English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Extended response: Written imaginative —
Othello
This sample is intended to inform the design of assessment instruments in the senior phase of
learning. It highlights the qualities of student work and the match to the syllabus standards.
Dimensions assessed
· Understanding and responding to contexts
· Understanding and controlling textual features
· Creating and evaluating meaning
Assessment instrument
The response presented in this sample is in response to an assessment task
Context
In this unit, you have read and analysed a Shakespearean play and have explored the ways that
Elizabethan ideas, attitudes and values are represented in the text. In particular, you have focused
on representations of religion, social hierarchies (including the Great Chain of Being), race and love,
and how Elizabethan and contemporary audiences might be influenced by the play.
Dimension two
Task
Adopt the role of a character from a Shakespearean play. Write an epistolary narrative to another
character which fills a gap in the original text. You will need to use ideas, attitudes and values
appropriate to the context in which your letter is written in order to influence your audience. You
should use relevant aesthetic and textual features to achieve your purpose and may use quotations
from the play to support your creation of character.
You may choose to set your narrative at the conclusion of the play, prior to the play or at a point in
the play which has significance for your character.
Clear directions
regarding
Genre: Epistolary narrative (personal letter containing an embedded narrative) Dimension three
Role: Student as character from a Shakespearean play
Audience: Recipient of letter
Purpose: To create, to represent
Opportunities to
demonstrate Dimension
one are provided
14844
Length: 800–1200 words
Instrument-specific standards matrix
While the instrument provided opportunities to demonstrate the standards A–E, this student
response has been matched to Standard B and Standard C. For more information about the
syllabus dimensions and standards descriptors, see www.qcaa.qld.edu.au/11703assessment.html.
The on-balance judgments for this response are found on p.7 — Making judgments within
dimensions.
Standard A
The student work has the following characteristics:
· exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to
Understanding
and
responding to
contexts
achieve specific purposes
· discerning selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant and substantive
subject matter to support perspectives
· manipulation and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with
recipient.
The student work has the following characteristics:
· a discerning combination of a range of grammatically accurate language
structures for specific effects, including clauses and sentences
Understanding
and controlling
textual features
· discerning use of cohesive devices to develop and emphasise ideas and
connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing
· discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes
· discerning use of features to achieve specific effects:
- conventional spelling and punctuation.
The student work has the following characteristics:
· discerning manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin
Creating and
evaluating
meaning
the epistolary narrative and influence audiences
· subtle and complex creation of perspectives and representations of
concepts, identities, times and places
· discerning use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an
epistolary narrative.
Note: Annotations to show the match of the qualities of the student response with the standards
descriptors within each dimension are shaded by dimension: Dimension one, Dimension two and
Dimension three.
The Creating meaning objectives of Dimension three are assessed. Students are creating meaning
in their own text (an epistolary narrative), not evaluating the meaning in Shakespeare’s play.
English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority
October 2014
Page 2 of 7
Student response — Standard A
The annotations show the match to the instrument-specific standards.
San Marco
4137,
Comments
Venice,
th
26 July, 1603
Comments
exploitation of genre
patterns and
conventions of an
epistolary narrative
to achieve specific
purposes
Macario, My Dear Boy,
manipulation and
control of role of the
letter writer and
relationship with
recipient
I trust you’ve been well since our last correspondence. I
am most glad of your successes in Roncade. Promotion
to lieutenant is unusual for one so young, but to those
with knowledge of your bravery and talents, this is
anything but astonishing. Your father would be
immensely proud of you. However, Macario, I am afraid
that I do not write only to praise your efforts. The true port
of this letter is to beseech you to return to Venice and my
Desdemona.
As your god-father, your padrino, I have always
considered you a son. When we lost your father, my
fellow senator, dear friend and one of the finest men in
Venice, I only hope I was a fair surrogate to you. Seven
months ago, when you asked me for Desdemona’s hand,
words could not describe my joy. Her refusal broke my
heart as much as yours. I am bereft that you left Venice
as a result.
Since then, both fitting and dreadfully unfitting suitors
have sought Desdemona and have left likewise
disappointed. I was certain she was to die a maid. How I
wish that were now the truth, for my sweet Desdemona
has fallen under the spell of that Barbary horse, Othello.
