Harriet the Hurricane
Written By Melody Ott, LCSW
Harriet's mom sometimes called her a hurricane. She loved to run
and dance and jump and skip. She loved to play with her toys all
over the house. Sometimes, she made a mess, and her mom told
her to clean it up. Harriet was a whirlwind. But the day her
family had to leave their home because of a real hurricane,
Harriet's life felt like a hurricane.
Her family was hurrying and packing the cars. They boarded up
the house and loaded up their pets. It all happened fast, and
Harriet felt scared. Her mom told her they would be okay. Her
dad told her that it would be fine. Harriet wasn't so sure. She
wondered what a hurricane was. She wondered why they had to
leave. Harriet wondered if she would ever see the sparkly pink
ballerina poster in her room again. Harriet felt frightened.
On the car ride to Grandpa's house, her mom and dad talked
about the storm. They talked about what would happen if they
lost everything. Harriet didn't know what that meant, but she
knew it wasn't good. She didn't like this storm. She decided that
this storm was the worst!
When they arrived at Grandpa's, things didn't feel like they
usually did on a visit. Usually, everyone played and had fun. This
time, Dad watched the news. Mom wasn't so snuggly. Harriet felt
alone. Something was really wrong. Harriet didn't know what this
hurricane was all about but she didn't like it at all! Harriet felt
like crying. She wanted to sleep with Mom and Dad. She didn't
want to eat. Harriet felt cranky. Yes, this storm was the worst.
A few days went by at Grandpa's. Mom tried to play and go to
the park, but she kept checking her phone for news about their
house. Dad watched the weather station on TV a lot and talked
to Grandpa about the storm. Then mom said it was time to go
home. Mom said she didn't know what we would find at our
house when we got home.
Harriet still felt scared. She still felt afraid. She wanted to go
home, but what if it was gone or ruined? What if her toys
were gone? What if her sparkly ballerina poster was blown
away? This storm was just the worst!
On the drive home, Mom and Dad talked about insurance,
whatever that was. They talked about cleaning up. They talked
about moving to a new house. Harriet didn't want to move. She
loved her purple bedroom with the pink curtains. She loved her
big snuggly bed. She hated this hurricane. It was definitely the
worst ever!
When they got home, there was water everywhere. Mom said the
ocean came inside of the house. It smelled yucky. Everything
was wet, including Harriet's sparkly pink ballerina poster. Harriet
felt like crying, but she didn't. She kept it all inside. It felt
like an elephant was sitting on her chest. She felt angry and
didn’t understand why this was happening to her. She loved her
pink ballerina poster. She loved her toys. They were gone
forever and she felt like nothing was going to be right, ever
again.
Mom and Dad started cleaning up. They told Harriet to play
outside. They said it wasn't safe in their house. Harriet saw her
neighbor, Freddy, outside too. He said their house got a tree
inside. He said it fell right on the roof and landed in his room.
He said he had to leave his house for a while. He told Harriet
that it would be okay because they would get to come back
when things were fixed back up. He said he could pick a new
color for his room and that he was going to pick bright
green! Freddy seemed okay, and Harriet felt confused. This
storm was the worst, but why did Freddy seem okay?
Freddy said that sometimes hurricanes come. They are really big,
bad storms. Moms and dads worry because they want kids and
pets to be safe. That is why they pack up and evacuate, that is
a big word for leave and go someplace safe away from the
storm. Freddy said that his family went to a school, and there
were lots of other families there too. They camped out in the
cafeteria and played games inside. He said he felt scared, but
that was normal. He said that when he feels scared he talks to
his dad. He said he likes to draw pictures to get the scared out
and that sometimes he just snuggles his favorite stuffed animal,
Jake, the cat. Freddy said it is okay to be frightened or confused
or scared. But he said you can't hold it in or it makes you feel
really yucky inside.
