Communicating technology
5
• Principles of readability:
- Put action into the verb
• Assignment 4
Task 5-1
The following text contains several instances of the weak verb.
Can you spot the places where a weak verb could be replaced
by a more specific & active verb.
The circulation of cooling water in ship engines is
is done
done at two
temperature levels. 2LT water is
is the lower temperature cooling
is between 35 °C and 50 °C . 4The higher
water. 3Its temperature is
temperature cooling water is
is HT water. 5Its temperature isis
approximately 90 °C. 6There isis a possibility of utilizing the waste
heat of the cooling water onboard. 7For example, the production of
is often
water onboard is
often done
done in multi-staged evaporators, and HT
water can provide the primary heat for the process. 8Currently,
there is no simulation programme that can do
do the calculation of
the thermal powers in the heat recovery circle. 9The aim of this
making
study is
is the development of a simulation program for making
reliable estimations of how much heat is released into the cooling
water circle by the main diesel engines.
1
Task 5-1
Can you improve the sentences by using a more specific & active verb?
11The
The cooling
circulation
waterofincooling
ship engines
water isincirculated
ship engines
is done
at two temperature levels.
22LT
Lower
temperature
refers
cooling
the lower
water
temperature
is referred
cooling
to
aswater.
LT
water
is
the to
lower
temperature
cooling
water.
water.
3Its
temperature varies
is between
35°C
between
35°Cand
and50
50°C
°C. .
4The
higher temperature cooling water is referred
HT water.
to as
HT water.
5Its
temperature
is approximately
90
It has
a
antemperature
approximate
of
temperature
approximately
of °C.
9090°C.
°C.
Task 5-1
Can you improve the sentences by using a more specific & active verb?
6It is possible to utilize
There is a possibility
the
waste heat
the heat of the
of utilizing
the ofwaste
cooling water onboard.
is often produced
example, water
the production
of water onboard
onboard is often
done
in multi-staged
evaporators,
HT water
in multi-staged
evaporators,
and and
HT water
can can
provide the primary heat for the process.
7For
8Currently,
there
is no simulation
that can
no simulation
programmeprogramme
exists
can calculate
that can
do thermal
the calculation
theheat
thermal
powers
in the
heat
calculate
the
powers inofthe
recovery
circle.
Avoid
questions
recovery circle.
forms!
9 The
This
study
develop
a develop
simulation
programme
is to
a simulation
aim
ofaims
this to
study
is
the
development
of a program
for estimating
reliably
the
of heat
into
estimating
howamount
much
reliably
heat
is released of
simulation
program
for making
reliable
estimations
themuch
cooling
water
circle by into
the main
diesel water
engines.
how
heat
is released
the cooling
circle by
the main diesel engines.
When are ’weak verbs’ OK to use?
• Definitions:
Linux is an operating system that…
• Labeling / categorizing:
Speed is a major factor in accessing audio recordings.
• With adjectives:
It is important that…
• Be + to + infinitive
The purpose of the survey is to identify
environmental risks.
TASK 5-2
a. The purpose of this study is to evaluate the
effectiveness of different help systems while filling in
forms.
OK to be + inf.
a. This study aims to evaluate the effectiveness of
different help systems while filling in forms.
a. This study evaluates the effectiveness of different
help systems while filling in forms.
TASK 5-2
b. In order to be competitive in the global market,
it is necessary for the industry to embrace new
manufacturing philosophies.
OK to be + adj..
c. The studied properties were compressive strength,
splitting tensile strength and modulus of elasticity.
c. The studied properties consisted of compressive
strength, splitting tensile strength and modulus of
elasticity.
TASK 5-2
d) There has been an increase in the concentrations of
all of the major greenhouse gases since the beginning of
the Industrial Revolution (about 1700 AD).
d) The concentrations of all of the major greenhouse
gases have increased since the beginning of the
Industrial Revolution (about 1700 AD).
e) A wireless receiver is an item of telecommunications
equipment that receives radio messages from an outside
source.
OK Definition
Put Action into the Verb
1. Avoid ’’there is/are…”
Where is the
action?
There are several important factors that must be
considered in the design of a nuclear power plant.
Ø several important factors Ø must be considered in the
design of a nuclear power plant.
Put Action into the Verb
The action is
The action moved from the
in the
noun phrasehiding
to the verb!
2. Avoid generic verbs
noun phrase!
An analysis of the framework was performed using
standard criteria.
The framework was analyzed using standard criteria.
Generic Verbs:
to perform, to do, to make, to achieve, to accomplish
Put Action into the Verb
What is the
action here?
3. Avoid using ”to be” to hide action
The first developer of the JavaScript language was Netscape.
The JavaScript language was first developed by Netscape.
4. Avoid using ”to be” to introduce numerical
results
Shift the ”topic” to the beginning of NPs
The substrate thickness of the digital versatile disk or DVD
is only 0.6 mm.
The digital versatile disk or DVD has a substrate thickness
of only 0.6 mm.
What kind of verbs should I use instead?
• To achieve a more formal academic style, you can use a
variety of different active relational verbs.
(See handout : Relational verbs table)
include
is composed of
account for
comprise
represent
is located in
refer to
form
involve
TASK 5-3 Each sentence below contains a weak verb.
Replace the weak verb with a suitable action verb offered.
1. The property has several parts: the central living section with two wings
slightly set back, as well as several outbuildings.