I have seen them together, talking merrily in the
courtyard. She is in love, Macario. I know it.
discerning selection,
organisation and
synthesis of relevant
and substantive
subject matter to
support perspectives
(attitudes about
individuals and
groups used to
construct and
support
perspectives)
I must admit — he is most impressive. So desired is he
that it took three requests for him to accede to our
senate’s plea for his service. It pains me to admit that I
oft invited him to dine and pressed him to regale us with
stories of his adventures. His tales of both battle and
misfortune enchanted Desdemona, and I too, fell under
his spell.
English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority
October 2014
Page 3 of 7
Comments
discerning
manipulation of the
ways ideas, attitudes
and values underpin
the epistolary
narrative and
influence audiences
(attitudes about
power, gender, class
manipulated to
influence recipient of
letter)
discerning use of
cohesive devices
to develop and
emphasise ideas
and connect parts
of the epistolary
narrative,
including
paragraphing
(use of dates and
times to connect the
narrative)
discerning use of
a wide range of
apt vocabulary for
specific purposes
Comments
Macario, while he is a laudable general and deserves every
credit, he is not worthy of my Desdemona. I have spoken
firmly with her, that she must beware the Moor as it is in his
nature to be barbaric. She laughed and said that while I am
her lord of duty, it is Othello who is lord of her heart. She
should know better Macario; I have taught her that none but
a nobleman is worthy. Her connection to such an infidel
pains me and it is my duty as a father to prevent it. Lest you
think it is envy or hatred that troubles me so, I must tell you
a story, Macario — one I have never told Desdemona — it is
much too vulgar to tell a woman, especially one as pure as
her.
A quarter century ago, when I was just a boy, there was
an influx of Moors to Venice — mainly soldiers and
labourers, defined by their calloused hands and feet. We
Venetians were taught to despise these slaves of our
state. Macario, I knew this to be wrong and tried to
consider them peers, but a terrible event taught me that
one must be extremely cautious around foreigners to our
state, as they manifest the evils in the world.
My mother’s sister, Luciana, whom Desdemona much
resembles, lived with us until my eighth year. A second
mother to Gratiano and me, naturally, we reciprocated
her love and affection. In the late summer of 1578, my
Zia Luciana was substantially altered. Often she would
come home late into the night to find me waiting for her to
sing me to sleep. Though I cannot recall much detail of
those nights, I distinctly remember her glorious mood.
However, one particular night, a week or two prior to my
eighth birthday, is clear in my memory.
She returned at midnight and we sat together in the
garden. The night air was the perfect point between
warm and cool and the stars were a million specks of
diamond and silver, epitomising the beauty of God’s
creation. Luciana was especially happy that night; she
whispered,
subtle and complex
creation of
perspectives and
representations of
concepts, identities,
times and places
(representations of
individuals and
groups aligned
with attitudes and
values of
Shakespearean
times)
discerning use of
aesthetic features
to achieve specific
purposes in an
epistolary
narrative
“Love is the most powerful magic, Brabantio. When love
presents itself, no matter her appearance, welcome her
with open arms.”
My eighth birthday was almost perfect. Zia Luciana’s gift
was magnificent — a silver pendant shaped into angel
wings. She said, a look of melancholy in her eyes, that it
would protect me and give me the freedom to love
whomever I desired. I could sense a shift.
The next day, she left us to start a life with her one ‘true
love’, a Moor named Aamil, a lowly labourer. My mother
yelled angrily,
English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority
October 2014
Page 4 of 7
Comments
discerning use of a
wide range of apt
vocabulary for
specific purposes
“Has the Moor robbed you of your senses, Luciana? Are
you incapable of seeing him for who he is? Someone not
fit enough to lick your shoe! It’s a sin against nature, I tell
you!”
Mamma told her that if she left for the Moor, we would be
disgraced and she would never be permitted to return. To
this, Zia Luciana simply replied,
Comments
exploitation of genre
patterns and
conventions of an
epistolary narrative
to achieve specific
purposes
(use of dialogue to
develop narrative)
“Then I shall be free.”
She gathered her things and left, me tailing her with the
caution of a thief following his victim. Eventually, we arrived
in a part of Venice foreign to me. The acrid smells made me
dizzy and the vagrants and dirty children strewn across the
streets, assaulted my eyes. Zia met with the Moor and they
embraced passionately. Frightened, an intruder in a private
moment, I ran home in tears, my silver pendant pounding
against my chest. Who to trust — Zia, who said that love is
to be embraced, or Mamma, who said that to marry one so
unworthy is a sin.
a discerning
combination of a
range of
grammatically
accurate language
structures for
specific effects,
including clauses
and sentences
Months passed and it was though she had never existed.
