
Use strong active verbs

Unbury verbs disguised as
nouns

Use active voice

Use the dependent clause

Avoid over use of
prepositional phrases
1
Type
Definition
Sample
simple sentence
(independent clause)
One complete thought with
subject (noun) and predicate
(verb).
Our team completed the
project.
compound
sentence
(2 independent
clauses)
Two complete but related
The team was challenged,
independent clauses joined by a but we were happy with
conjunction.
the results.
complex sentence
(independent clause
and a dependent
clause)
An independent clause and a
dependent clause.
A dependent clause has a noun
and verb, but cannot stand
alone.
When we finished the
project, we held a team
party.

Avoid weak verbs. They convey practically
no sense of action
 do, make, perform, have
 forms of the verb to be (is, was)

Avoid nouns that are really verbs in
disguise
 Substitute verbs that create a clear sense of action
At the core of every good sentence is a
strong, precise verb.
3
Make a recommendation
Formulate an argument
Arrive at a conclusion
Recommend
Argue
Conclude
Disguised verbs get buried in the sentence:
The manager came to the
realization that
telecommuting made sense.
Tip
The manager realized that
telecommuting made sense.
Look for words ending in tion
or ment. Could they be
converted to verbs?
4
Frisky ate my homework. (4)
Frisky = Doer / subject of sentence
ate = Active Verb
homework = Object of action
My homework was eaten by Frisky. (6)
homework = Object as subject
was eaten = passive verb
by Frisky = Doer object of preposition
5
The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery
breath. (10)
The dragon’s fiery breath scorched the metropolis. (7)
The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks. (6)
The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks.
The explosion was caused by a kerosene lamp. (8)
A kerosene lamp caused the explosion. (6)
6
To emphasize the recipient of an action
An investigation was launched. (by accounting).
To de-emphasize negative news
Cash refunds cannot be made. (by us)
T0 conceal the doer of an action
An error was made in our sales figures.
7
Active voice – less tactful
Passive voice – more tactful
We cannot grant you credit.
Credit cannot be granted.
The CEO made a huge error in
projecting profits.
A huge error was made in
projecting profits.
I launched a successful fitness
program for our company last
year.
A successful fitness program was
launched for our company last
year.
8

A dependent clause…
 Highlights the importance of something
 Links ideas together
 Shows how ideas are related

Start with a subordinating conjunction
or relative pronoun
9
Subordinating
conjunctions
Relative
Pronouns
So
Although
Where
Than
Before
Though
After
Because
If
Since
As
Unless
While
When
Whereas
until
Who What
Which
That
How (many)
Why
10
The project was not completed on time because the
machine parts were stolen.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
A helium nucleus has two protons whereas hydrogen has
only one.
Energy supplies will dwindle unless we conserve.
11

in progress

on the floor

beside the garage

between the cities

of data-processing
equipment

to a Martian

by walking on hot coals

Less informative alternative to
dependent clause

Treat all ideas as grammatically
equal
– No discrimination
– No emphasis among
qualifying details

Reader is left to interpret what
you are trying to say
12
In their specifications for engine parts, titanium is
often requested by engineers because of its
resistance to the effects of high temperatures. (6)
Because titanium resists high temperatures,
engineers often request it in their engine part
specifications.
• dependent clause
• active voice
• only 1 preposition
strong verb
13

Eliminate unnecessary expressions

Limit long lead-ins

Drop unnecessary fillers

Remove redundant words

Dump trite expressions

Avoid slang and clichés
15
Instead of this
Try this
We are of the opinion that
We think
Please feel free to
Please
In addition to the above
Also
At this point in time
Now
Despite the fact that
Although
Instead of this
Try this
This memo is to inform
you that all employees
meet today.
All employees
meet today.
I am writing this letter
to say thanks to
everyone who voted.
Thanks to
everyone who
voted.
Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there
is/was and it is/was when used merely to take
up space.
Instead of this
Try this
There was only one
employee who should
be promoted.
It was Lisa and Jeff
who were honored.
Only one employee
should be promoted.
Lisa and Jeff were
honored.
Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What
words could be omitted in these expressions?
advance warning
close proximity
exactly identical
filled to capacity
final outcome
necessary requisite
new beginning
past history
refer back
serious danger
advance warning
close proximity
exactly identical
filled to capacity
final outcome
necessary requisite
new beginning
past history
refer back
serious danger
Trite and Outdated
Modern
as per your request
at your request
pursuant to your request
at your request
attached hereto
attached
under separate cover
separately
Avoid informal expressions that have changed meanings.
Avoid clichés. Substitute more precise words.
Instead of this
Try this
We had reached the end of
our rope.
We could go no further.