INTERNET ETIQUETTE (NETIQUETTE) FOR BELIEVERS
The internet can be a wonderful tool for us, as believers, to practice the Great Commandment:
to love God with all our hearts and to love our neighbors as we practice biblical love and
respect for ourselves. The Golden Rule also comes into play in internet communications: Do
unto others as you would have them to unto you. Having researched emerging rules of
etiquette on the internet, now called “netiquette,” I was surprised at how many of the “rules” I
have accidentally broken myself. So I decided to write this brief summary of ways we can
practice Christ-likeness on the internet while remaining our true and honest selves, loving and
being loved via the net.
MEIER’S TWELVE RULES OF NETIQUETTE FOR BELIEVERS
1.
SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE. When sending emails, or using facebook or other social
networks, be sure what you are saying is accurate and that you are sharing it in a loving
manner. Being a Christian psychiatrist, I know there are many Christians who have
genetic depression, mood swings, ADHD, OCD, or even schizophrenia who can now live
happy, productive lives for Christ because of the invention of medications. Psychiatric
medication can correct the chemical imbalances that cause these disorders, much like
insulin allows diabetics to live much longer and productive lives than would be possible
without medication. I get so angry when I see ignorant, self-righteous, uneducated
Christians say on facebook or other sites that it is a sin for Christians to take psychiatric
medications. They are potentially killing people who believe them and refuse to seek
proper care. If you choose to believe something so absurd, that’s your right, but don’t
insist that if others don’t agree, they are not as spiritual as they should be.
2.
DON’T BE “SUPERSPIRITUAL.” The great Christian philosopher, Francis Schaeffer, who
went to be with the Lord in 1984, wrote about how Satan uses “superspirituality” in
Christians to further his evil causes. God wants us to be truly spiritual, practicing love, joy,
peace, patience, meekness, gentleness, and other examples of the Holy Spirit’s influence in
our lives. Superspirituality is when a believer, or a pretend-believer, acts more spiritual
than others, preaches at them, brags about his or her spirituality, and constantly quotes
Bible verses (like biblical band aides) instead of using them when appropriate like Jesus
did. To use the internet to keep up with our own communications and also to be a good
influence for Christ, we must practice Christ-likeness, not preach it online or shout it in a
condescending manner.
3.
DON’T GOSSIP. I hate it when a Christian sends out a general email to a large group of
people or facebooks a request to pray for her unsaved neighbor who is living in sin, for
someone’s impotence problem or temper outbursts, or other negative things. If a Sunday
School class has a prayer list where all members agree to share their own personal
requests for the other group members to pray for, that is wonderful and perfectly fine.
But don’t put personal information about anyone, without that person’s permission, in
Paul Meier, M.D.
888-7 CLINIC
www.meierclinics.org
Page 1
any public correspondences or else you are committing one of the seven sins God hates
the most—gossiping. Proverbs chapter 6 lists the seven sins God hates the most, and
number one is an arrogant look—thinking yourself better or more spiritual than others.
Among the other six are sowing discord among the brothers, gossiping, stretching the
truth, impulsively rushing to do evil, and murder. Christians sometimes think that
because they do not commit adultery, which is one of the ten commandments but is not in
the top seven list, they are somehow spiritual even though they commit four or five of the
top seven sins, including on the internet.
4.
DON’T BE OVERLY WORDY. Narcissists write on and on about themselves until the
reader becomes nauseous. Christ-like believers use the internet to listen as much as to
share, asking the people they email how they are feeling and doing as well as sharing
briefly their own thoughts and feelings.
5.
NO MASS MAILINGS. Christians like to find information—often wonderful information—
or cute jokes, inspiring poems, or other generally good and informative things, and then
send them out to their entire mailing list. I have done this myself prior to getting some
legitimate complaints from personal friends who do not want their email addresses being
sent to others on my email list. Share these wonderful things with people one at a time, or
people who have given you permission to share their email address with the others on
your mailing list, but not to people who value their privacy. And whatever you do, do not
end it with a guilt trip; if they do not pass the information along to their own mailing list
they are somehow “breaking the chain” of God’s work. It is arrogant to think you can
speak for God.
6.