I however, couldn’t forget my much-loved Zia. Yearning
for her, and fascinated at her blatant defiance of God, I
snuck out, unnoticed, and returned to the vile area where
she and the Moor lived. As I arrived, I heard whimpering,
followed by Zia’s desperate plea,
“Please… sto-p; you’ll hurt your unborn son!”
Urgency and love consumed every fibre of my being and
I rushed into the house in time to witness the Moor
deliver his brutal blow. He stormed out the door,
malicious eyes staring straight through me. I stood
frozen, until Zia whimpered again. I rushed to her side,
and clasped her hands. The two of us sat on the floor for
many minutes, crying silently at what we both knew had
been lost.
discerning use of
aesthetic features to
achieve specific
purposes in an
epistolary narrative
discerning selection,
organisation and
synthesis of relevant
and substantive
subject matter to
support perspectives
I begged her to come home, but my efforts were futile.
She insisted there was a connection between her and the
Moor that I couldn’t understand. She promised all would
be fine and made me promise not tell a soul. There was
nothing else I could do. I visited her when I could (always
meeting in a public place), but opportunities to do so
diminished as my studies and training increased.
English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority
October 2014
Page 5 of 7
Comments
discerning use of
cohesive devices to
develop and
emphasise ideas
and connect parts of
the epistolary
narrative, including
paragraphing
On the eve of my fourteenth birthday, I planned to visit
my Zia once more. I had heard on the Rialto that she had
recently welcomed a son, Brabantio, and I so wanted to
meet my cousin. As I was leaving, my mother
approached me, disbelief, and sorrow on her face. She
said almost inaudibly,
Comments
discerning use of a
wide range of apt
vocabulary for
specific purposes
“Luciana is dead, Brabantio. She tried to escape the
Moor and, in her haste, did not notice a mad horse
galloping towards her. The Barbarian is to blame.”
Zia Luciana’s death changed me irrevocably. You see
why it is imperative I protect Desdemona from the Moor
Othello? Good women like my Zia, God rest her soul, and
my sweet Desdemona are the most vulnerable to the
devil in disguise. Othello may appear valiant, and his
genius as a general is undeniable, but I cannot allow
Desdemona to suffer the same fate as Luciana. Macario,
you must come back to my Desdemona at once and
secure her happiness, as well as your own. I do believe
we can make her see sense.
discerning
manipulation of the
ways ideas, attitudes
and values underpin
the epistolary
narrative and
influence audiences
(attitudes about
difference, family,
loyalty manipulated
to influence recipient
of letter)
I am enclosing my pendant. Keep it as a symbol of my
loyalty. Make haste – our family’s happiness and
Desdemona’s safety depends on you.
Your loving padrino,
exploitation of
genre patterns and
conventions of an
epistolary
narrative to
achieve specific
purposes
Brabantio
English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority
October 2014
Page 6 of 7
Making judgments within dimensions
Student responses have been matched to the instrument-specific standards matrix. On-balance
judgment is of a Standard A across the three dimensions.
Standard A
The student work has the following characteristics:
· exploitation of genre patterns and conventions of an epistolary narrative to
Understanding
and
responding to
contexts
achieve specific purposes
· discerning selection, organisation and synthesis of relevant and substantive
subject matter to support perspectives
· manipulation and control of role of the letter writer and relationship with
recipient.
The student work has the following characteristics:
· a discerning combination of a range of grammatically accurate language
structures for specific effects, including clauses and sentences
Understanding
and controlling
textual features
· discerning use of cohesive devices to develop and emphasise ideas and
connect parts of the epistolary narrative, including paragraphing
· discerning use of a wide range of apt vocabulary for specific purposes
· discerning use of features to achieve specific effects:
- conventional spelling and punctuation.
The student work has the following characteristics:
· discerning manipulation of the ways ideas, attitudes and values underpin
Creating and
evaluating
meaning
the epistolary narrative and influence audiences
· subtle and complex creation of perspectives and representations of
concepts, identities, times and places
· discerning use of aesthetic features to achieve specific purposes in an
epistolary narrative
Key: Dimension one
Dimension two
Dimension three
Note: Colour highlights have been used in the table to emphasise the qualities that discriminate between the
standards.
Acknowledgments
The QCAA acknowledges the contribution of MacGregor State High School in the preparation of
this document.
English 2010
Sample assessment instrument and student responses
Queensland Curriculum & Assessment Authority
October 2014
Page 7 of 7