​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
Good, scholarly sentences are not just about being grammatically correct, they
communicate your research in a way that gets to the point (direct), place emphasis on
what you did and concluded (active), and cannot be misunderstood (clear). How you
write your sentences will play a key role regarding the comprehension and impact your
paper will have on readers. In this module you will learn:
1. How to create interest in your writing by using different types of sentences
2. How word choice affects sentence strength
3. What to avoid when writing sentences
1. Sentence Types
1. Simple sentences consist of one clause with a subject and a verb.
a. Example: ​
She went to the supermarket.
2. Compound sentences are composed of two or more simple sentences that
are joined with a:
a. Conjunction
Example: ​
Josh held onto the rope and hoped it would not break.
b. Semicolon
Example: ​
Hold onto the rope; hopefully it will not break.
c. Adverb
Example: ​
Josh held onto the rope; however, he questioned its durability.
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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3. Complex sentences contain one independent clause and one or more
dependent clauses. The relationship between clauses is signaled by
subordinating conjunctions (in bold).
Although the spectrometer was under repair​
,​
we were able to continue our research.
​
Dependent clause​
Independent clause
​
We took a break from work ​
since the spectrometer was under repair.
Independent clause ​
Dependent clause
​
4. Compound-complex sentences​
contain two or more independent clauses and
at least one dependent clause.
Dependent clause
​
​
Independent clause
Dependent clause
​
Although​
the spectrometer was under repair​
,​
we were able to continue our research​
;​
and we
finished on time.
2. Use Direct Language
1. This​
,​
these,​
it​
​
,​
that, ​
and ​
there​
are vague; instead, directly state to what you are
referring.
2. Be as specific as possible when you are describing characteristics.
Example 1: Use direct language
Weak:​
To meet the demands of the rapidly growing population, farmers have been turning to
​
agricultural technologies.
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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Okay, but how do agricultural technologies meet those demands?
Stronger:​
To meet the demands of the rapidly growing population, farmers have been turning to
​
agricultural technologies to scale up production.
Now we know that agricultural technologies scale up production thereby addressing the rapidly
growing population.
Weak:​
The modified water desalination technology is promising.
​
What is modified and what makes the technology promising?
Stronger:​
The modified membrane in the new water desalinator makes the technology promising
​
because it can now process 100 more liters of water per day.
This sentence is specific about what was modified, and the direct effect the modification had on
the technology.
3. Use Action Verbs
1. Almost every resource you can find will tell you to place the action of the
sentence in the verb.
2. Action verbs invigorate your writing and make it more exciting and convincing to
read. They also make your writing more concise, which makes it easier to read.
3. Do not turn a verb into a noun by adding “tion” to the end (University of
Wisconsin Writing Center).
4. Action verbs will transform your sentences from passive voice to active voice,
which is the favorable voice in most scholarly writing.
5. Many universities have curated lists of action verbs for you to make your writing
more exciting. Here are a few we find useful:
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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a. Penn State list of action verbs
b. Rice University: Choose active, precise verbs
Example 2: Use action verbs
Weak:​
After the ​
​
compilation​
of articles, the researchers wrote their literature review.
This sentence is in the passive voice
Strong:​
After they ​
​
compiled​
articles, the researchers wrote their literature review.
This sentence is better because it uses an action verb, but it could still be better.
Strongest:​
The researchers wrote their literature review after they compiled articles.
​
This sentence is now both direct and active.
Weak:​
This study ​
​
has increased​
the visibility of genome mapping as it relates to human health.
“Has increased” is the passive voice.
Strong:​
This study ​
​
increases ​
the visibility of genome mapping as it relates to human health.
“Increases” is the active voice and is therefore the better choice for this sentence.
Strongest:​
This study increases the visibility of genome mapping in relation to human health.
​
This sentence uses the active voice, and directly states the connection of genome mapping to
human health.
4. When to Use Gerunds
1. Gerunds are verbs converted to nouns by adding “ing” to the end. They change
the action and object in a sentence.
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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Example 3: Turning a verb into a gerund noun
She was ​
doing her reading ​
for History class when we got home.