BE COMPASSIONATE AND EMPATHETIC. It is hard to share feelings on the internet. In
person, people can see the genuine concern and love on our faces when we share
personal things with each other. On the internet, things can get misinterpreted more
easily, or we can give pat answers rather than practicing Christ-likeness. Jesus said to
weep with those who weep. If someone is grieving a great loss, and you quote Romans
8:28 out of context, for example, telling them, “Oh well, all things work together for good,”
or “Well, it must have been God’s will,” rather than doing what Jesus said to do, which is to
show empathy and weep and grieve with them, then you are applying biblical band aides
and probably offending others rather than being of benefit to them. Solomon said that a
brother offended is harder to win than defeating a strong city. Romans 8:28 is a great
verse, one I have used many times in my profession, but I use it in context, not to
discourage grieving. In fact, Jesus said in the beatitudes that people who weep and grieve
are blessed by Him, because their grieving and weeping will bring comfort.
7.
DON’T FLAME. Flaming is an internet term meaning an exchange of inflammatory
remarks to each other in anger. If someone hurts you, Ephesians 4:26-27 says it is
perfectly fine and not a sin for you to feel angry. The Bible even encourages you in
various passages, even in the Old Testament such as Leviticus 19, to share your anger
appropriately with the person who offended you, but not to get vengeance or to hold
grudges. If you do, you give Satan a foothold in your life. So when you are angry at
someone, think and pray about it before you decide what would be the most godly way to
share that anger. Perhaps, under certain circumstances, it might even be better not to
share your feelings rather than reacting in anger and saying things in an inflammatory
manner that you may very well regret later.
Paul Meier, M.D.
888-7 CLINIC
www.meierclinics.org
Page 2
8.
DON’T BE GULLIBLE. The middle verse in the entire Bible is a verse in Psalms that says
“Put not your trust in man.” Don’t automatically believe information on the internet or in
all e-mails. Human beings often lie or distort the truth. Much of the information on the
internet is untrue or only partially true. Patients come to see me and tell me information
that I know is scientifically false, so I ask them if they found it on the internet. If they say
yes, then I tell them that if it was on the internet it must not be true. I am being facetious,
of course, because some information on the internet actually is true and helpful, but I am
making the point that they should not be naïve and believe all the information they read
on the internet. Many evil people use the internet to take advantage of others sexually,
financially, or in other ways. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Protect yourself!
9.
DON’T BULLY OR PUT UP WITH BULLYING. Sadly, in this era of declining morals, some
teens and even adults use the internet to bully other people, getting a kick out of it
somehow. They insult someone directly or on social networks where the insulted person
can also read it. This is a horrible thing to do—stealing a person’s dignity and reputation.
If you have done it, repent and never do it again. If it is happening to you, contact
authority figures who can stop and punish the bullies.
10.
CHECK YOUR EMAILS OFTEN. If you choose to use email to communicate with your
friends, like I myself have, then it hurts someone’s feelings if they communicate
something important to you and you have not responded even days later. If you use the
internet, check your emails frequently, at least daily. I check mine several times a day,
sending or receiving a dozen or more emails a day with my prayer partner, friends, family
and associates. It is a wonderful privilege to be able to so easily stay in touch with a larger
group of people than would be possible if I had to call people on the phone, which can be
time consuming and frustrating if they are not available to answer the phone. I still use
the phone to call and text, but I can stay in touch with more people in less time by the
wonders of the internet. It is a blessing. I have friends in France, Israel, Australia, Sweden
and other countries that I can keep up with via email. In fact, my prayer partner is a
French psychologist who lives in Paris, and we email each other almost daily.
11.
DON’T SEND MESSAGES USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. I have made this mistake before
myself. But when emailing someone, if you use all capital letters they feel as though you
are shouting at them.
12.
BE HELPFUL TO OTHERS. If someone is new to the internet, help him. Be patient and
teach him these rules to keep him from embarrassing himself. Pray and look for other
ways to show Christian love on the internet. Look for people to help or encourage.
Sometimes I just sit down with my computer and pray a few minutes—I even read my
Bible daily on the computer—and then think of two or three people to whom I can send a
brief word of encouragement. Sometimes it is just, “Hi, I was just thinking about you and
prayed for God to bless you today in a special way.” There have been many times when I
felt temporarily down in the dumps because of some loss or tragic event in my life, only to
be encouraged by a positive email sent by a friend thousands of miles away who had no
idea I needed his support at that very moment. God uses the internet through us
sometimes. Pretty cool, right?
Paul Meier, M.D.
888-7 CLINIC
www.meierclinics.org
Page 3