Parent Tips
October 2010
Understanding
Peer Pressure
T
he influence of peers – whether positive or negative – is one of the major influencers in your teen’s life. The opinions and examples set by peers can carry more weight than parents. As a parent you can help your child navigate peer pressure better if you understand how it works.
P
eer pressure is the natural pressure we all feel to adjust our
actions or attitudes in order to fit in or be admired.
T
he desire to feel accepted is especially strong during the middle school years; therefore peer pressure plays a particularly
large role in the lives of early teenagers. During early adolescence,
young people start to spend more time with their friends and less
with their families. At this age, it is normal and healthy for your
teen to become more independent and to try out different roles
and situations to figure out who they are and how they fit into the world.
H
owever, be aware that as your teen tries new things, peer
pressure will influence their actions and choices. On the negative
side, it can lead teens to do things that they know are wrong,
dangerous, or risky – like skipping class or smoking cigarettes. On the positive side it can inspire teens to set goals, learn social
skills for independence, study hard, and achieve goals they might
never have aimed for on their own.
HOW CAN YOU PREPARE YOUR
TEEN FOR PEER PRESSURE?
• S
trengthen the bond with your teen. Research indicates that
teens who feel they can get support at home are less likely to be
negatively influenced by peers.
• P
romote your teen’s self-esteem. Consistently remind your teen
of their positive characteristics and good qualities.
• S
et a good example. Model healthy choices for your teen in
big and small ways.
WHEN FACING PEER PRESSURE
• A
rrange a bail out code. Together come up with something your
teen can use when around their peers to save face. For example,
“Mom, can you come drive me home I have a terrible earache”
can be a code that means “rescue me because I’m being pressured
to drink.”
• F
ind a way to leave the scene. Teach your child that they can leave
If they don’t like where things are heading. For example, saying
that they need to be somewhere else if their peers begin to talking
about going to beat somebody up.
• G
ive a reason why it’s a bad idea. Maybe your teen doesn’t
want to drink because they know of a family member or family
friend who abuses drugs or alcohol and can see how that has
destroyed their life. Backing up their refusal with evidence can
give it more power.
• M
ake a joke. Sometimes humor is the best way to respond to
Peer Pressure. It can lighten the mood and make it clear that they are not willing to seriously consider the negative choice
ractice acting-out the scenarios above with your teen! It may seem
P
unnatural and its OK if it makes you both laugh but it can go a long
way in helping them to be prepared when the situation arises.
POSITIVE PEER PRESSURE
Peers can also have a positive influence on each other. Imagine if
your child and a friend share a love of video games and the friend
becomes interested in computer science. Your child may discover
that they also love technology and video games evolve into serious
study. Young people who love to play football with their friends may be more interested in taking care of their fitness and resisting
drugs and alcohol. Your child might admire a friend who is always
thoughtful and polite and try to be more like him or her. These are examples of how peers positively influence each other every day.
Other ways peers can encourage each other in positive ways are by:
• Developing healthy values and positive attitudes and habits
• Demonstrating respect for each others
• Trying new positive activities in a safe environment
• Working hard at school
• Being a good friend
• P
ut on a party. Invite your teen to have friends over for a
get-together or barbecue so you can get to know them.
• T
rust your teen. Share with your teen that you have confidence
in their ability to make good choices.
25 Point Finger Road, Paget DV 04 | Mailing: P.O. Box HM 681, Hamilton HM CS Bermuda
T: 441 232 1116 | F: 441 236 0607 | E: [email protected] | www.tfc.bm
If you would like more information on this topic you can contact Family Centre and ask to speak with the
Community Support Worker at 232 -1116.