This sentence turns “reading” into a noun. Reading is an object of the verb “doing.”
2. Gerunds are less acceptable in STEM fields than others.
Example 4: Avoid gerunds in STEM fields
Weak:​
The researchers did the sampling randomly to select a cross section of solar panels
​
to test.
This sentence changes the action “to sample” into a noun by making “sampling” the object. It
lacks an action verb, which makes it a weak sentence, especially in the STEM fields.
Stronger:​
The researchers randomly sampled a cross section of solar panels to test.
​
This sentence contains an action verb, “sampled” so it is a stronger sentence.
3. A gerund phrase can condense statements into one sentence. These phrases
contain an action and an object.
Example 5: Combine sentences using a gerund
Weak:​
The classification of Monet’s style as “Impressionism” started in 1874. This is when he
​
exhibited ​
Impression, Sunrise​
.
Stronger:​
The classification of Monet’s style as “Impressionism” started in 1874 while he was
​
exhibiting​
Impression, Sunrise​
​
.
This sentence changed “exhibited” to the gerund “exhibiting” which creates the gerund phrase
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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“exhibiting ​
Impression, Sunrise​
.”
OR
While exhibiting​
Impression, Sunrise​
in 1874, Monet’s style gained its classification as
“Impressionism.”
Here we rearranged the order of phrases in the sentence, and a gerund phrase was no longer
needed to join them. This is not necessarily better, it’s just a different style. The style you choose
depends on the conventions of your discipline, and the sentence structures surrounding a
sentence (remember you want to vary sentence structure). 4. There are many websites and books that explain gerunds and gerund phrases.
We used the Purdue OWLand Davis, K. (1983). ​
Sentence combining and
paragraph construction​
. New York, NY: MacMillan Publishing Co, Inc.
5. Avoid Using “Not”
1. Use the positive version of a phrase when you can, or use the prefixes “un” and
“dis,” rather than using “not.”
Example 6: Avoid using “not”
Weak:​
In a greenhouse microclimate, ​
​
crops are not directly​
exposed to open-air climate
​
conditions,​
and can therefore be produced more predictably, in greater quantity, and with less
water.
Stronger:​
In a greenhouse microclimate,​
​
crops are raised in climate-controlled conditions​
,
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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and can therefore be produced more predictably, in greater quantity, and with less water.
Weak:​
The lab technician ​
​
did not agree​
with her supervisor’s interpretation of the results.
Stronger:​
The lab technician ​
​
disagreed​
with her supervisor’s interpretation of the results.
6. Avoid Ambiguities
1. Ambiguities result when words are placed in a sequence that can be interpreted
in multiple ways.
Example 7: Avoid ambiguities
Weak:​
The tides are controlled by the moon on planet earth.
​
This sentence is unclear about whether the tides are on planet earth or the moon is on planet
earth. Another problem with this sentence are the words “are controlled”. This is the passive
voice. A better arrangement of these words is:
Stronger:​
The moon controls the ocean’s tides on planet earth.
​
This is active voice in that “The moon controls”, and it connects the tides to planet earth better
than the first sentence.
7. Be Concise
1. Conciseness will help the directness and clarity of your sentences.
2. Avoid word redundancy
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
www.sites.psu.edu/pubhub
Example 8: Avoid redundancy
Weak:​
The marble is small in ​
​
size.
We imply that we’re talking about size when we say something is small so there is no reason
to include it.
Stronger:​
The marble is small.
​
Weak:​
She ran her mile ​
​
quickly​
in eight minutes.
Adverbs, like “quickly,” can be redundant so only include them if they help to describe the
scenario.
Stronger:​
She ran her mile in eight minutes.
​
8. Reduce Wordiness
1. University of Wisconsin calls attention to “expletive constructions.” Phrases like
“it is” “there are” and “she had” are usually unnecessary.
Example 9: Reduce wordiness
Weak:​
It is​
​
best to keep a detailed lab notebook​
so that​
researchers can describe their
methodology correctly in research articles.
Two expletive constructives in this sentence make it sound like two disjointed ideas whereas
it could just read as one cohesive idea.