(a) comprises (b) composes
(c) involves
2. In their most basic form, all digital computers have four fundamental blocks
(a) include
(b) involve
(c) consist of
3. Most coniferous forests are in the Northern hemisphere, south of the
Tundra.
(a) exist
(b) are located
(c) situate
4. Typical waste materials that can be recycled are paper, glass, plastics, and
metals.
(a) include
(b) are composed of
(c) contain
No contractions (sn’t)
please!
TASK 5-3 Each sentence below contains a weak verb. Replace
the weak verb with a suitable action verb offered.
5. Running a stop sign or turning without signaling isn’t reckless driving.
(a) doesn’t form
(b) doesn’t include
(c) doesn’t constitute
6. End-of-life vehicles (ELVs) are yet another major environmental issue
concerning passenger car transport and automotive industry.
(a) contain
(b) involve
(c) consist of
7. According to research led by Professor Jyrki Kauppinen, increasing
atmospheric carbon dioxide is only 5-10 per cent of the observed warming
on Earth .
(a) includes (b) forms
(c) accounts for
8. User-centered design (UCD) is a process in which the needs, wants, and
limitations of end users are given extensive attention at each stage of the
design of a product.
(a) is referred to as
(b) refers to
(c) accounts for
TASK 5-4
The following sentences contain the problem of the weak verb. How would you
make the sentences clearer and more effective?
1. A
The
long
result
service
of a interruption
long service time
interruption
results in
time
the is
loss
theofloss
IP of IP
packets during the cell reselection procedure.
2. Holography
The most common
is mostuse
commonly
of holography
used toisdisplay
to display
static
static
3-D3-D
pictures.
3.There
aredisciplines
several disciplines
to theindevelopments
3.
Several
contributecontributing
to developments
nanostructure
in nanostructure
scienceworldwide.
and technology worldwide.
science
and technology
4. Flawed
The predictions
flawedmodels
computer
climatethat
models
were that
4.
computerofclimate
predicted
man-made
global
man-made
global
warming
should
have
already
warming
should
have
already
begun
to affect
ourbegun
climatetoinaffect
1950.our
climate in 1950.
TASK 5-4
The following sentences contain the problem of the weak verb. How would you
make the sentences clearer and more effective?
5.
The definition
refers
oftoplagiarism
the
orisclose
the
“use
imitation
or
close
of the
imitation
and
5. Plagiarism
Plagiarism
is defined
as“use
the “use
or close
imitation
oflanguage
the of the
language
thoughts
and
another
thoughts
author
of
and theauthor
representation
and
of them as one’s
of
languageof
and
thoughts
of another
another
author
and the
the representation
representation
of
them
original
one’s
them as
aswork.
one’s original
original work.
work.
6.
6. The
The
The
Thesurface
inkjet-printed
surface
surfaceofof
ofthe
the
the
films
inkjet-printed
inkjet-printed
inkjet-printed
had a relatively
films
films
filmswas
was
smooth
wasrelatively
relatively
relatively
surface
smooth,
smooth,
smooth,
with and
aand
with
root
the
the
a
mean
root
mean
surface
square
root
square
mean
(RMS)
had
(RMS)
square
a average
root
average
(RMS)
mean
roughness
average
square
roughness
(RMS)
roughness
of 3.5
of the
average
nm.surface
of 3.5
roughness
nm.
was 3.5 of
nm.
3.5 nm.
7.7.Dramatic
The model
modifications
was dramatically
weremodified,
made to the
as model,
further analysis
as furtherof the
analysis
data revealed
of the data
unexpected
revealedcorrelations.
unexpected correlations.
TASK 5-4
The following sentences contain the problem of the weak
verb. How would you make the sentences clearer and more effective?
8. The hammer-beam
reconstruction roof
of the
was
hammer-beam
reconstructed
roof
bywas
a team
done
of specialists
by a team in
of specialists
medieval architecture.
in medieval architecture.
9. Performance
There have been
andsignificant
usability have
improvements
significantlyinimproved
performance
sinceand
the
usability
first
models
since
were
theintroduced
first modelsinwere
2001.Peformance
introduced in 2001.
and usability since
the first model was introduced in 2001
10. All
In all
electric-generating
electric-generating
wind
wind
turbines
turbines,
consist
there of
arefour
four
basic
basic
components::aarotor,
components
rotor,electrical
electricalgenerator,
generator,speed
speedcontrol
controlsystem,
system,and
andaa
tower.
• See also MyCourses ->
Avoiding weak verbs
Put action into the verb (awe)
Language aid: verbs to replace weak verbs
2015
Assignment 3: speed review
Where does the action hide?
Speed review: assignment 3
STEP 1
Scan the text and underline structures where the action seems to hide in
the noun phrase.
(e.g., “The first developer…was. -> was first developed by…”
“modifications were made to… -> …was modified…”
STEP 2
Scan through the text and circle all there is structures.
and usability since the first model was introduced in 2001
STEP 3 Circle all generic verbs.
(e.g. perform, do, make, achieve, accomplish…)
and usability since the first model was introduced in 2001
HOMEWORK
• Online modules 2-3
• Assignment 4 (= A2+A3). -> Emended
This assignment consists of the first two paragraphs
(A2 and A3) of your final recommendation report.
- modify, clarify and reorganise
- ensure good focus and flow
- check content and patterns of organisation.
• Remember to include all the required elements!
(see assignment instructions)