SG: the year in review
Many cultures have the notion that after different phases of
an individual’s life, they will be judged.
Ancient Egyptians believed that after death, the god Anubis
weighed a person’s heart against a feather, which represented
the truth. If the heart weighed less than the feather, the
soul would be carried to Aaru, a happy place. A person’s heart
found to weigh more than the feather was eaten by the demon
Ammit, and its owner would be stuck in Duat, a not-so-happy
place. Christians believe in a final judgment, a time at the
end of the world where all people, living and dead, will face
judgment for their actions.
Indeed, the Egyptians had Anubis, Christians have the final
judgment; former Student Government President and Vice
President Amy Steves and Camie Corrigan have Blase Hennessy.
If you recall a year ago, I wrote a column on certain campaign
promises Steves and Corrigan made while running for SG. I
promised the student body I would hold their leaders
accountable; that I would sit down with Steves and Corrigan
and ask them a series of questions about their campaign
promises. Imagine having a whole year to study for a test with
only six simple questions. However, like many people at the
hour of death who fear “meeting their maker,” Steves and
Corrigan simply did not want to sit down and answer the big
questions with me.
After several canceled meetings with Steves and Corrigan, a
bout of feigned illnesses, and a plethora of other excuses
from Corrigan, I finally ran into Steves at Beaners. While she
wouldn’t agree to an interview, she e-mailed me a copy of the
“State of the Students” address where I was told I could find
all the answers to my questions. I’ll compare “answers” given
in this address to how I, an average student on campus, think
they should have been answered.
“Did you make a research showcase?” In the address, Steves
said, “We have laid the foundation for the program to be run
by the Office of the Provost.” Much like President George W.
Bush’s exit strategy for Iraq, this answer seems quite
shrouded in mystery. To answer the question, though, I can’t
find a research showcase anywhere on campus, though, to be
fair, I recently had a hard time finding Carter Hall.
“Do we have a ‘degree audit decoder?'” I talked to Corrigan
about this one. I’m told that next year, the Information
Technology department is including a degree audit decoder that
will allow students to just click on classes needed and be
enrolled in them. To answer the question, no, there isn’t a
degree audit decoder, but it sounds like we should be getting
one.
“Do students now have a one-stop internship location?” It’s
too bad the degree audit decoder didn’t exist earlier to sign
me up for some sort of reading comprehension class because I
can’t quite make sense of Corrigan’s word puzzle about the
one-stop internship location in the address. To sum up the
answer to the question, no, such a magical place does not
exist.
“Is there a student block watch program?” I set up a
scientific experiment to find the exact time and date the
student block watch program came into effect. Every week I’d
have one of my buddies jump me and steal my wallet, as I
screamed for help from the student block watch. The help never
came. According to Steves, UT Police Chief Jeff Newton has
begun to recruit students to participate in the program. A
note to these students: don’t volunteer unless you’re given a
billy club.
“Has Dorr Street been developed?” Steves, Corrigan and I all
agree: no.
“Are there DVD machines in residence halls, movies on UTTV,
(and) lot full signs?” According to Corrigan, DVD machines
were “not a worthwhile investment.” Sorry! I’m told that there
are movies on UTTV, though I’m still not sure how to tune in.
As for lot full signs, don’t worry, they are being “included
in the 10-year facilities plan.”
I imagine it’s tough to be an SG president or vice president,
I’ve heard about the amount of time and effort that goes into
it. While campaign promises may have been met, (you can judge
for yourself) I think the most important thing to remember is
that Amy and Camie were working for us, the students of this
university. If you see them around, say “thank you.”