Stronger:​
Researchers should keep detailed lab notebooks to describe their methodology
​
correctly in research articles.
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
www.sites.psu.edu/pubhub
Weak:​
The pyramids ​
​
are indications of​
the sophisticated architectural knowledge of ancient
civilizations.
“Are indications of” is a wordy phrase and can be reduced to a singular word to
communicate the same meaning.
Stronger:​
The pyramids ​
​
indicate​
the sophisticated architectural knowledge of ancient
civilizations.
Weak:​
The researchers cannot emphasize enough how valuable the framework was to the
​
study design.
This is a roundabout way to state a simple phrase.
Stronger:​
The framework was valuable to the study design.
​
9. Avoid Strings of Words
1. These are awkward and cumbersome.
Example 10: Avoid strings of words
Weak:​
The ​
​
student-faculty paper symposium​
is on Friday.
This sentence has four nouns in a row: student, professor, paper, and conference.
Stronger:​
The symposium for student-faculty papers is on Friday.
​
This sentence removes the long string of nouns, and also places the subject of the sentence, the
symposium, at the beginning to better orient the reader.
Weak:​
The maker ​
​
of the​
shoes was fond ​
of the​
leather ​
from ​
Italy.
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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These prepositional words lengthen the sentence unnecessarily.
Stronger:​
The shoemaker was fond of Italian leather.
​
10. Only Use Necessary Words
1. If you can cross out words and still convey the same meaning, then you do not
need those words.
Example 11: Remove unnecessary words
Weak:​
Some suggest that​
​
there is a relationship between hair and eye color (Williams, 1999).
Stronger:​
There is a relationship between hair and eye color (Williams, 1999).
​
OR
Williams (1999) found a relationship between hair and eye color.
Weak:​
The object is ​
​
small in size​
.
Since the word “small” already suggests you’re talking about size, you do not need to explicitly
say “size.”
Stronger:​
The object is small.
​
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
www.sites.psu.edu/pubhub
11. Use Parallel Structures
1. Parallel structures within a sentence help you emphasize an idea and make
sentences easy to read (Kirszner & Mandell, 2005)
2. Create parallel structures by using conjunctions (​
and​
,​
but​
,​
or​
,​
than​
,​
as,​
). Example 12: Use parallel structures in a sentence to emphasize an idea
Weak:​
The judicial branch of government interprets the law, while also carrying out its
​
application.
This sentence is not grammatically incorrect but it is awkward to read. The two phrases in the
sentence to not contain parallel structures.
Stronger:​
The judicial branch of government interprets the law and carries out its application.
​
This sentence is compound and flows easily with the parallel phrasing structure we gave it.
3. Create parallel structures by using the same grammatical structure when listing
groups of verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc.
Example 13: How to create parallel structures
Weak:​
Consequently, the researchers had to withdraw four subjects from the study and then
​
recruited new ones.
The verb phrase “then recruited” does not use the same structure as the verb “withdraw” and
makes this sentence awkward.
Stronger:​
Consequently, the researchers had to withdraw four subjects from the study and recruit
​
​
Writing Direct, Active, and Clear Sentences
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new ones.
Now “withdraw” and “recruit,” the two verbs in the sentence, use a parallel structure and make
the sentence easier to to read.
12. Edit Your Sentences
1. Like many of the examples in this module, a grammatically correct sentence is
not necessarily a strong sentence. If you are trying to write a complex idea, first
get it down on paper. Then, come back to it to rearrange words and phrases to
best communicate your idea.
Sources and Additional Resources:
1. University of Wisconsin: Writing clear, concise, and direct sentences
2. Writing Concisely and Avoiding Redundancy
3. Improving Sentence Clarity
4. University of Richmond: How to Make Sentences Clear and Concise
5. Concise Writing Workshop Handout
6. Kirszner, L. G. & Mandell, S. R. (2005). ​
Foundations first: Sentences and paragraphs
(​
2nd ed.​
). Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.
Other Modules to Reference:
1. Choosing Direct and Accurate Words
2. Words and Phrases to Avoid