Harriet felt better after she talked to Freddy. She went to her
house and found her mom. She asked her for a hug. Mom
scooped her up and gave her a giant hug. It felt great. Mom
told Harriet that they would be busy for a few days cleaning up
their house. Mom told her that they would have to move to a
new house for a while. Mom said everything was a mess and
that they would have to throw out Harriet's toys. Harriet cried.
She let the tears fall out just like Freddy said to do. She didn't
keep it inside this time. This hurricane was the pits, it was
awful, it was really the worst!
Mom said they would all be okay. She said things would be
different for a little while. She said they would get to come
back home someday, but, for now, they needed to leave.
Soon Harriet went back to school. She got used to her new,
temporary room. Temporary is a big word for the house that
her family would live in until their home was safe again. It
wasn’t her forever home, and Harriet couldn’t wait until her house
was safe to live in again. She went back to dance class. Life
started to feel normal again, but Harriet would never forget that
storm. She was positive that it was the worst. The good news
was that Harriet the Hurricane was back in full force, and she
loved to play and sing and dance!
Freddy's advice to Harriet:
Don't let your feelings stay inside. Storms are scary. Talk to
someone you care about, and share how you feel.
Sometimes it is hard to talk about it, but you can draw a picture
or write a story.
Sometimes you just need to be alone. That is okay too. You can
snuggle with a favorite toy or just be still and quiet.
Questions from kids like Harriet (these may be questions your
children have):
Why do grown-ups get so worried when a hurricane is coming?
Why is it important to evacuate?
What happens to a house when it floods or has a tree fall on
the roof?
Will a hurricane happen again?
Where did the hurricane go?
Did the hurricane destroy other places I love, like the park?
What happened to all of the other people who had to evacuate?
Will my life be different after this?
Will I remember this forever?
Advice to Parents:
During a storm, a child's routine, everything they know, what they
hear you talking about, is changed. This can not only disrupt
sleep schedules, school schedules, and life in general, but it can
cause a tremendous emotional impact on a child.
Many families are forced to evacuate and, upon their return, they
find their homes destroyed or damaged. Moving forward is
difficult for parents, and we often get caught up in dealing with
the loss. There is added paperwork, added clean up, and, like our
children, our lives get turned upside down. Some families find
themselves displaced or without a home, some families find
themselves living in part of their damaged home, some families
have to move. The struggle after a hurricane can be devastating
for everyone. It is an emotional and sometimes physical upheaval.
Parents need to be sure to take care of themselves first. When
flying on an airplane, the flight attendant reminds you to place
your air mask on before you place your child's air mask on. This
situation is no different. Get sleep, eat well, and take care of
yourself. If you find yourself facing overwhelming feelings of
any kind, talk to someone you trust, exercise, get emotional
support from a friend or a therapist. This can be a traumatic
experience, and it is not something to minimize.
When you take care of yourself, you are better able to take
care of your child. Take time to talk with them. Ask them
questions about how they felt during the storm. Talk to them
honestly about the situation and what it means for your family
moving forward. Work with them to find some of the positive
things in the situation. Hug them more often, and understand
that they may be more clingy during this time. Remember that
children heal through play. Play with your children and allow them
to lead the theme of the play. Work to get them back into
their routine as quickly as you are able.
If your child continues to seem disconnected, agitated, or upset,
ask for help from their school or from a counselor. Let your
child's teacher know what is going on. If your family has lost a
pet or a loved one, reach out and get professional support.
Loss of any kind is very difficult, but loss during a storm has an
added layer of sadness, hurt, and difficulty.
If your family is dealing with the aftermath of a hurricane, don’t
resist support from friends and family. They want to help, so
let them! There are many resources available. Below are just a
few.
This is a resource from Hurricane Sandy. It has some very
good information for families and children:
http://www.nj.gov/dcf/home/Resources_TalkingToKidsAboutHurricane
.pdf
The following is a resource page from the National Child
Traumatic Stress Network:
http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/natural-disasters/hurricanes
This article from the American Psychological Association gives
support to parents seeking to help their children heal during the
trauma of a natural disaster:
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/tornadoes-kids.aspx