some of
the thoughts and feelings they can have when faced with
challenging or stressful circumstances. In this session they
are going to look at the various strategies people use to
cope with situations of challenge, change or stress.
2. Use a paired sharing structure (turn to the person next to
you, or make a trio if the numbers work that way) and ask
students to swap some examples of things they like to do
when they feel stressed or overworked.
33
Culture
Be aware that different cultures
and family groups have
different views about what is
honourable or appropriate as a
response. Be prepared to
acknowledge that different
views exist about what is right
or wrong. Emphasise the school
code of conduct and remind
students that rules govern
schools and work places,
particularly in regard to
violence, sexual harassment
and racial or religious
discrimination. Ask questions
about the effects of actions on
others. Seek opportunities for
inquiry rather than judgement.
Circle
When you sit the class in a
circle, a powerful message is
sent about who are the key
players in the session and in
the discussion – everyone!
3. Ask around the room and record one of the strategies
mentioned in each group (use a scribe to write down one
strategy per slip of paper). Acknowledge the variety. Add
these to the cope cards collection for the next activity.
Teacher talk
Explain that the things people do in response to stress or
challenge are called coping strategies. Point out that you will be
dealing today with a huge breadth and variety of coping
strategies. Looking at the range is important because there is no
one right way of coping – people who cope effectively have a
whole range of things they do, using different responses in
different situations. People learn to cope more effectively as part
of growing up; they can learn a lot about how to cope from
watching what their friends and family do.
ACTIVITY 2: Coping collections
(Use the Activity sheet: Cope cards)
1. Seat the class in a circle. Explain that the cards that are
spread face up on the floor are ‘cope cards’– each one has
on it a coping strategy that people sometimes use to help
them deal with challenge or stress. When they are spread
out, ask all students to choose two cards each (collect and
remove the rest).
2. Ask students to choose one of the cards and to hold this one
up at chest height so it can be read by others.
3. Explain to the class that you will describe a situation of
potential stress or challenge. They will then be asked to
move to a defined place in the room according to whether
they think their coping strategy would be:
• helpful
• not much use
• useless
• harmful.
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4. Describe a scenario (you may wish to choose from the
brainstorm list generated in session 1):
• faced with a big exam
• dealing with separation of parents
• confronted by a drunk stranger.
Expressing needs,
feelings or wishes
When people say ‘I need…’
or ‘I feel…’ these are called ‘I’
statements. More commonly
people in conflict make ‘You’
statements which sound more
like blame or accusation.
Finding out what the other
person needs or feels can
be a useful strategy, as well
as telling about one’s own
needs or feelings.
‘What can we do about this?’ is
another useful question.
5. When students have grouped, have them compare and
comment on their choices. Then ask them to put their other
coping card on top and regroup if they think this card
belongs to a different category.
6. Play a few rounds of the game to emphasise the point that
different situations may call for different coping strategies.
(Allow humour and dispute to arise. There are no right or
wrong answers here.)
7. Use the following questions to assist in exploring issues
around choice of coping strategies.
Sample questions
• When could a response like ‘work harder’ be an unhealthy
thing to do?
• When can responses like ‘ignoring the problem’ or ‘partying’
be useful?
• Is using only one strategy the best way to handle a
situation?
• Many people feel lonely when they are down – what can be
done at times like this?
Teacher talk
Each of us has a range of different ways to cope, and often we
use a different coping strategy according to what the situation
is. An important thing to aim for is to have a lot of different
coping strategies so that you are not depending on one or two
that are not suited to a particular situation.
It is also important to know when to get support or help for
yourself or someone else.
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ACTIVITY 3: Bunch of fives
1. Explain to students that in this activity they will be building
a combination or collection of coping strategies as a
recommended response to a challenging situation. Point out
that challenges are often ongoing, and that people often
have to deal with them for long periods of time. Having
more than one coping strategy could be essential to health
or success.
2. Give out the Activity sheet: Bunches of fives. Students will use
this worksheet as a place to design and record a collection
of coping strategies which would be useful in particular
situations.
3. From the brainstorm list generated in session 1, each
student should choose three stressful or challenging
situations. Encourage them to choose ones which they or
their friends are likely to encounter one day.
4. For each of the three situations, students must design five
different coping options which they feel to be a healthy
response (one that won’t hurt yourself or others, or make
the situation worse). They can select from the range seen in
the previous class activity. There are some prompts around
the edge of the page.
A Mental Health Promotion strategy
Provide private areas for talk
36
Activity sheet: Cope cards
(copy and cut for distribution)
withdraw
(not talk or mix
with them)
visit a
favourite
person
quit
(the team,
the job)
play
computer
games
eat more
avoid or put
off something
you have to do
37
prioritise
(put the most
important
things first)
fantasise
(daydream
an escape )
plan
(make a plan
of what to do or
how to do it)
start a fight
think positive
about how it
will turn out
worry
go for a run
party /
socialise
38
eat less
run away
get sick
blame
someone
else
blame
yourself
ask for help
?
talk it over
39
40
have a
shower
drink
alcohol
work harder
meditate
pretend
it’s okay
watch
television
smoke
cigarettes
go out
play sport
complain
change
direction
41
42
go to
bed early
exercise
stay up late
sit it out
listen
to music
joke
or laugh
problem-solve
find new
friends
cry
set goals
take risks
see a
counsellor
eat
junk food
43
sleep
more
call friends
write
about it
cook
something
sleep less
walk
the dog
go shopping
44
pray
draw / paint
take a
day off
tidy up
go for
a swim
tell everyone
how bad it is
for you
make
something
45
Bunches of fives
Some challenges last for a long time. When facing a challenging situation, a range of
coping strategies is best. Strategies useful in one situation may not be useful in another.
play computer games
Stressful situation
watch television
talk it over
Coping strategies
go for a run
work harder
problem-solve
ask for help
see a counsellor
visit a favourite person
think positively
Stressful situation
about how
it will turn out
Coping strategies
go for a ride
Stressful situation
Coping strategies
set goals
pray
walk the dog
write about it
joke or laugh
play sport
make something
draw / paint
Stressful situation
Coping strategies
call friends
meditate
go out
exercise
party / socialise
go shopping
have a shower
go for a swim
prioritise (put the most
complain
important things first)
tidy up
take a day off
listen to music
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For each stressful situation you define,
find five useful coping strategies.
Write them in.